The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Drawing Lies (feat. Andy Fiori)

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

@thebonfiresxm

And now the bonfire with big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Bonfire, serious XM-Fech Talk 103. I'm Dan Soder. That's big J. Ocarson. He can't talk right now because he's drawn. He's going against Christine in a draw. If Andy Fury's hanging out, his special check right out on YouTube this Thursday. That's October 6th, correct? Yes. Because you can go stream it on YouTube We're in studio and Christine is

Trying to do a better version of J's twisted sister drawing while J tries to recreate his quiet riot aka quit riot drawing and It got intense in here. I probably say that was one of the most intense breaks Meanwhile Lou two for three on shooting away those juggling. Yeah, that was a good form though. We saw you. Oh yeah. It's all those shots dude. You saw your being sneaky. I get nervous when people watch me still my handshake so I can't do it. Jacob left because he doesn't believe in the show anymore. Also, Yom Kapoor. So, you know, Jay, putting in his entry, hands down, dropped it, submitted, dropped it, dropped dropped it on this Christina of a time limit. No, okay

She could take all the time she wants damn dude Wow an axe shaped like an axe. I think I thought I was going for Christine's doing the the little kid the cheek on the arm rest on the arm rest. You're on a chin on a wrist. She's digging in there. Yeah, dude. Well, again, there's no time limit. So Christine, honestly, unless we go into another video, she could take as much time as

you want. Draw away, bitch. Can I give you a Christine Shoes already an upgrade on the OG? Okay. Those were tough. Damn. You're submitted. Black Luke, can you get a picture of both of them? Okay, those were tough damn you're submitted

Black Luke you can picture of both of them. Oh, you're wow we're weaker as a unit because of that Damn Wow I always like to I like to my rock stars. I like the consistency of that man. I'm an extra guitar line right? You got back. There's more than one string. That's the next. There's more than one cord, dude. It's a girl for sure. It's a girl.

It's a girl. It's a girl. You didn't improve on the spelling. You just went verbatim. Well, either did J.J. went into the... I know. I'm breaking up J.J. Side by side and we'll put it out there.

By the right. I don't know. Black Lou, if you could take a picture of each picture and then we'll do a poll. Because... Here's the thing I want to know if we don't I would like to see something Christine drew when she was young because your skills have obviously improved Yeah, that's very very very happy you're saying I don't know we don't know Tans she said she made lists like me. That's true. Yeah. I know I want to see how you've grown as an artist I had a lot of drawings. I used to draw all the time, but I was never very talented at all.

You were a dancer. Oh yeah, wanna recreate one of your childhood dances against me? I don't dance now. How far you wanna take this? That's great, that's great. I still remember them. How far you wanna take this? I'll show you.

I'll chase the dragon. Yeah. Huh, huh, huh, huh. I'll show you the style in which. The style in which what? We'd be dancing. the style in which the style on which what we'd be dancing Would everybody cuz he just we had boss an over It's it's more of a room How you guys made with the forbidden dance?

You probably are you guys aren't there six years classical seven tap One that recreated every La Bombamba dance. Yeah, Frank by Frank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two years jazz three years tap two years pole Not conservatory in Russia. That was my thing. I did concerts Why'd put on a tape and I would do concerts with The room or and I had a vacuum that was a microphone stand It's not skill and I did my concert. No, not skill. It was just fun. Yeah, me too. You Yeah, for sure.

Six grade guns. I used to put on my mom's my mom had a busted hoop earring. Yes, I would take it I was squeezed against my ear and it would just be like hurting and stiff as hell. But it look cool. It's So rad. Yeah, can I tell you guys something that's a little devious and gay at the same time? It's just suck off my stuff. Oh, I'm taking a cold-ass and jacking them off. He's a suck-off-nick. I would take my phone.

I liked this girl in seventh grade, Ava. And we were talking on the phone. And I was like, yeah, I know how to play the guitar, and I just put my phone in my boom box. She pressed play on Jimmy Hendrix. Oh, watch out. That's crazy. That's crazy.

That's me. That's the full band. I thought she could be like, by the way, I put my phone back to the ear, and she goes, you get my brothers in a band. Her brother was like a teenager I was like wow, well, he's probably My ex girlfriend was I think it was purple Hayes actually my girlfriend was so stupid actually broke up

I told her we broke up on time I told her that I wrote this song for and I just played it over the phone and it was just Tesla's love song They're a kid lies rule. I wrote this. I wasn't that little of a kid. I was like 17. I was 28. I wrote this song by Tesla. Dude, I told my aunt, still, that I was the Mars town New Jersey tick-tack champion on the skateboard of just going back and forth. And she let me have it. She was like, of course you are. are wow every time I go to my father's in the summer time If I'd go visit him at Ohio I would tell people there about a girlfriend That was just a picture I had of a girl from school by the way The year 10 years old went and visited my dad for Christmas told my high school football scouts watching

Told my alcoholic father He'd be impressed. He's like, okay. Little kid lives. And I have so much sex. I've been laid like three thousand times. Fucking hell. Probably three thousand. I've been laid like two thousand. I'm like two million Simmons. I think I've probably got like three thousand sexes. Did you guys have candy grams in school? What? Candy grams? We have a mango and blazing set. I don't know, like for Valentine's day you could send candy grams to people. Candy grams, candy grams, a mango.

I fake wrote myself candy grams from like crushes, hoping that like older me would find it and like remember it differently. You're still eating those feelings. Damn girl, that set is fuck. Isn't that bad? Remember it differently. You're still eating your feelings damn girl. That's sad as fuck Yeah, I don't some sad shit. Yeah, you're talking about it made a list that said stop being so depressed You know I tell you know, I'd I played your eyes the song gave it to Deanna Brady I know it's her you had to have a fucking you had to have a school assembly because of I told yeah I was a big plagiarizer. I would I would give plagiarized music to my mom as like be like look at this poetry I've written I

Would know I traced I like suck my kiss would be I traced a Bart Simpson Yeah, and try to sell it. I was like I'm selling these drawings for ten cents and this girl Valencia that could draw I was like you don don't, you're not drawing. You're trash, mother. I was like, what's up? I did the same exactly. By the way, two fun caller talks. We have today one for the first. Can I talk to you real quick? You're kind of blowing up my shit.

The first, the first one was what crazy, like skilled you have. Just a real fun skill. A little kid skill, just like a general, like a bar trick skill. Or I think also there should be a little good lies lies it was like lies. 866969, 9669. Just committing wholeheartedly to a lot. I mean you guys know the infamous story of the girl I had a crush on went to the nurse's

office when I was in fourth grade and then I went to the nurse's office and acted like I was blind and they called my mom and to the nurse's office and acted like I was blind And they called my mom and she to leave work and come get me And she told me the emergency room and she told me the story on the way to the hospital Completely blind of the boy who cried wolf. That's why she told me that story and I was like cool by the end of it I was like cool gay story. What a great story watch out Cool story you just missed the parking spot Jay to call myself committed to this role

I was touching I was touching the day-to-day soda dude George could stand alike mom is that you mother Touching your face and then we went to the mother and then we went to the emergency room and she's waiting we're waiting for the doctor and she is If you give you a hundred dollars if you can tell me how many fingers I'm holding up And I was like five I even wait to dude. I've never I've seen my mom get angry I've done a lot of shit that's made my mom angry that specifically in my mind is burnt my mind It's a moment where I was like I am in so much trouble. Yeah, I am in a yard is it? I am in so much trouble and when we left dude

She just talked to her teeth the entire time around the parking lot. Well, I wonder if she got a speech because my toe, you know, Isabelle did that same thing, not that she was blind. So she couldn't see. And when they, uh, when they finally got to a thing like, how about now, how about now, how about now? And it was, she said, yeah, I could see good now. And it was the doctor was like, all right, go wait a little while. I'll be able to talk to your parents for a minute. And then she just stuck her fingers through the holes that she was looking through. And was like, there's no lenses.

And that was just her. This happens when I was with kids. And she gave us such a speech of like, don't get mad at the kids do this. So like, you're like, all right. I was, I think I just moved in with Christine. So this is like, I didn't have a car yet. So I'm like training out to like Parts of like whatever deep queens or long Island to go meet because Isabella says it's a op you know optometrist appointment So I run out, you know, I mean yeah, all that and you're like goes for nothing, huh?

Okay, cool credit on a zip car, but dude Sometimes you get deadbeat dads. Sometimes you get guys that are like it's not coming I know it's bullshit. It shouldn you glasses? Good luck finding me. Good luck finding me, you fucking dorks. If you were like me, I embellished injuries a lot for A sympathy and B to get out of practice. I never had practice for anything. I was like, you're making me think you're a shitty teammate.

What do you mean? Well, now one time I just, I'm like, you're not hurt Andy, are you? We're talking about practice, see you, dude. I didn't want to go to hockey practice one time. I faked like an ankle sprain. And then another time I hated Little League. I hated baseball.

It was like, by the time I got to, they called it Babe Ruth was like eighth grade level. Yeah, yeah. And by the time I saw a curve ball, I dove out of the way. And then I heard like, strike behind me. I was like, well, I can't play baseball. So I wanted to get out of there. So I sucked acid baseball. And I was like, well, I can't play baseball. Yeah, I was saying that I sucked acid baseball.

And it was hard. One day it was like cloudy. And I told my mom practice was canceled because of rain. I faked the phone call to my coach. Wow. So I was like, hey, Mr. Waelin. So, okay, so there's no practice is canceled. Okay, just calling the check.

And then my mom, I was like, so they said practice is canceled. I guess, you know, we're my mom. I was like so they said practice is canceled I guess, you know, we're all but I was really hoping that I would get Okay, well you should I do it on my own now stay home But last time you told me you wanted to see my But then I said yeah, that's You show me yours. Do you know we were doing with Ari on six and jump we were doing fake phone call thing And I'm pretty good at it, but like you got to make it quick if you try to hang if you start feeling yourself and get into look you're gonna start No one cuts off that me senses

Because it sounds good in the beginning when you go. Yeah, I was Huh? Yeah, but I was No, but if you Okay, but I was, no, but if you, okay, but I was thinking we should, now you should, you're not talking to anybody. That's what you have to do is you have to, the trick is to agree with someone, we have to go ahead and do this.

Oh, man, I don't know, what are you gonna do later? Yeah. Yeah, I could do that. Uh, how about fixing it? Well, yeah, we can do that. Would you want to do that? I wouldn't have been able to. The agreement or, just really free people out of go. No, well, yeah, we can do that. Would you want to do that? I don't know if you agree with that. The agreement or just really free people out and go,

no, because I, okay, yeah. Yeah, fucking said okay. So like, what the fuck are we doing here? Well, then hang up, dickhead. What, fuck you too, dude. I don't care. Then forget it, take me off the list. Anyway, no practice.

No practice. And then I got caught at the game on Saturday. They were like, what happened to Andrew on Wednesday? I'm like, you fucking shit at. They're like, your mom, oh she didn't do it to. I thought you guys had a nice long phone call where you cut him off constantly. I thought you wouldn't let him get a word at that time. Did he call you last Thursday?

He didn't get a word next Wednesday. He was like, you were yammering and yammering on about how practice was canceled. He said you're a real chatty candidate. You think you wouldn't shut up and go, oh, it's on. But that's funny when you're on the coach, you're on a fake call on your coach, you do your mommy. No.

No, no, no, no. This guy, dude, you're a girlfriend, right? But only this is really taking that coach at. You guys didn't do that. You guys never really get bailed. I guess they call crocodile tears on little kids, dude. But you never embellished an injury for sympathy. Well, what I did was,

I was already over. No, so I already personally had physical knee problems from getting tall quick. That is not the oscite slaughter. Shinsluens. Oskite. Oskite Oskite, good slaughterers disease. Look it up, Christine.

Oskite Oskite. I know, he's got to see bumps in my knees. Both of us. It's just tendon. Like, it's like tendon basically, from like growing tall. You're just gonna do big for your bridges. Right, so it was a problem trying to play. So when I moved, never mad at all, then it's like,

Is this why you sit down all the time? No. It's a disease, or osg, osg, or a shot or a disease. Is it a condition that causes pain and swelling below the knee joint with a patellar tendon Allies to the top of the shin bone right here dog So It always so my knees when I'd play sports still

These hurt. Yeah, you have to wrap them like our Vita subonus. I should probably do that impression I do what I do compression. Yeah, I do yeah, I have the actual this shin one looks really does look cool When I catch myself in the elevator doors, I'm gonna go upstairs. I'm like damn I'm gonna fall or Straight up But I had that so it was a problem, but when I went that senior year I Switch schools From Philly to South Jersey and I wanted to play football in the football team. They were played before.

Again, going into this believing I was going to be quarterback, tight end or something like that, you know, glory position. No. Turns out it's a feck idea on the offensive line, which I didn't want to do at all. And so I had gotten around a doctor giving me a clear thing to go like, you're supposed to tell them that and you really shouldn't play organized sports with it. And then they go, I got around and then I told you I went to Hell Week, the second the

last day of Hell Week. The second the last day of Hell Week, I just kept like, fucking up. I didn't, you did have to read the playbook, you couldn't just block the person in front of you with turns out. Yeah, you have assignments. There's a whole bunch of different things you might have to do. And none of them involved what I kept doing as in stepping on the foot of the quarterback

and blocking the running back from running forward. I was a problem. And I saw that and I was getting called a lot of things and coaches yelling me, Dan's really hollering the narrator, he's like, who? And so what happened was the next time a guy just like went low on me at all, I just oversold the narrator, he's like, who? And so what happened was the next time a guy just like went low on me at all, I just oversold.

Yeah. And he was like, I was like, oh, and I go, actually guys, I have Oscar Schlauzzi, and then I told him that. And then I told you, there was one teacher, like a young guy. If there was like a teacher was fucking students, yeah, there's them. Well, not that it was him, particularly I don't remember him, other than like I thought it was weird that these young

coaches when the school year started, right after that. I'm like, oh, they're teachers. Yeah. I thought it was being yelled these young coaches when the school year started right after that. I'm like, oh, they're teachers. Yeah. I thought it was being yelled at by like a guy like in his 20s and he's a teacher who looks like he was a fuck soon but he used to literally call me a faggot in the hallways. Cause of that?

Cause of football? Yeah, he wanted me, he's always asking me to come back. So it wasn't even like, he wasn't going to like faggot boy, it was like he was like taunting me. He was like dude, he goes come back and play. We need your body out there and I was like, he was like taunting me. He was like, dude, he goes, come back and play. We need your body out there. And I was like, dude, the knee is like, to be a faggot, man, you're being a,

like, you said it a lot where you're like, all right, guy. Didn't really resonate with me when I was younger. Now you're like, man, you'd be ended right now. That was the case. Dude, we had this coach that was like, he had played football four years before we were in high school. So he was like, not even out of college. I think he was just out of college. played football four years before we were in high school.

He was not even out of college. I think he was just out of college. We went up to this camp, University of Nebraska at Karni, where it was full contact, and they went out drinking the night, and he was still drunk when we had our morning practice, and he had a dip in, and he's like, you guys should be loving this shit like you guys should be loving this shit You guys should be loving this shit. This should be getting your cocks hard

You guys should be loving being out here playing football and then he was playing with grass He can't wait and I were like yo coach, I guess he's last name, but we're like he's fucking hammered because we were already I was already getting fucked up. So I was like you guys Really you and Christine both have this and maybe Lou I don't know about black Lou on this one, but like You had a lot of things. Let's go therapist here We had a lot of adults letting you down in adulthood Cleary younger. I don't mean I don't I'm saying in adulthood We were again you seeing like you said you covering like you drunk like a drunk mom or something with the blankets or her Christine's drunk dad and you're seeing, like you're saying, you're covering like a drunk mom or something like that with a blanket, so her Christine's drunk dad. And you're doing that, it's like,

that's all I would feel like, if my mom or someone's showed that much weak, you know what I mean? Where I was at, I gotta take care of them. I always felt like, no, my mom's got like, you know, she's taking care of it or whatever, my stepfather, my grandmother, I know they're, it's an old lady, my grandmother,

but like she just had it, I assume she knew how to handle the world. No, yeah, it's a, Where did your mom can't move? Yeah, Christianity. Well, that, but that's a disease, that's a different thing. I'm talking about, I'm talking about personal weakness, like, her family.

Well, Christine, I think Christine saw two sides of it. She saw her mom with MS and then her dad with alcohol. Yes, her mother did failed her by getting MS No, but I'm saying like when you grow up like that you grow up and like I'm working on it now where I always feel like I can do something To help I'll tell you what I can sometimes you can't sometimes you gotta let go of that sometimes I can't I can't do anything to change the situation Well, that was very much what our life was me and my dad is that we couldn't do anything to change the situation. Well, that was very much what our life was. Me and my dad is that we couldn't do anything to change the situation. We're basically waiting for my mom to die.

Even though I didn't like look at it that way growing up or know that that was like the end. In my head, I thought my mom was just sick. It didn't really occur to me that it was a degenerative disease. You don't like see it get progressively worse when you're in it every day. What that and going to rehab gave me is a bit of It was a degenerative disease. You don't like see it get progressively worse when you're in it every day. What that and going to rehab gave me is a bit of a lack of sympathy for addicts, honestly. Really?

Yeah, because when you see those two things side by side, like I see my mom get multiple sclerosis and she can't do anything about it. There's no choice she can make. There's nothing in her own hands that will fix it. Yeah, she should have done drugs. And then you have a diction of alcoholism, where it really is just a choice to give up a substance. And so I know that I understand and I'm an addict,

and I understand that, but seeing those two things side by side, you really go like, I'll write alcohol, an addict, and maybe get it together. Yeah, I've never thought mean, see that I never expected. I never thought of that. I'm like not having any like sympathy for that.

You're like, you pussy. Just put down the bottle. One of my favorites out far. I can see there. I can see there being a thing like that. But to me, I said before, to me, the more jarring as a child is someone letting you down, somebody getting sick and passive.

My grandfather was a good example. My grandfather got cancer. It was so fast. Yeah. From him being like the guy teaching me how to play sports and being at my baseball games to like Sick dead. Yeah, like so so I didn't really but I saw him get weaker. I told you that's when freaky I when he would like start talking about my grandmother to come tell me like hey just like agree with him Like he's gonna say things that aren't real and like we'd be watching wrestling and he was talking about how we went to wrestling

Got to go back in the locker room last night and I'm ever being like terrified but go I'm like fuck it dude but I was like scared but I get what I didn't feel that was like a letdown by him I'm saying if I saw Just like I said if I'd like get my my like like nightly that kind of a thing where it was I don't think it wasn't Everything like I'm talking about you. I'm saying in general saying for steen's like it was like yeah It's exactly like covering up your dad and like, you know, putting the cigarette out so the house doesn't burn down. It's like, oh God.

My mom was also so helpless that I didn't actually like consider my dad to be helpless even though he was incapacitated. Like he could still like move around. Kick his ass. I almost, I would never be in a position where Isabel could kick my ass. I was in a, almost in a devious way was kind of like, whenever happened I'd be like well I got that up on her. See you know yeah So I'd be like all right next time because I was a bad kid for a little I wasn't like I didn't I was just like

Shithead, but you're supposed to be able to you're supposed to try to sneak out of the house from your parents that are sleeping You shouldn't be able to walk right out the front door because your parents are unaware of what's happening. I was going away for a week. I would get, I would get, yeah, you know what I mean? Tell your dad he's still a busy shit. I would get stressed by flashcards and go smoke cigarettes.

Jay has this idea too of my dad, like after my mom died of just being like super, I think from what I went through, but I have to say, like I was the queen liar. Like my dad never knew anything I was doing. Everything I told him was alive. No, I'm not, but you're, I'm not correlating this with you. You do that. I'm saying just the general idea that your parents are in,

well, I remember my mom, like they're not going to catch you because they're definitely unconscious till the morning because like they're drunk nightly. I mean, I remember being, I remember being around my dad, like the, the couple of times, like the last few times I saw him, just being like, oh, this is, like I thought my mom, I had like a little wiggle room, I'm like, this is lawless. I can do whatever I want, this is bad.

I remember being told he was old and being like, yeah, like we were talking about Lake County today and I was like, dude, it's fucking bad, but I remember being like Almost desperate for someone to put down any sort of boundary. We ate dinner at 11.30 and I was like Karen Huffie. I was like um This would have been nice four hours ago. I guess I'll have over-salted hamburger helper, but being like a phone cliently something I had so much community in my life that I had a lot of rules Based on other people's rules like I had my two friends Megan and Jack when their parents were like my sir Do co my friend val of the street rules their parents like do co well their parents rules were like you have to be home By the time the street lights come on so we were all the time the street lights came you just go like, I'm going to do that too.

Yeah. Just even off to go work the streets. I hear a, yeah. Black love we've got calls, right? One thing before I forget, because I probably will never tell a story again, but you said about faking yourself injuries, like to get out of stuff. That same football camp where that coach was drunk, that summer we had this guy move from Maryland. I can't put that coach was drunk that summer we had this guy move from Maryland giant white dude who acted black

And he was like six seven Three hundred and fifteen pounds everyone's like this guy's gonna be all his uncle built up him to our high school football coach As like kids do yeah, it's kids D1 so get ready for him He showed up at that camp and sucked so bad that by six seven He was like six six three. He was massive. Everyone called him the big show and then by the end of the camp everyone was calling him the big blow Because he sucked and he just had to add what football. No, but say what was he what were they gearing up for? Oh my god dude our football coach was like you ready for this kid

He's gonna be the same where they gearing up to be a fucking running back or a left-hack defensive lineman all the lineman. No, they're really offensive lineman offensive lineman. This kid's gonna be the same. Were they gearing up to be a fucking running back or a left half offensive lineman offensive lineman. No, they were offensive lineman offensive lineman. Like, this kid's gonna go D1. This kid's gonna go to like Colorado. He's gonna go to Nebraska. This kid's gonna be huge. And he showed up and everyone was like, we met him at a party. He came over to my friend's axe party where like, this is my in between my junior and senior year. How old was he? He was a junior going into senior year. So everyone was like, this kid's got these two late, but I was gonna say if they would have even got him a ninth grade, they could have skilled him up for that. You can't you can't train the size. Right? What's the line? They can't teach. They can't teach. They can't teach speed, but they're

also, uh, you can't, dude, he showed up and had zero athletic ability. But the way that he was telling... AHHHHHANSAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH coach was just like this kid fucking sucks. Really? Yeah, like sold a bad bill of goods and then he never went to my high school. He didn't even come to the school. Dude, I think he was so bad at that camp. You're like, get the fuck out of here. But he transferred to a different high school. Damn. I never saw him.

His name was Aaron, I think. Yeah. Dude, everyone was like, I'm basketball. Dude, our basketball team was fucking sick. There was no way he would even like, there's no athleticism at all. No, dude, our basketball team was like, very There was no way he would even. He's just no athleticism at all. No, dude, our basketball team was like very good.

There was zero chance. I have much more of the mechanics of basketball down than I do with anything football related. All I remember is being at that camp and like, you know, it's hot. It's like the middle of summer and it's full pads. It's just so you're like fucking dying and you look over and I was like,

oh, he looked like this is so cool. I'm just kidding. He had to love me. He looked like, oh, he's staking. Oh Sorry I stay and he's like that day they realized the big show was in fact a fraud Unable to tell us I will I got around him. I was like dude come on. I thought Damn, but he like you could seem you like yo, it was my knee. Oh Yo, my knee's hard. Yo, it was just normal. No, but I loved playing sports.

It was just like, it was a couple of times that I would just fucking be like, I can't do it today. Well, practice. Practice, it was always practice. I loved playing games. I used to always think, because we had to stand, I was in band on the flag team, and they make a standard attention forever.

And I would constantly thinking about pretending to faint to get out of it. I never did it. I would just go for a fucking time. I was at detention. I was like, just faint, just pretend to faint. Well, the only being an only kid too, an only child, for sure. I did, like I said, practice, the only organized sport I really played was baseball. Yeah. I was like 16.

But like those practices I looked forward to, because it was always like you'd be on a team with like, your boys. So it's like a couple of my friends were on the team and also people are just like, there's acquaintances and stuff, but I kind of like the camaraderie, but I really, my mom would punish me. She would punish me from like,

going to baseball. You're not going to baseball practice today. Oh, because I was like, that was, that was, that was, I was an only child. So it was like a, damn, I wanna like hang out with like my friends. I just hockey was my whole life.

I just hockey practices, it's, it's drills. Yeah, you know, it's like it's conditioned. Yeah, we weren't doing like that. Literally our thing was like, Skrag practice and fucking yeah, just baseball. We got some calls of bar skills, but I don't I don't have the call screen. Because we're used to see it. If you would, I don't know where it is. Sorry, we see it. Christine, if you would mind I don't know where it is. Sorry. Let me see. Christine, if you would mind. There we go. What is this? Hand mill? What's hand mill? Sorry about that. Bobby and I always says that he's related to Mike Hamill.

I think he's from Star Wars. Mark. Mark Hamill. Mark Hamill. Luke. I said that was a lot. That was your kid, little kid. Lie. That's a great. It's his last name, Hamill. Hold on. And said that was a lot easier kid little kid lie that's a great is his last name Hamill and said that he comes to Thanksgiving Luke Skywalker That's a great kid lie bring that one up Bobie are you is your last name Hamill? No My last name is Slaven but my grandmother is like cousins with him

So you like us now He's supposed to come to my house and cut the turkey with a lightsaber and Newspapers you became not think oh he's flight actually got canceled I thought I had the four the millennium Falcon Yeah, the Empire I thought I had the four the Millennium Falcon The Empire Turns up palp and he's up to no good I get at it here is Starwing

Star are you D2 got sick so we Grandma is grandma was related to him right Bobby? Yeah, she's he's my he's my grandma's cousin That's so cool so distant cousin you Yeah a little bit of the force in you Yeah, I got molested by uncle Mark Hamill He's gonna put the force in there. Yeah, he put his lights it. He uses lightsaber cut the turkey and he uses meat saber to slice my ass Oh, dude. This is a good one. It's a great one John and Denver. Thank you. I'm out of you Oh dude, this is a good one. That's a great one. John and Denver. Thank you. I bought you John says that his friend lied and said that he won the million dollar Snickers prize like that Who how old are you guys in Eli's crunch?

Got me for about 20 bucks when I was a kid of change going back try to get the other half of the car That not sure what I was gonna do with it at 10 years old if I won this Nestleys crunch car But it was the inside wrapper game. John, day, what's up guys? Hey, how old are you in your friend's city? Won the Snickers Million Dollar Prize. We were, I think fifth grade. Perfect, perfect.

You're like, it's basically like you. We're sitting around the lunch table and he's telling each one of us how much money were each gonna get. I'm gonna get a hundred grand. year's gonna get 50 grand and everything like that and then the next day we're like hey man where's the words that rapper and he's like oh dude my mom vacuumed it up as if like also a great little kid like great little kid excuse well as a little kid excuse because they're not gonna let you change a vacuum

bag and you think when something goes into vacuum You just sucked into infinity God you never thought twice about a vacuum Watch the okay go okay, so here's what's crazy our vacuum is actually an incinerator So when you suck it up, it's actually burned so funny Dice and crematorium John to the ever admit that it was a liar was he just like nah man that was it just got sucked up now we're not a mom this was that he was a fat liar to go lie he was saying that one time for his

birthday you remember how you used to get like gift bag at the end of parties sometimes yeah fun bags yeah grab back one year I don't know why we believe it I guess we're just young but you remember those like multi-colored hats basically like yamacas with a propeller on the top Yeah, beanie hat beanie hats. Yeah, he said he was even though it's out and they could actually fly Off honestly peak out air So I am even a chin strap on it. How tight is this? Y'all my God. I went to, I went to an after school program where there's a lot of little kids and little kids do lie. The little lie sticky weirdos. And I remember all these kids like lie and be like, Oh, I got the new video game system. My dad

drives a Porsche. It was all lies. Oh, yeah. And then we're at the swimming pool. And this kid Justin was new and he's like hanging out and we're just like, maybe eight, nine years old, you know, and kids are lying or whatever. So you're like, you used to hear an crazy shit at kids' mouths and I'm like, that, oh, your parents are, he's like, yeah, my parents aren't married either.

And I'm like, oh, that's cool. Where's your mom? Because she killed herself and you're like, oh, that's not a lie, is it? Yeah, he goes, no, she did it. Yeah, that's why I lie. Yeah, you're like, oh, that's not a lie, is it? No, she did it. You know, that's why I like. Yeah, you're like, damn, so if so, if that is a lie, Jesus, I'd ever have come to Jesus. Have you ever done like the movie, yes, or TV after school special thing of either going into a house of someone you didn't get along with and you had a weird

moment of makeup like where you guys like were cool, or just like a kid that was kind of shunned, everyone thought he was an asshole kid, and you go on the house and you see why it's happening. For sure, I remember, I remember going to some kids' houses and being like, oh, this is why someone's so, and so is a piece of shit that no one likes.

This family sucks. That was probably me. That was probably me coming to my house. I remember this kid Ricky. It's a good name for the kid. He's a piece of shit. Dirty. I mean, I'm talking about dirty ass Ricky.

He was dirty and he was like white trash. But also not nice either. I just felt bad for him, dude. I'm stable as he overall people like would fuck with him. So he was kind of a dick. People would fuck with him. He wasn't a dick. He was just kind of weird.

And he wasn't really, he was kind of bullied. But then he would bully other kids. He was like aggressive wasn't a dick, he was just kind of weird. And he, he wasn't really, he was kind of bullied, but then he would bully other kids. He was like aggressive in weird ways. And you're like, yeah, and then one day before school, his mom dropped him off and she was a straight slut. Like the way, the way she dropped it off, I was like, oh, yo, I see why Ricky is. This is where the aggression comes from.

She's the booger queen and Billy Madison. You're 100%. When I saw Billy Madison, She's the booger queen and Billy Madison. You're 100%. When I saw Billy Madison, that's the first kid that I thought of. She was like, dude, she dropped, it was like an Iroxy and she was like, okay, Ricky and then he was like, and then I noticed that. I noticed, we're four.

Four's great, mom. I noticed that and then when my mom was single, but my mom was like Murphy Brown, she was like an older professional and then he would tell stories about his mom dating and I'm like, yeah, that's that's bad Like your mom's I think he's going to be like my mom's my mom's friend Jake says I can't have cereal when he eats it and you're like, yo That's crazy. They're cereal law when a dude's piping your mom He's got to ask you to eat your cereal.

Oh, true. Here, you can just crush my cereal and pork my mom. Yeah, that's a fucking, that's in the bill of rights. Somebody up back. So we lived on the, on the street behind my grandmother's house. Was a kid that I had a bunch of like,

not getting along with times. You didn't have friends, I got friends that you would not be friends for and then you were friends. Yeah. So I had to, Brian Edelman, I had my like,

I had my like stick together, like always, like long term friends, but there were some other people that would just kind of come and go in like, to friendship. And this kid was someone I had had problems, well, you know, we would argue. I think maybe he was shitty to me. I don't remember.

I wasn't much of a bully at all. Do you know what I mean? I never felt that confident to do that. So it wasn't that, but this kid was like a dick. But one of our times we were cool, going in those houses and sitting there, and just I remember that feeling. I don't even remember what it was,

just seeing his family be like, oh, they're all like weird trash people. That like this kid sucks at school because like his whole family sort of sucks. There was this kid who was kind of weird, and he was my friends with my friend in middle school. I was like, what's up with this family? This family's given up fucking weird vibes

or whatever, and my boy Byron was like, they got a trampoline, you wanna go to their house and jump on a trampoline? Yes, I was like, don't care how you're gonna go. You can kill me if you have a trampoline. You can't. And he's like, it's a good one. Have at it.

And he lived by my buddy and I was like, yeah, do you know what I'm gonna do? I was like, do you know, watching their house and I've never been into a filthier place in my life. And they had a pretty good size house How dirty it was I was like do we this was the house that we used to take Their stepdad would buy them dry ice and we would put it in two litter bottles and then bear it You could turn into a bomb dude

She's just built bombs in this kid's backyard. It was fucking wild. That Aurora culture. I mean it was suburb. It was just a board suburb. Yeah. But man, yeah, I remember that. I had a friend Ben, he claimed he made up Michael Michael motorcycle

turned the key in watching P. He was, I wrote that. That's great. Taking everything was, yeah, you never heard a jingle bells bad man smells. That's me. Kind of, that's one of my earlier joints. John, thanks for calling in. Yeah, taking everything goes, yeah, you never heard a jingle bells bad man smells. That's me. That's one of my earlier joints. John, thanks for calling in.

Yeah, little kid lives with the best here. I would lie so much about being sick in elementary school because I just wanted to get out of class and go to the nurses office. In sixth grade, I started hanging out with my aunt Moana and got a little happier. I got an award for most improved health in sixth grade. What the fuck?

You did not, are that stolen valor I'm gonna stop using it most in the most improved health award That's because I stopped like faking going to the nurses That's so funny. Christine is on the men. I just like my stomach hurts She has rebounded Christine you are thriving. Let's take our last break. We have to do one more break We got a couple a couple of good easy words. I know we'll come back to take them We'll come back if you're on hold just hold a little bit longer. Let's take one commercial break We got a pee and then there's some lies. There's some sex lies in video tapes

Merce-mo We're gonna take a break and we'll be right back This is the bonfire. I mean, he's got a special coming out. Check right this next. Yeah, I'll tell you six. Go stream it YouTube. Thanks to our com. BigGcom. And now back to the bonfire with Big J.O. Chris Inn and Dan Soder.

Man, she looked at things like a stuff he knows doesn't she? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da bar tricks what's a fun bar trick you can do uh Ryan from Milwaukee is both Ryan we have Ryan on the horn? Ryan what's going on? I'm not too much so the bar trick is I've been able to do it for a while the bar trick is I've been able to do it for a while. I can fit about $2.50 in quarters in my belly button. That's a small penis. Is that how you get a gay black man back to your apartment so you can kill them? Is that everybody from Milwaukee?

Only if they have booze. So that's 10 quarters? That and the booze. Yeah, it's about 10 quarters, Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah In your belly button and what do you do all go in sideways? They're not going flat Against the belly right? Oh, no not flat Standing up vertical. Yeah, just sliding it in like a coin slot. I guess are you a larger man Ryan? Can be yeah, it's it varies

that's interesting you can tell your way by how many quarters less you can get your belly but i'm gonna say i'm down to uh... dollar seventy i wish i was a dollar seventy five uh... and then you said you also have a lie i do uh... this goes back to like ninety seven ninety eight pepcy had like a reward eight pepcy had like a reward like pepcy points

that would be in like twelve uh... it's probably that's like the marbara miles out there that's a little bit of the extra i was a pepcy drinker so i remember this yeah are one of our buddies work at a local grocery store and of course he was best friends with the pepsi driver and he claimed that he had enough pepsi points

to get the hairier fighter jet was like the grand prize we have to do it every time i bought it and we come up with a new story of all you know jet fuels too much. I didn't want to get it. Debbie too expensive.

We're going to talk to you about my endless sweatshirts. They're not even letting me in the senior lot yet. It's honest. There's only like three streets I can take off from. By the way, looked up that Pepsi thing where you get a hairier jet, fighter jet, and so funny when there was

the lowest level of things for a game like Maybe you would have free cheeseburger and a free large front or a free large frog goes or you could also and by the way some contests Fucked up like this didn't they give away a house and MTV once like MTV's had some MTV had some I've watched that rock and roll true stories about this MTV had some contest and that gave away As nine shit a a harrier jet Report it yeah, and the guy sued Pepsi because he didn't get it Fuck it, he was like who's gonna trick us much Pepsi to get a harrier Seven million points. They had to give him a Harry or jet.

What, yeah, what was the result of the lawsuit? They gave it to him. Oh, happy the password. You see how much pussy I get with this thing? Can I tell you, Jared? This first off, I've been recruited by several countries to help insurgents. He's like, I don't have a pilot's license,

but I do drive it around the neighborhood. He just checks, he's ever just checks, he's everywhere. There's a guy in my block and Queens in a story I heard he parks his fucking boat hooked up to his pickup truck He moves it for alternate side parking. It's my favorite thing Because you know how Queens that is for him to be like is she birded docket into what oh well I'm not gonna pay for water Dude I swear I gotta take a picture for you guys. It's a fucking big ass fucking boat. 20 footer. Dude, it's not like a fucking canoe. It's a big boat. It's so funny.

It's so funny. I walk by it on the way. Dude, it's so funny. Do you guys see how this guy pulled it off? No. He read fine print that you can buy Pepsi points for 10 cents each. So he paid 700,000 for Pepsi points. He got investors together to get that to get the fighter jet, which is worth more than 700,000. That's so fun. Probably not much more. And what did Pepsi do?

Says they didn't give it to him, right? They go, well, here you go. I guess there's don't go rogue on them. He said 15 Pepsi labels in a check and waited for his jet. He goes, now? We were in their hands., balls in their court. Now we wait. Now we wait.

And one day a half of your shows, you see that, it's just getting hot in the house, everything's like the trees with the wind. The trees, that blurriness of like fuel, like burning off of. You gotta go ahead and hold your hat on. What's this? That is a man here for you. Yeah, he goes hey how many miles are on this thing? He goes it's better just be from the dealer ship to here right off the line If you guys didn't fly carrier to here, we'll have big problem

You better only be 50 miles this thing. I don't want anybody to enjoy rides and bring that back filled up You guys you want to see grandma? Yeah, and he tosses the son of helmet You need that Get sticking it to the prom one The promotion because you be careful when you take my daughter out tonight and then as you're the hair You go hey, can you pull the ladder? Sorry, you got to pull the ladder I I gotta get going. Don't worry. If you win a wacky prize, we see any bogies. This takes fully equipped. Oh my god.

I'm pretty sure they're gonna stay at bay. You go again. You can win a wacky wall walker or five lucky contestants will win a mansion. It's actually pretty cool. We're giving away a brand new PlayStation or a cool surge jacket. And enough points, you get surface to air missiles that'll take out a fully constructed Brontosaurus bones. Oh, what? I don't need that. Tyranosaurus skeleton.

You guys, I just want the new Pepsi giveaway. I got a skyscraper in Shanghai Sky guys these things like 96 floors It's so fucking funny. I want an underground base pretty crazy. I got Norad Yeah, it's like staffed and everything I have all the inside information to the congressional library And a new jetpack. You win declassified. He has won. You guys won't knock any of that.

You guys want to know, I want a full Iron Man suit. I'm fully operational. Oh man. I got a bike. I thought that was pretty good. I got a mud in guts. Yeah. I got a Pogo ball.

What did you get? He goes, a harrier fighter jet. Christopher, bring up the ball. Oh, yeah, that was a Pepsi promotion, there's a wild boar. Yeah, who was that guy you didn't get along with at work? I'll do a flyover. That's anything, yeah. When you pull up to the window,

it's like, his wife's getting changed, no, no. You know, the, the lovers up and down. Yeah, it's like just a slow rise up above the thing goes, God damn it, Jay. What are you doing? He goes you said I wasn't gonna get that fighter jet member I mean that Pepsi wasn't gonna be the fighter jet last time I was gonna buzz your house Ryan at a friend that said they could do it. Yeah, we drink man Pepsi in our house

Fuck hurry. We got to do the third grade bully Oh fuck Harry we got to do the third grade bully Oh, yeah, that's great George George and Houston George you were a larger kid and then your grandmother force you guys that hang out No, man, it was my mom. She like this guy was this awesome tall cool like everybody thought he was cool But nobody else saw that he was a complete dick to me but nobody else saw that he was a complete dick to me. Oh, that's the worst. It looks like you're just being salty. Yeah. Totally.

And so I was just minding my own business every day. And this guy at lunch one day told me he was like a pitcher in our baseball league, like as an example. And he was like, hey, you don't give me your brownie. I'm going to throw a pitch in your head of the game later. And he thought he did. And everybody thought it was just like a wild pitch. I knew he knew, but everyone else

looked like, oh, it's a pit to go away from him. Because his mom thought she could solve the problem. Because heard there was like he was gonna have kids over at her at his house So she called his mom was like hey would you invite George over? So I show up at the lions then oh and I just find myself alone with this kid upstairs George. Why did you go? Why did you go? This is my mom dropped me off. Oh, God, and you're alone with him. And he's like, you know what I do to animals. And you're breathing heavy.

You're fat little kid. Hey, his Craig here. And Ritz me in the gut with a huge punch. And he leaned over and knew that no one ever knew. He just called God. He just starts off with a gut shot. General, it was like an hour and a half into me being there there i just went upstairs to check and see something in my room that i was going to stay in and he comes up

with me in the gut leans over and goes no one will ever believe you wow what a sociopath is he dead now what's going on in his house did you did you peek around the house a little bit see what's going on there because that sounds like something like he's going on the house no back to your earlier stuff when like parents behind the curtain like his dad was a monster to everybody in the house so i can tell that was coming from but yeah he ended up going to uh... jail publicly for a cocaine position later in life

after becoming a school principal of the will style it was pretty often do there is this kid i played uh... you can't principle of the will the police were being a principal. There is this kid I played popcorn and football with. And his dad was like one of the coaches and he would like get the kids pumped before games

and you take his hat off and head butt us in the helmet and we were like, damn, Craig's dad's nuts. And then Craig would freak out. And Craig, he would like freak out. He would have these freak out. He's just getting cows on his forehead, the head but me later

Cool I went to his house once and Craig was like thank you for coming over Please like he was like please don't like anyway. I gotta go. I was like no, please please please You can stay on revving stovetop anything please Jay you're not far off and then now I'm like man Definitely hit no and you were like give off me weird. I'm going home. I'm right in my bike home You fucking pussy. Later coach. You rule coach.

Can't wait to do hit and drills. I'm on my coach. You rule Spartan broad. All right. I got to get out of here. Keep into man the head coach. Oh my god. Damn, that sucks.

I have to go hang out with the fuck. And get punched and then he's like, no one's going to put a book over. What's the sleepover? A sleepover is terrifying. George, you're the man out. Oh, you want that daylight to hit like vampire? No sleep.

Oh, man, it was terrible. I was just praying for the sun every minute. Can I go home now? Yeah. Damn, that sucks. Oh, psycho little kids, dude. What was I ever to sleep over? I didn't want to be a I remember several early.

I remember several where a kid would ask to if I remember one time this kid asked me to sleep at his house in front of my mom and my mom was like, that would be, there's a Saturday night offer. Should make that be a great idea. She was so stoked on you getting at it. By the way, I've done that as a father, and it is funny to see that happen like,

when I was a kid feeling that feeling where your parents are happy to ship you off. You know what I mean? It would be like a carless mom, even just for a thing, it's like, well, if I take her for the weekend this weekend, like I can't get her back to you until like Wednesday, you're like, that sucks,

but I guess we'll figure it out. Have a straight today, Sans Baby, we'll probably like, yeah, we'll get her Wednesday. We'll make it work. You know when's they might not be good for us if you do this could you hold it a flight? What about those she's 18 you might as well want to swing it over for the weekends We're gonna need you again in the weekend because we were the fall really would be better for us We're actually looking to go into test Oh, dude. That was the best when his bells little and Carla be like she goes Oh, we're gonna go visit family and Argentinus stuff again

We really love for you to go. And I'm like, I'm gonna get kidnapped by those fucking gorillas in the woods. No way, she goes, they do have to be able to have money. I go, if they're gonna find that I don't have money, and then they're gonna kill me. So no thank you, take our daughter, and you and go alone to women,

figuring it out, the jungle's gonna kill me. You guys really sound like the reason this jungle. I go, no, you don't want El Blanco? I'm your problem. Both of you about a car line hurt, both couldn't look wider. Yeah, you're like, you speak Spanish. You know, you speak Spanish.

You know, yeah. Oh my God, that was so funny. Anthony's got his bar tricks. He can cut a card, stack a one hand, fold his tongue. Christine just told their tongue. Cut a card, stack with one hand. Is that a good bar trick? I don't know. Dave, Dave kind of looks like Matthew McConaughey.

And he told people that they were related that it was his brother. Dan McConaughey. Dave, you there. Hey, guys. All right. All right. All right. When did you start?

When how old are you when you came up with this lie? All right, all right. Dude, when did you start, when how old are you when you came up with this lie? Well, first off in 97, R.C. Colod had a similar contest and I won their two new, it was six, six. Apache black helicopter. You got it. I did a lot of black.

A lockdown. He goes, oh, he was in R.C. was diet right. Yeah. Chinook. Chinook. Chin look as fucking great. So you how old are you when you would tell people that you were early? Like early early 20s.

I was like fresh out of the military and we're doing a lot of trips to Vegas. And you know, since I was in junior high, I had the cult of sack hairline already. So I already kind of had a similar hairline as Matthew before the plug. Yeah, before he got before he got before he got science up dude plug that can't plug that get plugged up a little somewhere knows you know site thing so a lot of people start telling me I kind of look like Matthew so we knew he had a brother called rooster so we just start telling people like hey I'm as brother rooster and they

believe it so it was just something to always work to learn vague. I mean, you know, someone in Vegas ain't like Matthew's brother and they're drunk. Has anybody has a drunk girl after you hooked up ever come back and been like, um, you're not rooster, McConaughey? Uh, I swallowed your cum thing in your rooster, McConaughey. Now you always go back to their hotel room never years. Oh, it's a mcconaig rule. Can't go back. Sorry. See

my room. Matthew's asleep in all room. You guys room together? I will. We're brother. Rooster's got to wake him up. Rooster goes to the handhouse. He don't go to sorry. For some reason every time they wanted me to call my brother, he is always off to acting somewhere He's filming how to lose a guy in 20 days. Yeah, he's in Bolivia doing days and confused to see the good thing about that You had your buddies to confirm that's when you're doing fake identity and your bagus dudes Not about kind of your brother and some gadgets are you yeah, brother? I'll assume if you meet a gaggle of guys in Las Vegas, you're getting zero truth from them.

Yeah, they are. They've already worked out their stories away from the wives and all kinds of crazy. We're here, we're on short leave. For, we just got here, they flew us right here on a Pepsi Harrier from Iraq. We took the Pepsi Harrier. We're still in Iraq, we're going on.

Don't you understand? There's been bombings from the Pepsi Harrier. How late is it? Is it short leave? It's short, he from the Pepsi Harry. How late is it? Is it short? He has to go out. I thought it was short, leave. Short or short?

That's short. Me too. Sure. I didn't think I was right about any of it. Oh, no, I thought I was an idiot. I was like, I've been saying short, Mil. We're done, dude. I know.

Oh, shit. Dishes are done, dude. We have one more show tomorrow to get all the lead out. Get it out, dude. Andy Fury, we love you so much Mercer. I'm glad I made it past the Jacob cut you did you did fantastic. It's got a special coming out October 6th That's just Thursday check right on YouTube. Give it a go watch it We love you. You're a big J is got skank fest. He's filming his special there after that

He's got Kansas City Miami and Salt Lake and of course Orlando Florida October 21st and 22nd first week and after Miami and Salt Lake and of course Orlando Florida October 21st and 22nd first week and after skim yep big J comedy dot com tickets Dan Soder gonna be at hilarities and Cleveland this weekend That's the six or the eighth after that of course gang fest then Charlotte with Andy Fury Yeah, correct and Nashville Tennessee for tickets and all tour dates good at dance soda dot com Getting down. Yeah, it's a good old. Good old grateful dead. It's just bad subject I just always oh is this a case of yours The story of the frog who farted too loud is the story the fuck

But actually my great uncle not my great uncle was actually in grateful dead. That's really crazy Oh, did he play the vacuum That's really crazy. What do you play? Oh, did he play the vacuum? You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows. Always on SiriusXM! you