The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Forbidden Love Amongst The Family (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

The Great Ari Shaffir joins The Bonfire as a caller named Amanda tells of her own family's forbidden love that they are very proud of.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com @BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com @RIPAriShaffir www.AritheGreat.com#CrackleCrackle

Hey, I'm Big J. Okreson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Black Lou said that we need to take Amanda's call next. S-A-P. I know. I want to wait for our guests to come on. Black Lou said that we need to take a band just call next.

SAP. I know. I want to, should we wait for a guest to come on though? SAP, if he's not going to respond, if that's the game, he's going to find. The fun train is going to miss him. But he's going to just pop in at some point on this pretty intense. I think he's our first real ass dude of the week.

Ari, if you just stiff this. Yeah, that'd be great. He's not stiffing us. I just played basketball in this morning. Dave ball basketball bros of the art Yeah, I Is built like he looks like he's Are you good? Yeah long skinny. I had a shit day today. It's all right. Hey, no, hey, I was lazy yet wasn't hit It was okay now now Amanda. I gotta get down there and put the time more. Amanda's calling in.

Where is she even calling? Amanda, where are you calling in from? Oh, I'm just close to her. I am calling from Cleveland. Nice. I like trash. I love Lake Trash. Let's get into it.

Hey! Well, so here's the thing. This van my aunt actually is not in Cleveland. She's a New Yorker okay North that's like that's up that's oh really city girl really and she is married to her cousin whoa your aunt married your cousin that's so Metro her cousin her cousin and which is your second cousin yep he while it's her second cousin i think okay and clear he refers to her as

cut like they refer to each other as cousin oh but i believe it's second cousin where did you look did they live in manhattan uh-huh oh yeah their new yorkers like born and raised sprawis mechristine it's right mechristine her time oh my. I don't know what I do. That shake me up I think me and Christina kissing cousins. Oh my oh my god. Oh my god. I really

He chose backs with we were back in Armenia They knew like they would he talks all the time about how he knew he loved her since they were six years old Yeah, he's like, it makes it hotter. He goes, so we played doctor and it turns out she is the only one that can get my heart right up. Remember we used the scissor in the tub? Yeah. Um, that's pretty horrible.

Did they? He likes about it. Like they do Facebook lives and he talks about how like he got married just cousin and the love of his life is everyone Disgusted wow, what a fucking weird are the she have any does she ever ever saw her everything where she's like Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, see if they're good at attention does matter if it's good or bad attention has the fact as the family accepted it or they like is there one like weird at thanksgiving and shit

i mean like so here's a thing we have my parents who are like my family is in Ohio the rest of the more in the york and we're kind of like separated from the New Yorkers. So I really don't know how the New Yorkers truthfully feel about it. I know that we think it's super strange, and we think it's not like something

he should be openly begging about. Yeah, I tell you, if you say half the family, if you say half the families in Ohio and any place, and the other half in New York, one of them has inbreeding in their family, you'd probably. You wouldn't think it's the New York. Nine out of 10 times. I think you'd be right. I don't know the people who call soda pop. Yeah, I don't know. This but now. If you put out, no, don't listen. You guys win. The big win for Ohio today and

that these fucking hillbilly. Turn it off. Ohio today and that these fucking hillbillies youtubers fucking kissing cousins over it's these have a new family fuckers over at their big buildings and their fucking these high-rise cousin when you bang your cousin it's New York now Austin's better than Sherwin Apezza with your favorite cousin and best gal and it's just Don't you start fucking your family? I want to be a part of it Incess

Incessed That's great damn The longest relationship she's had They've been in the air Imagine being the number two spot. You don't walk away from blood you can't you don't walk away from family i've watched the fast and furious movies to know that that's her longest it's her longest romantic relationship out you know walk away from the game we can't ditch it what are you going to do the Christmas party you can pick your

friends can't pick your family man the fact that they're so proud of it is the disgusting part. If they were just like, if they were like, if it happened and they're like, listen, I understand it's gross. I love Charles, we are a good couple, but instead of her being like, that's right, I'm second from the same well

that my grandfather was born from. Oh! I mean, like, almost when it comes up, it should be like, you guys are cousins, like, distant cousins. So anyway, he's not even trying to shoot it away. He opens up, he goes,

hello cousins and lovers home. Hey, guys, what's the weirdest thing you've heard all day? I'll start, my wife is my cousin. How do you go? My wife is my cousin. Now you go. My wife's my cousin. You go. My wife. You're a child.

Then we have a talk. It's a little improv thing I like to do before I start conversation. It's a little truss, little truss fall exercise when you start over here. I'm going to tell you something about me. You're going to tell me something about you. I married my cousin now you go.

I'm married. I nightly have sex with my first cousin now you go. I blow loads into a family member you go now you say it You ever think I cheated in college. Yes. Oh I'm starting off with that instead of my thing. We'll do my mind's not a big deal What was it? You know my project? I was stretching. I thought to find something weird yeah no mine was a fifth birthday party I just really wanted to hold I've been in love with you since you were six you were

two whatever I was afraid of the dark So it's the long story of the air been so they came back so in his mind also they came back around Right like they Like they talk about how they you know were separated for like 40-some years or whatever and then they find out they're older. Oh, no, they're old. Can I ask you a question Amanda? I'm in their 70s now. I mean can I can I ask you a question? Did they come to get did they come together after they had children with separate people? Yes after they had children with separate people. Yeah. Oh, they're poor. So their kids are like 40 something.

Oh, no. The kid is fully grown. The kid is an adult, knows that his mom's a little off. So it's not a shocker, necessarily. But yeah. So if you might have a said it said it goes dude he goes you know Uncle Jerry's coming over. Yeah, I'm good Jerry He goes out. Yeah, Uncle Jerry's go again. Why no listen? I can't talk that much shit

It's not related, but my mom did date my godfather. No my mom was getting the fucking pipe down by Uncle Tommy, but I'm telling you know we all that's the difference between getting skimmed by a bullet and getting straight up shot by it Yeah, these are there's no blood relation in these things here this ones we and I they made a decision I mean the in their 70s to do this Yes, like well in there like I think there were like 50s when they first met but yeah Man, oh man if you're in your 50s and you're like are we doing this? We're like 50 years old and you're like Sorry my grandkids turned five, but are we doing this? We're like 50 years old and you're like, sorry, my grandkids

turned five, but are we doing this? I think we are, because it's, cousin loving, happy so fast, cousin loving, happy, we made it six, then we made out. can we Amanda can you give black blue the names so we can look them up on Facebook I can and I will like the one like literally has like husband and loving cousin of this person yeah shut the fuck up put we're gonna put you on a whole real quick and we're gonna be we're not wasn't I worth it a worthy call oh my god man we're gonna bring you back on the air we just real quick we put you on hold we're gonna put you on hold yeah just you can tell Lou what to look up so you can give us the

names so we don't give away their names because I want to look into your cousin fucking family yeah I want to see them I just want to see them I want to see them and I want to see them I just want to see that I want to see them and I want to see the writing that says Because of it husband and cousin too. I mean, I can't believe they're both okay with that you think in that situation One of them are both in love one of them's going like hey, hey, you know what? I don't I'd be honest with you. I don't like the feedback we're getting the much goodness out there Hey, can I tell you I'm getting some side-eye from Hey, can I tell you I'm getting some side eye from I love you so much James, but I think we're in a bit of a pickle here because I got to tell you that the press the the press is in

And I ain't looking good reviews are down. I was maybe just say wife just wife's fine because literally you're not lying No, you are very we are you're just so Mining the fact that we're first country. I mean you're really like walking up and saying like you're walking to a club and yelling You have a herpy you know, I mean just just don't do that. Yeah, chill out Oh, our guest is here our guest popped on looking like he was ready to tackle incest Absolutely with the tapestry with the poster behind him. It looks like he's in a place that's cool It really does. Yeah, he's saying I'm taking up the Beatles. We're smoking grass He's back on tour with dates coming up in Pittsburgh Nashville Tacoma Spokane Miami Houston in Orlando. It's Ari Shafir You can go are you the great comm Thanks a lot, Dan. I just quick quick question are you trying to take over the

the drops king crown from fes no what are you talking about he was the old king of the drops uh he was the best at it and you just did a great job and i'm wondering now with his absence so you trying to fill that vacuum are you mean the plugs the I mean, the plugs. Yeah. Yeah. That would be I'd be honored to follow in Fezza's footsteps is the plug. He was good. He was good at plugs for God damn sure. He was great. Ari, you came on a good day. We came on a good day. We were talking about, we're talking about incest and it's out there, buddy. On the phone right now, we have a caller from way we hold on. What what level of incest we talked about? First cousin. First cousin's married and proud of it.

And proud. I mean, back together later in life, are you? Well, we're about to look up is their Facebook profile where he says, be loving husband and cousin to, and then his wife's name. That's crazy. Also, Ari, they had fully grown children and then married their cousin. That's tough.

I mean that, no, that makes it, wow, it's harder for the children, but I mean, it makes it harder for the problem. The problem with incest is the retardation. Exactly. Do you have to pick the picture? You've taken that out. Exactly.

I guess you're saying that. Now thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the

thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the

thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I'm not saying that's the thing. I look good. A man gave us the name of her Uncle cousin. And well, yeah, it's just technically her cousin. Yeah, also a good day. He calls in. We had a guy rob earlier who got

raped by all his baby, his female babysitters. At 4.89. I'm so glad. And nine. Wait his female babysitters at 4.89 I'm so glad Yeah, and nine wait multiple babysitters. Yeah, dude. They couldn't get enough. They couldn't get enough He was babysitter. He was four years old. They were all over his shit. He was babysitter child there You want to go on a babysitter? One baby's biting around. Oh, yeah, dump some fucking robin. Oh, we got some amazing calls on here Unless unless the babysitter's recommended each other. It's a it's a crazy coincidence

Do you want some good dick go to this kid's house? Yeah, you got you got to go over the mixed patterns. Oh What's your doctor of Oh, husband and cousin and a doctor. Oh my God. What's your doctor of? You know, very I do now. That's the most kissing cousin picture of everyone. It really is. That's why they look like they're old. They don't know how to kiss right.

They just clists up that strong, close mouth. Oh, there's nothing less sexual than watching two old people just clunk fucking kiss each other. Oh God is Amanda still on the phone Amanda you're on with the great Ari Shafir Hello Amanda Amanda Are you do you know them? That's yeah, it's her aunt by the way before you see what it says before husband and cousin Of the beautiful doctor. It says also first a hater of fresh. There's a lover of

Liberty he loves the fruit of the fucking around Yeah, right. What is that? Williams man. Let me tell you like oh, I bet so I bet this guy would get along real good with a one David Smith Do you get this guy one of these comments say oh man who's commenting a heart picture on you kissing your cousin? Okay, there's got more loves in the hope to see you back then I see both of the family reunion back then in North Carolina I didn't care how I looked as long as we were kissing. Oh my Christ

I'm wearing some weird sticks cult. Oh my god. I don't think so. Oh They might be like Swinger people though. Yeah, maybe Swinger people as long as you're a kiss more than oh I mean does anyone go. Hey, this is against God. Yeah, you shouldn't do this. Yeah, stop. Why are you why are you muddying up your your blood? You shouldn't God damn do this. This is what I'm saying. I do. The comments we just found members going stop it. You're humiliating all of us and we're upset. Hey, Dan uncle, Uncle Junior wants to know if you put a bomb in A.

Should I go and cut the hair in his face? Yeah, I did. Hey, Dan uncle uncle junior wants to know if you put a Bomination on cuz Yeah, I did Yeah, that was me back at myself. I can't hold you using posting pictures. I came home seven beers deep and just saw it popped up at my feet Oh, man, I know what he flies. He's like, hey, I know you can't take bombs on here, but keep taking a bombination Oh, he's so oh, yuck. Oh, man go to about what does the family say? I that's that's okay. So like I told them She's always been a little bit off and is like very much a all attention is good attention no matter what it is So like they all just kind of like I will say this happened after both of their parents passed. So like it's literally just her siblings and like

those of us that are young. At least they had the class to wait till their parents died before they did this. Because they were in love. They were in love for a long time. They waited. Also the six he says also the question becomes when one parent died Did the other person want their parents to die faster so they could fuck their cousin? The answer is yes I like also though. It's like hey man You probably shouldn't be fucking and marrying your cousin. He goes. Oh, I don't realize you are a fascist I myself a lover of liberty. Oh, I love absolutely being liberated from any judgment

So I'm a I'm I'm staying for liberty damn Amanda. You got a fucking gross family, but we love you for it I see your Armenian. This is this is normal in your culture, isn't it? Jewish people have to get genetic testing before they get married. Oh Jewish people have to get genetic testing before they get married. Oh, damn. I think Christine had that in her back pocket. Wow. It was cold-hearted. Yeah, that really was.

Oh, she's had that written on a piece of paper. Oh, I already... It says, for Ari. She was ready for a debate. She was pulling. She knew I'd bring that up. Pulling piece of Ari incesses. I don't know, Mary until 5th cousin Ari. Jesus. Debate and she was pulled and bring that up Pulling case of Aryan Seth's record.

Mary until fifth cousin Ari. Jesus. All right. I was the guest on this podcast. Radio show. Sorry, I apologize. Oh, we don't get it. It's a podcast, too.

Tell your friends. Oh, oh, wow. You guys owe people some apologies. Yeah, one of our, one of our people hung up because he was just like, I can't compete with that. That's a pretty wild one, Amanda. I uh, thank you for calling in. I hope the so gross show.

Gross. Like practicing, but they are Jewish. So they didn't go to temple. They didn't. But yeah, they're and I can send you guys her like I toldato and i don't think she has her facebook anymore but she has a website and it's just as cray as

his facebook page brain what's her way that we saw it in we have a look at up to give you a look at what's up why she have a website what do you think she does all i'm saying is

i thought you said she's a website? What do you think she does all I'm saying is I said she's a doctor, right? Yeah Let's keep her name out of it, but let's see what kind of cook you doctor is she is if she's licking cousin Because if she if someone's a doctor that's great. It's gonna be a doctor of something like she has your head cold She goes to some kind of shit. She has you have a head cold drink your cousins come I think she's a doctor Will this really can't hurt all of her recommendations are fucking your cousin Listen I'm gonna send you home with all right first of all some time. I'll go to you You're not sleeping too much sleeping through the night. Are you eating late? Are you fucking your cousins?

Have you tried to fucking therapy? She's into bees, dude. This might be her. This is what I... Oh no, it is. Now I'll think about the picture that makes sense. Oh yeah, there she is. Oh my shit.

Tash this lover liberty for sure. Is that him all crazy in the background? No, no Now she doesn't put boo in the B Venom therapist no wonder he had the B on his profile. Yeah, I was wondering what that was about Oh man, they have to live that B life. Do you think they're allowed to eat honey nut Cheerios? Do you think it's triggering oh? No, I'm sorry. That's mocked, that's mocked bees. They don't have cell phones probably.

What the, dude, look, he's written many books. I'll buy all of them. I'll read all of them. Be in balance. I'm going to Sacramento. You think I got something to do? Bees. Bees.

Healing Pioneers. 105 there. We'll read books on bees. No, so, oh man, that's gotta be in a annoying house on so many levels. She's like, I bet they fucking talk dirty using beeline go. Yeah, wait a second. They have hives here in New York.

Yeah, there's like roof. Yeah, there's times they make honey. No, no, never. All the place in the backyard. Suddenly, there was like tons of bees and that park right by there. I was like, what's going on? It goes, oh, we just got a bunch of bees. They'll be visiting your art.

And I was like, what? I don't know. You know, we just got a bunch of bees. They'll be visiting your art. And I was like, what? You know, I'm not a good thing to tell me. Bees rule. You don't mean that. I love bees. Damn. What does that even mean? Like explain that sentence.

No, it's kidding. You got dirty. Oh, okay. I think it's like, it's like, yeah. You're not kidding. What's your problem with me? I don't know. But you're like, bees rule. I think it's like yeah, what's your problem with me? Would you like these rule?

No, it's a recent those situations he goes listen There's a lot of bees out there. It goes oh great. I was oh sweet lucky for you Oh good The one thing no one's ever been pumped for no one's ever pumped for that. Yeah, so I was like why not be pumped for no It's a really yeah, I one's ever pumped for that. Yeah, so I was like why not be pumped for no It's a really yeah, I got cancer and then because nice You get that radiation We get this Great Bruce

Nice Awesome This guy full of gamma rays Don't make him mad. Is there anybody else still on that is a well Rob got fuck wise baby sitter still on that is a well Rob got fuck wise baby sitter That guy batting around dating his fourth cousin the guy in Denver. I want any any sister brother fuckers No, and no one's gonna admit to that. No, that's that might be the one I disagree if someone's gonna do it They're gonna admit to it I don't know I think they gotta be proud of it.

Do you have anything Isabella showed us? Yeah. Because is it real you think? It seems pretty real. I mean, everything could now, I guess, but this is pretty wild. It's a TikTok. I gotta refresh the page to get it to go from the beginning. Oh, by the way, why are you bringing that up actually?

This mother and son admitting to being in love with each other is your Wendy's What's Fresh. Oh yeah, I forgot. We always love to keep things fresh around here and there's nothing fresher than a mother's love for her son. Mother and son having incestuous love brought to you that's pretty fresh. That's pretty fresh.

Hold on, right? Yeah, for Frozen Beasts. What's fresh I'll tell you right now. And also, don't Yeah, we have a frozen beef. What fresh will tell you right now? And also, don't forget that it's time now for the what fresh segment brought to you by Wendy's. Right now at Wendy's, get Bogeau, one dollar with a Dave single, then add another for just the buck for a limited time only, only at Wendy's. What's fresh?

And this is our mother's son love. Let's get into it. What's the word, say it right? So that's a that's a great segue The free is have to come in and out of full on on godliness to That fucking square burger. Yeah, it's a good square burger. There's the best square burger And if anyone loved family it was Dave Thomas fresh never frozen beef. Ari. All right to me It goes along with it's coming up chicken nuggets, come in regular and spicy. And you get all this stuff for Bogo.

Don't even start me on their breakfast because I'll knock your dick off. It's honey butter biscuit. Chicken what? No, Wendy's is already won the, if you gotta be locked, beaten, raped and kicked into abortions

during a Cleveland Attic stay for 10 years my when these is my first my first legion scaxe appearance I believe yeah, that's it when these are the best thing to get and now and and by the way they won before and it's even better They didn't have The bog go back They didn't have the bow go back. The deal's really good plentiful. No bag of lyrics. It was a shoe and then it was a close race back then.

Now, that was a strong dollar menu. And that's how far I got you. God, play this. My hang on. It's not coming true. No, you don't get so proud of you already. Damn, I want to support your bean novels. Now you guys know Dan's gonna be really in a bean novel listening to bees rule Kick it. I was at first. I told

Cardinals that um, I'm sorry. I don't know how you can react to this I'm your mom and you're my son and I am falling in love with him. He said are you really? I said yes. I am. He said, are you really? I said, yes, I am. He said, you know what? I was scared to let you know too. I am too. He was too falling in love with me with his mom and I was falling in love with my son.

No. And then we'd up. Wait, what's the, what's this? Okay, that's, no, I think you're, there's like Game of Thrones. What, who's doing what? With his son. The mom and the son are falling in love. Sheaniak. So she's three years older than her son

Keep that in mind, but he's had pierced here in ears since he was a baby He's a pierced just he was a baby. Yeah, and he's been DJing since in utero Dude if your mom if your mom came up to you was like I'll fall in love with you back I mean, I am pretty cool to you, I was like, I'll fall in love with you. I mean, I am pretty cool. Dude, can you, but you know what? Never goes mom, fall in love. He was like, I thought you never say it. Yeah, grab them and start like the fucking super passionate. Oh god, I remember when you spent cupcakes for my fourth grade kid. Mom was kidding. I was kidding. I was kidding mom. Oh, gross. You old weird bitch.

You're my mom. Oh god, damn it. And you know when she's mentioning to him, she's got to be hoping against hope that he's like I feel the same way. And dude you got it If your mom lays it on you should look I just told I talked to a therapist. I got to lay this out there I have feelings for you. I got feeling for you too, ma. That's cool. It's like no, no no romantic feelings you go. Yeah Come on Yeah, it's Mark You really like how many times you

Honestly, my brain for kidding you're like stop fucking around seriously. Where's Joe's Joe like laughing somewhere? Why don't you be responsible to even do that as a joke yeah Yeah, like you're like like you're gonna fuck up. You're fucking up at least a year of a relationship as a joke doing that. Oh yeah, there's no, no. Son. I love feelings for you. I wanna be.

I think about you down there. Oh my God. You be like, ah! Damn, keep a straight face, don't blink. And I'll do it. Hey, it's me, Trish. And I wanna see you down there. Excuse me, can you make me a breakfast sandwich?

Or do you be alone? Okay. All right, slugger. I don't know. Let's get you back on Craigslist. Let's get you back out there. Go keep playing this. Talking and we took off to the park and we end up asking, will you ever date your mom?

And you say, well, you date your son? I said, on truth, yes, I would. Because 19 years, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. And I really want to be with you, rest of my life. Oh, God. And I really want to be with them. It's kind of hard right now, but I don't care what people say, because we're going through a lot right now.

We try to keep it secret, but we couldn't do it no more. Because there you go. Because his brother has got jealous. What else is going through? That's bigger than that. Oh no, no, I bet it's got to do with this. Yeah, he's already made it to this report thing, like the neighborhoods making sort of a thing about this. Yeah, there's people, they have a Spanish name for it

that I can't pronounce. Yeah. In Trenu or something, I don't even know. There's a name, the neighbors associated with it. The neighbors are not into this. There's a bunch of candles around a saint that is supposed to ward this off. Yeah, we're going to our property values, man. I can't be with that on here. Don't you don't you understand the Saint Angelo would never approve

Mimadre it's Damn, let's go play it No, my other kids found out I first dating like it and then they started liking it. They were there They're accepting it and my mom, my dad, my brothers, he said the kids didn't like it at first. So he goes, he goes, you man, you're with your mom and he goes, yeah, you're with mom. Oh, it's her other kids, she's saying. Yeah. Oh, her other kids, the neighborhood, neighborhoods, which is so funny because if I was in that family and I was the younger brother to him I would only have the family refer to me as Steve. Yo

I'm a backup that's gonna take your spot. Yeah, he goes mom. I promise you if my brother ever dies I'll fuck you. Yeah, if you guys break up do I get to date you? Oh Baby you're gross. You're not like yeah,'re not like, you're not like, you're not like, No, you're my, no, you're my Gordito. You're my little fast, though. You're my little Gordito. You have to start calling your brother dad? I think so. I mean, that's crazy.

I think if I was the brother, I'd force it. Yeah, but dude, this is what a good bully move on your little brother. You're like, call me dad. Listen to your Padre Hermano. Yeah, Padre Hermano. Yeah, I'll call him out. Yeah. All right. Oh my god.

My family's accepting it now. This girl found out. No, they're not. So it's cross street for me. And there's a big old, big old fight started. And she came, she called me. She told my son Joseph something and let me know cross the street.

And she told me I ever watched my back. Because that's's I'm being Incess I'm not being in this and she was outside custom else so I Want to go get everybody on my house and she got her family. We got You got a real happy old and McCoy thing going on here. That's so funny. Your family will meet my family inside by the way my family All kisses each other. They're good luck every family. That's their hot that Your family will meet my family inside. By the way, my family all kisses each other. They're good luck. Every family. That's their hot. That's their Haka is just fucking group kissing each other. They gave me a together for a fucking swingers party. You want to go to my house? There's an orgy. Like who's in your house?

Just my family. Friday night orgy. Most families have taco Tuesday. They have orgy Friday. Orgy Fridays. Yeah,'s Spring your girlfriend over your father will have her And then I'll have a taste we got to do another commercial. I know you see Deon's call though What's Deon you guys can see that oh? No black lose name was Lewis. Yeah Also as Sean or as Sean Fury refers to him, LJ. LJ. LJ.

Oh. Did you think he was Black Lou as his given name? I did. Did you think he was a pirate? You gonna make fun of that now? Guys, he didn't know something. He asked the question, and now he knows. You know what, you're right.

Are you showing us the positivity of learning learning? That's right. Should we take the yons call for take a break? Yeah, I mean, that's a pretty wild one. I mean now I want to see part two of that video because I want to know what happened Oh, is there part two? He did they working out then there's a part two. Oh, it's like I have a spot on Mori waiting for them. Oh my god a whole hour. I'm No, it's doctor Phil's territory. That's doctor Phil's territory. Maury's doing straight up the paternities now. We're like why did you take the shit? Phil wants to get into it. Phil wants to mix it up. He'll jump in there, but it's not right. What you do when did you have feelings for Hector?

When did you start getting moist about your boy? He's my Mijo. Oh my little Mijo. Mijo, I want to say Mijo. Mira, look, I'm wet. And Mijo, look, mommy, Nipu, so it's all right. Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip. It is on the books you can't do incest, right? I mean, it's illegal.

Yes. Why is she giving an interview? Because that's how good it ends if they fuck yet. She said with a date Yeah, he could just be a gentleman and taking her out to lovely dinners and listening about her life My mom are waiting for the right time, you know our stories The conversation we think about starting a podcast you imagine when you're banging your mommy start doing this yeah, yeah, yeah, but they she right I just want to play video games And she's supposed to be cleaning my rules a mother alone when I'm done mowing this long Let me take out the trash cuz I'm in the trash right now. Oh, he might tell me I'm better than dad Tell me I'm better than dad would Tell me I'm better than dad. Would you mind after I bust my fat nut?

Would you mind signing the sleep so I can go on the field trip to a natural museum of history? It's so funny to roll over and get a permission to slip signs. Hey lover, I was wondering if I could go to the museum of natural history? Yes. Mom, that was great. Mom, that was great. Mom, that was great. Would you mind?

God. You go, you're gonna fill this out and rip the bottom off and send it in for my school pictures. You are a package packet you want. You are a cheetah in the sack. Wester would use all the wallets. Would you mind taking a couple magazine subscriptions? Hey, would you bring this candy cell singer work?

I'm trying to get a boy. descriptions. Hey, would you bring this this candy sales thing to work? Trying to get a boy. Hey, after I eat that box, can we get a box of Why don't you go sell these for my little league uniforms? Deon, let's be as good you get you go. Oh God mom, that was great. Can I just stay over this weekend? His mom's out of town and she said it was okay if he stayed could we go to Troys or us have money? I said Yeah, just if I'm over here, you go up to your own room You guys today guys you guys could sit around here and tell ghost stories. I'm gonna go upstairs and get some Yeah, you guys tell me what I'm gonna go upstairs cuz a duty calls boys

Stiff is a board light as a feather stiff as a grownup got some ass If I don't come back down I'll see you guys around 10 a.m. For be fast in the kitchen also don't ask don't ask the old lady for pancakes I'm gonna give I'm gonna put enough batter on her back Don't ask the old lady for pancakes because I'm gonna give I'm gonna put enough batter on her back All right, let's finally go to Dion Dion I promise we're coming to you now Dion and can't Hey, how you doing? What's up, but hello? Hey, but hey everything man. How you doing? Crackle crackle crackle crackle to you. What insist story what happened to you with your family? Yeah, don't be wrong. Okay, I thought I had I thought my cousin blew me since I was 10 until this year. Oh, no, I realized we weren't related. But my

uncle and his two kids came to visit us from Ontario and they left and went out partying and she was babysitting us. Me and my smaller cousin and she did a shot. I did a shot and I was like I can't you know. I got to show her up and she got me drunk and I got my first blowjob. How many times have you been in the group? Yeah I just had, yeah I just gone through puberty I had like cubes and like my dick with rock hard I've been jerking off like crazy, so like I was like oh my god But it's my cousin and I use a 10 damn can it is rough and

God damn dude just can't get it or you guys get it early like a drop sir That's really great damn dude. That's awesome. Yeah Who is this chick? She sounds great. Yeah. She's got a slutty. Wait. Now, my question is this year. Yeah. You found out this year you're not related. Yeah. So my mom is like, oh yeah, your app can't have kids and like you're her two kids are been adopted. I was like, oh yeah, your app can't have kids and like your hurt to kids are been adopted I was like, oh It's the biggest release because I never told anyone. Oh my god

So it is though it is a cousin, but it worked out no blood relationship. Yeah, honestly Yeah, you could you could sleep at night knowing that now you just raised a whole other thing You know, and we should take a break and come back with that. Well, it is J territory, but I will also say, I also say, do you, can you fuck, would you be, have a relationship with a first cousin if they're adopted? I, I, I, let's take a break. All right.

We got Ari Shiffi, we're gonna Ari the great.com for tickets. He's all over this motherfucking nation. By the way, J is doing that Pittsburgh show with me. Yeah. We've been for Roatin' it. We've been listening. Have you though? Yes.

Yeah. In fact, I think we've been Roatin' it's so good to already to the best of my knowledge. I'm getting messages now people going like, I can't get tickets. Ooh, you're gonna have a zone. Are we doing two shows? We are, we added a second show.

So if you couldn't get tickets, fucking join me for the second show. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background you