The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Fighting Richard Gere w/Colin Quinn

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

In part two of Colin Quinn's visit with Bobby, he tells a fantastic story about the time he tried to fight Richard Gere who was hitting on his woman. | Colin is promoting his new project "Buildings" which is an immersive experience with actor Vincent Piazza of Boardwalk Empire fame. | Bob tries to get Colin to perform at Skankfest this year by promising him exclusive perks. | Actor Ryan Reynolds lives near Bobby and Colin devises a plan to accidentally meet him in the neighborhood. | Big Jay calls in to dance and gloat that his 76ers won the series against Bob's poor Celtics. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now back to the bonfire with Big Jay O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. I love this. Whatever. He deserves it this ton. You deserve it. I can't hear the song at all. Jay's singing the song. Here it comes.

Jay is dancing to the song right now. Where's he staying at a hand to me? Here is his favorite part. All right. Everybody, is he on the phone? No. Just put them up to the speaker, Christine. Not to the headphones, you're numskull.

I'm just so you can hear the song. Christine put the phone up to the headphones. Let's say you could hear the song. I can hear the song if not. Congratulations, buddy, on your well-deserved comeback win. History. History making comeback. Well, look, I've been part of history being a Boston fan, so I know what that feels like.

Feels good. It feels real good. It does feel good, right? It's a good week. You deserve it. You deserve it. I'm very happy for you. well this is how I wanted this to go

well how about this the Knicks are going to wipe him in four all right they had a good run you want a piece two how is it how is it I know you're at the Netflix as a joke festival but you're missing out

on the bonfire comedy festival we're doing here all week with me me Voss and Paul, Colin and Paul Verzi. Yeah, and Illinois, and Illinois. Philadelphia, I saw her name. Oh, this is like that concert

they did out in the desert, the old cella. Yeah, this is like when they did the, when Stanhope did the Just for Laugh side fest, the tea party. Yeah. They're like in the car wash. Yeah, nobody, nobody,

everybody's there, you son of a bitch. You're having a good time? Oh, I just landed. I just got to my Airbnb. B, I haven't even unpacked yet. I came outside and called the show so I can do this. Oh, God. Really?

What an ass. That's how important it was for me to be a part of this. Your team choked a 3-1 lead. Oh, fuck off, dude. You're so lucky. Shut up. The percentages were in the teens. But Tatum did get injured, right?

Yeah. Joe, I'm being in the sinusitis surgery a week ago. Oh, that's true. Yeah, but he's recovered. covered from that he got injured more. Tatum got way really bad. Plus a big kind of plays in that

he plays like he's injured. He kind of clumsily throws the ball around you know and bumps into people. So he doesn't need to be. It's about being born to win. Colin you're so right they are going down in four to the next but still. No this is Jay this is Jay's technique. Don't let it do.

This is what he does. He goes he said the same thing. After the Celtics won that game, he's like, well, that's it. It's over. It's done. He got all sad. Supposed to go 4-0. Yep.

And he goes, it's over. It was a good series. He's being polite. This is what he does. This is how the Sixers win by Jay saying they're not going to, they're going to go four. It's a technique. There's a simple reason for this. It's because I can dish it out, and yet I cannot take it.

You can't. You guys have a. great show. I'm going to go unpack. Thanks, Jay. I'm going to go watch. Love you, Colin. Thank you for doing this.

Love you. And I'm sure. I'll text you guys in a few hours when the Sixers probably lose this one tonight. Oh, fuck off. I hope they, just know this. We're going to be playing the Nick song tomorrow if they do. Whatever shitty song that is.

Oh, God. It's great. All right. I love you guys. I love you, too, buddy. Have fun at the other festival. Love you. Have fun at the not.

Fun Festival. Yeah. This is the fun fest. Do you ever see Casino when they're all sitting there? We're having fun. Like Joe Pesci and them, like, we're having fun over here too.

It's one of the greatest ones. So you got this show coming out. Yes. You have another, is it a one, it's not a one minute. No, I'm not in it. I just wrote it. What the, what? I'm not in this.

You're not. I wrote it, no. So what is it? It's immersive theater. Oh, God. Robert. Oh, God. I don't like this call.

I don't know if you would really appreciate what this is. It's not comedy per se, but it is funny. That's a good way to sell it on a comedy show. It's funny. Well, it's different. Why are you not in it? Because I just, I'm done. I'm done hearing my voice.

I can't do it anymore. What's immersive? Well, immersive means. Epcot Center? Yeah, well, I mean, Epcottsin is kind of immersive. Was it all reference, I know. They've updated. They have Universal Park.

But, you know, they have these things now with, like, all these things where you walk in and you're, like, surrounded by, like, even the, even the Friends exhibit. Like, you're in the Friends set. What is that? I don't know what the Friends exhibit is. They're doing some crazy thing on 20 Thursday, I think. I went as soon as it opened. You went? So it's immersive, right?

Like, you're, like, in the, you're in their apartments. And you, like, they have a stick. You poke fat. ugly naked guy with it. It was fun. It was fun. It was funny if you still want to call it it immersive bits.

That's his first immersive bit. You stick a fat pokey guy. That's not a bad idea. So can you, unlike your mantra, can you reveal some of the immersiveness? So it's basically the building of the World Trade Center in the 19, late

60s, early 70s. Okay. So during COVID, I started writing these monologues. And then my friend Vinnie, Lots of an actor. He was lucky Luciano on Borderwick Empire. Who was he?

He was lucky Luciano on Border War Empire. He's on Tulsa King. Okay. Oh, he's the guy who became the boss last season. Oh, I love that guy. Yeah, he's great. He's great. He's fantastic.

You're friends with this guy? Yeah. Like close friends? Yeah, like we talk all the time. Like, he's co-producing. He's the reason we're doing it. Because I was like, yeah, I wrote these monologues. And he's like, no, no, we got to do these.

And he just keeps organizing, putting all these things together. And the other one is your girlfriend, Catherine Narducci. You know I'm in love with her. I know. I'm in, like, that is my, I know. That is my, my jam right there. Yeah. She's great.

And they're both. They're both. I met her. You did? I did Chas' podcast and she was in the house. You go to Chaz's house. That's right. He lives right down the street from me.

Never been asked back. Five minutes away from my house. Never been asked back. Love Chaz. Love Chaz. Great guy. Did his podcast. I felt like I a little, maybe bombed a little bit.

I think I was too excited to do it. Right. I was too... Came in too hot and then Chaz was like, that's not how we do it here. Yeah, I was a little... Yeah, he's a little... Yeah, I should have listened more.

I was a little yappy. Yeah, you're like, I got a school with Chaz. Well, I thought he was going to take me under his wing. Well, you thought it was like a Ryan Reynolds situation. Well, that's going to happen. We've been waiting. You've been there two years. You haven't even run into him.

I've run into him twice. Yeah, because you've done shows with them. I'm... I'm gritting out a... I've met him twice. Yeah, you've met him twice on shows. Hi, Ryan. Did you meet him at the last show?

Dennis Lerick... No, he wasn't there. Dennis Lary could introduce it to him. He must know him from the Michael... I'm not pulling that bullet. I'm not shooting that bullet until I need it. I'm still trying to meet him at the bakery or maybe downtown on a Sunday afternoon.

Why are you laughing? First of all, there's no downtown. That little ketona. Ketona is a beautiful... What are you laughing at? That's a beautiful downtown. It's better than your shitty downtown where you live. You mean...

Downtown Manhattan. Yes. All right. Well, you got a good downtown. The original downtown. In the planet. Yeah. First of all, I think my downtown was before your downtown.

Catona? Yeah. Oh, no. Why? Because you have one stupid sign established in 1787. That's the stupid sign I'm talking about. Yeah. I went to Chaz's house and I hung up, but she was there and I panicked again.

You did? Yeah. Well, because she's, I mean, she's so pretty. Yeah, she should have just said Colin Quinn says, you're the best. And she'd be like, oh, she'll drop my name with her. And she'd drop my name with Ryan. I think Ryan had a newfound respect for me. I'm not dropping your name with Ryan because you bombed in front of him.

No, I bombed in front of him, but then I went on stage and killed. So I bombed one-on-one with him. You bombed personally. Personally, I bombed with him. Which is worse. But it was his fault because it's his fault because I went up to him with the best of intentions. first of all I'm obviously a comedian of some note

and I go to Ryan that movie whatever the Just Friends I go That movie's one of the funniest things And I could see his face like this Like he was already disgusted Thinking about it Like you know these guys do him

Here's the problem with these movie actors They do the movie Then they have their own experience on it It's old hat They do some other stupid movie That they think is amazing Like it somehow resonates With something in them

and then you're trying to tell them about a great movie Just Friends and they're like, oh, that didn't even make money. Ryan, it's not all about making money. Just Friends is a comic masterpiece. It is. Back it up. It's funny. Every line, you're like, this is the funniest thing ever.

Anna Farris? It's the funniest. Chris Klein is hilarious. It's an underrated comic. The mother, the brother? The brother's the best. The whole movie's great. The whole movie is great.

Just Friends is one of the funniest movies. So I start ranting about it. like, yes. Yeah, we shot that up in Canada. Like, basically just going, let me get away from this boring fan. Now, luckily for me, then I went on and killed. I think I redeemed myself after that. He's probably

like, you know what? Maybe the guy's right. And he probably went back and said, you know what, Blake, let's watch Just Friends again tonight. Trust. I think that's what he did. Maybe. It's possible. It's possible. Did you see him after that? Have you seen him since then? No. Yeah. I haven't seen him since. Well, I'm not going to, I'm not going to

bring him up. I'm not going to drop your name of Ryan. I'm not doing it It's just not happening It's a mistake Because no Because then just friends Will come out of my mouth See you just

It's gonna just shoot out of my fucking pie hole Like yeah He was talking about just friends I agree with him I think it's one of your best And then he's gonna walk away And my luck I'll go up and bomb in front of him somewhere

Unfuckabiliable There's you bought You know what you do When he's at the bakery When he's at ordering You pay for it secretly and tell the girl behind the counter to put a little note, this is because I want to be just friends.

Well, I've already thought of this. If he is in front of me, if he is in front of me, it's going to be harder. But if he is behind me, I'm going to be like, look, I'm going to have to say I'm paying for my friends right there. I'm going to have to say friend. He's not going to know I said that. Right.

I'm going to say I'm paying for my friends too. Oh, if he's in front of me, at the last minute I run up and just put my card on the bar. I go, I got it. Dude, I love you. I think you're the best. Oh.

And then I do that. If you do that, I promise you, my, the disgusty felt for me, it'll be ten times worse. If you pay for his stupid muffin or his crumb cake. That's my bakery, L MNOP. I fucking love it. No. I have it all planned out. No.

I sit out front with doodles. I feel like doodles is going to get his attention. Dogs always get somebody's attention. They'll always get, they're going to talk to the dog first, which is fine. I'm going to ignore. him when he talks to the dog first. He's going to come up and oh, well, is she friendly? Oh yeah, absolutely friendly. Friendly's dog ever. You should say she's

friendly and so am I. Don't put these things in my head. Because you don't want to panic and I'll probably wind up saying these stupid things. I'm friendly too. Here's what you do. You order your food if he's behind you and go, he's paying. And walk out. I've never seen anybody famous

in Cotonos so far. Richard gear, you're still up there. Who? Richard gear. Richard gear. I don't want to meet him. Did you ever say about the big dust? The big dust up me and him almost had.

You almost got to a fight with Richard Gear? Oh, yeah. Well, I was, you know, it was about 1982, 83. I just talked to the woman that I was with at the time about it. That's Richard Gear, Richard Gear. That's at the peak of Richard Gear. She should have fucked him. That's peak Richard Gear.

And she was like, oh, he was just trying to get your goat. I was like, well, why was he trying to get my goat? I'm walking by him with this restaurant. and for some reason he was in there with some beautiful girl. She was wearing like a gauze dress. I was so blown away. And then he said, she's just flirting with the girl I was with. And I go, what's your fucking, bro?

I was fucking 22. Fucking asshole. She's like, oh, I go, I fuck you. And then the managers came and I wonder who got kicked out. You got kicked out. You got kicked out. If Richard Gere ever flirted with Dawn, I would let it go down in five seconds. Yeah, I mean, I really did.

I did wrong by her. Yeah, you did. But he's with his girlfriend. It was a little rude for him to do that with his girlfriend. It's Richard Gear at Peak Richard Gear. You're right. I don't deny it. American Gigolo Richard Gear?

Yes, I don't deny it. Come on, dude. I don't deny it. Look at Richard Gear. Yeah. One of the hottest fucking guys ever. So fucking smoking hot. Oh my God.

He's wearing a fucking bullfighter shirt. You know how hot you have to be to wear a ruffled bullfighter shirt? He's like a dreamer. I mean, he's wearing pleaded pants and he's sexy and shit. What the hell? Why would you deny this woman? You probably smoked. You probably smoked back then.

You're real thin. I smoked. I was thin. Yeah, little chicken legs. Yep. But I didn't deny her. I just wanted to fight Richard Geer. Because you're a psychopath.

Because he was starting shit with me. He was not starting shit with. He was disrespecting me by the way he was talking to her like in front of me. And his poor girlfriend. First of all, he was respecting her. by hitting on her. Yes, he was. He was respecting women.

Absolutely, she could have. And here's the other sad part. This girl lived about probably 200 to 300 feet from the fucking restaurant we were in. She could have took him right home. Now she had to take a fucking train back to Brooklyn with old thin legs. Yep. That stinks. What did you do at the end of the night?

Did you at least give her a good night? I don't. Probably not. I probably argued with her and a drunkenly fell asleep. Oh, that's great. That's great. She's just lying there watching American Gigolo of what could have been. Yeah.

That guy is hot as fuck. Look at him in a train. Everything he does was gorgeous. Yeah, he was gorgeous. Yeah. And this is before, right? This was like after American Jake. He's in a movie about fucking banging broads.

And you get pissed off that he's fucking girl. You're selfish piece of shit. You're a selfish man. He was fucking with me. It wasn't fucking with you. He was liking her. Yeah. Was she hot?

Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. There you go. There it is right there. So you're a mercy. I'll tell you. Yeah.

She turned me onto a great song. Love and affection by Joan Armitrating. I hate all your music. You know this. This is the girl's music, not mine. Your music, you send me these songs, and it infuriates me. And I don't know why everybody else thinks it's hilarious, including my wife and Max. Do you remember this song, Joan Albatrading?

No. I wasn't open to persuasion. This is you could actually say this to your buddy, Ryan Reynolds. I'm open to persuasion. I'm not looking for friends, but I'm open to persuasion. This is the kind of deep cut that somebody like Ryan Reynolds would probably like. Joan Armitraining. I don't like what you're doing right now.

She was Tracy. Why? She was Tracy Chapman before Tracy Chapman, 10 years before. Because you're coming up with techniques to move in on my Ryan Reynolds. I mean, my shot is gone. It's gone. I could see his face. He was disgusted.

Yeah. God knows why. You got him back. You got him back, you said. So if he was anyway in the vicinity, there's no way he could deny that. guarantee he didn't see it. God, I killed in front of it. And then they go, oh, that person left like an hour ago.

It's happened to me so many times in the cellar. I remember De Niro. I think De Niro and Pesci were in the crowd with Seinfeld. And as soon as I stepped, they watched the whole show. And as soon as I stepped on stage, as Keith gave me the intro, they got up and left. It's unbelievable. And Keith went, ah, ha. On the mic.

Ah, ha. They left stupid. And De Niro laughed. thought it was funny he went Yeah, he left Oh Yeah, his love of stand-up

Is a little annoying Who he likes? De Niro No, just his general obsession with stand-up Well, he loves stand-up But he's not that funny But he, no

But he's No, he was funny When he was playing like When he played What's his name? Travis Bickle And he played Rupert Pupin Then he's funny

He's like a weirdo He's a funny actor I mean What's the Into Midnight Run? Midnight Run. Fucking great. Hilarious.

Another famous movie that people don't know. Great movie. Great fucking movie. And he was, he's a funny actor, but I wouldn't imagine he'd be, maybe he'd be fun to hang out with. You've met him.

I met him, but I never really hung out except that great bomb story. Yeah, you took a hot one. Now this weekend you had another show that I was waiting to hear, I didn't call you all weekend because you were going to do a therapy show.

No, it wasn't a therapy show. What was it? It was just a show. It was like a benefit type thing. For just some organ, like a goodwill type organization, but it wasn't therapy. Okay. But anyway, yeah, let me tell you something. I get up there and in the first, you know how it is. Because any time you're in a gig that's not a comedy thing, it's 50%.

I don't want any comedian ever say they don't bomb at these things. And I get up there in the first few minutes, I'm kind of just talking about what's going on, I'm doing good. good and I'm like, you know what? I figured this one out. Yeah. And then about... There's always that moment when you get up there where you're like, I figured it out. I know what to do.

Yeah. And then 15 minutes in, I was drowning. You know, when you... You have a dream where you're drowning and just can't stop it. You're just drowning. That's exactly what was happening. I'm a hero, so I don't know about those. Oh, you're right?

I don't know about it. It was like I was falling into a pit. Yeah. And I was just falling and falling and nothing. I couldn't grow up on anything. How much time did you have to do? Forty-five. Holy shitballs.

I did every second of it. Because you got to get that check. Here's when you know, yeah. Here's when you know you didn't do well. Because sometimes you can't really tell. Because you're like, well, there's some laughs. It's a weird setup. The room acoustically is strange.

So, you know, it's rugged down. People are at these tables. Then afterwards, I get off. Here's a, you know, I talk to the guy that ran the sound thing because then I don't have to walk through the crowd yet. So I'm delaying the walk through the crowd by talking a ham for like three minutes. You're hoping they all leave, but they don't because this is where they are for the night. Yeah.

And this guy's probably like, boy, this guy's really cool. He's talking to me for three minutes. I'm chatting to him on this side. You're asking him about, hey, what's that button do? That's an interesting button. Yes. Now, when you got into sound, was that, did you go to college for that? Yeah.

And I'm like, so blah, exactly. You just started being interested in whatever that is. And then I ran out of things to say, and go, all right. Time to take the walk and they walk back. And when you kill, the whole crowd's like, they even give you more applause. They get the pounds and the high-fives, yeah. There's cars like this.

Talking to each other, just... Nobody wants to stink of failure on the line. So you had to walk by a crowd that nobody acknowledges that you're walking by? That's right. Like you were some type of waiter? Like, yeah, like I was just, yeah. The worst is the people that booked you, though. Were they there?

Yeah. How was that? They're like... Your car is outside. And you were alone? Yeah. And you got the car alone? And the first thing the driver said,

this is when you bond with the driver too. You start telling him all, just make lies up. No, they didn't set, like he knows about a gig. They didn't set it up right. No, no. You know, the mic was off.

They didn't have a monitor. You need a monitor. As a comic, you need a fucking monitor. How am I supposed to work on a monitor? He's like, buddy, I don't know monitors. I know airport and hotel Yeah Did you have to stay the night

Or did you go right home No luckily I was staying somewhere else But here's the other part You walk out to wait for the car And half the people That were at the show Or waiting for their car Oh God

You're right in the middle of them Oh you have And there's nothing Nobody said nothing No Nobody even said one guy Did you hear one guy? Did you hear whispers at least?

One, no, one guy said, oh. He knew you ate your dick. He goes, oh. How long did you sympathize with me? How long did you have to sit outside for? It was only about five minutes. Which is in that time, that's like 30 years. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, that sucks. I mean, thank God it happened. Yeah. Because it would have sucked if you were killed, great, awesome. But having a bomb. There's nothing like, did you call somebody that night, or did you just eat it? I just ate it.

I call, I have you and Voss are on my speed dial and Jay. When I take a hot one, I immediately have to call another comic. The thing I hate most is any comic. I never do that bad. It's like, shut up. We all bomb. You know what I mean? There's comics that don't bomb.

Like who? Ryan Hamill. I mean, if he said any other name, I would have argued. But no, actually, Ryan Hamilton actually told me, luckily, a few months ago, he had a rough one, like the one of these gigs. Yeah, at Skankfest. He had a rough one. Ryan Hamilton should not be at Skangfest. He's not.

That was a joke. He would never step foot. Speaking of Skagfest, you're going to come this year? I don't know, maybe. Oh, dude, you. Maybe. I mean, dude, you would love it. it. You'd have such a good time, bro.

No, I wouldn't because you guys... Christine, I tried. I know what you guys are about. What are you talking about? I know what you're all about. And you're the biggest offender of the mall. I am. Yeah. I'm not even... It's the Legion of Skanks. First of all, you... Exactly.

You're not the liaison, so don't even ask me to come. I'll leave that up to you. The liaison is right there. That's fine. But here's my point, Christina. And I'll tell you right now, are you going to tell me that I'm not going to have to five to 15 fucking podcasts

it's all these cocks suckers bring their podcast down there and I'm sick of it and everyone's like oh let's get crazy and they're playing to the audience like ah

everybody comes out fucking music walkout music on podcast it's infuriating to me these fans need to be put in their place this year at Skangfest maybe I'll do that

I'm gonna do an early morning show no fucking cheering no woo's just straight honest, quiet, and occasional laugh or titter. You're going to get what you're used to. Do you want to do... From this last weekend.

Do you want to lecture people from the boxing ring as people walk into the festival? No. He doesn't want to do any of the hijinks. That's... I'm just what... I'm just forming what he wants. Yes. Can I tell you what you do? Can I tell you what you do?

Ready? Sure. We ship your immersive stage to Skangfest. And we do the, we have an exhibit in one of the halls. What is it called again? Marty Growell. No. Building.

Building. We have building the immersive comedy of Colin Quinn in there. That's not a bad idea. Why don't we do that? How much is it going to ship out all the stuff? I don't know. Will Joe Paglio Toney do it? Does he have money?

What's his name? And New Orleans has a big, you know, they have a big Italian section anyway. I said it could probably, you probably know somebody from down there. And here's another thing we do. We do We do We do We do

A thing with Colin Quinn A comedy show In the smaller room In one of the smaller rooms Because it's low ceilings 200 was it 200 people Nice How many people Christine

It can Like three It's a really small room But 300 300 Pack them in I like that We do a comedy show

You're the headliner You can pick who you want on it You do an whole hour You don't have to have 15 people on it But just you do an hour Colin Quinn, 300 people, low ceilings, nice little small venue, and then we do Tough Crowd Reunion, Me, You Voss, Keith Norton, and Nick DePaulo.

We did tough crowd reunion. I know we did, but we do it again. Why do you have to say it like we did it once? I know we fucking did it. Oh my God. We do it again. We do one more fucking back. Listen, dude.

Because here's the problem. Oh, God. We did it once. It was a magic moment. It was. Why ruin it by saying let's do one more? We're not going to ruin it. It's going to be another magic moment.

Why can't we, why you, your shit life into, you only get one magic moment in your life? Why can't we have two or three magic? Why can't we just have fucking magic moments? We have so many shit moments on the road. Let's have more fucking magic moments, man. Let's have some magic moments. By the way, by the way, John Gotti's favorite band.

Yeah. This is Jay and the Americans We open up the show with this song He's played at Gatti Jr.'s winning. The fact that you know that is just nuts. Nuts. Jay Black. So what do you say?

You know why? Because Karami or Mai was like that Italian song. Caramea Mi. I don't know. We'll think about it. All right. I like the idea. I like the way he pitched.

He did a good job pitching. He did a great job. He did a great job. I think we're really proud of where it's at now and you can totally hang and look out the river and nobody will bother you. Nobody will. Oh, they'll bother me.

I know it'll be on every goddamn podcast. I already know. You won't. I already know up here. Hey this. You do whatever you want. We're going to set. That's not the way it works.

We're going to set this up. Ready? We're going to put signs around. Like wanted posters with your face. No podcasts. Quinn, no podcasts. No pod. You are not allowed to ask Colin Quinn to be on any show other than the shows he's on.

That's it. And then we have a super. We have a super secret tent, the Colin Quinn tent that you get to be in, filled with Diet Coke's tea and boobs. We have boobs, but all kinds of boobs, right? Paco's going to be there. He's whatever you want. He's going to be a little gun to din.

And whatever outfit you want him in, we'll put him in an outfit, right? And you'll be in there. And you allow anybody who have security. You don't even have to take pictures with anybody. And then we do those shows. I like taking pictures with people. Okay, then we'll take pictures. Well, all right, relax.

Nice, Christine. So you'll take pictures if you want. We'll have a special picture day. I think this is great. I think it's a very good time. It's definitely impossibility. All right, I love it. It's alive.

Let's put it that way. I'll protect you from other people's ask. It's alive. It's alive. Yes, we'll keep you away from anybody you don't want near you. Well, it's not the people. I just don't want to sit there and do 20 hours of podcasting. You won't do any.

You won't do any. You'll do one. You'll do three shows. We'll have three magic moments. This magic, wait a minute. What are the three? I only heard two. We didn't say anything about radio shows.

We do have a live bonfire. No, no, no, no. I'm kidding. You can do whatever you want. Listen, I know Colin so well. There's certain things I can ask him to do, but I have to look at the last time I asked him to do something to see if there's enough time in between

when I asked him to do something. because if there's not, he'll literally just go, nope, and hang up the phone. Nope. I'm not doing it. I like where we're at. I like we're at. I feel like we're at a good place. We're at a good place.

We're at a good place. You're going to do two festivals, the Bonfire Festival that you're on right now. I'm in right now. We're killing it. It's going swimmingly. It's going very well. It is, I say it's the best fest of the country right now, the Bon Fest. The other one is, like I said, it's too saturated.

There's too much going. You can tell Jay doesn't want to be there. He was calling it. and not just to celebrate the 76s because he wants to be here. He does. Jay does want. He knows the vibe is weird out there.

Yeah, he knows. And he's not, he likes to, he's not good at schmoozing after. You know what I mean? No. And there's going to be a lot of schmoozing at that festival. Behind the backstage is going to be a lot of schmoo. Like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

a lot of those things. Well, that's what we got to get good at. We got to get you good at for the Ryan Reynolds thing. I'm fantastic. I think I got it. I don't think so. And I got, what do you mean? I think.

You be Ryan Reynolds, I'll be me. Ready? You're at the bakery. I'd like six of what are those. Those are very interesting. Yes. Oh, okay. Yeah, we actually have those.

In France, we call them Bonnier, but, you know, in, I mean, in Canada, you know, it's a French influence. Hey, you know what you're really going to try, not to butt in, sorry real quick. Queen Amman's here. They're, first of my favorite dessert. and the best in the country right here, the Queen Amans. I think you're pronouncing that wrong. Queen Amunds? What is that?

Queen Amon. I feel like you're pronouncing it incorrectly. Are you Ryan or you're the cashier? I'm Ryan. Okay, because I didn't know because you did both. I'm sorry. I was going to tell you to shut the fuck up if you were the cashier. But if you're Ryan, I'm going to...

No, no, no. I'm pretty sure it's Queen of Mon. I could be wrong, though. You know what? I'm always wrong. Thanks. I'm always... You know Colin Quinn?

Just the laughs. Just friends was one of my... Just for laughs. Just for laughs. Just for laughs. Have you been to the festival? I just did a festival. It's the Bonfire Festival.

It was me. Everybody's talking about it. Everybody's talking about. Which voice? You must know him. God damn it. I don't have it. I don't have it.

No. I like your original idea. What? His original idea was much deeper. Stand in front of his house. No, you're going to wear some shirt that only he wears from some team. What do you mean? Oh, like a, like a Wrexham shirt.

He owns a soccer. Right. Sorry, football, Jacob. Right. I get it. This is it. That's it. I get a Wrexom shirt.

You said that. You were the one that came up with that lately. I forgot about that. I got a rexom shirt. And I'm going to be Jay right now. Christine, order me a rexom shirt. I'm kidding, though. I get a rexom shirt and I hang out.

How long are I going to hang out for days? I'm going to be the guy in the recsum shirt. You just start wearing it once in a while. Yeah, but I'm going to have to wear it every time I go to the bakery. But you said you were going to jog. You think he goes to some track or something? No, he doesn't do a track. He has property.

Why? Why? Because Ryan Reynolds is going to assume you've been waiting, wearing this thing, hoping to run into him at the bakery so he can see you wearing the shirt. Assume away. That's right. Assume away, Rye. Rye dog. What's up?

What's up? Yeah. I got some fun facts, though. If you do wear a Wrexham jersey, you can be like, you can tell him, dude, so close next year. Because they were, for three years in a row, they promoted that team. so they were almost at the top. So it could seem like you know a little. You think that's going to play?

Hey, you didn't make it again. That's going to play. No, not again. First time. First time. I can't say so close. Maybe next year. He's going to be like...

Waring the Wrexham shirt? No, he's going to be like, fuck. You're right. He's going to get bummed out again. That we didn't win. No, here's what you do. You wear it. You wear the shirt, but you turned around.

So he has to look at you. You're not trying to show him the shirt. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're by the car. Right. You get a hanger. You're trying to get into a car with a hanger.

No, that's not good. I'm trying to break into a Lexus with a hanger. First of all, that doesn't work anymore, you old coot. You can't use a hanger. Nobody has hangers. I know. The only hangers I have is the cut max shit up. All right.

You just, here's what you do. Just turn around. Let's see you scratch on your car. You start playing with it. You have to be turned around. Okay, I'm turned around, but I'm doing what to my car? You're just like trying to just buff out of scratch with it. But you got to be turned around.

And then he's looking at him wherever he is in town. Downtown. Apparently it's hopping all the time. It's fucking hopping. So you're downtown. You just walk out. And then you just kind of, and he'll be like, and then he'll follow you. And he'll be like, wrecks him.

And then you have to know a little bit about them. Do you know? Of course. I love the, they had the series on, I believe it was HBO or Cinemax. They had a series. You don't even know the names of the players. Yeah, I do. Fuddal and

Fidel? Vidal and Sequence And Vlad I don't know the names I'll look the names up, okay? I don't know any of the names

It doesn't matter I know the team I know the show No this is not a way to get in We're gonna have to get in another way How about How about this? How about this?

Yeah I hold a sign up On Sunday Says what It says Rye Dog with the shirt every Sunday I just go there Rye Dog where it becomes a thing

other people start videotaic it becomes viral this guy wants to meet and then he winds up going I gotta go meet this guy he's been out here every Sunday for a year that's truly the most the saddest idea I've ever heard in my life

you know what I'm just gonna break into his house and see what he's doing I mean that's you're doing that's he that's less offensive than what you're doing there It's less intrusive to Brian's life. You're messing up my manifestation by this. I'm trying to manifest this for a long time. You forgot about it until I brought it up.

I don't know who, but you've... Your one end is Leary. Leary probably doesn't get along with him. Why do you think that? He probably high-sticked him when they were playing fucking hockey in one of those stupid leagues. I felt bad.

Larry... Fuck it. I threw Don on the bus. Don kind of manages my stuff, right? So she got an email from Leary for the Firefighters Day. He has the Leary Firefighters benefit and all the stuff. And I got an email, hey, you're invited. You've done it, I think.

You've done it, right? The show he puts on. Yeah. Okay. I've never been asked to do it. I've only been asked to do the Boston Comics come home. And I felt like the Leary Firefighter's thing was more of a pressurface. Okay.

Yeah. That. More prestigious. So you get to do it. I've done it in 25 years, but go ahead, Mr. Victim. I'm choking right now. Has it been 25 years since you did it? Yeah.

Wow. He's literally been on the goddamn boarcomic home for 12 years in a row. So they had this thing, and I couldn't do it. I had a show. But I thought it was at night, but I thought he was asking me to go to it. I didn't want to be a, as a comic, you don't want to be asked to be an audience member. Absolutely not. and then other comics you know and you show up hey what are you doing absolutely and they're like

oh I'm just here to support yes we don't go for that shit yeah we don't support we don't support we don't support is our jokes yes we can mean is we take the mic we like to take we like to sit there like that yeah we do benefits take the mic and also get a check well from the benefit yeah do you take the money from the benefits some of them you do okay if they offer i don't oh whatever it's you people are It doesn't matter. So I turned it down. It wasn't.

It was actually a day. You get to be a firefighter for the day. They take you, I think, to Brooklyn to the firefighter's place. And they dress you as a firefighter. You get to climb the rope. You get to fight fires. You get to go. You do all the stuff training that firefighters do.

And it was a daytime thing where I got to be. And then I look in Adam Ferrar is there. Pete Davison's there. All these famous actresses are there. And I could have been there. And I wasn't. right because fucking dawn read the letter wrong what i think you said you threw dawn under the bus but now you're throwing her under the bus again yeah i am right now yeah i'm throwing out i thought somehow

it wasn't her fault it's not her fault at all i i just didn't i read i fucked up but it's her fault for not telling me exactly what it was yeah it sounds like a fun day for max i mean once you if you're 12 and fucking you want to climb the firefighter pole and press up in the fireman now but yeah fucking grown man whatever dude all right listen

all right we're gonna wrap it up buddy I love you so much Colin has a nice for having me at the festival thank you for being the first

the first comic on the fest this is gonna be big every year we should do the bonfire we should until we get invited to their other no until we

have more followers than a fucking Netflix festival all right let's do that that's gonna take how long I don't know 10 years I won't be here

but well you're gonna be at Skagfest maybe Colin Quinn wrote a new immersive showcased. It's called Building. Building. Building. And it will be produced at the Pioneer Works in Red Hook this summer, July 8th to the 11th. That's it, the 8th to the 11th, with Vinnie Piazia.

Vinnie Piaz, and Catherine Narducci, your girlfriend. Make sure you check that out. Make sure you get tickets for Skank Fest. They're available right now. Guess who's going to be there maybe? Hopefully, doing a couple shows, maybe three shows. Big Jay is going to be in Los Angeles, stories where this. week and then he's going to Austin from Memorial Day

weekend, bigjcomedy.com. You guys are the best. Make sure you go to punchup. Dot Live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. I'm going to be in Cleveland coming up and I'm going down as Alabama and Orleans. All right. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Crackle crackle, everybody.