The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Foot Loose (feat. Robert Kelly)

Episode Date: November 10, 2022

Bobby Kelly runs out of the room because of a heinous video that Jay enjoys!

I'm Big J. Ocarson, I'm Dan Soder, you can listen to full two hour long episodes of the Bond Fire? Two hours! That's a real commitment to us. Well, it's on Series XM or with the SXM app. It's easy, just go to SeriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. That's the old me, I hate that, I was that.

I don't like a man, man. It's too aggressive. I like I like hope in my I believed it though The problem is I believed it when I heard it You know, I mean because he's like talented at it. He's good. I think he's that you know, he's gonna rap at all Yeah, he's good. Oh, black. He's going to fast shit and everything. Oh, I mean, well especially now because you know It's like he's he would go wherever it was Did I mean Cat Williams goodbye now Man when his meltdown was the funniest thing ever well, I forget it. What was it the only one's funny or maybe we got choked up other kids

Yeah, he's got me because you guys you guys give me a little boy No boy crazy He goes they don't teach you nothing how to respect your elders Yeah, he was just going nuts on the shows and stuff. Yeah, snapping. Yeah, he's back now though. He's back to just sweating Yeah, he sweats a lot. He's killing it again. He sweats more than Whitney Houston sweaters And that was drug sweats. I mean, God damn did she sweat. She sweated a wig off on one of those shows. I actually heard that when she got into that tub, it was empty. She sweated it full of trash. She drowned. She's got her own sweat. She sang a song in the tub because it was good acoustics

and then sweat the death and No, but she can go he's right. I did I just believed it and then the the hard shift change He got whacked imagine that imagine somebody he thought it that song. What was it called again his song to Eminem? Rap devil rap devil was a good rap sure it was good. I mean he song to Eminem? Oh, rap devil. Rap devil. It was a good rap. Sure, it was good. I mean, he was smashing Eminem. And then Eminem, it was just so good. I mean, he's fucking came back in.

It's so good. It's one of my favorite Eminem songs, generally speaking. It's cool. I mean, it's so good. He made him switch careers in Data White Chick. I mean, it's nuts. It's nuts. Oh, yeah, he's definitely got a half black kid for sure.

Oh, 100%. You know, hang it around with cat limbs enough. I can drop it. Drop it some semen and some young, young black chicks. Oh yeah. Who we thought had beautiful long hair turned the bald head. Once the oil dries off that fat booty it starts you know the tiger claws down the side You don't know if you want to be with the girls got a panther tattoo grabbing on there We're fat tit for the rest of your life. She has a Mason tattoo. It's like you're a Mason Remazards my daddy Local one-eight one Yeah, are you playing is is rap devil song dude that my fuckers now?

That or you want kill shot. Oh, put on kill shot. I want from it. It's just so good Even the first few lines We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once.

We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once.

We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. We're doing this once. it on a starter cap. Stay and stay and son. Listen, man, dad isn't mad, but how you gonna name yourself after a damn gun

and have a man bun. Tients won't eyes open, undeniable, supplies smoke at the fire stove. So you got me in a scope, but you graced me. Take that black loop. Black loop checked out an hour ago and we started talking about white rap. He's like, yeah, sure, I guess, machine on Kelly sucks and the other one's good. Dude, yeah, his new stuff's way better. She ain't got Kelly has. That's dumb thing. I miss you.

She is a...I just want to believe something sucks in his life and it's probably her the rest of the time. But he's probably equally as dumb. Like I've met him briefly and he seemed pretty vapid. Famous people are stupid. Yeah, the most pretty vapid actors. Most actors are vapid, most famous people because when you don't have like, do we have the benefit of us? If I show up at the club with a certain thing or

I'm saying something you're gonna go what'd you just say? Well Bobby why are you wearing that you know and we're gonna you know what I'm having a hard time getting before even like to look yeah is like the vernacular holding up at all times like I couldn't imagine sitting next to somebody that was like yeah you want to watch this movie you know, I've never seen it before. You go, oh, you know what I'm saying? It's just mad, Litty. Stuff like a talking like that for real.

I'd be like, you don't have to do the character for me. Right now, it's like, you don't really, you call your mom and talk like that? Talk to me, you talk to your mom, please. I'm sorry. It's always funny when like some white girls do that sing song you shit, like, I'm not, until they get pulled over by the cops.

And then they're like, my mother told me and they just go back into who they really are. I don't even know No, why would they pull me over? Please let me go. I'm so sorry. I Have made a grave mistake, sir. Yes. That was when that fairie Abraham girl got arrested When you know I'm talking about the girl the teen mom girl. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Teo she used that fame so wrong. You think she's wealthy? There's no way if she's selling shit video. She's wealthy. I think that's the yeah, that's probably the barometer. If you have to sell shit videos, you need money. Well, I'll tell you, I found out in an interview with a porn star that what you think it would cost for a very pretty girl to shit on camera for

much is not let me guess let me guess. Well, let me tell you who first and so bring her up. I need to bring up the girl and so we what you think because this is nuts. And so Kendra Sunderland. Yeah, she was the okay see she was the girl gotten trouble kicked out of college for masturbating in the library, and then she went on to become a porn star. Bring her up nude. Let Bobby take a peek at how hot this girl is. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you, Jay. We're in a close. Oh my lord. So, go ahead, take a peek. Those titties are real. Can I say the one with the guy in the middle? Sure, with the one plow one. That's my favorite pose. One titt is going one way and the other titt's going the other way.

You know what I mean? When one titt's going down the down down Salem street and the other tits going down Johnson have. Yeah, I mean, that's my favorite. She's got a grace of the tits. She's got a God bless her a bush. She's everything you want in a woman. I love a bush.

You like a bush? Oh, exclusively. I love bush. I mean, I'll, I'll not, I've never walked away because a girl doesn't her a bush. She's everything you want in a woman. I love a bush. You like a bush? Oh, exclusively. I love bush. I mean, I'll not have never walked away because a girl doesn't have a bush, but I prefer 100% love a bush. Yeah, me too. And I'd rather than having like no bush, I'd rather have too much bush than no bush. I'd rather have too much bush than no bush too. Yeah, I mean, I don't want the bush to go to the butt. I don't want it to come down I don't want to come to the legs. I don't want to come in down. I don't really would I really if you could avoid it from hitting the belly button I'll be happy and I exactly I don't want a little trail up to the belly button either But it can be a full rectangle or triangle around your pussy. I'll take a square. You ever seen a square bush?

Sure. I love a square bush. Don't mind it at all. Nica nice square bush with like an inch high almost like a pastry. There is a I think Christine might rock a square bush. Square bush. I think she goes square. Wow. I like a square. For her body type, she feels it's the most flattering. Um, Kendra Sutherland, uh, I, we had her on SDR show on Zoom. And she was saying about, uh, we were asking about celebrity. She, she, she, and then I don't, I don't know if she even gave his names, but like maybe all fair, she did,

but if several celebrities have jumped into her DMs and she's fucked a few and some, like paid a hook up of theirs and she goes, I go, is there anything you won't deal with? Would you shit, like how much for you to shit on camera? And she goes, oh, that's like a lot. Okay. She's like, she goes, yeah, that's like a lot. She's like, she goes, yeah, there's like a price for sure,

but it would be a lot for that. And she never said she didn't or anything. I said, what, how much would it cost? What's the number? And she goes, oh, for that, yeah, she goes, oh, for that, at least, go ahead. $7,000. Lower.

Lower? Mm-hmm. $4,000. Lower. Lower. Yeah. $2.95? $2.95?

No, $2,95. No, lower. Lower. Yeah. Okay. Ready? I can't say this, Bobby. I'll save you a little time. Yeah. Get your mind out of the thousands. Oh my god. Okay. You're out of your mind. Okay. Here we go. $6.50. Lower. No! No! This girl. That girl. Yeah.

Lower than $6.50. Now this may have changed because she may have seen my reaction to this, but I may have ruined it, but I'll tell you what she said she would do it for. $150. No more. $255. Oh.

$319. 400. Oh. $500. Wow! N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n I got can't believe that's crazy and then she was like no, I'm not gonna do it right up It's like that's a wacky things I want $500. I want them to be extremely low. I want them to Christmas from my wife Candy Kendra's Sunderland True just got rip it a crap. I get she open to sweater I choose your gifts in the bedroom. Let's go in the bedroom. She's on the thing shit on a bucket One of those home depot, yeah, orange buckets.

You'll put your bucket in. Oh my God. It's amazing, right? It's unbelievable. I can't believe it. I thought she was gonna say, I thought at a low rate, I thought she would go for, no, I was like, I was throwing Ralph, I go,

just for the sake of that's crazy, how low that price is, Ralph, I go, Ven Venmo or people or whatever and I'll give you the cash for I can we just can't believe that this girl who's like what are doing famous in the world because it went viral that she got kicked out of school for doing the thing and then became a porn star right like a highly you know they were pushing her she's like sure popular porn that's all like you know the high-produced shit she's perfect and popular point. That's all like, you know, the high produced shit. She's perfect. And, yeah, dude, it's wild.

And then she just like, there was funny as I met her at the same time, I met another girl named Ginger Banks, who's also pretty hot, phenomenal body. I forgot that you're a Sevant with porn. No, I'm not. I just know that for the SDR shows, you know, we know some of the new ones. Oh, really?

I'm a Sevant on older porn, sure. Oh, okay, all right. I don't know any of their names, and I just recently, know, we I know some of the new ones. I don't I'm a savant on older porn. Oh, sure. All right. I don't know any of their names. And I just recently, today I know none of them. Like I look now because I can't ever find the one I like. Yeah. And I just really simply saw the names and you could keep the name.

So I have to put the names in my notes on my iPhone. So I can remember because I don't remember it. So I'll Google later her name and then it will come up. Before I look at pro porn from today, generally, I'll be going back to like that classic, like 80s, 90s, but just like Little grungy, like a little grungy, or then highly produced porn. Yeah, I yeah, highly produced porn is no good It's the same weird When you see like the the battery life left on the screen for the camcorder. Yeah, I like when the house looks like it's in Cleveland.

Yeah, exactly. It's like wood walls, paneling, shit paneling, you know, getting fucked in a shag rug. Yeah, I don't like that floating staircase porn. You know, everything's white and marble. If there's a staircase that it turns even two degrees in the middle of the staircase, I don't want to watch your shitty porn. I like shutters on the window. It's a gross place,

honestly. Yeah. Like the dining room table, like a girl's getting bent over and on the other side of the table, they get a half done puzzle. Yeah. They have humbles onbles on the on the where the books are a couple humbles Oh, I like when you see like their thing. It's a home video and it's like I saw one It's such a good porn. It's a Home video for sure, and it's these guys just It's a swingers thing and this girl just it's a Tampa Bay It's the I think the year that I think it was, she's wearing a Tom Brady Tampa Bay jersey

and it's half time of the game. They just, I guess, went on something and just gang banged. And it's such a mom looking lady and just neighborhood looking dudes. It's so crazy real looking. I love realism. I love a neighborhood looking mom.

There's one where this, she's just, it looks like somebody's wife, somebody's mom, next door, not to, you know, a little dumpy. Can I blow your mind with a girl right now? Can I throw you a name? Can I throw you a name? Can I throw you a name? Can I blow you real quick?

Sure, no, why not? With a name, I think you'll look up this girl's pornography a lot. Sounds very much what we're into in the world of porn. Yeah. There's porn, there's into in the world of porn. Yeah. There's porn. There's obviously younger crazy hotter porn stars. If you were like, you're your friend's hand right now. Sure. Obviously the young hot girls if you're like, would you want to fuck this girl? You big? Oh my god. Yes. But as far as just like what you can picture yourself in and doing and Jocelyn Stone will bring her up her up. A Tainable.

I like that. I like that. This girl today is why it's fresh in my mind. Really? And this is when I fell off this girl for maybe a year or two and I was like, oh yeah, she had great porn. I like this girl. She has a bush.

I don't know her name. I love a bush. I like the POV. Really? There's one where this girl comes in. Okay, this woman comes in and she's like, hey, is the party still going on? Yeah, it's kind of crazy.

Why are you up here? Oh, really? Is she mad at you still? It's okay, you'll get off. She'll do it. Oh, yeah. Oh, I mean, I think you're so cute. I'm so glad you're working out with, oh my God.

Yeah, oh my God. I'm going to fix my bra. I'm sorry. And dude, I am sorry. I didn't mean to. And dude, I am like what the fuck? And then she goes, can I just see it? And it's like, she's not, she'll never know. And I'm like, it's like my dream house party.

That is good. But do me a favor, be respectable, black, little, and respectfully if you know what I'm saying. Yes. Could you please go to a gang bang? If you're gonna bring one out, please, Justin Stone gang bang please. Hey yeah I mean if you're gonna go if you're gonna do it I mean you know do it. What do we do? What do we do? Well I don't do it here. A gang bang please. Do you like the perspective like I

don't I don't like first-person video games though either it's the same kind of thing I need to I like to watch the action happen. I like to see I mean this is really what I'm into now. And then I don't put myself in there. I never Lewis was getting, he said highly addicted to the VR porn. You can't do that. I don't get it at all.

Whoa. Now wait, we gotta get to her. What is VR porn? Virtual reality, like you're really in it. Whoa. Skip it, there we go. Skip it more. Whoa.

Well, let's really get the, Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's definitely a mom butt. Yeah, let's get the little when they Jacob this turns you off completely this woman for me, but I see Let me tell you something who's all about this DJ Lou, don't you fucking make a face? I'm all in you go this girl, if you pull this girl from a bar one night, you'd be like, okay, hell of a night. Yeah. You want to see what I'm into? Yes.

Type in white girl on train molested by Chinese guys. All right. By Asians. Just put Asians, gotta be. I think they could be Korean. I have no idea. Mm-hmm. Dude, this, when you get it, let me see it, Just put Asians got out of there could be Korean I have no idea This when you get it let me see it and I'll show you if it's the right one my

Dude I this is my favorite one being it you have to be in that dude. Oh you bang it Google doesn't let you do stuff anymore Bing Jacob told us years ago when we get right for going the show being is my I always go to lobster tube But then Bing is my second Go to what's lobster tube. It's just a good cataloging of all the porn sites. I okay. Let me see the video. Can you go to the video of images? I'll show you if it's the one.

You got a right porn or rape just comes up. Yeah, really? Yeah, we don't want to watch the rape. The word rape is in some way. Yeah, dude, you got a right porn. Yeah, there you go. Okay, there you go. Okay, where you look at that image, go to videos. Yeah, dude, you got a very porn. Yeah, there you go. Okay, there you go. Okay, uh, uh, where is it?

Look at that image, go to videos. Yeah, go to video, go to video. I'll see, I can't see. Uh, point, uh, what? What's this? No, you got to do porn. Is it porn in there? No, here's what you have to do.

Go to, go to, go to, go to the right. Go to, see where it says moderate on the top. Take that off. Boom. Boom. Opens up a whole new world. Ha, ha, ha, scroll down. Scroll, okay, we're getting this. Scroll down. Off boom boom opens up a whole new world

Scroll down scroll up. Okay, we're getting this scroll down. It's a blonde girl Okay, scroll that there's so many of them. Did you type blonde? Did you put blonde you got to put blonde you can't just put girl you got to put blonde and okay scroll down. No, scroll down. Oh, there it is. No, scroll down. Scroll down.

Oh, I see. There. It's that one, right? Nope, it's not that one. Not even that one. No, it's not that one. I've watched that one. It's not that one.

It's not as good. It's not as good. Scroll down. This is the one that started it all. Nope, keep scrolling. Keep scrolling. You want the one you want, you want the one you want. I know that's feeling. You can't get the one you don't want.

Keep scrolling. Oh my God, why is it not coming up? I always like this one. I have a favorite Jacob that you might not like all. Same thing, because the girls aren't even that hot, but it's that money talks. Used to be a pretty popular porn site. And the idea was they were offering people money on the fly to do things. It's set up for sure.

But they somehow get, they somehow get in this one video, girls who, they're working at a taco place, like they're in the drive through window wearing the uniforms. And they go like, yeah, well, they come out and they hang with you guys for a little and they come out to a van and ones like Chubby and like doesn't have a good body. Like she's like Chubby with small tits and the other girls like got a good body but she's faces not good and I love that scene just because they get a van and these mussely big dick ass hole guys just fun. It's so great. I don't know why That was it when bang bus first came out. Yep. It was like this is same. It was the same Same production thing is all that all that Miami shit. I can't where is it low?

Where is it what site did you see it on Bobby? It was on I googled it. I just googled it and it comes up. Maybe that's it Well, it's got the new blah blah blah. Go back down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down Well, no, up, up, up, up, one, is that it? No, that's not it. Try, try, try. It's, did you put, we're not gonna find it. No, we're not gonna find it. Damn it. That's okay, it's okay. Anyways, this girl's on the train

and it's so uncomfortable. She's just sitting there and she's surrounded by all these guys. And the one guy just starts rubbing her butt and she keeps slapping his hand away. And then another guy and she keeps slapping hands away. And then they start grabbing it all over and then she keeps just pushing hands away. And then another guy, and she keeps slapping hands away. And then they start grabbing it all over and they keep just pushing hands away.

And then it just gets to the point when they just rip a boo bout. And then she just goes to gang bangs all of them. On a train, like a moving train. Like it's not, like they don't have a money to get like a green screen to have the, I mean, the country side is moving by. I feel like you have a great narration of pornography. Black Luke,

could you go to today's, you go to eFuck.com and click on what video I tell you to click on, Bobby, don't look at the screen just yet. I will. I'd like to hear your play by play of a video I found the other day on eFuck, which is a site I go to once in a while. It's got weird porn stuff. I would love to, Jay. It's the second video, please. I'm not gonna look. I mean, I would like to say, though, I concur with Jay.

I think you do a beautiful description. Thank you. I appreciate that. I make the person want to make it the full screen so he doesn't see the title because it's going to really give it away. These computers must have been there. You got worse viruses. No, don't These computers must have. There you go. Where's the viruses? No, don't you dare.

Go ahead, yes, please. In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Oh, does this suck? Oh, but I know them all, but do you know they recast what? Pause it for a second. Get past that so you don't see what it says at the bottom there. They fuck, I forgot I was going to say already. I was so excited for this video. Did you forget it? Totally

for God at the beginning of the thing when they the ads. Oh, they recast a girl. They used to be a girl that was the same all the time and I remember because how long it takes to get to the skip ad. Right. She go the guy goes where she goes take off your shirt. And he goes you first. And she goes, take off your shirt, and he goes, you first, and she goes, deal. And then like takes her shirt off, and they've recast it. It's now the same thing, but it's just two different people.

The same exact script that it goes, take off your shirt, you first. Deal. The new girl is a ginger and plays it a little different. It's so loud though, They make it they make the these ads are louder So I'm in my hotel room and you got the volume set to for the porn Mm-hmm, but then the ad comes on because you want to fuck my ass you fucking Yeah, see if you go or when it's like see if you can hold your come for 40 seconds while an orc bangs of a Valkyrie I just hear a little kid in the mom walking the dogs from next door

Mom, what's that? It's nothing honey. It's terrible. You know, yeah, the ads are always yeah She's a girl masturbating always screaming. Yeah, or it's that guy goes learn how to make girls squirt with just the one lesson Well, that's when we used to watch the points in New York and the Peep shows. They had the A, B and C button and then you had other, like, you could go. So that one had that. There's a three channel. There's like a hundred videos.

But when you got to the thing you liked, everybody could hear it. Out in the thing. So it's like, yes, suck my cock. No, you suck my cock. I guess Guy and Poo Three's going. It looks like someone found this channel. Bobby S. you can describe this please. Yes. And you know you think the volume office will have Bobby. Oh I guess you can leave some volume

on a little bit. It's two beautiful young European girls. I was with European girls with That's beautiful, two beautiful young European girls. I love European girls with a hairless leg. Some type of maybe Indian blood because that is here. And the vagina is a clean. Echelina European. Echelina European. And now she is applying a condom to one of the girls foot. Yes.

Let's put your foot. This is food. This is food. Food. Fart. Like that. And. I'm going to right now. And she's sideways putting her, I believe, a six and a half

foot. I was going to buy her shoes. It would be a six and a half. Yes. Well, I was going to go DSW and maybe get her a sandal. Not some LA gears or something. Yeah, six and a half, seven, maybe. Applying their foot sideways into the other woman's

beautiful, hairless vagina. No, no, no, you're wrong about that, Holly. I apologize, let me back up. That is her asshole. Yes. Oh, hey. Jay. Yeah. Jay. Yeah. Jay, there's a. Yes. Oh, hey. Jay. Yeah.

Jay. Yeah. Jay, there's a shin bone. It's a shin bone. It's up to the shin. It's up to the shin. And by the way, Bobby, now, if you could take a peek. No, no, no.

Take a peek at the belly. Her foot is in the stomach. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's like an alien. Yeah. Before the alien comes out.

Yeah, and then she's still talking about like, it was like that was earlier today. That's not healthy. No, it's not healthy. I'll never argue with that. Something's knocked. Something's it. That can't be real.

Something's it, it's real. I think this, you think this country has fucking special effects? Yeah, what do you think? They're in the Avengers studio and it like that. It's dope. But that does look like it. This is an industrial light magic. What do you think they're in the Avengers studio? This is an industrial light magic. This is the craziest party trick I've ever seen. I know could you imagine and I thought quee thing was wild

She's howdy getting it out super dangerous moving all our And it's out everyone anyway, but wait so by the way no dukey at all dude does note Jason it's farting by the way. It's making farting Jason. Yes, Jason. What Jason? Yes, well We couldn't find the blonde girl getting the last time train Jason I can't. You just did something to me forever. I'll never unsee that. Things are different now. It's like that lake that curled your hair. Something's different. I can't get out of my head.

Yeah, I can't get out of my head. Yeah, I couldn't live with that alone any longer. Dude, I don't want that in my life. I always check E-Fuck, because sometimes it's a funny idea or something on there. Jay. I can't I love you buddy But I don't want it in my life. Oh, I need to get that out of my life Someone get the men and black thing that makes people forget Playing our Kelly song, but I one of the rock ones, please something. I need to hope in my life Give me a little MG. You know we'll take a break we'll take our last break. Please. I gotta read some commercials

Oh, and we'll rinse this out. Oh God. It was red. Why such a deep red. I mean oh The out there inside was on our outside. Yeah, that's what you call it looks like that was an in that was the inside They call it a rosebud and I don't think it's healthy. Oh, it's like the movie hell razor I don't think it's healthy. Yeah, it's really oh What's the farting do get it off the thing. Oh, yeah, take it off. Just audio. Oh my god It looked like a like a it looked like a Tropical fruit like an exotic fruit that it did have a flicks of pomegranate like Anthony Bourdain would eat somewhere No, it's too red.

It's like a candy apple red. We're gonna take a break. Please take a break. We're gonna let Bobby Regoup. We're gonna be okay. We can't treat a link to this, but we can tell you what's a- Oh my god she kissed it. She kissed it.

Oh she sucked it. She sucked it. She sucked it Jay. I didn't have control over this Yeah, she does yes she sucks it. Yeah, she she she looks She looks it for sure. We're gonna Jacob real quick up here. He look me right off you please I'm doing stuff Robert Kelly is gonna be

I'm doing stuff. Robert Kelly is going to be hopefully. Robert Kelly is going to be at Comics Come Home, TD Garden of Ember 12th. In Boston, Comedy Connection, Rhode Island of Ember 17th to the 19th. Dan Soder going straight from Wedding Bliss. He's going to be going over to Zaini's Nashville this weekend. That's Friday and Saturday. After that, he's going to be a Michigan Houston Brooklyn Philadelphia for tickets and all

their tour dates go to dancota.com. And everybody checking out this weekend at Wiseguy Salt Lake City. John Carden with me there. John Carden's going to be on the road of Bunch's first time for him going to Utah. So I'm excited to bring him there and have a great weekend after that. Denver, Colorado, the comedy works downtown. And then Philadelphia home for Thanksgiving weekend in Austin, Texas after that particularly until it's go to bigjcomedy.com we'll be right back this is the

bonfire. And now back to the bonfire with Big J. Yeah, what a twink How's your case such a hairless boy? I've got the body of a fucking hairless cat Love it it wrong with pussy yeah Jacob They found your video about it. Oh, I mean I'll show you the taco girls your video about it. Oh, I mean, I'll show you the taco girls. Taco girls is great. We're the one girl, the chubby one just

aids the other two people fluggers. Yeah, there's always that in the threesome, the helper. Yeah, the airholder. Yeah, she becomes the assistant of the fucking. Hey, can you change the reservations real quick for tonight's dinner? We're just gonna call. I've yeah, I've said this on the show before we have the stuff I said you can't like it's me and Christine and a girl I can't so just hooking up with the girl it's just like it's a bad look in that regard it looks weird and if me and Christine start going that person's like the guest so they're kind of like it so it's got to be the girls always yeah starting and then there's just that's it

did I if it? If it would, if it would not distract them, I'd vacuum. Like just to do something. Do you do your chores? Get stuff done. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, I actually have to go wrap up my chords from my mo2. I had to do a remote. I get some precious presents. I'm going to wrap up the book while you guys are in here. I just, when I was using the example of I did do is force filling ice trays. I filled ice trays while while two two girls were like you know, dicking off on the couch. And I was

like oh, I spilled a little. It's fine. I was going by the way I spilled a little bit. I just leave it on the floor. I get the paper towels. I wipe it down. I'm just kind of kill time until they go get over here. You go, oh yeah, it's gonna happen anywhere. You're absolutely right. I had two girls come to my house. One I knew, one was the one I was with. She knew I always wanted that. She brought this juicy Italian girl, big nose, big boobs, big bum, thin waist.

And I lost my mind and I just started. I lost it because we were both making out and I was going back and forth, but the Italian girl let me stick my finger in her butt. Nice. And that just made me go nuts Yeah, and I just rolled over her way and I bumped the other girl off the bed and I had a futon and she hit her head on the wooden piece of the bed And you slats one of those slats. You heard ow And we didn't stop and then we just like five minutes later she was standing over us closed

I'm gonna go she had an ice pack on her head because she went the other room to get ice Let's get take off she goes I'm gonna take off the girl was like I'll go I got to go to right now I was like no, please do the worst one Not the worst but the worst disappointing thing of one was a Mean Christina like this is a Christine still drinking and stuff to was, uh, me and Christina, like, this is a Christine still drinking and stuff too. I brought back this Asian girl who was like a young comic and her friend who was really hot. Did the Asian girls really hot too? I knew her. She's the one I got new also. And, uh, she brought her friend over who was crazy. At her and Christine were hitting it off great and

like going at it. They were basically going at and that girl who Christine was hooking up with in the like her phone kept going off. And like so I think I was going off on the table. I think I like slapped it onto the couch so it would not make noise anymore and it kept going into that Asian girl. That nosy fucking Asian girl comes over. She goes, hey, I think you're like, like somebody keeps calling for you. She goes oh I got to check this and then it's like, I mean I want to paint this picture for you. I feel Christine would tell the story it doesn't matter. The girl's foot was up on the bathroom countertop and she was like holding like the door handle. I flex Christine was Munching her box from below and they give this girl a this girl goes. Hello. Oh

Hey No No, no way. Please don't say this that oh man I got it and it's something like her dad like at a heart attack right then had to go to the hospital So so she She throws her clothes she sober's up real quick darts out the place. And the Asian girl didn't want to like fuck necessarily. So she sat with her boobs out and watched me and Christine fuck.

And then when I was going to finish, she like grabbed my weener with two hands and like helped to eat it. Situation. Surprise. God kid her father. And what she was doing. Oh, hey, then I came right, I came as soon as I heard, where were you, honey, I hope I didn't take you away from anything,

because I was just getting my boxy in front of an audience sort of at a hotel room, a stranger I didn't know, but I'm here now, daddy. Remember all that stretching you made me do for Circus O'Lay as a child? Yeah, I was using that technique. Jesus, man. What a fun, I mean.

The emotional go-and-a-from, like, I'm like, yo, this is about to be fucking wild and crazy. If the Asian girl just goes tits out the whole time, that's fine too. It's just like a carnival happening. You should have thrown that phone in a fish tank. Yeah, I was fine. Why would you?

I just saw it in the Asian girl's phone, like, your phone keeps ringing. So it must be important. I heard that phone keep ringing. And I assumed it it in the Asian girls, and I was like, your phone keeps ringing, so it must be important. I heard that phone keep ringing, and I assumed it might be your father having a heart attack, and I just put it on the couch to avoid it from ruining what's happening. I go, you know what, someone's calling so much,

this must be a family member having a heart attack. So let me get this off the table, so it stops annoying us all. Let me smush this between the cushions. Hey, anybody see my phone is going off? I don't think so. I found things out. I think it was mine.

No, I know it's I have some alarm set. It just starts crying. I'm just looking at our text messages. Dad's dead. Well, the other one I had a phone call, makes something good, bad was when I did a last time, several times ago that I was in Denver at that comedy works.

A girl came to my show the first night and then came back the last night because she said she would because she was a waxer, professional waxer. And from the show we were talking about, they do nostrils now. Yeah, they do nostrils now. And I was like, no way. Like getting rid of your nose hair all the way up for Like a month or something she was like yeah absolutely so she came back and did it and then she She loaded up like you know the thing the nostrils

She put both the what is called the popsicle sticks on my nose with the wax yeah and she did I was the first person going to So everyone's like a free. I think Kometsir was there at me watching and we're all like Christ Oh, yeah, you should use fence poster Yeah, those nostrils are meant to eat hair to make sure he doesn't fucking suck up a marble or something Because 78,000 worth of wax. Oh my god. They have to use the wax. They pour off of castle sides. You guys had to stop at a church. Ah. So, so she puts these things in my nose.

She goes, are you just got to let these sit for a little bit? She goes, also, same thing. My phone keeps ringing. And she calls. Does it seem like, no. No, no. She goes, I want to, she goes, I want to to and I think any letterman was filming this at the time too Because I'm sitting in this thing. I'm nervous because she's so frazzled now and she keeps walking by and she's like no

She goes well. I went an autopsy. I want a fucking autopsy then because this is crazy I need an autopsy and then she walks by and I'm sitting there with pops to stick my nose like this walks by and I'm sitting there with popsicle sticks in my nose like this, breathing out of my mouth. And she walks by at one point and she goes, I can't believe this is happening. And she grabs the popsicle sticks but like with full force grabs them but let's go immediately. So it was like a head fake. She goes, and I went, ah! And then she didn't do that. And then she, she kept walking around and she went into the other room and started to like hysterical crying and she came out and I had to go in there and we had to go out and I had to open the door with sticks coming out and I was going, hey, that's not the night. And she was like, my dog just died. And I was like, oh, I thought it was way worse than that. You're lucky you're ass waxed. Did it?

It didn't. It's fine. Took those things out. But God damn it. And then also I think you're not supposed to do that. What? You're ass? No, I don't think you should wax the inside of your nostrils like that.

No, you can get, I got my ears lasered because I got hair in my ears. Yeah. So for my birthday, this one, you know, your wife just is disgusted with you physically. Yeah. Oh my god. That was my birthday present. Yeah. So for my birthday, this is when, you know, your wife just is disgusted with you physically. Oh my God. That was my birthday present. Yeah. She goes, I got you this, I opened up, it's there to be barred.

Hard to tell New York. She goes, it's free ears. Oh really? Thanks you fucking. You awesome though. I mean, it was awesome. The girl was smoking hot. Oh, that's the worst.

You have to have something grow. Did I have a assist cut off by my, it's just like it's by my dick. It, I had to have a assist cut off by my, it's just like it's by my dick. It was in my leg, but it was like by my balls, and so it's like a girl, and then a pretty girl comes in to do it, and you're like, hey, this is probably because I'm fat. Oh, this is probably because my body rubs against itself.

It was the worst, dude. I have skin tags, you know, those little fat guy things that you're on, and I had one by my ass. I don't know, just little fat guy thinks I'm your armpit. And I have one by my ass. I don't know, just being fat, I went into the doctor. And he, he, he was just an old dude, I might call him cool with him. And then he goes, hang on a second. And he brings his hot little assistant.

I was like, hang on a second, Miss Philippines is here. And she goes for the hot topic content. She walks in, she goes, he says you're a comedian. I'm like, you piece a shit Yeah, they had a dead of freeze my skin tags off. Oh Like let me take a look at you. How could I what where could I watch your comedy? I had my my my I had a warts to I had to have taken off that was that was terrible the jet with the free stuff Well, you can't do it. They used to burn them off back in the day

But they found out that we was disgusting. My first one, they put this, it was, you had to go to a hospital hospital, lying at bed, and there was three people in the room, maybe four, and they put a blue ink on your dick, and then they get a black light so they can see the warts. And then they would burn them off, but they found out when you burn them off,

the smoke had the warts stuff in it. And if they breathed it in, they would get the warts. No shit. Yeah. So now that's why they freeze them. They freeze them off now. Not that I go every Tuesday. I don't have like a running tab with my dog.

You guys, they freeze them now. I've heard. Yeah. If Lemmy would have just found that, I know we have to, like the a running tab with you guys they freeze him now. I've heard yeah Yeah, if let me would have just found that I know we have the show dude you'd have to fucking flew by it. It's done two minutes Yeah, this we found the porn look at her. Yeah, I mean she is show or oh look that's a really phenomenal ass I mean wait for your sheer face and she get look at the hand. She keeps pushing it away. Watch this. I have the eyes. Her body's awesome. She's insane. She's insane. And like you said, bit of a thick mom thing about her. Thick mom, she's a business woman. Tied in business, blonde, business, molest trained porn. Actually put porn. How cute is she? Very. Do they fuck her? It was underwear fantastic. Bobby, do they fuck her? Do you know? A hundred you know 100% oh they do okay? Well, she does a lot of things Does anybody put a foot in her ass? No no for uh?

Why I forgot about it. It's disgusting. It'll haunt you that's gonna ruin like a lot of cereal. Yeah, that's so red That was a bath. I get it's gonna ruin a bath you take that's pastry red. It's gonna ruin your next few wipes That's for sure when they wipe you're like I'm not doing that kind of damage to my shit Are I my god dude look at that look at the look at these guys guys reaching in like it's a buffet I'm like ah not I'll take some Bobby can I see question. Yeah, please are they gonna tear those pantyhose? They tear the yeah, you like a nice tear in a pantyhose I'll tell you what only from ads. I've seen I've never looked it up But in ads that I've seen when they tear yoga pants. Yeah, and you see the little charge come out. Yeah, pretty great

You know what played it louder over the plugs, please Bobby has to make you feel that Bobby Kelly is gonna be a comics come home at TD Garden of Ember 12th To make you feel good you dirty little pig Why am I why is this turning me on my comedy connection to Rhode Island? Yeah, you like Rhode Island. I do. I love it. I like it. Don't you see food than the best clubs ever.

That's November 17th to the 19th. Everybody and check out Killbox is special available now. Dan Soder dot com for all his dates. Zany's Nashville this weekend. As much as I am in Salt Lake City this weekend at Wise Guys tomorrow through, uh-huh, get it girl, get it girl, bigjcommy.com,

get it girl, oh whack it, oh good forcing, moving her hand to whack you off, that was hot. Oh man, maybe this is my thing. Thanks for listening. Don't forget that the Bonfire is a radio show, a full show. We got a studio and everything. You can listen to us on SiriusXM or on the SXM app. It's basically the same thing. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.

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