The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Findoming (feat. Kim Congdon)

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

Kim teaches the gang what "findoming" is all about!

James Franco accused the sexual harassment. If James Franco asked the sexually harassed to get busied, then I better learn how to fucking a ski mask. You know what I mean? This is Big J. O'Crossin, and my new special dog, Belly, live from Skankfest, out now on YouTube.

Scott Fulton, Big J. O'Crossin! And now, the Bond Fire, with Big J. O'Crossin and Robert Kelly. We keep it straight metal over here. And now the bonfire with Big J. O'Cerson and Robert Kelly We keep it straight metal over here. It's 90's nails with wish What albums off of love Before you do the pool intro skim what's what albums that? What? Read it. Ugh. It's going terrible.

You want me to Google it? Christine, what album is this on? Miss Goth over here. Doesn't even know off top of her head. What's with tea? Is this a later song? Christine, please God find out what album it's on. Stop thinking about it.

You're looking at a computer in front of you. He doesn't know, you can just say something. He's gonna be like, that's cool. So I've snake bitten, dude. That's not even a name of a managed nails album. I mean, dude, you don't know that. Stop being so old. Dude, you don't know snake bitten is one of their greatest.

That's when they reprised off the stuff. This house is probably just stopping so old, or a nine inch nails information. Stopping so old dude, why don't you be young and cool and know fun facts. Dude who's broken. That's wish by nine inch nails off of broken everybody. Coming to number seven, speak on the hot countdown.

Seven caller getting tickets this weekend to go see primus over at the Irving Plaza. We got a backup on the West Side Highway right now, coming down to the city of 59th Street. Bobby K over there with traffic weather on the ones. Bobby, what's it looking like out there? Well, it's a little backed up right now. We got one of those little e-cars lost its battery

and locked everybody's right home. But the southbound is clear as day. So enjoy yourself coming down to the East Village, West Village. It's 68 degrees outside and it's heading back down. Sorry folks. That's Bobby Kelly over there in the traffic conference. Thank you Bobby.

Hey, fly safe. But it looks a little foggy out there. It's a little foggy, but you know what? That's going to clear up. That sun's going to burn that off in the morning. And we're going to have a great day. You know what they say? If it's red at skies at night, sailors delight.

Red skies at dawn sail of you on You uncle advice to the end if it's red leave it there It's brown fuck it down That's that's a gay porn gay porn gay porn to everybody buckle up for Thursday's episode Oh, if you want to listen to an episode of radio where you could almost smell what's happening through your radio, then I suggest listening to Thursday's episode. And then listen to Mondays, crystal-clean episode. When we get a talking to.

And then we get a hot Jacob talking to. Jacob's gonna give us a talking to. Nice guy that's rolled up sleeves. No, I thought you described the game porn this time. So it was. It's better that way. Yeah, you don't want to just watch it. You described what's happening. Yeah, we're not filmed. So everything we're not filmed. You're overly described. You can't just we can't just watch gay porn. It's boring for

people. No, you have to describe that it looks like looks like inner ear video. Yeah, and then because they really can't hear it either. I have to go and then it's kind of making this noise. Oh, because they really can't hear it either. I have to go and then it's going to make a nice noise. Oh, disgusting. I can't. I'm fine. Everybody. Faction talk. Series X at one of three big jokers in Robert Kelly hanging out. We have a guest in studio with us all day today. Very, very excited. She's in town all the way from the West Coast and to this bitch podcast. Everybody have a for the hilarious Kimberly Kong. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. What's up everybody?

Keep kidding me. I heard I heard her on Jim and Sam this morning. I was. Making the rounds. Oh yeah. Being very funny. Yeah. It was very funny. What happened? What are they saying? Jim and Sam talking about how many reads that they have. I don't know. Hey real quick. Do you know if they had any reads? Yeah. We're a little white on reads. You know how many go under cover?

At Jim and Sam? Because I will. I'll make it a whole thing It's a gig of skies just like for shits and gigs. What's the read situation over here? You guys got a lot you know many pull some numbers over The Jim and Sam did they talked about The kumi stuff at all did no with me. No, no general. They probably didn't know we they gave me dating advice Oh, no, I don't need. No, they gave me dating advice. Oh, no, I find that. Why do you need dating advice?

Cause I'm single. You're single. That's by choice. Yeah. Well, I'm picky. You're very picky. There's no reason you should be single. I'm picky.

Yeah. You should have a man, a macho man. You know, I know somebody who's single. You do? Mm-hmm. About the change his ways too. Who? Robert Kelly in two weeks.

Yeah, I'm dumping. I can't. About the changes ways too. Who? Robert Kelly in two weeks. Yeah, I'm dumping. I can't. I'm dating her mom. I mean her mom got a thing. Yeah, Bobby and my mom do kind of have a thing too. And their Mick gives mom, but I've heard she's hot. She's hot. She's hot. Crazy. But she's got a vibe. Like what? Like a hot chick vibe. Yeah, she's like- Is your mom flirtatious? Yes. A little bit. Yeah.

Not married. Married. Well, she was when they met. She's not anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. Hey, Don, take a hike with your candles and your electricity horse shit

from last this Thursday that's coming up. If you have a time machine, Bobby got in trouble for leaving a candle burning in the heat on in his shed. In the shed that I built. The man. I bought it. You ordered it. You shipped it. I ordered it from. You had a stronger man bring it over. I had Amish men build it and then other stronger men bring it over. And I said no a little further to my body Bobby holds a coffee in the in a window at the top of his house Why you see 15 amish guys go one two three?

I said they bring in my trigger my protein shit. I have metal buttons Yeah, yeah, it was so funny when we all went to what was it some theme park bush garden bush gardens We went to bush gardens and Florida. That's when I got that I had that joke in my act because I didn't fit in the rollercoaster you remember that I think I blocked it out. We were in the remember the rollercoaster just took a left's Yes, that Thank God you didn't fit in it. I know I did. I did. Oh, we were yes You remember that they they have a so we're sitting there traumatizing and it went click and the guys like I need three clicks I can't start my dude come on just go your embarrassment

Yeah, and he goes I can't and there was like literally like a foot and a half between the bar and max's chest I will say right now that's how great of a father Bobby Kelly is he sucked in those three clicks Well, I actually he was like I got you and they had that girl I think your name was Helen or Helga remember the. Remember the big fat, I mean, he literally went, yo, Helen, and this woman was sitting in the heat. And was she like, Rhino charges towards you with a shoulder until it clicks? She had like a bush garden hammy down polo shirt on

that just wasn't her size. She came over, she just went over to the bottom. Oh, we got another pusher. She went, and then, go, go, go, go, go, fucking three clicks. Just like that. And I couldn't feel my legs. It was like when you change gears on a bike.

Yeah, and then, and then, was her belly button out, not on purpose? The right. Yes. I'm trying to picture Helga. One tip, I remember one tip was small, and the other one was big. I remember like,

what? That's a Helga move for sure? One tip was dead as a teenage girl. Did it make it? And the other one just grew regular. That's before she changed milks. Yeah, drank out of the water and that Russian fucking farm she lived in.

But then they started the road. Every ride needs a Helga. And it took, it only took left, but sharp left. Hard left, high in the air. And I'm on the right side So the thing would just tip Like a don kept looking back like is everything okay? It didn't feel good. There's no

Another like fat person has to think about it any kind of carnival. I've gone to with my daughter particularly or Christine and any kind of amusement park is, I'll ask this to, I go, what side is the side that eats the shit? Do you know what I mean? There's always somebody, always each shit. I did the Spinny T-Cops, and I almost killed Max this last summer when I was big, because I was on the wrong side,

and the physics was against Max, and I was just smushing him. And he was going, Dan, Dan. Like, when I get on, when I've gotten on the wrong side. When I've gotten on the wrong side of a scrambler, you know that one? Oh, it's not a good place to be on the wrong side of a scrambler. I've never, no, but I consider the right side

is when I'm eating the shit. Like let the people hit me because I'm like, I'm big. I'll like, I'd rather have that. Being the person squishing someone is the worst. So I've never, I'll tell the shit, let the people hit me because I'm like I'm big, I'll like, I'd rather have that. Being the person squishing someone is the worst. So I've never, I'll tell you what, if I ever do a photo shoot, the best time would be after I've done a scrambler on the wrong side.

Here pops. I mean, I am vascular like Stallone and Rocky III. I mean, my arms are because I've done everything to not murder my daughter in a- The next three days you can't drink coffee though, because your arms are just fucking like this. You just did arms. You just did pee in the shower? I've done everything to not murder my daughter and I the next three days you can't drink coffee though It's dead arms it's a pee in the shower It's the worst feeling you realize that you're like and starts moving and you go fuck yep on the wrong side Yep, yeah, I wasn't great and then that night you had a show do you remember what happened?

I've told you this again before yeah that night you had a show and my parents, my mom and my stepdad, after we all had hung out all day, they said goodbye. They're like, goodbye, we can't stay for the show. And then they said goodbye to everyone. And then after Bobby got on stage, they're like, you know what? We'll just watch Bobby. So he got on stage and not thinking that they were there anymore. Shit. Yeah. And he was like, today I went to Bush gardens with this late with this family with Kim's mom Oh, cuz I opened and he said and their mom's got big honkers Yeah, and my if that just just seething I think he was like he was trying to Well, they're not together anymore. Yeah, you broke up my parents I don't have parents because you

Hey, that's not your dad. That's how you dad He's gone now dad. That's not your dad. All right, this guy, at least he's, please tell me what the guy, he's, he's gone now. Now that he's gone, he's, I mean, he did. Do the former step, parents, so great to bag on. She did not, he did not belong to your mom. It was a fucking odd couple.

When he showed up, like, it's an odd couple. Yeah, he looked like the Uber driver that the driver's hot mom to the club. Was he docile in your mom's wild? Is that anything? Yeah, he has a girlfriend now and she's really chill and he's actually the nicest and happiest ever he's like a Tampa guy he's like a completely changed guy yeah he's like in a band and like but not as

successful yeah it's like barbed yeah no he's not on jovy but he's like he's like Tampa band guys yeah yeah probably we all can't be friends with bond jovy yeah are you friends with Bon Jovi? Her mom deserves better. Is all I'm saying. Your mom should be fucking Bon Jovi. Oh, me. For Bobby, yeah.

Bon Jovi or Bobby, the two choices. Well, have you seen Bob Jovi lately? Bob Jovi. I'm Bob Jovi. John Bob Jovi. And John Bob Jovi. And her mom is, is she's very pretty short here too. I love her. I love short hair. I love short hair. Yeah. She's short hair. Your mom's super poor, are you can eat? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Very poor, are you can eat? Yeah. Very poor, are you can eat? Yeah. She speaks Spanish. No, not really. A little bit.

Her sister is smoking. Her whole family. My sisters are really pretty. I mean, ridiculously pretty. Yeah. I mean, hot. In my arms, they all look really good. I went back home.

I saw them for the first time in like nine years. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I mean, redaculously pretty. I mean, hot. In my aunts, they all look really good. I went back home. I saw them for the first time in like nine years and they're like in their 50s. And I was like, their boobs are nice. They were in bathing suit.

They look better than me. I was like, this is insane. Yeah, if I was somebody, I'd lock her down because she's gonna last. Yeah, well Kim's also hot, but comes from a family of hot. So that's the end of what someone like Lewis. I mean, I love hot, but comes from a family of hot. So that's how you end up with someone like Lewis. I mean, I love Don, but yeah. I see them everywhere.

You really don't feel as hot when you're just from a lot of hot. I guess I'll just go with this guy. He seems to have a big personality. There's it is. Penis is four different colors. I just had a clock like a rocket pop. Yeah, it really does look like Italian ice cream. You've seen it before too.

Yeah, I said I used to describe it on stage is a color that's on that it's like a it's like when dry dirt gets wet But it fades into one. There's like an ashy part He's got a doby dick. He's got Mexican house dick It's a horror literally. It look it doesn't look irritated But it appears to be the color of irritation. It looks like Lewis's personality. It looks like how Lewis feels when he misses a cat. It looks angry and disappointed at once. He has the same dick color as a fat girl's elbow. Yes, it's right. He's got morbidly obese inner thigh dick.

Yes, yes, it's right. He's got morbidly obese inner thigh dick It's like that it's like a sunburst you guys brought me back. Thank you Sorry, trip down memory lane. I'm really memory lane there with the Lewis's weenus. Oh, try color cock go mess It's good doggy I don't have one color dick. I've never he's the only person in my life who I think it's hilarious that he does this, but whenever he wants to take a shot at his own dick for not being big, he just lumps me into it. Yeah. A hundred percent of the time he goes,

look, when you don't have a big dick like me or Jay, it's always just throws in there. I'm like, buddy, I hate that self-deprecating enough. You don't ever really seem like dick, really. I've seen his dick so the funniest time up So seeing Lewis's dick the funniest one to me ever was um We weren't Montreal Me him and Justin sharing hotel rooms

First of all this story Okay, he took he told her he's 100% of course. He told it on my podcast and he skimmed over this part like we were just gonna Jay was in the bathroom correct. Yes, she know that's okay this same story good. Well, there's first I Can give you the whole lead up to what got us there even before that part happens because it was a wacky day That was when Lewis had to buy a flight because he had to get an expedited passport That makes sense so he can go to think So he got there before me and Justin drove. Drama. Dude, did I need a passport?

Do you get out of the US? Me and Justin drove there. I thought I already sent in the form. I'm a American. We're better than them. What do we, it's a commonwealth. Puerto Rico is a commonwealth. You didn't know that.

So he flew up. He got there way before us. He's at the hotel. When me and Justin get there several hours later, we pull up. He's outside to meet us. He's already told us that he's met UFC fighter Joe Daddy Stevenson. He's found out where to get weed. He's got a weed pipe now and all this fun stuff. And I'm like, great, we go up to the room and I go, I'm gonna open my bag here and take it. And it goes, oh yeah, Lewis, go, I should empty my bag too. And he flips his book bag out and puts completely,

I mean, moldy smelling wet clothes all over the bed. Okay. Now, why that's the case is because this one of the people from the corner corner from me because he was flying he asked Carla on her way to work in the morning if he could drop or she could drop him off at the airport. She said sure she went there to pick him up at the time that he had to go. He's not outside. He's like ladies run on ladies. Yeah, of course, this is literally

making my heart race. Of course, you of course, I had him open for me for three years I lived with them. Well, here's this here's this of course to his home fucking serious carless outside waiting for him So like hey Lewis I'm outside. He's yelling at her like like I guess I was So I guess what happened was he put his clothes in the washer and either fell asleep at night Or he put it in the dryer and didn't dry it enough whatever it was his clothes in the washer and either fell asleep at night or he put it in the dryer and didn't dry it enough. Whatever it was, his clothes were wet. He didn't have time to dry him. He just threw them on the bag. Now me, I landed Montreal in the same circumstance. God forbid. First, I don't even know if I check into the

hotel before I go on my first things first, I have to go to Galon, Dramat. Every hotel has a washer and dryer in it. Not everyone. I'm just either one. 93% of the hotels have a washer and dryer. 64%. That's better. I'll take that one. I'll take that one. We're getting there.

44% of the hotels have one. It'll less than half of the hotels, yes. That's better. Now we're playing. So he was there for hours and didn't do that and put his Moldy stuff all out in the face and he has to hang it outside like we're in 1920s Brooklyn. Yeah, it's like the godfather And so then yeah, I go to the bathroom and I'm taking a shit and

Unbeknownst to me do you know this at all? No, it's the fucking this story disturbed me so bad. So they go They think the funny thing would be they go. Yo, while J's there when Jay comes out of the bathroom. Let's both be lying in a bed naked Okay, okay, and then I don't know which one of them I won't put this on Lewis if it's not I don't know could be him or Justin Yeah, this is Justin Silver.'t, it could be him or Justin. It was one of the best. It was definitely Justin. This is Justin Silver. Yeah, it was 100% Justin. Were you, was it not making sense until you realized it was just a show?

Yeah, I thought it was Dave and I was like, mm, now that it's Justin, I was like, okay. Justin Silver, no Dave, this is not Dave's game. No, it doesn't seem like it. Justin Silver went, hey, we should get naked. I'm telling you one of the most. We should jerk each other off and see what Jay thinks. Wait, wait, wait, wait, don't bury the lead.

Don't know how to do that. Don't worry. Well, let me tell you this, how much Dave doesn't play this. I remember I said joke one time when he would stay with me. I buried the leads with Justin wanted to do the lead. This is going to bury that lead. He wanted to bury that lead ball's deep. I remember one time I had Dave walk into a room and I've been over so my ass hole and balls

were just there and he gave it such like he was like oh okay man I was like oh I think you're gonna laugh more you have to like shame that you felt like you molested up that's he feel like you're like oh he's you molested date he's like he's not funny he felt like a dolly llama you have to go apologize he just didn't think it was that funny so having someone find that out so much I love that you still think it was that funny. So having someone find that out. So much fun. I love that you still think it's him. That's the funniest thing. Oh no, it's me.

But buddy, I've watched that happen the other direction, by the way. Another fast one, me, Karim Green, and Joe D'Arosa, odd, Thrupple, on the road together again, sharing a hotel room. Joe comes out of the shower with his towel, drops his towel, to just be naked in the room like with his muppet body.

Sure. And I'm laughing. Karim's already not laughing. And then Joe bends over and spreads his butt cheeks and tries to fart and instead shoots a little shit out of his ass. That's actually hilarious. Karim Green was not into it.

Yeah, nobody's into that. He was not, that was an awkward ride home, dude. Dude, that is so funny. He did not. Karim Green was like, my man. Nope. No, but Joe was like, oh, come on. They just argued the whole thing. You can't, oh, come on, sharding up.

You're like, that's not like an oh, come on, situation. You shouldn't. Yeah, you certainly shouldn't do that. Oh, come on, dude, we're all playing around. It's like there's shit on the floor. But then you go up. Do you get to pick it up? And it around like there's shit on the floor Do you get a pick it up and it's like dark shit in the grass? But it's not you pull it through hair Disgusting yeah, it was that was rough, but then so when I'm in the bathroom we're back in Montreal

Sure back in Montreal with Jay Justin Silva and Louis Jay Gomez Doos Jay Gomez just said make it on the bed. We should get naked on the bed so when Jay walks out we're naked. It's funny, funny gag. Yeah, that's funny if you're gay. Somebody suggests, somebody suggests, you know what makes this funnier?

We should have boners. That's Louis. Full boners. That's, yeah, it's funny how you can really, I can hear their voices. It's very competitive. Yeah, I wanna see who's dead his bag Is this hell the first time gay stuff always starts because you know it'd be funny if we just like

Both the heart teach other offers Nothing like if we both and out each other's dick taste like would be crazy So they're gonna get boners they say so they sit there on a bed next to each other while I'm in the other room Unaware of any of this no, please don't masturbate it. No To get themselves hard. No, I can't believe you. Master baiting. No. To get themselves hard. No, I can't believe you're, are you, do you have this, has this been told on in air before?

I'm gonna say this, he told it on my podcast. But he told this part of it, that wasn't the part he was talking about. He was like, and then Jay was taking his shit, and he's gonna come out, well, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What did you just say?

Like, he skipped over. Yeah. He wanted to skip, yeah, like, he thought that was like a not like Not will like you would jerking off with just yeah Yeah, but just joking around to get Jay. Let me finish the story We're like the stories finished like in the eyes of the Lord The eyes of the church it's over story's done. You're queer Your game so just an ab said, they both work up boners.

Oh, man. And I'm in the bathroom long enough that I think they're boners going. That's true. I remember. What's what? The sound of your head. He recorded it. Ew, who's is it?

Justin. Justin's just in tugging. That is what it sounded like while you were in the shower. So, why come out of the bathroom? They were in there, they were doing this for so long. And I was in the bathroom so long that they got soft again. Oh, they edged. And then because when I walked out, I don't know if they were fully harmed.

They said they had boners at one point. I walked out of the bathroom and looked by and I gave them, I was the wrong audience for it, because it's not crazy enough to me for me to do anything other than like, I was just like, ah, you fucking weirdos. And then I went out on the balcony and smoked a cigarette. You just walked right by them. It was, I didn't stop moving.

They were just hard with their boners. They're like, well, we got to finish. They spent 20 minutes in a bed naked together, masterbiting. They can. A hundred percent one of them can. A hundred percent. That's why they both weren't hard anymore. Yeah.

They were winding now. 86% both of them can. Ah, ah, ah, ah. That's a higher percentage than a laundry room, some hotels. Dude, listen to me. In a million years, if I was with friend of mine with my friend When you would take his shit, whatever go do you know be funny in a million years that would never come to my brain And we should yeah, we should masturbate. Yeah, before they come out

I think my lines my lines on these kind of things are pretty soft, but That's one I'm not like I wouldn't do that one at all. At all. I took gum at a more Justin's weiner like ways on his ball. Why don't we Justin? Because he's hot convincing you guys. I mean, if you give me something gay with one of our friends, who's the one you're gonna pick? You're gonna do it with me? You're gonna have Dave split me in half. Yeah, like that. You know, Shane Gillis is fucking weird retarded penis. Shane comes offensive line, an aggression on my asshole.

No, thank you. Is that what you call Shane Gillis' face? There's one nut that's just huge and red. Retarded penis. But yeah, I've done like plenty of this up of that was weird. And again, I felt bad was they were, I didn't realize when I came out of the bathroom, I just thought this was like, they're like, oh, he just like, you were, I didn't realize, when I came out of the bathroom, I just thought this was like,

they're like, oh, he just like, you know, the water's off or whatever it is, like he's coming out. And they did it. It was 20 minutes of like, staying naked together in a bed. It's, it's so, probably conversations. Yeah, you really, yeah. This is, this is, this is, these are, he told it probably conversations

Probably conversations happened that had nothing to do with that anymore. I bet no conversations have it But I suppose they were dick sounds like did you really meet Joe daddy Steven's and he goes yeah, it's right there in the smoke shots I bet there was just I fluttering back Do you remember when I first started dating the list the story about when we were trying to get into the city for the first time and how traumatic it was for me No, it was my first visit ever Seelow is like after we were talking and He was like so Like behind on everything on his schedule that he had like starved me all day I was like fucking you when you eat

when you're Yeah, he's like we gotta go We'll get something there and then we got there He's like we're on it or now we got to be professional We got a fistful of sunflower seeds like a goat Yeah, he threw me like a slim gym Here's green And then we were also on penny boards traveling

So because I could skate he's was like, you could skate right? And I was like, yeah, and he's like, I got you a Pennyboard. I'd never even been in the yard. He was so lucky. He's so lucky you weren't having been around any kind of money at this point of your life. And whatever your self-esteem issues are

because you are far too pretty to be on a Pennyboard with some shit head from Harlem. Yeah, no. Yeah, I know. It's a try-cull-ed orphan clock from Harlem. Try-cull-ed or-cull-ed. Who is this dicks-a-color of organic carrots? The Trader Joe's carrots?

The fancy potatoes. Those are my favorites. Yeah, yeah. Super-different color carrots. Organic Trader Joe's carrots. Yeah. Yeah, the Michelin Star Deck. Carrot, Carrot Deck.

Yeah, dude. And then we were on Pennyboards, but I'd never been in New York, so I wasn't used to the traffic where I didn't even, I would only use crosswalks, like I didn't J-walk or anything. And he was like going through semis and like it ducking, it was like a Disney movie that he was going through. And I was like the goofy sidekick, like almost getting ran over. I can't believe I even made it. Keep up it yet. Yeah, and then we're getting to the straight train station.

We go in, he's like, oh, we went the wrong side. We'll have three minutes. And we run over to the other side. I'm like sweating. I've got this skateboard. I'm like hungry. I'm like, I think I could maybe work through this. I kind of like him.

Then we get there and we're waiting for the train. And I'm like sweating and he's like, I'm going to run upstairs and get, oh no, he's like, run upstairs. I'll wait for the train. I'll hold the doors open. Run upstairs and get his sneakers. For an ice, Snickers ice cream.

You know the deli thing. So he gave me cash. He made you run out. He came down and he's like, the deli thing. So he gave me cash. He made you run out. You come down, he's like, ah, Kim, jump on. He's telling it's a mold. Shut up bitch.

I'm a new girl. I'm also so hungry that I'm like, this is the best idea he's had all day. Thank God. Are those cold snickers? They caught. It sounded so hot. You're so hot. Yeah, and then so I know it was just not even ice cream. There's the snickers, but he's like, run up and get me a snickers. They caught it. It's so hot. Yeah, and then so I know it was just not even ice cream.

He was the Snickers boy. He's like run up and get me a Snickers. So I run it by bias Snickers. I come down and I give to him. He's like, it's not cold. That's what he said. So then he went up and started yelling. He's like, all my skateboard came. Stop the train. He's like, so fucking That's the trend you said. What the fuck? That's like so fucking, anxious, and then we just showed up and did a podcast. You know what?

It's why I did think you kids were gonna work out. And I'll say that is because like that was it, that's the most Lewis have shown of what you're gonna get to an early like hang with a girl you're ever gonna see. Oh. Did I mean like I usually see him be where it's like, what do you do? So he's wearing a sweater for no reason all of a sudden.

I'm not kidding. He was like I started knitting last week. He was like why? Grab on the back of this city bus with me. I remember after we broke up, I saw him one time and he was wearing Jordans and I was like, are you dating another Spanish girl? And he was like, yeah.

I don't know. It was his trust by his girlfriend. He does. You can always tell the ethnicity of the girl he's dating. He's wearing new balance right now. He's wearing ski gear right now. Oh, he's wearing, he's got multi-colored shoes now. He's got shoes like that match outfits is really hilarious. But he's still Puerto Rican, so none of them match the Alphady's currently wearing.

It's like foreign shirt. Well, that's what I like about him. He'll always be, he stays true to himself. Yeah. The shirt he was wearing yesterday was laughably ridiculous. Well, it was perfect, because we all, I mean, we had, we went to work on this shirt. Well, full, full shirt picture.

Like back of the shirts, all one thing, it's like mountains with like a sunset. It was the material with some sort of like, I don't know, it's like what baseball players whether the uniforms or something. Fire retarded? Yes, I said fire retardants, what I believed it was to be, yeah, for sure.

Definitely rain skids right off it. It doesn't get wet. You get it at a gas station. It looked like that, right? It was crazy. No, it looked like the towel they give you at the car wash. You know, the yellow one, it was like that material. It was crazy.

Yeah, chammy. It was made of chammy. Chamois, no. Yeah. But he said super expensive and stylish. Oh, he said, yeah, he's got to let you know. Yeah, he said that. Yeah, that's true. To him, it is. Yeah. But I don't know what style he, he's got to let you know. Yeah, he said that. Yeah, that's true.

To him, it is. Yeah. But I don't know what style you've been he said to company. It was a company that gave it to him for free. But he's like, it was like a $300 t-shirt. That's crazy. Do you remember you used to use the internet,

like social media as like an assistant? What do you mean? He would be like, hey man, I need to run to the airport at seven. I'll give you some. I was always actually jealous of that. That I need to ride the airport at seven. I'll give you. I was always actually jealous of that. That seems nice to just put out a thing. That's not because you have stories like that that he gets in the car.

He has people for outlandish shit. Go back, looking for a ride from LAX to Sacramento. Anybody cool? It's crazy. And they'll be like, he's like, yeah, sat in the car for eight hours. This guy goes, most of it was him talking about Moments from every single episode of Lie just gangster Anybody have a helicopter they could take me to the Grand Canyon. I want to take James in the Grand Canyon

Yeah, I mean he Yeah, he did he set it up for Dave one time and Dave's fell apart Dave's the whole thing fell apart guy drove I'm they got pulled over. It was like a deal. Like, get pulled over with guys. Like, you don't even know is even weirder. Do you know what I mean? Like, what? I could never farm out like.

Farm out. Like, farm out. I mean, I listen, I get if you're like, hey, I need help with like a graphic. Makes sense to me. Not like, hey, your mom cool if I crash her place for a couple days. God bless her. God bless her.

And Parker. And like, dude. Oh, God bless that kid. He was manned at Justin. It's one of the original Lewis impressions ever. I always give Justin silver credit for that. It was after that story when we went to Montreal with the wet clothes. And Lewis, when he was just started dating Beatrice, his kid's mom, and he was like,

I'm gonna go meet Beatrice's family. And whenever we were like, oh, dude, really? He's like, yeah, I'm gonna miss you gonna meet her family and Justin goes, oh, that'll go great. And he goes, hello, Mr. B, Mrs. B. Can I use yours guys as dryer? Hi, that impression may lose so upset,

but it really made me laugh hard. It was Justin Silver that did it. Yeah, he's the only, Justin's more of the original guys that did the Lewis impression. Oh, Justin's still training dogs. Yeah, he's the saleser. He's training more. Successful dog business. Really? And he's still hot. No, he's always hot. And he's

always cool. Yeah, he's the he's our Tony Danzer of comedy. Yeah, that body, that body in 47 years old. Is he 47? No, he's not. We could say it like that for he's not 47. 46 or 47. I think 47. He's not 47. What's wrong with 47? There's nothing wrong with what you just doesn't look for the seven what like early thirty how old do i look what's like the before christ thing that's bc dot com of your board to a day

after i believe after christ you look like you ate a lot of Mata. You look, I don't know because you look after, what? You look after 40. After 40? I'll take after 40. So after that, it's kind of a blur to me. After 40. How old are you? 32. 32. I don't know. I think you're still in your 20s for some reason Because I look good. Yeah, could you hold together? Cuz you pennyboard around the city. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, dude the stress I do think stress keeps you young. That's what they say Think you live in LA, right? Yeah, and you but you lived in New York only when you were with Lewis

Mm-hmm, and you're not coming back to New York. Mm-hmm. You're done. You love LA. I, like New York is the best when it comes to comics and comedy. Sure. But I fucking hate the city. Why?

I don't. Should we get Jacob's with you? I don't like the germs. Pretty good. The germs are like a really huge problem for me. And just getting around sucks. And there's so much of that both of those I didn't know you were you're a germ. Yeah, I don't like germs. Jacob nobody does. No, but I like really don't it freaks out

Yeah, yeah, another lifetime you come firm to OCD another lifetime Jacob you and Kim may have been soulmates But Jacob he's got all the CDs But what you view on door handles what what you view on door. Oh, I don't I don't touch them with if I have to I'll do it with my sleeve But then I'll have I'll can like feel it on there the whole day Jacob you picked the wrong days were thin khaki's buddy. We're gonna see your owner a second Jacob also you know I'll do a post it on the door handle if I have to. I'm not, I'm not, I'm just like a, you know, it comes from Florida.

Also, your favorite. This is nuts. This is nuts. Jacob, Jacob's happy place is Florida. Yeah, Florida's one of the best places in the world. The second we are off the air and have any sort of like, a week off, Jacob is right to the airport. I have a theory that the Florida man thing is made up

to keep people out of it, because it's like a hidden paradise. Literally. He loves it. Yeah, it's the best. I would move to Florida in a second. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know our thing, Bobby. I swear. Oh, now you want to move to Florida in a second. I have no intention Florida. Yeah, what's up? Suddenly he loves Florida. Jacob, I don you want to move to Florida in a second. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. hamster for his house. A very old North North North North all of a sudden today is Florida. My dream is this. My dream is to North in the summer and South in the winter. Yeah. Yeah. And west I like tap. I don't like the other side. We can get summer.

North in the summer and South. So you'll always want it kind of cold. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We can go down. We can go down the summer. The North and the hamster run the summer is hot.

You got an 80 degree. Yeah, you got to, that's what you need. I'm like the most comfortable when it's like 85. Yeah, because you've put a recon. I'm Irish Italian. Yeah, okay. I don't want to be, I don't have a sweaty brow. I went to Austin and got a poof one day and burned my back up terribly.

I'm not good with the sun. I love it. I'm an old Jew. Yeah, I'm great with the sun, but Dawn now has become a stupid not just skin cancer. She's like such a bitch about it. No, she's the fucking sunblock Nazi now. Me and Max, we just walking out looking like fucking assholes. Glistening. We look like powder. With a sheen. With a sheen on you. Yeah, it's just our face is a whiter than the rest of our body.

She doesn't want it. I get it, but it's like, fuck off. I'm 52. How's this sound? 40 over 40. Jacob and Kimmy's fanboat Everglade tours. Jacob, do you hold your breath when people walk by you because you're scared the germs from the air behind them?

We'll get in your mouth. I'll do that if somebody's coughing right in front of me. Yeah, I hold my hold my breath. I do. Oh no, that's serious. I do that. If people walk by me, I usually hold my breath because then there's like that after air. That's why you hate New York. You're holding your breath the whole day. Yeah. Yeah. Pass out a lot. Kim's down again. Must have been walking. Must've been a lot of people walking. The cops have just got up. Kim is dead. I've trained myself to hold my breath the entire elevator right up if there's people in. And I can pee holding my breath.

Oh yeah, I hold my breath on the bathroom too. You hold your breath on the bathroom? I try too. For what? Because I feel like the germs from the poop is gonna get in my system. It is. But you. That's hot of a second. That's actually true. That's so fucking nasty. Yeah, I don't like that. for what because I feel like the germs from the poop is gonna get in my system It is but you

That's actually true. That's so fucking nasty. Yeah, I don't like that. But Louis J. Gomez raw dog to you Okay, bad all ads. It's all a spectrum Because I said Jacob says same thing though when it comes to sexual stuff You gotta let it out somewhere, but all that goes out. He said he doesn't overthink that at all That's how she got this way though dating him She would try to still not clean I showered until I was red trying to scrub off memories Still dirty. Yeah, carrot dick scared the shit out of me. Yeah

Um, I want to see if crit steens he could find these things that dams tell me about soda So about the fin-domming we talked about what I tell you about my name. I've been in this what I tell you I'm a fin-dom No, I'm talking about casually. Yeah, Jay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a casual fin-dom. You don't mention it Yeah, why some fucking asshole cuz cuz he left the show in a bad way He cursed out Jacob you keep DJ loo in the nuts of a film dumb now soda before he left the show He ripped loose armpits of all of his shirts. Yeah, slap you slap blue. He slept late. Whoa And he said I would have done that if you were white too because you wanted to be racial one thing about the end soar Not race. Yeah, then he would have a temper about it. Yes, the guys a hothead brought saying this thing though

Equality across the board Oh before we get some fin-domming, look it up on a... This popped up and I had to show you, I believe you have to have this in your wardrobe. What is that? What was it saying? World Star hoodie. Oh, that's great. Every morning, I see that.

Oh, does it? Oh, it knows, yeah. No, no, no, it's when you go on where I'll start hip-hop.com, you have to exit out before you can watch any of the videos. Always. They're moving that way. No, that was a sweet thing that Christine was doing. I mean it you know Why don't you know what I look at when I take a shit? Oh, you're right. You're right You're right. I said out there. Christine always waits outside the door

Hoping that Justin and Lewis are gonna get naked in front of her I'd say what justing a probably convinced Christine to get naked and joke off on a bed while I'm in the shitter I just love they had no idea how long you're going to be in there. 20 minutes. They never gave up. It's a thing. That's great. They know you're a shitting or do you think you're a pig?

Shooting. They knew you were shitting. Yeah. You don't play that game with someone's taking a shit. This might be back. This might be back at like a T-mobile watchman called the story. The story is so gay. I feel like we shouldn't have told it.

That's how bad it is We we outed them. Yeah, I feel like it's been out there Stories been out there. No, it's been out there. I think yeah, the way you guys said it. It's been out there But yeah, but you're right. Probably should never told it ever But now that it's out there. What are you gonna do a couple of guys wack it off with a bed next to each other? It must live on shit and giggles. Yeah, that helps us out when they call us homophobic. You know what I mean? That's are we though? Are we always more than we're doing?

Because now we're my friends completely hard and masterbiting when I walked out of the bathroom. He didn't shake my day at all. I went outside and had a Marbur ultra light silver. That's so funny. Okay, so. Wait, you said fin-domming? Well, yeah.

Are you doing, are you guys? No, but are you doing actual, because fin-domming for what I'm understanding is no, so you, I know you had the thing, you tell the joke with the guy, why don't you make fun of his dick and stuff. That's different. Yeah, I guess that's different. That's a big thing, that is different.

Fin-domming is, basically. What is pay-pigging? What is pay-pigging? It's like calling men pigs and then they pay you. And I know there are some men out there that are pay pigs and I'm a professional comedian. I would never do that. But if you pick me up, if you got money and you want me to yell at your dick. Is there a pig pay picking? Pig pay picking? Yeah, can I do it? Pig, pay, pig. Pig, pay, pig, yeah.

Can I do this? Yeah. Maybe. Is anybody into a pig? You're the first pig, pay, pig. A pig, pay, pig. It's like a picture and picture and picture and picture. But Finn Domingue is, what's it go?

Finn Han says she does it with a guy that she just like hits up. There's a guy who just wants her to go like, give me $20 as asshole. Oh yeah, no, I do that too. Yeah. Yeah. I'm one of those. But you don't do. I'm a sex worker, I guess. But you don't. But you don't. You know, but you're something I'm funny, right? But you don't have to do even like making fun of their Dixray. It's just they want to be told to give you money. Yeah. Yeah. But those guys, they can't

last forever. But we only have so much money. wait a minute. So where do you do this on on what Instagram? So you go to Instagram and a guy's gonna send you money some dude Just message me and we'll say will you be mean to me? I'll send you money and I go sure you fucking loser And then I'll get 20 bucks and I'm like wow your mother never loved you 20 bucks Like just like shit like that. It's like you're so ugly, you probably have the smallest dick. Someone's jacking off to this for free right now and I need them to Venmo me for this. This is what I'm talking about.

Kim Kong does. That's $60 worth of fucking pig. What does it cost? Yeah. Pig. Piggy bank money. But manager comes in here and goes, Kim, Kim, oh, we're not giving away for free.

I just give him a little taste. Kim's like, I can say something like, he little scum fuck. Give him $20 a piece of garbage shit. I thought it was gonna be so huge that I bought paypiggies.com. I'll tell you that. I got really high one day and I was like,

someone's gonna want this. Oh, you actually did it. Paypiggies? Paypiggies. So, I think, is this only men who want this? There's no squirrels who want a guy is this only men who want this? There's no girls who want a guy who can't bring them. For every, for every,

I mean, do that for free when we date them. Yeah. But also for every four, for every four million guys who would be into this, there's one girl that would be the opposite. There's probably a few. They can't be a girl. I mean, what?

There's definitely a girl. There's a girl that's gonna have money on her own. I mean, that's crazy. It can't be a fit down, but I'm also a massage-ness. I'll just, I can't ever call me an idiot. This dumb bitch doesn't have any money. Before she just didn't pay, you just call her a dumb bitch, slat whore,

and she goes, I got no money. I'm intrigued always by the sexualization of completely non-sexual things because It was a great statement by the way. It's a that again. I'm Fascinated by the sexualization of non-sexual things straight up to feet But I get feet more than I get like Straight up to the feet, but I get feet more than I get like Just that like I want someone to continue to ask me for money to try to try to try to drain my bank account I don't get feed at all. Can I tell you I just have this podcast called stone science and I would get high and like up things Yes, yes, yes, yeah, but I used to have a podcast format of the show you did

Okay, and we would look up just facts during the podcast, just lost owned, and we looked up the feet thing, and I don't know if I remember this correctly, but it's like something in your brain, whatever is attracted to like vaginas and whatever sees feet are near each other and they like cross for some people. Really? Yeah.

And some people just see feet like pussies. So it's like an episode of House. It's just, ah, he's got his vagina foot thing crossed. And some people just see feet like pussies. So it's like an episode of House. He's got his vagina foot thing crossed. Yeah, we have fixed that. Let me fix that. I put a shoe on your pussy. You can see Nikki glazes. It's rough, right? She has raffes.

She shows them. She showed it on her show as a foot fetish show on her. But she put her picture of her foot up in the old audience went, oh, no, she was like, what? That's my foot. And they're like, I think she's like goblin feet. Let me tell you something. She could hold a coffee mug with that foot. Pinkies out. I mean, dude, that foot is fucking nuts. She probably could make a lot of money off those feet. Oh, not off that. Yeah, you could. That's a very small. It makes money off any more. Blyo beasts women make tons of money on only fans probably. You know, probably or they do.

Pro I don't know. What's the percentage? Probably. I think I'm gonna throw a quick percentage at you. What? Um, no, listen, I will say there's a world of like uh, those big girls. I think like back in the day, like in 90s porn, it was really novelty and not a thing at all. There's a whole market for that now. Like you could be, again, about the non-sexual things. Some people think it's hot to go to a girl who can't move. She's so fat and hold pizza for her. Some people think it's hot to feed the girl and make her fat.

So I'm saying, yeah, feed her a feeder. Well, like in the movie seven. Yes. I've never seen it, but. You've never seen seven? No. She's young, Bobby. Leave her alone.

Not that young. I'm only 32. Oh my God. I'm just a pep. Pay you to call me a fucking piece of shit right now. It has ten bucks. Call me a fucking loser. Bobby, you piece of shit.

You fucking lose. Give me this, Bucks. You laugh at my You fucking don't take back the hundred give it You're gonna have to do a lot more of that. Yeah, baby It came real quick. I know we're friends. You laughing my dick. I'm trying to get to work and I can't find any good videos You're gonna have to pay her to do that. I just have to pull it out There you go. Yeah, you think it's hot. There's like feeder food Jacob you can't even look at that. You'd rather watch gay porn than this. I think so. Well, I watch my 600 pound life, all the versions of it. And they're all I did two, I mean, they

eat themselves into a room. So they have enablers just making them fat. You know, it's fucked up as I watch that show and I get jealous of them. Yeah, we're just like, fuck it. Yeah, when you're but that he's so good. Every time I eat a fucking corn dog, I feel guilty about it for three days. She's just done. No, there is something about when I used to see really, really fat people eat

and I'm like, wow, yeah, I felt like shit. Every time I ate, I felt like a fuck, I'm such a fat fuck. But they're just eating. Like ice cream out of the container. I feel like when I stare at fat people eating, they probably think I'm judging them and I'm just actually jealous. I think the sign of a girl giving up completely

and I've never had this thing. But I couldn't imagine the inverted reverse bone or I would get in my life if the girl I was with goes, are you gonna finish that? Can I finish it? I go, what? I've done that. We did, yeah.

I never had a girl, Esme. You have only, I think really maybe only Mark Normans, the only human being who's ever asked me if I was finished with that. But I was at the Jokers cruise. I remember, I think it was three in the morning. They had it all you can eat buffet sure and I remember two fat fat human beings pulled up in the Larks And they just moved the chairs with the Larks

Really and they pulled up on their little bikes to the table and eight eight eight eight eight. I'm gonna have a mark. Good. What's a mark? It's a little fat person bike. It's like the jazzy's like the like the car.

The car's for people. You know the Walmart things. Yeah, they just they just you heard the chairs go rare and they just pushed them out of the way and those things. They pulled up. I want one. I really like it.

There's a few things that look really nice It's being fat like that and letting go and being in prison every time I see those women's prison shows I'm like I would run that shit in Joe. Oh, yes 60 days in Imagine Running Yeah, I don't give you another ten bucks Using fat amenities as a not fat person probably is funny shit. See if I sit in that The people are assuming I need to be in that if you sit in that it's like man

She's fucking cruising around this thing. No, they're like this bitch is taking advantage of some chair She doesn't need this bitch is hot with polio She must have noodle legs or something why she in that in that thing? You can get those in Walmart, you can grab one. That's a run. 700 smackers isn't a lot. Oh, they go up though. Look at this one. Two grand.

Three grand. Look at that one. That's the Rolls Royce. That's the guy would fucking the scooter if he was driving that one. He's got the Bentley of Scooter. He's got rims. He's got a stereo.

I bet it's got a stereo. It's got rims It's got a stereo I think it's got a stereo it's got a driver I Bet that also goes by how much weight it can hold My money how much you can hold please Christine could you wait capacities 400 pounds Yeah, that's not that much No, I'd need to want to be bigger. I was 50 pounds off that It's not that much. No. I'd need to want to be bigger.

I was 50 pounds off that. From being out for me. I had to pay for that. Take your time back. I heard my feelings. Before it came to a book, he was mocking down money. I was 10, Bobby Kelly. Last one was a buyback.

It's true. Yeah. Oh, Christine, and it's true. Yeah, I saw Christine please go. That is. Now I'll go to YouTube and bring up fat people falling out of the suitors. There's one where the guy was dragging his fat wife in the golf cart back to the house and they went up onto the curb into the grass and she fell off the back and rolled down the hill. Oh no.

Just going, going, ow. Ow. Remember the, I'm trying to feel super bad for help was fast. Trying to stab people riding and they all turned on her. She's in a wheelchair and she's got a knife protecting the Walmart. They all just start fucking throwing fire extingu-

They fire extingu- extinguish her like her whole face and shit. She's trying to stab them, it's insane. Ugh. Dude. This big guy on this scooter is pretty funny though. Fab- you go to the very first- Oh, that's the worst.

Dude, all of it's the worst. Uh, I can't, these are my people. This makes me sad. It doesn't. You can't though. It shouldn't. Why? Because it's a self-inflicted-

I can't turn on- It's a self-inflicted thing. can't turn on a Flick the thing I can't turn on these people Jay these are my people Even though I'm not one of them anymore that's still my Kid she killed a kid a fat murder If you quit smoking crack you can laugh at crackheads Yeah, that's right Bobby. It's okay. I can't laugh if fat people is a different thing. You quit being fat. I know, but they're still, and these people aren't that fat by the way. No.

They're not fat. No, that guy is. Because we're a dog in Jersey. That could have been me. It's so funny that the title of this clip is Fat People Falling. Oh, yeah. It's so mean. This isn't the first time I've watched this.

Yeah, they're actually not going through. These people aren't fat enough. Ah! I think they're not fat enough, but that kid was fat enough to break the ramp. Kim was there last night, Legion of Skanks. I think Jamar, one of the guests, ordered a pizza, pepperoni pizza.

And Lewis, when it suited went down, took a couple of slices of pepperoni. So then I was like, I went down took a couple slices of pepperoni So then I was like I'll grab a couple slice pepperoni kind of in a cool moment when it's not really gonna draw attention to it at all And when I went into grab the pepperoni. I just like Pushed down on the and the whole pizza just fell like sideways and the thing like everything all eyes on me holding three pepperonies Hey said you broke the pizza the the pizza stand with, the pizza chair with your finger legs, what they said. Just saying, just saying, yeah,

because your fingers broke the fucking pizza chair. Yeah. Your fat hand broke the pizza chair. That was a, that was a fatso alarm. Day's my, day's my fin dom. One of my biggest fantasies is to That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool.

That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool.

That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool.

That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so cool. That's so Yeah. So, so if I lost 40 pounds, then I could just eat my way back up to 130. So you want to lose your sh**? I'm getting it. I'm getting it. Just eat, just like, fucking just go all out. Do you think, do you think there's going to be a point, are you nervous of finding somebody

you love, falling in love, and then just saying, fuck it? You'll never just say saying fuck it. You'll never just say fuck it. No. What's when I was gonna ask you, say you're jealous of that you hold yourself back from food a lot. Really? Yeah.

But you don't die at you just kind of stay away from shit. I would say I'm edging at eating disorder. For sure. Probably. But I think a lot of people are. What's the biggest shit that I've ever been? I think, um. Well, wait, why? It lot more women than you think.

Wait, why? How much you weighed? Like $155. You're sure? But I'm only $53. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, but you look good with weight. You look good.

I remember you were a little bigger, but you look good. It didn't look bad. That's what should you think for a girl or two? And then you do a roast comic. So every one of those hits a little bit. It's actually when I was, when I was like, when I was a little bigger and I was younger comic, it's actually how I'd gauge how fat I was

is by my roast battles, because I'd be like, oh, they only said I was ugly. That was like, that's nice. I look good this month. But that is such a hilarious thing. It's like they are making that joke almost because they assume it wouldn't bother you. Do you know what I mean? Because you're not fat. Yeah. Yeah. But like inside you're like, yeah, they see it. They see what I'm hiding. God damn it. But they it's weird. It's like Kim's hot. So it's fun to call her fat. And the Kim's like, no, they're right.

They know. Yeah. But you get fat. Like I got fat in my stomach. It went didn't go to my legs at all like some people get fat You had the most dangerous fat What the fuck you did that mean no the bell Well, I don't believe it isn't my right about this You know that stuff like this is like For eyes, you mean it's the most like a poll It's like really like legit me pulling on your organs. The big stomach is the worst one.

What was it fucking European fat? What do you mean he did? You know, it sucks about, it's not, I'm not only sucks to be used to fat, he says you're the worst fat. I was, yeah, I was the most dangerous fat. Like what the fuck is that, J? What is that, J?

The deadliest fat. It's like a bad avocado. Yeah, I'm not looking at abs right now. I mean, Steve, will you look up something that back up what I'm saying instead of just sitting there? You'd be so fat that it's literally crushing your organs. But I wasn't, I mean, that's that J was I? Do you wear a 100% gut?

That's the thing. That's a good name for a special. That's the killer. I think I think a bird's when Bert gets heavy, it's like a dangerous kind of. He's not a big guy. It goes right to you. It's like, oh yeah.

And then here's what's funny about that, is it tends to weirdly look better because it's like a firmer thing? Yeah, it does. It's called, that's like what people refer to as dad bod, right? Yeah, yeah, because it's like a firm thing. It's not like a jiggly thing. The Christine literally brought up exactly what you said.

The most dang, belly fat is the most dangerous fat, that kind of fat. That's so true. Because when it develops, it crushes all your fat organs inside of you. I didn't know there was a dangerous fat. Yeah, and then it said Bob Kelly. The most dangerous fat.

The most dangerous fat. That's the most dangerous fat. That's one of the Bush Garden rides we want. Ironically, fat people can't get in. All right, turns. Oh, man. Christine has walked. Christine has had the walk behind me getting off a ride enough times. It's a nightmare for me.

Yeah, let me get some mad at me for not staying on the ride. I'm not going to stay on the ride. Will you walk off? Let me take my shame walk. Go go. She has to walk behind me. Go. I'm his caretaker I make sure he doesn't swallow his own tongue when he sleeps but you know what Jay you have to also realize that if you don't do the shame walk back you have to do the shame reunion which is

here's all she's coming out with a bunch of dudes that are also laughing and high-fiving her friends I'm holding her purse while I'm watching her on the T-Series Turtle Shredder ride. She waves to you and the ride comes and splashes you in the face. She comes up, she goes, one more time, one more time. I'm just going to go one more time. Do you want to help me burn her? Gary, wait up. Gary, lift me on the seat again.

Did I tell you mine with that? Yeah, just give you a five. Hey, dude, what's up? Nice to meet you, Jay, right? We talked about you. Do you mind with that? It was the Superman ride. I think I told you mine with that? I just give you a fuck. Hey, dude. What's up? Nice to meet you. Jay, right? We talked about you Do mine with that was the Superman ride. I think I told you that right and the Superman ride is just the harness between you and the ground Love that one and when it went up like that or should I say first it was again? There was yeah, there was no Helga so

There's just a bunch of skinny guys who did everything up to it including holding on to the track and putting his feet on it. They were doing parkour on them. I'm telling you, they're like, everything, Bobby, sit up like this. They look like they were filming a YouTube video in an alley. It did, it did. It a physical. Yeah, are you guys jackassing forever? Are you jackass forever?

Are you jackass? Hey, can you get the engineer, can you get the engineer who made this real close? But I'm sticking with my ass almost perched trying to get between the seat, so I can give them some space to push this thing in. And the guy next to me, I told you, I sounded like someone was like, the thing that puts the bolts on the tires,

like the machine, mine just made a click. And then it went up and I'm being held in the air by a click and when I'm in the station, I start throwing Like my body into it to be like if it's gonna gonna snap let's have it snap here. Yeah, it didn't snap But then I thought probably didn't help losing it a lot and then things starts going and I was remember Obviously went fine, but like when we were going up that slow rise Mm-hmm. I remember thinking it was a guy a bunch of people who worked at the comic strip went

There's one of the bartenders Greg and I go I'm ever going nervous and I go I'm gonna look over a Greg He's gonna be smiling. It's gonna be a really fun thing and I'll get back in the spirit of this I look over at Greg and Greg's looking to be like He goes he goes Dude if you fall out there's nothing I can do and I went what? Dude if you fall out there's nothing I can do and I'm like what? And then it's She's like it's I went to go off. He's got real and when we landed the station was like There's one of the things like I did it. I'm okay. I'm alive. You felt like you did something really just oh

Shit we're supposed to get break take a good producing dude I'm gonna give you the the break son, but then I we're having too much fun. We're having so much fun We're hanging out with Kimmy Kong and everybody can wemy Connets in the studio looking great in the mother fucking studio. She's going to be in Philadelphia, April 30th everybody. After that C. R. C. is New York, Albany, New York, Connecticut for tickets and all tour dates. Go to Kimconden.com. I make sure to go see that big J and myself will be in Nashville next week doing a couple shows. And then we're going right over to Austin to the Moontow comedy festival bigj comedy dot com. He's in Detroit the 15th this weekend you're killing it and then go to robocatolive.com for all my tickets and make

sure you check out big J dog belly. Talk belly available now. Me and you we're gonna we're gonna double up we're gonna sing a song together at comedy jam at Moontow. We have a lot of fun. We'll see you guys. Can I tell them to listen to this bitch podcast too? Of course, this bitch podcast. I was just on very fun. I've never been on Never Been Asked.

I love to have you on it. It's the bonfire. See you guys. This is it. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates

coming to a city near you. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stink. I step down your crackle crackle, I stink.