The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Fixing Jacob with Colum Tyrrell

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

There is another event in the SiriusXM lobby that prevents the employees from entering and the guys send Jacob to get to the bottom of it. Colum Tyrrell is back in studio to help change Jacob's style so he gets more respect around the building. Bobby suggest putting him in a "Suitsy" and has to explain to Colum about the ridiculous menswear. | Jay recalls that Colin Quinn made a cameo appearance in the Cosby Show as "Dangerous Davey Herbeck." Enjoy this unaired episode of The Bonfire as the gang with return next week! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Hey. I didn't take a night off of that. I went into the spot and talked about it. We were talking about having a baby, how hard and crazy it is now. Back in the day, he just had sex, and then she got pregnant. Now we know so much about pregnancy that Dawn by the end had an app. She had, she was drinking certain cough syrup,

fucking dream catcher over a pussy, some chicken bones, you know, by the end, had to hold her legs up. But you have to fuck too, though, also. Oh, there you go. And then fuck also. Okay, I was putting it in by my hand. Yeah, you're doing those things.

I was mushing it in like a sandcastle. Yeah. Chee-chia. Christine came in hot. They closed in the lobby again. Oh, they did? For who now? I have no idea.

Well, they have a party out there. There's like a birthday party or some event. I just want to get down seriously. Jake, do you have clearance to find out what's going on out there? I'm actually not clear to go into the lobby. We were here. Yeah, you got to go around. You can't find out what's going on?

I could find out. So Howard Stern would have to go around? No. You think TI would have to go around? No? I think the guy didn't know who he was. Why do we have to go around? I'm going to tell you why I'm going to do this lobby.

Why? I'm going to tell you. Why? All right, I'm telling you. You want to know? You want to know what's going on? I'm not telling you. Bet to find out the hard way.

You're listening? Jacob, don't take shit from anybody. I love that Jacob does everything just begrudgingly. Yeah, but he does. Everything he does. He has his shoulders down. Okay. I know, but I'm like, Jacob, we're out there and sucker fish the fish bowl.

Fucking do the blowfish. Jacob hates getting up. We have to reinvent this guy. Jacob, that porn star, Adis Fouche saying, oh my God, when did you get here for a person that was here the entire time she was there? Directly next to her.

He's sitting right next to her. In a thick brown jacket. Laughing, laughing at the stuff we're all saying, even she's saying. Like, making audible sounds. She jumped like a fucking ghost. Like a shadow came to life. He goes, what happened?

She goes, whoa, how have you been there? Jesus. How long have you been there? It's like, I've only seen this ass on the internet. And I was like, ew. Is this to teach guys to be able to date long term so they don't get... How old have you been sitting there? Jesus.

I mean, that's horrible. Hey, guys, we'll lie. Now we're... He's going to live for us. That's why we're sitting up to get killed by black people in the fishbowl. Well, first of all, he has to change his fucking earth tone outfits. He just blends into walls and chairs. He's coming in.

That's his whole thing. We got to reinvent it. Dude, J.B. is going to be somebody up. J.B. is going to peacock. don't take no shit. He's got to get. He's going, like, a hoodie thing going. Like a hoodie, like, you got the hoodie thing.

A hoodie, a hoodie thing. He needs more than that. He needs... Oh, he's more than that. We get, we get a hoodie. Maybe some type we change his glasses up. He's got those stupid fucking reading glasses. He's got to get, like, big glasses like me.

I say he's going to start embracing. He's in shape a little bit. No, you have your look. Let's keep you in your lane. Listen. I don't want. Jacob's going to be an old fucking Jew, like that. What?

Yeah. They're going to stop him on 47th Street? Yeah. Someone's a widow. aren't. Jacob's got to play into, he's got to play a character until he believes in himself, where I'm thinking, like, some distressed jeans, buttoned down flannely shirt, with the tank top showing underneath it.

Because he's in shape. Maybe flip flops, flip flops with some ripped jeans something. He absolutely do flip flops where he doesn't give a fuck that much. Rip jeans and flip flops. Or shoes that have, like, you know, he doesn't wear socks with some slip-ons. But he looks cool. Oh, yeah. He's pulling it off, though.

The ankles are out. What, you mean like like crock, like a, like a, Birkenstone? type thing? Yeah. No, no, no, no, that's too. That's looking for danger. No, he was just saying like, I don't give a fucking flip-flop. You know those boots with the really high heels, but they're like work boots but it has a high heel? A lot of people wear him. Why don't we get him a boot with a high

heel, so it gives him the height? No, because he's going to be fucking prince. Yeah, so what? What are we trying to do? He's trying to peacock him? Or we try to... He doesn't be... If he peacocks tiny, he'll appear big. We come up with five new looks, and we get him to try out each one.

Okay. I like that. Why don't we do? He's a trail to show. Like, he goes out and gets changed and then comes back, is that what you want to do? No, not those. Just like Marilyn Manson's sister? Like a fucking 16-year-old god.

Not fucking Big J's high-heel boots that he would wear. Like a Domainterx he comes in? Christine just ordered those for Big J. I think we should do that. I think this should be, maybe we just get it on it now when he comes back here.

She starts figuring out, like let's pick, I think Colum's right. Let's pick five outfits. Let's order those outfits for. Okay. I would, like one of them we have to pick out as hip-hop style.

Yeah. That should be a furry, Like a curt hoodie. Like with fur on it. Black, maybe leather. Maybe. You know, matching bottom pants, maybe some,

maybe some, I was going to throw him a straight cango. I like, I like the flat caps that you guys are wearing like that, but a little bit off.

One of these? Yeah, but more like Luz because that's kind of more like urban is. Yeah, a little off to the side. A little off to the side, a nice chain. Maybe that, maybe a kango.

What about backwards can go? It might look forced. You might look forced. You might have like a young boss. Yeah, goatee. Has that ever existed in our lifetime of young boss? I don't know.

I've heard legends. Yeah, he's like the pyramid. Oh, wait a minute. What's that one right there with the long sweater, the Long Island sweater? Okay, well, he is. I don't mind that. Let's coffee shop Jacob. That's not going to make it.

No, this looks like what? Yeah, but we're picking, cool Jew. We're picking five different outfits. I know, but I was thinking more like, you know, construction worker, Indian cop. Yeah, I'm going to go. The village people. I'm not going to go. All the village people jobs.

Yeah. Kentucky lineman. I think we pick five genres and let him try e genre on. Yeah. And I think that that that, that. That little coffee shop fucking writer poet guy. What's wrong, Jay? He's too strong.

He wrote the fucking equipment here sucks nuts. Yeah, but it sucks nuts for nine years. It's a serious X-M. Everything's just fucking tough. If you just tap anything, it falls. Yeah, but the other, the other suitors are pretty good, though. Now, you don't think he'd look good in that? No.

It looks like a sweater. He can't go golf vampire. He's too timid. I think he could do. But we're trying to get him out of it. But he could do like a Key Westy, like, pirate head. Oh, totally.

Like a... Hawaii shirt and a... He could go beach color. Oh yeah, he could go like a Sammy Hagar. Like a swinger. Like a swinger. Like a total fucking... Yes, a little bit like a swinger for sure.

Right. Crispy tan, though. We might have to spray tan them. Kind of like a Hunter S. Thompson style. I almost bought that sweater, by the way, Christine. We might just... Oh, there we go. That one right there.

I almost bought that. Yeah, Dawn said no. Good. You almost bought that? No, not that. I have that outfit. Not that one. What do you just buy the first?

That pops up? Is that why you're shopping for? With the panther of the middle. This? Yeah, I almost bought that. You did not. I swear to God. How does this even appear on your shop?

The first thing you go, though. Remember the sweater that I had at Ari, the thing that we went to? I have that red one. No, you don't. Yes, I do. You have four tigers on a button-down shirt? I'll wear it Monday. From Oxnit?

Yeah, Oxnit. A big Oxnick guy? Remember the one with the tigers on it that I wore at the Ari thing? Yeah. And you guys all compliment me on it? Everyone remembers it. Right? Yep.

No one remembers the shirt. Scroll down, scroll down. You guys remember, right? I have all these. They go up to 4XO, which is very nice. That's pretty nice to them. High reviews. Jacob, what was going on out there?

All right. There's nobody coming in. It's a Harry Styles album release party. Is he going to be here? No. They're just doing it together? We can't walk through. because of that? Because of that.

Yeah. Okay, that's crazy. The reasoning, I guess, they said, is because they don't want any phones because the album isn't released. They don't want somebody pretentarily recording. We fucking work here. Hey, man, they're also, they said they're going for a vibe. I don't know what the vibe is. Oh, that's going to hurt. No, no, that's not us. It's just...

What the fuck is the vibe? That was at you. I don't know what the vibe is. That was shade at you. Well, that's good. I'm glad that comes up, Jacob, because we decided part of the J.B. transition. I don't fit that vibe. We're going to figure out, well, you might when we're done with you. Yeah, then I don't be begging you to join them. We're going to pick out five genres.

Genres of outfit. Five different looks. Oh, is this fruity clothes for me? No, no, not fruity. Not with that attitude. No, no, no. This is good. This is style.

This is drip. We're going to pick up five genres. This is identity. But, Jacob, tell us if you like it or not. Okay. We're going hip hop. We'll go hip hop We got a fun

Country Western All right Let me see it But rugged the way That I want you to be Yeah There's gonna be no dandy No bow ties

No suspenders No You're not gonna be a plantation owner You're gonna be a fucking Yeah I said I might have you having I'm thinking yellow leather Working gloves in your hand

Like gloves you would need So you don't get burns From horse ropes Yeah It's funny you bring a plantation owner Does you know the Black Loo just frown?

It is funny to bring that up. What's his name? Don Johnson in Django Unchained? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, complete racist, but I love the outfit. It is, yeah, the Colonel Sanders? Colonel Sanders?

It's a great. You want to... Are you requesting a Colonel Sanders? Is that what you're asking for? I think it's bad. You really want to wear a ribbon tie? I think this is Christine's pick for you because she's brought up a couple of times. I agree.

I agree. No, Jacob, I agree. This might be one that works for you. Versacee model. That's the look we've gone with her. I like that. What is this? Barabas?

It's Barabbas. Yeah. We have to get you a chain, though. He needs a chain and that pinky ring would go fantastic with that. Maybe it's because of it. The pinky ring's going to happen with whatever he has. I say we just let him dress like this. Yeah.

Maybe because it's Don Johnson. I mean, the man is just, he's always sunny crock it to me. As a person who loves you, I'd prefer you not dress like this in the streets of New York City. Yeah. I would love to you. But as soon as you put on, the accent, that's... Oh, right away. If I lick my lips.

upon such a pondering. I say, I'll say, who taught you how to read? Why is there a black man on a horse in my plantation? If it wasn't linked to, you know, bad stuff? Charlie Barnett could read, indublably. Do the bit about the Japanese and how they walk. Do the thing where they walk all fun and crazy. Mandingo, we get two comics to do hacky impressions of Puerto Ricans.

I like this Charlie Barnett, but his lips ain't white enough and his inner lips ain't red enough. Do me a favor say the N-word again. Tell me how Mexican. I'm not picking your underwear other than to say I'd like you to have something with dual pouch technology would hold your dick and balls I put forward key West party guy like Jimmy Buffett Jimmy Buffett fan para head you're wearing the Hawaiian shirt that's the way he dresses when he goes to Florida anyways is that I know to bring it back you might actually be like the Nuggy Lamont whoa noogie Lamont how we dressed in Miami

Vice Noggy Mellam oh Jesus Christ I don't want you dressed like You can't say it in that accent. You don't know how he looks, Jay. Uh-huh. No, no, he was like Charlie Barnett. Nuggy has a look. No, I know, but this is too dorky. I don't, Jacobs, the dork days are over.

They're behind us. What about a French sailor? I don't think you guys are getting it. I'm thinking maybe like a tight, maybe a black t-shirt. We roll them sleeves up, 902 and O style. Okay. Maybe we make him look like a fucking like the ghost of a drag racer from the 50s. You know what I mean?

Like one of those looks where we cuffed the bottom of the jeans a little bit? Well, like the original. original Hell's Angel guys that just rode to ride. More like the deuce is wild. The deuce is wild. More like the outsiders. A tough. Yeah, a tough.

You want me to look like a tough? A tough. A greaser. You want to be like... Yeah. Yeah, we'll give them one soche. You're like, well, you know, the pink ladies. We'll take your belt, we'll make you do it on the side.

Yes. Yes. And maybe some cigarettes while up in your sleep. And you flip a coin. But there'll be bubble gum cigarettes. I do like that, dude, flipping a coin. flipping a coin casually just always always like really working a toothpick like in the front of your mouth while I like Bobby's just a bubble gum cigarette thing yeah okay we'll give you

little watch too and you're like a little pocket watch a little chain to your belt that you can take it out he's not Ebenezer scrooge well yeah he loves a pocket watch he loves a cane and pocket watch doesn't go with everything now pinky rings gone with everything pocket watch we could have a look well oh yeah we could just we have five looks one of them could be steampunk yeah we can go jacob full steam punk just fucking like metal hat And hats and shit. Some goggles? He can't do steampunk.

You know who always has a toothpick adopted the toothpick lifestyle? Lars Ulrich always has a toothpick when he talks. Yeah? Yeah. I don't like it. You don't like it? I don't like the tooth pick. I think we have to go.

It just means like you're picking food out of your team. What about Arthur Fonzarelli look? What's what I'm saying? Like the Fons. But that's sort of like the drag racers thing I'm saying. We dress him exactly like the Fonz. A cool old james. Yeah, they're not gonna, it's two on the notes.

Can I say something too? The Fonz's leather jacket sucked. It had the elastics on the cuffs. It was brown. It wasn't black, it was brown, and it had the elastics around the waist and the fucking cuffs. You had boring ass pockets. Oh, he was a fucking dweeb.

It was an ugly jacket then. Yeah, look at it. It stinks. What a shit jacket. Look how big the elastic is on the cuff. Hey. Oh. Hey.

I think Jacob has that jacket now. Probably. I'll tell you who's not going to have that jacket, J.B. How he looks old wearing it, though. It doesn't... Oh, God. Oh, it's black bear. That's not...

Who's that? That's him? Yeah, that's Henry Winkler. It looks like an AI version of him. I think it was always brown, right? I think they changed it. That's not... That's not him, though.

That's him as just a promo picture. He didn't even wear that at the first season. I think it was a totally different jacket. He had a T-shirt. I think he had a... No, he had a barracuda. Yeah. He had a different kind of jacket.

Wasn't he like a different... The first season he didn't have a leather. What's a barracuda? Same type of look, but cloth. Okay. Yeah. Gotcha. Right.

You're looking at barracuda leather? Baracuda jacket. Not leather, just... Fonzie. Fonzie. Fonzie. Baracuda jacket. Fonzie. There you go.

Yeah, it didn't work. It didn't work. He didn't look cool. No. It did not look cool. Yeah, you could do like 1980s, English skinhead type of a thing. We could go with that.

Yeah, you'd love that. And the white laces would really let set a message to Black Lou. A little tattoo on your forehead over cross. And that would go with all your books at your house. That would roll in with your anti-Semitic books collection. They give you an excuse for the boots. I only have one.

It's the one, though. Yeah, British-1980s British skinhead look is a good look for Jacob for sure. Yeah, with the little red thin suspenders? Yeah. Oh, my God, dude. This is it. I want to stomp somebody. I do like that.

We're going to call this your Take the Countryback look. Yeah, we're going to call this All Lives Matter look. What's this? Wait a minute. Whoa. This is out there, but I'm digging it. This is a see-through shirt that you're going to be wearing with some dress pants. Yeah. But some nice fitted dress pants.

But it has a built-in scarf. It's a scarf and shirt in one, so you don't have to go looking for all of your items. Yeah, it's a sharp. Did I tell you, Little Stephen, did I say this on the air? Little Stephen was in last week, and he was wearing... From the East Street Band, Bruce Springsteen. Light blue jeans, but the boots were part of the jeans. What?

What? Like a fucking overall? Woonzy? He was wearing jeans onesie? The boots were... He like, he had to pull on the pants and the boots would go on. It was like pajama bob. He's like, fucking wearing weighters going...

I'm telling you. Bobby's trying to get a three-piece suit that does that, remember? Yeah. Bobby wants all of his clothes like Leslie. Like a morph suit that just looks like it. It's called a sooty, and you jump in it and it just zips in the front. That's what he was wearing. I seen him for women, but not.

Oh, I get it. It's a style thing. It's probably he's wearing women's clothes, probably, because it's. Look at men's. Type of the word men's in. I bet they doesn't exist. Is there a name for them? I didn't know they existed, but yeah, he stood out.

Yeah, I bet he's wearing women's jeans. Pantishoes. Yeah, they were boots. Pantissues. Pantishoes? Men's pantas shoes? Oh, now I really want to buy. That's how we're just going to go on the LGBT Panta friends.

Panty shoes. Excuse me. I identify as a Panta. You think I wouldn't rock a pair of pantos shoes? I know you would. Now that I know they're cool. You put Hili's in, though. You're fucking in.

The thing were that they weren't tight. They were tight. They were tight. They didn't. Yeah, because they were women's pants. pants. Pant the shoes. He's in his 70s.

Sorry, thank you. Pantas shoes. He was, he's in his 70s and they were kind of form fitting. Did you see his nuts? Big old, his old guy nuts or his flat old nuts. That's one of the best, dude. Wisen. My favorite type of nuts.

Those are wild. Pantishues, yeah. But his didn't bat. There was a high heel? Were they high heel? They weren't baggy. They were like form fitting, I mean, boot up to his tooth. They were tailor-made panty shoes.

That's not you know you're. I've made it. That is how you know you made it, dude. I want all of my clothes just be one piece. Bobby's going to get that suitesy, though, I believe in you. I want that suzzi. Bobby would go to a funeral wearing a suit that... He said he wants all of his clothes designed by Leslie Nielsen and the naked gun.

He goes, well, you don't realize underneath my sweatsuit as a full tuxedo. And underneath that, a woman's dress just in case I have to be a... Yeah, it's a suit. You don't have to tuck a shirt in or a belt. Sure. It's just you jump in it and you zip it up, and the tie goes over. with a zipper. It's crazy.

If somebody wore that, you wouldn't know? You wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. Seriously? I'm imagining like a fucking, like when a t-shirt looks like a t-shirt looks like a t-sito. You know what I mean? You're right. It is like that.

No, it's not like that. It has a tie. They would send you home from one of those workspace rental offices if you wore that. Bring up suites. They go, I know you're working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At a Regis, they'd be like, I know this is your own time. You're renting it here, but we can't have you in the building.

We don't have a dress code, but it's definitely not that. You can't wear fucking suit pajis. Jammies. Guess who's getting a suzzi for his birthday this year? Me? Look at that. Yeah, you can do the win-in-come-with-the-suit. Look at that.

I love a suitesy. Look at that. Bobby. Look at this guy. You're ready to rock, dude. Hey, babe, take out the suitsie so we can have a threes. You know how easy it is to fucking bang a chick and get back into your suitesy and get out of there? Yeah, I hate when I have the bang a chick and get back into my suit.

It's one of the worst things. Look at the worst thing. Look at the regular suit. I think so. We're an awful walk of shame. They go, it's a little. hot as shit out. Why don't you take your jacket off? It's attached to the shirt, which is attached to the pants,

which is attached to the shoes in underwear. I mean, it is a... Yeah, okay. It's a springfall suit. You go to the bathroom and the cubicle next to you? The guy has all his clothes on the ground, having a shit. You've been dancing all night. Take your jacket off, man.

I can't. What happened? I got piss on my jacket. My jacket. I got pissed on my jacket shirt and pants. I just don't understand what problem this. This solves the problem of being fat and having to tuck a shirt in, right? Yeah. And so all the time when you're fat, as soon as you tuck it in,

it's one move, one sit, and everything pops out. Yeah, it's like a one piece. So it's like if you worked at a garage, but you thought it'd be funnier for that coveralls to be a suit. You think it's funny that when you come out from underneath a dolly or that changes someone's oil, you come out and you're wearing a fucking three-piece suit. Your job is removing asbestos, so everyone else is wearing a hazmat suits, and you go, hey, guys, huh?

Always dressed for the occasion, I like the joke around here. Bobby loves the idea. He's just throwing the washer is one piece, and I'm sure it dries, not fucking wrinkly as balls. Anti-wrinkle. I don't think, it's a joke. It's a joke. Anti-wrinkle is a fake thing.

No. It doesn't exist. They have new suit. The suit I just got as anti-wrinkle. It's a new type of material they just invented. Yeah, it's a new, I swear to got it. It's metal. But is waterproof and wrinkle-proof.

You could just throw it in a bag. It's a suit. And, yeah, the suit jacket. It's a bad suit. No, it's a great. It looks fantastic. Bobby, no. The nicest suits in the world aren't also tactical. Stainless.

You never hear that about so. Stainless shirt. I got a John Barbados suit, dude. He goes, you could pour oil on this thing and it would slide right off. It's like that scotch guarded. Go out of a bit of scissors. Non-wrinkle waterproof suit. Attack it with scissors.

You try it. It is, it actually is knife-proof. You're going to look ridiculous. It's made of chain mail. Bobby's wearing night pajamas. There is right there. As I was thinking, we were looking at suitsie. I was like, wow, he could have run a steamer over this thing before his video.

He looked slumpy. Yeah. Well, I look slumpy. No, the guy in the Moodsci video. The Suzzi video. Like, he didn't even like, painted up for the fucking video. I don't know if that's rankled. That was the fifth or seven.

That was the fifth or six tape. That's the first version. The new, the new suitsy. The Suzy 2.0, the Suzy 2.0 has, it's stab proof, wrinkleproof, fireproof, bulletproof. The John Wick collection.

It's just an Iron Man. You were in the Iron Man suit, or wet. Fighting crime in between the vows. I'm wearing my zip-up suit. Jarvis? Tell me somewhere this is appropriate. Jarvis?

To be fair, when I was fatter, the suitsy was more appealing to me. Why? Because I just... That's the worst. You're a mascot of a guy in a suit. It did come with a.

the helmet Yeah give it up For the Yukon society man And then you come out On a fucking horse With a giant head

You should have a giant head to go on On top of that suit A big giant fake head of you On top of the suit for sure This one looks better In picture But they got a model

You guys have money Now you could just get tailored suits And look fucking That's what I did Yeah I had I had my wedding You look to me I got a tailored

Hugo Boss And then I got a custom suit Hugo Boss You know that's fucking Hitler's fucking... That's what I got it. That's what the noise he was.

That's what I got it. He drove his Volkswagen Beetle to get it. I had a guy... You had the guy from Japan make his suit, right? Ari's guy. Yeah, I wish I did that. He's extremely fair priced. Yeah.

Does he look good? It looked great. I think it was really good. Yeah. I wore the other one at our story awards at the grammar seat. I look good too. Yeah, I got a blue and a black one.

Schedule myself the next time he does a trunk show. Yeah. Yeah, next time you do, I'm getting one too. I know exactly what I want. Yeah. I'm doing it. Do you do suits seats? Just say don't.

Can you make this, can you put a zipper on the front of this? Bobby, do me a favor. Also order a suetzy, so when Dawn and everybody gets mad, she goes, are you wearing a fucking, did you get a tailored suit right down to the fucking pocket scar or the pocket square? And you go, babe, look, we can go to your family's thing with me dressed like this or like this, and then put on your suitsie. Right after you put on a tailored suit, take it off and put a suitzy on.

I could just go like this. And she's like, what are you? A fucking, like, yeah, you look like a fucking, a, like a, The child's toy came to life. You gotta take the jacket off for a puddle. I'm gonna... I can't even rescue a damsel and distress with my suitesy. The fact you have to hold your entire suit between your legs.

If you take a shit, you have to hold your whole suit between your legs between your knees. Yeah. So it doesn't get on the floor, but you're fucking naked in a bathroom at a ball. But I could be Superman really good. True. That would be great. Having a Suitsy. If Superman had a suzzi, it'd be easier to turn into Superman.

Because, you know, they always just show them opening up the buttons. But then he had to go and take the pants off, the shoes off. I bet you have to be so retarded to order the suzzi that most people that order the suzzi plan to wear them over a superhero costume. I would say that's the most obviously because it looks a little bit better than if your whole outfit was Velcro. So if I get the suzzi, if I get a shirt that has an S on it underneath. Not a shirt. They offer you that on Chekko.

It pops up and goes, would you like to have a price, Superman? They go, customers also looked at. Superman, Spider-Man. Gallon of ice cream. If you get a big enough suit, so you can get a fucking... Ah, he's had a gallon. If you get a big enough suits, you can put all kinds of things under it, dude.

A gallon of ice cream. Depression medication. Actually, you should just take it off and be in your boxers, but tape all that stuff to your head like that guy you like on the internet and be that superhero. That would be great if... I'm watermelon. tape chicken man.

If the suitsy came with underwear, that'd be a great little audition. Fuck. Fuck off. What is that? That's a suzzi tuxedo. Yeah. Fucking what, dude, you wouldn't get that? It does look good. It looks fantastic. I'm not gonna lie. Buddy, a tuxedo sucks. You can own a

tuxedo for how much. These are, those are all suites. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, they're not. No, no, no. If you're looking at suits.I.e. You asshole, Christine. That's an Irish. That's beautiful. That is beautiful. beautiful, beautiful suits.

When did Bobby? I can't stand Christine's dumbness sometimes. Bobby, I don't know when you bought your suitsy. Petitzy. I didn't buy a suit seat. You didn't, right? Because in 2014, they were trying to crowdfund Suitsi, and then it never went anywhere.

Nothing happened. You saw it on Crest. I got the wrinkle-free waterproof suit. Because Suitsy was so bad, it never got off the grid. That's not true. It's true. People like you. What bodies of water are you in?

2014. You saw it on Kickstarter. I'm Googling Suitsy. Googling suits. You Googling suits. I get this, that's not it, because it doesn't exist because it's so bad. Maybe Suitsi wasn't the name, though.

She really came at you hard for a glad. shit. She did because she doesn't like fat people. No, it's not that. That's actually true. She's almost never right, and she really fucking buried you on that one. Because she's so bad.

You are in love with a defunct product, and you said, by the way, you said, that's the old Suitsy. The new Suitsy's better. There was never Suitsy. It was a lie. It was an idea. That was a bit. We were doing dumb, dumb.

What? We were doing a bit with the 2.0. I said the new suzzi has this. It was a joke. Okay. It was a joke. Come on, guys. It's comedy show.

We're hams here. I said the new suits he's updated. And then he said 2.0. It was just a joke. It's a fucking shitty product, asshole. Beezer. Even the thumbnail of him looks like it. He looks like a schlub.

Every suzzi picture. So this is a product that was on Kickstarter. Never had a market. Well, because of people like you. and people like in this room. You don't understand the benefits. They don't believe. The time saving.

But he did get a fucking other suit made out of slicker, apparently. That's so funny if he went and got a regular suit with the money he raised on fixed out. He probably got a really nice suit. Oh, I like that red one. What's that red one? It's not a suitesy. But you know what? Lev showed up to my wedding and he was wearing one of those untucket shirts.

And he had like no shirt, no tie or nothing. He looked like a real slob. He showed up to my wedding. like the way everyone else ends a wedding. Like, at the end of the night. And Leap too, it was also, like, hot. So, like, Leav started sweat.

He was sweating. Yeah. Yeah. It was hot as hell. It's a fact guy thing, you. Yeah, he showed up, like, he came from someone else's wedding. It's a fat guy thing. I've done the no-tie, no-tuck-it, no-tie. I've done it, and it is sloppy looking.

Walked halfway true to fucking... I've tried late. Boom. Knocking shit over. I've tried not to do untucked shirt to a wedding sport, but I've also, I've just done it. No tie is fine. You just got to get through the first like 35 minutes and then you can go nuts. Yeah, but that's the most embarrassing part.

As soon as they go, I do, and then you're just like, huh, and then you're untucking and then tying everything, go fat's out. Well, you know, the reason I got those, the two suits made was because Vecione's wedding when I went. And I said I brought pants that had no belt loop. I had lost weight. So I had to put the belt on like a fucking huck finn over the pants. And then basically, no, I mean, like put the belt on. because there was no belt loops on the pants was the issue.

They were supposed to be suspender pants. I didn't know that. He had to go outside and cut a hose off. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I looked like a extension cord or something. I was definitely the country bear's band for sure, and I had my button-down shirt, like, untucked from it on next. I really didn't have any choice.

It was like, oh, you're going to, it was ridiculous. But I try to do tucked in. But now with the suits, I'll do. Now I'd be like, now I'd almost say, now if there's a suit. You've lost weight, you got the tailored suit. If there's a chance to wear a suit now at this point, you go, oh, well.

Oh, I can wear a suit now. I have a, the suit I bought is pretty good. But I have, I have, and it reflects rain. I have a range of fats in my suits. Because I got custom suits made before, but they were, when I was on sex drugs, I had to wear a suit in one of the things. So they had two suits made for me, but I was fat. So I have three different versions of my fatness in suit sizes in my closet.

Well, like when fat comics start deciding they're going to wear a suit at one point, and they have to be, you got to go loud, like the zany fat guy who wears a suit on state. You know what I mean? It's not a suit even. It's like he wears like a sports coat that's a wacky color. I remember when Colin was fat. He did the NACA convection, the national one. Excuse me.

And it was 3,000 people. And he had to follow Lewis Black who murdered. And then I remember I was there so excited to see Colin because I knew him from the cellar. I really wasn't friends with him that much, a little bit. And I sat right up front. And he came out in a purple, but he was heavy. So he was fat in a purple suit. They had him on Triniton screen

And then he bombed I remember at one point They had him on the big screens on the side And he turned his head And I just saw a sweat, fat thing Rolled down his rolls on his neck And he was like, well folks You gotta see his thing

You gotta see him on the Cosby show When he was Davey Oh Bring it up, Christine, Davey something Heavy down, was he? He was heavy on the Gary Shoe Was he heavy on the... Gary Shandler

I don't have him the Cosby Show He was at one of his fattest Yeah And he comes in dressed as a UPS worker with the shorts, and you can see his little fat legs in his fat stomach. Well, he said that one thing, one of his specialty comes out wearing skinny jeans and like an eight ball jacket and, like, sits on the stage and smokes. It was a Pittsburgh Pirates jacket.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And then he had chains, and he thought he'd just sit on the edge of the stage. Smoke. Come on, hey, I'm going to do something different. Oh, what a twat. What a twat he looked like. Oh, God. He goes, I'm going to do things a little different.

Smoke. Talk to you for his time of the stage. he was doing the Chappelle before Chappelle Oh yeah but I mean Sitting on the ledge of the stage Not sitting on a chair or a stool on stage At the start of it is like feet just dangling off the stage And then they're gonna have to like fucking

Realize the lights and shade Everybody They tell you this Exactly he didn't tell anybody He just did it You can see the camera guy paned down Oh fuck Davey Herbeck

That was his name on the show And he goes I'm losing my mind was as big like a episode i'm just trying to get to it no one picked up the cosby show for streaming come on let's get over it everybody those girls are all dead by now oh he's eating a hoagie he loves hoagies he is still filled off your treasure everybody what happened to the pudding pop i loved it the pudding pop is gone what's not like he he had his own brand of pudding he was the he was the guy for Jello pudding and then they started making pudding pops which he was the first pitch man for

the pudding pop like he was the guy he was the face of yeah that's when Eddie Murphy was like pudding pop yeah the problem with the pudding pop yeah the problem it's a strange what was the problem saying it please please I'll tell you what it was now you want to know what the problem was problem with the pudding pop problem with the puttin pop problem I'm gonna let you know now I'm a let you know I really want to know what the problem was it was a frozen dessert yeah but like As you were eating it, it got like warm but didn't change shape. Yeah. Like pudding frozen, like devastating.

It wasn't like cold like a popsicle. Yeah, it was more jelloy. You get like taffyish almost by the end. But I mean, it melted for sure, but it just a pudding pop is great. Oh, we love the pudding pop. Oh, we all love the pudding pot. What are we doing? Are we looking at Colin Quentin?

Yeah, I'm trying to buy that episode. I don't buy it. Buy it. It's not that worth it. You guys are doing well. Huh? You guys like, it all goes to, it all goes to Cosby's defense fund. It all goes to his little nest egg

We're trying to make sure he can have his Enjoy his twilight years Cosby himself This goes directly to Cosby That's why I buy the episodes once in time I'm on his Patreon He does a morning stream Giles get ready to attack the day

Conquer your inner bitch He's rogan he gets rogan if I Conquer your inner bitch Someone has your money in their pocket Your workout is my warm up Was your Cosby fucking Clinton Yeah, you get it. I did, I did, I got it.

And you bippin, your boop, you zapping, and you zapping. Zimba, zuba, zaba. Jacob, we're going to have so many good looks for you. It's insane. I'm more excited. I'm most excited to put together your hip-hop look. There's so many different versions of hip-hop. I would like to put together your cowboy look.

Yeah. I think I've got that. I'm going to do your Victorian look when you come out with big frills coming out of a buckle jacket. But don't worry, you're going to have a sword. You might have a sword. You could also have a gun that only shoots one bullet at it.

You could be, oh, you know, you could have a little, like a penknife guy. You could be like a little penknife guy, and then you do the fucking hand thing. That's pretty dope. You know what you should do, you know that. That black prostitution, you know, that black bonest I would know you're there. You're absolutely know you were there. We can let column help with your Alaskan fisherman look with the penknife. Davy Herbeck, we got him.

He's losing his mind. Maybe you can, because the problem I'm having is the... It's when these bitches bring. home a video tape. So it's giving me that episode number 421, but the title of 422. So do you know which one of these episodes it would be? Home for the weekend. I do know that. It's when Denise

comes home for the weekend. That's nuts. I can separate the art from the artists. Yeah, but you really know it. You know your shit. It's weird. Well, I grew up watching the show. Yeah, I know. Bobby was a little bit older than me and also on crack at that point. He was also on crack

at that point. He was 13. I had college right, too. My mom. My mom took care of me. We can all be right. Yeah, Jay was a little mommy boy in his stomach way. Eating TV dinners watching TV shows. Eat and put and pop. Yeah, Jay was raised like an alien.

You were duking it out in the orphanage or whatever you were done. You'll see they bring home a videotape. Denise Holmes with her friends. They come back with Davey Herbeck. Not yet. Not yet. Davy Herbeck's coming. Oh, God.

There he is. They're all back. They're all getting ready to watch Davey Herbeck. Go ahead. It's going to be the scene for sure Collins in this episode Yeah they're watching him right now On TV?

Yeah Nope For the love of God Passed it What are you doing? She passed it You must have missed it Yeah go ahead

So Remember he died because there was no Bobby there That's right Well actually he inspired me To go out there and save And save blacks Yeah Yeah

Yeah if he didn't die That girl would have died They're watching Davey Herbert All these young girls Getting ready to watch So Colin wasn't on the show he was on the

TV on the show yes and he played a guy called Davey Davey Herbeck he's a wild man he's supposed to be like Sam Kinnis and he oh okay but Gallagher it's a Gallagher Sam Kinnison he's like breaking shit Let's see it Is that the very very end

By the way she walked him home Well I better be going back to my house Oh your sisters are here I was gonna suck your brother off but forget it She's flirting with her fucking brother Yeah Kind of yeah A year after this, Mickey Rock fucking fucked her in the butt.

Oh, did he? Yeah, he did a, she did a movie. Just jump 10 second jumps. Angel Heart, apparently, they banged for real. Yep. That's what you want to tell yourself. That's the rumor. We literally have one minute left.

Wait, hang on, they're watching old Davy Hareback now. Go back. Go back. How long is he on a fuck? Just four seconds? It's the shortest little. Oh, he's shown him the western movie. Throw down that box.

Now, throw down that box. How do you remember this? I don't know. Skip ahead. They change it and put in Davey Herbeck. This sounds like me. Here we go. Dangerous Davey Herbeck.

I'm going to call him that. Oh, my God. What is it? What the fuck? We went through all that. He's losing his mind. That's it? I think there might be another scene.

That's like when they like squeeze in like hidden messages into movies. It's like they think they show one more. I think we come back to it. Oh, that was so not worth it. And he wasn't as fat as I hoped. That was the worst. He wasn't fat at all. He was actually almost bone thin.

I didn't say he was fat though. I think he was drinking then. I just said he was Davey Herbeck. That would seem like the Coke years. I'm going to call him that. We should all call him Davey Herbach. Dangerous Davey Herbeck. Dangerous column Terrell is going to be at the Riot Riverwall Comedy Club.

Go to call him. Colum Terrell, C-O-L-U-M-T-R-R-E-L, Colum-Tarral.com. And check out the Cockfight Podcast with Colum Tiro and Lev Furr, wherever you listen to podcast. Bobby Kelly this weekend for tickets and all of his tour dates. Go to Punch Up.com. Live slash Bobby Kelly, Robert Kelly. And of course, his YouTube page, Robert Kelly Comedy.

And, of course, every Tuesday night, 7 p.m. Fett Black Pussy Cat Lounge, the Comedy Cellar. Big J.com. And then YouTube.com slash at Big J.Okerson for his specials. And he also does his live show. uh up there which is hilarious and uh seems to be doing quite well thanks dog yeah um column thank you so much for hanging out with us thanks buddy thanks for filling in buddy appreciate enjoy the pre-record we got a fun uh topic brood on that that we're going to continue with if you guys

can just be cool can you just be cool crackle crackle crackle