The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dumbbells with Robbie Bernstein

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Conor McGregor was trending because several explicit pictures of him were shared on social media by rapper Azealia Banks after she accused the Irishman of sexual harassment. Comic Robbie Bernstein joins the guys in analyzing said pics in which he was performing feats of strength with a dumbbell. Jay questions why Conor would randomly chose Azealia Banks as his target. | Robbie is currently on a "Porch Tour" in which he travels to a fan's house and does stand up from their residence. He is the co-host of "Part Of The Problem" with Dave Smith and Jay gives him a theory that Superman is antisemitic. For Rob's tour dates go to Robbernsteincomedy.com and find him on socials @robbiethefire. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly May I have another yo yo Fat capital the world Oh Mike's on Tom that Tom fucking Berger on what's his name nut Tom Berger on? Damn, I forget the guy who said it. We are back. Who was it? Tom Brennan, Brenneman?

I can't remember his name. The baseball announcer. Baseball thing, when they came back from break, he was on national air and he was like, fag cap, all the world. And they were like, what's that? Where are they, San Francisco? You have to always, it is funny that everyone

will just have to assume he was talking about San Francisco. Yeah. Fag capitals of the world. Yeah, there it is. that everyone will just have to assume he was talking about San Francisco. Yeah, that's the world. Yeah, there it is. Do what you gotta do, give it to him. The fag capitals of the world. San Francisco. I love that he talks like an announcer always though. Hey, you ever been to San Francisco?

It's the fag capital of the world. Everything's presented that way. God, that's funny. He's back though. We are back from commercial breaks to bonfire faction talk series xm 103 the big jokers and Robert Kelly The great Robbie Bernstein is joining us in the studio right now. He's doing the summer porch tour It's fucking every year you're doing this now. Yes, this is like it looks like it's getting bigger and bigger though Yeah, doing like I think 60 of them this year something crazy those dates where I saw the poster

That's all backyard one all backyard. What does it mean when they say private? That means someone booked me to just play for their friends and I just kept the tour dates It looks cool my got you got you got you can I book you to do my tiny house back? Absolutely, I would love nothing more so I could book you to come up to my association and do a show Do you work clean not at all? Okay? Yeah, we can make it happen. Buddy, that would make me so happy. I got a date in New Hampshire. We can... Where are you in New Hampshire? I don't even remember the name of the town. Outback of your cigar

bar. He's got dates coming up in... Whoa. Doylestown, PA. Fun place. July 25th. Brewston Mills, Virginia. West Virginia on July 26th., and Johnstown P on the 27th. You're mobile on this thing though, you jump from city to city. You drive? All one-nighters usually fly into an area and then drive from there, or if they're local enough, it's all hike.

That Brewston Mills last year, I mean it was not just backwards West Virginia. We showed up to West Virginia and we steered off a normal road to a dirt road to then a rock road to then a dirt road, and I'm such an idiot, I had the wrong address. Oh, shit. Oh, jeez.

You find out when you get there by the sound of the gunshot. I could just tell. And I was lucky that I beat the fans there by about five minutes, where cars started pulling up behind me. I was like, all right, hold on. But if I had just been like three minutes later,

I would have gotten a fan shot just by being an idiot. God damn. So is it the same place you're doing this time? Yeah, that one was crazy. I mean, that was like a moonshine party in the middle of the woods. There were, they had like 60 friends that came out. They throw a big summer get together.

There was a band before me. How does this happen? You put this out there that if you- Is it part of the problem they know you're from? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this, do the people like say, okay, they know you're doing this now, so they can say, hey, let's get Robbie

to come out and do it for us, and it's just getting bigger and bigger? Yeah, everyone, people shoot me emails, and then I take a lot of Adderall, and I sift through them. Okay. And then through the power of Adderall, I finally get it all booked and put together.

And you book everything? I do everything. And is it you and somebody else? I have different openers on basically every show. BK Chris has probably done the most with me. I was gonna say, he's already amongst. Yeah, it's different. Cause I like to rotate the routes.

So like if I brought BK Chris on a three day route last year, I probably won't bring him on that route this year. And then the challenge for me is coming up with new stuff to go back out, which sucks. I know, and it's part of the problem. So these are, Bobby, these are maybe a lot of sovereign citizens hanging out at these shows. Are they sovereign citizens?

You know what? I'm supposed to be the one that knows these things. Can you define that for me? Sovereign citizen? Oh, they don't believe that the laws apply at all. Yeah, dude, me and Dave did this gig up at, or we did it years ago, it was this libertarian event, and I just walked by a tent,

and a lady was teaching a class on whether or not you should give natural home birth so your kid doesn't have a social security card and I was just like this is the wrong party for me like I love libertarianism that sounds insane. Oh no yeah it gets pretty wild but I said it seems like it's we talked about on the you'll hear guys hear it on uh Thursday here on the pre-record but about the sovereign citizenship, it sounds mostly like it's just to not pay your debts is what the move seems to be. They just say they never receive anything, and if I don't receive information

that I have to pay something, I don't have to pay it. So they're like, that's why I don't pay my mortgage, and you can't take my house. And then they just do take their house. And then people just, and then they just keep going to court about it, and it's like, and they just yell at court and yell at the judge for doing something that he's not doing it right.

No one takes them seriously. It never goes anywhere. That sounds like one person was just told that at a bar. Like you don't have to pay your mortgage, you just declare sovereign citizen in court. You could be a sovereign citizen if you go full hermit. You just are a sovereign citizen. It doesn't matter if you just hide yourself in the world. stuff you can be a soft they don't give a shit you

but you these people are the people that say it on the road driving and stuff they're saying that because they don't have a license and they're driving so they go I don't need a license because I don't acknowledge your government or whatever it's just good luck with that yeah is this who you're performing in front of? I haven't experienced that yet, but I'd like to invite more of them to my show as long as they'll pay for the ticket, you know?

Remember the words. You can go against, he goes, do we have any birthdays, any sovereign citizens? Is he like, ah, in the back? Fuck yeah, dude, fuck the United States. You should definitely do that. I will say, I don't love when drunk dudes have their guns out.

Oh yeah. Like as much as I'm all for guns and stuff, I'm like, if don't love when drunk dudes have their guns out. Oh, yeah. As much as I am all for guns and stuff, I'm like, if you're a hammer, just leave it in the car. Because you're all for guns, but like, safe usage? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. They just fire them off at a good joke? Oh, that.

You know what? If someone you 70-sammed it, then I'd be on board. Making you dance? So I'd shoot. I thought it was going to be shooting at your feet, making you dance. That was a good one, boy. A lot of people, shirts off during the show. I haven't had that yet either.

Really? I would encourage that. I could get into that. Just a whole audience of Bert Kreischers out there. It's coming. Are there chairs? Yeah, people bring their own chairs. They bring their own coolers.

So you bring your own cooler, you get your chair. Is there a stage? Sometimes, sometimes I'm right on the porch. If we're lucky, we got a porch that's right on the lawn. Oh, I, dude, I have the gear down to a science now. I got free bags with Delta. I got the one bag if it's only, if it's under 50 people, I got two bags if it's over 100.

And then I got- Oh, pounds, pounds. What? No, no, no, if there's 100 people, then I'll bring two speakers. Oh, I thought you said, I thought if it weighs more, I thought you were talking about the, weighing at the airport, the luggage weighing.

No, I just, my speaker system's solid, so like if it's under a hundred people, I'm good with one bag and then I've got a spotlight in there, I got extension, I got this down to a science at this point, after years of porching. Is that what it's called, porching? Yeah, I call it porching, absolutely. He gets to name it, yeah. that's true first one to do it exactly

And it's all what is the do you find there's like? Fan acquisition doing this though, or is it is it just preaching this it's hard like there's no like general public necessarily, you know I'm at yeah people bring out friends and there's nothing I love more than when someone showed up had no idea idea what it was, and they were like, this was awesome. Nice, yeah, that's great. I am finding I have to let people know I'm doing all new material because there's not, I notice there's not enough repeat business

because I think people are used to when people are re-hitting markets. He's gonna do the same exact thing. Exactly, so I'm finding I have to figure out how to share that story a little better. New hour, just put it on the thing. Yeah. Are you doing a full hour?

No, I wish. What are you doing? I do about 45. 45? Sometimes it ends up being an hour from a... So you, so this is, when the sun goes down, is there like a method to that? When the sun goes down, we start to show.

So the way I like to do it is I go with the flow. Because like, you don't want to shut down fun. There's no venue time. So if everyone's like hanging out. Nobody wants to do that. That's what I'm saying. If everyone's hanging out and drinking,'t want to shut down fun. There's no venue time So if everyone's looking at now to do that, that's what I'm saying If everyone's hanging out and drinking I will not shut down fun to be like hate shutting down exactly everyone's thing Everyone's having fun Sometimes I show up and I'm late and everyone's just sitting in their seats like waiting for show to start

That's my wife's nickname by the way fun shut her down I Thought you were gonna say, waiting for a show to start, and then I wanted to know what that show was. That used to be a nickname. Back in the whore days. So it's just go with the flow.

Sometimes everyone's out there, they're hanging out, and so I kind of wait for a lull when it seems like people are starting to take their seats and wait for the show, and then I just hop up and get to it. Now, if you have a hecklerler or somebody who's an ass, I mean you have to deal with that. You're in a private thing. Yeah.

It's very lucky. I thought when I started this I was gonna have a bunch of like douchebag like 25 to 32 year old drunks. The audience is a little bit older, which sucks because there's no sluts. You're not pulling any action on the porch, but I have pretty mature like 40 if you did the house is right there. Yeah, exactly and sometimes I stay there too. So you know is

Ideally, yeah, it's nice. So you'll stay at the house. Sometimes people that hire you absolutely Is that like in the contract like I need a room? Yes in the rider really no No, sometimes people like put out a nice spread for me like sometimes people people are very welcoming They've no one's ever offered you their wife not yet. It's coming not yet It's coming there's been some times where wives have been too flirty for the husband not letting me know ahead of time that that wasn't A problem, and then you got to like navigate that you know have you ever done one where it's all vampires You got to make sure it starts after dark so that, but I've learned.

Invite only. I'll tell you guys a wild one. I've learned I will not stay at Porches the first time. It's gotta be a second time around, or if someone emailed me that they have like fantastic accommodations. Right. Which sometimes they do.

Sometimes these people are very wealthy and they'll let me know they got a whole guest quarters and a slave for me. And I'm like, great. But I had, I did one, I'm not even gonna say where it was, and the host was referred to me by a friend, and he was like, I got a room here, you can stay. I was like, perfect.

Do you say a slave? I'm sorry. Yes, it was a joke. Are all these shows in the South? Some of them are. You gotta, anyways, you gotta, if I have... Bobby, there's no slaves anywhere anymore. What?

There's no slaves anywhere, even in the South. There's that one place. There is that one place. There is that one place. Lubbock, Texas, to name a place. Yeah, you mean Joe Rogan is in it? All right, he might. On that compound, who knows?

He's got a... Oh yeah. That sovereign nation over there. Joe Rogan's compound, you're still allowed to have slaves. He's in the... I'm in the Sphere. He's in the Sphere. There you go.

So Robbie's sort of in the Sphere too. Are you in the Sphere? I'm Sphere adjacent with Dave. the Sphere. There you go. So Robbie's sort of in the Sphere too. Are you in the Sphere? I'm Sphere adjacent with Dave. I've never met him, I've never been on the show, I've never worked at a club, but Sphere adjacent. Maybe you should work his porch. I would love to. Have you ever been hired to work somebody's porch

that they didn't want you there? Where somebody just hired you to do it and you showed up. That would be my favorite show ever. What the fuck are you doing? And the guy knows comedy well enough where he's like, you're only getting paid if you do your time. And you just have some wife that's yelling, like, what is happening?

You know they SWAT people? They just send SWAT to people's houses? It would be funny if we could just pay Robbie and SWAT Robbie people's houses. Send them over to Anthony Kumia's compound, his new place down in South Carolina. While you're at work and you come home and he has a whole light and sound rig set up

completely in your backyard, you're like, what's going on? All right, so that porch, I guess I'm gonna admit where it was, it was in Austin, Texas. So the year before, the two years before, I played across the street and this guy said, hey, you can stay at my house. And I show up to the house and it doesn't look like a well-kept house.

And we walk into the house and he goes, hey, here's the room that I got for you. And he opens up the door and there's no bed in the room. Really? There's no bed, there's dead bugs, there's nothing. And he looks at me sincerely, he goes, hey, I got this room for you. And I looked over my shoulder wondering

if I was like on a prank TV show. I was like, this can't be reality. This guy. I was like, I'm gonna get raped. Yeah, I was like, this can't. And then I thought. Oh, you'll wanna sleep anywhere after I would. And so I pulled the, I pulled the, nah, it's cool.

I actually got a hotel. So then someone else hit me up saying, hey, I got a porch out in the area. And that guy's house had a bunch of airplanes when we were performing. And I was like, great, let's do a new spot. So I booked this spot, which we've now done the last two years. I know, I see you brought LaMare and LaMare Lee and Nate Marshall. I was wondering whatever happened to them.

They're out there. They're still at that place in cages. They're naked. They're starving LaMare down so they can make outfits out of his skin. La Well, they're so funny. He shows up and I was gonna have him go 30 He's like can I go first I can go back to watching wrestling I'm like in their house. Yeah, I'm like if you prefer it But this house ended up being directly across the street from the other people's house and I didn't even realize oh really like I showed Up thinking I'd booked a new location that I wouldn't have to deal with the airplanes.

And I thought I was in the Twilight Zone where I was like, I'm across the street. Oh, and it just kept happening? Yeah, but I guess we just kind of got used to it and my sound system's a little bit better. What is the biggest porch you've performed on? When I, out in Denver, I'll do about 110 people, and that's the biggest porch draw.

Really? Is that Anne Marie and Jonathan? So I've done it in other. Maybe when it's black people in the show, we don't call it a porch show, we call it a backyard show. Just to like, just to not get anybody excited about that when they get up there. Welcome to the porch, LaMare Lee.

You know those guys are all biting lip at that point. So you do these shows, right? And the biggest one was how many? 110 out in Denver. What's the smallest one where you're like, oh, these people just hired me for them? That doesn't, well, I'm of the, you just book it and you let the chips land where they may. But the smallest one I did this year, I showed up and I was like, we shouldn't be doing this.

It was like, it was 10 people in upstate New York. Really? And it was just, last year we also did one port. The thing with those is that they're always in route. That was coming back from Canada and we did two shows up in Canada. So it was literally on the drive home. So it's nothing lost to do the gig.

Yeah. But that one was small enough that it probably wasn't worthwhile. But they pay you the money. What do you get? Well, I just put up tickets, so for the most part, unless it's a private, I just put up tickets. So we didn't make money that night.

Right, so these are people who know you. So this is just building up this fan base all over. Now, if you get there and you see a mezuzah on the door, do you think that the Jews have gotten to hold you ransom for Dave? When I... Look at those, you want to zero me the fire again? When I first started booking them in the remote locations,

I was like, I'm going to show up. It's going to be the CIA. I'm going to feel like it's just over. Are you catching any of the shit that Dave's catching with some of the stuff? Like as far as like, do they put your name in it a lot? Angry text from my grandma. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your Jewish grandmother? Yeah. I had to assume yes. Yeah, a call from my dad of why are people coming over on Shabbat and yelling at me about what your friend did on Joe Rogan's podcast. I'm getting that kind of heat, that's about it. That's the heat. Yeah, that's the heat right there.

Just in house, but you don't see any on the road, like people being like shitty at all or anything. No. If anything, we've had some, our Palestinian draw has grown quite a bit. We've had a couple people with the, whatever it is, I don't know what their... This Jew gets it. Yeah. Well, the first couple of times we saw them, we got real nervous because we're like, we have filthy acts and these people look like they're religious Muslims. This might be an issue.

I would have said that you were being anti-Semitic, but Superman also chose to go with Palestine in that story. We haven't dealt with any of that, but the first weekend I did with Dave on the Road was in Rochester, New York. And we hadn't done gigs on the road because Dave was having kids, so he didn't do like two years of- You're still having to deal with Superman yet?

He goes, no, don't worry, he's fictitious. Oh, Superman? Yeah, the new Superman movie. You haven't seen that? Oh, you see, I didn't get the reference, so I just, I don't, I didn't know what you were talking about. The new Superman movie is pretty heavy-handed anti-Israel.

Interesting. And Hollywood made it? It's very strange. It didn't slip through the cracks, for sure. I mean, it could be anybody, but it's basically the big country that we're friends with is fucking with a little country with little people. And then Superman goes in there

to help the bigger company? It's the people with guns fucking with the people with rocks. No, it's the idea. And Superman, before the movie started, you find out that people are kind of mad at him because he already intervened and went at the Israel people. And even though they're the allies. So Superman is an anti-Semite in this?

Superman is anti-Semitic, yes. That's wild. That's what it comes down to. I mean, I can't support an anti-Semitic Superman. Oh, you don't want to, but I mean, it was pretty fun watching him go around on Passover and burning down Sukkas with his eye lasers. Batman's Jewish, though. Take this, Sukka.

Yeah, that checks out. Batman's Jewish and loves the Jews. That makes sense. Well, he's a billionaire, so. You got all that money. Yeah, he's got the money coming in. Robin's trans. Did the Jews figure out a kryptonite in this movie?

They did. Yes, they did, in fact. In fact, they had to make a man to make kryptonite. They had to make a Jew man. They made an old Jew man. Did you also know that the elemental guy is Noho Hank from Barry? The guy who, the freaky thing he was in the prison cell with Superman Yeah, is the bald guy the alopecia guy from Barry. Oh, that guy's funny in Barry. Yeah, very funny

Yeah, that's funny in this. Yeah, he was mr. Element So I gotta ask you guys. What did the panel think of Conor McGregor's dick? Did you guys already get into this? No, we didn't go around with it. Can we bring it up, the photo of it? Oh, it's already up. It took me, like, a... It's actually down. Well, it's down in one picture.

The other one... I didn't see it up. He's holding a weight up, a dumbbell up with his dick. I didn't see that. Where is that? Conor McGregor sent a... Wait, that looks way bigger than the one I saw. It's big.

Maybe it's a Photoshop, but he's got a hammer on him. Well, he's also a small guy. Very small guy. He has no bush fat whatsoever. No, no body fat at all. No, it is just bone and dick. The guy's got a fantastic penis, Bobby, I agreed. Yeah.

But the story is, he sent this unsolicited, which is bat shit, to Iggy Azalea, who famous. Azalea. I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, Azalea Banks. I wish it was Iggy Azalea. Me too. Azalea Banks, who's not as hot as Iggy Azalea. Azalea Banks, who is the girl who Dave Chappelle

allegedly hooked up with and she spilled that news. I remember in one of his specials he calls her and goes, you loud mouth bitch, you feel my dad tattletale or some shit? So she's already ratted somebody out before. Yes, and he sent this picture and he sends her, she views it as a threat that he wrote with it, which is sort of, it's a loose one.

He goes, don't be a rat, because all rats get caught. What is that, what is he saying? Don't tell people I sent this to you. Don't fucking put this out there. So he wanted his big hog on the internet. Yeah. I guess, I mean like. It's a good way of looking at it.

Is this real? Because this says me and Conor McGregor have been sending each other unsolicited news since 2016 hello I is that that's not real right? This is not I do wonder Where is that on the fluffed upscale like does he have a bad erection that it doesn't that it just still hangs erect Like is that hidden fully erect or is that just hang?

You're saying does he have erectile dysfunction problems no, so that's him erect, but it doesn't get all the way up. Yes No, no, no, it was hanging it was hanging that sideways one where you saw without the censorship was hanging if you find this uncensored The other one it's got a dumbbell attached to it, and he's holding it up in the air That was what the other picture was but it had a censorship thing over wait He was able to lift the dumbbell with his penis. Yes. He was just hanging it from yeah I don't think he was able to saying he broke his penis He had a good penis and then he hung dumbbells from it possible I'd say his foreskin looks like it comes four inches past his dickhead, which is strange. I

Don't enjoy that a little dumbbells on hanging off my penis in my lifetime, too Couple of dumbbells hanging on my penis now my lifetime too. Yeah, a couple of dumbbells hanging off my penis. Now his dick, the thing that ruins this for me, is that helmet, that Irish European foreskin stinks. It's so baggy at the top. Oh, it's fucking gross. It looks like an alien. Like there's so much skin not touching dick. Can you zoom in on that for us, Christine, please? Christine, please?

Enhance enhance it sector for CF enhance Zoom in now enhance. Oh my god. He trims is all of it Now that looks like you know what it looks like a cigar like a lit cigar like a delicious cigar It looks like a Connecticut wrap delicious cigar. Beautiful, delicious, salty cigar. The front of it looks like when in the newspaper you see the pictures of dust mites.

It does, I think it- A microscopic animal. It looks like somebody cut the head off a chicken. Like that's chicken neck that's hanging. It's big though, it is a big, big schnoz. No, the guy's got a wallop, for sure. He's got a wallop and I don't understand why he would hang a weight off it though.

I mean is he doing- Well he shouldn't have impressed a black woman. Okay, I apologize, you know what? There you go. She's seen big dicks before, you have to now prove it can perform feats of strength. It shoots a bow and arrow in the next picture. Yeah, absolutely, he's doing all kinds of goofy Irish shit.

He uses his cock as the bow. Yeah, he fucking hits an infield home run. He plays skeeball with it and gets a 350. He sets the high score. He mini golfs. He whack-a-moles and gets enough tickets to buy a boom box from the fucking front store. God damn, keeps that push here down low too, huh? It keeps it nice and low because he's got that V, that arrow dick ab that just points to his cock. Still, but I would keep a little more fur up there. I would have the dick ejecting from the fur. From the fur, like the bushes.

Yeah, I feel like the shaved dick, even when it looks its best, still looks stupid and weird. Yeah, in the old days, it looks terrible. Shave your balls, for sure. Shave all around. But there should be, Justin Silver does it right. The guy keeps a nice thick bush around his dick and that's it. The rest of them is bald like a dolphin. Well Justin has a lot of help at the farm. Sure. Looks good and what looks bad. Absolutely. He goes to a pub stylist would be my guess.

But if you shave it down that low don't you get nervous just about you're going to have the chick razor bumps that's going to look like an STD? Especially with red hair. Razor bumps? I would, the fact that I'm just pasty under there completely is going to look awful. Yeah.

Is actually a tattoo you forgot about? Oh, yeah. My high school boyfriend's name? Rich. It says, aw. Rich. It says, aw. Rich Osborne. In script. When I was trying to find that this morning,

and it was funny because I started my day, I thought I was interviewing this guy named David Stockman. He was Ronald Reagan's budget director. And I woke up early to start reading his recent articles. That sounds fun. And then he canceled on me. You're not getting post-ED shows. Yeah.

Yeah. You're only, uh, you're only selling, uh, porches. And then he canceled on me, so I was like, all right, let's start prepping for part of the problem. Let's see what's in the news. This was the first headline that came up, and then I spent the next hour trying to find his penis. Uncensored.

Yeah, and then I was just looking through all the gay porn, wondering porn wondering what's the time limit on finding celebrity penis before you're now just being a little gay. 32 minutes. 32 minutes? Yeah. Well, what does the algorithm think?

That's the answer. When does the algorithm start shooting you other pictures of dicks you're not looking for? Because it goes, well listen, you clearly love dicks. Immediately. There was a lot of- I was trying to find it today, too And it just came

Cox Other cop you guys named Connor Mac something yeah, I've showed their cop. Yeah, dude I was down a cock rabbit hole this morning, and I just put it in the text some company somebody find this I'm gonna fucking kill myself right now. That's the way I feel. I was like, I need a producer on this. Yeah, you need a producer, a cock producer. Did you see his ESPN shoot where he's naked? No. So that was another thing,

because then all of a sudden I'm sifting through the ESPN pictures where you just see, and you're like, man, this guy's got a great body. And you're like, all right. That is one where he's in his bed after a fight or something. He's just, he's covered his junk with a Xbox remote. He's playing, there's so many pictures of him with his shit almost out.

Do you ever see the outtakes of the, you ever see the Ronda Rousey outtakes from the ESPN nude? And she has those beefy lips. Oh, you can see her vages? Oh yeah, the uncensored ESPN thing has her beefers. Did that leak? I don't know, I mean, they're professional pictures. So I mean, and it's definitely the picture that's.

That had to leak. I don't know if it's, we could find out the whole thing's made up, but it's the exact picture that they show the rest of it that's not her pussy in ESPN. Roast beef ridges are like long and flappy. No, like muscular, so like shredded pussy lips. Do you know what I mean? Like, they're very defined. I don't think she has inside baggy lips at all,

but the outside lips have, like, they become lips almost. Like, they separate from the body. They almost purse. Too much creatine. Purse. They purse pussy lips. Christine, did I vamp enough long enough for you to find her purse pussy lips? I'm having a trouble finding the uncensored with the weight and her but this is like

Too many words just a ronda rousey nude Ronda Rousey batwing a nice puss Right exactly type in ronda rousey pussy They go show the fight where she got kicked in the head. Yeah, what a pussy. Um. Is that it, right there? Yeah, that's it right there.

It's not bad. It's a tattoo, the Olympic tattoo she has. Oh there, right there. Is that it? Yeah. Oh my God, it looks like somebody doing, like covering their thumb, you know, when you're taking your thumb, like look at,

when you do this, that's what it looks like. It does look like that. It looks like Arnie Lang's nose. That looks like you're gonna have to wrestle it to get in there. Arnie Lang's nose. It looks like you're gonna have to wrestle it to get in there. Arnie Lang's nose. It looks like she's getting ready. It looks like her pussy's like, her clit comes out far.

It's all slanted to the R right, her left. It looks like a baby anteater. It's strange looking. It almost looks like someone's finger and thumb is already around it. And there's like a little line, like a rainbow, like a dark rainbow. See that?

I do see that. What is that? That's the outline of the bonfire logo burning the screen. But that's. Yeah, it is. It's such a little. Wait, did she took this photo?

No, it's not. Yeah, she said it on a timer. No, it's ESPN. ESPN took it. Oh, she took the picture, yes. It looks like somebody kicked her on the left side of the vagina a lot. She agreed to the picture, for sure.

But it is a slant to the left, and it's just, that clit's just poking out so weird. It looks like, by the way, it also looks like a side view of a thumb. Yeah, like this. Like a thumbnail. It looks like her clit's a thumbnail. Look at this, it looks like this right here.

Look, ready? Like that. Yeah. That's what it looks like. Yes. It's like when youits a thumbnail. Look at this, it looks like this right here. Look, ready? Like that. Yeah. That's what it looks like. Yes. It's like when you're doing it. It looks like my childhood nose. When you're taking the,

when you're doing that magic trick where you take your thumb apart, it's just the thumb part. Wait, how do you do that? Well, no, it's also your, it's. I did magic, I went to magic camp. It's your grandpa's nose, when your grandpa takes your nose off.

It's right here, I got your nose. Oh, wait, give it back. I'm gonna throw it on her pussy. Oh, shit. That's magic right there. You should go to America's Got Talent with that. Now, I got to say, if you had the opportunity to hook up with Ronda Rousey, that would be world class.

Absolutely. But if I took off her, I'd be like, I think I need instructions here. No, listen, once you get down there and she spreads her legs, it all turns into a normal looking pussy. It's just her. She's so muscular and clearly like she got shredded up for this, you know,

she doesn't walk around like that. I mean you gotta figure it out, like a hellraiser puzzle box. But once you get in there, you're fine. It's a, yeah, it's a real, Oh boy. It's so like, it's a dehydrated pussy. Ah, you gotta put water on it, like beef jerky? Yeah, it's like astronaut pussy.

Yeah. It's like astronaut, astronaut ice cream, you have to hydrate it. You have to lick it and spit on it and it jerky? Yeah, it's like astronaut pussy. Yeah. It's like astronaut ice cream. You have to hydrate it. You have to lick it and spit on it and it becomes your regular pussy? Yeah. Like those little fish that you wet and they become big fish? It looks like her pussy's been vacuumed up to her body.

Like there's nothing between pussy and pelvic bone. Dude, that is a, that's a weird looking pussy. If I saw that in life, I'd be like, yay, yay, yay. Oh, dude. Easy come though, I bet. Her clit lives on the outside. Easy come. No doubt. Looks like she had surgery on her pussy.

Like, she got kicked or something happened, some kung fu accident back in the day. Oh, you think someone chewed it off her fucking left pussy? Yeah, yeah. I think her master, her master said, I must take this. You will never succeed if you have a leg in a pussy.

Cuts it off with a fucking... Yeah. It looks like she just needs to, like, adjust her left lip a little bit. I think that is a... You will never succeed if you have regular pussy cuts it off with a fucking Just her left lip a little I think that is you're not wrong about that, too I think she's on she could pull the beef out of the left part there It is like her leg caught it and I dragged it up Another pussy another pussy is there another put picture of her puss This is there another post pic like school. There was a couple more, there has to be one more. She's doing a great job with her pubic hair though.

Yeah, it's trimmed up. You know what? I will say, again, you see, it's all follicle. I don't like that. I'd rather have bush. He doesn't like the root vein. You're absolutely right, I don't. I don't want to see where hair is going to grow.

You either have to be a person who gets that skin that goes totally smooth bald, or you should grow a little bush. I'll let you just pull it up. There it is. Look at her asshole. That's not her. That's not her. So everything's showing up.

That is her. That's certainly not the thing on the right. That's not her. Oh, is it AI? It's probably AI. That's AI. That's not her. Because it has her tattoo.

I think that was the only one that came out. It was like one outtake of that photo shoot. And, you know, she's got a little weird pussy. So now he's showing his dick to this girl, and she, so she ratted somebody else out before. Well, she said she fucked Dave Chappelle. She fucked Dave Chappelle, ratted him out. Yeah.

And then he sent her this thing, thinking they'd probably send it back and forth, then he ratted him out. I don't, Black Luke, could you guess why her, I mean, she's not, not, I mean, they can make her look super hot and stuff, but I mean like she is so dime a dozen forgettably Attractive as alien bank. Why her for real and you can see in the picture. He's never messaged her before Yeah, yeah, cuz it says like it says except it's except

I mean if I had a schlong like that though, I wouldn't mind sending that around or some DMS. That's just cold calling I'd send it to everybody. Well, I also will say this. Conor McGregor is... For you for your birthday, Robbie, I'd send it over. And I would go, Robert, that's a great piece. Thank you for sharing it with me. I'd let you use it for promoting your porch tour.

He's so out of control right now, though, Conor McGregor. Yeah. He's been really... He just went bare-knuckle fighting. They said he showed up all fucking whacked out there. Well, he actually put it on. One of the guys said something about him

and he got in his face. Yeah. He was like, I fucking made you, you... Oh, he tells me, he goes, maybe if you fucking beat so and so, I'll take a look at you or something like that. But until then, you're mine. It's like, dude, fuck off. He's doing his thing, but I'm saying,

he's a little like fucking out of his tree. He said he came all coked up, is what the reviews on that, he's very coked up. So he's all fucked up. He's running for president. Making bad decisions. But again, that bad decision may have been, you're right, let me send this to a tattletale

who will get my big fat dick out there on the internet. Now it's not my fault. Not realizing it looks worse to you just unsolicited send dick pics off to people. We should send our dick pics to her. We should. See if she doesn't send them. Yeah.

I go, don't be a rat, because rats all get caught. But, um, please don't show anyone my wiener, please. Yeah, so I'm gonna write, I'm gonna write, please don't show anyone my wiener, please. I'm gonna please on both sides, like I'm speaking Spanish. I think the lady had that incident with the bathroom that he got in trouble for and then got let off her. I think she was pretty dumpy looking too. Yeah. So I don't think he's too particular.

Azalea Banks isn't dumpy looking. She's not dumpy looking. She's pretty, but she's just like, for him to pick her of just so randomly every, even if it's like a, you want to say it's like a hot black chick, there's just so many that you could probably reach just as easily for him, you know what I mean,

to send that dick pic to. Weird that it was her. It's like, why is she on his radar? She's not even like a popular musician. She doesn't have like my hit songs I'm a right so she's trying to get it out there. Well, he's like, but this is a chick who Did it made the whole thing about Dave Chappelle that she'll tell but why wouldn't you if you have a circumcised dick and it's big like that? Why would back pop pop out the helmet and give us what we want? Because he comes in on a place where no one's

complained about it ever because he's Conor McGregor and also he's also gotten American girls who like that because it's a different thing. It's a different weird European dick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a Lambo boat just that's a better opener Yeah, hey you want to hang out on my boat that is better than that because every dick's big on a boat This rat that's her look What I'm saying they can make her look like she looks plenty pretty in some place, but there's nothing that's like

Where it seems like he can take something to make himself like for this, unless he wants to be known for this. If he really was hoping this would not happen, then why pick this? If you're gonna throw it all away, throw a Hail Mary at who your real dream girl is out there. You know what I mean, whoever that may be. It's definitely not Azalea Banks. But it's the same broad.

Chaos is attracted to chaos, I think. Maybe, maybe. How is that her? Yeah, she did some nude stuff. And again. I would have sent it to Rosie O'Donnell. If I was gonna do anything, I would have sent it to Rosie. Like, yo, you fat tub of shit, look at this fucking hook.

This is in your drawer next to you, you fucking piece of lard. Yeah, I'll send Rosie O'Donnell my dick pic and go, welcome back to heterosexuality. Yeah, yeah. This is what we go over here in Ireland, you fucking tub of shit. All right.

She got titty implants. This lady is attractive. I don't understand the erotic milk photos. Well, on her black skin. If you send this to Rosie, is that assault? Is that sexual? Can she get in trouble for that? Because she sent it to this girl and it's fine.

She's just ratting him out. Well no, we're just paying it forward because he's over in Ireland sending dick pics to our American black women. We are over here in America sending dick pics to that now Irish Lesbo's over there. She left the country. I think he could probably just wrong number it.

Oh yeah. Oh shit, this is Rosie O'Donnell. My bad. Sorry babe. Sorry, I was trying to send this to roses Rosie O'Donnell my bad. Sorry babe Sorry, I was trying to send this to a different O'Donnell Damn dude nice piece What a way to what a way to end the show Says lifting weights, why would he lift a weight with his cock? Is that just to show the power of his dick? Because you can?

I mean, can you? I don't know. I don't think he can. You don't think so? No, you have to get a hard on that goes up and brings, like, does a curl with your cock. One time, Christina almost fell onto train tracks and she was falling back. I put my wiener at it and she grabbed it and was able to save herself from falling on the train tracks. She had to suck your balls so you'd get high?

Jay, stick a finger in your ass. You like that? Yeah, unfortunately she had to do a lot to get saved that day. And then she wrote, yeah, how are you going to send a bitch some crooked dick pics, then threaten her to not tell? Do you know who the fuck I am? And this is Haram. I like that Connor's advocating for the crooked dick community. No, no doubt. Do you have a crooked dick? Oh yeah, I could stand here and pee there.

Really? That's a straight up elbow. What the fuck happened? Too many weight lifting, you know? Yeah. From the corner. Trying to get shredded. From the corner.

Robbie Bernstein, thank you so much for hanging out with us, man. Hey, this was so fun. Robbie's on the porch tour. Yeah, very interesting with us man. Robbie's on the Porch Tour. Yeah, very interesting tour man. Go check that out if you can. Got some dates coming up. Doylestown PA July 25th.

Brewston Mills West Virginia on July 26th and Johnstown PA on July 27th. For tickets and all tour dates visit porchtour.com. There's 60 shows. So look for a porch near you. Bobby Kelly, go to punch up that live slash Robert Kelly He's gonna be at the Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine July 25th and 26 and then indefinitely no I'm going there for Friday and Saturday thinking about setting up permanent residents as long as you keep selling out shows He'll keep performing fact that I'm not sold out in this bit still going on fucking makes me sold out

You are sold out. Am I yes, I'm sold out and this bit still going on fucking makes me you're sold out you are sold out am I yes I'm sold out yes oh there's no it's small yeah okay you're sold out so he has to add show but check by the way but check but if you if you're thinking about going through those original two dates check that they're sold out before you move on but then they will open up for the 27th I'm not you know, no, I'm not there But he's also has to do Rochester Tampa and EMA EMA SPA for tickets and all tour dates go to punch up that live slash Robert Kelly and go right now to big J Comedy calm because he's gonna be in Tacoma Comedy Club in Washington August 1st and 2nd then the Comedy Store in Los Angeles for Story Wars the 4th of August and the 5th.

After that he's going to be in Punchline Sacramento the 7th through the 19th of August for tickets. Just go to his website bigjcomedy.com or punchup.live slash big j okerson and go to his YouTube page youtube.com slash at big j okerson for his two specials. They them. It's up there now killing it And we'll see you guys tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. We have Roy wood Yeah, we're gonna hold bunch of people maybe some other people gonna pop in before we hang Would hang and then and then who time the chaos Bobby gets its chaos I get my chaos I get my chaos on stage and I get my chaos off stage.

We'll see you guys tomorrow.