The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dummies In The Wild (feat. Dan Soder)

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Our sweet boy Dan Soder returns to discuss cult documentaries, the Soder podcast, and the last Kiss concert ever! ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. What a show. What a show. What a show. What's up everybody?
Starting point is 00:00:28 It's the bonfire. I'm Robert Kelly, Big Jocoson. The crew is all here and we have a very special guest. Dan Soda. Wow. I was going to wait until you told me. Dan Soda. Dead soda. Oh, wow. I was going to wait and do it, Tom. Dead soda. Who will love you baby?
Starting point is 00:00:47 Who will love me? Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Everybody please. Bobby Kelly's in business. I'm loving you baby, you will make for loving me. Check out the Jackets by Bob. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy.
Starting point is 00:01:15 I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy.
Starting point is 00:01:23 I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. I'm a jacket boy. comfort zone. The show has become very singy since you left. And I knew it was made that way. It's brought back to this point. When you emailed me a list of instructors to get my song voice, I knew it was going to run. We're very Broadway, very gay. I said, none of these vocal teachers fit my range, Jay. And he said, you will learn. I don't like it. Every Wednesday our show is all musical. Hello, Bob.
Starting point is 00:01:49 How was your yesterday? Yes, it was good. How are you? I'm doing well. Get ready for my flight to Houston, Texas. Max has cubes. What? You just go right to Max's cubes.
Starting point is 00:02:01 That's how you go to do it. We have to sing it. That's what's going on. It has to be sung it that's what's going on to be sung that's what was going on that day this this weekend was fucking great telling me baby 49ers 42 Eagles 19 yeah this weekend had its moments Saturday was tight Saturday was Saturday ruled that's what got Bobby in the fucking rock and roll Hall of Fame memorabilia game. I just put my chair down by accident or I made it do that. So I can feel powerful.
Starting point is 00:02:34 My foot's deck. My foot's deck. Dan had the weather a couple of snippy. Friend to friend text. You're a friend to use something right now. Face to face. Yeah, you were phenomenal. Yeah, come out of the way the way I Last year
Starting point is 00:02:50 Bobby we understand you're in the little chair. This is my foot stuck Bobby Bobby my foot stuck Bobby what's happening over there? My foot stuck at you fucking yapping assholes that haven't seen each other a while. I like what you're doing cut Yeah, I like what you're doing your monkey wrench in the works of a convo each other a while. I like what you're doing. I like what you're doing. You're monkey wrenching the works of a convo. One time I like it. I swear to God my first. Bobby, I hope every time me and Dan start sinking into something that you get tangled up in something. Guys, you're stuck in the computers. I'm not
Starting point is 00:03:13 stuck in the computers. When I was 10 years old, we had a cat that I didn't like. When I was 10 years old, I heard a cat make a noise. I've never heard sense where I was like, and I went and his foot was trapped in our kitchen our kitchen chair and he was hanging upside down by his foot making that noise. You just did that in human form. I did. My foot was stuck and you two assholes are just you living through old time. It was actually never so like yesterday. That's old. You know what? Yes today.
Starting point is 00:03:41 His history tomorrow's a mystery. Well, we have to go way back to Saturday talk. Kiss. Oh, we have to go way back to Santa Raita kiss. Is this white goat, white goat tea, Bobby? Say it, Bobby. Bobby the Grey. Oh, he's a sage. Yeah. I, he goes, it's not dude anymore.
Starting point is 00:03:54 It's Mr. Dude, I'm a sticker. Dude, sir. I can't, I think I'm gonna let it grow. I love it. Do you like it? I fucking love it. I don't know if I like it. I'm, I'm past the itch thing. I I love it. Do you like me fucking love it? I don't know if I like it. I'm past the itch day. I'm fucking love it. You know I actually combed it today and I if kind of I felt really like mature you look how does hell do I
Starting point is 00:04:14 With the glasses on you look really do look like a music producer. I thought we're gonna we're gonna go to a friend and get it died No, we're gonna die ourselves. Oh, we're dying in a cell. I'm just for men, remember the idea? Yeah, just for men. Just go black. Fucking one day, she'll get black. And never acknowledge anybody. Bobby, will you jet black your eyebrows too?
Starting point is 00:04:35 I have to. I'll do my eyebrows. I'll do my go-t. No, we just do the facial hair. I should do my eyebrows. You should do my eyebrows too. Yeah, I'm gonna look like an alien if I have eyebrows if I just do I browse too I'm not dark do are they yeah, do you like my eyebrows? I do I do
Starting point is 00:04:56 Yeah, come on. I don't know are we going jet black? Yeah, she go jet black You guys you go Dracula black like two fucking magicians jet black. You got your Dracula black like two fucking magicians. Oh my god. I want you guys to look like the extravagant Jay and Robert. Josh Adam Myers does that. Oh yeah. Have great for a while and then it'll come in with Jerry Lewis. Blood jet black. Oh yeah. Well now he's doing his the mustache. He goes his crazy. I was on to jelly roll and I found the found me. What he does now with the sip is sip. He does. He does the mustache in the soul patch and the beard is Rest of the beard. He's Hollywood Hogan. Josh and a Myers for life. He does
Starting point is 00:05:35 Sings on comedy. Life. Bounce on Bounce. Bounce. He does Scootin' the bat. A wet.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Oh my god. He does the B he does the mustache black and everything else is He does the inverse Hollywood Hogan. Yeah, that's crazy. I kind of like it though. It looks good, right? Yeah Back pulls it all he's a handsome fella. Jay before we get to yoked like action figure. He's jacked. Little he man Before we get too far away from it Your response to the 49ers Eagles game was very good. And it made me more embarrassed how I reacted to the championship game.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Because I was like, damn, J was really fun. When you go, J had a funny line where he was like, what was the spread? 49ers were a favorite two and a half he goes, well, at least they covered. Yeah. Even the time I voodoo, I voodooed your 49ers. It was one of the worst playoff experiences in my life. I called them up and I it's got boom boom boom yeah, blah. Oh, you spoke light language. I spoke like
Starting point is 00:06:30 Yeah, you spoke the light language. You spoke the light language that I couldn't reverse it I spoke the language of the girl from the garden. Oh, no, that's the garden What is that? Oh, that's the light language is a mother mother love bound Oh, dude, that's my favorite part of the whole document Which is if you guys know my I'm gonna speak in a I'm speaking one of the cultists. That's the garden. It's not the garden. It's the garden It's 100% the garden As a guy that studies I'm mixing them by I mix them both up to but this one is the mother love bone
Starting point is 00:06:58 The girl who's given the fat guy massage. Oh wait, it is the garden. Hang on one second now. Let's see if he's alert Let's see if it works. Jay. Yeah, go ahead. No, sorry about that. No, no, no, no, no, no, Jay. What's the garden? Wait a second. Wait a second. Well, Jay's learning how to apologize. I love this. She hang on. Jay, you're wrong. I was right. Yeah. No, Jay. Yeah, Jay, you were right. No, I was wrong. I was right. And you were wrong. I was wrong. Right. Okay., you were right. No, I was wrong. No, I was right and you were wrong. I was wrong. Right. Okay, so you were right Yes, what? No, no, no, no, look at me. You can't look at Dan and say sorry. Sorry Look at me. I said better be moving. Jacob. I'm sorry about that.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Jay, Jay. I'm sorry. No, just look at me. Look at me. Look at me. You got you were right. You got this I was totally wrong you okay you are and wrong no no no you are Jay Jay was wrong no Bobby was right no no no no no sorry Jay was wrong. Bobby was right. No, no, no, no, sorry. He does get it in right when things he like gets it under the wave So it doesn't count throws it away. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no What are you guys? It's I just I'll be you you be me. Okay, Bobby. Yeah, I'm sorry, bro. You're right Yeah, I'm sorry, bro. You're right. Does it? I think I'm hearing the same thing that you're saying no you're going W and these things I think I'm hearing it. I think I'm doing it the same way.
Starting point is 00:08:31 W is no Bobby. I'm very sorry. Wow. Wow. That was good. I will not show saying I will not show Dan any sign of dissension in the ranks here. Everything's going great and I apologize not of people. Sorry, Bobby. I love you, Jay. I love you too. Wait, you guys aren't talking about love as one in the garden, right?
Starting point is 00:08:52 We're talking about the garden. The garden. It is the garden, and there's a lady. What are you doing? Why do you keep touching it? I'm doing the wrong button. Yeah, like we can see that. I've been sabotaged.
Starting point is 00:09:01 I think Dan came in here and sabotaged my day. Please, sabotaged. You know what, Bobby, get up real quick. I know this sabotaged. I think Dan came in here and sabotaged my hair. Please, sabotaged. You know what, Bobby, get up real quick. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing.
Starting point is 00:09:12 I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing.
Starting point is 00:09:20 I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this old thing. I know this long time. I mean, he's smiling. I gave him a piggyback right into the studio. I'm not gonna lie to you. They do this every time. It's the most, it's the most that Jacob has ever smiled.
Starting point is 00:09:33 And I mean this. Since Gangfist, when you walked onto that stage. I mean, what do you say? It's an unbreakable bond. He lives in pure misery until the next time he sees you. Well, you know, it's not. There's a reason I'm in his phone is light of his life.
Starting point is 00:09:47 So there you guys are. I can't find Dan's number here goes, oh, it's under L. L-O-L. L-O-L. Why not? Why not? I take the M out, because it just makes more sense
Starting point is 00:09:56 because he's so fun. No, I'm a conger. It's a double of conger. The card. Look at Jacob is glowing right now. I did send it. Bobby, the card, look at Jacob is glowing right now. I did send it. Bobby, why you, what's up? You watch the garden, are you asking for your correct?
Starting point is 00:10:10 I watch a garden. Dan, you have not watched the garden. No, what's the garden? I've watched 20 flames of watch mother of love, or love is one. Have you watched, I'm halfway through love is one. How funny is that?
Starting point is 00:10:20 The angels, the angels are Robin Williams and other random celebrities. Yeah. And then she says Robin Williams and other random celebrities. And then she says Robin Williams has stuff to the people. Robin Williams talking shit to cult members might be the funniest thing of that whole documentary. Oh, but they wouldn't say anything about the way they go. They thought, pick. They said, you're from, Robin says you're fat.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Robin Williams says you're not bringing the right energy. He talks to all of them. Yeah. I love those crazies because they're just, they stick to it the whole documentary they'll get a lot of the don't wake up out of it the two honest girls original well don't ruin it for bobby but to the cult members are still in it the whole way through where you're like you know that it wasn't you know it ends yet they're still like fighting the good fight they're like
Starting point is 00:11:00 anyway she ascended colossal but didn't turn you blew out of what you think that yeah and uh... what if they're right? I had that exact thought what if Robin Robin is Why killed myself I had to go talk to these people for no time. I was him Just robbing Williams I believe it more than a young Rodney danger field Well, it's funny rock about Hunter Well, you know, it's really. It's a rock about Hunter. He, Verwin. Well, you know what's really funny is she says her two top
Starting point is 00:11:27 angels were Robin Williams in Saint Germain. So every time she says Saint Germain, I would just do my dance in Germain impression. Or I go like, oh man, you're getting real blue. I don't know if I'll do that. I think it is the silver. It's the silver guy, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Oh, man, oh, fuck, man. Oh, man, oh, fuck, man. But the garden, I think, is a little weirder. I think, because they're still going on. The garden, what's great about the garden is, what's it on? It's a max also. Same thing.
Starting point is 00:11:58 It's a commune. The idea is commune or cult. Several people there are happy to move there to be a commune. Sure. And as all communes eventually draw, is a person who comes in and goes, yeah, this is all well and great. And this is all the peace and love shit. However, government's coming for us at some point.
Starting point is 00:12:16 The one guy that brings up guns, he goes, you guys like guns, I'm just saying they're coming. The guy comes in, but he's like, he goes, and we, you know, who's gonna hunt food and they go, no, we dumpster dive, we're just how they're coming the guy comes in but he's like he goes Uh, and we you know who's gonna hunt food and they go no we dumpster dive We just how they eat all their food a little rags and they drive up the highway and pick up dead animals And they try to cook them right away. I get to meet like the old t-shirt roads that remember roadkill cafe Yeah, I have to fake menu on it. You buy it like fucking tourist shops. They actually do roadkill This guy who's like one guy is is like Thor he's like a hunter. He literally hunts that's his thing
Starting point is 00:12:48 And it's like I would like to hunt for you guys and they're like now I'll show you how and they put them in the back of a pickup truck and they just drive up a highway And they find a dead coyote That is eat it. No, that's what they look at for the the coyote that didn't eat Because they're looking for like yeah meat meat, I, like you know, I get dead deer or something, but like no one also really knows what they're doing when you get there. But it's just going to pick up hit deer on the highway.
Starting point is 00:13:11 That's where they go. They go to cults for them to munch on it. Well, it's funny because I think they're diving as restri-gross restored. Some of them want to have a community and you know, have a new way of life, but there's a couple of them that just want to fuck. Yeah, I would probably say 95% of all cults
Starting point is 00:13:30 and communes are fueled by fucking. I think 100% of them are fueled by fucking. No, I think there's the 5% that are really are like, people are like, I don't want to live in a city anymore. I want to live in a lot of people, and then there's 95%. Oh, communes. Yeah, but when you get on the commune,
Starting point is 00:13:42 you assume because you're isolating yourself from the world You're like I'm probably gonna fuck everybody there. Yeah, or whatever. What is their thing compared to love is one what what's their Reason for being in the cold. Do they have a bad ass father God that listens to pantera? Now just trying to live off. That's great This is the thing that we I think takes the ox cord They go on a mother God was listening to something he was saying, you guys ever heard Volo display a power? It's fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:14:09 He's dancing around that cold and freaking them all out and they're like, oh. It was like, what, this is music right here. It was fucking awesome. It was like Amy Grant and the other guy. He had a power. He was like, you guys have never heard that, you see? This is slatch, Father of God. Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, can't do it. Wait, one dissension is not one. It's like he wanted to hunt and they have to have 10 seconds of silence. And if anybody in that 10 seconds says something, they don't do it. Which we are going to do here.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Going to start implementing. I love that for you guys. I'm gonna start doing that here. But the 10 seconds of silence in their world is an agreement of it. They count down on their fingers is an agreement to anything. Do you know what I mean? So if anybody says anything. Whatever it is. So if you guys are. Jacob, Jacob actually actively does try to have sex with 15 year olds.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Anybody object? One, two, three. Well, I mean, okay, you're just objecting yourself. What are you doing? All right, guess he doesn't then because one person objected. Do you want to see the light language? Yes.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Wait, let me explain what light language is, please. It's my favorite. This is the best. On both documentaries, this might be the best thing. Can I ask you real quick before you set up light language? They do this in the other episodes. How many episodes is the garden? Six. Okay, because love has won was three.
Starting point is 00:15:39 So this is six hour episodes. 40 minutes. Season one. Oh, they're gonna do a second. Oh, they have to. It's on a cliffhanger. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:48 It's branded as a reality show, right? Yeah. So what it is, these people started filming this Colton, and they said it goes, let this reality TV things come in, because they're trying to like, they were called to Colton, ready, and they're like, no, no, we're a commune. And so they're like, they don't want the bad presser. They're like, yeah, film us.
Starting point is 00:16:03 But like, they're getting like all things like this. They leave their microphones on and do it. Do you know what I mean? So they have all the, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
Starting point is 00:16:15 they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,
Starting point is 00:16:23 they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they get into the meeting to decide they get to stay and they're like I'd love it if you stay. You remember have all the negativity. Do you remember how we used to talk about NFL film NFL Films noises. Oh, yeah, yeah, I think I like Yeah, baby. Oh, baby That's how it always sounds when they make up for bump players these when they're wearing mics on reality shows and they blow stuff It's always the same because they go like Yeah, I can't believe we're gonna fucking yeah You hear their shirt scratching against it. They're like we're absolutely gonna fucking do
Starting point is 00:16:51 Well, you just left my back right in that evil plan. We have to take this whole thing over It's your move. It's still got it. Well the red had a guy when they they fucking kill him They did that and he goes we're Mike. We're Mike We're like a snap and he snaps and he goes you can't use that you can't use that you got to shut that He's like no, we got you agreed to do this like Really they do oh, there's another girl another girl for this who was the hottest chicken the show for sure Shows up and then she's like this is kind of dumb and stupid like you guys are doing solve wrong And they and they wanted her out and they booted her out. She comes back at one point
Starting point is 00:17:24 But she's the redhead guy wanted her out. And they booted her out. She comes back at one point, but she's a- The red had guy wanted her out. Yeah. The red had guy in the light. That's the same thing that he snatched her like phone one point and ran off. Again, off the grid always made the whole thing makes me laugh. Like they all have cell phones and what it's,
Starting point is 00:17:37 no one's off the fuck. But she was doing her own little Instagram live shit in the middle of their stuff. So. What like, shitting on it? No, she was just like, hey guys, the fucking dorks are doing it again. She was just like doing around shit and they were like, what are you doing? We're in them.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Like, they were having a moment and she was on her phone. That's very fun. And they were like, what the fuck are you doing? You're ruining our moment. She was like, I was looking up this moment. The best part of that I loved about the, was it love is one documentary is that they all refer to the outside world as the 3d world would never fucking go back They would never go to she would never go to a 3d doctor. They're living for me. That's the whole thing I live in the poor dimensional world
Starting point is 00:18:17 Yeah, she died because she wouldn't go to a 3d doctor who would tell her to not drink silver Yeah, I'm sure she could have been sure. Turned it below easily. I'm on episode two right now. Yeah, you'll see. But all the chicks in love, was it love? What is it? Love is one. Love is one.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Love is one. All the girls in that are hot. All the girls in the garden, except for like one, maybe a tour. Love has one does have better looking people. I mean, it's fucking great. And they smell. I mean, the other one, they shower. Love is one, showers. The garden. They don't fucking well. Well, love is one is all love is one the whole cult is just their alcoholics
Starting point is 00:18:51 They're just like getting fuck the whole point is just to get Blitzed every day and that's why she gets like those temperaments where she's like coming I feel like you know healing people And it's her laugh was making me our comfort. Our laugh is terrible. You know, like, please leave me alone, Mother of God. She looks just so we're like smoking, we listen to the weekend.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Yeah. She's in, it's insane. She doesn't love these movies, we're talking about that. Yeah, she explode laughs, which freaks. Yeah. Yeah. And then you got father God.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Ah! Fucking pumpin'. Father God is doing karate to the air. Yeah. That guy is awesome. That guy is the best to the air. Yeah, that guy is awesome. That guy is the best in the entire. I'm gonna tell you right now, he reminds me a lot of my mom's boyfriend, J.
Starting point is 00:19:30 I told J, it was like Joe with a pony tail. Do you and Cod is with a cigarette hanging out the corner? Yeah, he's one of those guys. He's ripped, but he doesn't work out. He's just wearing ripped. Yeah, he's got, he's annoying. He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, He doesn't do a lot of flexing like this stuff
Starting point is 00:19:45 Dude with the best The best is the best you know he just pounds ass So if I could explain light language yeah from the garden from the garden a show I will be watching there There's a lady who's like She's a fat seven, but she's a world five She's a she's a if you're a fat guy. She's a fat seven, but she's a world five. She's a, she's a, if you're a fat guy, she's a seven. If you're a fat guy, she's pretty rough. She's rough.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Like her, her, what she is is indescribable. You couldn't pick like what nationality she is. Oh yeah, she's face pierced in tattooed and she's seven's too high. She's like everything. Really? Yeah, like you, yeah, you can't pick, you wouldn't be able to pick what she is. But she's a dumb little pig.
Starting point is 00:20:29 And I'll tell you that she, in this, so what she does. She has like a belt buckle hanging from her ear. Yeah, oh yeah, like a door knocker hanging through it. You know what, she's a two. I forgot about the ear thing. You really, yeah. You were, your memory is much more fond of her than in actuality.
Starting point is 00:20:46 I'm picturing just the scene I want to show you. And like, does something she doesn't necessarily look bad there? It's that she's retarded. And I mean, it's bad. So is this the whole explanation of it when she says, this is my favorite? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:00 So they're building a teepee. Yeah. I love all of you guys. Well, this is, yeah, I really feel like it's important for me to speak from my heart and my soul and my spirit right now. And it might not make any sense, because I'm going to use words that are just coming from some other place. Instantly, I heard something say, you need to support my words.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Is that her? Yeah. Man, that's a girl. That's the kind of girl where if you worked with her in the 3D world, you'd be like, yeah, you're a cool belt buckle earring. Can you cover my Thursday late shift? I need to go to my friends' play. Yeah, team's parents are coming.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Can you please cover my shift? And she's like, I'm about to answer this question in a way you're not going to understand. Yeah. Back, go back 15 to 10 seconds again. Because that's when she says, when she, yeah, it's the whole thing play. You're going to love this. I love all you guys. I really feel like it's important for me to speak from my heart and my soul and my spirit
Starting point is 00:21:57 right now. And it might not make any sense because I'm going to use words that are just coming from some other place. Instantly, I heard something say, you need to speak in light words. Sotakowaye laya, suduye, roto komayatagiya, o kowaye. I have no clue what I'm saying. It's just like a panel that's sent to me. It's nothing you fucking moron. It's no pride she takes Nemo's guess.
Starting point is 00:22:24 I don't know what the fuck I'm honestly it's really important. She goes off the top of the dough But if you remember she's speaking this after the Indian guy who donated the TP from his tribe spoke Indian Which was very similar? So there's this song that's been going around the internet. The Indian guy came out and was just like, he actually spoke Indian. I want to give this to you.
Starting point is 00:22:50 And he spoke like this, this dead language that no one speaks, it was beautiful. And then she goes, I'd like to speak my language. Oh, I can't wait to watch that. Also, he's stepping up and he's going, he steps up and goes, you guys were kind of sucking your own dick about that TP He used to do that in a hot five. Oh, dude TP spoiler alert. He becomes crashing down on top of people at some point Well, I said you said nothing. I am I am one who speaks with honesty
Starting point is 00:23:19 You really use gibber jabber. He gave her like a hum my Really, that was gibber jabber. He gave her like a hum my Hum the name. I she's like Uga booga flip a flabber whack smack and I Don't know where this is coming from but The Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop b He makes a face, too. He's got a bit of like a on the internet. There's been this thing going around in the 70s This Italian this is really funny, but this Italian band did an American song. It's gibber jabber They put out a song that they wanted to sound like an American rock song, but it's not in English. Was it the cure? So they watch I gave Lou the song. It's really funny because you're like you listen to it
Starting point is 00:24:04 It's the way she starts. And what are they? They're Italian. But they're like, you know how when we make fun of other languages, like if we made fun of Italian people be like, I'm not gonna move, believe me, believe me, believe me, it's them doing that.
Starting point is 00:24:14 But. Oh, they think American noises are like, say the top of team, and the song fucking rules. And if it. than the song fucking rules. Girls? This thing gets to say girls though. You didn't say one real word. I'm gonna be a song probably for you guys. You're the ball of insane.
Starting point is 00:24:49 These are like the J-Giles band center, full video. Yeah. But it's just jibberish. It's what she did. You know what it feels like? It feels like when you're black out drunk and you're trying to listen to someone and you're like What are you saying Like
Starting point is 00:25:10 Do you have Christine you have the Indian guy? Yes, she found the part of it. It sounds like that doubt David of act But do a ham as you know Causing questions Oh, is this the Indian guy? This Indian guy comes out. He's tried. Donated this fucking teepee.
Starting point is 00:25:30 And he gives this honorable, you know, this ceremony that he gives to all these people. You guys know you're missing a stick, right? I don't know if you guys have ever done this before, but that's real bad. And then she basically comes up and goes like, Hey, can I battle with you? It's pretty disrespectful that you're mocking
Starting point is 00:25:54 Don't pretend to understand like language chief Brooklyn will come and massacre the language He's probably like to hey, yeah, where'd you get that from? Yeah, you get that idea from you know my fucking idiot. dumb bitch. My grandfather was a wind talker in World War II. You're coming up here. You're coming up here vomiting out of your face. A wind talker. I'm not dead fuck. Alright, here we go.
Starting point is 00:26:18 And we're all gonna face the sun. Wow! Chelsea, I can do this. She's right away just like she's like She's like a little bit bob The dude will be boop damn Look at her She's counting her moments She's like wrapping up Wrap it up
Starting point is 00:26:44 Wrap it up She'll hang up She will take Tonto You think you're the closer You're the opener She's counting her moments. She's like wrap it off She was a tahto you think you're the closer you're the opener She goes hey opens for me You know the whole time She's like I'm gonna I'm gonna do one too. Yeah, that's what I mean. In her whole head, she's listening to this and she's going like, yeah. I think would you mind if I lay out a little, mind if I spit? We'll see.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Mind if I get on the mic? Are you gonna have a blessed mic a little bit? Ha ha ha ha. Hey, hey real quick, you mind if I bless the mic? Hambaleahuahmahawah. She goes, what does that mean? He goes nothing. It means absolutely nothing nothing you can find it
Starting point is 00:27:26 the spot I'm salmon I'm salmon that fucking song gets in your head but she does it again with a guy this guy comes in who's a new guy he has 10 days and he has like he when she does a language during the Indian guy he does he has a bad back and she's gonna heal him who's the the she, she, she was listening, I'm putting this stuff on your back right now.
Starting point is 00:27:49 He, he definitely thought he was gonna get a hand job with it. Oh, yes. 100% thought he was just gonna get jerked off and have sex with this girl. The fact guy. Yeah, the fact guy. Yeah. Who's the, who's the, my favorite on the whole show, by the way? Oh, he's only on for like two episodes or three episodes maybe, but he's in a, he's just the guy, he's perfect. He was sent in by the producers to not really believe in this thing because she's like, I want to put this on your back
Starting point is 00:28:13 and he's like, all right, what is that? She's like, it's piss from all the guys who live here. And he's like, that's not real. But he's like, he's like, she's putting potions on him. He's like, all right, it's bullshit though, right? You know that? Touch my packer. And then at some point, they said something about like the,
Starting point is 00:28:29 some allusion to a different God, not like Jesus Christ or whatever, and he's like, yo, I'm getting the fuck outta here. We did that did it for him. We see him packing his suitcase and his dumb tent up. Yeah, yeah, she started speaking the stuff to him. You know, it's just a rookie mistake, it's it is oh it's classic it's a goddamn rookie mistake when you start speaking a language that isn't a language yeah it's time for
Starting point is 00:28:52 you know maybe a snickers rookie mistake maybe you just need a snickers snickers the official chocolate bar of the NFL check out snickers dot com slash NFL to learn more hey a, a mask. Oh, what does Nika light language. Hama way. Oh, uh, uh,
Starting point is 00:29:09 uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
Starting point is 00:29:17 uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and it's top-end score. I wish there was technology. Like it just captured this moment right now.
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Starting point is 00:29:55 use them all the time. Oh no. Yes. Oh no. Yes. What is he gonna send? Oh god. What is in that phone? Sorry grandma. Wrong picture. Oops. But I'm becoming a man now. Sorry, grams. That's my dick must. Sorry grandma, me, me, sorry grandma, me, I'm just a bigger boy now. The frames do so very quick, so get yours before they're gone. That's aura frames a you are a frames dot com with the promo code bonfire terms and conditions do apply when did you start using the eagles of death metal bed music do that shit rips you know sit you left that you know that's not
Starting point is 00:30:32 sit you left it's a great song don't move don't yes i'm fucking i love that move that's on the garden though are like twos compared to it's terrible they're ugly people love as one love as one that's like Amy made them work out Well, they have a house they were all Also, Amy was pretty pretty heads up with the sex. She was like hey, we're doing a lot of fucking around here
Starting point is 00:30:52 Everyone was good looking. No, you're clouded by one the first things I said we're watching that's like wow That's a lot of ugly people On love is one to the other all the girls were cute and the guys weren't cheap You're telling me you would let father multiverse Throw it yeah You would tell you you let the marine fuck you East adjacent momo of cult. Yeah come on the multiverse card No, not not not
Starting point is 00:31:16 Not You give it to multiverse too if you watch the garden first and then immediately what like I did and then watch love is one Love is one cast is smoking hot. yeah garden is I'm a 30 people I'm coming right from lovers one I'm I was just there and I'm looking at this bunch of uh goes and they're shit in the hole they have no baby wipes they all have mustard in their butt at least they were squatting in houses in lovers one they have to we have like that brownish yellow crud on their ass cheeks because they're dry wiping into a hole in the ground with a leaf they use it they use it like a squirrel
Starting point is 00:31:51 that means occasionally while they're sleeping they feel a pinch and they realize it's poop in their butt here all the girls got wolf and pits to the girls and love is one are supposed to be girls yeah they're hot they want to be girls they were hot they were hot at one point two these girls are all fucking they have tattoos on their faces. It's a weird, it's a weird breed of people that go to the guy. That's why the guy, the best looking people, uh, two of the best looking people are the, the Thor guy, the Viking who shows up with his chick, who's a man to basically take the place over. I think she's a little, little person. Really? Very close. It's very big. And they have a black, uh, little person on very close. It's he's very little very big and they have a black
Starting point is 00:32:26 Little person on the show too that just came out of nowhere. Okay, just unannounced at some point There was a black midget he came and went. Yeah, just came in and he's gone. Hey What's up? I swear to you He was like he's a fun challenge, but I probably wouldn't do this again What's going on? I was gonna let y'all know y'all shit. Oh It's over for one. Well, he was hilarious good. What was going on. That's what I'm going to let y'all know y'all shit now. Oh, it is over for one. Well, he was hilarious. He was going on a little Leon.
Starting point is 00:32:48 I had to get going. This is where Burke got cabin from. The, the, the, the, the, the, the black midget actually is the funniest, uh, your man, your white people tripping. I'm out of here. Cause he's, well, what he does, they give his break down.
Starting point is 00:33:02 They show him, zooting up like Rambo, but it's for the nerdiest white concerns of camping that I would have also, but he does, they give his breakdown, they show him zooting up like Rambo, but it's for the nerdiest white concerns of camping that I would have also, but he's like, he's gonna live in a commune. He's like, okay, I brought my spoon and my alcohol wipes. And like, here's a hat I wear. So no creepy crawlies get on my skin at all. It's so funny.
Starting point is 00:33:19 But his tent, he's got a little pop up tent and no one helps him set it up. So it just blows away in the wind. Oh, and almost takes him with him at one point. It literally takes it. It almost takes him up in the air and he's got to go chase it down this field. I'm very excited to watch this shoot.
Starting point is 00:33:32 No one helps him. Nobody helps him. It's a it's a goodie. These cold shows are fantastic. I mean, the twin flame. Did you watch both twin flames? I watched two out of nine and watch both documentaries. Only watch one on Netflix.
Starting point is 00:33:46 There's a better one on Amazon Prime. Really, that guy's a great one too, Bobby. I think that's the next one I'm watching. Yeah, you get into that one. We'll do the true. The flames is pretty wild. The thing about the guy is a hateable dude. The thing about the guy that messes me up
Starting point is 00:33:59 is that these people that are coming into the commune, Thor, the fact that he's show me Thor and his tiny wife? The stupid chick, the dumb LA girl. They all think that they're going there to learn how to survive the zombie apocalypse. But they say zombie apocalypse, like it's a thing that's already been stated. Like it's going to happen.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Like it's a school semester. And they go there and they learn nothing. Like these people have nothing. Yeah, they find out that people just want to fucking like dance around a little bit. Yeah, I need like, like, like, spoiled meat. I have stews. Have old fucking sandwiches from subway. They got thrown out. Just do stew shits into a hole somewhere. It's just it does. It does. It does sound pretty kick ass having a random black little person show up. And I said, and the girls that are even like mildly attractive Trees wife the main guys are one of the main guys. She seems tree what is but you want to find a hateable person on any of these shows more the most hateable
Starting point is 00:34:56 Yeah, it's twin flame tree Now yes twin flame guy is the worst you're right because he's a little he's more in the face He's a bad person. He's a very bad tree is just a fucking dummy. Tree is a fucking in idiot. I'm excited to watch you. He's a tree's an asshole. He's a he's just an ira. I'm so late, but I'm gonna watch at least one of us.
Starting point is 00:35:15 He also grew up going to like, he grew up in a commune and his parents would take him. They're called like rainbow gather. No, that's Patrick. That's the main guy. No, tree tree was just a piece of shit in England and then wound up signing this that
Starting point is 00:35:30 British accent can get you listening to some dumb shit though he's just a he brain of the Irish maybe Irish yeah he's like a ginger like freckle white mecca he's just got a wacky haircut and he just he wants to be out there he can't
Starting point is 00:35:42 understand like the whole half the show is him trying to throw this fuck party and all the main people there are like buddy. And he's like an OG member and I'm like buddy, this is about like self-sustaining, like living. And you know, I mean, getting our own water supply and our blah, blah, blah, blah and survival. You know what I mean? He's like, yeah, and we did so much.
Starting point is 00:36:02 We should celebrate with a big fuck orgy. Yeah, that's exactly it. And then he throws much, we should celebrate with a big fuck orgy. Yeah, that's exactly it. And then he throws like the party, it's not a fuck orgy. You know, it's like, throw everybody gets drunk and then the people who are super serious, just were super serious about it and basically want him to move on. So they're gonna boot him.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Yeah, one guy fell in the fire. That's great. It's a reality show, but they're filming definitely. These are dumb. Well, they started to film. This isn't like the real world where it's like, at the end it was like producers really pushing narratives here. This is like they they dummies in the wild the red headed guy had it had a The red headed guy had a tick-tock that got popular and it was in the garden their original place and it got popular and then The internet turned on them and started calling them a cult and started you know doing all this weird shit
Starting point is 00:36:46 So they will agreed to do this to show the world that they're not and they're also opening up their doors to Anyone can come any any walk a life can come so that's why the new days like we could all join we could go We have 10 days and at the end of the 10 days they vote and you get 10 seconds of silence. That is sexy. Who they kept out of out of the six of us, the seven of us. Isn't it wildlife that these people are shitting in a hole in the woods and like literally you bought a a a kiss jacket for you and your son at the last. Jackets insane. That's such a good jacket. That's the same. I mean, just puts things in perspective. Yeah. I'd rather be doing what we did.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'm gonna wear a money on it. Oh, I'm gonna wear a money on it. Oh, I'm gonna wear a money on it. Oh, I'm gonna wear a money on it. I'm gonna wear a money on it. I'm gonna wear a money on it. I'm gonna wear a money on it. I'd rather be doing what we did.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. Me and Max have two awesome kiss jackets. I'd rather be doing what we did. I'd rather be doing what we did. Fuck you get me. There's a great scene in the garden Fucking get me scumbag There's a girl like you said there's a girl from LA your dirty tits They all have dirty Weird dirty girl dirty dehydrated nipple tits.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Yeah, I know. A guy, the Viking guy and his chick, like also when she, she comes out like after a couple episodes of the wife and joins him. Yeah. They're, they like being naked and doing that whole thing. So they're just sitting naked by a naked one point and like the girl from California who's literally there.
Starting point is 00:38:24 I mean, she's doing that stuff. She said she wasn't bad. Yeah as far as like roughing it and making it work But she will be wearing like a shirt that says like Malibu and stuff and like in jeans designer glasses and she has Manicred fingernails, but every day one keeps coming off. So the first day she's missing one by day four She has like three left. That's great. So she, she just goes out there and they're like, sit down. So she like sits next to them and he was awkwardly given the pitch for like a three similar to show. They're like, you know, she's allowed to be with women.
Starting point is 00:38:55 That's I can't provide for her what a woman can. You know, the parts, but the only catches, you know, I always kind of join in or something like that. There they go. Is that something you would like to do? Or she's like, no. And they go, and they go, and they go, and they go, and they go, and they go, and they, but their, their reactions almost like, good, you'll think on it. She's like, no, I don't want that at all.
Starting point is 00:39:19 It goes, we'll take that as a soft yes. Well, you know what, in the daytime, nose at night turned to yeses. So, well, let's regroup. Let's just get, let's get some air. Oh. All her fingernails are in the shit pile. Yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Also, I'm pretty sure I have a yeast infection from pissing that close to shit. Oh. They all have to shit. And here's the thing, you can get an outhouse delivered for like 50 bucks a week, and they come and just change it out. Wait, really? Yeah, when we were putting the tiny house in,
Starting point is 00:39:51 one of the options was just getting an outhouse and they come and take it once a week and clean it. They just pick up your shit and leave. Yeah, they just get an outhouse and they pick your shit up, clean it out and you have a brand new shitter. And it was $50 a week. I made that up and I didn't know
Starting point is 00:40:04 you're gonna investigate Sherlock Dan. Well, I just wanna know. I'm sorry. Maybe I it was $50 a week. I made that up and I didn't know you're going to investigate Sherlock Dan. Well, I just want to know. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm trying to start a business. Maybe I want to start delivering poor bodies. It might be a hundred a month. No, no, no, it's a Bobby. I'm just going to tell you this right now. No, that's not covered in the overhead. You got I think it's a hundred a month. It would be 15 week is a lot To have a portal party just to come and suck out the shit and then we're not just coming and sucking out this They got to bring a big fucking truck. Well, they bring a truck that has a hose that has a hose. It sucks the shit out Yeah, you're right. Can we find out how much it cost guys? We just buy one. It's buy one for the studio That'd be sick just out front 48. You know, we could start
Starting point is 00:40:45 a our own commune up on my land. You and I have spoke about this on you know what dude. Yeah. You don't realize we're sitting across from the guy that we said would be the best cold leader. Oh, you'd be the best Jay. On an episode of you know, it would be a prevalent. You know what exactly. That's why you'd be the leader. That's why. Yeah. That's why we and it would have to be it would be someone behind you that would be evil Yeah, for sure pulling the strings. I'll have all good intentions for I want everybody to have the same things Yeah, Christine's like not the same same Like Jack most of the same, but we not all the same. I'm not letting somebody use my purse
Starting point is 00:41:23 Not all the same. I'm not letting somebody use my purse Yeah, this is the commune fucking Louis. We got to go to Sotar's light speech Some by the James Flem flame James is gonna do Ronnie Dangerfield doing light language I I'm telling you, I'm gonna be the monkey go! HUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBBUBB Yeah, they're all meant with a good Scientology's the best cult ending you can get just going That's the best ending being exempt from taxes But I mean the mother love bone They say it's they say it's a cool what's this? Oh, that hitting on her? This is them hitting on
Starting point is 00:42:21 Yeah, they like to do naked acrobatics Who is this is that that's Viking and his chick?'s Viking and his chick they can't she's around she's Yeah, four foot one and he's seven foot tall. I'm gonna tell you right now back when they're in the regular world They had shit drinks at their house. Oh, oh you would go hanging out. You're like I guess let's take a water Yeah, I don't want kombucha Acorn juice? Yeah. We made this. This is wine we made with our dogs paws
Starting point is 00:42:49 stomping on the grapes. Here you go. That's the fuck they're warm. There you can really see the size difference. That is, is she a little person? No, but she's probably like some little woman. She's very small. She's very big and she's very small,
Starting point is 00:43:02 so it makes it look bigger. It's an optical illusion. And of course, she's a professional private investigator, by the way. He's obsessed with her, though. Where you staying? Yeah, it's kind of a hot relationship. It's like a whole master blaster kind of thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Who runs, bought a chair? So yeah, watch theness is the best. I don't understand why she doesn't know. I'm spotted down. So yeah, watch this is the best. I don't understand why she doesn't. She's a pale pale. Everything is every step she takes, it looks like she's a pale. Yeah, yeah. She's got designer kind of everything on it.
Starting point is 00:43:33 She has a water bottle in her bag. Hey guys. Sorry, so. I was just gonna like get a tan. Like, yeah, maybe use my floaty. I'll do too. Not bring anything soon. I think I didn't think. I'm just gonna like get it Yeah, no, that's fine. She has zero comfortable energy in this. She's not comfortable She's like um, so your tits are just out You guys not constantly. Jacob. You have to say what it is
Starting point is 00:44:02 Mother fuck I mean, listen to this. It was a rookie mistake. It was a rookie mistake. It was a rookie mistake. Jay, a rookie mistake. Let me tell you something. It's time for a rookie mistake. That's all.
Starting point is 00:44:13 We had a couple of things going on. And we made a rookie mistake, radio wise. And you know what? It's brought to you by Snickers. Rookie mistake. Maybe you just need a Snickers. A Snickers, the official chocolate bar of the NFL. So check out Snickers.com slash NFL and we'll learn more over there.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Okay. I can't explain enough. You got this, all this is fucking crazy to do in the bathroom. I do not have to. I do not have to. Both of you. I was. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Just say it. I'm not gonna say on the air, I just want you to do a read. Okay, but you say, guys, time to do a read. All when you're just distracting, it's fucking. Time to do a read. That's not time to do a read. That's not time to do a read all when you're just distracting It's time to do a read that's right. I don't know what you mean. Yeah Yeah, but we could do them before the top of the hour. We still have another 10 more minutes of fun. I'm happy buddy I'm happy Christmas times here everybody Time to get yourself a natural earth-born diamond stud from
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Starting point is 00:46:18 I hate Fire real natural diamonds. I love them. Fire real natural diamonds from a real juror You can trust Steven Singer jurors.'s i hate steven singer dot com dan dan would buy a fake a nice fake diamond good website nice fake and you know why is that do read now and lu argued with me sure why is that my show for the first time in the shows history of you up level reads today we have ten nice what i only think was i wanted to spread them out so that we didn't have eight minutes back to back for our listeners sure That's all well, you know you know you get a lot of you
Starting point is 00:46:52 Jacob Jacob 10 reads We've never known we've never known you have a bundle you up reads be level reads before the first I keep reading your reads like they got 10 I don't think they even got 10 so I don't know why you can't know So that was how to that's our dead name. That's our old channel. We never had 10 reads. You. You, you, it's a different show, Dan. You.
Starting point is 00:47:12 I get it. You guys are cooking. Well, we're cooking. I walked so you could run. It's a 10 reads. You have a microphone. You could literally say to us, because we love you. We love you.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Jacob, I love you. I love you. Take the send. I love you. Yes. I love you. I I don't know what kind of cool shit. I'm sorry here since I left in March. I'm sorry. That's all hands. Everyone's your own hands. Jay's apologizing. I want to say this speaking in light languages. Can we take a vote right now that Jacob from now on Has to say something when he instead of making Google eyes or hand gestures, he has to use his voice in the mic. 10 seconds please. Jacob 10 seconds please.
Starting point is 00:47:56 It is law. It is law. It is law. Jacob you have to speak. Garden law. Garden law. It's a bond fire law. It's official garden law.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Garden law This is them hitting on her This is great So She's like I'm Hmm I better ask that we usually get naked
Starting point is 00:48:14 Stumbling upon Heather and Tyler in the woods Completely naked Was shocking So you ever been naked in public? I like clothes personally and I feel she's a little bit. 25.
Starting point is 00:48:30 I think it's you, Gilder. You care less. Probably like the older you, like the less, the longer you go. All right. You got a flea on your nipple. Oh, bleh. Oh, bleh.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Got it. It was definitely interesting to see like how open they are with their bodies and how expressive they are. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:48:50 I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:48:58 I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so these people here are so happy. And they, she's just, I don't wanna be rude.
Starting point is 00:49:06 I thought I was making a pretty good point. You have ants crawling into your butt. There is a line of ants marching into your labia. I hate the sing song. Everything is a song. Right. By the way, I also love it goes, you won't care as much if you get older
Starting point is 00:49:20 and have a pretty great body. Yeah. Because if you get older, you don't even care about being naked. If you have a pretty great body. Yeah. She goes, if you get older, you don't even care about being naked. If you have a pretty great body, and if you cut some carbs. Week 13 years. She goes, real quick.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Week 13 when you have an eaten at all and you lose all that fat weight on you right now, you'll get naked. You're such a baby, you still have baby arms. Yeah. We sure know that. What you got a jiggly baby teenage fat? She goes, you're going to be all right.
Starting point is 00:49:44 Yeah, you're going gonna throw away that onesie and that sweater you're wearing? I'm waiting for him to go, uh-oh, someone woke up. Oh, looks like the newest cult member's away. Oh, looks like the real leader just woke up. Hey, if you can pick up this hammer, you're a god. Yeah. You're gonna speak some light language.
Starting point is 00:50:01 You're gonna speak some light language? You wanna see if you can remove X-calve it from You do it Good what part of the country is this man? It's in I believe it Tennessee, right? Oh, did they go to Tennessee? I'm a guy's from Tennessee is it is in St. Louis? No, St. Louis. This is an in St. Louis. Is it Missouri? Is it in Missouri? I might be Missouri. I think it might be a St. Louis arc bounce. Yeah, Missouri. They went from Tennessee. I believe they're in Tennessee and then they went to Missouri? I think it might be Missouri. It might be Missouri. It's the Ozark Mountains. Yeah, Missouri. They went from Tennessee, I believe. They were in Tennessee and then they went to Missouri.
Starting point is 00:50:28 Trying to think about the... Yeah, St. Louis is like the crypts and the bloods. Yeah. I think that's where they dosed your tie. I think it is something. Yeah, I think it is a city to go to. St. Louis? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Oh my god. Play this. Oh, check. Like physical things. They have experiences. I've also like been on my phone way less and just like the big deal. I've had a lot less anxiety.
Starting point is 00:50:51 I think you kind of start to realize that a lot of it is in your head. Mm-hmm. I'm telling you, how do you say when they just say nothing at all? You realize that life is thoughts and thoughts lead to action and that's all you need to know. That actually makes sense to me.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Everything. I did fucking bury that. Everything's blue, so it's purple. I don't know. It's imperative. You know what I'm saying? She said earlier today, no, it's nothing.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Yeah, I'm gonna buy it. Fib, I'm yam, I'm scared. Can you see me? Slap it around, you can, I speak John. You can't. Man, I speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John.
Starting point is 00:51:30 You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can just speak John. You want to slap it around, you can make the world anything that you want it to be. You're like, we don't really have a job,
Starting point is 00:51:45 but it's like build a society. Like, we don't have anything really tying us down. Her telling her dad this on the phone, where he's going like, I like you living Rome for two years. What else do you have to do? You goofy bitch. Why can't you just go get a job and earn money?
Starting point is 00:52:01 Can I get my 160,000 back for you dumb college? You would see Smele ask you are to North. Because you were to Northwestern. You're fucking expensive that is. Hey, remember driving to the Ozark Mountains in your fucking G-Wagon I got you if you promised because you said you go to school for two years at least. Oh my god, your fucking mother's gonna kill you. Remember that food program? I said, I said,. I said extra $10,000 a semester you dumb chubby bitch She got a court on blue. She has a backseat though that it looks like a juicer. That's a that's actually a Could be a skin tag. That's a that's a skin tag
Starting point is 00:52:34 I don't know about that. That could be a fat pimpe could be a juicer, but it could be a tag I'll tell you what that's gonna. I know either way it hurts to lay on snobby I know she shifts to her side when she hits I know that when she takes her shirt off it gets hooked on that Sorry, it's snagged the sweater She's my back hook got it you woke up one day her dog was chewing on it. Oh, sorry good. Yeah, no no stop Marcus. No Marcus are alias No, no stop Marcus. No, yeah, Marcus are alias Did I want to see this how they're like so anyway? I'm sucking fun. I get to it. He turned I mean you can see he's like he is what he's doing
Starting point is 00:53:16 He's letting her Take the lead like the cold talk. You know, I mean that he comes and he goes hey look anything you see here I mean that he comes that he goes hey look anything you see here Jay I mean you are you are a veteran of three sums right now he would be getting ice and putting it in the ice trace He hangs right in there. No, this is a different thing. This is the initial like talk to This is the initial talk. This is this is the launch box. I would not be retired from three So I said he's he's a he's got a veteran veteran. But uh, these explain the steps. So I was trying to see this guy here is not I'd be nowhere near this conversation. I'm
Starting point is 00:53:56 just guys and nowhere near that naked and nowhere near that. I'm top there. Just hinting at him would both be in black. I'd be wearing a snuggie with sweatpants over it. This scene she goes, oh, so you guys lay at the lake fully closed. Yeah. So anyway, do you want to suck pussy's with her? Or whatever? I'll take this hoodie off if you want to fuck around.
Starting point is 00:54:18 No, when Christine ruled she would fucking engage that conversation. I could split. I wouldn't even know what's happening sometimes sometimes and she'd come back and be like, this girl's totally in. But I wouldn't be sitting there as part of the pitch. Because I'm always taking back too when me and my ex-girlfriend, a girl that she worked with,
Starting point is 00:54:39 my ex-girlfriend worked with a K-Mart, who I thought was cute. She goes, that girl's boyfriend, one of like, couple swap with us. And I was like, yeah, totally, that's great. And that guy giving us the, we were there already. And he was giving us the pitch. I was like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Like the guy giving the pitch. Yeah, it's really just like, you know, it's a physical thing of just bodies having fun exploring. Not a fool, you gotta be in a carpeted band. Hey, hey, West, I don't think if we fucking swap right now, it's gonna make our lives. It was just such a, I was such a drama to the thing if you're like, yeah, man, we're taking the leap dude, you're gonna fuck my chicken. I'm gonna get chicken. We'll see what I, I didn't even love it that time at all. I was definitely like that kind of sucked the situation, but I was like Still like the next day. I was like fine. You know, I mean it didn't like like haunt my
Starting point is 00:55:30 Dread like the the drama the high drama It's face is so he can't believe she hasn't got he's mad at her for not getting to a quicker already really Yeah, oh, should we do have to we'll come we'll watch this when we come back Yeah, we have to get break we don't want Jacob to start doing hand gestures again He's not well. Yeah, he gave the right one now. No, he was given the break. Oh, he gave the right one Yeah, breaks fine. All good with that Um, but we did take a consensus a community that you're gonna say stuff from now on Yeah, but I figure break you love breaking I do like breaking hands also he does this so it's kind of like a handjob break hands
Starting point is 00:56:04 Break hand we'll be right back. We're hanging out with Dan Sotar everybody He's gonna be at the Royal Oak music theater in Michigan Friday, December 8th. That's this weekend everybody After that Atlanta Redback, New Jersey and Philadelphia on the horizon get tickets at dan sotar.com Robert Kelly live dot com for tickets and his word dates for him. He's gonna be in Daniel Beach, Florida at the improv, December 15th to 16th. And after that Fort Wayne Indiana, one night two shows that his new year's Eve, Fort Wayne Indiana, Saratoga Springs and Wisconsin for tickets and tour dates again,
Starting point is 00:56:33 robbercowellive.com. Yeah, make sure a big joke, or so he's gonna be in Houston, Providence, Pittsburgh, New Year's Eve, for tickets and all other tour dates, yeah. No. What? No, I'm gonna be in Houston.
Starting point is 00:56:43 Yeah, Houston, Prov Houston yeah Houston this weekend okay Providence and Pittsburgh yeah Christine actually wrote it terribly it's not my fault I read I just read it you know it's just it Pittsburgh New Year's Eve weekend you go to big J comedy you'll find out and find out and Dan Soda has a brand new show it's a podcast it's it's called so the new Soda show and I new show. It's a podcast. It's called Soda. The new Soda show. And I was on it, you were on it. And you did it.
Starting point is 00:57:09 And you did it. Wherever you get podcasts, you can listen to it. So check it out. A great little bite-sized podcast. A little bite-sized. You can read it, you can read it, right? You can listen to it on the way to the store. My episode is,
Starting point is 00:57:18 Are they hour and hour each? It's coming up. It's 40 minutes. And then we just put the extra footage on YouTube. Oh nice. Because why not? I know everyone's like just releasing the extra footage on YouTube. Oh nice. Thanks. Why not? I know everyone's like just releasing an hour and it'll probably end up in there. We'll be back everybody with more.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Oh my, yeah. Oh my, yeah. So bye. So good job, adabba. Let's give it a day of adabba. Shibalabba, you made sure. I made sure. I made sure.
Starting point is 00:57:39 The last is a number, don't you. Oh, one good day and let's be. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you.
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