The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Eating Money (feat. TuRae Gordon)

Episode Date: August 9, 2024

TuRae is a comic, Philly legend, and a guy who came up in the same circles as Big Jay. They have stories of the early days with Kevin Hart. One time, TuRae got arrested with Kev and someone had to dispose of counterfeit money. All this Philly reminiscing leads to everyone making fun of Keith Robinson. *To hear the full show and subscribe to SXM go to www.siriusxm.com/bonfire FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big J Elkerson and Robert Kelly Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Damn hip-hop Bobby rules. Yeah, the bonfire faction talk series exit 103 Elkerson Robert Kelly hanging out with you. We have a great guest this unit is very exciting for me first time on the bonfire He's gonna be at the Baltimore Comedy Factory August 2nd to the 4th he also has a monthly comedy brunch show at brunch so fun 2 n's FUNN brunch so FUNN at City Winery. Good good good well that would make more sense yes where's Christine I need to yell at her. She just did it. No yelling can be done.

She's been yelled at enough. She fixed it. Damn it. That's happening in Philly, New York and Pittsburgh. It is the great, hilarious Ture Gordon everybody. Thank y'all man. Thank y'all for having me. It bothered me when he came in and I went to hug him and I had to go on my tippy toes. Yeah, but I bent down to meet you. You did? I still had to go on my tippy toes?

I did. I gave you a little bit of something. Yeah, man. Hi, y'all guys, man. Thank y'all for having me. Absolutely. I appreciate this so much. We're coming off a wild night. We went to go see Limp Bizkit and Corey Feldman

last night at PNC Arena, all of us. Okay. Very, very fun show. Corey Feldman's a lunatic. Okay. But we go to laugh at Corey Feldman. I'm waiting for you to go, this is where you would be interested.

No, no, no, here's where you would be interested. Okay, yeah. Is I'm curious to ask you on the same, I know you've done a lot of crossover music stuff, also doing comedy with performers. Even back when we said The Roots used to be at, what was it called, New Market Cabaret. New Market Square and the TLAA,

yeah they used to play small venues. But they used to do the comedy shows. Yeah. Even they would come and play. Which was amazing. And I'm like, where, it's very few places I can go, like the level of famous that we are is in small scale in the sense that those moments where you get to a place

where you do reign supreme, it feels so good. And that was last night for us at Limp Bizkit. Okay. I was gonna say, where do you go, when you know when you go somewhere, you're like, I don't have to worry here. It's gonna that was last night for us at Limp Bizkit Okay, I was gonna say that where do you go when you know when you go somewhere? You're like, I don't have to worry here. It's gonna be pretty good here for anywhere. There's chubby people with tattoos where they should Lately for me has been these brunches man, like it's I'm the age now where you know, I'm a targeted audience like People don't want to be back in the house by four o'clock That's who I'm at the age now where I'm a targeted audience. People that want to be back in the house by four o'clock. That's who I'm messing with now.

Used to be Sunday night at midnight. Now it's Sunday at four. Sunday at noon, back in by four. But yeah, man, I know when I'm around Philly at certain events, the Roots Picnic, stuff like that where I can go and, oh, that's the comedy guy, and whatever, whatever, because people still don't know your name.

It feels great and you have to do this, you have to go. Yeah, good to see you, I love what you do. And then you get the one that makes you offset, do you still do comedy? Last night, we didn't talk about this. I know, I know you're gonna bring this up. We didn't talk about this. I'm glad we didn't talk about it yet.

Two Ray should hear this one. I should hear this one. I got something to tell you too, it's a great story. I might need it to build me back talk about this. I'm glad we didn't talk about it yet. Well, well. To Ray should hear this one. I should hear this one. I got something to tell you too. It's a great story. I just heard. Well, I might need it to build me back up after this. Yeah, it will.

It will. Definitely will. Well, maybe, probably not. But you haven't heard it yet. Not in your eyes, Bobby, but I'm telling you. When I tell it, watch. We were rock stars last night. I mean, there were such great fans.

Cool. From ONA to Skanks to YKWD to Bonfire, everybody was coming up, love you, and they're such nice fans, they're the greatest fans. And we were hanging out, taking pictures, it was great, all night long. Overwhelming. Overwhelming where you're like,

oh God, you kinda feel weird, I'm not, you know. Going back to our seats after all this to go watch the last Band Olympus, as we're going back, they have a guy with a camera crew, the host, and a microphone going in the crowd, and it's up on the Trinitrons. And they go to a lady, what do you wanna say? Who do you wanna say hi to?

She goes, Bobby Kelly and Big Jay Oakeson from the Bonfire. I mean, we lit up. We lit up, waving, right? People like, wow. I found my people. We go to sit in our chairs, the band's about to come on. It's been hours, hours of picture taking, shaking hands.

In the parking lot. I mean, fans coming over just hanging, I mean, nonstop greatness, good feeling. And we sit down in our seats and a guy comes walking up with his girlfriend. And he says, walks right by Josh. He's going down the aisle, the one that we're sitting in, he's coming through.

Walks by Josh, then he comes to me, he's like, sorry buddy, excuse me, I just gotta, I gotta say hi, I gotta give him a hug, I gotta, and I'm like, all right, fine, you know, doesn't say nothing to me, which always, I don't care about that. Right, right, but you do, you know, a little bit like. Oh, in my heart I do by myself, alone at night.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do, yes. A little bit, a little bit. Yeah, and he, whatever, and he's like, I just gotta give him a hug, and I'm like, ah, he's going to say hi to Big Jay, he knows Big Jay, he loves Big Jay. Big Jay stands up, Jay, you can take it over from here.

Mm, mm, I was standing up already, thank God. It's one of those stories, huh? Oh no, I wasn't standing up, you're right, I did. I stood up. He stood up. I embraced him with such. Straighten your clothes out? Oh, no, I wasn't standing. You're right. I did. I stood up. You stood up. I embraced him with such... Straighten your clothes out?

I go, I gave him the handshake of the, another hand on top of the other hand, and like a real nod of like, I was like, if there's no you, I don't get to do what I do. It was like when the king met... Grace, you welcomed him with grace. And then after this, gave him... When King Arthur met Sir Lancelot, and he came in, he grabbed him, thank you for it. As I'm doing the handhold, then I go, I guess,

still head down humbly, and pull him in for the shoulder hug, too, and I was like, I was like, thank you, man, and he's like, okay, and then he just goes past and starts shaking hands and high-fiving the guy who was there to actually see had nothing to do with me at all because it's not like another famous guy, it's just a civilian. It was a guy, just a guy. It's a civilian, you know what I mean?

It's a civilian. So the guys go like, sorry man, I gotta go say hi though, I gotta go. And you understand, he's gotta say hi to him. I lit up like a fucking firefly. Me and Josh were like, ah! Show over, you can take me. Jay slowly sat down.

I seen it all. Jay slowly sat down. I've seen it all Looked off into the distance just thinking about this guy. This guy must be like why is that guy fucking hugging me? I do it I do it so you guys can get through your hard days of work And it makes me happy to make you guys happy on a much lesser level I don't like it like when you go when the when you don't know how to handshake or embrace is and you overdo it. Like when it's normally just a pound or whatever and I pull you in and you stiffen up. I really feel like, then I feel like an idiot. Like, shit, I didn't have to shake it.

Because you had the whole time. I'm bad at meet and greets anyway. Right. Because I feel like a robot. That's my big thing. I feel like I'm saying the same thing too much Even though I mean it if I don't know what else to say. Yeah, it's like yeah So you do that and greet thing and then yeah, there's that one. You're too like much

You're more for them. You go you go my man You're going you start in your body and he's holding firm and you're like, I'm gonna go hug you I'm a hugger right? You gotta explain it at my height everything's exaggerate the hands'm a hugger. Right, right, then you gotta explain it. At my height, everything's exaggerated, the hands coming from way up, it's like oh god. So I'm at the point though where I'm not, I have some fame, but I'm not famous famous, where everybody in line is there to see me.

So I'm waiting for that wife to go, I'm good. I'm waiting for the diss. So I'm always like, hey thank you very much, and waiting for that person. That's my fear, because you know, I'm still stuck in black comedy, so it's bad. Me too. Because I introduce myself all the time. I be like, hey, you know I'm too red.

People are like, I know you are, but it's always going to be that one day I'm too red and black, so. Yes. Or you know who I am, they go no, I don't It's crazy man, and it's funny I was just telling somebody that's on flights like when the flight take off I'm somebody else like unless you know me Yeah It's it's much easier just to be somebody else to explain to somebody you're a comedian

They've never heard of because then it's like well, what have you been on? It's like I've been on this Well, do you know? Yeah, I know that it's like so it's like I last time I went to say, you know, somebody hurt So yeah, I was gonna go you know, they always you know, Kevin. Yes Actually, I do because you actually do know all Things also and you have that to like Kevin all the guys are more famous to me You know, but say and Kevin was the first experience you had, which we've all had, of someone who's like, you're kinda like mentoring and then zipping by.

Then they're superstars. So there's a lot of that, that's the worst when you get like, do I get those? Because you get questioned for it, like yo. Sixers gave me two seats this year, first time ever, under the basket, on court, it felt amazing. The guy I was sitting next to was a, was it JP Morgan or something, guy? He stayed in touch, actually, which was pretty neat.

Now we're trying to make the connection, but just sitting there, he's like, he's wondering why I'm there, looking how I look with my daughter. And I'm like, you know, he's like, what's it? I go, oh, and you go, it's like, all right, I'm a comedian, I do comedy. And he goes, man, it's like, you know,

he goes, I love comedy, man. He goes, Nate Bargatze? You know Nate Bargatze? You're like, yeah, sure. Nate Bargatze. You know, Nate Bargatze. Yeah, sure. Nate Bargatze was in my wedding and I brought him on the road to open for me. Can you know me first? My last claim to fame with Nate is I fell asleep in his room.

I'm on just for laughs. Had a whole party going on in my room. I come over to Nate's for ice and never made it back to my room. So fucking weird. Quick story for you. Yo, so yesterday a student of mine, Eric Preston, who's down at Punchline this week with a... You're from Philadelphia Comedy College. Yeah, Philadelphia Comedy College, but he's down, he's doing hosting for Clint. What is that?

Yeah, I got a little thing called Philadelphia Comedy College. What is it? It's a comedy class. It's a comedy class. It's like a comedy class. Yeah, 10 weeks, joining us. It's nice. How much? About a stack of class. It's like a comedy class. Yeah, 10 weeks joining us. It's nice. How much?

About a stack of heads. Can I get a discount? No, you can't. You don't do that at this class. Not for the people that can afford it. But I mean it's 10 weeks. It's very intense. It's definitely something that if you, you know.

Is it like a whiplash? Do you hit them? No, I don't do it. Keith does the breathing exercise with them and all that. And I'd be like, yo, if you bombing, all the breathing exercise with him and all that and I'd be like yo if you bomb it All the breathing in the world No, Jesus Christ Keith, he's a patient Stupid and then I'm like, no, okay. Nobody can take notes, right? So exactly somebody has to take I got Charles Walton on notes

But anyway, let's so Some of my favorite comic stories. I'm telling you, dude, riding with Charles Walton is useless. He can't pay the toll. He can't write down no instructions. Charles, for anybody that doesn't know,

Charles has cerebral pals. Yes, yes. I'm not taking a shot. I'm just saying. Oh, no. But I mean. If you're going to ride, you shouldn't really be able to change the music.

What's up? Like, you can't. Patrice O'Neill and Keith Robinson. Give me something here, Chuck. Patrice O'Neill and Keith Robinson coming to Lafayette. He came to do Caroline's one night. That story about when he fell in the, he fell down the Caroline's, which is like exorcist stares.

I mean, it's just non-stop. They hard steel unforgiving. And it has a turn and an end. Doom, doom. He went down the whole thing. He hit them all. He hit them all. He turned and everything.

And then Patrice, just the wrong people for a thing, because they call Patrice and Keith To take them to the emergency room. And they start telling me he has to wear a helmet if he's gonna do comedy in Times Square So funny, but love so Eric Preston who was a student posted he said yeah last night I pulled my pants down on stage, and I didn't get any laughs I don't know how to feel about that, and I thought about you I don't know how to feel about that and I thought about you Oh, yeah Jay when Jay first started he started out at the laugh house in Philly at a Thursday night like a showcase night

I'm blazing blazing Thursdays and oh no blazing. He was blazing No, no, no for Thursdays could say something and there's nothing in there is nothing in at all In common in mainstream open my comedy that will ever compare to what the, I lucked, that's a luck out. That's why y'all so fearless now. To start off on those Thursday open, I didn't understand what, I had to go to the Stress Factory on a Wednesday and go,

wait, where's the DJ and the 300 people in the audience? And they go, what? It's just other comics here and a couple college kids. And I'm like, what? There's no, I go, but I have a couple music cues. They go, for what? And there's just some white guy in and I'm like, what? There's no, I go, but I have a couple music cues. They go, for what? And there's some white guy in a booth going like, I guess I'll hit this CD at whatever minute for you,

but I don't know what this is. Yo, he said for what? Yo, that's hilarious. I go, well, I got this joke where I say, this song is crazy because it says this. He goes, but can't you just tell him? He said for what? Yo, I never thought of that.

When I used to host at the cellar, there was a couple of dudes who had the music used. Oh my god. But the fucking CD player, the tape player was in the back. And you had to squeeze into that little room, and I was too fat. I had to go in right as they went up just to squeeze in and hold my breath until that moment and push play.

That's talking. That's queuing it up for real. Well, so anyway, so when Big J first started, it was Thursday night, it was crowd applause with Judge the Winner or whatever. And he killing, like he killing three, four Thursdays in a row, this fourth Thursday he goes, I guess, you know, reaches for something,

but he got the tapples, the tassels on the nipple. Oh no. What? Was it two different nights that you? Well, it was two different things that were happening here. Here's what happened at the time. It's great. What? I'll tell you what's happening. What's happening? Was it two different nights that you? Well, it was two different things that were happening here. Here's what happened at the time.

It's great. What? I'm fucked up right now. You're gonna love this. As I said, you're gonna love this, too. And you're making fun of Corey Feldman? No. Exactly.

Yeah, but he's 50-something years old. He should have figured it out by now. Right, he should have figured it out by now. But, um... Staying your lane. No, so it's just such a multi-tiered thing. So, there you go. Keith, I met Keith Roberts.

So I'm doing a bit at the end of my set for a while. That is murder. It's my staple. That's right. I play a 2001 theme. I get down to my underwear posing like a bodybuilder. Yeah. Murdered.

It destroyed. If I knew this a year ago, I would have said no to the bonfire. Of course. You're supposed to. That's why I said, you glad you glad I'm here. When I put people through opening for them, so I would get down to my underwear and pose. And it would murder.

It would do so well. And then Keith Robinson goes, I opened for, I met Keith the night I met Keith Robinson. We did a gig for Michael Blackson in Minneapolis. And I was like, I did met Keith, the night I met Keith Robinson, we did a gig for Michael Blackson in Minneapolis, and I was like, I did really well on the show, and Keith did really well, but I did like more explosive, because I knew how to work the black rooms more, and it was a black room.

And so when I got off, Keith's, while people, I mean, while these people come over to take pictures with me in front of like an airbrushed picture of like a poor man or something. The steps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The steps up to the stairway up to heaven. Sometimes there'll be a picture of Tupac, like, Brain Hands.

Are you still in your underwear? No. Oh, OK. No, not anymore. But Keith's doing like, he's like, yeah, man, goes, you're a funny dude. I've seen you at the Laugh House before. He's like, but you got to stop doing all this, like,

performative, blah, blah, blah. He's like, you need to get better at, like, comedy first, you know, actual comedy. And I'm like, and I remember going and calling Kevin Hart outside of that place. And I'm like, this guy here is, like, blah. He's like, you need to get better at comedy first, actual comedy, and I'm like, and I remember going and calling Kevin Hart outside of that place and I'm like, hey, this guy here is like, headlining and he's telling me all this stuff, but I'm like, fuck that, dude, this thing killed.

I'll just kill this. But he got in my head enough that I was like, I was like, all right, maybe I should stop doing it. Then I'm not doing well, not doing well, but I'm like, I have no confidence and I don't have a closing, big performance thing that would murder. And now I'm just relying on my jokes,

which isn't great at the time, so I'm panicking that. And then one day, what Ture is talking about, I go, hmm, I'm not doing the, at least I'm not taking my pants off anymore. I do a bit, I plan to do something big. I tied string around my neck and taped it above my nipples, living a little slack of string, because before I went on stage, I went in the back and I brought in my nipples, get living a little slack of string. Because before I went on stage,

I went in the back and I brought in a book bag, two big aluminum foil rings, all because lack of jokes just wanted me to go, at the end of my set I'd be like, blah, blah, blah, punch line. And I go, hey guys, before I get outta here real quick, I'm standing like this the whole set, because I don't want people to see

that I have these giant rings. And I go, hey guys, I got a piercing, what do you think does this look good at all and I just lifted my shirt and show these stupid fake nipple rings the crowd was not into it at all and then and then me and Toure like black crowds will turn on you when they realize you've wasted their time. It's like, oh, this motherfucker not funny, man. It was like, but it's all quiet. It happens quietly and emotionally. If you really got the piercings, they would have laughed. But they knew you made a prop.

And then whenever I tell the story, I always say Ture's name because then, by chance of just years later coming back to the laugh, not years later, I'm sorry, like within that year, me and Ture, it shouldn't have happened, but it was me and you in the finals of the Def Jam thing or something contest. And I was very nervous going against Ture,

because Ture's like, I brought us on stage, but I'm like, I'm not gonna win this, nor did I. But I was like, I'm not gonna win this, but I was like, I gotta try. And then I'm telling the other comics, I go, I'm bringing back the body building bit. And they go, well, I'm not gonna. I got it. I want to win this thing It's like I love to ray, but I got a guy. I want to hurt him, but

What you got to do now what they do is they take us out of blazing Thursdays for the finals And we're gonna go on in front of a real $35 ticket-paying crowd show for a real show and they're gonna Let us do our little spots in front like our five-minute sets to part as part of the show. Ture goes up there and just masterfully finesses and works his crowd in the front. Then they bring me up after. My jokes are eating shit. And then with every article of clothing I took off I heard in the audience somebody going like go Jesus. And then someone at the end of it just said, while my pants were there and the music stopped,

someone just goes, what the fuck? And I kept missing my pants trying to pull them up. I just kept trying to get them up. Right, that's what it was. And it's so funny because what I'm saying is to go full circle. When I tell at Philadelphia Comedy Council, I tell comedians, I'm like, yo, you better have some confidence in your material because Big J, and you know when I say his name now, they're like, the bonfire, and skank, yo Big J.

Yeah, I'm like, Big J started here too in Philly. And he had to get to a point where the material was forefront because you go, one night you gonna reach for your pants, and they not gonna be fucking laughing. And that's what I told him. And they reach for the pants, and they ain't laughing. Is that lesson called, don't be a hack?

I guess it could be. But we call it the Jay Oakeson theory. It should. I guess it could be more simply, don't be a hack. Yeah. Listen, I had fake rubber buck teeth. Of course. The leotard?

You had a what? Yeah, the leotard. How old were you when you started? You started young too. 19. Same age I started. And you've been doing it for a couple of Yeah, the leotard. How old were you when you started? You started young too. 19. Same age I started. And you've been doing it for a couple years by the time. Listen, and it was very simply, it didn't work and I never fucking tried it again. It was like, it felt wrong.

All Philly comics first bits are gay. But also at 19. Did you say all Philly comics? What did Keith do? Wear a tutu? I don't know. You know what Keith did? Keith started a comedy gang called Comedy Express.

You remember that? I remember those motherfuckers. Oh yeah? Did you fight them? Yeah. Did you have to fight? Shout out to Nick Reed. I remember them.

They would never put me. They never put me on. They had Satin jackets? Yo, they had Satin jackets. They had the greatest shows at the Dell, like they had the best shows, but they would never, they would never let me get home. Tell me you've seen them on BET,

on BET when they come out and Keith's giving the speech. It's the most unfunny, horrible thing ever. Oh, this shit. No, please, please, I'm gonna say this. Oh no, I've never seen this. I found this by chance. Keith is the worst. I had Keith, I had Keith on my podcast one night,

we found this by chance. Oh my God. Trying to Google Keith is the worst. I had Keith. What? I had Keith on my podcast one night. We found this by chance. Oh my God. Trying to Google Keith's early works. I've never seen this horse shit. And I think this is what gave Keith his first stroke. Yeah, it looks like he had a stroke already. Keith is 105 years old, and that's why he was able, he thought none of his early mistakes would show up.

Right. Keith was always like, stop using music. Oh yeah, sorry. But then he'd use music. Your shit, your shit. When you was like, Keith says something got in your head. I remember years Keith was always like, Oh, yeah. But then he'd use music. Your shit. Your shit. When you were like, Keith says something got in your head.

I remember years ago, Atlantic City, me, Keith, Cedric, the entertainer. Of course, I'm open. I go up. I did well before in this spot, but this night I didn't do well. Whatever.

After the show, Keith goes, excuse me, I appreciate what you're trying to do. And I didn't take it as he understood. I was trying to do comedy in the right way and all that. I took that shit as fuck you mean, I'm trying to do. I I didn't take it as he understood. I was trying to do comedy in the right way and all that. I took that shit as fuck you mean I'm trying to do. I'm not here killing this shit.

What you mean I'm trying to do? I told Keith years later, I said I hated you for years. After that shit, for years. I used to be like fuck him. A great grudge that makes no sense, it's funny when you don't know, when you're a little bit of an older comic and you don't realize.

And again, it's just a growing process. Comics will eventually get older and people that I thought were shitting me when I was younger, I was just like, why would they bother with me at that point? And Lewis, one of my earliest times getting super stoned, I brought Lewis to, I did like a one nighter at the Stress Factory, and he's,

or maybe I was even featuring and he was like, doing guest spots, and we were back at the hotel and I'm like, I'm only eight years into comedy, nine years into comedy or something like that, and we're sitting at the hotel, and I'm like, I'm only eight years into comedy, nine years into comedy or something like that, and we're sitting there, Stoned that Reminder, he goes, dude, I wanna ask you a question, mistake, dude, I wanna ask you a question, honestly, what do you think of my comedy?

And I'm just Stoned, and I go, dude, you're a hilarious guy, so I'm not worried about it, I go, just right now, it's like, you know, your jokes are all like two-year comic, I'm like, you just have like, you know the material he's like Yeah, but I mean, remember Naka? Yeah, that shit. So I went.

That shit all right. He was on my card. I went. I made money, man. I went as a student, because I was just getting into comedy, and I was like, I wanna perform at my school. They were like, you have to go Naka.

They go, why don't you come as a representative of this college? We went, and Keith was there. Keith was hosting. You had to go NACA. They go, why don't you come as a representative of this college. We went and Keith was there. Keith was hosting. You had to buy Keith? Well, I didn't have to buy it. We went, I was front row for Keith. This guy came out, he's murdering.

He brought out a bunch of comics. He's just going up, doing his shit, and bird money, money, bank, good concept, whatever the fuck, killing. And I ran out after the show and caught him in the elevator. And it was with some chick. And he's leaning up against the wall, like he's fucking Frank Sinatra.

She's leaning on him. And I was like, hey man, I'm starting comedy. I really, you know, I loved your set, you were so good. He was like, yeah, player, that's good. And I was like, do you were so good. He was like, yeah, player, that's good. And I was like, I go, do you have any advice? I could never imagine, Keith was always corny to me. Like always. Oh, he was cool as shit.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I always respected him and looked up to him as a comedian, but. I hated him. It was always corny. Not only is he corny. I go, do you have any advice? And he said, yeah, man, do your thing, or some shit like that.

And he just walked off. And I was like, fuck you. Four years. He, he, he. Keith is corny. He, he, what you call, he inspired by that foot in your ass. Like, you don't like this foot in your ass, get it out.

So I say he's good for that, but. No, he's great for it. Yeah, it was a lot of that. Like, in the cookout video where Patrice and I at the cookout, that's what we're arguing about. We're like, they're like, you did a comic view. I'm like, I did Def Jam with you. You did comic view too.

I was like, yo, get the fuck out of here. I was like, y'all always talking that shit. Like y'all don't do this black comedy. I was like, you was on Def Jam. I did comic view with you, fuck outta here. So it's always those type of arguments. Take a look at how corny Keith was. He bombs with, and there's no audience.

I've never seen this. He tells a joke that doesn't make sense and is offensive back then. Back when people weren't offended, this joke... This could have offended you. This could have offended you. Wow. I could have pulled this. But first of all, you know he had his jacket on

and he took it off. He goes, let me hang it up. Now, I've seen those jackets. I have seen those jackets. I want one. Yeah, I definitely... Black Luke gave him one. Black Luke got him one made. That's what's up. That's what's up. That's what's up.

Hey, you guys, Dawn. You guys, you want to interview me, don't you? I think I can make room for you guys. My busy schedule. Yeah, I know you want to know where it all started. Where the legend of Keith Robinson first began. I'm gonna let you know, because you guys are special, B.E.T.

Well, it all started when I was young, very young. When I first had this attitude, this attitude problem that I have now. See, my mom, she wouldn't let me suffocate the cat. I got ticked off, ran away from home when I was two years old. Packed my Pampers up and got the heck out of the place. I didn't need the pressure.

And with me, I'm always- Stop right there. It's the shittiest joke I've ever heard on television. We know the joke that she wouldn't let me suffer. And that's what he was going for? So he packed up his Pampers. This is what an unprofessional- That's what was supposed to be edgy, the Pampers.

I see, all right. If you watch this video, he's looking at the lady, and then at one point you can see her go, camera, and then he looks at the camera, and then when he realizes he's bombing, he looks down and reaches for something else. I mean, and he's in, he's literally wearing 17 things. He's wearing a jacket, a sweater, a fucking jacket,

a vest, a tie. He's dressed like three versions of Arsenio Hall. Yes. Could you back it up a little bit, because one of the fucking jacket, a vest, a tie. He's dressed like three versions of Arsenio Hall. Yes. God damn. Can you back it up a little bit? Because one of the most telling, and I love this. I love someone who's like gets, you know, does it forever and gets seasoned. Wow.

Like the mistakes they make. I love it all myself. I tell you, that was strange when we were watching my bad boys at comedy. Oh my God. And the young comics are going, what do you mean, dude? This is like great. And they go, I see nothing but flaw in this and all the problems I see so much hack and Ria's hack. I'm killing time. I think I did the beatbox on death

But so Keith's big tell here's when he goes Keith goes go back up Christine here and go Keith goes he goes packed in my Pampers and moved on yeah, and he goes, go back up, Christina, hear him go, Keith goes, he goes, packed up my Pampers and moved on. And he goes, you know. That's when that jab, they slipped that jab. That's because you go, he's bombing. Nobody, not even the- That's like Zoom comedy. Joe, that's my guy. Not even the sound guy is chuckling.

They're just staring at him. That's how I did during the pandemic, dude. I did like, I did, I take chocolate sundaes and they hit me up for my, hey, we need your W9. I was like, don't worry about it. They don't need no track record of this. Let's get back to this bullshit. Oh, please, go back it up a couple seconds.

You know. Back to this bullshit. Well, it all started when I was young, very young. When I first had this attitude, this attitude problem that I have now. See, my mom, she wouldn't let me suffocate the cat. I got ticked off. Ran away from home when I was two years old. Packed my Pampers up and got the heck out of the place. I didn't need the pressure.

And I've always been funny. Did you hear his mouth dry up? Yeah. Yeah. His saliva left his body. Immediately. After that line, did it go? Well, one of my favorite things...

I could take depression. When he first started taking me and Kev, like, to New York and everything, and he was giving us all that, you know, Kev had a lot of music cues. Kev, stop with the music cues and buy, and then stop, little Kev, and start being... And hev, stop with the music cues and buy, and then stop little Kev and start being, and he's going through all the things

we need to like stop doing. And then he goes, I'm headlining, which is rare, he's headlining the Laugh House one weekend, which he didn't do much, and he goes, you go out fellas, come on down. It wasn't even like, we were too young, he wasn't even like go on. I think he gave us maybe a guest spot once each

on the weekend, but it was like, no, he's gonna have a feature and a headline. And Keith's whole final 15 minutes is music. You couldn't have drive-bys to Gladys Knight and the Pips and then a DJ, and then he starts dancing instead of shooting, you know what I'm saying? And me and Kev were in the back of the room. It was like not understanding what was happening.

He goes, wait, I thought he said, don't do it. And when I got his, how fast he shot it down, we go, Keith, I saw you said don't do and when I got his how fast he shot down we go Keith I saw you said music cues are what he goes do is I say I do stupid Survive up there He wasn't a black circuit comic though. He was already moved on years later. We actually had the same agent mmm, and we we went to a college together and He was headlining and I was opening for him.

Keith? For Keith, and we showed up, and they had my poster everywhere, and they had no posters of Keith. It just said, tonight Robert Kelly. I've never seen him that angry. He was screaming and yelling. He was like, what the fuck?

Fuck it, you're headlining. And he was like, you're headlining now, and he was like your headline now motherfucker you got your face you're the motherfucker he's headline they come up who he's going up and he went up and stepped on the crowd's neck he did all the bells and whistles and he killed and he walked off I think he bumped my shoulder but here's the thing I went up and fuck it murdered I took it to another level and he was so mad, he fired our agent on the way home. He got on the phone and goes, fuck you mother,

you're done, we're done. I remember one time we was doing a Morty's out in Indianapolis to get out there and I'm headlining and Dante Nero is with me. So they got him featuring. So it's not till he gets there that he realizes he's featuring. And he's like, what the fuck am I featuring for you for?

I was like, I said, you outside of New York, you know nobody knows who the fuck you are. Like, who do you think this gonna, I said, and you can't follow me, so let's keep it at the 100. But it motivates you sometimes when you get that, you know what I'm saying? Or that challenge for you.

I had you. Oh, you know what I'm saying? Or that challenge. I had you. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I told you, when I did that at Punchline, I remember walking you to the car and I was like, yo, I wanna be funny like you. Like, this shit is matter of fact funny. Like, I gotta have set up, premise, Punchline, you just start talking and it's a very talented skill to have.

Yeah, but it sucked. No. Here's the thing, when you show up at a club, you're like, all right, some dude, whatever. And then I shut up, and you're like, what's up? And I'm like, what? I was like, back in the dressing room, like, what's going on? Like, do these people not like me?

Like, is this a setup? No, they don't know who I am sometimes. But you go to fucking murder, and you go fucking, and I had Mush MC,, hey, I'm dead. And then you go up and fucking light up the crowd and Mush will go, you guys ready? I'm like, fucking, and he couldn't even do anything. You supposed to even that out.

Nope. You supposed to even that out, like, and you the host and the feature just blazed that shit. You supposed to stamp that all out, couple announcements, how you doing, bub-bub-bup. I was like, fuck. Dude, do you ever tell the story of, God damn, it's so funny, of you guys? But but but I was like you're too. Do you ever tell the story of a damn? It's so funny of you guys all going up to oh

I've never told you know what I'll do it now But it's so god, please Me Mike blacks and Kevin Hart and a comedian Philly buck. Fuck. Wow. Fuck the fuck Wow, right? I wish I came up on the black circuit. I want a name. Yeah, yeah. I got Bobby Kelly. We all had. Buck the Fuck Wild paid my phone bill for me

once for 100 hours. Tell you what though, put me on an FBI watch list. Right, right. And then your phone was bugged. Jay had P. Diddy as a manager. He's like, weird career. He was dead, I'm telling you, he's doing his thing. But so we're going to New York

and we meet at like downtown Philly and at the time I'm driving, I think Mike is driving and Buck is driving. And we meet at downtown Philly and Buck pulls up with the new car. So that's immediately like not so much that he couldn't have a new car, but I'm like if I had a new car,

I ain't letting nobody drive that shit. It's immediately like Mike, you can drive. I'm like. So I sit in the passenger seat in the front. Buckwad also, Buckwad shows up, you're like, this could be questionable. Buck, Buck, all right, Bobby, you a little older. This is a wee older, we get, Buck, if he was back in the 70s, he would be like,

you were introduced, my name is Len-nag. That's, that's Buck, like so. Oh yeah. That's the background. Like if they don't, if I ain't got it, that means they don't have an ass. Like Buck, he ain't a hustle, yeah, that means he's just anything. So we going up to Philly, I mean up to New York, and we get pulled over, New Jersey State Troopers. Wait, before you leave, doesn't Mike, I heard Mike Blackson's patting and asking him, like

Buck, is this car okay? He asked him, like Buck, is this car cool? He's like, yeah, man, I'm just tired, man, go ahead, Buck, you know, like, fast talk, Buck, fast talk. Yo, man, go ahead, man, don't just start being a bitch ready to drive, man, you know. So, I'm like, all right, when I don't trust nothing, I'm in the front seat, so I keep my eyes on everything,

so I'm sitting shotgun. So it's Mike, me, Buck is behind Mike, Cab is behind me. He didn't even sit in the front seat? No, that's enough of it, you know what I mean? I'm like, fuck out of here. Soon as we get pulled over, officer! I'm out the door, hey! But anyway.

When the guy who owns the car has to sit in the front. He in the back, down in the cut. I'm like, uh-uh. So this is back when the J's, you know, like state troopers on the turnpike wasn't always as friendly as with us. So this is around that time. So we get pulled over, it's the,

we know we getting pulled over from the megaphone and the like, you know, drivers step out, they talk to us without getting out the car. So we're like, driver turn their engine off, passenger step out. So I'm first out, they get me back, you know, cuffed down. I don't know how that is, they come over to my door

and they're like, hey, how you doing, buddy? What's going on? I'm shooting, I'm shooting. I don't know how that is. They come over to my door and they're like, hey, how you doing, buddy? I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do. I show them my nine PBA cards. Look, I'm telling you, look, I want to say this. These are the officers they should put in the book. They were like, buy the book. We just making sure you good.

They got me down. Then they got Mike out. The crazy thing about Mike was Mike was so scared. You know, they tell him, back up. Walk backwards to us. He started walking forwards. I was like, they're going to shoot Mike. They The crazy thing about Mike was Mike was so scared, they tell him back up, walk backwards to us. He started walking forwards. I was like, they gonna shoot Mike. They gonna shoot Mike. Mike dead, Mike's dead tonight, bro.

Mike's dead, he just started walking off. They're like, hey, hey, I was like, Mike, come back, yo. So they get Mike next, then they get Kev, then they get Buck. Now, Kev is laughing, and I think as I look back, he's like nervous, like he won't stop laughing, to the point where one of the officers Hey, tell your friends stop laughing like

Getting annoying when I think it's cuz he's watching Mike blacks and Mike is panicking Like so like Mike got this back Yeah pictures in your wallet. So Mike got pictures of his kids as well in the office I'm telling you they bought a book they get his ID They like hey, this picture kid cute kid. Yes officer. Those are my kids and I want to see them again Like yo you bugging bro like just chill out like so They buck is dealing with funny money at the time. Yeah, like yeah, not a counterfeit money on right I'm telling you these officers is so by the book when buck get get out the car, he like flip it over the guard rail. Like, because that's federal offense.

Yo, so they get the money and bring it back to him. Hey, you dropped this, buddy. Because they can't tell just by looking at it. Like, they just give it back to you. You dropped this, buddy. You know, don't want you to say we stole it. Yo, so they get us up off. They take us in,

the plates on the car are stolen, that's why we pulled over, and that's why we were taking it like that. So we in there, we should have known, like we in the holding cell. They didn't take any of our stuff, because I remember I still had my wallet and all that in my pocket.

Kev out there, we should have known, Kev out there sitting on the table, they got like, they let Kev hold their gun, and he doing tricks, he doing, he out there doing tricks with their guns. I'm like, ah. So they put him back in the cell with us for a while. They thought he was a little kid.

Right. They give him an airplane. They give him a little badge. He had a little slushie. So they put him back in the cell with us for a minute and Buck and Cav, there was a time, I tell people this minute and Buck and Kev, there was a time, I tell people this, people don't believe me, there was a time where young Kevin Hart idolized Buck Wilde.

Like he did the heavy thing. Like some of the little movements you see early in his special, like that quick little jerky move, that's Buck. Anyway, he, Buck had that money on him. So he like, yo Kev, I need you to eat this. So now I'm in the reality stage of I'm in here cause you got some stolen plates, this is the bullshit.

So I snap, I'm like, he's like, yo, I need y'all to eat. I was like, I'm not eating shit. The fuck, this whole, I snapped on him like, this is all your fucking fault, whatever happened, happened. Like I'm looking out the window like fuck y'all. I turned back around, look around, Buck and Kev got green shit coming out their mouth cause they eat this money to die.

I'm like, so they end up processing us. We get a ticket for receiving stolen goods. Like, you know, receiving stolen goods. Now it's funny because Buck, I think, went back and took care of that. And Kev and Mike went back together to take care. I never took care of it. Man, when I moved up to Newark, New Jersey,

I get pulled over in Jersey all the time. I'm like a child. To the point where I had a warrant. So, when I moved up to Newark, New Jersey, I get pulled over in Jersey all the time. Like a... To the point where I had a warrant. So one day I finally go and the judge is even like, why am I looking at this from 1998? I was like, I don't know, your honor. She like dismissed.

I don't even know what it is, but I wanted off the docket. So that's how it ended, but yeah, we all went. When Kev came back, you guys were telling the story right away, cause I knew we had limited time. I knew we gotta go. But it was, whatcham watch him cough, fuck the fuck. But I'll tell you, but what was great was when they said Mike was pankin' on the roadside so much,

why they kept thinking that he was gonna get shot was then he starts going through his back, he wants to show him the dashiki to go, he keeps going, I'm the African king of comedy. I'm the African king of comedy. They're like, the cops are like, alright. He had head shots, like he showed him the 8x10s, like this is me, the African king of comedy. I'm like, wow. He had like the fake picture, the cops are like, all right. He had head shots, like he showed him the 8 by 10s, like this is me, the African King of Cuck.

I'm like, wow. He had like the fake picture of the ultrasound with the dick. It is my bit I do with the dick. Oh, Ture. So we have to have you back again soon, man, for the whole show. Ture is going to be at the Baltimore Comedy Factory August 2nd through the 4th.

And also the monthly comedy brunch at Brunch So Funny. Christine, you son of a bitch as you had a brunch so fun and I read it that way confidently I look like a fool at City Winery Philly New York and Pittsburgh make sure you follow them at comedy by Toure T U R A E on Instagram absolutely fucking layers great to have you man and we will uh we back to say goodbye I think we might be done