The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Fat Beach Day (feat. Raanan Hershberg)
Episode Date: June 26, 2024Some beaches have a "Fat Beach Day" where the overweight can feel free and easy. Jay and Bobby aren't really down with this special day. The hilarious Raanan Hershberg considers going on Ozempic. FOL...LOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf
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And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly
How baby how
Hangout with simple Jake and the boys
We got special guest in today your home of comedy everybody. We are the boys
And we got a run on Hirschberg in studio brand new special
Damn, right. That was a horrible intro
Fantastic is a intro was horrible. It was fantastic. Oh, what's wrong with it?
Can I do how I would have done it can I do the mine after you did it?
I got good
Can I do mine after you did it? I got good
I'm gonna turn to make sure I see it all
We have a very special guest here a very fun guy hanging out with this funny guy funny twice
No, I would just yes funny twice. I'm blowing now. I'm in the pressure You're gonna be singing at the Comedy Club at Kansas City June 28th to the 30th everybody in his new special brave streaming right now
On YouTube it's the hilarious. we're not Hirschberg everybody
Hi was coming in and out of you
You were going big bang and I was gonna be bang and then you're gonna bang and then you were gonna go read that
It was a little the little simple Jake and the boys stick and then you go b-b-bang and then you were gonna go read that. I was doing a little simple Jake and the Boys shtick
and then you went Ron's here.
No, I did not say that.
Ron Hirschberg's here.
You went, yeah, he's real fun and funny and fun, funny.
The fun part, yours was better,
but at first you just said fun, that was scary.
You said fun.
You corrected it very quickly.
I immediately whiffed,
I was gonna, it was funny I was going full on.
I said,
This guy's a lot of fun.
I said, got a special guest, Ron Hirschberg's in studio
and then you're gonna go back over there,
and then back over here,
and then Ronan was like, thanks guys.
No, no, I tried my way, just tried my way.
Simple Jake and the ba-ba, then you went,
we have a very special guest, Ronan Hirschberg's here.
I didn't say, no, you're dropping it, I went up.
Ronan's here.
No, I didn't say it like that.
I said it like this. Let me do it.
I'll do exactly what I do.
So I have perfect pitch.
Ron's here.
I do it.
I said it like this.
I went, yeah, but Ron is right here.
I've never heard my name so many times.
And we have a special, this is a show,
Ron Hirschberg.
I didn't know, I said it like this.
We have a very special studio, Hirschberg's here.
When Will Sevince brings you up at the set.
Yeah.
Or when Keith Robinson said my name at the Mark Twain Prize.
I'm into comedians.
Mar-ar-ar-ar Kevin Hart.
That's really a, that's a wasted plug.
I watched it seven times.
I'm like, where does he say my name?
Everyone's saying he said it.
That's like when someone tweets out
but they forget, it just tweets it to you, you know?
Oh yeah.
Keith plugging you is not one of the best comedians ever.
Is it happening again?
Is he having another one?
Hopefully.
We're not good to have you here.
This isn't your first time doing the show,
but first time with Bobby?
No, wait. No, I think I've done it once with time doing the show first time with Bobby. No wait
No, I think I've done it once with him. Have you done with Bobby already?
I think with me and Dan for sure definitely the one with you and Dan remember Johnny Depp was in the studio
You've been in here with me before I think I did it was once I remember unlike Jay. I remember when you came in
We had Johnny Depp and the other guitarist.
The soprano's guy, Steve Van Zandt.
Oh, they were doing Steve Van Zandt, but it was also the other guitarist with him that
he loved, right?
Jeff Beck.
Yeah, and I saw Johnny Depp.
Who died like a month after.
Oh, really?
Did Johnny Depp beat him up?
Some say it was left to do with that.
I think those two, well, yeah.
Johnny Depp shitting his bed and he got brain worms.
It was him, he was the secret shitter the whole time.
It's good to have you here, buddy.
Thanks for having me.
We have some fun stuff we wanted to talk about.
This all happens, I believe, in the group chat thread.
Yes.
While I'm gone.
Well, you're in the thread.
It moves at a rapid pace, though.
Well, it's on your phone. It's not like it's not coming up. Well, you're in the thread. It moves at a rapid pace though. Well, it's on your phone.
It's not like it's not coming up.
Well, you guys know that I have to do afternoon kayaking
every day on a Burt tour, or have parasailing,
or adventure trips.
I mean, not all of us.
Or I have to learn how to tame snakes or something.
There's always something, depending on the place we're at.
Fan boat, I have to give fan boat tours,
I think, this weekend in the deep south.
We have a bonfire
Text read and we all throw stuff in there. Mm-hmm that we think that would be good for the show, right?
That's what I'm saying by the time I come back from
wingsuiting into skis
Once I'm back from that once I'm back from base jumping it's Torgasm XL Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought that was me. You threw it, dude. I'm like Jeff Dunham. Can I just say something?
I felt it over here.
There is a fat beach in Brooklyn?
No, no, stop.
There's a fat person beach day.
They gave them a day.
Fat beach day?
Where you can go down and-
What are they labeled as?
Fat people day?
No.
No, of course not.
That would be great.
It's only fat people on the beach.
I think it's like body positivity thing. Look at this picture. There it is right there. No, no, of course not Great only fat people on the beach
Plus size people Oh, you know, it's probably for safety because I would probably throw a harpoon in her a whale better not breach there
I will not get saved. Yeah another member they had this day. Actually the great white population was
Tripled in that area.
Why does this lady have to be fat, skimpily dressed, and bald?
Oh, because they need a space to be themselves.
Actually, she's dead.
She actually washed up?
She washed up.
They found that fat zone.
Oh no, she died in like Buenos Aires, I think.
She just washed up here.
She had hair.
It just all fell off in the ocean.
Piranhas got
What it's quite the picture that's fucking crazy by the way
But why people want to be with each other? I don't want to see other fat people. Oh well
It's probably more for the fat there
There's a confident fat that I'm always impressed by myself
This lady has something about her that I am actually impressed with her like fucking who cares man. I'm always impressed by myself. This lady has something about her
that I am actually impressed with her.
Like, fucking, who cares, man?
I'm just stretching out.
Who needs a towel?
But they do make bathing suits that would fit her.
No, no, no, but she's a dumb pig
who thinks everybody wants to see her sloppy rolls.
I will say, sometimes a fat guy who doesn't care is sexy,
but it's not sexy when a woman,
like, that's not, her confidence doesn't make her sex to somebody does to somebody does there's a but it's probably gonna
be like wow she doesn't care I'm turned on it probably got to be a shade of like
Wesley Snipes black though comes looking for that Dougie Doug perhaps the star
factor does not go with women here's a problem I have with this photo though why
do fat people why why do they have feet?
Now he's outside of the community,
gets to talk about them like,
oh, why are these fat?
Mr. Doot-a-doo all of a sudden.
Why do fat people, why do their feet not get fat?
Also, they are.
They are.
But that foot, look at the size of her calf.
I think sneakers cut off.
If you put that foot next to like a normal sized calf,
you'd see how fat the foot is. But you would think that the fat would make it down to the foot?
The ankle is like a sieve. You can't all get in there. That's a fat foot, Bobby.
That's not as fat as the rest of her. It should be like her foot should be
fat. I think sneakers on socks keep some of the fat away also when you're
Give a little advice to a big fat lady
The one one beautiful thing about being a guy if you're fat is
It seems to work that if you cover yourself with tattoos, I've only done my arms
Oh shit, but I don't take my shirt off in public really at all, but if I was covered in tattoos I
Would and somehow
There becomes a thing where it's not no one's really spectacle in your fat at that point. It's a great point
They're kind of doing that with a woman all it points out is that your tattoos are like life-size pictures of people
It's like hey, have you seen my thigh tattoo of Darth Vader fighting Luke Skywalker on the stairs?
Why?
Real submarine
The new towers it's fucking yeah, it's like Ralph Macchio fucking full by standing on the thing in the ocean practicing butterfly kicks. I love that t-rex
She's like no, it's a rooster
Sucking up people. Yes, there's a whole scape on her body. It's sucking up cows
But that's true about the tattoos I had a friend out fat kid
I'm a still fat brother fat kid and I had a friend, I was a fat kid, I'm still fat but I was a fat kid,
and I had another friend who was fat but he had dreads.
White guy was dreads, this was back when that was cool.
He becomes the dreads guy.
He became the dread guy.
And then he started making fun of me for being fat.
He got to his head and he thought he wasn't even fat anymore.
He's like, no, I was fat, now I have a look.
I'm the dreads guy.
Fat black guys still get away with it too though.
Matrice never got shit for being fat.
What?
No, like he would,
you would say something about fat,
he'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fat.
You'd have to go at other angles,
his clothes, what he said.
No, sure, but you could get-
Fat jokes with him weren't getting hit.
No, you can get him with fat,
they just were saying you had to find
a new level of fat joke.
Like he's hurt, you know a fat guy
Patrice is fat as whole life. So as I that's why you're impenetrable with that I've you can't make a better fat joke about me that I can write myself. So that's the easy thing
That's why I'm so good at making is this this big pig on the thing
This is why I'm good at this is why I'm good at a trash in these animals
She's giving us double fingers because she knows what we're saying. Look at her picture, she's already giving middle fingers.
Combative because she knows no one goes that's hot.
They he.
Huh?
They he.
Who?
It's her pronoun, Joe.
They he?
It's not a girl, it's a they he.
I'm not hurt, they he.
I'll argue too, it's not a girl.
Fat sometimes, you fat yourself outside gender,
transcends gender.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, is it a guy wearing a woman's outfit Wow?
That's her stand. Well, if that's her dick roll, then I guess that's a he all right
What an animal he's not bald there Christine don't
Do not fucking properly gender eyes
I say they're so fat you can go with the they pronoun
That is the more appropriate. How about an it?
Damn awake, and I'm here for it
Man, oh is that her as a little her a little anything I?
Hate seeing baby pictures of both of her look at her both her legs wrapped up shit. Oh wait hang on
I gotta hear this
Damn it. I coughed yesterday and broke both my legs
She can't since she has lipid demons now what uh, it's probably some she has from being a big fatso
Christine to me favor look up lipid demons see if being a fat so is the thing if not, I might to apologize in the radio
Find out first before I cause it and also make sure it's not cancer
I have to apologize to abnormal fat deposit and connective tissue bubbly go back to the picture fuck this fat bitch
Fat deposit legs up fucking with your mo haircut. I don't want to see this pig on a beach even on fat people day
She's doing the karate kid. That goes girl up. She's doing the karate kid. Just hear that girl up, scroll up.
She's standing on one leg.
Oh, that's not called standing.
She's dancing.
Busting it open.
Whoa.
She has more followers than me.
This is very upsetting.
Of course, she's braver than you.
Yeah, that's true.
It's not she, it's he.
That's braver than you.
You should change your pronouns and get fatter.
What's funny is she's like. I fatter look at look at oh look at oh look at you
man her feet always hurt yeah what's the music she's loving so much oh it's dj snake
freaking ozuna megan the stallion i feel so thin looking at her. She's actually thin in the waist. I'll tell you what, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I'll tell you what that's got moves for sure. That dance is better than I thought. That is definitely not correct.
But in fairness, in fairness, its thing in front
is going, it's
that
that glop of shit in front of it
That you that it puts sort of in the pants and sort of in this shirt
it it makes the entire length of the body when
When it moves up
She's got she's got all right moves for the big girl it or big. What what is she he?
He they he they, what? What, what then? They're here?
First base.
He they with a big rack.
He's like, I'm they.
Yes, we know you're many people.
Oh, I don't call that a big rack.
That's a sloppy, sloppy rack.
That's one of those full plate pancakes.
He's got a pretty face.
She has tits like novelty pancakes at tourist places.
It fills the whole plate, why?
Dude, I thought she was Asian.
She's just fattened.
Oh yeah. I thought she was., she's just fattened.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, her face has been Asian.
I was so fat in middle school,
people thought I was Japanese.
It don't happen.
It don't happen, you can fat your eyes right, Swinton.
I tried to use it to get into college.
Yeah.
Oh man, well hopefully maybe her eyes will grow shut
and she'll lose some of that. That will lose some weight.
Now you get it.
Thank you.
Yeah, so they have a day at the beach.
I'm against it.
No.
Body positivity day?
I'm gonna go there fat and I'm gonna judge other people.
It's body positivity day, I'm gonna go, no I'm fat.
Look how fat this person is.
I'm gonna go up to him and go like,
put his shirt back on.
No, no, no, don't wear that.
You should wear a one piece there.
Do you think the lifeguard every second is running over?
You okay?
Are you all right?
No, I'm just lying here.
Yeah, hey bald them.
Hey bald them.
Bald them.
Bald them.
Put away your balls or tits or whatever the fuck.
Hey bald them, can you every five minutes
just raise your hand so I know you're not dead?
The ambulance, they just keep,
the ambulance is getting called over and over again.
They have 75 ambulances at the beach that day.
And the beach, the whale breach emergency crew.
But they have pickup truck ambulance?
Yeah, a lot of you is already turning blue.
So I'm talking about though,
if the brain starts losing oxygen.
The thing about fat people, I feel like every fat person.
I mean, we're all fat in this room, by the way.
But every fat person thinks someone else.
Except for Jacob, sorry. Every fat person thinks the other person's fatter.
We all think, the person we look at,
like someone pointed to me and Sean Paton the other day,
like, Sean Paton.
We looked the same.
Bobby just called Christine fat.
No, no, Christine.
Remember that?
Yeah, he did.
I caught it.
Did you guys all catch it?
Christine, you're not fat.
I know he was, he doesn't refer to women.
Whatever, Bobby.
Hey, look at, he, they is not fat. I know he was, he doesn't refer to women. Whatever, Bobby. Hey, look at, he they is not fat.
But someone said me and Sean look the same,
we are both insulted, you know what I mean?
Cause you both think, you always think
the other person's fat. Oh, that's so funny, yeah.
Like, no, no, no.
Cause we're all looking in the mirror,
and for some reason the mirror just shows you
what you wanna see, it's like the Harry Potter mirror.
You just see what you wanna see.
I didn't know, you don't know how fat you are either,
until you get thin.
And like I didn't know when I watch my special now
and I see how fat I was, I didn't know I was that fat.
And guess what, nobody told me how fat I was.
I'm sure you got some hints.
I got what you did to me, my pants,
the fact that my butt and penis ever, Yeah, I'm sure there's a couple clips.
I was tired 20 minutes into my special.
Why do I have to be positive about these people's bodies?
Body positivity, it's funny,
because my special, I talk a lot about body positivity.
Nice.
It's bullshit because you can say all you want,
no one's fucking you anymore than they did,
you're still getting fucked less.
So it's why pretend like,
you know, they're still gonna just like your picture and then fuck a skinny person
Oh, no exactly what I'm saying like the body positivity goes, of course, I will go to the beach and
Hey ladies. Yeah, you know, it's like isn't as bad as positive you can be I won't go up to you and be like, yeah
No, these guys too. Hey dudes, it works in like a range body positivity like this. I don't understand these girls should be on a range
Excited about this is you would like it
Grazing yeah, let him graze they're gonna suck up all that seawater. Yeah, but if you see like an anorexic like that's also gross gross
Also gross
Also that that's the thing the body positivity thing is not gonna be a bunch of fucking bulimia It's always always that a lot of hot people now use body positivity
Like am I supposed to be positive about this?
I'd rather find the big monsters quite honestly, I'd rather get a hand job from her. It's just the other
It's like a different eating disorder. Yeah. Yeah, I'd rather get a finger in the ass from that thing
Yeah, I'd rather I get a knee in my asshole
Well, I don't know if that's a girl either
But what nobody's like this there's so many few people that are like this. Yeah, go the other way
I've seen them at the gym working out. I've never seen them.
Get off the treadmill. But there is fewer people that go way too skinny
than there is way too fat.
Yeah, we definitely don't have an anorexic problem in America.
Some call it an epidemic.
These children are anorexic by the time they're 11 now.
There's lots of that, but nobody's
looking at them being like, let's
have a fucking anorexic beach day
and be excited about this body
Yeah, yeah here, but nobody congratulations for finding a bathing suit that doesn't fit you fat piece of shit
Hey, what's up, I'm BK burglar Bob Kelly aka the rooster
I'm big Jay Okerson. I only have one aka
I'm a cowboy. Look if you love the bonfire, which you know you do you this is just half of the show That's right. It's the podcast version everybody
So if you want to hear the whole thing go to serious XM comm slash bonfire to get the whole thing
Yeah, you get tons of other entertainment, too
It's not just us you got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show
You got all kinds of other shows and you know what tell a friend, but most importantly this show
Yeah, this show just go to the show do something resembling anything
Yeah, they have a day they go to the beach and they can all be fat together and they run out of hot dogs at 1130
in the morning
Yeah At least this is actual body positivity at least it's not a hot girl talking about like yeah
Oh, you're some bullshit. You know this is like you're just asking a lot from the world. What's a body?
That's what I mean though a body positivity day. What do you how do you enforce that at a beach?
But anyway, can I say something you go do you think fat people are unattractive? Yes, you're not welcome here
You're not welcome here. He goes. I'm not gonna go poke them in the stomachs and laugh at them
Can I just go to the beach also? Yeah, but if you go to any beach any day in America, it's fat
Yeah, I mean every day. Oh my god. The Sun must be exhausted
This woman's belly. What did you say? Not where I'm from? I'm on the beach in California
I mean you're really it's like I I still go back
I'm like a size 10 and I'm fucking disgustingly huge out there you just go to the beach in Jersey and you're like
fucking
Go to Beach in Maine York Beach, Maine. It was all fat fucking whales in the beach. No, that's the move dude
Wherever we went where we had Daytona Beach during the day. I felt pretty good in that ocean when I went
I was like, oh, this is a gathering of the jugglers
But don't you want to go to beach and see like hot people?
I'm not a beach person off the fat day. You're right. I'd rather go walk around and look at a
Hot people for sure my also point is being I don't give a fuck if it is all fat people either like what's the point of these kind of situations like the body
positivity goes what am I changing right and also I wouldn't insult these people
to their faces I'll laugh behind their fat backs as I always would right like
what are you still or they're stopping or on radio yeah but it's like if I don't
these women are I want to insult them personally. So funny, like, I'd never make fun of them.
Yeah, but it seems like every, to their faces, everybody.
They agreed to be in the fat beach pictures.
Everybody needs a fucking day.
Everybody wants a damn day, that's what it is.
Everybody wants a, we want our day,
so we all go down to the beach on fat positivity day.
And it's funny, if you look at that photo,
there's a skinny couple walking in the background.
I'd be humiliated to go to Fat Day for something
I thought I needed to be a part of Fat Day.
Well, I'm pretty sure it's just them.
I'm probably, yeah, it's probably just four fat chicks
with tattoos.
It's the person we were looking at.
They were like, are you, who goes?
And they were like, they go.
I know they're not from around here,
but this is the New York Post my friend.
This is only hard hitting facts.
That's true, that's true.
I take it back.
This is the New York Post.
The height of journalism.
A space where people can be themselves.
But the thing about being like having a day, it's like, okay, maybe it's not wrong to
be fat, but it's definitely not right.
That's what I'm saying also.
Let's not go the other way.
What makes a difference is that you can eat potato salad out of a bucket on fat so day. Being obese
and fat is, you know, you see some chick with a big spoon. It's unhealthy as shit being that heavy.
So it's like to go, it's like you can go to the beach today
and no one's gonna say something to you.
How often are people being mocked at a beach?
These girls wanna go down there and just kill a seagull
and eat it on the beach.
Yeah, that's what it is.
They don't wanna see their things.
He goes, finally all those skinny bitches are gone.
Now we can bring our extra large cooler.
Also, you might.
I'm trying to cool off a six foot sub in two parts.
They think it hauls in the sand just pouring ice in them.
Also, if you see one really fat person at a beach, you're not going to say anything.
If you see an entire beach full of fat people, that's a bit of a...
That's a concern.
You're going to take a photo first.
You're going to take a photo.
You're going to think of a really funny saying.
It's only a spectacle when they get together.
Individually, it's fun.
A beach full of just fat...
Oh man, that would be a great flyover on a helicopter, wouldn't it?
Fat beach, she goes, what is this, some kind of a...
What are those, jellyfish?
She goes, is this some sort of a fucking protest of some sort?
Are they spelling something?
What are they spelling?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh China would evade us the next day.
Yeah.
China should come now.
Look at these fat people.
That's what I'm saying, they saw this.
What are we gonna do?
You guys love eating blubber?
Yeah, we love their food.
That day, it's gonna be interesting that day
when the earthquakes hit all across New York City.
Oh man, I get to be.
The earthquakes are because of these people?
Yeah, or when they get together on beach day.
Yeah, there was beach day that caused
the earthquake on Saturday. There's a reason it coincides
with the pride month. They said that's a very purposeful thing too, because
that's when you got to get your fat gaze out there in their short shorts.
Fat gaze. Fat gaze got to get out there in their short shorts. Look at this
lady. Oh my God. You're so right about the tattoo. It's a life sized tattoo
on her thigh. Oh, absolutely. It absolutely it's actually all recipes you know I forget. It's a favorite thing it's like a KitchenAid mixer.
Yeah it's our life size. It's how to make a good sauce. It's a normal person's life-size tattoo.
Shrimp scampi. It's bottomless out and breadsticks from Olive Garden.
And it says keep them coming underneath keep them coming damn what
does it say I'm so self-conscious at the beach yeah you should be but now that
I'm with 42 other people that look like me I'm so excited what's berries what is
that is that fat clothes I bet yeah it's the
vintage store curated for curves oh like a moomo for yeah yeah like mama
Cass is old stuff yeah it's all old DXL shit because the moomoos specifically
for pregnant people I guess I think the fats were Moo Moo. Yeah, I guess
Wives were you know pregnant women wear Moo Moo's yeah, it's like fat beach day are becoming powerful. What what are the residents say?
It's okay. It's very ugly clothes for fat people. Yeah, what was that feet thing?
I'm not saying fat people
feet and hands are gross, but it doesn't seem
like the fat makes it to the hands or feet.
The way it made it to the rest of their body.
Well, yeah.
There's not as much fat ability there.
The ankle is hard to get all the fat through.
Yeah, it's like, do you think the foot would be,
you wouldn't be able to see the toes or the hand,
the fingers, it would just keep fattening up.
But it seems like it stops at the wrists and the ankles.
Oh, god.
Not there.
That's a muffin foot.
She got stung by a bee.
When you finally do break through and have fat on your feet,
that's like, that's when you're fat.
Well, it's now with the 600 pound life girl, right?
Like, her fat, like, something broke through and she started getting
fat forehead
No, she's got a cave person having a meeting in there. I don't know where we should go next Tammy. Oh my god
This woman another one can't wipe her own ass
Another woman, another one, can't wipe her own ass. Yeah.
No chance.
The way she dances, maybe she can twist her body.
Look at that.
Look at that right there.
She can wipe her own ass.
That's a pretty.
I feel so much in shape right now.
It's kind of awesome.
How do you get to it?
Watch this.
It's so light.
She's flexible, dude.
Black Lou, look at happen.
Remember what I said?
Did you get to a point where a girl, it's like there's
a level of fat that can still
get, I mean it's pretty fat, the level of white girl fat that'll still get in a good
looking black dude, but then it's, there's just a, you hit this one pound over a certain
thing and then it becomes right back to fat white trash dudes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe a skinny white trash dude.
Yeah, fat girls usually go lesbian though. Well that's a new thing now, right? skinny white trash dude. Yeah fat girls usually go lesbian though
Well, that's a new thing now, right? Yeah
Lesbians like each other gaze and lesbians are way more fat
Tolerant than yeah, they don't have any
Mateo would beat the shit out of it
Men with hot like boyfriends all the time. Mateo would stab her on the beach. That's a type though.
That's different types, but yeah.
I assume Mateo would never fuck me.
Mateo would throw up if you went to that beach date.
Well, there's certain gays that only date people
that don't look like them.
Liberace, that's the Liberace gay.
But definitely there's fact tolerance
with the other gay community.
I feel like more than, you know, I
feel like a fat guy can do much better in the gay community
No, there's no bit. Oh term for bear in the straight
Shape no, no, no, no, he's not wrong by the way, there's
Young hot guys that are looking for like a very much time. There's not girls too
guys that are looking for like a very much time there's not girls too there's not girls looking for that too in the world but less but bears less and less
vocal can I say something bring up bears bears or not they're fat but they're
solid there it's a it's a for a crusher it's a he's a bear that it's a fat
solid guy this is there's nothing solid about this. I mean, that's a wooly mammoth. That's not a bear. That's like, I mean like.
They found her in mud.
But like, you know, but like, yeah, not this.
Yeah, but no one's, oh yeah.
Look at these bears, show the bear.
I mean, that's the only way.
Those guys are big.
They got big shoulders and chests.
That's a bear.
Those are bears.
Look at that guy has that little pecker.
He's got a little heart on.
Look at his little fucking heart on.
Jacob, look at it.
You watch Modern Family, what about that guy? He's like a bear. He's not that fat. It's got a fat
He's proportionately fat and his boyfriend is very attractive
What remember the more?
What's going on hot like gay but gay guys sometimes flirt with me online like for clips and sometimes women do and the guy gay
Guys are way hotter yeah I
can see that coming. You got guys flirting with you? Yeah yeah actually a lot I think
I really I think they consider me a bear a sloppy bottom bear yeah sometimes they
say shit where I'm like this is really inappropriate but I'm a man so I don't
I'm like this is sexual harassment I just don't want you to fuck me and shit you know
hey man
but i'm like
it's a nice compliment
i hear you
you're like a girl in the 50s
yeah yeah
i'm like oh thank you
and before you ask if i'd rather fuck a guy or this
this
really?
yes
alright wait wait stop stop
i think that line is homophobic honestly
yeah homophobic honestly
Homophobic thing of ever just know I hate gay more than
So Matteo Matteo or her
Her beautiful trans woman or her huh beautiful trans woman. That's a trans guy. It says now
What isn't it like that isn't it like that that it hurt him him it it's he they mm-hmm Yeah, but that's not trans. I think trans goes by the way. It's fine
There's a three panel cartoon on her other leg
The tattoos are ridiculous. She actually went to tattoo polish. She goes give me this wall
But none of it makes sense there's a dog and a cowboy a lightning bolt that says
taking care of business did you choose your tattoo yes this whole side of the
looks like a wall of a comedy club wherever writing their names and shit
that would be a great tattoo just have a whole comic side her thing says you
deserve a life worth living but doesn't deserve it enough to lose weight so she doesn't die
She should put it not talking about she should put for the next six months. That's what was gonna kill you Bobby
That was the the gut the gut one. It's called visceral fat. It's the ones pulling on your heart the whole time
So you thought about getting a
I've been thinking about I did know as I'm big before it made us feel pretty sick
So we said fuck you up. There's the other one you can do this made but yeah getting Ozempic? I've been thinking about it. I did Ozempic before. It made us feel pretty sick, so we stopped taking Ozempic.
So they fuck you up? Fuck you up.
There's the other one you can do.
There's many, but yeah, there's other ones that have side effects and shit.
I want to do it. Now, if someone loses weight, I always wonder if they're on Ozempic or not.
Sure.
I can't trust anyone anymore.
You don't have to trust it at all.
What do you mean?
Take Ozempic, man.
Like you see a friend who loses a bunch of weight, and you're like, did they use Ozempic?
Because they don't always say.
You know what I mean?
I knew about Ozempic before I got my surgery,
but they brought it to me for what it was,
a pre-diabetic thing, which I didn't want to take
because I didn't want to, I just wanted to not be diabetic.
I don't want to take.
But if I knew Ozempic was an option
or the newer ones that came out,
I might have not got the surgery.
Because that was, yeah, it's easier.
Sure.
Oh yeah.
A little easier, yeah.
Well. It makes you really, it can make you feel really sick. It's easy, but when we stopped taking the surgery. Yeah, it's easier. Sure. Oh yeah. A little easier, yeah. It makes you feel really sick.
It's easy, but when we stopped taking those Zempick,
it was we jumped up to the dose we would have been on,
I guess, for a while.
And it was before we did that skanks weekend.
And man, just like.
What's sick?
Like nauseous?
Nauseous, run down.
I threw up almost everything I ate.
That's gross, yeah.
It was bad.
People say it was Zempick. We lost weight though. You did, yeah. Sure. We're supposed to throw it up, gross. Yeah, I don't
You did yeah sure what's the throwing up? Yeah, I didn't throw up I didn't have a throwing up issue at all, but I would definitely get the nausea and like but I mean it works
I mean the new one works better. They don't throw up right? There's like another there's a didn't they take the stuff out of
Listen to dr. Gales
Well, you're listening to Dr. Gale's lunacy. Pep pods.
I just remember.
He goes, they pulled, he goes, I figured it out.
He goes, this is just the weight loss of ozempic and no side effects.
But I have the only one.
It's like handcuffed to a briefcase.
You have to shoot a needle in the eye.
It makes you not hungry at all, right?
Yeah, it takes away your hunger.
That is interesting food.
Isn't that kind of bad?
Like you feel like a robot, like an alien?
I don't know. That seems interesting food. Isn't that kind of bad? You feel like a robot, like an alien? I don't know.
That seems like hunger is part of society.
You think so.
But no.
And it's very how that happened I thought was the most kind
of organic thing.
You're just like, because I didn't see how that would happen.
I go, I don't know what you mean.
So it's like, I'm going to not eat two cheeseburgers when
I order fast food or whatever.
And then it's just like, you could order it,
but you're just not going to eat it.
Well, how do you fill the void
with that fat chick oh you're still filling it you'll just naturally no
matter what if you'd have probably didn't work out or do anything like
health-wise from it you'll lose weight because you'll just like you are you can
still fill the void you can go order McDonald's every night of the week
you're just gonna eat less of it. Probably under the calories you would need to eat. The problem with it though is
a lot of people are just taking that and not working out. And what happens, why Ozempic
is bad now, they're losing fat and all their muscle. I've seen that on people. Yeah, and
they look like shit and it really fucks your body up because you need muscle around your
joints. Right, right, I've seen that. So when you take Ozempic, you have to lift weights.
Lift weights, yeah.
And walk and keep your muscle as you're losing weight.
I've seen that where the skin looks weird, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure, any kind of weight loss, that'll happen.
Yeah, well.
I mean, eventually they're gonna come out
with a pill you just take.
Yeah.
And it eats body fat or something.
I say do it.
If you can get it, do it.
You can get it now pretty cheap.
My girlfriend doesn't want me to do it.
Why?
I don't know, I guess she thinks...
Skinny bitch. Yeah, I know. I don't it. Hey, you can get it now preach it my girlfriend doesn't want me to do it Why I don't I guess she thinks skinny bitch. Yeah, I know
Yeah, all right, honey, well I'm gonna go talk my friends over at Fat Beach Day
Who's this
That's an article about a zempik, but she's not thrown about her shrunken, but we go up and also cancer
I think is one of the side effects. I saw once
Drunken butt we go up and also cancer. I think is one of the side effects. I saw once
Thyroid that's not good. You get cancer from snackables and shit true. It's literally the same probably pretty shitty for you Yeah, everything we eat is fucking cancer, dude. I know this lady here
I'm not gonna take this as anything about the ozempic butt because well don't wear the same exact underwear
Yeah, don't we don't wear your fat ass underwear. It looks like her ass actually looks pretty good Slim down. I mean, I don't think it looks great either either option. Yeah, don't wear your fat ass underwear. It looks like her ass actually looks pretty good slimmed down.
I mean, I don't think it looks great either option. Yeah.
I don't think you lost organ. Take it over to fat beach day bitch.
Like I'm a model round butt by not doing any squats or something. Yeah, she's just gonna take this and
figure. She's just gonna take this and have a figure? I think you do an age. Why don't we get a figure? People wanna take, inject something and lose weight
and feel better and look a little better in clothes.
Listen, I, as a thing, I don't picture myself
getting yoked in any kind of way when I was taking it.
It's just like, I just wanna shop at a mall for clothes
and feel comfortable.
And then when I see myself in pictures,
not be like fucking devastated.
I don't think I, I don't think there's gonna be a't think I'll, I don't think there's gonna be a,
probably not, but I don't think there's gonna be a part
in my life ever where I'm just like,
oh, everyone's shirts are off, let's take pictures.
I feel like my whole life, someone will take a picture of me,
I'll look at it, I'll be like, this is disgusting,
and then a year later I'll look back at that picture
and be like, I never knew what I had, I look great.
And then I just,
and then I just repeat that process every year.
Every year you're just looking back at the picture laughter
that you hated at first, but now wish you were.
Dude, I feel that way. I feel that way now.
Every time there's a picture of me, I can't look at it.
How old are you, Renan?
40.
Oh, you're 40, yeah.
So that is the same thing. That is funny.
Like, what's now is doing comedy long enough to, like,
see the insane youth change on my face in doing this
Yeah, well, I'm unrecognizable to myself from my start of comedy to now like I think someone tagging you in a photo without letting
You know, I would rather you fuck me and give me AIDS
You tag me unannounced in a photo that will ruin my whole life before the next show you do somebody fucks you and gives you a
Least you don't tag me.
It's the worst when someone tags you,
especially if you're doing stand up.
If you're doing stand up and you see a fucking
photographer in there, you know later you're gonna
get a picture where it's just the worst.
I hate when they, because they're always from the side.
I always from the side and low.
Let's get to chin.
I tell them I go fucking hang yourself from the ceiling
you cocksucker.
I literally get, I beg them I go, please don't, and if you had a bunch of pictures where I look fat and you cocksucker. You're not fucking post-hack. I beg him, I go, please, don't,
and if you had a bunch of pictures where I look fat,
and you're gonna do whatever you're gonna do with them
anyway, just don't show them to me.
Don't go through the things.
Yeah, they'll send you 12 of them.
I know, and you just stop.
You'll just have the gun in your fucking mouth.
What are you doing, stop!
Especially the side, it's the, they're always side low.
I totally know.
How are you the club's professional photographer?
When you, when you, we were doing the FX, the sex drag thing, I had a fat actress tell me how are you the club's professional photographer when you when you were doing the FX the sex drugs thing
I had a fat actress tell me how to take photos
You have to you have to bend over so when everybody gets up you put your hands behind
Bend over and lean forward and stretch your neck out and smile like that
So it actually condenses your body women know how to do do that. And it stretches your neck out. Women have...
Now, there is a fat pig with information.
These sloppy animals are out here fucking up our beaches.
No, you really... It's like a stretch out.
Yeah, you have to...
You stretch your neck out and bend your body in half.
Because then you don't get the double skin.
And the mewing. The mewing that Kimmy showed us.
Kimmy Congdon.
The mewing.
You put your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
Watch, watch from the side.
Look how it works.
I'm gonna not do it on three.
I'll do it and you can see the change in my neck.
Ready?
I mean the slightest of changes.
I mean.
You do have a giant tooth there.
Yeah, watch on me.
Ready? In a picture it changes.
Yeah, right here, watch.
I'm also across the room.
Yeah, yeah, I see it tightens up a little, yeah.
It's, yeah.
Good for pictures.
I get the part with the goatee.
Good for pictures.
Yeah, you.
Yeah, a little bit of healing.
Is that just toned up?
But flat across the top of your,
like try to get it all up there.
Don't make an O with your mouth.
Like that.
Boom, yeah. There it goes.
It did nothing.
Ronan Hirschberg's special Brave is streaming right now on YouTube.
He's going to be at the Comedy Club of Kansas City June 28th through the 30th
for tickets and all tour dates. Go to Ronan Hirschberg, R-A-A-N-A-N
H-E-R-S-H-B-E-e-r-s-h-b-e-r-g renanhershbergcomedy.com
uh... check him out absolutely fun
and funny
and fun again he's three funs fun funny and fun and fun fun fun
uh... we'll be right back to say goodbye everybody it's
simple check and the boys!