The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Exuberant People (feat. Nikki Dinki)

Episode Date: February 3, 2022

Chef Nikki Dinki joins The Bonfire and shares about her experience accidentally getting caught up in the lifestyle and brings in delicious treats for the whole crew.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@NikkiDinki www.NikkiDinki.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Ah, it's just I guess Dan and I'll sing in the background. Oh, it's just I guess. Oh, introducing our guest, well she's back! We brought her back!

Well she came back, that's more what it is. Her book, More Veggies Please, is out now. Welcome, you can also follow her on Instagram at Nikki, Nikki Dinky, to see the series How Not to Cook. Welcome back to the show, Nikki Dinky. Nice to see you again. Thanks for coming back and bringing stuff. Thanks for having me. I brought you treats Yes, are you excited? Very excited. I can't come without bearing gifts also because

I used the gift of a wonderful piece of information right before the show came back I mean said a sentence that honestly only you and our producer Jacob would say stuff like that We like do you know that we're on a radio show right now? And this is this stuff that we want to talk about. It's fantastic. I mean, of course, we want to talk about the book more. Yeah, and the food and everything. Yeah, very funny.

It's very funny, as we always make the joke of Jatesit, or it's so ridiculous. And I think it's so funny when people who swing call it the lifestyle. I actually never heard that before. That's such a crazy word. Do you live in the lifestyle? Do you live in the lifestyle? I've been in

a lifestyle for a while. Yeah. So we were so a lot of people saying it's so no, no, no, no, in the world, just out there in the world, we've heard it. And it's like, yeah, it's just like it's such a smoking jacket sentence. I honestly kind of think it's bad. I say it's a life. Let's go welcome to the lifestyle. This is me and Catherine, we're in the lifestyle. We're in the lifestyle, tradesys. Correct tradesys.

But we're saying you said you got approached by that. Well listen, that's what everyone else is telling me. I felt like I just made a connection with a lovely young lady. Okay. And then they're just kind of snowballed into a lot of like, I really like you lesbian talk. And then like- Give us the break down here. I'll like you lesbian talk and give us give us the

breakdown here. I'll tell you I'll be telling you of these girls of these people were lifestyle. You know okay listen party. Okay casual friend of a friend. Great. You know house party nothing. House party. Okay. Hand past or derves. I was like what about hands woo. Yeah. No. I said hand past or derves maybe a nice white wine. There actually was it was very nice. Somebody's walking around over Ders. Okay, this is a party. Yeah, it was a real, it was a party. So you learned the lifestyle.

Yeah, it was there. It's the beginning of some lifestyle. Cheesy crackers and the next thing you know, it's a whole swap of room. Next time you weren't. But listen, I never met the wife of this friend of a friend who I haven't even seen that person. And you know, 10, I'm 10 fighters.

So you meet the wife. I mean the wife where we connect okay At the party everything's normal everything's normal and honestly like you know the party was getting a little quiet Just life, you know like too loud blonde females. Yeah, um oh Yeah I like very a few fan hailing albums written about that Like very exuberant people that like are just who they are a little quirky a little out. I'm fine with that I'd rather that in the quiet person, you know a lot of times those people They make bold choices. They make bold choices like joining the life says so how did it be unfold?

I just did nothing really happened, but there was some groundwork. I believe was being laid later. Everyone was telling me that this is something that they do. And then, like, they were saying that your friends do this. The friend of a friend, and his wife. There was some talk. There was a guy, by the way, the other friends of friends were like, the friends of friends were like, these giving you the old razzle dazzle.

It's meet the lady, get comfortable. And then looking back, I will say that like, there was times where I was led into conversations where like how many partners have you had and like how's your marital sex life and looking back I guess everyone the woman that was coming up. That one comes up. You know the funny thing is yeah she taught yeah it all it's it was a little shady when I told her that my sex life was actually quite good and then she's like. And then she's like oh. Oh really? She's like, oh, okay. She had a clip. This is all looking back.

She had a clipboard. Hang on a second. Jacob, you want to know if she's been with a woman for real? Jacob, I don't know if that's a problem. Okay. Is Jacob here? Oh, he's in my hand. He's in flame. Oh, I didn't get to see this screen. He's in Florida. He's up there and he's. He's asking these tall, your request. He's so inappropriate. Have you been with the girl? What show is he watching? He's like, what show are you watching? Lightly Jacob. Lightly.

You know what I'm actually going to grab a couple of fingers of brandy in the video? Turn on a humidifier? Are you comfortable with humidifiers? Why do we need a humidifier? Oh, it's just it makes the air. It's going to get steamy. Steamy. Oh, what?

We like to make a little wetter in here. So at what point were she like, hey, do you want to bang me in my husband? So it was more like a lot, I feel like it was a lot of groundwork. Sure. And I just looking back after some people inform me of some things, I guess I could see how,

you know, where do you lead down that way. Oh, and she said something about like a hotter husband is, and I don't know. Did you tell your husband? Yeah, my husband was one of people that started informing me that maybe this was the same. That's so funny. What was he informing you?

This way he goes, I think they're in a lifestyle. I was like, that's not something you'd be like into at all, is it? That's not what it was. What if he was? That's not your deal, right? It'd be like crazy. If like, I don't know, we all just got like a private villa and then just, you know, would it be nuts? I mean, we're parents. It's be fucking crazy if like I don't know we all just got like a private villa and then just you know

Would it be nuts? I mean we're parents I don't think he is into the girl so maybe that's why he didn't get brought up plus we have a crazy Okay, um, she's fat and no My husband's particular man you guys should have fucked him and then threw your fucking vegetable book at her Yeah, here you go princess. Hey, you know, there's a Zucchini pasta for a little bit. Hey, you know, this is a slug. Have I zucchini pasta for a little bit, Tops? Yeah. You want to actually live the lifestyle? Why don't you fucking eat like it?

You almost killed my husband back there, your bitch. The cholesterol's up. Why do you sweat spicy? Hey, Paula Dean, get off my husband. She was hot, okay? Did you have to, like, did you have to? I didn't even think that there was, like, some unattractive woman that was trying to hit on me.

Well, you said your husband didn't think she was a child. Yeah, but, you know, he's particular man. He's lying to you, maybe. Maybe, maybe. I don't know. Did he think you'd get angry if he said that she is pretty hot? Yeah, like if he jumped at the opportunity, she's like, you're under, you know. Yeah, that's what I was saying.

You were in your husband. No. You were in your husband or walk in the street. Beautiful girls, boot falls out of her shirt. He stares. Oh, I'm scared. No, it's not. Oh, then you're fine. You guys are like stuff. Oh, then you're fine. You guys are lifestyle.

Yeah, we're totally vital. Oh, you guys are lifestyle. We're like considering, you know, like we got the application. Yeah, dude, I heard some of the forms. I'm still just like we're just not sure. Yeah. We dipped a toe in the pool but it's a little bit old. Okay, what does she do?

Because I don't want you to bring too much to the table here. You're showing up there with delicious snacks. I know, just business and stuff. Nothing, you know. Is he even doing for you? No, but I like her. I don't know. Did you get IRA?

Maybe you roll that over for a one K? You know nothing about IRAs. No, not at all. At all. I know a guy named Ira and he was addicted to pills. He knows more about the lifestyle. He knows about IRAs. I know it's very little about the lifestyle.

We all know more about the lifestyle now. Yeah, we do. Now we're learning about the lifestyle. It's so funny to hear riding your dad and then your husband being like, I think they're trying to fuck. You had other people though, like other people, multiple people at the party

and be like, oh no, they have three Sims, like they're trying to get you in bed. They're not three Sims, right? They want to do a full couple lifestyle thing you said. That's what I believe. Yeah. I was at a, I was trying to pull, try to pull. I don't need to like get in Yeah. I was at a, I was trying to pull,

I don't need to like get in, to try to pull a wife away from a husband, a husband to be with another couple is very risky. That's dicey. Yeah, no, no, you can't do that. Yeah. That's too much. Come on.

I was at a NFL game and it was like my friend worked for the team and so we were like up in this nice box and they were introducing me to people and there was this couple and they're like, just very casual like they're swingers and so you just watch. I just I ate an edible and I sat in the back and watch them like go around and talk to people And he once you can once you know it you watch him walk up and the wife goes up and like touches the man's arm and she's like She did She was like oh my gosh. He's he works out so much

Yeah, I'm like oh my god. Yeah, he's pretty, that's like looking back some of those moments where I love it here. She turns and grabs her husband and brings him in and she's like, yes, so we go, we love going to Sonoma. We absolutely love it. We can't get to it sometimes.

There's a cabin. Have you ever been to Big Sur in the cabin? We've talked a few times about this in the show, but like me and Christine have done some pretty fun lifestyle stuff. Yeah, they're the reason the reason the the word annoys me so much is because what that kind of takes to me is not what we're involved in. We've like meck girls. Yeah, I got along with them.

There was nothing and like they've come home with us or there's been some building process of like maybe, maybe, and then it kind of happens or not one time lifestyle. It's go on and on. Sometimes it's of happens or not. One time things are like, how do you think it's going on and on? Sometimes it's somebody for a while. It's like a lifestyle means also to like, it's like, you know, like, you know, like a one and done. No, you gotta.

You're not gonna go through all this effort. No, there's plenty of, there's plenty you wanna done. But there's also like, what I'm saying more is what lifestyle connotates to me is you're gonna walk it exactly and like, like the guy's like a robe and like he's already laying in a certain way and like everything exactly it's like so over planned like oh you know

the place that horn that's Miles Davis right there. If you want we have some party favors over here by the bar. Yeah like a couple lines of coke and one that's already been done. It just seems to like that seems CD and hilariously like off-put putting to me to mine's more like What would we do Christine me because you like was put a constant radio had constant on YouTube and like I'll look over here while you guys start kissing Dude it's so funny that when he's explain it before when you said When you said all these mental images that are just When you said you filled up ice trays when Christine and her stuff to sing I start doing lighthouse work

It makes me laugh so hard thinking about you just balancing them with water and putting them into the thing and then being like nice. Right. Right. The last time we did something, I started dice and vacuuming. The roller ball. What? While they started, I was like, yeah, I spilled weed in the bedroom.

Weeeeeeeed! And then there just, did you notice that? Did you notice he was vacuuming? Well, now, while you were making your conquest, their ears were inside of each other. Wait, when the housework is like to get in the mood, or as like, a word. Jay loves the tide it up, tide it up

before he gets dirty. It's my king. My king is housework, light housework. No, he's got an OCD King in this situation in our experience The way for it to start Sure without having a moment that I will just laugh at like a real genuine like Going in for like a three-way kid. You can just sit beautiful. It's just so phony and ridiculous

You do this with your nose a lot. Yeah it's gotta go from almost like a giggly laugh of like conversation to like the girls kissing. And then you can go from there. Or you can come out in the diaper. Yeah. Baby ready. Baby ready. Baby want two mommies.

Freak out. Freak out some girl. What in hell is this? Just mommies. Baby Mrs. Daddy. You freak out some girl. What the hell is this? This is, oh my God. Be Mrs. Daddy. She's a mom. It's a weird laser show with radio ahead. It's just exit music for a film.

Yeah. And you're like, please, just breathe. No, so I don't, the choices in that situation are to sit there and stare, which is odd, or rub yourself over your pants, go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So you get, yeah.

I'd like to. Yeah, those are choices. Yeah, ta-da. Those are all choices. Yeah, actually, those are not the ones that I made. By the way, no choices wrong in a lifestyle. Not a lifestyle. No, judgment.

No, the choice is to baby walk to mom and baby want to mom. It was a good line. Okay, I'm going to give it to you. It's just gross. It's just gross to make sure I'm awful. It's so gross. I'm just saying it to fuck with them. It's also sex is so ridiculous.

It's like now you're trying to get three people to do this ridiculous act together. Yeah, that at one point I want to use want to be like, what are we doing? I mean, it's actually so funny. So we're doing such an act. If you like alcohol and large amounts, like just like. It was. No, I've been sober.

Yeah. That's for you. But the, but I'm saying so the girls gonna start to win when that happens instead of staring at them. I do, I'll lay the work down that needs to be done anyway. I will go in the bedroom, remove the throw pillows. You tidy up. Pop on whatever radio head concert is happening

in the living room. Do a turn down service. I do a turn down service. You turn down to turn on. And then maybe I'll like roll a joint. That would be a smart move sometimes. Just to kill a couple of seconds. But I've got five minutes.

But I've come out and like, yeah, literally, and what you do is as you pass through the living room where they're at, I go, I guess I go, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Swing. I mean, no saturation, I go, okay. Something like that, something like that.

And then I just kind of dilly dally and then like, eventually like someone will be like, I just go to the bedroom and go, okay, and that's where you can kind of jump a little more. Yeah, but the point is that they don't blow it up to the point where they call it the lifestyle. So I think those people, the reason we make fun of them is because they take it so seriously.

I think it's like the what they're doing 24 or 7. That's their hobby. Every time they go out, they're like, what about him? Has she left you alone since? Did you shoot it down? Or were you just like, ah, not right now? No, I just it just was like it was initial. You mean like it was a networking kind of event. Um, you don't want to see Mr. Dinky's dinky. You want to see Mr. Dinky? My husband does definitely not go by Mr. Dinky. Oh, dude, Mr. Dinky. And this is what it does. Mr. Dinky sounds like

a guy that puts me in detention for being funny in the back of the class. We're like fucking Dinky. Oh, fucking Dinky's on one day, dude. Fucking guys, I just skipped class before I went there. Yeah, whenever I walked in smelling like cigarettes, dude was dick about it, Dinky hates me. Dinky fucking hates me.

I feel like when it's a female, Dinky is like a little cuter. It is. Like, loser. Yeah, it's less teachery when it's a lady name. On a gentleman, it's definitely a geography teacher. So when you shied away from it, when you just like-

It wasn't really shied, it just was like the evening, you know, it was over, I got it. How blatant did it get you? I was gonna swear again, I had to stop myself. I was like, no, let it fucking hurt. I was like, I have fucking kids at home. Yeah. That was crazy.

I know, boring. Oh, you. I don't know if it's worse to swear to talk about my children. Yeah. No, but were you like, it's okay. The current host of One-Dew Williams punched our friend recently, so we've slept our friend. Oh, yeah.

Right before Port. Oh, yeah, but he's hosting One-D again. Oh, yeah, he's slapped her friend at the company. Oh, sorry. Slap them right in the mouth. So anyway, I think it was some groundwork was laid. There was some reach out later. And this is all at the party.

Yeah, this was like, you know, just, you know, just pull me to the side. I just, you're, I just so funny, your husband, just having appetizers on a napkin talking to someone and he goes, actually, no, you know, we have looked into the taxes. Hey, honey, what's up? Yeah.

And then he leans in and he goes, he goes, a confeits actually pretty inhumane. What's that? Hold on, Nikki, what's up? And he leans in and he's, he goes, a con feet's actually pretty inhumane. What's that? Hold on, Nikki, what's up? And he leans in and he's like, they're trying to fuck you. And that all I do is I was like, no one told me. George here is a, he's an orthodontist

and he was to, what's up? No one told me until we left, okay? Okay, all right, I'm not into the part of it. I'm not like, I'm not into the sexual part of it, but I do enjoy the flattery Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, okay something if that's where their minds if they're lifestyle people. Yeah, they Listen, there's plenty of things. I mean me and Christine. I think almost Thought we're gonna hook up with someone who's one of our long-time producers at at Legion Skanks now for years. We didn't hook up with her and like there's nothing strange about it

There's nothing that would move forward thinking There's no awkwardness there, but if it's a lifestyle couple of that everyone's talking about that's their thing When you think you're good when you think you've said what you're gonna say and Boundaries have been drawn. It'll never feel that way every time you hanging up They'll do some kind of thing. Like, even if it's just like, I mean, when you invite you guys back to us for a couple of drinks, but you probably think we're gonna try to have sex with you.

And every time they get there, it goes, is it crazy if I get down to my underwear? It's my house. I don't wanna make you think I'm trying to have sex with you guys. Sorry guys, sorry that Janet wanted to come out in her lingerie. Oh my God, we're gonna go to bed after you guys leave. It's not all sex.

I've got to understand, she grew up in France. It's very different, it's very expressive. It's like my life is flashing before my eyes. This is so informative. Yeah, well, no you don't. I'm sorry, even if you lay the ground, if people who are like, that's their thing. Like first and foremost, that's their thing.

That's what they're pursuing. It's not me and Christine's first and foremost thing. Yes, so you guys have watched the show you, right? No. You guys don't care about spoilers, right? No, you're not a riff. That's the one that cast Chris Delia as a pedophile, I say.

And then that's right before he got all in trouble. Yeah. You went full day with A. Lewis on that. He lived it. He lived it. He might have footed it. Well listen, there's a lot of lifestyle people I'm like season two or whatever the fuck it is.

And it's all that though. It's like all what you guys described. And all I'm gonna say is at the end of all of that, they all get killed. Well, that's also that risk. I don't want any swank in my sex. What do you mean? Just like swankiness. I don't want like fucking purposefully colored light. It's just the whole thing. But like you at least wear like some like nice underwear.

Like something extra is going down. I always wear nice underwear. I don't know if you know that myself a while ago. Why do I sit about four years ago? Why do I have my good underwear and my bandarwear? Why isn't it just all good underwear? I feel like that's like your level of success. You know what I mean? You must have like gotten to a certain point in your life

where you're like I deserve all good under. That's why I'm still connected. That's why I'm still connected.'s why I'm still I'm still connected I'm connected with the working man I'm still Haynes three pack box briefs no come on box briefs let's really talk about this for one second I'm a Tommy John fanatic no but like they just like it's like wearing shorts under your pants all they're gonna do is bunch up and get all like why in the world wouldn't you wear a nice tight brief I, I'll tell you why one because I'm gonna ask to the lifestyle me and Dan aren't having sex with each other. That's why I wear a brief a brief For your comfort not for Dan for your comfort insanity what you're saying. I wear banana hammocks

Do you know how ridiculous men looking briefs? We're not all at donnases like your husband. Yeah, when they're hot when you're hot and in shape, then you have like abs, briefs are very sexy. When you don't, you look like you're about to get busted by the cops. You know, I'm like a man. Wait, I haven't seen quite look like that, but he doesn't look pretty good, I admit.

He doesn't quite look like that. No, not that's insane. Like who looks like Christine, Jack Nicky and her husband off of our two fucklists. Yeah. We just got priced out. Oh God, I'm not going to even have a hersy mean a tank top. But it is when you leave and it's interesting.

I mean, yeah, these guys, all pictures of naked men now on your screen. Well, this is kind of what we do. Yeah. Sort of more thing, thing. Can we get to the food anytime soon? Yeah, absolutely. You know what, right at the time.

But thanks for coming by. Thanks for coming by. We look forward to trying this the broccoli burger. Whatever it is. Thanks for bringing by some. Some care. Ravioli. Let's get on. Appreciate this zucchini parfait you brought by. I'm sure I'll throw that down to some point. And, uh, hey, well, did you look at that cauliflower cookies? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hey, would you look at that cauliflower cookies. And, uh, all right, back to the, that's why, no, what did you bring by? What did you bring?

Because last time you came by, you brought those muffins, which fucking rules. Yeah, I'm glad you liked them. I decided to bring you three items. Okay. And I thought we could have a little fun and you could guess what veggies inside of them. Well, guess which veggies that are inside.

Do you mind, you know, it's the eating lifestyle. It's the vegetarian lifestyle. Are you guys in the lifestyle? Do you guys want to guess? Do you want us? I'm pescatarian so I can interfere with my lifestyle Do you want us to give you more of the Wendy Williams vibe as jaded or more of a J.O.C. vibe as I gave you? What's the weight? Jariokon. Oh, oh respect the name. Oh, I like both I feel like it's a one-on-one kind of thing. I think you were better at Jari and you're better at Wendy Yeah, absolutely. He can embody and I've met Jari. We've shook hands. So his spirit I can I can like it's a one-on-one kind of thing. I think you were better at Jerry and you're better at Wendy. Like, I'm a big fan.

Yeah, absolutely. He can embody, and I've met Jerry. We've shook hands, so his spirit, I can grab it. But to me, this is like, Jero Connell and Wendy Williams, unlike a talk show, like on the family theater. Wendy Williams coming back. I don't know. What's happening?

I don't know. The Queen. I mean, who's that about one thing for really quick? Yeah, we can talk about whatever you want. So I have to give this shout out to your campers because I've been on the Wendy Williams show. But for the campers, but I know. What did I say?

You said your campers, and there's really no one on the show. A couple more governors like they're trying to use in business. Wow. So I've been on the Wendy Williams show for my book, you know. I've been on the Nick Cannon show. Sure. Dr. Oz Show.

Oh boy. Others I might be forgetting. And appearing on the bonfire sold the most books since my book came out. What? Hell yeah, campers. That is so awesome. And honestly, the amount of direct messages and personalized copies where they want to crack a crackle in their book.

That's awesome. It was an odd amount. I was like, who is listening to this show? A lot of people listen. A lot of people listen. And honestly, we've done a very good job of it. So now, as you know, all is going to have a hashtag in the lifestyle, text.

So now you're going to have to deal with a lot of lifestyle. But your book hashtag in the lifestyle, by the way, if you're in your husband or looking. Could you cater our lifestyle party? But I will say I did the today's show, and then it beat you guys. Well, it's the fucking today's show, Nikki? That was unbelievable. It's got, yeah, I mean, it's unbelievable. I bet we could go on there.

They launched a career. Yeah, I mean, we sold the same amount of books that we had sold lifetime and the one day that I'm such a nation. Really? You know why? Because the women like my mom, she would, she loves the today show. And she watches it. She's like, I need that. I need that. Do you know why? I know something. I swear to you, Dan had a chance for the co-host of the show to be Hota and he held that on me. Yeah, I said, yeah, Hota and I, we had insane sexual chemistry. I mean, insane, honestly.

She was, you guys had both red and white teeth. Oh my God, we drink red wine. She would crawl over the table like, tawny, container. We all the time. It's like, it's naked me. And she's like, it's naked me. I'm like, I can't do my voices. I would do what I'd say to you like this.

Hold up, please. Hold up. Get a grip on yourself. I gave it to you so we could bond. Now, you've torn apart. That is awesome. Camper's are fucking awesome. And I saw when they would post the book

when they were like, just got this phone on. They would post the book and they just like, I don't know, I feel like everyone went the extra mile to be kind and say like, nice things. Yeah, they're family, they're great. It's good like everyone went the extra mile to be kind and say like nice things. Yeah. Now they're family, they're great. It's good folks. It's good folks.

I'm a family. I have those family guys that listen to this. I was like, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. I kind of mentioned that maybe it wasn't the best audience for my book. I was wrong. Yeah, no, there's a lot of, I think what we have,

we have a lot of people that were, that had tough teenage and twenties, and then they're kind of rebounding in the 30s and 40s. And sometimes just because they wanted to God, they had a cook. Yeah. And their dad would put cigarettes out on them if they tried. We had had tough teenage and twenties and then they're kind of rebounding in the thirties and four times Just because they wanted to god damn cook yeah, and their dad would put cigarettes out on them if they tried Yeah, I got really dark. Yeah, that's really dark But this book is a light in that darkness now. I see some brownies and some bread. Yes, you got some I'm almost gave it away You've got some bread

It's a plan of excuse me. it's a plan of banana bread. Instead of banana, oh I'm getting, um, exactly, that is the key. Okay, are we going bread first? Yeah, bread first. Okay. Bread first off, let me give it a little JLC. Oh yeah!

Do you like it, Terry? Love it! Ah! Ah, ah, ah! It's sticky on the outside. There's a little bit of a glaze. The glaze is not a secret veggie ingredient. Ooh, it is on the sweetest.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Wendy, I hope you're not on a diet. Oh! Why is it baking in this?

You have room on Ramadan. You know I've had some Ramadan. What vegetables? Now listen, my book is more about hidden vegetables So it's not supposed to be super apparent. So I'm not gonna like take one notch off your chef hat You don't get it take a shot already got it. I am zucchini Close it is from the squash family. Ah, I would say summer squash The squash family. Ah, I would say summer squash

That zucchini is a summer squash Oh, we're getting closer No, I know I know I know I know vegetables. I didn't like when I was a kid for fucking Where you got you got a guess? I don't know any other squash. Any other winter squash? Winter squash. That is the winter squash. Blizzard squash. It is a eight corn squash. You can get that one to Big J. Alright eight corn squash. You got eight corn squash. He said summer squash. You at least got a type of squash

I'll say until this moment until right now, and I guess remains to be seen give myself a few hours I didn't know acorns were edible to human beings Let's let's let's clarify A coin squash. Yeah, it's shaped kind of like a horn. Now I Know that's not I'm sorry about I'm really sorry I'm gonna stand corner guys. I don't deserve the next bite No, you do deserve the next how much squash do you put in it? You put in a whole apron squash

So with all of my rest was I really did try to put in like a whole can of beans a whole Akron squash Acron squash Just gonna do anything about cooking. Fuck it squirrels, the storm, you fuck it. Nothing about cooking, less about squash. I don't even start them on the lifestyle. Damn, I bet Jacob, I bet Jacob was.

Can I give them the key, some credit? Oh, absolutely, Jacob. King of the squashes, and she went all out for you because probably the most difficult peel. Ooh, I see. Actually, I just cut it in half and roasted it, so I was able to then scoop out the fleshy inside for any to this delicious cake What do you think of that Jacob?

I love it. I think I wish it was there. Hands where I can see you buddy. Jacob, Nikki, I would love once Jacob is forced, Jacob doesn't want to come back to New York. He thinks it's a place to shake off. Yeah, uh, once, Jacob. Would you think about bringing him into the bedroom with you and your husband? I would not enter that type of place. Once did you think about include bringing him into the bedroom with you in your house I would ask if he promises to come home Will you please invite him into your marital bedroom, please? I would ask when Jacob is back

Can we rent a kitchen space and can you two cook something together that Jay and I will just preside over? Yeah, that sounds like a really weird thing. Actually we're just gonna sing love balance while it's happening. I mean we'll just love it. That sounds lovely. We're we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we Jacob Kirk. I know Jacob wants to make omelettes with jock papan but Dan why all this stalling? You don't want to eat more vegetables? No, I'll eat a ton of vegetables. That's a brownie. That's a brownie. Is the brownie a stepping the next one you think?

Yes, sure. The brownie. Let's next week. We could have gone on like to sweet the last one, but you know it's hard. I love brownie. Brownie. This group? It's uh there there is glue in there. Very good. Bitch, I don't even know what to do gluten. Why don't we just have it?

Make a poop farm. The question of the hour is, what secret veggie ingredient is inside of your brownie? Let me take a guess. That one's trying. Beans. If you can give me the correct type of beans, you will be the winner of this round. A corn bean.

No, sorry, jumped. That's incorrect. Dan, back to you. I'm going to give you five seconds to answer. If you can get this round, you will get double points Pinto mean, oh come on red kidney. No, I don't even know the baby beams. I think she tries to mask Vegetables that you normally would fucking hate and so you get the benefits of them in something delicious and chocolate and apparently full of gluten

So I'm gonna steal this one like I no, come on, it's so heavy. It's not that I'm eating it's a little heavy. So you know the beans? I'm talking to you. Guys, let's look about the color of the beans. Drop the brown. Black beans. Black beans, yes, black beans.

Black beans. I didn't know that was good for you. Listen, I'm giving that one to Dan, because of what she said, bean. By the way, you don't have a guestit. She said earlier, a whole can of beans in. I actually wasn't referencing the brownies. I work a lot with beans.

Bees! Well listen, there's no hints for the next one. It's so good. It's so good, that's a brownie. Yes, it's just a brownie. The idea is that yes, there's a whole can. So basically, this one's really fun because you take brownie mix. You don't have to make it from scratch.

And instead of adding the oil and the eggs that your brownie mix asks for, you just add in beans. Because the protein and the beans hold it together, it replaces the egg, the moisture replaces the oil. So it's literally a box of brownie mix and beans and some water. What's the health benefits of eating like this for regular brownies?

This is like much better. Well, you're limiting the oil. Oh, I like you really like let into like something like nutritional and like let's get into this. Cause I mentioned it about, cause I need to start eating different as someone that was cost-painted for this. It's one of those things.

It's one of those things that if you're gonna have a brownie anyway, why not do them this way? Would you want to put them into your marital bed? Would you have a bedade and maybe an oxaloo system stuff loose before we get into the last set? Did you have a lot of fiber? That's one of their main attributes. That's huge.

That's big. I think we're doing right now. The fiber is the main one. It's one of those things where I don't skimp on the sugar or the gluten. Yeah. But we're also now got some beans in there. We feel a little bit better about our sinful traits.

Yeah, you're not wrong. That's great. That's actually a perfect, it's like, it is a unmastered market for sure. Yeah. Delicious health benefit. Yeah, how can you two healthy? I just can't, I don't wanna give you guys a brownie

that you're like, and that was, Every time that's happened, every time that's happened. I would've thought that was a brownie from me. Oh, but the game and it's gluten free and it's this and you're like, well that's wonderful, but can I have a brownie now? Yeah, can I like it? Yeah, can I like it? Don't worry, Black Will, you're still gonna get diabetes.

You're just gonna have beans in you too. You might finish a bowel, which I've been incapable of doing. Can I tell you something? Would that remind me of? I don't know if I ever said this in the show, but it used to make me laugh so hard. And Isabella remembers us. My daughter's 19 now. But when she was little, like she just didn't like beans. but it used to make me laugh so hard. Isabella remembers us. My daughter's 19 now. But when she was little, like she just didn't like beans. That was the thing, but you could like get her so upset if you go, all right, Isabella, if you're not gonna listen, then we're gonna go home.

And instead of for dinner, you're gonna have, and we go, beans, and she go, nah, like she was screaming for the head. It was so mean, he's never gonna go. All right, Isabella, keep acting up in the car and we're She was screaming for the head. It was so mean he's never going to go. Alright, so I'll keep acting up in the car and we're not going to go to Fridays. You're just going to go home and have... Beans! No!

It was the most hilarious, you mean, like, six, five, or something? I'm really learning some parenting lessons right now. Beans! But it was just so fun to always... You just knew the thing was... Beans! That was the one thing. to always be you just knew the thing is That was the one thing I go we won't get it there and she's like I don't care You know being a little kid like I don't care fine. I go to them We're gonna go home and guys you heard the her thing would almost be like yeah, but her thing will be like it's like you guys want to eat

So we're going to this place like she's got a new that bullshit call He's gonna work it. Go eat and then we're gonna take you home. You're just gonna have B or we say she has to have beans there and then show the menu online that there are beans. Like, no, like they have beans. Beans are Fridays. Come on. Oh, they got some kind of beans.

That is, that is so funny threatening a try. I hate a bean, still hate beans. And the fact that I ate that brownie. You hate beans? I hate beans. You ate beans. So, so far, you have eaten beans today and acorn squash.

Hear that butthole? Better act right. Looks like someone won't be shoving a suppository up his butt and Rochester this weekend. Just I want you to picture it. I'm going to picture it. You, your sexy ass husband and dad. Walking around with him. I put my butt pellet in.

Do you have a suppository closet today? Are there any other traces of people that are part of the bonfire besides no offense, Jacob and Dan? Hey, no, not taken. Yeah, you want to bang Lou and his chick, go for it. Have fun. Hope you don't mind the smell of smoke on the sheets.

Hey, you might wake up with some marble vile stuck to your back. Yeah. Luke can only finish if his twin brother watches. Are these things all? So yes, the word or the option is people we were doing you the solid. Okay. We threw you Jacob and Dan. Okay. That's for the back. Give it a red hearing. So the last one we have, trail mix. Checks mix, I think trail mix technically needs to have like nuts and eminems. As a, as a,

as a, damn each sugary cereal, as a white guy from Colorado who has camped with his stepdad six times, molested, not once. Honestly, didn't even, I thought it would have been nice to get pounded out by a river.

Yeah, if it was gonna happen. It was gonna happen. I wanted it to be Nick and I wanted it to be in nature Yeah, I like how the crinkly and I feel like I'm in a movie theater where like I want to tell you guys all to be quite Let me tell you the heights. Oh, that we want to do is that your Karen Michel's So there's a movie theater where I have to yell at ethnic teenagers Something about them screaming at the screen really sets me off. Oh, dude. That's five three spider-man Shut up Yes, I brought snacks from home is vegetables in this

Corn is a vegetable bitch I guess he's kind of right to Shay Shhh Alright, two shay. Alright. Alright, it made my cheeks hurt. That was a lie. It was a lot of chewing. That was a lot of chewing.

That was a lot of chewing. It was just, we should, oh, this is like SMR, ASMR. You know what, you're cooking thing they do? Our listeners hate it. They hate where we eat it. Well, that's a new thing. People like chop it. It's definitely always the day of ASMR.

Yeah, ASMR, that's what I hate it. So this is a Czech's mix. It has multiple types of Czech cereal, goldfish, pretzels. There was supposed to be some chickpeas, but I couldn't find any at the store, deal with it. I love chickpeas. But the secret veggie ingredient is something that is in the wet mixture that gets put on the Chex Mix

to make it flavorful and then baked. Ah. Just in case you needed that to like understand the culinary process of where that veggie might be. You know what, I'm gonna call a lifeline. And say, Jacob, do you have any guesses what this could be? Hey, Jacob, I got Dan here. He's looking for some help with the secret veggie ingredient.

What do you got? Looks like check mix. Can I see the bag please? Yes. This is a Buffalo style check mix. There is some Frank's hot sauce in there some butter and this veggie Cut me stumped on this is a tough one. It's a salary dickhead

I It's celery you're fucking I'm not to say I Throwing out move on It's carrots shit face. I just get that carrots there I don't know I was gonna say Very good it's carrot juice. That's amazing. Jay got one Jay one. Jay Jay know, I think Jay's the winner. I've got one for a perfect palate. Wow. I mean. Jay's got it. Jay's, oh my god. Jay said nothing and then suddenly just came in with like a carrot joke.

Well, he had to feel it. Wow. See? He tasted it. Oh, that was amazing. Put on my orchestra. Put on my orchestra music. Yeah. Why I think of my flavors in my mouth? This is all this food I would never guess had vegetables in it

and I hate vegetables. No, I don't mind him. But this is also that buffalo checks mix with a blow in your ass hot yesterday save this fucking save you a little bit of money on the spa stories. Guess what I think we might get a Rambo 2 here. Yeah, we might see.

I see cut off the middle man and show the checks mix right up your butt. Burn burn hot. Hot hot hot hot hot. I'm not sure I asked talk in my checks and this is the bestmate's right up your butt. Burn, burn, hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. I'm not sure. I asked talk in my checkmate's the best way to like sell the book. No, no, no, no, they like it. Trust me.

Oh, no. Yeah, I don't think you tell stray hand how to talk to the today's audience. I'm gonna say right now. I was on with Adam. Yeah, I was. Is this how you came up, Roker? Better not brought this fucking sideways energy at Roker. You know this is audience. No. They've been through it through two fats. Is that you came at rooker better not brought this fucking sideways energy at rooker

They've been through it through two fats and a soul friend talks to rooker over here You can think well. I'm sorry tell me what the campers don't like and I think a butt talk is where they live They're venturing out to the food stuff Food is where we got to get them on board. Yeah, I'm already. I'm mind-minds-boy how much they enjoy these vegetables Yeah, every single thing we've tasted here it doesn't taste like those vegetables is where we got to get them on board. I'm already, I'm mind-blowing, how much they enjoy these vegetables. Yeah. Yeah, every single thing we've tasted here, it doesn't taste like those vegetables. No, it's just like why not work more vegetables into all the things that you're already enjoying? How fucking awesome of a weed brownie could you make?

I mean, probably pretty good. I got a half an ounce of food. I have a little sworey habit in my house. If you want to bring by some of those. What if I told you I got a bird? You were in my some weed brownies. What if I told you I got a brick of Girl Scouts and two boxes of Betty Crocker? Can you make my friends freak?

Would it be weed and black bean brownies? I mean, yeah, dude, I'd love to put vegetables in. Can we count on the bowl? Guys, while you're all spiraling out of this bowl, also know there's some carrots in there. So that's the easiest way. I know she's in a weird cano and crying, but you should know this there is a corn squash You know what he goes what the fuck you say goes it's a winner squash

Recently learned it's the most difficult to peel So enjoy your high But anyway, you learned it once Once you shake hands with God, once you come back down here and have a sensible balance, not yet. Yeah, this is, this is, it's very impressive because anytime I've ever tried anything healthy at fucking sucks.

Yeah, I just didn't wanna do that. You know, like, there's plenty of healthy stuff available. Why not just make good stuff? Like literally just your favorite checks mix. You shave your brownies, your favorite, a little quick bread, and put some good veggie. I also don't know when they have the thing. It's like the big, healthy cookie or something. You see that like a store and like you, you could

tell by picking it up like the texture already like it sucks. It's gonna be bad. It's not gonna be good, but this is all great. So make sure you check out the book before you leave. We have a question to ask about Jacob found out. And all the finalists join you in your marital. Yeah, bring the whole show in. We found out that you were on an episode of the sopranos, which is pretty awesome. In my bra and panties, I'm sure your viewers will appreciate.

Was that was unaware of that? I didn't know that at all. When where how? I was I was on. I don't even know what season that was. Oh my gosh, he used to know Johnny cakes Yeah, Johnny cakes season six season six. I played AJ's girlfriend in the episode where he tries to kind of murder his Grandfather. Yeah, where he tries to kill junior and I encourage him to do that and kind of like make it like hey

You know this is sexy if you go do something bad damn So you were the one being like yeah, dude get in give into the dark side did I did most of that talking We'll give him a massage my bra on panties by the way his face looks like every time he'll cut you go So I'm thinking if you just put carrots in the actual brownies She goes, you know what if I would if I just want to spoke up I could have saved James come off me I could have saved James Scott off me. I would have just been a little bit of a love. I'm just saying he's getting a little heavy. I know.

I know. I understand the heavy breathing is part of the character of Tony's piano. I'm just saying maybe if he put more squash in his pasta fondue. So what's your story? Okay, eight chords squash is borderline tasteless in a chocolate brownie and Cut you know what's fun about our spines you know it's hard in the brownie that stuffed man a cot actually had beans And you guys didn't even know it In the cup of gully header

50% cucumber forget about it forget about Hey, you want vegetables, but you want to forget about it. Get Nikki, Nikki's book. The more veggies please. The more veggie book called this thing of ours. More veggies please is the book that you can buy. Go seriously a ton of awesome recipes to make food. the book that you can buy go seriously a ton of awesome recipes to make food there's not a book called meets gay now it's meat on the side I read that right at niki and i k k i dinky d i n k i on instagram and twitter go follow her and check out her book I think I haven't tweeted in like five years oh yeah you still need it though you you know, you're locked in. Thank you so much for coming back on the show. You're always such an awesome guest and thank you.

Greg bringing Nikki thingy back to Twitter. Yeah. Sorry guys. I just got locked out of Facebook because I got hacked. I can't even get on Facebook now. You should have hooked up with that rich couple. I know, right? That's the they shut you down.. Yeah, they, they, they, they, they, they treated you like Sandra Bullock in the net. They wouldn't deleted your ass. Um, thank you for being so cool and bringing by delicious treats that are good for us. Make sure you buy the book. Um, also make sure you go get some merch at the bonfire merch.com and check out Big J at the Addison Improv right outside of Dallas tomorrow through Saturday.

Tomorrow, it seems. Tomorrow through Saturday. Tomorrow it seems. Tomorrow maybe? No, I think it's happening. I mean like, what? I wouldn't. Thursday through Saturday's gonna be at the Addison Improv outside of Dallas and then Caroline's New York City, February 18th through the 20th.

Go get tickets right now at Big J comedy. It's come out one of them nights. I don't think I am, I found out. It's not coming. It's a show. I'll come, I'll come, I'm there. Thank you. Nikki, Nikki will be there. I found out Sundays when I have to move back. It's not common. He's the... I'll come, I'll come, I'm there. Thank, Nikki Dickie will be there.

I found out Sunday is where I have to move back. Katie and her. Oh, okay. Okay, well, Lewis is gonna be there a couple nights. A bunch of friends are gonna come by and... Yeah. Make sure you go check it out. It's gonna be a fucking awesome show

and it's Caroline's right in Times Square. Dan Soda, gonna be at Rochester Comedy at the Carlston this weekend. That is tomorrow through Saturday. Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis, the 17th of the 19th and Good Knights and Rally North Carolina, 24th through 26th. Part 5 are available, check out the podcast, we love you guys, 5, 4, 3, 2, bye! You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire!

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