The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Euphoria

Episode Date: January 21, 2022

Producer Jacob discovers Euphoria and the guys witness a stand up special that has them in disbelief.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bond Fire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. It's the Bond Fire everybody. In fact, I'm talking to Series XM 103. I'm Big J. Ocarson and I'm the hilarious son of a bitches dance soda. How you doing? How you doing? In studio we're at DJ Lu. We have our

Christine Murray Evans. All the way out in dirty jures we got our black king the black tiger Louis. And Jacob down in Florida who is just spent. He's been laying out batch to a new show on, or not even a new show, a show on HBO. New season. A new season. I think it's for tweens, but you know,

and Jacob I guess to beat to Euphoria, correct? Yeah, it was in Deja. Yeah, it was in Deja, which I only know is playing a child. Ah! Yeah, it was in day. Huh. Yeah, it was in day. Which I only know is playing a child. Oh, I only know where is the child from Spider-Man his high school sweetie. Yeah, but in this one, I guess what are they just fucking blowing coke up each other's asses and sucking each other off seems to be the reviews. I've heard it's very said I couldn't

Nothing ever all seeing like a dirty show like that or nudity in a show like that would do to me now, is probably make me uncomfortable with whoever I'm sitting with. You know what I mean? It doesn't make me turn on and I'm like, oh man, this is too much. And if I was watching it on my own,

I'm gonna just flip over to pornography and beat it if I get that horny. But I'm not gonna beat to the thing, to like HBO level Yeah, dirty. I mean DJ Lou said it made him feel made you feel like a teenager again, right watching it Yeah, maybe feel young again. That's true. Why was that your youth just non-stop fucking hot chicks? Oh, I didn't realize that throw you back so much. Oh, that takes me back Yeah, I remember when all the hot girls, the sexy malatos,

the Asians, all of them on my tip. A taste of everything. That's how we set it back then. They're on my tip. What is this show? Is it just cool people having sweaty sex? I guess, Jacob, what's it about? It seems it's all between the young pussy. People in, I haven't, I've only watched this one episode, but I've read a little of it.

It just seems way over the top way over sexualized teens. They go to the raunchiest house parties. They talk with super violent idiot drug dealers who do super violent stuff in front of them and to them and they just keep dating them. They OD. I tell you have I'm wanting to watch it. Wicked sex and then they just go to school the next day. And they're learning. This is a real commercial by the way. I feel like I start watching you for you. Wow, Jacob. I want to sell it. Is it take place in New York City? I think it's

LA. Okay. Because whatever it sounds like scuzz LA. Yeah, well, whenever they do like a LA or New York thing, they can treat the teenagers like adults, but if they tried to do it in like, you know, a Midwestern town. Yeah, it's like Columbus. You'd be like, I don't know, our kids do it. Yeah, there was, yeah. There's what? I mean, one particular scene I watched in the season premiere. One idiot guy, he's a high school student. He picks up this beautiful girl in a car and they start drinking beers. And he just starts flooring it, like going well over a hundred miles an hour and you see her getting nervous and nervous, how fast he's going. And wet. Yeah, Melissa.

Okay. You called it because I mean, you see her. You're freaking out that he's going so fast. He's just a douche trying to impress her. Sure. That's what Dush is do. Jacob Dush is dry fast and it gets lady slick. Dush goes fast. Yeah, whenever we're driving anywhere and there's a guy that's like, you know, New York, you see the guys that like drive up and cut like this. Oh, the ziplane guy. Yeah, the guy's definitely saw as a fucking lightning bolt shaved in his hair. Yeah, whenever I do that and I'm with Katie, I'm like, please don't leave me for him.

He's not leaving that man with that monster cock that can go all night because he drives like it. Yeah. By the way if you drive like that you're a fucking asshole. You're not cool. No one thinks you're cool. Or you're so cool. Yeah, or you're so cool you're willing to die.

There's a small circle. There's a small circle of Asian and Hispanic kids that maybe you're the coolest. If you hit that bullseye you're the coolest but most of the time you're a dildo. Yeah. It's like fucking DJ Lewis. He only lives his life a quarter mile at a time. Yeah. Thank you, all right. So go ahead, he's driving super fast.

She's freaking out. Yeah, and you see the terror in her eyes, because now he's just flooring it and the speedometer is going up and up and up. They're well over a hundred. I'm thinking like, now she's just gonna scream and plead with the guy to just slow down. Instead, she smiles and takes her panties off

and the next scene they're banging in the bathroom of the house party. Yeah, it sounds like Virginia here. Yeah, what's, it's, you'll find that relatable. Take a look, I look at our understanding when I would leave when I would leave red robin as a bus boy I would go get my unattainably hot girl friend and then in the 96 Dodge Stratas you know punch it over a hundred She rip off the pants god forbid you even hit a mild bump the mufflers hitting ground. Yeah bump the mufflers hitting ground. Yeah, I got my spoiler on the back. I'm tearing through the wind. Oh, he hits the noss. And then I just got the wind bluer panties off. You didn't even have to. And then I pull over and have sex with zero problems just like I have my entire life. But it's never

encountered a sexual problem. But it's standing against a tree sex where my pants are down to like the middle of my thigh, but you really see that side dent in my ass. Oh my God, that's let you know. That's how you know there's pumps happening. You know we're acting. I'm keeping up all my body weight with my right forearm and then with my left hand, I'm putting her hair behind her ear and I'm going, are you okay? Yeah.

And then you can see me enter as I go, we both breathe like that. We both breathe like that when I enter. Well, by the way, that was high school, right? That was. Toats. Not the jump ship, but I watch play,

I watch Ghostbusters the original the other day. I know it sucks, but I'm still gonna try. I know, that's too much to be original. Okay. I'm so nervous. I don't want it to suck. I was waiting for this movie for a year. There's a line. It sucks. There's a line where it's I'll be honest with you. I remember you said

DJ Lou said it's good. I talked DJ Lou about it outside like even his reasons. I was able to go, okay, but that like warm thin your heart aside. What a piece of shit. Right. He was like, yeah, the worst. So he's with me. All right, I won't even watch it. You have to. No, I don't care anymore. You don't mean that. Fuck you, Harold Ramus' ghost. I'll bet you'll cry. He'll cry.

Yeah, of course I will, dude. No, you won't. No, you won't. I guarantee I at least lump in the throat. Nope. I gotta watch it. Yeah, watch it. Now you gotta do the lump test.

I'll lump up so fast, dude. Oh! It's an emotional mastectomy. I'll do it, dude. I'll get word up. I'm emotional. fast. Yeah. It's an emotional mastectomy. I'll do it, dude. I'll get where I'm about. Emotional. What do you call that? Not a mastectomy.

What's the test? Please squeeze your tit. Mammogram. Mammogram. Yeah. An emotional mammogram. But what are you saying about? Are you watching the original?

Yeah. I forgot that like a Sigurdian weaver is this line when she's a zoo. Yeah. She's like, I want you inside of me. And that's pretty intense for a comedy, the sort of for kids. I mean, for everybody, but it was like, kids watched Ghostbusters. Dude, the 80s just let it happen. Yeah, I want you inside. He's great. He goes, oh, I think it's a little crowded and they're already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched it recently too. It's fucking good.

I think the line of the movie now that gets me. My favorite scene is always when he walks in Dana's house with the best scene ever. When she's already possessed. When he's being shitty to any pots, or what he's asking her if there's anything to do. And she's like, is there any calls? And she goes, no, Doc DeVanc, when he goes, I will type something, and I'll paint you by the hour.

He goes, stop staring, he goes, I got those bug eyes. And then he just turns right around. He goes, he goes, this bug eyes. He goes, Janine, sorry about the bug eyes thing they just turns right around he goes you guys bug eyes. He is Janine Sorry about the bug eyes thing. I'll be in my office He just sits in a chair behind her basically Yeah, don't worry

Knowing that was supposed to be um Eddie Murphy I think they would have made it a worse movie you think so You think so, I'm gonna bottle in a acroid Uh, let me not acroid uh, Baluci Baluci would have been who's supposed to be Baluci Eddie Murphy

and Dan Acroid and Bill Murray No, Bill Murray was the replacement for Baluci Yeah, no, I mean also I call it Comedy Yeah, terrible things to say I couldn't give a fuck about John Baluci You know what when you say that, I get it. I get it and I know I can be turned,

but I also, I'm gonna say this. I can break it too. I know a lot of people are gonna be mad at me for saying this, but sometimes I feel like that way with, especially with late kinnison, I'm like, done doing anything for me. Do the guys start making music videos? I know, done doing anything.

There's like one special where I'm like, damn, he's fucking good and then, I'm like, the rest of it. I'm like, I don't know. I was like, could, could completely obliterate it on drugs. Yeah, it's pretty cool. It's got like stern appearances where he's like, so high, he's like, it's like not actually funny. You're just like, dude, you sound horrible. What do you do? He's just like, slurring his words in the seven in the morning, because he never stopped partying. He just like went too hard. Yeah. Like, he fed it too much in the fame. Yeah, we started bringing women on the stage with leashes. Yeah, instead of keeping strong with what he did. And I know a lot of people I fuck you. You don't get I don't know. I just never,

my whole life I was always I think it was too young. I'm just like, I don't yell it from the rooftops. I don't give the billhicks. It's never tickled me. See, I like Bill Hicks. I know. I don't get it. It's another one. It's like, uh, I liked a lot. I liked a don't get it. It's another one. It's like, uh, I like to, I like to like to lot of his jokes. It's like guys trying to sound smart. Oh, there is definitely that. I don't like it.

I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that.

I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don just turns into like you're pontificating. He's like, one of the things like advertisers who are from Satan's asshole. It's a funny joke until it goes to that until it goes to the point where you're like, I got it. Shit. The premise of it's funny to be like the whole thing of like, oh, I see what you're going for. You're going for the non advertising dollars. And he's like, stop that. And then it keeps going to the point where you're like, all right,

I got it, dude. No, but just his anger it was just so like Forced and you're like all right dude his half hour his HBO one night stand is good That's like really but he's like fart jokes in that he's being like like Yeah, no, it's a total ladies comedy or like early 90s comedy special that's what I saw that was like What you know are what saw I'm gonna get danger field special special Yeah, and it's like he does Joe's doing that. Yeah, and then but I mean not only that we've done Joe that's almost my point he gets he gets put up on this like pedestal Which is fine by the way if you love me. That's such a subjective art. I'm not saying he's terrible I'm saying to me. I like him and I'm saying I can agree with what you're saying

Maybe the self-importance shit at the end right because like when I saw in the beginning It was just I was more surprised that it was like just comedy comedy. Right, because when I saw in the beginning, it was just, I was more surprised that it was just comedy comedy, but then also I thought for the comedy comedy, it was like, you ever see a hillbilly to move with you? Hey, you gotta get in. It just seems kind of hacky almost what it was. So it was like, it went from me,

all I saw was him be sort of like a young comedian special thing. It's like, I have Mari Povice jokes I've done on TV. Do you know what I mean like i'm not saying i'm anywhere better or near him at all other than like i just saw jump from that to be in like everything he says is so important you know i mean this guy saying the things that makes the difference you see tools made songs about him yeah you've seen comedians that we know do that where they start feeling themselves and then they start really fucking being like pontificating really pontificating I can name a couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can name a couple that you see you're like he's a funny guy I don't think he's funny enough to like

pontificate this much and did you masterclass? Yeah, like you know That kind of like now let me tell you what I did right there and you're like This is gay you see The science I'll just say right now, but there's I want to do a special called comedy scientists at every joke be about like do a joke and explain every nuance You understand what happened right there really what I did was I would love the reason fuck is fun Here's the same reason that the word duck is funnier than cat

hard ck you see it's all about the way people take things in audibly dude I know somebody that was walking around calling themselves a mix of carlin and fucking hicks and you're like it's crazy thing to put on your way there you are yeah crazy thing but look at this guy crazy thing like, oh yeah, two guys that everyone loves that are dead that can't contend with it. I'll do it. I mean, I mean, she's pale. She's pale.

She's kind of there right now. He's doing more of the pontificating than just like jokes. You know what's funny? I don't even watch the newest thing yet. You would think it's a terrible special. What do I? Yeah. I know everyone's watching, but here's the thing.

The people that are defending him are defending to say like he can joke about what he wants to joke about, which obviously. Yeah, well yeah, I've never brought it up. But if you're gonna try to tell me, it's not even a quarter as good as sticks and stones. No, no. That was a great special.

So I don't, so I didn't even see it to say, but what I would say was, I'm sure there's a bunch of that in there The self-importance of it, I guess but like he also The stuff I read that the things are people are mad about everything I read made me laugh Do you know I mean I got you know he's got it in the written words like things there. I'm like that's really fucking funny I would probably say he's the best a Person alive that's on stage to control a room. Thanks. Second to Jay Okay, no, no, you didn't know. Oh, dude. That's fucking that's unprompted everybody

I know, Kristen. Jesus. Jesus. Uh, I suppose my favorite comedian of all time easily. It's just I'm saying right there. There's thanks to Now, just a second. Every time you see everything goes. I'll tell you what you know, uh, I'd say Second every time you see every that goes I'll tell you what you know, I'd say Was it a kashobi? Is my favorite hot dog eater. Yeah, thanks. Thanks dude. I go Second to J. Oh

Kobayashi. Yeah, come action my favorite hot dog. He's probably my professional eater only second Thank you. Oh dance so cool you said I even have to med you everything I go dude I have to my favorite burger in the country second only goes to the one the jail Kristen Macs. Oh that's this guy's actually my favorite author he goes okay well I assume assuming Jay is gonna write a book one day like it's probably gonna be so on spec alone second only to big jail thank you Dan I wasn't even looking for that one. I looked at you all, said, said, thanks. Makes me feel so good. But I would, I mean, do you have friends that have done that?

I'm wondering which one of our friends have kind of brushed up against the pontificating? Sometimes I'll be, like, I try a new joke and I'll be like, this is pontificating, it sucks. No, what I like is I, I have a bunch of jokes. Cause I was thinking here and go, someone's gonna say, you're there preaching the word pontificate, I go,

no, but everything on pontificating is just like, or not, everything I say at the end of it, you could be able to go, or the opposite, I don't know, cares. You know what I mean? So like, I get that, so it's not, I think the sound of like preachy and humor works sometimes.

Do you know what I mean? Like, preaching the word up there, but it should still be kind of silly. Do you know what I mean? So I'm getting lost where it's like too much intent stuff. Yeah, by the way, I mean, any comic, not even tell my friends so much, but like any comic who's in it for a while

who doesn't have anything pop for them, eventually you see him on the side of like, they're pissed about something, you know. Here's a YouTube rant about why Middle Eastern people don't have a shot in this business, you know, something like what? Yeah, man, it's mentally unhealthy people trying to be entertaining.

Right, yeah. So you're gonna get some fucking fun ones But that's why the ones that are always self-informed I will say I don't feel a Pete Davidson has done that actually at all. No, we are really if he hasn't put itself I think Well, I saw those pictures of him and Kim Kardashian landing in the Bahamas and like it looks like an excited boy that he's with this beautiful Fucking chick, but his face looks so genuine. You can't not cheer for him knowing

that he's just kind of the whole time being like, it's like this is fucking wacky. This is crazy. We know him enough to know that he thinks it's insane. Yeah, he's not walking around being like, that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah, yet he's comfortable enough in it that he can not every day look like a lunatic

when he wakes up, when she opens her eyes waking up and he just like sitting there big too smile at her already up in a froward. I have. Dude, how weird it would be if we did it and then I'd just be up in my jeans with my shoes on and like I don't know when you can wake up. Yeah. Hey, could we crash your place with Kim Pete? I'm not going to go wrong.

Damn, dude. Yeah, he's so boyishly happy. Look at him. It's like that's the pick. That's one of the few pictures I've seen of Pete in his world now where I was like, oh, that's Pete. It's like, like that's actually, that's, you know, how I picked your piece.

She's got gencles on and her boobies are out. This is pretty awesome. Oh my God, everyone's probably looking at your boobes. Doesn't even care about my ridiculous outfit. You know, that's odd boobies. Not even outside boobies. God damn. get them Pete You gotta start preaching. Let me tell you what's wrong with the business man

My lord, you know, it's uh, you know, I was saying like our businesses filled with a bunch of fucking wackadus the people that Try to act friendly and nice the whole time and then start cracking, you know? Damn, I was just remembering something we watched together, gathering that, man, I, because I never watched the whole thing, so I just saw a part of a comedy thing and, and man, it's just... Are you talking about seeing Joe showed us? Oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been non-stop thinking about it. Yeah, it blows my mind. I haven't really talked about it with anyone You get this secret meeting of an illuminati. Yeah, you got to bring it up with your therapist You know, it was Damn was mind-jarbling. I'm sorry everyone ask me when you see me on the road in person. I'll tell you probably Patch you down for a while here Yeah, ask me face-to-face what we can tell you generic terms., we'll tell you face to face. We got to patch you down for a while here. Yeah, as we face to face what? We can tell you generic terms.

There is a, there's someone out there with a comedy special. We won't say on what platform. It's somebody. We won't even give you a sex. We don't even know their gender or their pronouns. But they have a closer that is the worst joke any of us have ever seen.

And what's funny is Christine thinks, is we've talked about a closer that has blown all of our minds for a few months now. Oh, yeah, it was the one that Katie and I watched and I harmed her. You, I harmed her. You told her. I grabbed her arm so hard that I was afraid I bruised her because I was like, as the joke was progressing

I was like no No, and when and when they said goodnight when they're like all right. Thank you good night I was like there's no way that's the close to like and With what Dan's talking about That one when Joe says I sent that to Jay. Here's just how our friendship works. I sent clips to Jay. Jay sends clips to me. If a clip really does something to one of us,

we will call each other and be like, yeah, what the fuck did we just watch? So I was in San Diego. I met up with Nate just randomly because Nate was at the Barcelona theater or Balboa theater. And I was at American Comedy Company. We meet up, we're having breakfast. Jay doesn't know we're together and Jay calls me to be like, you said to watch this thing and I was afraid you oversold it and you undersold it. It's way worse than you even. And I laid it on thick with how bad this thing was.

That's the one you know. That's what you're thinking of. Okay. The closer that you're thinking of. Okay. The closer that you saw that and then there was a new. Oh my God. There's one. There's a scene. Now what Joe Dero's and I understand what Joe Dero's has said. Look at this. And it goes. It makes that other one look like Karlin. I think that was his words. Karlin are prior and he's not wrong. It's not wrong. And so then, Jake called me when I showed you the first, when I showed you guys the first one.

Jake called me and I picked up in San Diego and Nate was like, I can't be that bad. I logged in to my password on his rented TV and put it on for him, his openers and his tour manager, and we watched it like a scientific study. And at the end, he was like, I'm in. What's going on? What even is that?

And you're like, I don't know. It's a closing bit on a major streaming network. But, no, I don't know if you do. You know what that is, but you don't know this other one. This other one, Jacob, which was brought to our attention when we were hanging out with a bunch of people, I swear to you, it takes everything, this is why I need a crew with me,

everything in me just to go, just sink the ship and play the bit, because I think if you're driving in a car, you're gonna be like, what the fuck is this? You can find it. If you like stand-up comedy, you can find it. And we will give you a clue. It was a special that was released in 2021.

It's relatively accessible. In fact, might be a few clicks over from Euphoria. I would say that this thing, just as comedians, you're like, what's going on? I would say that this thing, just as comedians, you're like, what's going on? Because Facebook cameras grew as a blaze right now. I think that's it. You have a guess? Mouth it.

Put it up. Put it in the chat so I can get it. Is this recording? Is the chat recording? Yeah. Put it in the chat is recording? Oh, no. Group text it. No, chat. I just said mouth it

No, but her check it so Jacob because Jacob wants to know who it is And if you're listening, this is what good radio is because now you're interested. No, no, nope. You're incorrect Really? Incorrect. That's the that trailer is the one you're showing. Yeah, the trailer for that What was my was my nomination for a worse thing of the year. Yeah, mine was another thing. Mine was an Instagram post. But this one.

Pretty bad. I'm not seeing you. No, she's not. I will send it. All right, so that was your guess. That trailer Jacob will make you want to break a computer, but that's not on the thing. I think here, listen, to pull it off the subject

so we don't drive the listeners crazy because we're not going to give you the name of it. But you will guess it. But I will just say that I always wonder when I listen to music and there's like shitty music getting over or like shitty television. You always wonder if people that work in television or people that work in music like it and maybe you don't you're not seeing something. Maybe you're like, you can watch stuff and be like,

I feel like comedy is very much like that, where you don't, like, if you're a fan of comedy, just know, so are comedians, we're fans of comedy, and we watch stuff, and we're like. We have a much lower tolerance for shitties. For shitties. We accept a lot less. But I said that's different. I will also phonies because you're an entertainment industry. But you're never, but you're not, someone's

not wrong to be my two favorite comics are Dan Soder and Sebastian, Dan Soder and Carrotop. I take that all day. Dan, you get what I'm saying? It's like, it's not, it's just whatever it is that strikes them strikes you. But there's comics. Yeah. As comics, you go, and I, Carrotop is just an example, because that's one of the people I think was just pure jealousy, but people build Carrotop fucking suck. But they're holding him to some standard of, that's different than the world. Like as an audience, you're like, this shit makes me laugh.

I don't know, man, it tickles me. So where does, who cares what it is? You brought a Bill Hicks, but he has one of my, is hack to make fun of Carotop, but his description of it really makes me laugh. Where he goes, I can barely sell tickets and they're draining the seas to build bleachers for Carotop. And that's really funny.

That's a very funny imagery. They're draining the seas to build bleachers for Carotop is so funny. But yeah, we watch you. Jacob S. Nell, he doesn't know yet. Well, I put my guess in the Oh, you put your guessing I'll type out what it was. I mean this was like watching Yeah, damn, dude, I got it. You got it. I was almost ready to call I was ready to call you when I saw

Dude, we're talking about that closer. Did you make it to the end? And I'm not a comic. I don't belong Did you make it to the end? And I'm not a comic. I don't belong. I'm so proud of myself. Yeah, good job. Did you, Jacob, did you watch it? Did you watch the end? I watched the end and was at the verge of texting you want to say that probably on stage or something. Jacob, it was going to call, it was going to call Jay. It was just that moment. It was extraordinarily horrible.

Jacob, the next time you see, Jacob, the next time you're in studio and you see Joe D'Arosa, just say that name to him and watch him be like, I mean, he gets Joe Madri goes, oh, this fucking thing. He made it stop. He made it stop talking. We were all over the top.

We were talking around, people that we haven't seen in a while, we were hanging out and he was like, shut the fuck up. He was like you have this and someone would say a little something He'd go he'd go who you fucks you got to hear every word And he was right. I was even parading. I was I was making fun of the structure of the joke and Joe was like and by the way, I was I was running with it. Yeah, I had a whole different take on it. That was just his corny and Joe, who loves a riff, Joey D loves a riff, shut it down. It was like, shut up and watch this.

It gets so much worse than you think it is. And it's like, no, he did. It did. And then I just did Jacob. How did you feel when you watched that? I felt sad, like I felt depressed. It's the opposite. Promoting.

Brian in Texas says, Brian in Texas wrote, tell us now. I'll be in Addison, Texas. And in like three weeks. BigJComedy.com for tickets. You want to know, dude. How close you to Addison,

how much does it mean you to find out? Cause he'll tell you you I'll tell you Guess what me smoking weed after a show Rochester? Oh, I Rochester, yeah, you want to you want to find out comedy at the Carlson wait 15 minutes after my set Early February then he get a little bit of riprored on the old week you guys will all be in a green room Or he'll be throwing it to the monitors in the in the We'll do a side show on the side stage and break it down. I'll bring it up like the Zafruder film. Oh, Zafruder, how do you say that? The Pruder?

The Pruder. The Pruder. You know what I just found out? Comptroller isn't Comptroller. It's Comptroller. Oh, really? I always say Comptroller. Me too. That's always the thing I say that people vote for in a place. Yeah, I see the police are very close to it. I think I said that in a, they kept yelling out in Jacksonville in the name of their county. I still don't vote for in a place. Yeah, my seat place are very close to I think I said that in a they kept yelling

out in Jacksonville in the name of their county. Still know what it was called. Do vol. Yeah, is that what it is? Yeah, do vol. Yeah, do vol county. Am I right? I don't know, look that. Whatever it is, they kept saying that I was I think that's their like thing. Yeah, it sure is, but I wasn't getting it at all. I was like, I think you guys vote for Comptroller here. Yeah, shit. You give a shit so much about I was like, I bet you guys vote for Comptroller here. Yeah, shit.

You give a shit so much about your stupid. I go, you guys are down to giving a fuck about counties. We got the old jeopardies recorded, and when we watch them, we catch up on them. They're like, it's election season right now. Like June of 2021, and it's like, vote for Comptroller. And I was like, I thought it was Comptroller. Yeah, it's Duval County.

Yeah. That's why it's a little Duval. Is he from there? Nice, from Jacksonville. How's he know that? Cause a little Duval. Yeah. And because of AW, AW is filmed in Jacksonville,

at the Daily Center, and they always talk about Duval County. Damn. All right, good. I learned things from comedy and wrestling. I'm an idiot. Jacob. And I asked that you're two successful comedians. All right, I learned things from comedy. No, I learned things from comedy and wrestling. I'm an idiot. Jacob And I asked that you're two successful comedians and this was my main thought like when I watched it the first time How does this get?

Approved. How does this say how does somebody? I can't guess I genuinely Jacob there was a moment where we were like, I guess they're going for something different. I guess it's just, I don't know. It made me feel early. It made me feel old in a way that was very unsettling and scary of like, I thought we were all I've never seen a conversation. I thought we're all trying to be funny. A comedy special ending was seven minutes of complete seriousness. I don't know. Do you remember when Carlos Mincea ended his hour? I think it was on comedy central dude. I remember watching that drunk. Yo, that is why the cage bird sings peace goodbye everybody Dude it really is We gotta get he's like we gotta get together, man. He like he fucking leans on me at the end of it

He like he fucking leans on me at the end of it Brutal quote the Raven never more fuckers Yeah, and that's for whom the Bell Tolls Adios I say and that is the country buried down Goodbye fuckers Who leaves in a low rider on the stage bouncing cheap cheap cheap Who leaves in a low rider on the stage bouncing? Cheep, cheep, cheep! Uh-huh.

Guys, make sure you come see me and Dan on tour, man. If you'll find out who this is, dude, we should do a watch along a secret group. I just will. I know myself enough to know if there's a way to pull up that closer. I'll stand in a circle with people, casting around a joint and show it. Euphoria had more humor in it than the ending of this special. A use of a whole thing, was there any redeeming quality? Oh no, I caught like the last 15 minutes.

Oh yeah, then you guys see. But I think it's the same thing. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We didn't watch the whole thing, we just watched the end. The roads had just shut us the end and it was fucking mind blowing. It was just from the sense of like, what do we do it?

And not in a way, I mean, not in a way that I feel like I could be wrong. I feel like I'm 99% of the stuff that I talk about throughout my life. I feel like I could be wrong at any moment. Anybody could be like, it's actually completely wrong. And yet your facts are wrong. And I'd be like, oh, yeah, I figured this is where we don't get addiction in stuff like politics Not all yeah, probably I don't know how what to like by the way you should vote for your controller because that's the budget for your city And I'm like I don't know that all right next somebody really how far you away from like a person that doesn't necessarily

Now some cells as a trumper, but just come go cuz I don't like care But this is why Biden's horrible, the leaving the conversation, be like, I don't know if Biden's doing good, he might be doing terrible. I don't even know, I don't know. How did he, that guy, that guy with a flannel shirt and a truck hat told me that he sucks. I have French rou, I have some friends

that want to find that, they like, they'll lead with that to try to get into it, I had this buddy that was like, how are things in New York? How are things in COVID crazy New York? I was like, pretty normal. Yeah, people give you ass in that too, there go. Is it chaos in the streets up there? No.

It's pretty normal. In fact, everybody left. A little bit of a bummer, like, everyone's kind of like sick and... Christmas was more. But Christmas, even with the variance raging, there was still too many tourists, you know, around the tree and people were fucking chopping and shit, but I'm like, I don't

know, create an Omicron. And that's scientific fact. That is fact. That is tested. That is proven. The only thing I'll talk about in fact is science. The only thing I'll talk about with a very hot opinion is abortion. Black people are more prone to COVID.

These are facts. Everybody. I can't call it. And I'll say right now, all the land west of the Mississippi was ours by Manifest Destiny. Manifest Destiny. And that right there is facts. Yeah, but the only thing I'm confident it is is that this is not the way to close a comedy special.

It's that you would be like, would you ever do do that and I honestly don't see the point in Watch if you're trying to say it's smart. Oh Watch go to the last few minutes of any recent comedy on a large platform You're bound to find it you could also use a little deductive reasoning Oh look and be like and be like I don't know if they would have saved about this person Get your Da Vinci code on because the clues are here. We're not telling you. It's not a friend or a friend We're not we can give you an anagram. Join me to give you clues Go want me to kill a cardinal. Yeah, you burn it into them. Where the sky meets the moon. There is a

Sand meets water, but only under the star. Okay. You don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about a solve for this. By the way, the treasure is just a shitty bit. Yeah, but, kind of thing, when you work to discover what it is, it's a listener's at home.

When you work to discover what is, and you see it, it's gonna make you a thousand times angrier than you would have been just Happening upon it with the fire of a thousand sons. You would have been like that's not really good This isn't very good at all, but now you're gonna be like fuck this person forever man Oh Get out of my room Fuck Oh Fuck

Damn I forgot what if this is a high-divit day when I was just sitting alone I was trying to do the bit for a person that had watched it and I was just fucking out of that when I was at the stand on Thursday, but I would man What if the what if that person came back and just dropped an hour that was like seamless? Well, another clue? Oh for two. Three hard.

Oh for two. What if you're real hard? By the way, over to real hard. We're not talking about going to the cards. We're talking about. I think this one's more jarring. Yes. Jarringly bad.

And the first one, from fucking soup to nuts is a hunk of shit. I hope the people can find it on their own through our clues. Could be one of our dearest friends. You have no idea. Could be. Could be me. Could be me. Could be dead.

Could be dead. Could be me. Could be my HBO special son of a Gary. Absolutely possible. I don't know how much you hate dial. I'll say what? Yeah. Could be there. Could be there. Right there. Let's take a break. Yeah. Yeah. We got a reset. I want to hear more about you for yet. Go to breaks so we can gossip like girls during the break about this. Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you want to know a secret? Do you My dear friend slash former barista just texted me. Who the hell is it? Told her.

That's how easy it is, everybody. Well, the bonfire podcast released a new episode Tuesday through Friday on all major platforms. And then Big J is going to be a Nashville this Thursday through Saturday at Zainis. He's going to be then in Milwaukee and in Addison. So if you want to find out who it is, bigjcomedy.com. Buy a ticket if you want to those. Those are the three places to be if you want to find them. And then lineup.

And then let me tell you something. Dan Soder is going to be spilling the tee out in Rochester. Oh, girl, give me my fan. Comedy at the car also the third to the fifth. He's going to every one of those nights someone new is going to find out at least. Yeah. Carl's to the third to the fifth. He's gonna every one of those nights someone new is gonna find out at least. Yeah Acme comedy club in Minneapolis February 17th of the 19th and after that a good nights in Raleigh, North Carolina That is February 24th of the 26th for tickets and all tour dates go to dancota.com and check out our Podcast. Yeah, dude or tell other people and the bonfire merch.com if you want a hoodie or a t-shirt or you know Stop being a dick. We're gonna get I think

Black Lou at a good point bumper stickers and stuff like that and we got some mobs or fun Fogs or fun We got guests. Oh you for you. Jay. Jacob finish with your please I I bet you for it because I know a girl whose name I've only heard through you showed a little tit inside ass this week bips. I found that out on The nip slip com Cuts right to the shit. What's it? I don't even know The girl's name is Sydney, sweetie. I don't know. I always think it's the middle sister from when you say that the middle sister from full house, but that's Jody sweeten. Uh-huh.

All right, Peabop's ex. Sydney Swini is known from what? Lou, do you know? She's she's she was on white lotus. Yeah, she was good on that. She's great in the fuck was white. It made tail. She's in everything now. She's she was on white Lotus. Yeah, she was good on that. She's great in the fuck was white I made tail. She's in everything now. She's really good. She's hot Yeah, she's young

mid-twenties I guess okay, and now on euphoria she just getting plugged up you watched a season premiere of a show you don't watch just to see her It's a great point. I did, I did, yeah. Jacob! Well, how rewarding was that? Remember the first time I saw Pam Anderson's tits in a movie? I didn't know she was gonna do that. It was a movie, VIP.

Snap dragon. I didn't expect it, because I didn't really think anyone they shook. I thought nudity was dead on TV. No man They're bringing it back. Oh, I was I was wrong hang on Jacob. I just hang on Jacob I just blew Dan away with my knowledge of straight to video pay manners and films before I'm gonna VIP's not what you're thinking no I think in barbed wire was he was thinking barbed wire after Baywatch, but I love to be a dragon It was just like remember like you know what's her name made in Brace of the Vampire?

A Lissamalano? Like that kind of shit. It was just straight to, she did, she did snap dragon and I fucking can't remember the name of the other one, but there was two where she was just getting soft core fucked. And then Tommy Lee just fucked her for real and those movies went into obscurity. Do you watch the Hulu series yet? It's out? Yeah, Pam and Tommy.

Oh, it came out. It's out. Oh shit No, I'm gonna start watching it two night though. Yeah, hell yeah after the sixers beat the horn. It's Suck on that Charlotte. Wow So much like Pam Anderson the actress that's playing her Amazing how they did that who is it? I don't know the guy is the guy is the winter soldier Oh Bastion Stan. I wonder how many times how many takes there to do that. I love you so much, baby Baby

Oh, baby. I love you Baby, baby. I fucking love you. Baby I do I do. I do hope they worked in my favorite line from that point. Which is that it before? Yeah, baby, it's all good. And he's playing because they're playing. It's all good by MC Hammer on the boat.

Oh, I love that. Oh, is this the Sydney Swini girl? Let me see. Now, remember when he said you're going to want to watch that episode immediately, Dan, sweet Lord, that scene. No, he's right here. Is this happening? Is this what it is? Does she get fucked from behind? I only watched the one episode. Oh, she's been a fuck. Yeah, looks like she gets fucked a lot on this. Yes, swing in this episode. But at the same time, this is going on,

Zendaya is Odin in another room of this party. So they don't so Zendaya doesn't crazy the amount Zendaya doesn't get fucked ever. I really don't know. Why? It feels wrong. I know she's Peter Peter Parker. Yeah, she's Peter Parker's girlfriend. Mary Jane. No, it feels wrong. She's so fucking young. How old is she? 27?

Oh, okay. Now I'm back in. Is she the daughter of somebody? I think. Uh, popus and die. Is she not like, does she have famous parents? Why are you looking at you? You looked at Christine, Christine looked at me,

it was like, you're doing this stuff. No, I looked to my computer to start typing. That is funny, your eye line is right where her computer is. So she's Googling, it just looks like she's grilling you. Is he for you, beatable Jacob? Could you have smacked to it? Yeah. I know you already used up your juxtapuse week your mom's house.

I know I read the rules. You turned in your tokens. I tell you, I tell you let me space them out. Are you going to use them all up in the first week? All right, so I guess she doesn't have the famous parents. No, she's just a dad named Kazambi. That's cool. She was definitely going to have a name like Zendaya.

It's crazy when you're her and you just have to have certain past a certain age people have to be like you're gorgeous so what do you want to do and she's like wait can we see the mom Claire Claire's dumb I want to see her it's fucking really hilarious though because the mom is I had a feeling because she's half white so the mom's white and the dad's name is you know Cab, Kababah, Habahabah. It's just, you can tell he probably named her. Yeah. Yeah.

Cause Ab, Kazembi. No, but it's something, it's Kazembi Ajamu. That's a serious African name. Yeah, she wasn't gonna get like a Nancy or Kelly. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. How do you love it for that? If you're married to someone who's African

and they're like, we're gonna send Daya and Denise. Yeah, how do you argue for the Denise when you're like, all right, well, I understand that that's the name of your grandmother and it means a lot and it's Swahili for sunrise, but also think about Ashley. Yeah, it's a good name. It's a good name. It's a good, and it really flows with our last name,

which is not very African. So our last name is Turner, and I just feel like Teresa is better. You don't wanna be humble above a little Jumbo Johnson. You know what I mean? You gotta have a Matumba last name. You gotta have a wacky first name. But if you're the kid,

you're gonna wanna fucking cool your name. Daniel, there were a lot of, there were a lot of Daniels when I was growing up. Daniels is very generic name. You could have had a way worse name. Buck. Because your buck would have been bad, but it would have been more rugged.

You're a handsome guy in tall, so you could have been like a dash or something like that. You would have been a fucking jerk off. Oh my god, you have a Bryce. You'd have really cared about your Letterman's jacket. Fireer or Bryce? Yeah, yeah, exactly. A Chase.

Yeah. I would have been one of the ironic like fat kids with one of those great names. Like CJ? Yeah, not even, now I'm just like a Tristan. Oh yeah. It's fat Tristan. Hey, Leopold.

I go my Leo. No, you're Leopold. You sure do. Yeah. I think I use mom. Why does mom name him Hamlet? I don't know. I don't know, but he does not like what I'm saying. His name is Drifus Okers. Why? His mom's favorite actor was Richard Drifus. Tuscan. Tuscan Okers says I have no idea what it is. It's a place not a person.

Sunset. Sun, dude, hippie names are funny because then you realize that Joaquin Phoenix's name, what was his first name in parenthood? It was like leaf, Phoenix. He was leaf. Oh, yes. And his brother was river.

Yeah. Oh, okay. He changed the Joaquin. I think Joaquin's his middle name. To be more of an asshole. He changed the walk in. I think walkins is middle name to be more of an asshole. He's like, how can we up? Yes. Any of your real names you pick makes us like an asshole, even if you were called Phoenix Phoenix. Phoenix is pretty cool though. Oh, totally. I'm Phoenix Phoenix. That's pretty bad ass. Jacob, are you going to keep watching this show? I think I have to now, but I do think it's,

am I naive because I don't know if this is happening in any high school. No. Jacob. Maybe it's different now. I don't know, I've been out of high school for 20 years. I just, I'm always amazed at how they portray teenagers and TV.

This is, like, teenagers now might be having fucking crazy criminal sex, you know, and then, Dan, if I may for one second guys, if I could, big John and Connecticut, we'd like to know who we're talking about, since he doesn't use computers, where's the good news?

Computers are not, Dan is gonna be, are you doing anything Connecticut soon? I'm doing New York, Caroline. I got Providence Road Island coming up. Providence, first quarter of the year. You get ahead of now and a half, one direction or the other baby and find out. BigJComedy.com, danceurter.com.

Go get all the live dates. But big John, if one of us sees you, we are going to Gab Lake School girls about it. Oh my God, I'll shriek. Bring me a white cloth and I will just sit there and bitch out with you for a while. Girlfriend, you bring me a fucking ice coffee with some cream and I know hasn't been futs with We'll spill the tea. I filled the bad reputation Jackson a little guy brought me a

fucking box of y-clothes Jesus black cherries. I just cracked him. Here's as I Florida Just cracked him in the back courtyard and shared it with fans set there to smoke cigarettes and we that's what I miss about drinking camaraderie Yeah, drinking does have a lot of camaraderie. You talking sober hermit Christine She's doing well. She's doing well. I have to look over at her check her back. You're doing fine Yeah, I wasn't saying she wasn't doing well. No, this is usually when you knock her off So I have to tell you right now. You're doing okay. The last time you did this she ended up on heroin

And we had to go get her out of a river you're doing okay. The last time you did this she ended up on heroin and we had to go get her out of a river. You're doing fine. You said you missed the camaraderie. I was like I was calling her her, where does it just point to the joke. Dude, it is, I know it's like. That's how on the brink, Christine is. We always really have to see.

Oh, period week, what do you want me to do? Oh, got it, true. What a weird thing to have. What a weird drop. When the hell we get that? I like queers. That makes sense. Yeah. I have hairy calves.

Damn, dude. True to that. Really, if Lou, if one of us died and Lou had to give all of the drops he had to like a artificial intelligence because they said like they found the algorithm for your personality and they can make you, they just need words. He would have every random word. Oh, pretty much. Lose like I can assemble him. He'll be better than he was before. Have you ever seen the things they do on Howard Stern? Could you imagine doing that, Lou? No, that seems way too high.

Were they cut the words to say things? It's not just the, obviously they do the thing where they can make Oprah say whatever. Which is always funny. But how they find some of the words they make, like they make the words sometimes. So they were doing a thing on sternio day See how they were saying like this word in this word combine makes whatever and it's like, you know, and you hear

Which one calls a pussy? Do the thing that I put put but it's like put and like The thing that I love is watching tray Parker and Matt Stone do that deep fake shit We did that whole series. I sent it to you. Yeah. I forget what the guy's name is, but Frank Sassy, what's its name? But it's Donald Trump. They have them. They have someone deep fake to Donald Trump and he talks like this. And they got the mark Zuckerberg.

Where he's like, I'm giving away dialysis machines. Give it away. God damn it, dude. They're the funniest. Go look up their deep fake. I don't forget what it's called. South. God damn it dude. They're the funniest go look up their deep fake I don't forget what it's called South Park the deep fake they were supposed to do a TV show about it But then COVID hit oh really yeah, they're gonna do a deep fake TV show in Comedy Central That'll probably still happen. I hope so Jacob you still getting checks from them. Yeah, Jacob. I was the only one out on you They're here. We're at Tommy Center Radio live and well.

Shout out Tommy Center Radio. Shout out Tommy Center Radio. Shout out, Tommy Center Radio. Shout out, Fox all. Oh yeah. Shout out, chill. Nine five. Shout out, Fox all.

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