The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Erotic Lunch w/Jeremiah Watkins

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Funnyman Jeremiah Watkins has a nightmare fan who gets upset and causes a scene so bad, that Jeremiah makes a documentary about the incident. | The Legion of Skanks makes their interns compete by ingesting bodily fluids. | Jacob and the two Lous have their quarterly lunch with Dan Soder and it becomes erotic. A business bro and his secretary start making out at the bar of a fancy restaurant and Jacob couldn't be more turned on. All things Jeremiah Watkins can be found at www.Jeremiah Watkins.com and his new special "Crazy Pizza" will be out on YouTube in September! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. What, dude? I'm just glad that I came up in comedy when you just had to show up at the show. Buddy, this was not a comedian who did these things. Who did it? A person trying to be an intern for the Legion of Skinks. Yeah, I'm glad I came up before that. I'm glad I didn't want to be an intern.

Now, come on, dude. The R.E.1 is one of the... Back it up. It's one of the hardest things I've ever laughed at in my life. When he lets go, it's Lewis putting a dick-haer-Hatler mustache on Ari Shafir. When he pulls his hand, can you make the screen any bigger? When he pulls his hand away, it's

Ari's face genuinely not in joy. He does not love that there's dick hair on his face. Yeah, nobody should. Yeah. Why would you be into that? I don't know what the fuck. Ari?

Ari is a person who I feel like could also possibly not give a shit about that. Other people's dick hair, though? Dude, it's dick hair from other people. And he's Jewish. And there's so much that he shouldn't. He should not. Well, it wasn't actual Nazi hair, dick hair.

Yeah, but. Well, you don't know that. Can you prove it? First of all, it's a skank audience. No. Yeah, you can't. Yeah. No.

I guess not. I guarantee there's Nazi dick hair under his nose right now. Please play this. Oh, that's disgusting. Oh, his face, though. Holy shit, this is crazy. Oh, man. It's like, good.

I read. I read it is. Well, he's making, because he's disgusted, he's actually making Hitler's face, which is, which makes it funny. Yeah. Oh God, it's gross It's so gross I'm so bad

But anyway One of the interns Yesterday spun the wheel Of punishments And landed on Dick hair Hitler mustache And it was also

Turns out a little bit Of Paco's ass hair Oh God Is it fucking even legal I don't know I don't know about In a restaurant setting That's the only thing

Yeah I mean You can even bring your dog in there Oh well one guy Pubes are allowed You can shave your pubs And stick out another person's lips Can't bring your dog, but one guy did bring his own dokey in a, was it a Tupperware? I didn't even look.

I couldn't even look up. Dude, that made me gag. I couldn't look up. It was in a plastic, like, banana bag that you get from restaurants. Like you're shocked that you, you gagged. Oh, my God. That was too much. That was my line right there.

I'm going to tell you where I was shocked. Again, it's these things like we have a meeting every week to discuss, leave and skanks. It's nuts. It's not that you guys have a pie chart. We have a whole meeting about what. What we're going to go to is, and one of the things was like, let's send them on a scavenger hunt. And we just throw it to the producers, genuinely. Oh, we said, by the way, snort your own cum.

That seemed above board to me. I mean, getting it is not above board. Huh? Was it a stirring a dried cum? I think it evolved and maybe just snort your own wet come instead of snorting other people's dried cum. Oh, God. Well, no one landed on it. It's really a cold-style episode.

Oh, man. Nobody landed on it. Jay is the only one that was like, man, I really wish that one somebody able to hit that one. But here's the thing is, I just don't know where you go from here. I just realized, did we not give Jeremiah a proper and shrug? I said it all before he came in,

but I want to make sure we give it to him. He is the host of Trailer Tales and Stand Up on the Spot on YouTube. The 100th episode of Stand Up on the Spot, featuring yours truly, comes out this Monday in his new one-hour special crazy pizza releasing on September 10th. Subscribe now at YouTube.com slash Jeremiah Walkins to notify you for what free

when it releases from the most MacManamus act in all of Comedy Jam history it is the great Jeremiah Watkins during this always

sucks when you're stuck reading already and you realize I'm going to say Jeremiah Walkins before I introduce his name go to YouTube. Fuck Yeah yeah

Yeah Yeah Why couldn't it be YouTube.com Something else Not the obvious thing I'm sorry I want to make sure

we give a proper introduction As you're a professional broadcast So that's why You know Now let's get back to snorting come Let's talk about that.

I would rather snort dry cum than wet come. Would you rather snort somebody else's dried come or you're a wet come? I'd rather not do... Oh, God. Well, you started this. I did. Oh, you started it by having a fucking... Oh, dude, my own for sure.

Not even a question. That's what I say. Yeah, not even a question. Your own wet come. Yeah, at that point, it's just like snot and other stuff, you know? You mean your children? It's penis snot. Yeah, exactly.

The good one? Yeah, yeah. The ones that didn't make it. Yeah, the Elon Musk. The one that would have took you out of this fucking whole podcasting sham. Just one little weener sneeze. Oh, God. But I would do my own wet before another person's dry.

Of course. Of course. You know why? Because their dry becomes wet once it hits your nose. Then it just becomes someone's cum in your fucking mouth. Now, luckily, the cerebral palsy guy won the scatitis. He didn't have to do his wheel of punishment that would have been icy hot on the balls, which is vicious How do you win? What do you have to do? He went to he did the highest point thing on this

The scavenger hunt, which was a little lopsided too. It was like 1500 points if you did this one thing and he did he went to Times Square and he got a picture with like a street performer and then he refused to pay them after he got his picture Really? Yeah. He has cerebral palsy, so I'm not going to run him down. Yeah, well, they could. They could have easily. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He said no. And so he won on that, and then we sent the guy who had the least points home, and then the two in the middle had to do their wheel of punishments, punishments. And the other guy had to drink piss. What? Drink urine? What did you not hear? Who's urine? Well, that was a real point of contention.

It was going to be anybody's piss. Oh, God. Then it was going to be one of our pisses. Then we dialed it back to being like, all right, let's be okay about this. It could be his wife's piss in a martini glass with olives. So his wife has to get involved in this? She's there. She goes up, tries to piss, comes back, says she can't piss.

She's stage fright. Too much pressure. Wait, she has to piss in front of everybody? No, in the bathroom. Oh, oh, good. Oh, my God, thanks. That's a good. At least you guys have some morals.

Oh, no. You guys aren't shit. This isn't a pornography show. Yeah, I know. So, yeah, Sarah Feene, one of our interns, runs up and, you know, to make sure it's per pissing and not just putting water in there. You had a piss referee? Mm-hmm. A piss, spotter.

Oh, spotter. She went upstairs, came down with no piss, and then went back up by herself and came down with a little. and came down with a little bit of piss and swore it was true. A few people smelled it, didn't seem to think it was piss. It looked too clear. I didn't smell it.

That would have made me gag on placebo effect, for sure. So then a lovely lady from the audience agreed to go upstairs and take. I'm sure she was lovely. She was lovely. She was nice. Nice lady. Oh, you had to chat with her?

Yeah, I talked to her real briefly. Really? But I'm going to say... Oh, in that case, I apologize. Yeah. She was a lovely lady. She was very nice. Yeah, she was there with her husband.

Oh, really? Yeah, she was. Of 20 years. Yeah, I got to know her a little bit, okay? That's a great... Listen, I thought it was just some skank. No way. Not there, you're lovely.

Really lovely person. Oh, yeah. She was a great personality, vivacious energy. Oh, really, vivacious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she was turned up. Yeah. She, uh, no, she was great.

So, we drank the piss. Now, what I... What did come out of yesterday that I'm really excited for, maybe we won't do this, maybe it is too mean. Bobby, what do you think? In the situation, Jeremiah, you'll remember last night, when everyone was trying to say, whose piss is this going to be?

We need piss. And he was, I think he suggested a few times, Serafina, the guy. I don't want to just all blame that on him. I think it was said by a few things out there. Is that the blonde girl? Of course. I'm running interference because she's my comedy daughter.

so she's the same age as Isabella so like I'm like running interference on that but what it came from that question that I really loved how many times the guy seemed into that and was okay with that next week is the lie detector tests and I'm going to ask him would he rather have drank seraphina's piss

than his girlfriend's piss that's a great that's a great lie detector question it's not a breakup question but it's a fight It's a huge fight in the car or on the train or wherever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not a breakup. It's not a breakup.

Also, because at the end of the day, you're going to have to throw the idea out there that, like, to lie detector tests. They don't even let them in court for a reason. But this one's pretty good. Yeah. This one's pretty good. But imagine the eruption if he goes, no, I'd always rather drink my beautiful bride's piss. Thanks, Lou.

I think he's in trouble either way. Holy shit. yeah i mean jake god easy easy she's 23 yeah jacob would eat her shit jacob would take a lie to check your test would you eat her shit yeah no seraphina's gorgeous jacob would definitely eat her shit wouldn't you jacob you've never seen seraphina before no oh it's because you don't hang out with your friends at all or do anything ever ever oh you know what that makes sense you don't hang out of her she's never come to your house or your laundromat oh all right you know

Now that I think about it, it does make sense. You've never seen her before. It's pretty great. Did you, I saw here, it said you guys had an erotic lunch with Soder. Yeah. Why was it a rot? It was for real. It was an erotic lunch.

Well, we went down to Oceana, which is right downstairs. We know where it is. Sure. Jeremiah, to give you a little insight onto this, the fellas here, Dan Soder, like a dad that left for a new hot wife, comes back and takes the kids. to lunch once a month to an old fucking shitty franchise

place it used to be until that place closed down from no one liking it it just shut down ultimately and now they've moved over to Oceana which is right downstairs from here

they do it before work he takes him to a lunch so it's cheap these are all facts okay he's not del Frisco's sister restaurant Del Frisco's is high end me and Jay took them

to Del Frisco's right Dan took him to Del Frisco's and they walked in and then he looked and he goes to go we're switching over from lunch to dinner and he went hell no and then they went over to Oceana so Dan's got a cap spend limit

on his children here there's some great carts outside do you guys want to hit those cart trills he goes I'll tell you what it's call me crazy but I am really hankering for a hot dog right now it's just something in the air right now should we just do dogs this week so you guys like nuts like the nuts with the coating on it

but two but two two meals ago. Two meals ago. Very nice. It is nice. Two meals ago they were supposed to go here and everybody showed up except Dan who was like, oh, I'm landing on a plane.

I completely forgot about this. And they were all standing out there. Just the dad that keeps stringing you along. Dude, they were already wearing lobster bibs. They were so excited. They were just ready for the party. They were packed for the weekend. Dad, can we stay all weekend?

Sorry, kid. Ah, I got held up. Stacey says it's kind of weird if you guys are over, especially when she's not ovulating, and I can really go to Plowtown on her. Poor waiter only got 10% tip that day. Fucking Christ. So why was there lunch erotic?

We go at 3 o'clock right before we come here. So it's dead. Lunch hours. Lunch hours over. The restaurants are always empty. It's just basically us. So we walk in, we get a high table, and there's nobody else in the restaurant except there's a 20-foot beautiful stone bar, marble bar. And dead center is a couple.

A gorgeous, what do you say, Filipino? Yeah. It's pronounced seraphina. Girl. And some. Serafina. And some business schlub. And we're watching it.

and they were just debating what their whole relationship is, and there's no way they were a couple. I mean, they were just had a fling going, and they just start making out in front of the entire dead restaurant, like full tongue. Yeah. Full tongue? I'm talking, and the guy grabs her head and it's like,

Oh, wow. Dude, he went for that act out. I'm telling you, the bar is empty. His tongue is out, out. I'll tell you honestly, you're you transformed in that. You became the character. Yeah. That was awesome.

Thank you. I put everything into it. When I act, I act. I'm on. Can I see it? Jayga, can I see it one more time? James, you wouldn't mind. Just one more time.

I didn't know it was going to be that late. Am I? But Lou is, Lou, am I? Black Lou is doing it also behind you. It was insane because the guy, I mean, he, He's putting her hand on her leg. There's nobody in the bar but us. And the whole staff is having their lunch,

and the bartender is having to clean glasses and pretend that this is not happening right in front of him. He starts to go deeper and deeper in the glasses as he's watching. And, you know, Dan was going, he was took over as the bartender going, oh, yeah. It was great. So we were just watching, I mean, four perverts just with our next cranes watching this go on. Did he slip a hand up or scorer?

That sounds like mistress behavior. I think we determined he was married. But I mean, it's broad daylight. He doesn't give a fuck. He left early. Oh, Shiana, with you and with a Dan Sodorah's forgotten stepkids. He left early after their suck in face make-out satchen. He went, she went to the bathroom to give some time.

Dan watched him go to one building and she went in another direction. Yeah. So. Mistress, mistress behavior. But it was great. And the food was great. So beers, bros, and hot fuck action at the bar. Who had beers?

Fucking Jacob. I had one. You had a fucking beer? You don't know. You don't know me when we were. When we have our lunch. When you're a Dan. Yeah.

You're a different person. They're different. Yeah. I cut loose. No, to be honest, they gave a free World Cup mug, so we wanted a mug. Yeah. We wanted the World Cup. And every time you get hot, you need a beer to cool yourself down.

I really didn't drink too much of it. Yeah. Why? The rest of them pills? No, I mean, the calories, but I wanted a cup. I think when your tongue was out, that's the most excited I've ever seen you. And all the years of me coming in on the bonfire, that tongue was just... Even when he held the back of the hell, he didn't grab it.

He held it like he would have to have to get Perela's hand after. I was going to be like, he's going to pork her, Russ. That's exactly what it was. He's not going to pork her. Nobody else in the restaurant. It's a gigantic restaurant, too. Yeah, you guys fucked up their rendezvous. You guys are fucking up.

They were like, we have the whole place to ourselves. Well, they're going for it anyway. They go, well, that doesn't matter. They were going to drive you out. Yeah, they were like, well, They'll have to leave or deal with it. Yeah. But you guys all dealt with it.

I would have narrated it. Yeah, Dan narrated it. Oh, sorry, I cut that off. Fuck me. What was it? How did it go? How did it go? You got that one.

What was the song again? You just did before that. But she was smoking hot. Yeah. Smoking hot. How was he? He was like a business douche. He was a business douche.

He's like hair, slick-backed, bald, middle-aged. Beard. Yeah, he looked like a fucking douche. She was younger than him. Yeah, yeah. Mistress, dude. It could have just been like an afternoon hooker. No, she looked like she was work.

That would be a lot to do an afternoon hooker making out at a bar. At a fucking seafood restaurant? Why come there at 3 p.m.? And then you part ways. You're like, I got everything I needed. At a lovely high-end seafood restaurant in Times Square. Yeah, why just go to her apartment? You're spending the money.

Yeah, really? No, I like tilapia then. I like a bottom dweller fish In the finger a lady in front of four fucking weirdos Brandzino really gets me going What a great time We had the show on the whole time It was

I mean how can you You can't plan these things Yeah Dan can't either because he missed the last one Yeah he can't even plan when he's going to plan Be with you When you're next dinner You got it on the books already to make sure

No I just everyone Every, every couple of months I say, hey, you might be laughing. Remember me? You guys want to get together. Yeah. I thought it was once a month. No, usually two or three months, actually.

Getting a little bit longer in between now. Is it getting a little longer in between now, it seems? Yeah, it gets longer and longer. DJ Louis beyond. DJ Liu thought it's just as Treat Stanley. He died when he left. I appreciate that. That's how I do with sports teams, dude.

Dan Soder is dead. He's like, rest in peace, Dan Soder. He's like, whatever happened to that guy? Yeah, he just wrote him off completely, which I appreciate. I appreciate that, Lou. It's too much to remember the good times. You only go, you only, that really hurt Bobby the way you said that. Yeah, they really did.

That must have really fucking hurt Bobby so much. I'm pretty sure he turned my mic off when he said it. It hurts too much to remember the good times. What the fuck, do you know, good times now, you asshole? No, I just, Dan's a closed chapter. Well, apparently it's not closed. Every four months it opens up, but you don't let them back into your heart as much. Why you just end it?

Why you just say, hey, dude, forget it. Forget this dumb little lunch you suck us up to. I think everybody, this whole entire crew, Christine Include, is waiting for Dan to come back and get them. Where's he going to take you? His couch? Yes. There's not enough room in that room. I've been in there before.

It's just the couch and him and one producer. You guys, there's no room for you. You can't get your whole board in there, Lou. You're going to be useless over there. Get your head back in the game. Jacob, you could fit wherever. You'll be like an elf on a shelf. Jacob does make sense.

Fucking Jacob on a shelf. That's our producer, Jacob on a shelf, and you just see him, like, between two books. Every day is in a different spot. Good night, moon, and Jacob, sitting next to each other. Jacob, would love to live at Dan's house. Jacob, don't lie. Have you gone back to Oceana around 3 p.m.

another time just hoping to see that couple again? No, I look in every time hoping I'm going to see them. That's what exactly. That's what I'm asking. Do you put your face against glass and put your hair? hands around your eyes to make sure you can see the bar now i always check to see those two hands do you breathe on it and then write hot box in your own breath it was nuts because everyone i mean the entire staff is just getting ready the next time you see them you should go up to them and go i won't

tell if you let me get in on it yeah maybe if you guys would have started doing a circle jerk you could have been another reason why they can't just have their break before the fucking dinner rush you couldn't help but crane your neck and watch them it was just a show Did you whack off to it later? No. Did you think about it to get horny, though? And then whacked off? No, I didn't.

You just whacked off to other gay stuff? Never gay stuff, come on. Never? No. Never. No. Did you ever come at the same time as the guy in porn? No.

You know I don't watch his... That's called an accident, okay? Not to me, dude. That's called syncing our cycles. That's what I say. If I come with the guy at the same time, I'm on the porno, I go, must be a full moon.

Must be high tide. I only come when the guy comes. I mean, it was like a hot business dress too. Did I come out? Did I say that? I'm sorry, Jeremiah. Sometimes I come when the guy comes because I'm coming to the girl getting covered and come.

I never even consider that. Why wouldn't, I mean, that's the big climax. Right. So, why is it bad if you come? It's not. But Jeremiah thinks you are. weird if you do that I'm not I you know not necessarily it may make sense when should you come at the start exactly oh Bobby has to Bobby comes to the crux of the

story I have to everybody goes he goes it looks like she is gonna buy a vacuum from that traveling salesman after all I mean she needs a vacuum clearly that carpet looks filthy I need I only come in the third or fourth act when when it when it it gets, when it seems like it's getting good again, and then it gets bad, but that's the part where I come. Like, oh, they almost made it. But no, more tragedy than I'm coming. Oh, I want to, uh, we talked about it briefly on, uh, last night.

I know you have the new special coming out, crazy pizza. Is a September that's coming out? September 10th, yep. YouTube release? YouTube release. Make it free for everybody. Uh, Jeremiah, I just released a multiple part thing about a, called the, what, the craziest heckler ever? Does that have a title, title technically?

The nightmare heckler. Mayor Heckler. And I saw a few minutes of it, but it's like, how long? It's 45 minutes? Yeah. 45 minutes broke up into a few parts. Yeah. If you can explain to Bobby, like, what, it's...

So basically, I had somebody who was way too drunk that was, he claimed to be a super fan at my show. He's wearing my merch, but at the very... I'm on stage for literally under two minutes, and he's walking towards the stage. And you know how that is. Like, you don't know what people are going to do. Like, when they're walking towards... the stage, you're like, hey.

Oh, I don't know if you know, what they could do is grab you by the ankle and yank you off of a stage. I know it's supposed to be immediately stopped. It's rarely good intentions. Yeah. It's rarely good intentions. It's rarely good intentions. Yeah.

Get them away from the dance. You got to cut that. That club was in a field. It was. It was an airplane hangar. Yeah. My fault. Yeah.

So this dude, he, uh, he was wearing my merch and then he, he, uh, he was wearing my merch and then he, I, we were going back and forth and I was kind of joking about it, trying to, you know, calm down the situation. And, uh, we start talking a little bit. And then he's like, you have to fucking acknowledge me all this stuff. And I'm just like, all right, I could kick you out. We could do that too. And then he went, he went nuclear. Because you didn't acknowledge him because he said he didn't have to.

Because I'm like, I don't have to. Like I'm like, this show is for everybody here. This isn't like a, you know, like, I'm like, we can talk after the show. Like, like, we can do this, you know. And it just. It spiraled. So he went nuclear. He took the shirt off that he had bought for me in another show,

walks towards the stage again, throws it at me on stage. Now he's shirtless in the audience. And he's not a real shirtless type guy. He's like, I'm done being your fan. And he left. And like, it was a mess. Wow. And so I was like doing damage control.

And then the other parts of the audience, they think it's okay to start yelling out stuff because they're, oh, this is what the show is. Is heckled Jeremiah? I didn't realize this was a fucking comedy riot. Yeah, dude. It's, so I did this documentary thing where I interview myself and other characters of mine. Can you say something?

He's really mad at you. He's very mad. Because he took that shirt off and his body is atrocious. That's what I was saying. I was like his body. This guy doesn't love walking around with a shirt off. This guy was violently angry. I mean, the guy's an absolute piece of shit.

You did a, you did a David Vox Mellon on this. Have you, has the guy reached out ever since? No, I haven't talked to him. He's done with you. Yeah, no, he's either. I think he's pretty done. I think he's pretty done. It sucks.

If he shows up at it... I think he's pretty done. If he shows up at all our shows, without him. He's always wearing merch and he always throws it at you. Yeah. That's easy if you can get this guy.

He goes, oh, he's wearing my merch. He's expecting him to throw it at me. Hey, Dickhead. Stop walking around. Fuck you. But I at least got him to take his shirt back, so it wasn't just like leftover of somebody else's merch that's on the stage.

I'm like, dude, put your shirt back. on like chill hang out like i'm just joking around dude like i mean i i gave it to somebody momentarily and they're like thanks i would have so good the shirt is 75 dollars yeah yeah yeah thanks and i'm like no i can't do that i can't give it to some random white guys and this mexican guy's like to give me my merch bag and just you know it's just bad look oh we should where'd you shoot crazy pizza that was in uh batavia illinois uh outside at the comedy vault and they let us uh the staff there is amazing. Liz Volitis.

She's great. She's so cool. And she was so welcoming and she let us do some amazing set design. Like we brought in a stage. We transformed the club. Oh, really? With some set design and we turned it into a 90s pizza parlor on stage. So I'm stoked.

That's very exciting. And what day is? September 10th. September 10th. Right before 9-11. So easy to remember. Yeah, yeah. Well, never forget, in fact.

Right. Well, a lot of people have. The mayor The mayor Yeah yeah Yeah The staff Should we

Should we check on boss You showed me Something outside He was concerning But I've stopped being concerned About Rich Voss Rich Voss is He's giving up comedy

For Israel Whatever the reason is He's super stoked on Israel Yeah but now he's doing Like sobrii Which I of course It's fine But

It is Alcoholics Anonymous He's coming to Christ He's doing some stuff God bless him I think he's trying to find his Social media Personality Maybe

Here's the thing is like dude You can't be You're 70 You're not gonna become a influencer On your own At 70 Take it one day at a time For 63 years

I'm really I really would love to call DeRosa And fucking trash him I just went to Austin for five days. Oh, yeah. Didn't call me one time. Why not?

Because you're not trans. Yeah. Yeah, Bobby. Maybe you got to hear it for me first. I did run into a... He's turned his life over to Tranny Christ. Trawny Christ? Joe's turned his life over to Tranny Christ.

Still has awesome guy abs. Hell yeah, dude. Without a doubt. Oh, man. Monster hog and sick tits. I did run into a transsexual comic. that you know. Joe L.

Joe Ellis? I think so, yeah. Joe Ellis? Yeah. Yeah, really cool. She's great. Yeah, she's very fun. I said I have a bit on stage I'm doing about the stories she told me.

She was in, uh, she was a, uh, she was a black hawk helicopter pilot. Oh. And then became trans and then. Which was up, but I said when she did it, it was okay. Like, she was still allowed to be a black hawk helicopter part. And then Trump switched the rule that don't ask, don't tell was flipped. So now she just got kicked out of the military. Yeah.

No pension or anything. It's crazy. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's no, you can't get grandmothered in? I think it's grand them and.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe Ellis, yeah, she's great. Yeah, she's cool. Very cool. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, she was in the front row with a guy, and I really wanted to fuck with her or talk to her, but I was so, I didn't want to, I didn't know, and Jay said, I didn't know if the guy knew. You know what I mean?

I don't want to be like, hey, I was like, oh, right. And he'd be like, what? Like, oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, that guy knew. That guy knew. In hindsight. They always know.

Unless we're in Thailand or something, you're going to have an inkling. Yeah. She was a foot and a half tall of them sitting down. She's actually been a big, I think she's been a big help for Tony, too, with the kind of hatred that he gets and stuff coming at him. Like, she really comes out and says, like, he's been great. Right. That's why I found her. I found her defending Tony and the actual show.

itself talking about how diverse it really is. She's cool and like a legit fan of comedy. She's doing comedy also, but she's a legit fan of it, which is great. Yeah, but she was a Black Hawk helicopter pilot. That's wild. It's crazy. Now she has great cans. Yeah? I didn't see him, but I saw the cleavage, unless she's mushing that chest together.

Would you suck her mussey? No, I would not suck her mussey. I don't think so. I'd have to start off a little small than that. I'd have to start. Well, if you'd If you scroll, I was scrolling, I was, I talked to her after the show, really, she's really cool. But if you scroll through a page, if you scroll through the Instagram page, she has very beautiful photos of her. Of course.

But then she has one where she's, uh, where she's the helicopter pilot and now her now. Are you talking about her dick swinging between her legs, the helicopter? Yeah, yeah. She got into some light puppetry of the penis when she got back from Fallujah. Oh, on Instagram. So it's like she was, she was definitely a, she was definitely a, uh, uh, dude. I mean, they have the uniform page. You're like, oh, shit.

And then she's beautiful. Scroll all the way down. Yeah, keep scrolling. It's on Instagram. How deep of a dive have you done in the group? I dive deep, dude. I always dive deep. Yeah, we go all the way back.

Go back, dude. If you ever see a trans girl on Instagram, you've got to scroll down to where it happened. You got to see the transition. Why bother? She stayed partying with Jason Ellis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was interesting. Yeah, keep going.

Oh, there you passed it. Scroll up. Right there. Oh, wow. Oh, wow, it's right. Oh, wow. I tried to fuck that guy. Before the surgery, I mean.

Does you find out he goes, I was a gay guy who was early into that guy? Oh, now it's a chick, yick. Yeah, that is definitely a transverse. Joellis is great though. Unoffendable, super sweet, like gets comedy, doing comedy now. She's awesome. Yeah, apparently she was yelling stuff out during my show. She wanted me to fuck with her.

And I just didn't want to... I didn't want to fuck things up or offend her. I was talking about some dude, I bet you got a big dick and she was yelling up. Mine's bigger, but I didn't hear it. I wish I did. Yeah. Yeah. You probably could have seen it and sucked it, but you brought your fucking family like an idiot.

Oh my God, I ruined the whole fucking weekend. Dude, you could have been... Dude, you could have been the... 75th comic to blow a trans in the comedy condo of comedy mothership On the 250th anniversary of this country How great would that be on 4th of July to blow An ex-fucking army

Fucking person I'm just sucking it doing it Fireworks going off Singing the National Anthem Nah nah nah No James getting excited Joe Rogan fires his arrow off target

He fires his arrow off target Because you go He goes another comic got blown by a trans in the cousin. What's that? What's happening up in that condo I'm paying for? Oh my God. Yeah, I would be afraid to do anything in that condo because I really believe this fucking cameras up there or something. I don't know if there's cameras up there, but I know when you get in there is a sign almost right away. It goes, don't eat or drink in the bedrooms. I'm like, can I just have a hotel? It's like the whole thing. Right. I don't want to sit at the

dining room table. That's the first thing it says. To one of the rules. I always eat in my hotel bed. It's all I do. Well, because your hotel bed doesn't have a fucking living room and a dining room. Yeah, but you don't want to sit at a dining room by yourself and a fuck, it's weird anyway. No, it feels better to eat in a bed. I never eaten a bed. Really? No.

I mean, dude, so it digest strange. I think we could. I think what I was... I'm so you eat and every swallow hurts because it's going the wrong direction. It's not going down. It's going across. I should say I never eaten a bed anymore when I was really fat. You used to eat beds?

I used to. I used to get in the bed and put the towel over my stomach as a napkin. Oh, that's bad. That's pretty bad. I've never accepted a full... You know what? Definitely not... I've never accepted, like, a lay-down, like, you know, like food on my chesting.

But I've definitely accepted... By accident, realizing it whether it be a movie theater or anything, that I've done this at, like, a game or something where it's, like, the... Between your tit and where your stomach starts is just your little table thing. Yeah. You're like I'm a little dent, like a little cup holder for my big gulp. Yeah, I usually, when I was real fed, I had a towel that had food stains on it and one that had jizz stains on it. And then one to clean and dry off.

Oh, wow. In between your coming and eating? Hey, I washed all three. Which one of your thing's which? You get stilted out. Or me, you went next up on the intern Olympics. And next week on intern Olympics. Ooh, those fucking, those live textures are going to be a lot of fun.

Jeremiah Watkins, new special crazy pizza. It's coming out September 10th right there on YouTube. Subscribe right now at YouTube.com slash Jeremiah walkins to notify you for free when it releases. Jeremiah's absolutely hilarious. Make sure you check out all of his shit. As in trailer tales and stand-up on the spot, the 100th episode of Stand Up on the Spot is coming out on Monday. I'm on that. Oh, yeah.

I'm on that one. I'm trying to get Bobby to do the one at Skink. I'm in. Yeah, dude. I'm in. Wrapping in. I'm in. You just made.

Now Christina doesn't have to work tonight. I know. She's not to work at Skankfest either. Yes, somebody else got to party. You know, I don't do extra shows. Oh, I know. I know. I've been working on you for years.

I've paid my dues. I'm an old man at Skank Fest. I get to sit and smoke cigars. It's true. You just stand up on the smile. Bobby Kelly's going to be in Port Smith, New Hampshire, July 25th. after that Saratoga Springs Brooklyn, New York, and so much more on deck.

Go to Punch Up That Live slash Robert Kelly. Just go to Big J.commy.com for all my dates. I got a bunch of stuff coming up. We will catch you guys tomorrow for our last live show. The week, Jeremiah, thank you so much for being here. And until next time. Thanks so much for having me, guys.

Cuckle, crack.