The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Enough With the Small Talk

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Dan and Jay are back from road gigs with stories of crowded hotels and small talk gone wrong.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com#CrackleCrackle 

It's Dan Soder and Big J. Oakerson. Welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning, Tuesday through Friday. If you want more Bonfire, you can always hear our full show every day on Series XM. You can go to seriousexam.com slash Bonfire for a special three month offer. The Bonfire! What a weekend. We're both the way this weekend both at helios in both heliums helium comedy clubs being very good to the bonfire boys i was an indianapolis making up

the sanacombs cancellation from two thousand nineteen that we never you know never rescheduled in it was fun and it was so much fucking fun this is my first weekend back in uh... that we never you know it never rescheduled in it was fun man it was so much fucking fun this is my first weekend back in uh... weeks it's a walk-in club huge here's where it fucking sucked jay this was without a doubt

the worst weekend i've ever had on the road outside of the shows the show but i can't say it my outside of my shows in buffalo were well let me say to the people of indianapolis the shows. The shows, buddy, I gotta tell you, my outside of my shows in Buffalo were... Well, let me say to the people of Indianapolis, the shows were incredible. The staff at Helium Indy is fucking great. Always. Had a wonderful time. It was not a hire, I'm dude. Had a fucking wonderful time. I was staying in a hotel, anyone that's in Indianapolis outside of the city, I'm sure it was fine. Something, it must be like the first weekend back, I don't know what the fuck it was. We were staying by like the Expo Center. And our hotel was filled with a middle school volleyball team, national tournament, like club

volleyball, girls that were like 12 to 16. I even said it, it I go they weren't even the fun to Lee age they were like 12 to 16 where you were like oh these are all mean Mean little girls I've never had to think about this question before but now I'm starting to think about it Dan what if you were Megan's law Do you want to report Megan's law to hotels when you stay because that's i would i mean you're asking for it do you i would that that's how i should have got a better room as i went down

there with high uh... in two thousand seven i was involved in an abduction case in two son Arizona and so i'm gonna need you i'd please guilty to lesser charges but i have to tell you or that how you open with it? Do you open with due to Megan's law? I have to inform you.

Yeah. Yeah. That's my duty to inform you that I was arrested for a sex crime. I could explain a whole thing to you. If you got a minute, it's not what you think. Well, I will make you a promise that no matter the gender, if there is a teenage group of sports athletes, I will report Megan's law to the matter the gender, if there is a teenage group of sports athletes, I will report Megan's law to the front desk

to get me moved to my own wing of the hotel. They can't kick you out. I'm a paying guest. You're paying customer. Hey, can you move me to a higher floor? I forgot to tell you, I'm gonna fuck one of these kids. You know what? I don't even fuck them.

I eat them. I'm a cannibal. So, I would probably get them out of there. Dude, the whole hallway was like Haunting shrieks of middle school. Like you would walk down the hallway and be like And you're like oh this fucking suck, but the shows were a lot of fun the shows were very fun but the Jay I know this would fucking send you

God damn this would make you mad cuz it made 13 year old soccer player girls. No, not wearing the shorts out of their room. No, every restaurant was at least a two hour wait, including like Chipotle. There was a line down the street because them and all their families were like trying to eat everywhere in that fucking downtown mall area. What? Dude, two hours for like Chipotle? Why? Dude, you just thought we were just like grub hub and shit. There's no drivers.

We tried to order. There was no hotel food until 5 p.m. So it didn't. Peter came back. Oh, and also did they go down to, are they doing the helium thing? Was the meal the food there is just sliders? Well, I had, I got some chicken fingers, so it was pretty sweet. But yeah, I was saying they have chicken

and fingers and sliders. Oh, but when we got to Indianapolis, and we're like, you know, when you do the drive from the airport to the hotel, I've never worked in Indianapolis before. So I didn't know what really. Most cities I know what's around. And it's kind of fun when you go to a new city

to see what's by your hotel, because you're like, ah, fuck, I'm gonna go that. And I was like, done, done, you know, like all these, all the fast food I wanted there. Pot belly sandwiches, there was a Chipotle, the Cudoba, there was, um, Pot belly's good on the road or you can get the skinny and they always have a good soup.

I love a big Italian, but they're, there was like a lot of meat. I'm just looking as your friend. It's a lot of love salted meats I can't get a salted meat there was a lot of cured meats there's a PF Changs right there you know how much I love the Changs so I'll do the I've done Cheesecake Factory and or the Chang on my last like except for this last one like my last several gigs. Yeah. Um, well every single one of those places I named seemed like they had a line like they were just releasing the new iPhone. Every single one of them looked like they were releasing it was fucking wild at one point to ping pong Chang made you wait for two hours. Dude that that guy, it was so chaotic at PF Changs,

there wasn't anyone behind the host desk. There was just empty tables and just every, like a bunch of parents and kids sitting around waiting to be sat, it was fucking chaos, because they, I think it was fun. You know, it was fun by the way, it was watching Jacob get that ping-fong Chang reference,

like 30 seconds after I said it, how stupid it was. What if it's fun by the way, it's watching Jacob get that ping pong Chang reference like 30 seconds after I said it. How stupid it was. What if it's his name? It got what? Ping pong Chang. Ping pong Chang. There's at least looking me right now. Anyone here say, would you be willing to bet heavy money

that it's definitely not ping pong Chang? I would. There's no way. There's no way I'd bet that over. I bet that under all day. That's definitely happening. It's a possibility. Is that what you're saying, right?

Yeah, oh, no, no. I see it's a very real possibility. It's a distinct possibility. I don't think it's Peter Franklin Chang. I don't think it's like Pipper or fucking Fedora. Philip Chang. Philip Chang Chang. Philip Chang Chang. Philip Chang. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, holy shit. Philip Chang, Philip Chang,

Philip Chang. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, hang on. It's Paul, it's Paul Fleming Chang. It's a Paul Fleming, is it really? That's what it said.

Co-founder, PF Paul Fleming, and then Changs, which is Philip Chang, Paul Fleming. That's great. What a, what a white man name

in the front of that. Paul Fleming, PF Chang, I'm Paul Paul Fleming in Philip Chang or the two people Listen here Chang. I'll do the restaurant, but you put my initials in the front Philip Chang Chang But it it with outside of the shows it was just fucking chaos so that sucked that sucks But mine just like the seat, the hotel in Buffalo is like, it's just like downtown. So I know exactly where it's at. The people, the people that are going there are just like listen, all's forgiven at some point of the day when you go outside and you just smell the sweet air of fucking marshmallows burning off from general mills. Great. Great. I think this

uh weekend I got some cinnamon toast crunch air. Great. And then I got to luckys great great I think this weekend I got some cinnamon toast crunch air great and then I got the lucky charms again I think to be good ease to realize with smells there's certain cities and you got the general mills and fucking Buffalo just burn in cereal or if I don't give us some like fucking things like sugar long for something it's doing something terrible to us well you got marshmallow asophagus you're not supposed to breathe it in through your nose. It's giving you polyps. The crowds in Buffalo were drunk.

They were great. I had a fun time with them because I like kind of the chaos a bit. Sure. Not out of control chaos or where the crowd's hating it, but like, okay, but I mean, a guy, I think a guy who they said came in already a stroke victim with a cane. Cool. I think a guy who they said came in already a stroke victim with a cane cool. I think drank or just like Bad stroke balanced like in the middle of the show hit the floor or he's half cursive Did he hit the floor loud and hard?

Yes, and it was a thing when people when did it immediately pull you out of whatever you were talking about 100% and in fact I don't know like someone goes he's having a seizure. I said a seizure and they go. Yeah, and then I waited I go is he all right like damn I go is he okay and someone goes? It's fine. Just like do a joke And I'm wait no you know, but he wasn't even doing it like in that dicky way I know you're thinking the joke it jokes. No, no, no. It was just like, he's fine. He's like, oh, it wasn't even that. It was like, he's fine.

You can keep going and I was like, I can't keep going. And so I know he's all right. And he's like, he's fine. He was hammered for sure. And maybe also a stroke survivor. But that was. I'm talking about the switch, having to flip the switch of first funny to serious and then jerking back into funny where the he's cool he's

up and you're like anyways what's it usually a cheer no you know me did I'll just linger on that for as long as I can oh my god if you can't address what so he was a stroke victim did you find out no I never quite found that out I thought he was the drunk guy who fell. But then the, uh, uh, will, the door guy there, who's awesome. And Sean, the manager were both like, it's like, no, I think he like, he came in like fucked up. He had like a cane and shit. How man, imagine if he just drank that much that he required, that he required a cane all the time.

That is a form of alcoholism. Damn, buckle up for alcoholism, because I I'll tell you that is just the first of two Falls that happened within my show Really you had you had a two-fall weekend? Yeah, there was a you should really lean into it and be like Yeah, I'm killing him. I'm dropping him. I'm gonna say and I know she said she was a fan So I my apologies if this comes off insensitive. I don't want it to It was just these three ladies and this one dude and they were fucking ripped. They were hammered

Which they were having and this lady particularly was was a larger lady Yeah, man. Did you at what point? Did you identify them? Was it like pre show MC, MC set, feature set? No, no, me, like two minutes in the me being on stage. Okay, because sometimes you see them. They didn't even, they were fans. So what's they didn't come to disrupt the show?

They were just too drunk to get what they were doing, I think. That's usually I would say the worst kind because they're supportive. Yeah, they just don't understand that they're stepping all over everything Yeah, but I was having fun and then I was having fun like fuck with him ultimately and this lady I Don't know if I made her lay it was something she laughed I think it was like her laughing, but whatever it was she just went straight backwards in her chair Feed up on the ground

hammered larger woman Did you do it sort of the crowd the crowd? I made a couple of just like fucking just low hanging fruit like jubbie jokes Like the crowd wasn't way on board like guys. Come on Please tell me that were some sort of foot kick. Was there a foot flutter as the sort of back? Yeah, I saw when the hit the grass all again. She was on the ground by the time If anyone gets to see the fall you want to see the lady doing a foot little flutter. She may have still been laughing at that point either, but they, they fun. Her falling back laughing is psychotic. That looks crazy where she's like, I was like,

Miss, you're going to have to learn to laugh forward. Like, can I gotta say, I'm impressed. Like, let me tell you something that will never happen to me. That, I'm a larger man than she was a woman, proportionally too. Like, I just know, like, just know yourself a little bit. You know what I mean? I was explaining this to the audience even too. I go, I don't go sit on when someone has like,

fucking flimsy that hollow tin and Plastic strap lawn furniture. I'm sitting on it man. I'm not gonna be the ass that folds up your shitty furniture because you're a cheap asshole You're a cheap thin dick watching Barb watching backyard chairs collapse with somebody. Yeah, it's usually a thing that it wouldn't happen to me, man You can't laugh at it immediately with unless you're close to the person. Buddy, I have never in my life once ever put full weight pressure down ever. It's why I hate sitting in makeup, hair and makeup, if you're ever doing a TV show. Yeah. Why I hate it because that fucking chair.

Really? No, no, no, not that that the chair they put you in, you know, the trailers, like those fucking directors chairs. Oh, yeah, yeah, well, I mean, I'm lucky because billions we have the the barber chairs on those on those trailers, real like sitting in it and they're like, all right, Pacino, well, I just do a little bit parts and things. You're in a JLo. I just good to know that they're fucking fleece in the budget that they don't even get your real chairs in a JLo movie. But I've never anything like that comedy jam.

I mean, there's always like the hair make up. So I always just knows what makes you that's always on set. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm talking about the when you're in the trailer, when they have that full trailer that you walk up the stairs into. It's got a trailer for Z. Rock. It was all on set.

So like, we get it. You're in. I guess either way, the point being sitting in those chairs. I've never ever put I don't have always have a toe on the ground Because that's your hamstrings have to be so powerful. Do I bet like fucking young? I bet you got a dunk dude. I bet you got a butt butt that you're hiding. No, I don't my ass. I'll compare with you right now. Dude, I have no butt. I'm flat butt me too when compare asses They're both all fine like mine like drips off of my my butt Then that's not good. Also, we're filming today. So don't oh, I didn't we're gonna show our butt butts I was just gonna show you in jeans. No, then if I'm gonna look at your ass. I'm gonna look at your ass, dude

I'll show my butt cheeks. I don't give a shit. You're gonna show me your naked ass if I'm gonna see that show you my naked ass. We can blur it Mine is awful. I was if there's better lighting in here Oh, dude, you have great lighting now. It's too fluorescent for my ass. I got a ring light So if my if my buns aren't popping in this I'm fucked. Oh, dude. You're fucking something your ass is in a p-ditty Maybe I can learn maybe I can learn how to stand like one of those Instagram girls I just learned how to flex my leg to make my butt cheek look more round. Oh Buddy, oh that by the way those three ladies and that guy they shortly there after got kicked out Really sure they have to get kicked out they argued about not paying their bill

That was a whole thing. Did they argue about the one that one the show room? No, no, no, no, it was outside, but here's thing When they went outside trying to get on the block the manager went outside one of the girls was just taking a hot piss in the street Yeah, there's the whole thing was like sloppy, but uh, they just pay it in the street going it smells like fucking lucky charms And that girl that fell over fucking mat foley said uh still a fan. So if you're listening I Forgive you I can't believe it because it brought enough money to the world to uh to forgive that but uh that's a wake-up You don't want to have is when you and you're like did I?

Fall backwards laughing in a chair. Oh, she's gonna feel tomorrow for sure I am I will can I warn you something else but Dan? I know you're there this weekend. Yeah, there if there's that through Saturday. I don't know what's going on. But the local people, not the people come to the shows, not the comedy fans and not the thing. Just the people I interacted with this weekend, like everyone was so nasty To me on the weirdest thing the weirdest like small like street small talk. I'm trying to get my small talk back I'm off normally. I'd feel confident in the situation, but I'm a gate. This you these aren't to get out then these were me getting in And the people fuck the people small talk dodged me soda style, but like none of them nicely

And I don't know why I think I was like smoke pot before I went out to get like food or anything So like I'd be like in a chatty mood, which is kind of funny But like no thanks guy did the two I did I went to the Mexican place right next door Okay, just good, which is really good. Yeah, and while I was waiting for my food a lady next to me. There's like You know 50 something year old lady maybe, or late 40s or really 50s, comes in, she's a grub hub driver, whatever seamless, and she goes, I'm here to pick up, and the lady goes, what's the names? And she goes, I have two orders. She goes, Ben and Jennifer, and I went, oh, Benifer, and she went, what?

She just went, what? And I went, Ben, benefit her. And she went, white. She just went, white. And I went, benefit her, you know. And then they're back. Now it's happening again. She goes, I don't know. And she left. Oh, that nasty. Jay, that was 100% her fault.

I think that was a perfect way. That should have brought you together with that driver. She should have gone, did you ever imagine seeing them pair back up? How is Aeron feeling? Dude in hindsight, Christine said he'd anger management, but I gotta tell you what, in hindsight,

I think this next guy may have just pumped my shit in the streets, and I may have just eaten there. The more I think about it, yeah. He just served you a scoop of shut the fuck up, and you just, But this guy may have double got me and called me a straight bitch at the end. Okay, because that lady was wrong. I think he called me, I think at the end. Okay, cuz that lady was I think you called me

I think if the Andy calls me a fatso and laughs at me sort of what I think I didn't hit me that way at first But I knew it was rude, but now that I'm thinking about it. I'm pretty sure one of those middle school girls called me old If it makes you feel any better, so that hurts. No, it doesn't cuz this one really so I went to subway to get a rap the second day because this one really, so I went to subway to get a wrap the second day. Two nimbinata peppers if you're wondering. All right. So I go to school. Yeah, on the Spanish wrap. And I go in there, now I'm in there and like, you know, shorts and a sweatshirt.

Like I'm doing nothing that they accept waiting for my shows. Yeah. And I said, God, come us behind me. I said, I'm going to get a rap and they've started pulling it out And the guy behind me's wearing like a tucked-in dress shirt. Sure tie thing and I go and I'm gonna get tuna and I go actually wait a second. I go do you look a lunch break? And he was like yeah And I was like, yeah, I go take him first cuz like he's in a row You know he has like limited time. I'm fine

You're being a very courteous person. And I saw they were walking like, I saw they were working very slow. This staff was not on it. You could tell by the time you were ready to order that they sucked. They're moving really slow. Yeah, no one's in a rush.

So this is, I say this tell us gotta go. And then he goes, then I can go as he he goes I got an hour for lunch. It's fine And I was like no, no dude like I'm on no schedule so go ahead. So he just goes okay Like kind of like that dismissive and then he gets there and he orders his like Chicken sandwich thing or whatever and they pull he says it on a roll right yeah, so they start cutting the roll and I just go I go hey, man, you, do you remember when Subway, like back in the day, they used to cut the V into the thing and they would put it on top like a little hat.

They would cut the, they could have been really, and he just goes, do he looks over at me and just like sizes up my fat body and he goes, yeah, I wouldn't know. That's what he said. And then when I, when I, when I, they put my tuna, I go, I go, yeah, I wanted the wrap hot. And she goes, we don't heat up tuna. I go now Yeah, they do she goes we don't and you know 550 or whatever But the price was she said but I just jumped me right out of the store Wait, so he just said I wouldn't I wouldn't know that I wouldn't know who would yeah

You like you make me just yeah, this is like a once in a blue moon for me But you know some ways gross and only gross people eat it don't touch me urgent Each of me then My very last day Saturday. Oh, I thought it was gonna continue outside. I was like this guy No, that guy sucks That guy does sucks and I will say to your credit 100% your credit. These are two Wonderful small talk ways to start. So don't be mad. You pick the right play. They just suck because I Now that I'm getting my small talk back, I kind of have to go back over my form

How I lead into stuff So I'll say this bad Buffalo too. Throw in haymakers. Well, I got my third example coming, and I'd also like to tell you Dan, and it comes to Buffalo, get your rubbers really early. Get them early, because I, nightly, I had at least a cancellation. Twice they drove, two of the nights they drove the wrong direction completely, like, just couldn't follow the uh And they'll keep saying words like all these roads are closed down here, but I don't think it's what it was and they were a little

I did I busted uh I busted Veter on that Veter gave me a ride home from La Guardia because I wasn't going back to Queens. I was coming to Katie's so Veter He had be parked near La Guardia, so we went and got his car and I was watching the GPS and he took the wrong turn. It's so it recalculated and then he did it again and we were like going we're heading like towards Long Island. We're like going the wrong way and and he goes, ah, it's fucking all this construction around.

I saw both wrong turns, dude. He started laughing. He's like, ah fuck all right I was like I walk on the signs back there. Yeah, but he totally leaned into the construction thing It's like no really fucking fixing up these roads is like no no no no I watch two rerouting damn potholes Sinister 180 the wrong way. Oh So then so yeah the Uber takes fucking forever Both nights and wait wait. it's no exaggeration.

A six minute ride. It's very close. But I'm telling you, I left my hotel room at six, whatever, an hour early for every show. Yeah. And I'm telling you, I never walked into the show earlier than like 10 minutes before the show. That's fucking crazy.

One of them was like like right at show time, and I was like an hour to get there. Like just because I just take you to Rochester. And he's like, there you go. But the last guy I get in the car, Asian fella, has the full arm, you can call either the stain tattoo or the Dustal Dawn George Clooney.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, up the neck. Not the neck, but just the whole arm with like the big swooping tribals. Okay. I got in the car and I go, I got to give him a code. And for some reason, I have to give a code. Anybody call and let us know if that code has something to do with him, I'm a bad. No, it doesn't because Jay, I, I, I had to do, I have to do a code with Uber. It's just a thing they're doing now because there were a lot of people taking the a code with Uber. It's just, I think they're doing now because there were a lot of people taking the wrong ride. Sure, it makes sense to me, but I had twice.

Someone got in, once when I was leaving Billions in Brooklyn, someone just got in my car and started going and I was like, hey, I'm not in there. And it was like estimated time of arrival. And you're like, I'm not even in the car. And then I like wrote, because they charged me for the ride, I canceled on my phone and then wrote an email to Uber like, hey, I got charged and they were like, all right, we'll credit you

back and then ever since then I've had to give a code when I get in the car. Yeah, I have to give a code also, but this guy gave in the code and then I go, dude, I go fucking really cool tattoo, man. And he just goes, goes yeah it just never spoke to me the rest of the ride again oh fuck the people of Buffalo except the comedy fans it shows I really did have a blast and that's stay a fucking rules it's a great club that's one of my favorite clubs to go to I'm excited to go there this through this day through Saturday but I really think it's everyone's,

we're gonna look, we all gotta learn how to small talk again or maybe people just stop doing it. Maybe we're just dinosaurs. You're right. You built me with confidence in this conversation. I'm not gonna eat any of this shit on that. Those were all fucking fantastic starting points. Jay, the place as we could go,

if someone opened it up, the benefit comment alone, I would have a new friend in Buffalo. I mean, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you's like, they go, who's your next round? Mark and Anthony? All right. Yeah, I'm just, I'm going to be at Helium all weekend. You guys are best friends. That's how I do, man. What are you doing, man? Which of the enchiladas? I got the verde. Look at what it's going to be a little spice, a little piece of spice alone. And then I mean, the remember

when subway cut, I wasn't talking about something from the 40s man It was in this guy's lifetime cuz they're in order to very specific chicken sandwich that he gets a lot Fuck you. You know what you should have I'm gonna I'm gonna Monday morning quarterback this Mm-hmm, but when he what was the exact line? I'm gonna hit me with the line and I'm gonna tell you what you should have said back Wait with his line. Yeah, you give me his line and I'm gonna give you what you should have said Oh All right, go remember remember and they're also I'll lead you in and then you know just be like be on the top like a little hat Yeah, I wouldn't know

Must be nice Must be nice. Kids still got it. Kids still got it. It's gonna be nice. Yeah. That's still calling myself fat. No. Must be nice to not have to be a subway all the time

because you don't have a food problem. No, I was taking it because he was looking down on the food. And I was saying, you know, those of us that have ate Subway our whole life. Sometimes it was in this. No, that's not how I would have taken it. You got to understand he was sort of calling me fat and saying that's why I know fat person things like the old breadcuts of subway You go and then I would have said I would have said it must and he goes I wouldn't know so I go must be nice to not be fat

Know these things you know in certain cultures were actually revered for our size I can nailed it. Do you know that it's a- I would be a king in Uganda. Do you understand that in certain countries in Central America they call us taste oracles? And you wouldn't know this. My size would show wealth in some countries. I could tell you the different, the slightest differences in man-aises. Oh! This is Helmins all day. Give that a hear.

Yeah. Dude, it's clear that Schumer doesn't have any comics that are close friends with her to not tell her to pull that trigger on that fucking man-aid's commercial. You're like, dude, don't do the Super Bowl man-aid's commercial. I mean, you're like, dude, girl, you're gonna kill it. You're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't do it.

Don't do it. You don't need cash. Hey, I'm Big Jokerson for internment camps. Hey, hi, I'm Dan Soder for loud, whiny fags. And I complain about, hey, it's daddy issues Dan.

Yeah, hey, it's me, Big J. I'm here to talk about chocolate. Don't forget about us. Still going strong. Yeah, dude, I'm big. I cover big. Dude, you leaving Buffalo? I shall. I'm going to tell you this right now, Buffalo. It's a day. I'm going on a small talk revenge. I'm going to stop in at all the local shops. I'm going to carry Vita with me from stop to stop, but I'm gonna get revenge for you Oh, he's gone with you this one. Yeah, Vita's going this one. Yeah, yeah, it's going to have a buddy with

Just go one thing you can't do out there as you can sit down and eat like there you can go in Like the places are in all crowded Starbucks cross the street. Oh, yeah, you like that steak out place But I say it's a bucket of shit. Oh, well, I love it stoned and it gives me liquid duties. Oh, it must have. Last time I would. Last time I would say. Last time I would say. You know when you have those memories of cities, and you don't even remember the shows

or stuff you did in the cities, you just remember hotel room shit. Mm-hmm. Yeah, for I do. Last time I was in Buffalo, I got fucking super stoned and I wouldn't got one of those steak sandwiches and Watch the motley crew Netflix disaster and called you at like 2 30 in the morning We talked for like a half hour and I was like one of the hardest I laughed because I called because you were so you're on the road Too and you were so excited to watch it and I was like oh yeah, it fucking fucking blows. It blows so hard. It did blow hard, but it had like high value. It blew hard in the sense if you're looking for like a good movie

about that band. It was like a fun, stupid, like dirty, you know, I mean, like it was done. Dude, it was funny to laugh at. Yeah, it was a piece of like this guy wrote this seriously and it came off very funny There you know they're coming out of that Pam and Tom movie with Seth Rogan in it Who's he gonna play he's playing like the guy? Guess my cock is huge I don't know baby it feels so good baby. It can't start my heart.

Damn, your tits are huge. He posted a picture of him without his beard and then he also pictured the actor and the actress that are playing Pamy and Tom Pamy and Tom. It's so when they're soldier, Sebastian. Oh, that's who it is. Yeah. Yeah. And who is he playing? So it looks so weird. So he's playing a character like a thanny pack and shit. Yeah. But there's a picture. Black blue. Oh, Rand goat, goathy. So much like them. I wonder if you.

Black blue, you find a picture of the Pam and Tommy one that they have from this movie because they have them in the infamous hat hugging But wait, first see what that character is. It tells you okay, and this is right here So it's the next art. Who's who's the real-life figure Rogan? Oh, it's right here That he Rogan, oh, it's right here that he, poor, he's a former porn actor, oh, go back up. It was right there. He's a former porn actor who became an electrician and after installing a studio in a security system for release, stole and released the tape. Oh, he's the guy who stole the tape.

Yeah, and the former porn, I want to see Rand Goethe a the porn actor. I want to see a picture of that guy. I want to see his, you want to see Rand Goat, the porn actor. I want to see a picture of that guy. You want to see his wiener? Hey, babe, Rand Goat, he is coming over. That's all your sex, baby. Well, I'm excited to see that I think I want to watch Pam and Tommy with you because if it sucks, it'll be fun to

make fun of with you. I want to. It's good. Maybe we'll jay each other off, dude. I just make fun of with you. I want it. It's good. You know, you know, Jay, each other off, dude. I just want to be with you. Because he's in California, dude. Maybe we can drive stick that night. So why is it better here?

It is funny. It's funny. It's just progressive. She's 18. She's going to room. It is funny having a Isabelle day to day. Because now it's like 18 year old things. We're turning that TV down.

You left this container open in the fridge. Stop. You left the door in a jar. Yeah. Blow or the God damn TV. What are you doing? I'm just being dead. Yeah, he was leaving lights on.

That's the main gripe you have with his own. Oh, am I fucking, I guess we're going to light the whole neighborhood up, huh? Yeah, are we the one? Are we the ones lighting them up? Yeah. Well, tonight's going to be exciting. She She's gonna be here when Josh gets into town and Him and Kimberly Kong then are gonna come over after Legion of states for sad seconds sad sec Mondays buddy

Harder couple Yeah, coming from this couple. It's hoarders straight in intervention night tonight. So sad sec Mondays. Oh, Jesus. Fucking pet skeletons and failed bives. Yeah, dude. I've never seen, I never thought the place I would see so many cat skeletons would be on TLC. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you don't have a pet skeleton in your house, then you're not even hoarding yet to me. I wonder if that's in the, to this guy. That's my, my humble. Is that in the application for hoarders where they To me, to me, to me. To this guy, that's my humble play. Is that in the application for hoarders? Where they're like, all right, so you want us to come to your aunt's house.

How many cat skeletons are there? They don't tell you something much like, first of all, 2020, all my old man shows that I watched now, 2020. I'm pretty sure Scott Peterson didn't even kill his wife anymore. That's a good 2020, it's to me. What? I don't think he did it. I don't think he did it

I don't think he did it. He did no He was just a foreigner and he was just a flander or dude that who killed Lacey Some piece of shit who robbed the house across the street. I don't know the 2020 set. I believe it I just go with ever OG's innocent too if they tell me the next you Do you think like OJ or Scott Peterson ever get those calls from their lawyer? Are they like, hey buddy, 2020 just came out? And they make a pretty interesting case

that a guy across the other guy goes, no, that was me. He's like, oh, no. Oh, it's time. Yeah, no, I put weights on her body and put it in the middle of the lake. That was 100% me. I don't know if you saw the guy, but he was handsome

and successful. Do you think he would do something like that then? Get your head out of a lake. That was 100% big. I don't know if you saw the guy, but he was handsome and successful. Do you think he would do something like that then? Get your head out of your ass. Absolutely right, and I am sorry for projecting such a negative. Yeah, dude, the guy's a good dude. Get a boat. So what the body was, so what the body was found near where his boat was. It doesn't matter, dude. Shit all goes to the same place, dude. It's the ocean. That's, that's just easy water knowledge. You should just know that water flows. Bruce Lee said it. Yeah, so eventually the body would have been near where the boat was. Okay. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. Yeah, if somebody gets killed in the McDonald's, you went to before.

Does that mean you're a suspect? I mean, no, exactly. Thank you, Jacob. I was down there. What old man shows do you both watch? I would say hoarders and intervention are both old man shows, for sure. I watch, I watch hold it. 60 minutes. I love 60 minutes. I love 60 minutes. My whole life, though, both. I know I've been still. I'm, I've debated DVRing it. If that's a great DVR one, because you can watch it while you have a sandwich and learn about the Palestinian conflict.

I'll do the same thing. I'll do the same thing. I'll do the same thing. If you, maybe you should get into some 2020 and I'll get into it. You know what? I will 100% make that deal. I will, I will start DVRing 2020s, and then we can have a nice 20,

we can have our old man corner on Mondays, where we talk about what's going on. Can I say something? You think people don't want to talk about 2020, but I got a DM this week from a guy, I was like, love that you talk about 2020, kill everyone this weekend with Peterson stuff. Oh my God.

All right. What's it on? It's on ABC, right? It's on ABC Fridays after Shark Tank, which I also DVR. All right, you know what? Add it to the old man show, love a Shark Tank. Shark Tank Friday, and then sad Sec Mondays is Werder's intervention.

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