The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dummies In The Wild (feat. Dan Soder)
Episode Date: December 5, 2023Our sweet boy Dan Soder returns to discuss cult documentaries, the Soder podcast, and the last Kiss concert ever! ...
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I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson.
We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast.
For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app.
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And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly.
What a show. What a show.
What a show.
What's up everybody?
It's the bonfire.
I'm Robert Kelly, Big Jocoson.
The crew is all here and we have a very special guest.
Dan Soda.
Wow.
I was going to wait until you told me.
Dan Soda. Dead soda. Oh, wow. I was going to wait and do it, Tom. Dead soda.
Who will love you baby?
Who will love me?
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please.
Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Bobby Kelly's in business. I'm loving you baby, you will make for loving me.
Check out the Jackets by Bob.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy.
I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. comfort zone. The show has become very singy since you left. And I knew it was made that way.
It's brought back to this point. When you emailed me a list of instructors to get my song voice,
I knew it was going to run. We're very Broadway, very gay. I said, none of these vocal teachers fit my
range, Jay. And he said, you will learn.
I don't like it.
Every Wednesday our show is all musical.
Hello, Bob.
How was your yesterday?
Yes, it was good.
How are you?
I'm doing well.
Get ready for my flight to Houston, Texas.
Max has cubes.
What?
You just go right to Max's cubes.
That's how you go to do it.
We have to sing it.
That's what's going on. It has to be sung it that's what's going on to be
sung that's what was going on that day this this weekend was fucking great
telling me baby 49ers 42 Eagles 19 yeah this weekend had its moments Saturday was
tight Saturday was Saturday ruled that's what got Bobby in the fucking rock and roll Hall of Fame memorabilia game.
I just put my chair down by accident or I made it do that.
So I can feel powerful.
My foot's deck.
My foot's deck.
Dan had the weather a couple of snippy.
Friend to friend text.
You're a friend to use something right now.
Face to face.
Yeah, you were phenomenal. Yeah, come out of the way the way I
Last year
Bobby we understand you're in the little chair. This is my foot stuck Bobby
Bobby my foot stuck
Bobby what's happening over there?
My foot stuck at you fucking yapping assholes that haven't seen each other a while. I like what you're doing cut
Yeah, I like what you're doing your monkey wrench in the works of a convo
each other a while. I like what you're doing. I like what you're doing. You're monkey wrenching the works of a convo. One time I like it. I swear to God my
first. Bobby, I hope every time me and Dan start sinking into something that
you get tangled up in something. Guys, you're stuck in the computers. I'm not
stuck in the computers. When I was 10 years old, we had a cat that I didn't like.
When I was 10 years old, I heard a cat make a noise. I've never heard sense where
I was like, and I went and his foot was trapped in our kitchen our kitchen chair and he was hanging upside down by his foot
making that noise. You just did that in human form.
I did. My foot was stuck and you two assholes are just
you living through old time. It was actually never so
like yesterday. That's old.
You know what? Yes today.
His history tomorrow's a mystery. Well, we have to go way back
to Saturday talk. Kiss. Oh, we have to go way back to Santa Raita kiss.
Is this white goat, white goat tea, Bobby?
Say it, Bobby.
Bobby the Grey.
Oh, he's a sage.
Yeah.
I, he goes, it's not dude anymore.
It's Mr. Dude, I'm a sticker.
Dude, sir.
I can't, I think I'm gonna let it grow.
I love it.
Do you like it?
I fucking love it. I don't know if I like it. I'm, I'm past the itch thing. I I love it. Do you like me fucking love it?
I don't know if I like it. I'm past the itch day. I'm fucking love it. You know
I actually combed it today and I if kind of I felt really like mature you look how does hell do I
With the glasses on you look really do look like a music producer. I thought we're gonna we're gonna go to a friend and get it died
No, we're gonna die ourselves. Oh, we're dying in a cell.
I'm just for men, remember the idea?
Yeah, just for men.
Just go black.
Fucking one day, she'll get black.
And never acknowledge anybody.
Bobby, will you jet black your eyebrows too?
I have to.
I'll do my eyebrows.
I'll do my go-t.
No, we just do the facial hair.
I should do my eyebrows.
You should do my eyebrows too.
Yeah, I'm gonna look like an alien if I have eyebrows if I just do I browse too
I'm not dark do are they yeah, do you like my eyebrows? I do I do
Yeah, come on. I don't know are we going jet black? Yeah, she go jet black
You guys you go Dracula black like two fucking magicians
jet black. You got your Dracula black like two fucking magicians. Oh my god. I want you guys to look like the extravagant Jay and Robert. Josh Adam Myers does that. Oh yeah. Have great for a while
and then it'll come in with Jerry Lewis. Blood jet black. Oh yeah. Well now he's doing his
the mustache. He goes his crazy. I was on to jelly roll and I found the found me. What he does now
with the sip is sip. He does. He does the mustache in the soul patch and the beard is
Rest of the beard. He's Hollywood Hogan.
Josh and a Myers for life. He does
Sings on comedy.
Life.
Bounce on
Bounce.
Bounce.
He does
Scootin' the bat.
A wet.
Oh my god.
He does the B he does the mustache black and everything else is
He does the inverse Hollywood Hogan. Yeah, that's crazy. I kind of like it though. It looks good, right? Yeah
Back pulls it all he's a handsome fella. Jay before we get to yoked like action figure. He's jacked. Little he man
Before we get too far away from it
Your response to the 49ers Eagles game was very good.
And it made me more embarrassed how I reacted
to the championship game.
Because I was like, damn, J was really fun.
When you go, J had a funny line where he was like,
what was the spread?
49ers were a favorite two and a half he goes,
well, at least they covered.
Yeah.
Even the time I voodoo, I voodooed your 49ers.
It was one of the worst playoff experiences in my life. I called them up and I it's got boom boom boom yeah, blah. Oh, you spoke light language. I spoke like
Yeah, you spoke the light language. You spoke the light language that I couldn't reverse it
I spoke the language of the girl from the garden. Oh, no, that's the garden
What is that? Oh, that's the light language is a mother mother love bound
Oh, dude, that's my favorite part of the whole document
Which is if you guys know my I'm gonna speak in a
I'm speaking one of the cultists. That's the garden. It's not the garden. It's the garden
It's 100% the garden
As a guy that studies I'm mixing them by I mix them both up to but this one is the mother love bone
The girl who's given the fat guy massage. Oh wait, it is the garden. Hang on one second now. Let's see if he's alert
Let's see if it works.
Jay. Yeah, go ahead. No, sorry about that. No, no, no, no, no, no, Jay. What's the garden? Wait a second. Wait a second.
Well, Jay's learning how to apologize. I love this.
She hang on. Jay, you're wrong. I was right. Yeah.
No, Jay. Yeah, Jay, you were right. No, I was wrong. I was right. And you were wrong. I was wrong. Right. Okay., you were right. No, I was wrong. No, I was right and you were wrong. I was wrong. Right. Okay, so you were right
Yes, what? No, no, no, no, look at me. You can't look at Dan and say sorry. Sorry
Look at me. I said better be moving. Jacob. I'm sorry about that.
Jay, Jay. I'm sorry. No, just look at me. Look at me. Look at me. You got you were right. You got this
I was totally wrong you okay you are and wrong no no no you are
Jay
Jay was wrong no Bobby was right no no no no no sorry
Jay was wrong. Bobby was right. No, no, no, no, sorry. He does get it in right when things he like gets it under the wave So it doesn't count throws it away. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no
What are you guys? It's I just I'll be you you be me. Okay, Bobby. Yeah, I'm sorry, bro. You're right
Yeah, I'm sorry, bro. You're right. Does it? I think I'm hearing the same thing that you're saying no you're going W and
these things I think I'm hearing it. I think I'm doing it the same way.
W is no Bobby. I'm very sorry. Wow. Wow. That was good. I will not show
saying I will not show Dan any sign of dissension in the ranks here. Everything's
going great and I apologize not of people.
Sorry, Bobby.
I love you, Jay.
I love you too.
Wait, you guys aren't talking about love as one
in the garden, right?
We're talking about the garden.
The garden.
It is the garden, and there's a lady.
What are you doing?
Why do you keep touching it?
I'm doing the wrong button.
Yeah, like we can see that.
I've been sabotaged.
I think Dan came in here and sabotaged my day.
Please, sabotaged.
You know what, Bobby, get up real quick. I know this sabotaged. I think Dan came in here and sabotaged my hair. Please, sabotaged. You know what, Bobby, get up real quick.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing.
I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this long time. I mean, he's smiling. I gave him a piggyback right into the studio.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
They do this every time.
It's the most, it's the most that Jacob has ever smiled.
And I mean this.
Since Gangfist, when you walked onto that stage.
I mean, what do you say?
It's an unbreakable bond.
He lives in pure misery until the next time he sees you.
Well, you know, it's not.
There's a reason I'm in his phone
is light of his life.
So there you guys are.
I can't find Dan's number here goes,
oh, it's under L.
L-O-L.
L-O-L.
Why not?
Why not?
I take the M out, because it just makes more sense
because he's so fun.
No, I'm a conger.
It's a double of conger.
The card.
Look at Jacob is glowing right now. I did send it. Bobby, the card, look at Jacob is glowing right now.
I did send it.
Bobby, why you, what's up?
You watch the garden, are you asking for your correct?
I watch a garden.
Dan, you have not watched the garden.
No, what's the garden?
I've watched 20 flames of watch mother of love,
or love is one.
Have you watched,
I'm halfway through love is one.
How funny is that?
The angels,
the angels are Robin Williams and other random celebrities.
Yeah. And then she says Robin Williams and other random celebrities.
And then she says Robin Williams has stuff to the people.
Robin Williams talking shit to cult members might be the funniest thing of that whole documentary.
Oh, but they wouldn't say anything about the way they go.
They thought, pick.
They said, you're from, Robin says you're fat.
Robin Williams says you're not bringing the right energy.
He talks to all of them.
Yeah.
I love those crazies because they're just, they stick to it the whole documentary they'll get a lot of the don't wake up out of it the two
honest girls original well don't ruin it for bobby
but to the cult members are still in it the whole way through where you're
like you know that it wasn't
you know it ends yet they're still like fighting the good fight they're like
anyway she ascended colossal but didn't turn you blew out of what you think
that yeah and uh... what if they're right?
I had that exact thought what if Robin Robin is
Why killed myself I had to go talk to these people for no time. I was him
Just robbing Williams I believe it more than a young Rodney danger field
Well, it's funny rock about Hunter
Well, you know, it's really. It's a rock about Hunter. He, Verwin.
Well, you know what's really funny is she says her two top
angels were Robin Williams in Saint Germain.
So every time she says Saint Germain, I would just do my
dance in Germain impression.
Or I go like, oh man, you're getting real blue.
I don't know if I'll do that.
I think it is the silver.
It's the silver guy, man.
Oh, man. Oh, man.
Oh, man, oh, fuck, man.
Oh, man, oh, fuck, man.
But the garden, I think, is a little weirder.
I think, because they're still going on.
The garden, what's great about the garden is,
what's it on?
It's a max also.
Same thing.
It's a commune.
The idea is commune or cult.
Several people there are happy to move there to be a commune.
Sure. And as all communes eventually draw,
is a person who comes in and goes,
yeah, this is all well and great.
And this is all the peace and love shit.
However, government's coming for us at some point.
The one guy that brings up guns, he goes,
you guys like guns, I'm just saying they're coming.
The guy comes in, but he's like, he goes,
and we, you know, who's gonna hunt food and they go, no, we dumpster dive, we're just how they're coming the guy comes in but he's like he goes Uh, and we you know who's gonna hunt food and they go no we dumpster dive
We just how they eat all their food a little rags and they drive up the highway and pick up dead animals
And they try to cook them right away. I get to meet like the old t-shirt roads that remember roadkill cafe
Yeah, I have to fake menu on it. You buy it like fucking tourist shops. They actually do roadkill
This guy who's like one guy is is like Thor he's like a hunter. He literally hunts that's his thing
And it's like I would like to hunt for you guys and they're like now
I'll show you how and they put them in the back of a pickup truck and they just drive up a highway
And they find a dead coyote
That is eat it. No, that's what they look at for the the coyote that didn't eat
Because they're looking for like yeah meat meat, I, like you know, I get dead deer or something,
but like no one also really knows what they're doing
when you get there.
But it's just going to pick up hit deer on the highway.
That's where they go.
They go to cults for them to munch on it.
Well, it's funny because I think they're diving
as restri-gross restored.
Some of them want to have a community
and you know, have a new way of life,
but there's a couple of them that just want to fuck.
Yeah, I would probably say 95% of all cults
and communes are fueled by fucking.
I think 100% of them are fueled by fucking.
No, I think there's the 5% that are really are like,
people are like, I don't want to live in a city anymore.
I want to live in a lot of people,
and then there's 95%.
Oh, communes.
Yeah, but when you get on the commune,
you assume because you're isolating yourself from the world
You're like I'm probably gonna fuck everybody there. Yeah, or whatever. What is their thing compared to love is one what what's their
Reason for being in the cold. Do they have a bad ass father God that listens to pantera?
Now just trying to live off. That's great
This is the thing that we I think takes the ox cord
They go on a mother God was listening to something
he was saying, you guys ever heard Volo display a power?
It's fucking awesome.
He's dancing around that cold and freaking them all out and they're like, oh.
It was like, what, this is music right here.
It was fucking awesome.
It was like Amy Grant and the other guy.
He had a power.
He was like, you guys have never heard that, you see?
This is slatch, Father of God. Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, can't do it. Wait, one dissension is not one. It's like he wanted to hunt and they have to have 10 seconds of silence. And if anybody in that 10
seconds says something, they don't do it. Which we are going to do here.
Going to start implementing. I love that for you guys.
I'm gonna start doing that here. But the 10 seconds of silence in their world
is an agreement of it. They count down on their fingers is an agreement to
anything. Do you know what I mean? So if anybody says anything.
Whatever it is.
So if you guys are.
Jacob, Jacob actually actively does try to have sex
with 15 year olds.
Anybody object?
One, two, three.
Well, I mean, okay, you're just objecting yourself.
What are you doing?
All right, guess he doesn't then because one person
objected.
Do you want to see the light language?
Yes.
Wait, let me explain what light language is, please. It's my favorite.
This is the best.
On both documentaries, this might be the best thing.
Can I ask you real quick before you set up light language?
They do this in the other episodes.
How many episodes is the garden?
Six.
Okay, because love has won was three.
So this is six hour episodes.
40 minutes.
Season one.
Oh, they're gonna do a second.
Oh, they have to.
It's on a cliffhanger.
Really?
Yeah.
It's branded as a reality show, right?
Yeah.
So what it is, these people started filming this Colton,
and they said it goes, let this reality TV things come in,
because they're trying to like, they were called to Colton,
ready, and they're like, no, no, we're a commune.
And so they're like, they don't want the bad presser.
They're like, yeah, film us.
But like, they're getting like all things like this.
They leave their microphones on and do it.
Do you know what I mean?
So they have all the, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they get into the meeting to decide they get to stay and they're like I'd love it if you stay. You remember have all the negativity. Do you remember how we used to talk about NFL film NFL
Films noises. Oh, yeah, yeah, I think I like
Yeah, baby. Oh, baby
That's how it always sounds when they make up for bump players these when they're wearing mics on reality shows and they blow stuff
It's always the same because they go like
Yeah, I can't believe we're gonna fucking yeah
You hear their shirt scratching against it. They're like we're absolutely gonna fucking do
Well, you just left my back right in that evil plan. We have to take this whole thing over
It's your move. It's still got it. Well the red had a guy when they they fucking kill him
They did that and he goes we're Mike. We're Mike
We're like a snap and he snaps and he goes you can't use that you can't use that you got to shut that
He's like no, we got you agreed to do this like
Really they do oh, there's another girl another girl for this who was the hottest chicken the show for sure
Shows up and then she's like this is kind of dumb and stupid like you guys are doing solve wrong
And they and they wanted her out and they booted her out. She comes back at one point
But she's the redhead guy wanted her out. And they booted her out. She comes back at one point, but she's a-
The red had guy wanted her out.
Yeah.
The red had guy in the light.
That's the same thing that he snatched her like phone one
point and ran off.
Again, off the grid always made the whole thing makes me laugh.
Like they all have cell phones and what it's,
no one's off the fuck.
But she was doing her own little Instagram live shit
in the middle of their stuff.
So.
What like, shitting on it?
No, she was just like, hey guys, the fucking dorks are doing it again.
She was just like doing around shit and they were like, what are you doing?
We're in them.
Like, they were having a moment and she was on her phone.
That's very fun.
And they were like, what the fuck are you doing?
You're ruining our moment.
She was like, I was looking up this moment.
The best part of that I loved about the, was it love is one documentary is that they all refer to the outside world as the 3d world would never fucking go back
They would never go to she would never go to a 3d doctor. They're living for me. That's the whole thing
I live in the poor dimensional world
Yeah, she died because she wouldn't go to a 3d doctor who would tell her to not drink silver
Yeah, I'm sure she could have been sure. Turned it below easily.
I'm on episode two right now.
Yeah, you'll see.
But all the chicks in love, was it love?
What is it?
Love is one.
Love is one.
Love is one.
All the girls in that are hot.
All the girls in the garden, except for like one, maybe a tour.
Love has one does have better looking people.
I mean, it's fucking great.
And they smell.
I mean, the other one, they shower.
Love is one, showers. The garden. They don't fucking well. Well, love is one is all love is one the whole cult is just their alcoholics
They're just like getting fuck the whole point is just to get
Blitzed every day and that's why she gets like those temperaments where she's like coming
I feel like you know healing people
And it's her laugh was making me our comfort. Our laugh is terrible.
You know, like, please leave me alone,
Mother of God.
She looks just so we're like smoking,
we listen to the weekend.
Yeah.
She's in, it's insane.
She doesn't love these movies,
we're talking about that.
Yeah, she explode laughs, which freaks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then you got father God.
Ah!
Fucking pumpin'.
Father God is doing karate to the air.
Yeah.
That guy is awesome. That guy is the best to the air. Yeah, that guy is awesome.
That guy is the best in the entire.
I'm gonna tell you right now,
he reminds me a lot of my mom's boyfriend, J.
I told J, it was like Joe with a pony tail.
Do you and Cod is with a cigarette hanging out the corner?
Yeah, he's one of those guys.
He's ripped, but he doesn't work out.
He's just wearing ripped.
Yeah, he's got, he's annoying.
He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't,
He doesn't do a lot of flexing like this stuff
Dude with the best
The best is the best you know he just pounds ass
So if I could explain light language yeah from the garden from the garden a show I will be watching there
There's a lady who's like
She's a fat seven, but she's a world five She's a she's a if you're a fat guy. She's a fat seven, but she's a world five.
She's a, she's a, if you're a fat guy, she's a seven.
If you're a fat guy, she's pretty rough.
She's rough.
Like her, her, what she is is indescribable.
You couldn't pick like what nationality she is.
Oh yeah, she's face pierced in tattooed
and she's seven's too high.
She's like everything.
Really? Yeah, like you, yeah, you can't pick,
you wouldn't be able to pick what she is.
But she's a dumb little pig.
And I'll tell you that she, in this,
so what she does.
She has like a belt buckle hanging from her ear.
Yeah, oh yeah, like a door knocker hanging through it.
You know what, she's a two.
I forgot about the ear thing.
You really, yeah.
You were, your memory is much more fond of her than in actuality.
I'm picturing just the scene I want to show you.
And like, does something she doesn't necessarily
look bad there?
It's that she's retarded.
And I mean, it's bad.
So is this the whole explanation of it when she says,
this is my favorite?
Yeah.
So they're building a teepee.
Yeah.
I love all of you guys.
Well, this is, yeah, I really feel like it's important for me
to speak from my heart and my soul and my spirit right now.
And it might not make any sense, because I'm
going to use words that are just coming from some other place.
Instantly, I heard something say, you need to support my words.
Is that her?
Yeah.
Man, that's a girl.
That's the kind of girl where if you
worked with her in the 3D world, you'd be like, yeah, you're a cool belt buckle earring.
Can you cover my Thursday late shift?
I need to go to my friends' play.
Yeah, team's parents are coming.
Can you please cover my shift?
And she's like, I'm about to answer this question in a way you're not going to understand.
Yeah.
Back, go back 15 to 10 seconds again.
Because that's when she says, when she, yeah, it's the whole thing play.
You're going to love this.
I love all you guys.
I really feel like it's important for me to speak from my heart and my soul and my spirit
right now.
And it might not make any sense because I'm going to use words that are just coming from
some other place. Instantly, I heard something say,
you need to speak in light words.
Sotakowaye laya, suduye, roto komayatagiya, o kowaye.
I have no clue what I'm saying. It's just like a panel that's sent to me.
It's nothing you fucking moron.
It's no pride she takes Nemo's guess.
I don't know what the fuck
I'm honestly it's really important. She goes off the top of the dough
But if you remember she's speaking this after the Indian guy who donated the TP from his tribe spoke Indian
Which was very similar?
So there's this song that's been going around the internet.
The Indian guy came out and was just like,
he actually spoke Indian.
I want to give this to you.
And he spoke like this, this dead language that no one speaks,
it was beautiful.
And then she goes, I'd like to speak my language.
Oh, I can't wait to watch that.
Also, he's stepping up and he's going, he steps up and goes,
you guys were kind of sucking your own dick about that TP
He used to do that in a hot five. Oh, dude TP spoiler alert. He becomes crashing down on top of people at some point
Well, I said you said nothing. I am I am one who speaks with honesty
You really use gibber jabber. He gave her like a hum my
Really, that was gibber jabber. He gave her like a hum my
Hum the name. I she's like
Uga booga flip a flabber whack smack and I
Don't know where this is coming from but
The Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop b He makes a face, too. He's got a bit of like a on the internet. There's been this thing going around in the 70s
This Italian this is really funny, but this Italian band did an American song. It's gibber jabber
They put out a song that they wanted to sound like an American rock song, but it's not in English. Was it the cure? So they watch I gave Lou the song. It's really funny because you're like you listen to it
It's the way she starts.
And what are they?
They're Italian.
But they're like, you know how when we make
fun of other languages, like if we made fun
of Italian people be like,
I'm not gonna move, believe me, believe me,
believe me, it's them doing that.
But.
Oh, they think American noises are like,
say the top of team,
and the song fucking rules.
And if it. than the song fucking rules.
Girls? This thing gets to say girls though.
You didn't say one real word.
I'm gonna be a song probably for you guys. You're the ball of insane.
These are like the J-Giles band center, full video.
Yeah.
But it's just jibberish.
It's what she did.
You know what it feels like?
It feels like when you're black out drunk and you're trying to listen to someone and you're like
What are you saying
Like
Do you have Christine you have the Indian guy?
Yes, she found the part of it. It sounds like that doubt David of act
But do a ham as you know
Causing questions
Oh, is this the Indian guy?
This Indian guy comes out.
He's tried.
Donated this fucking teepee.
And he gives this honorable, you know,
this ceremony that he gives to all these people.
You guys know you're missing a stick, right?
I don't know if you guys have ever done this before,
but that's real bad.
And then she basically comes up and goes like,
Hey, can I battle with you?
It's pretty disrespectful that you're mocking
Don't pretend to understand like language chief
Brooklyn will come and massacre the language He's probably like to hey, yeah, where'd you get that from?
Yeah, you get that idea from you know my fucking idiot. dumb bitch. My grandfather was a wind talker in World War II.
You're coming up here.
You're coming up here vomiting out of your face.
A wind talker.
I'm not dead fuck.
Alright, here we go.
And we're all gonna face the sun.
Wow! Chelsea, I can do this. She's right away just like she's like
She's like a little bit bob
The dude will be boop damn
Look at her
She's counting her moments
She's like wrapping up
Wrap it up
Wrap it up She'll hang up She will take Tonto You think you're the closer You're the opener She's counting her moments. She's like wrap it off
She was a tahto you think you're the closer you're the opener
She goes hey opens for me
You know the whole time
She's like I'm gonna I'm gonna do one too. Yeah, that's what I mean. In her whole head, she's listening to this and she's going like, yeah.
I think would you mind if I lay out a little,
mind if I spit?
We'll see.
Mind if I get on the mic?
Are you gonna have a blessed mic a little bit?
Ha ha ha ha.
Hey, hey real quick, you mind if I bless the mic?
Hambaleahuahmahawah.
She goes, what does that mean?
He goes nothing.
It means absolutely nothing nothing you can find it
the spot
I'm salmon
I'm salmon
that fucking song gets in your head but she does it again with a guy this guy comes
in who's a new guy he has 10 days and he has like he when she does a language
during the Indian guy he does he has a bad back and she's gonna heal him who's
the the she, she,
she was listening, I'm putting this stuff on your back right now.
He, he definitely thought he was gonna get a hand job with it.
Oh, yes. 100% thought he was just gonna get jerked off and have sex with this girl.
The fact guy.
Yeah, the fact guy. Yeah.
Who's the, who's the, my favorite on the whole show, by the way?
Oh, he's only on for like two episodes or three episodes maybe, but he's in a, he's just the guy, he's perfect.
He was sent in by the producers to not really believe in this thing
because she's like, I want to put this on your back
and he's like, all right, what is that?
She's like, it's piss from all the guys who live here.
And he's like, that's not real.
But he's like, he's like, she's putting potions on him.
He's like, all right, it's bullshit though, right?
You know that?
Touch my packer.
And then at some point, they said something about like the,
some allusion to a different God,
not like Jesus Christ or whatever, and he's like,
yo, I'm getting the fuck outta here.
We did that did it for him.
We see him packing his suitcase and his dumb tent up.
Yeah, yeah, she started speaking the stuff to him.
You know, it's just a rookie mistake, it's it is oh it's classic it's a goddamn rookie mistake
when you start speaking a language that isn't a language yeah it's time for
you know maybe a snickers rookie mistake maybe you just need a snickers
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Hama way.
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when did you start using the eagles of death metal bed music do that shit
rips you know
sit you left that you know that's not
sit you left it's a great song
don't move don't
yes i'm fucking i love that move that's on
the garden though are like twos compared to
it's terrible they're ugly people love as one love as one that's like Amy made
them work out
Well, they have a house they were all
Also, Amy was pretty pretty heads up with the sex. She was like hey, we're doing a lot of fucking around here
Everyone was good looking. No, you're clouded by one the first things I said we're watching that's like wow
That's a lot of ugly people
On love is one to the other all the girls were cute and the guys weren't cheap
You're telling me you would let father multiverse
Throw it yeah
You would tell you you let the marine fuck you
East adjacent momo of cult. Yeah come on the multiverse card
No, not not not
Not
You give it to multiverse too if you watch the garden first and then immediately what like I did and then watch love is one
Love is one cast is smoking hot. yeah garden is I'm a 30 people I'm coming right from
lovers one I'm I was just there and I'm looking at this bunch of
uh goes and they're shit in the hole they have no baby wipes they all have
mustard in their butt at least they were squatting in houses in lovers one
they have to we have like that brownish yellow crud on their ass cheeks because they're dry wiping into a hole in the ground
with a leaf they use it they use it like a squirrel
that means occasionally while they're sleeping they feel a pinch and they realize
it's poop in their butt here all the girls got wolf and pits to the girls and
love is one are supposed to be girls yeah they're hot they want to be girls
they were hot they were hot at one point two these girls are all fucking they have tattoos on their faces. It's a weird, it's a weird breed of people that go to
the guy. That's why the guy, the best looking people, uh, two of the best looking people
are the, the Thor guy, the Viking who shows up with his chick, who's a man to basically take
the place over. I think she's a little, little person. Really? Very close. It's very big.
And they have a black, uh, little person on very close. It's he's very little very big and they have a black
Little person on the show too that just came out of nowhere. Okay, just unannounced at some point
There was a black midget he came and went. Yeah, just came in and he's gone. Hey
What's up? I swear to you
He was like he's a fun challenge, but I probably wouldn't do this again
What's going on? I was gonna let y'all know y'all shit. Oh
It's over for one. Well, he was hilarious good. What was going on. That's what I'm going to let y'all know y'all shit now. Oh, it is over for one.
Well, he was hilarious.
He was going on a little Leon.
I had to get going.
This is where Burke got cabin from.
The, the, the, the, the, the, the black
midget actually is the funniest, uh,
your man, your white people tripping.
I'm out of here.
Cause he's, well, what he does,
they give his break down.
They show him, zooting up like Rambo,
but it's for the nerdiest white concerns of camping that I would have also, but he does, they give his breakdown, they show him zooting up like Rambo, but it's for the nerdiest white
concerns of camping that I would have also, but he's like,
he's gonna live in a commune.
He's like, okay, I brought my spoon and my alcohol wipes.
And like, here's a hat I wear.
So no creepy crawlies get on my skin at all.
It's so funny.
But his tent, he's got a little pop up tent and no one helps
him set it up.
So it just blows away in the wind.
Oh, and almost takes him with him at one point.
It literally takes it.
It almost takes him up in the air and he's got to go chase it
down this field.
I'm very excited to watch this shoot.
No one helps him.
Nobody helps him.
It's a it's a goodie.
These cold shows are fantastic.
I mean, the twin flame.
Did you watch both twin flames?
I watched two out of nine and watch both documentaries.
Only watch one on Netflix.
There's a better one on Amazon Prime.
Really, that guy's a great one too, Bobby.
I think that's the next one I'm watching.
Yeah, you get into that one.
We'll do the true.
The flames is pretty wild.
The thing about the guy is a hateable dude.
The thing about the guy that messes me up
is that these people that are coming into the commune,
Thor, the fact that he's show me Thor and his tiny wife?
The stupid chick, the dumb LA girl.
They all think that they're going there
to learn how to survive the zombie apocalypse.
But they say zombie apocalypse, like it's a thing
that's already been stated.
Like it's going to happen.
Like it's a school semester.
And they go there and they learn nothing.
Like these people have nothing. Yeah, they find out that people just want to fucking like dance around
a little bit. Yeah, I need like, like, like, spoiled meat. I have stews. Have old fucking
sandwiches from subway. They got thrown out. Just do stew shits into a hole somewhere.
It's just it does. It does. It does sound pretty kick ass having a random black little
person show up. And I said, and the girls that are even like mildly attractive
Trees wife the main guys are one of the main guys. She seems tree what is but you want to find a hateable person on any of these shows more the most hateable
Yeah, it's twin flame tree
Now yes twin flame guy is the worst you're right because he's a little he's more in the face
He's a bad person. He's a very bad tree is just a fucking dummy.
Tree is a fucking in idiot.
I'm excited to watch you.
He's a tree's an asshole.
He's a he's just an ira.
I'm so late, but I'm gonna watch at least one of us.
He also grew up going to like,
he grew up in a commune and his parents would take him.
They're called like rainbow gather.
No, that's Patrick.
That's the main guy.
No, tree tree was just a piece of
shit in England and
then wound up signing this that
British accent can get you
listening to some dumb
shit though he's just a he
brain of the Irish maybe
Irish yeah he's like a ginger
like freckle white mecca he's just
got a wacky haircut and he just
he wants to be out there he can't
understand like the whole half the show is him trying to throw this fuck party
and all the main people there are like buddy.
And he's like an OG member and I'm like buddy,
this is about like self-sustaining, like living.
And you know, I mean, getting our own water supply
and our blah, blah, blah, blah and survival.
You know what I mean?
He's like, yeah, and we did so much.
We should celebrate with a big fuck orgy.
Yeah, that's exactly it. And then he throws much, we should celebrate with a big fuck orgy. Yeah, that's exactly it.
And then he throws like the party, it's not a fuck orgy.
You know, it's like,
throw everybody gets drunk and then the people
who are super serious, just were super serious about it
and basically want him to move on.
So they're gonna boot him.
Yeah, one guy fell in the fire.
That's great.
It's a reality show, but they're filming definitely.
These are dumb.
Well, they started to film.
This isn't like the real world where it's like, at the end it was like producers really pushing narratives here. This is like they they dummies in the wild the red headed guy had it had a
The red headed guy had a tick-tock that got popular and it was in the garden their original place and it got popular and then
The internet turned on them and started calling them a cult and started you know doing all this weird shit
So they will agreed to do this to show the world that they're not and they're also opening up their doors to
Anyone can come any any walk a life can come so that's why the new days like we could all join we could go
We have 10 days and at the end of the 10 days they vote and you get 10 seconds of silence. That is sexy. Who they kept out of out of the six of us, the seven of us.
Isn't it wildlife that these people are shitting in a hole in the woods and like literally
you bought a a a kiss jacket for you and your son at the last.
Jackets insane. That's such a good jacket.
That's the same. I mean, just puts things in perspective.
Yeah. I'd rather be doing what we did.
Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'm gonna wear a money on it.
Oh, I'm gonna wear a money on it.
Oh, I'm gonna wear a money on it.
Oh, I'm gonna wear a money on it.
I'm gonna wear a money on it.
I'm gonna wear a money on it.
I'm gonna wear a money on it.
I'd rather be doing what we did.
Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets.
I'd rather be doing what we did.
Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets.
I'd rather be doing what we did.
Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets.
I'd rather be doing what we did.
Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets.
I'd rather be doing what we did.
Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets.
I'd rather be doing what we did.
Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets.
I'd rather be doing what we did.
Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. I'd rather be doing what we did. Fuck you get me. There's a great scene in the garden Fucking get me scumbag
There's a girl like you said there's a girl from LA your dirty tits
They all have dirty
Weird dirty girl dirty dehydrated nipple tits.
Yeah, I know.
A guy, the Viking guy and his chick,
like also when she, she comes out
like after a couple episodes of the wife and joins him.
Yeah.
They're, they like being naked and doing that whole thing.
So they're just sitting naked by a naked one point
and like the girl from California who's literally there.
I mean, she's doing that stuff. She said she wasn't bad. Yeah as far as like roughing it and making it work
But she will be wearing like a shirt that says like Malibu and stuff and like in jeans designer glasses and she has
Manicred fingernails, but every day one keeps coming off. So the first day she's missing one by day four
She has like three left. That's great.
So she, she just goes out there and they're like, sit down.
So she like sits next to them and he was awkwardly given the pitch for like a three
similar to show.
They're like, you know, she's allowed to be with women.
That's I can't provide for her what a woman can.
You know, the parts, but the only catches, you know, I always kind of join in or something like that.
There they go.
Is that something you would like to do?
Or she's like, no.
And they go, and they go, and they go, and they go, and they go, and they go, and they,
but their, their reactions almost like, good, you'll think on it.
She's like, no, I don't want that at all.
It goes, we'll take that as a soft yes.
Well, you know what, in the daytime, nose at night turned to yeses.
So, well, let's regroup.
Let's just get, let's get some air.
Oh.
All her fingernails are in the shit pile.
Yeah.
No.
Also, I'm pretty sure I have a yeast infection
from pissing that close to shit.
Oh.
They all have to shit.
And here's the thing, you can get an outhouse delivered
for like 50 bucks a week, and they come and just change it out.
Wait, really?
Yeah, when we were putting the tiny house in,
one of the options was just getting an outhouse
and they come and take it once a week and clean it.
They just pick up your shit and leave.
Yeah, they just get an outhouse
and they pick your shit up, clean it out
and you have a brand new shitter.
And it was $50 a week.
I made that up and I didn't know
you're gonna investigate Sherlock Dan. Well, I just wanna know. I'm sorry. Maybe I it was $50 a week. I made that up and I didn't know you're going to investigate
Sherlock Dan. Well, I just want to know. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm trying to start a business. Maybe I
want to start delivering poor bodies. It might be a hundred a month. No, no, no, it's a
Bobby. I'm just going to tell you this right now. No, that's not covered in the overhead. You got
I think it's a hundred a month. It would be 15 week is a lot To have a portal party just to come and suck out the shit and then we're not just coming and sucking out this
They got to bring a big fucking truck. Well, they bring a truck that has a hose that has a hose. It sucks the shit out
Yeah, you're right. Can we find out how much it cost guys? We just buy one. It's buy one for the studio
That'd be sick just out front 48. You know, we could start
a our own commune up on my land. You and I have spoke about this on you know what dude. Yeah.
You don't realize we're sitting across from the guy that we said would be the best cold leader.
Oh, you'd be the best Jay. On an episode of you know, it would be a
prevalent. You know what exactly. That's why you'd be the leader. That's why. Yeah. That's why we
and it would have to be it would be someone behind you that would be evil
Yeah, for sure pulling the strings. I'll have all good intentions for I want everybody to have the same things
Yeah, Christine's like not the same same
Like Jack most of the same, but we not all the same. I'm not letting somebody use my purse
Not all the same. I'm not letting somebody use my purse
Yeah, this is the commune fucking Louis. We got to go to Sotar's light speech
Some by the James Flem flame James is gonna do Ronnie Dangerfield doing light language
I I'm telling you, I'm gonna be the monkey go! HUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBB Yeah, they're all meant with a good Scientology's the best cult ending you can get just going
That's the best ending being exempt from taxes
But I mean the mother love bone
They say it's they say it's a cool what's this? Oh, that hitting on her?
This is them hitting on
Yeah, they like to do naked acrobatics
Who is this is that that's Viking and his chick?'s Viking and his chick they can't she's around she's
Yeah, four foot one and he's seven foot tall. I'm gonna tell you right now back when they're in the regular world
They had shit drinks at their house. Oh, oh you would go hanging out. You're like I guess let's take a water
Yeah, I don't want kombucha
Acorn juice? Yeah.
We made this.
This is wine we made with our dogs paws
stomping on the grapes.
Here you go.
That's the fuck they're warm.
There you can really see the size difference.
That is, is she a little person?
No, but she's probably like some little woman.
She's very small.
She's very big and she's very small,
so it makes it look bigger.
It's an optical illusion.
And of course, she's a professional private investigator, by the way.
He's obsessed with her, though.
Where you staying?
Yeah, it's kind of a hot relationship.
It's like a whole master blaster kind of thing.
Yeah.
Who runs, bought a chair?
So yeah, watch theness is the best.
I don't understand why she doesn't know. I'm spotted down. So yeah, watch this is the best.
I don't understand why she doesn't. She's a pale pale.
Everything is every step she takes,
it looks like she's a pale.
Yeah, yeah.
She's got designer kind of everything on it.
She has a water bottle in her bag.
Hey guys.
Sorry, so.
I was just gonna like get a tan.
Like, yeah, maybe use my floaty.
I'll do too. Not bring anything soon. I think I didn't think. I'm just gonna like get it
Yeah, no, that's fine. She has zero comfortable energy in this. She's not comfortable She's like um, so your tits are just out
You guys not constantly. Jacob. You have to say what it is
Mother fuck I mean, listen to this.
It was a rookie mistake.
It was a rookie mistake.
It was a rookie mistake.
Jay, a rookie mistake.
Let me tell you something.
It's time for a rookie mistake.
That's all.
We had a couple of things going on.
And we made a rookie mistake, radio wise.
And you know what?
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Okay.
I can't explain enough.
You got this, all this is fucking crazy to do in the bathroom.
I do not have to.
I do not have to.
Both of you.
I was.
That's insane.
Just say it.
I'm not gonna say on the air, I just want you to do a read.
Okay, but you say, guys, time to do a read.
All when you're just distracting, it's fucking.
Time to do a read. That's not time to do a read. That's not time to do a read all when you're just distracting It's time to do a read that's right. I don't know what you mean. Yeah
Yeah, but we could do them before the top of the hour. We still have another 10 more minutes of fun. I'm happy buddy
I'm happy Christmas times here everybody
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I hate
Fire real natural diamonds. I love them. Fire real natural diamonds from a real juror
You can trust Steven Singer jurors.'s i hate steven singer dot com dan dan would buy a
fake a nice fake diamond good website nice fake and you know why is that do
read now and lu argued with me sure why is that my show for the first time in
the shows history of you up level reads today we have ten nice what i only
think was i wanted to spread them out so that we didn't have eight minutes back to back for our listeners sure
That's all well, you know you know you get a lot of you
Jacob Jacob 10 reads
We've never known we've never known you have a bundle you up reads be level reads before the first
I keep reading your reads like they got 10 I don't think they even got 10 so I don't know why you can't know
So that was how to that's our dead name. That's our old channel.
We never had 10 reads.
You.
You, you, it's a different show, Dan.
You.
I get it.
You guys are cooking.
Well, we're cooking.
I walked so you could run.
It's a 10 reads.
You have a microphone.
You could literally say to us, because we love you.
We love you.
Jacob, I love you.
I love you. Take the send. I love you. Yes. I love you. I
I don't know what kind of cool shit. I'm sorry here since I left in March. I'm sorry.
That's all hands. Everyone's your own hands. Jay's apologizing. I want to say this speaking in light languages. Can we take a vote right now that Jacob from now on
Has to say something when he instead of making Google eyes or hand gestures, he has to use his voice in the
mic.
10 seconds please.
Jacob 10 seconds please.
It is law.
It is law.
It is law.
Jacob you have to speak.
Garden law.
Garden law.
It's a bond fire law.
It's official garden law.
Garden law
This is them hitting on her
This is great
So
She's like
I'm
Hmm
I better ask that we usually get naked
Stumbling upon
Heather and Tyler in the woods
Completely naked
Was shocking
So you ever been naked in public?
I like clothes personally and I feel
she's a little bit.
25.
I think it's you, Gilder.
You care less.
Probably like the older you, like the less,
the longer you go.
All right.
You got a flea on your nipple.
Oh, bleh.
Oh, bleh.
Got it.
It was definitely interesting to see
like how open they are with their bodies and how expressive they are. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so these people here are so happy. And they, she's just,
I don't wanna be rude.
I thought I was making a pretty good point.
You have ants crawling into your butt.
There is a line of ants marching into your labia.
I hate the sing song.
Everything is a song.
Right.
By the way, I also love it goes,
you won't care as much if you get older
and have a pretty great body.
Yeah.
Because if you get older, you don't even care about being naked. If you have a pretty great body. Yeah. She goes, if you get older, you don't even care
about being naked.
If you have a pretty great body,
and if you cut some carbs.
Week 13 years.
She goes, real quick.
Week 13 when you have an eaten at all
and you lose all that fat weight on you right now,
you'll get naked.
You're such a baby, you still have baby arms.
Yeah.
We sure know that.
What you got a jiggly baby teenage fat?
She goes, you're going to be all right.
Yeah, you're going gonna throw away that onesie
and that sweater you're wearing?
I'm waiting for him to go, uh-oh, someone woke up.
Oh, looks like the newest cult member's away.
Oh, looks like the real leader just woke up.
Hey, if you can pick up this hammer, you're a god.
Yeah.
You're gonna speak some light language.
You're gonna speak some light language?
You wanna see if you can remove X-calve it from You do it
Good what part of the country is this man? It's in I believe it Tennessee, right? Oh, did they go to Tennessee?
I'm a guy's from Tennessee is it is in St. Louis? No, St. Louis. This is an in St. Louis. Is it Missouri?
Is it in Missouri? I might be Missouri. I think it might be a
St. Louis arc bounce. Yeah, Missouri. They went from Tennessee. I believe they're in Tennessee and then they went to Missouri? I think it might be Missouri. It might be Missouri. It's the Ozark Mountains. Yeah, Missouri.
They went from Tennessee, I believe.
They were in Tennessee and then they went to Missouri.
Trying to think about the...
Yeah, St. Louis is like the crypts and the bloods.
Yeah.
I think that's where they dosed your tie.
I think it is something.
Yeah, I think it is a city to go to.
St. Louis?
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Play this.
Oh, check.
Like physical things.
They have experiences.
I've also like been on my phone way less
and just like the big deal.
I've had a lot less anxiety.
I think you kind of start to realize
that a lot of it is in your head.
Mm-hmm.
I'm telling you,
how do you say when they just say nothing at all?
You realize that life is thoughts and thoughts lead to action
and that's all you need to know.
That actually makes sense to me.
Everything.
I did fucking bury that.
Everything's blue, so it's purple.
I don't know.
It's imperative.
You know what I'm saying?
She said earlier today,
no, it's nothing.
Yeah, I'm gonna buy it.
Fib, I'm yam, I'm scared.
Can you see me?
Slap it around, you can, I speak John.
You can't.
Man, I speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can make the world anything that you want it to be. You're like, we don't really have a job,
but it's like build a society.
Like, we don't have anything really tying us down.
Her telling her dad this on the phone,
where he's going like,
I like you living Rome for two years.
What else do you have to do?
You goofy bitch.
Why can't you just go get a job and earn money?
Can I get my 160,000 back for you dumb college?
You would see Smele
ask you are to North. Because you were to Northwestern. You're fucking expensive that is.
Hey, remember driving to the Ozark Mountains in your fucking G-Wagon I got you if you promised
because you said you go to school for two years at least. Oh my god, your fucking mother's
gonna kill you. Remember that food program? I said, I said,. I said extra $10,000 a semester you dumb chubby bitch
She got a court on blue. She has a backseat though that it looks like a juicer. That's a that's actually a
Could be a skin tag. That's a that's a skin tag
I don't know about that. That could be a fat pimpe could be a juicer, but it could be a tag
I'll tell you what that's gonna. I know either way it hurts to lay on snobby
I know she shifts to her side when she hits I know that when she takes her shirt off it gets hooked on that
Sorry, it's snagged the sweater
She's my back hook got it you woke up one day her dog was chewing on it. Oh, sorry good. Yeah, no no stop Marcus. No
Marcus are alias
No, no stop Marcus. No, yeah, Marcus are alias
Did I want to see this how they're like so anyway? I'm sucking fun. I get to it. He turned I mean you can see he's like he is what he's doing
He's letting her
Take the lead like the cold talk. You know, I mean that he comes and he goes hey look anything you see here
I mean that he comes that he goes hey look anything you see here
Jay I mean you are you are a veteran of three sums right now he would be getting ice and putting it in the ice trace
He hangs right in there. No, this is a different thing. This is the initial like talk to
This is the initial talk. This is this is the launch box. I would not be retired from three So I said he's he's a he's got
a veteran veteran. But uh, these explain the steps. So I was trying to
see this guy here is not I'd be nowhere near this conversation. I'm
just guys and nowhere near that naked and nowhere near that. I'm
top there. Just hinting at him would both be in black. I'd be wearing a snuggie
with sweatpants over it.
This scene she goes, oh, so you guys lay at the lake fully closed.
Yeah.
So anyway, do you want to suck pussy's with her?
Or whatever?
I'll take this hoodie off if you want to fuck around.
No, when Christine ruled she would fucking engage that conversation.
I could split.
I wouldn't even know what's happening sometimes sometimes and she'd come back and be like,
this girl's totally in.
But I wouldn't be sitting there as part of the pitch.
Because I'm always taking back too
when me and my ex-girlfriend,
a girl that she worked with,
my ex-girlfriend worked with a K-Mart,
who I thought was cute.
She goes, that girl's boyfriend,
one of like, couple swap with us.
And I was like, yeah, totally, that's great.
And that guy giving us the, we were there already.
And he was giving us the pitch.
I was like, yeah.
Like the guy giving the pitch.
Yeah, it's really just like, you know,
it's a physical thing of just bodies having fun exploring. Not a fool, you gotta be in a carpeted band. Hey, hey, West, I don't think if we
fucking swap right now, it's gonna make our lives. It was just such a, I was such a
drama to the thing if you're like, yeah, man, we're taking the leap dude, you're
gonna fuck my chicken. I'm gonna get chicken. We'll see what I, I didn't even love it
that time at all. I was definitely like that kind of sucked the situation, but I was like
Still like the next day. I was like fine. You know, I mean it didn't like like haunt my
Dread like the the drama the high drama
It's face is so he can't believe she hasn't got he's mad at her for not getting to a quicker already really
Yeah, oh, should we do have to we'll come we'll watch this when we come back
Yeah, we have to get break we don't want Jacob to start doing hand gestures again
He's not well. Yeah, he gave the right one now. No, he was given the break. Oh, he gave the right one
Yeah, breaks fine. All good with that
Um, but we did take a consensus a community that you're gonna say stuff from now on
Yeah, but I figure break you love breaking I do like breaking hands also he does this so it's kind of like a handjob break hands
Break hand we'll be right back. We're hanging out with Dan Sotar everybody
He's gonna be at the Royal Oak music theater in Michigan Friday, December 8th. That's this weekend everybody
After that Atlanta Redback, New Jersey and Philadelphia on the horizon get tickets at dan sotar.com
Robert Kelly live dot com for tickets and his word dates for him. He's gonna be in Daniel Beach, Florida at the improv, December 15th to 16th.
And after that Fort Wayne Indiana,
one night two shows that his new year's Eve,
Fort Wayne Indiana, Saratoga Springs and Wisconsin
for tickets and tour dates again,
robbercowellive.com.
Yeah, make sure a big joke,
or so he's gonna be in Houston,
Providence, Pittsburgh, New Year's Eve,
for tickets and all other tour dates, yeah.
No.
What?
No, I'm gonna be in Houston.
Yeah, Houston, Prov Houston yeah Houston this weekend okay
Providence and Pittsburgh yeah Christine actually wrote it terribly it's not my fault
I read I just read it you know it's just it Pittsburgh New Year's Eve weekend
you go to big J comedy you'll find out and find out and Dan Soda has a brand new
show it's a podcast it's it's called so the new Soda show and I new show. It's a podcast. It's called Soda.
The new Soda show.
And I was on it, you were on it.
And you did it.
And you did it.
Wherever you get podcasts, you can listen to it.
So check it out.
A great little bite-sized podcast.
A little bite-sized.
You can read it, you can read it, right?
You can listen to it on the way to the store.
My episode is,
Are they hour and hour each?
It's coming up.
It's 40 minutes.
And then we just put the extra footage on YouTube.
Oh nice.
Because why not? I know everyone's like just releasing the extra footage on YouTube. Oh nice. Thanks.
Why not? I know everyone's like just releasing an hour and it'll probably end up in there.
We'll be back everybody with more.
Oh my, yeah.
Oh my, yeah.
So bye.
So good job, adabba.
Let's give it a day of adabba.
Shibalabba, you made sure.
I made sure.
I made sure.
The last is a number, don't you.
Oh, one good day and let's be.
Hey everybody, thanks for listening.
That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show.
If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slash bonfire
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