The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Field Trips (feat. Dave Attell)

Episode Date: December 28, 2021

The legend Dave Attell joins the guys to tell funny stories about high school field trips!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@Attell www.DaveAttell.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Our guest is looking up. SIGURATE ON THE TABLE. That's how you know it means business. Yes.

Yes. And SIGURATE ON THE MOUTH. I'm SIGURATE ON THE MOUTH guys. And cigarette in the mouth. I'm pleased welcome back to the show. One of the grace of all time, where you can catch a Caroline's December 27th through the 30th. It's David Bell. It's a big.

DavidTell.com for tickets. Go check them out in New York City. December 27th through the 30th. I was thinking about it and Christine email me and I was looking at the email and we have the same thing from last year of like hey we're not going to be in studio we got to do it on Zoom so we've come along with people. Yeah look at us right back to where we were just like kids all back down But I was ready to come in I brought the holiday treats

Oh, man in person that would have been awesome Christine's got to change your panties after this Not the first guy to be talking about candy on zoom I assume No, no, no, no, that's I assume I tell people lower children over to their home Candy I'm gonna give it to a first responder. Why not? Yeah, dude Yeah, we're not If you're pulling bodies out, dude might as well have some Reese's or some Kit Kats What we're going for is when me and Christine came over to visit you I remember you had the when they were doing the cheering for the first responders and you had like a Professional like trumpet player would come do a whole thing. Yes. You're a street

from you were still in the yeah. It was like a Broadway guy or something, right? Or Symphony. Jay, that was three variants ago. That's how I keep dime now. Because that's so three variants. That's funny. I always I measure a cost of things in shinler juice How many juice is that cost? Yeah, how many juice I have gotten What else could I have gotten This guitar could probably be four juice this globe could be half a Jew You can read it black and white and I was watching that on the road and I fell asleep and I came I

I was watching that on the road and I fell asleep and I came back, you know, like I woke up and raging bull was on. And I'm like, yeah, at least they're fighting back. Yeah. This one they put you down. Yeah, fighting back. Which you're doing the the week at Caroline's who's doing it with you this year. I got a bunch of people coming in Nicole Amy Amy is going to be there. She's coming in from LA. Karen is going to be there. You know, at the stand, she's great. Honestly, I'm looking at her and Ian's going to come by. Louis, Cass is going to be there. So, and then we're

going to have probably have a couple of drop-by's. But you guys are always welcome to come by. I always always want to. eyes, but you guys are always welcome to come by I always always I'll say if you want to always try to come at least watch one I Damn Better than time square this time of year People are coming together and just being together. It's fine. I was gonna go lick some benches anyway, and if I'm in the area I'll be in the area. How about you guys you gonna're going to be on the road holiday, you're going to stay in New York. I'm staying in New York. Yeah. I'm staying in New York. I'm going to go, uh, I have a New Year's gig and Providence. Oh, that'll be fun. And that's, uh, and that's it. Yeah. And then we'll see. We'll see if I don't have this COVID or not. Um,

are you guys are you guys you guys a constantly testing? Because that's the hard thing now is to get a test. No, I got tested today. I'm waiting to hear back. And I did a rapid test because I was in Boston all this week and doing shows. So when I got back, I gave myself a head and a means COVID. Danny needs COVID.

That's your home age tests. Oh, no, well, that's usually through a bunch of beakers and burning liquids. I would determine if I have HIV or not. You know what, the lines have never been longer. I've been out. It's crazy. Looks like new iPhones are coming out.

You see that? Yeah. I've got COVID tents. Yeah. Oh dude, I've used the tent. In fact, the guy, I used the tent one time, and the guy was like, hey, just a screen grab the picture of your code thing, you know? And he's like, next time you want to get tested, just walk up and show me this.

I just like show it to him. And he's like, and you can get tested. Wow. Nice. VIPs. Oh, yeah, dude, it's the bottle service of COVID, Dave. Instead of them bringing you a bottle of vodka with a sparkler in it, they shove a swab up your nose.

Yeah, those swabs have gotten thinner and they go deeper with them now. Oh. But at least they should have a flap or something just a little privacy. Maybe I'm old. I don't see it. Just fucking those in front of all these people. Sorry, Dave. We're way more open. We do it in front of everyone. I love the watch people getting tested. I'm a warrior. I'm a test warrior. Yeah, that's the new king. Yeah. Christine, do you have that story up because we were talking about

shinler's list, this thing about the third graders acting out the Holocaust. Is this like the exp, is this like the power experiments they used to do with the, uh, now I think it was just an old way to do like police or like wardens and, uh, yeah, prison. 70s. Yeah, yeah, not all the kids got super mean. That's how my parents met. My father was one of the guards, my mother, a prisoner. Yeah, in a in mock prison. They met mock prison. What brought you two together? Just role playing. Yeah, it was, um, it was an after school special. I remember about that. Oh, they didn't know. They didn't turn all the kids into Nazis. Well, this is a certain librarian and DC directed third graders. Can you go down? Chris? I can't. Well, the weird thing that the headline itself was weird. It says to

reenact scenes from the Holocaust. Like, you mean thing that the headline itself was weird, it says, to re-enact scenes from the Holocaust. Like, you mean events of the Holocaust? No, they go, no, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,

they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go,

they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, if anybody just sits there quietly more, it's these people. Yeah, well, their stake was so proactive, you know? Well, yeah, Dave, they're just sitting there, kicking up cockamami schemes to make third graders relive the hall. You have squid games for children. Historical squid games for these children to participate in. Well, apparently apparently this librarian in DC directed the third graders to reenact the holocaust, including asking them to dig

ditches for mass graves and simulate shootings. According to a, according to email that the school's principal said that parents. That's the part that's striking me more than anything here. All this information was given to them According to an email the school's prints into parents late. Was he sending that email like? Hey, parents just so you know, we're doing the Holocaust I'm going to get mass graves doing some Couple guys what's going but it's principal Davis is one of let you guys do we're doing more of an immersive thing now Where the kids actually live out the Holocaust We got one kid do they give one kid in struck doing a big we're doing a bake sale fundraiser to be able to afford the

The arm bands are pretty expensive one student was instructed to portray Hitler Wow, which that kid that kid's gonna be obnoxious the rest of his life. Yeah, I like it how it was digging ditches Like she had them just do like chores around her house You ditches clean out those gutters, you know like in the holocaust I don't know if you guys know this been in the holocaust a lot of Jews power washed driveways It's gonna be funny after they know nothing about the Holocaust now, but they all know karate like karate kid. He goes, did we learn, did we learn about World War two?

No, are we efficient in Miyagi style? Miyagi do karate. Yeah, from the trees, prune the trees, dig the hole. Keep it eye in the little Hitler. I'm going to North Springs. Don't let these little hiller here in charge so I get back. Yeah and if you're good I'll give you some speech juice. She's just giving a fucking booze. Just feeding these third graders, Dacqueries. You know, when they asked the kids are gonna go, uh, were you instructed the play Hitler?

It was like instructed. It was my honor. I can't believe I was able to do that. It's to lead. I got the lead in the whole. What did you do today in school, Jimmy? And he's like, I ran the third Reich. You learn about the third Reich. Like, no, no, no, there was a lot of important decisions to be made No, Paul Winder not I guess well I led with Poland because obviously you know a wins a win To this is crazy the staff member has been placed on administrative leave while the matter is investigated The episode has been referred to the district's central equity response team What do you think the thing what do you think the tell was at the end of having the reported was it the ditches?

Was it, uh, was it, I bet it was little Hitler, I bet little Hitler's family. I think little Hitler came back to like he went to math class to confident or art. He was an art just being like, oh you don't mean he, you don't think he, he turned on him. He wasn't a rat. You're saying he just wore it too long. He kept going. He took his Hitler act. He took his Hitler act to the lunchroom.

That's not well. Well, the student assigned to the role of Hitler is Jewish, according to a panel. His Hitler act. That's hilarious. He goes, ah, when I was in third grade I had this Hitler act I would do it. Oh, I would do this Hitler. Yeah, they wrote a play around it. I don't know man I just this one librarian what if she's one of these kids favorite teachers when they grow up Like I want to thank that librarian for teaching me. I don't think Dave

Did you ever have a teacher when you were young that you felt even really cared enough to dig into a project like this? I feel like all of our teachers were just getting through the 45 minutes. I Think a lot of them were teachers because they were dodging the draft so they You know Okay, I feel like Fill out the ditto, you know, whatever that was. But I don't ever, I've never, I've never had a dangerous mind, turn the chair around type of teacher. I never had one that just like took a such a major interest

in like turning lives or teaching. They were all just like fine with it. None of them were that upset if you didn't do good. I never thought the heart, the teacher that cares this much. I can't say I had that was not a big influence. I mean, if anything was not a big influence, it was always like, you know, you see this guy? He's dumb, but he's rich.

Look at him. I've had a sixth grade, but he, you know, copped a wire, something. But you know, I have a a stand-in deliver? You got to learn math man Dave you got to learn these jokes man you got to learn premises in punchlines I say I'm gonna help you I'm gonna walk you through it essay Yeah, I never I can't think of one teacher who gave it shit teachers This is this kind of thing happened every time I'm over playing hookie because a teacher was even that concern about that They're like whatever no, but Jay this kind of thing happens once like every three years a teacher thinks they're really gonna

Break through by making them do like reenact a slave auction and then they're like hey all the kids are mad All the kids parents are mad and you have to be fired now. Or they try to make, or they try to take like that Michael Richards, like shock approach, like, you're all faggots. Oh, words, words, words, words, am I right? Ha, ha, ha. Yeah.

Oh, we're all saying crazy words. What's the meaning behind the words, but you just go and start giving preachy lessons, like, I think the teacher called us like it's today. You know, it's the weird thing though is that they all wear masks. So maybe they will associate masking with learning, you know, yeah, I really need to tell you something. Okay, let me put on my mask. Yeah, hold on. Let me get my, let me get my not magic power. You know, there's their

cape. Let me put on my knowledge, muzzle and work to work. I don't know, man, it's this kind of thing, this kind of stunt when they try to do this is always backfires and never goes through. So this person, I know more teachers, I know more people who have fucked or stories of teachers who have fucked students, then teachers that have cared so much about students that made it their entire lives. Like Joe Clark and Lino on me, where these people aren't out there. Someone who cares that much about the youth, they don't care.

Yeah, you all do the cracks. That's what happens. Yeah. Everybody I talk to in an audience who's a teacher is always, I'm like, do you love it? They're like, no. I hate it. I just fucking count in time until I get my pension. Yeah, no one's a fine to do that. Try to take something you like and use it in

the curriculum. Like, you like, uh, like matches, right? What if I told you that was all science? You know what? Just because he worked at those like, just because he worked, yeah, I guess you, you probably seem at those like fancy fucking like, uh, you know, academy he worked. Yeah, I guess you probably see him at those fancy fucking academy schools. I mean, I bet there's teachers there who really give a shit when you're in a place. It's like, you know, that's funny. I bet from those pictures of him being a professor, I bet Jeffrey Epstein. It was that teacher for so many people.

People he didn't fuck, just people were like, you know, this guy just cares man, he's so smart and he's just such a great guy. He broke down economics, like it was almost like, I was saving my allowance. He really changed the way I looked at money in general. Yeah, he did why? Oh, not the Epstein I know. Not the Epstein I know.

Not Professor Epstein, he wouldn't do those things. Not teacher and he's like, hey guys, I want you to show tomorrow with a shovel where you're pajamas. Right? We're gonna have quite a day. Yeah. Take the story down, Kristi, make us all full screen again. God damn it. That's so man. I've never, yeah, that was that one famous one in the 70s where they had the kids do the prison and stuff and they started being mean like right. Yeah, but that was at Stanford and it was college kids, so they were almost adults. This was the third graders.

Yeah, well you get them young. They should do that. Now let's do the goes, all right, I guess we'll just do the prison thing. I was trying to mix it up. They don't like flashcards, so we got to act like their prisoners. So I can't do the Armenian genocide next quarter. Well, then I have to work on my curriculum. Well, fuck me, Ronin, because in the spring we were gonna do the Sudanese Civil War. I guess these kids aren't gonna learn who the Hootsie and the The two are fucked it up. I didn't know the tribes a blue it. That's pot I didn't know the tribes a blue that's pot

You know Yeah, who takes like just a bold experiment like that. I mean Every teacher I've ever had was was absolutely okay If it was a day where they could just show us a TV thing or a movie or something they would just would Like they just never were they just did exactly what the book said and wanted to like eat their bagel and drink their coffee while we did work Did you guys do field trips because that was like a learning experience? You know like yeah, where what was your Dave? What was your favorite field trip you ever went on? We went to I lived on my so we went to go where news day was made. Oh, the paper.

The print center guy, you know, it's like three fingers, you know. The printing machine is a hungry animal. Not operating when you're drunk. And then we went to, where they made missiles. So they were really training us up for a couple of different careers. But I remember like these weird field trips like, you know, you know, uh, Hey, you know, if it doesn't work out in school, we're going to tell you to take you to a place where you might get it.

Yeah. Rob this if you loop those those first two people loading dock. Yeah, we're going to take you by a union office. Get comfortable here. I owe school trips for me, though. I think we said this in the show a while back. A couple of years ago, we talked about this.

But school trips, like the field trips, like the day long ones, where we'd go to DC and look at all the historic stuff. I bring back nothing of the rich history or whatever we were doing or the information we were doing. It was always about like hooking up or talking to a girl or something or what you can get while you were out there. Like what could we buy while we're out there? Yeah, some gift shop and shit. Like it's all we ever cared about. Yeah, imagine wanting

to learn on a field trip. There, there was also less penalties of like the year. You're the teacher and you went out with like 20 kids and you came back with 18. You're like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's the two of them.

Two of them we're gonna have a story. Relax. Yeah. Oh, I also think field trips where I saw you saw teachers get loose a little bit. I definitely saw a few of them crack a cigarette once or twice. Oh, dude, the best was always when you would have shaperones that were kids in your class as parents.

And you got to see either how big a dork, how mean they were. We were like, oh, oh, Nick's mom's fucking mean. I shaperone. I shaperone once and they literally, it always bells friends that I was a pirate, they said. And then it just, it looked off the optics of it looked bizarre It's always like three three moms and one unemployed dad, you know, yeah, that was me. I was the unemployed dead That's what it was I would go you go say kids. I'm kind of in a rut right now, but I think I can watch you look at dinosaur bones

I was thinking about all like in New York just like all the stuff that you would never do with the large group because like we would get on the Long Island Railroad and then get in the Penn station. And while holding hands, walk through Penn station to the subway, then we get on the subway. It was like, there's a million ways that would go wrong now, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously that would have been like a horrible experience. I was, I was like, what's going on with that way? Do you know what, Dad? I was, I think, this is a Bella, when I would take her to Girl Scout stuff, like I was the only father that ever went.

And, you know, she went to like a free port one. So it's like kind of the hood. Her Girl Scouts thing. And so I would sit on something, I go, is a Bella, am I the only father whoever comes to this stuff? And she was like, yeah, I go, no father, is it weird? Am I the only father who ever comes to this stuff? And she was like, yeah, I go, no father, is it weird that I come?

Like, do no other father's come? And she goes, dad, I kept saying this, it's kind of loud. And she was like, dad, a lot of them don't have fathers. And like, she wasn't wrong as the thing. Like a bunch of them just didn't have fathers around. So, it's like, they were getting so awkward. Yeah, they would like be very much. Yes, you guys had East Coast field trips.

I grew up in Colorado. So we would go to caves or places where or places where we killed Indians. That was a big one. They would just take us, they would just take us to where like massacres happened of Native Americans. Yeah, like this is where the slaughter of Aurora.

Yeah. No, but they would. They'd be like, all right, well, we can go over to Cripple Creek where it was a mining town. Oh, you're going to be like, yeah, it was all shit like that. They love taking us.

They would take us to jobs that don't exist anymore. Like silver miners or like fucking donkey trainers. Yeah, long Island, I feel like they should have took you guys like Boeing and like a DJ academy. Yeah. The two ways it could possibly turn out. This is a gym. Some of you guys are gonna be personal trainers.

And you, welcome to the exciting field of catering. Yeah. It's like a party, that town is all north face. Everybody there looks like they're ready to climb something. I mean, everybody. Do they wake up and you can't take off your fleece in Colorado or you don't. And I've been watching all these movies about these guys who were like master rock climbers. Yeah, all the more on the spectrum, you know, it's like, that's the thing that they like latch onto this like life and death thing.

But I was just thinking like growing up how like rock climbing was like, I guess for you, for you was like, consider like, yeah, okay, cool, you're smart and all, but how's your, you know, how's your assent? Can you free climb? How high can you free climb? Or, you know, what's going on? But also, Dave, that's interesting. I didn't know they're on the spectrum. It's kind of, that's the West Coast version of autistic kids with trains is Colorado autistic

kids just know how to climb real well. They're all like, it's amazing. Like their mom's like, you know, we didn't know what to do with them, but then he got involved in this rock climbing and like it really, like it was like, whatever. It's like, you know, we call them colabrains in Colorado. How they know how to do is eat leaves and climb. I didn't know that.

I was like, I'm, we would climb power, you know, like a telephone poles and power cables and stuff like that. And that was amazing. Like, this guy got right up to the wire. This guy is magical. He's alive. Yeah, we had some towers and stuff you can climb like that. Like Leonardo DiCaprio and Gilbert Grape. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get this climb and then the whole town has to come over and get you down. Order power Gilbert Grape. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get this climb in the whole town has to come over and get you down. Water power. One thing, you know. Yeah, dude. We had a bunch of that, but I always feel like in Denver though now. I love Denver, by the way.

But I feel like everybody there is in Chicago. I think they're dressed like they're ready to go climbing anytime, but I think it's just a look out there. I think people move there from all over now. I think it's a very like, it's a very like, what do you call that? Like transplant town at this point.

And I think it just goes there and can't wait to put on the, they're nicest like, you don't know. Jackets and shit. You know how Tony Hinchcliffe moved to Austin and now he rocks the cowboy look. Yes, exactly. That's what I mean.

Everybody goes to Colorado and then they, no matter where they're from, they moved to Denver and then they even no matter where they're from they moved to Denver And then they go to the REI and they just come back out looking like a different person in hiking boots and light jeans Yeah, you have like your pants are always like held on by suspenders Yeah, you have a no-wording suspenders. Yeah, you have a trail mix recipe You're a barman you call a base camp So I woke up at base camp and then I asc going to call it your apartment. You call it base camp. Yeah. So I woke up at base camp and then I ascended to work where I worked for seven, eight hours.

I only deal in military time and not measurements. Yeah. Is they good? Oh, go ahead, Dave. No, I had nothing. I was just like, I did DC. That was awesome. And then I did Denver.

Like, I had some towns and there's a, that was awesome. And then I did Danber, like I had some towns. And there's a lot of fans, comedy fans, like watching this. So I had a lot of towns during the, I guess you could say the good, good months when I was out. This is awesome, you know, like this is great. And then there was a couple of, you know, there was a couple of like rough and ready towns as well,

but the majority of the crowds that came out were, I think we can all agree with great, but soul generals continuously brings it. Crazy. I mean, honestly, it's amazing how this guy has put that together. It's really great. It's gone. Those shows, those, is it really the domes gone? It's gone.

Yeah, they move to another location, right? That's what I was talking about. I don't think he has a, no, I think it's just like using temporary locations. I might be wrong about that But I already he hasn't have an actual official location. Yeah, was that Joel's so that dome was his field of dreams if you build it They will come yeah, I think he's gonna definitely get ran out by the locals Really, but yeah, that was I mean, that was killer that that was one of the gigs. It's saved comedy in the quarantine I really did yeah, and he he showed me he said is like I'm bringing it indoors I'm like you should just keep doing this outdoors. I mean, it's just like one of the best honestly it had

You know it was like you need to play red rock when you're out west We are sure here's what you do dude, and but they did that audience had the feel of a 70s concert film Like they were like they were always like Jesus you guys are fucking into this. It was great Dave had you ever done comedy at Red Rock for like an oddball or something? Yeah, no, I hosted like a band thing and Long-long time ago and I was like this is like an amazing thing for everything but comedy, you know I was gonna say that guy go it's a the an amazing thing for everything but comedy, you know, that's what I was going to say that guy. I go, it's the most amazing thing for bands, but I couldn't see doing comedy.

They're being awesome. It's like too cool. Like the surround, you know, it's like that red lights and all that shit and like, that's where Inkybiz is supposed to play. You're not supposed to still a come joke. It's like, it's like a Greek amphitheater. Like, it's supposed to do some kind of crazy, you know, like speech or something, could you stand on rock sitting on rocks and you're like in front of

them, you know, I felt weird. I just felt weird the whole time. But the cool of it is, is that like, you know, for some reason, like, people party extra hard when they're there because they're like, you know, I don't know. It's like we're at Red Rock and like, I know they did play there, like every couple of months or something. I don't know what they do, but they always eat the starter and it's where they're and I'm always in Denver when that happens. Like the dead are playing and it's funny because like you'll be in a hotel and there'll be like a 60 year old guy dressed like we were talking, you know, and you know, this is like my hundredth concert talking, you know, and you know, this is like my hundred concert, something like, you know, the number is, and you're just like, hey, we all think different things in life, you know. Those guys go, it's like, it's like, I think the average of someone who would call

them stuff at Deadhead is like, hundreds of shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a hundred would be like, you can't even get me to the merch table, I think. Yeah, what, what are you at, DJ DJ? What do you at for Pearl Jam shows? 82. Yeah, you're not even, you're barely a fan. I mean, it's barely a fan. Do you're garbage? That sucks.

I thought you gave a shit. It's not true. It's not true. I can't believe it's not in triple digits. You fucking damn man. You're a Nirvana guy, I guess What are they tore every three years? This is all I could do Dave have you watched any of the the HBO music box documentaries?

No, I haven't seen him yet. The Woodstock one or anything? Oh That was wild that was a that was a crazy documentary. They made a couple of them now They have this one about this guy juice world. I just watched the Atlanta smartest set one was good. Are you watching them all DJ? Yes, every single one I saw are the I didn't see the one about the guy who started disco was that great mr. Saturday night Yeah, that was probably the best one. Oh Really? Yeah, what are these on these are on these are on HBO Max They're on HBO Max, but there's one and you watch the juice world one. Oh, what a piece of shit that I watch it It's juice worlds a rapper quote-unquote. I guess they got Entertainer they got killed

We didn't get killed right he he OD right? That's right, that's right. He must've been. It's just a document, I don't know, like a year or so ago, but he, the music is completely auto-tuned nonsense. The documentary is a bunch of people just saying how great he was, but it's all just dumb people. It seems like the people, it's like interviewing, are always like, yo, he had a next level thing.

And it was just him doing auto-tune stuff and non-stop taking drugs, crushing up pills and doing, it's non-stop, so, and then they're like, and then sadly, he died, you know, let me stop you right there, a die from an OD, like that was coming a mile away. It was just, I don't know if it was more of a celebration of his music or

it was just terrible. It was so bad. I just never felt... I never felt less bad for a person's legacy who passed away. I wouldn't be able to tell you a juice world. Do you have any music, Lou? Well, that's also those documentaries that don't do... when you watch a documentary about someone that doesn't do them any service, we're like, oh, you made me not like this person more and I think that wasn't your intention. What's the song called? Lucid Dreams, this is his hit. That sounds like Post Malone.

Dave, you're a big fan, right? You have all of Juice World songs. Did that, what is that? Scrillex or... No. No. Scrillex actually makes those noises though. Like this guy's just saying words and there's a microphone and production happening around him. I don't understand what was... Are the lyrics that great? I don't know. It just sounds like one note over and over again. And in this, so why does it make it that long? I don't know why. That's what I want to ask HBO Max. Why do they make a documentary about this guy? I want to watch the Atlanta Smart 7 because she,

she was definitely like a road warrior. She toured so hard like through the entire 90s, I guess. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It was just like incredible. Like I remember like all those like just fast outdoor, like all that kind of stuff over and over and over. So it's funny about her. She still looks great, by the way, but what's funny is she doesn't like a mom now.

Like I went like I stopped seeing her ever when she was still kind of like the mousey. Yeah. You know, like a female Jim Morrison kind of like slinking around thing. And now to see her, she's like, just like a mom. She looks completely like a mom, but she looks great. But I mean, like, but it is pretty funny. And she says now that this song is not about Dave Queh, bullshit, bullshit. She said, I was, do you remember that? You ever hear that theory, Dave?

Yeah, I did. Yeah. Is my first thing I've ever said to him. That was always the weird thing of like, well, what then I look at his tour dates and he's playing the same clubs, you know. He's gotten more of a pop all of it. Yeah, the Atlanta's more of that push. I did full of that. You get the Morrison bump.

Yeah, he goes, I did full house them. Atlanta's more said, uh, said I was a the Morrison bump. Yeah, he goes I did full house them a Lannis Morris said I was a piece of shit. So that When's the last time you guys went to like a live show though like when's the last time you went to like a concert now I went to a concert a couple weeks ago with Ari and Katie we went and saw LCD sound system. Okay, and did they check everything, like that kind of thing? Yeah, they checked to make sure everyone was vaccinated and then it was good.

You know, it felt like pre-pandemic kind of. You only saw a couple of people in masks. Yeah, let me tell you something. I, we went to see Genesis live, walking in, thinking, Genesis live for the first time in my life at the garden. If I get COVID for this, I understand. And I left leaving saying, I wouldn't have taken a light hang nail for that horrible horrible show. Horrible, horrible show. How dare he. How dare he suck so bad.

Wow, that's sad. Well, he's very old. He's sitting in a chair the whole time. They don't, they don't, uh, you know, what are you called? They don't promote that at all. You get there and he's sitting in a chair. Not even a stool. They don't pay him enough to stand up. He's like, you have to get up, give him more money. I always want more money. And then he gets up and walks with a cane like off.

When they left, and I saw that they're doing an encore, and I saw him leaving the stage before the encore. I was like, oh, God. Oh, man, it's gonna be 20 minutes to get him back out on the stage. I'm like, let just leave him there. Someone said, throw a blanket over him like that comic. What was that?

All the joke order? All the joke, greater, yes. Just throw the blanket over him. Jesus, I almost sit here and smoke a cigarette under the sheet. Pull it when he want me to sing. His image was pretty good and the coolest. Like, I did that 9-11 benefit. That was Pete Davidson and John Stewart's, you know,

Jerry, yeah, first spotters. And like, honestly, like, the whole, like, system they have there. It's like such an amazing, amazing experience. And then we, because we're backstage, we got to see, like, you know, like, the load in, like, we're like, you know, it's played there. They would like load in, like, you know, 20 RVs, or whatever it was, like the load in, like we're like, you know, it's played there, they would like load in, like, you know, 20 RVs, whatever it was, like, it's crazy.

Imagine in your mind, like all the crazy stuff that went on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a pretty cool place. That's gotta be bad ass. You especially get to see all behind the scenes thing. One time I got to go to the WWE was at Barclays Center, and I had been to the Barclays Center before for concerts and stuff, but I went with Michael Che and since the WWE and SNL have a good relationship, they

sent them like a car and they like drove us in and took an elevator down. It was fucking crazy. That is cool. I never made that. Then you get to see a bunch of men in their underwear, dude. Yeah, dude. I did. And some of them took home the US championship that night, Jay, and two of them were in a

ladder match So watch change tone the pictures with you like you were a make a wish kid. No, they didn't Well, you gave number one fingers number one forever fingers. I was too scared to ask No selfie in the headlock. Come on. Yeah God damn it. Where were you guys when I needed you that afternoon before I went or I could plan my photos? Did we, I don't know if I said this on air or anything or not, but my thing was seeing celebrities on an airplane. Now it's like, if I notice someone the plane starts, I'd rather be on a plane with no

celebrities because when I am, I'm consumed the whole trip with what I have to do or not do to say or I understand them. I was just recently on a flight in Kevin Durant was sitting on a row in front of me. Oh, that's what I mean, man. And you're like, you just don't say nothing. Well, sports is easier for me because if you're not on my team, I can give two fucks about you.

You tell if everyone's masked up though. He was six foot nine and you know, like he looked like Kevin Durant with the man. Oh Kevin Durant I don't know because like he says well Kevin Durant is a zillion Aaron for some reason it looks like a fire broke out on his head. I don't know why his hair is like that. Dude he does he has pesky home alone one head. It's can you bring up a picture of Kevin Durant's hair? If you like right that everyone will there'll be a lot of pictures. It must be

talked about a ton. That is, uh, the hilarious, these guys that stay in basketball so long now like LeBron James and stuff watching their hairlines go back and the ball. And then you get to see one season where their hairline comes back because they got the surgery. Hell yeah. Jay what's the liberty to have you flown with? It's not Jesus. It's a mess that hair, huh? It's um, I flew with Well, you're just with fat Joe. Yeah, that's the awkward one. They're all awkward to me because I was the only one you try to talk You know what I mean? Yeah, uh, fat Joe the Rizzah from Wu Tang clan and Fattjo, the Rizzah from Wu-Teng Clan. And... Oh, there's been like one or two more.

I can't think of what they were. But like, it doesn't, because I've never said anything to them, but I really... Oh no, the lead singer of Anthrax and his wife, but I knew them briefly. So that wasn't a weird introduce. Like, we did the same, like, the same like gigs together before, before so like that wasn't so weird

But the fat Joe yeah the whole flight. I'm like what am I gonna say dude? That Joe's gonna think I rule with what I say And then it just he did not at all And then I ran like I got away from as fast as possible because I felt embarrassed by saying something at all Yeah, and then when I got far away from him, somebody recognized me, which would have been so cool for him to see. Yeah, you're like, you did not at all.

We're really. What's the biggest celebrity you've flown with, Dave? I really, I was in the airport one time, and Mitt Romney was walking to the gate or something like that. I really wanted to be sure with him. I'm gonna have to be here to. That's the way he was all like waving and everything

like that. But I really can't really put my, I don't know the celebrities like you guys do. Like I don't know who to and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, I think I've never, I've never, I've never, I think someone from Babylon five, you know, like when it's cool, it goes or something. He just applied to like LA or Aspen or something. I think I've never had you ever had me Something from Babylon five, you know, like cool. There's something

Why the like LA or a spain or something you have to go to like celebrity places to see this I was when I was the seller the other day and Kevin Hart was on stage upstairs. It was a Che And somebody else just felt like a bit of a little bit of a star studded night And I looked across the room while the band was playing, it was packed and I go, oh shit, and Erica Badoos here and Christine was like, really wearing, I go right over there, you can see her silhouette, I go,

it's definitely, only Erica Badoos has dread, you know, those braids and that, whenever they go all the way down her back and where's that wrap and a big pilgrim hat. That's her look, that's her thing now, right? You see that there? It was not her at all. It was like a closer, it was just a woman that dresses identically to Eric Abadoo.

But I was moving forward with the confidence that it was definitely her. Yeah, where you're like, that's 100% Eric Abadoo. Oh my God, it's another lady that just decided to look like Erica Badu. So would you, if you saw celebrity that you knew, would you like engage with them? Like, you know, hey, would you? No, I think it's too awkward. I would always beat you. I the last celebrity that I approached to say something to was a wrestling manager named Paul

Heyman because we were on two flights together. And I was like, it was just awkward and I felt stupid and I walked away being like, that was it. I shouldn't have done that. You're gonna end up you over life. I gotta go. I just wanna let you know, I think ECW ruled.

Thank you for creating it. We should let Dave go because we gotta take a commercial and then when we come back, we just, we went long. So when we come back we just we went long so when we come back We're gonna have to just end the show anyway. So let's say Dave of course is gonna be at Caroline's the shows of the year at Caroline's yeah, absolutely It's a tradition. It's a holiday tradition. It's gonna be hopefully a safe fun week and Thank you again guys for having me on It's great to connect again with your fans because of the ultimate comedy people

So I hope to see you guys down the road 30th it's the it's the shows of the I really it's my favorite thing in New York comedy is David Yeah, David tell Doc if you're in New York go go check him out at Caroline's December 27th through the 30th and then Dave We'll have to have you back in studio the second we're back to hang out Anyway, Christine. Thank you and guys be safe and I'll hopefully I'll see you guys over the next couple weeks, you know absolutely You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM! you