The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Forbidden Love (feat. Kevin Iso & Katie Nolan)

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Kevin Iso and Katie Nolan join The Bonfire! The guys show Kevin a video of a hack voice-comic and Katie Nolan has a story about a stripper's dangerous monkey, which leads to another story of inter-species love. Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okerson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. Please explain it to work Kevin what's happening. I have to go with some. Kevin we got to show you, bring up the end of the Steven Scott clip just to show Kevin. Welcome back to the bonfire

I'm Dan so that's big Jay Okerson full crew here Jacob and Florida Sitting in on the show the love of my life Katie no one just said it just big just I just got credit on that Trish. Yeah, that's nice. Sorry Trish when you kick me out at 17 I had a whole lot of love She loves both cigarettes in the house. She doesn't put her cigarettes out on me. We're our guests. Welcome back to the show from Flatbush, Mr. Meeners, and he's a part of the New York comedy festival to show for the insomniacs Thursday November 11th APM at Littlefield Kevin Iso coming back to the show Flap push mr. Miners picked up for a season two in production good win right?

Good that in production jacket on right now. You've been filming outside. No, this is a $40 jacket It's currently to go It's super dry. All right. I didn't know super dry was that affordable. It's very affordable. Really? I always thought it was expensive because Chey would wear them all the time.

You just gotta go buy them. I thought it was for like blonde hair, Chinese boys to wear. K-pop groups? Yeah. I mean, you know, they're cute. So, thank you. Well, as I told you, when you walked in the commercial break,

we spent an hour dumping on this dude, who's a voice or a mentalist. And that's why we came back with a whole lot of love, because we were watching some people make a tart noises with their faces. Okay. Can you hear me in your headphones? I'm assuming you can. Oh, that's how.

It's all right. Volume's a tricky thing, dude. I mean, I shouldn't have showed you what a volume knob was. He was like, fuck, dude, I don't even know if he was going over there. It was like to be fair, he walked in and it was just kind of a commotion. Yeah, we're talking about Wendy's,

we're getting fucking nuts in here. Oh, we forgot to do the whole segment. I felt like, you know, when you give you a little brother, the controller, and it doesn't work. And then I'm blaming you. I'm like, why do you suck at this? And you're like, I don't know. Maybe I can't hear myself Do we have the final clip of him doing it?

Basically I just want to show Kevin that clip where he goes, okay. Yeah, it's worth it. I Think you know what you're talking about. You're talking about myself going. He's by himself doing the guitar Which is a little earlier in the video. I could probably watch this all day on a, no, he's an older comic. Yeah, he was around. I love that his website is still up. Look at it too. Oh, please. It looks like a geocity. I bet that dates pages hilarious. I bet he fucking smokes me in voice over reals though. I bet this guy. Oh, you're done. This guy cook. You just got cooks. If you need a train and a guy selling beans, he's just, he's everybody. Really enjoy this. That's good. We're here. There it is. Perfect. So he makes a guitar

noise. And if we say, you know, go back, you can do this. Fine. You can do this. And we won't come out. But if you get like smug about it after you make a noise, he's very proud of himself. That's why you gotta show. You gotta show me. You're sounding like a guitar. You gotta go before the guitar, because all of them, you just start noticing, I'm telling you, all of me goes,

he goes, the eyebrows, he does the, he raises the eyebrows every time. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, wow, am I right? Am I right? And if you guys aren't liking this breakdown, just come back another time, because I feel like we're really having a lot of fun today.

Just keep do away. No one wants to listen in any way, you son of a bitch. It's like I got a prison someday, right? Yeah, that's weird. So I've got that back in though. That's like going to my room without my best imaginary Imagine how guitar looks like this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's cool.

God, there it is. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's cool. God, there it is.

Oh, yeah. That's cool. God, there it is. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's cool. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's cool. Oh Room and just well on my fake fender My mom would make me have to go practice make chill Okay, um, this is little uh This is most hard fifth in beat

Okay, I'm ready taking that shit seriously is funny on its own because it's just so Ridiculous to be like, oh that's nice. Ah, it took it for a walk didn't it? And, am I wrong for liking the guitar part? So he said, oh you lost her several times on trumpet. Let me tell you this, let me tell you what J told me. Let me tell you something brother. They're putting an effect on his voice.

So he's not doing all that in his throat. It's got like a distortion on. So it's the, see I thought it was natural too and I was kind of impressed, but then the, they just stay with the revert, they were doing before with the revert basically. Ooh, that's good. Oh, that's good.

That's good. Ah, hey. Ah, ah, ah. It's like, whatever is, it's got me two different things. It's like, you go, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter,

bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter,

bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, between hunger force. The way he whittles and moves. I don't like him. Yeah, that's the right opinion. I feel like he takes his shirt off when he gets in a room with a girl and is like, oh, yeah, you like that, don't you? It's like, what do you don't? We weren't there. We were there. We were crazy bringing that up.

I only showed her one joke. He talked about his abs already. One joke we watched. That is true. He did. Oh, that was the first. I see why he don't work. Yeah.

And then we see if you could bring him up, getting judged on, on star search, because Ahmed Zappa just ripping in, I know him and him just going, ha, ha, as I die. I know it's just where I'm coming from in life right now, but as soon as you said he doesn't work, now I'm like, well, let's go eat,

let's go eat the guys. We'll get to work and let's just let them all, I don't believe this guy alone, maybe we go back to the insertion. I don't know if I should be making a killing on fucking cruise ships Oh, he's got a color coding system damn dude. Yeah, he's on he's on the high seas. He's letting you know it all right He's hosting awards so privates look cruise ships. Yeah

Look club feeder red keep going guys got a full calendar. He does so we can we can go back to you working Thanksgiving weekend But he takes a weekend off he takes a weekend off for himself. That's good The Caribbean and then he's back ribbing He's on a cruise line. I can't believe those are still legal. Yeah after COVID. He's out there fucking battle Yeah, they're discount too. I've never done a cruise have you done a cruise? I did the impractical joke which cruise is the only cruise I've been on oh, well that is it was fun But Jay does cruises Jay done like the impractical Joker's Yeah, but there's but again I've done chartered cruises

So it's the Joker's I've done twice and I do the those don't count. They have a heavy metal ones It doesn't cast that's the same thing. That's all it's all for one thing and those I have All about but you didn't have a house, but you know what I mean? It's not like a visa. This is he works for the cruise line. So also if you have sex or intermingle with anybody on the cruise ship, they will helicopter you home. Damn. Helicopter, that's a pretty badass way to leave a job. I would get some, get some ass in there and be like,

Jacob, can you give me a little helicopter? Can you give me a little helicopters I'm leaving? And you can't, of course, right? Yeah, you can't, but Jacob, can you give me a little helicopter? Can you give me a little helicopter as I'm leaving? And you can't curse, right? Yeah, you can't, but Jacob hit me with some helicopter. Oh. Come on, Jacob. Come on, Jacob. It was faster than me.

Fuck all you pussy's. I got laid and I'm out of here. You don't have to see me on this boat again. Oh, Jacob, please, you bring it back to my non-flashbacks. Yeah, dude, I was about to blare some credence. It's a joke of mud. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I always put it back in the business. I took my first check from that cruise ship and bought a brand new mouth guitar. Yeah. Everything I get. Then a mouth tuba.

I was saving up big for it. I was trying to get a mouth synthesizer. I'm getting nuts, dude. Can you imagine doing comedy for the people who are taking a cruise right now? Just me. Oh my god. Like COVID's still a thing.

People that are getting on a cruise ship right now. Anything they do is a group they call it insurecting you want to go insurect of a fake Yeah, I go insurex some of those raviolis Insurect at the Alpison person they'd rope on the poop deck Yeah, is it called forward because I realize now that that hasn't happened yet ignore me Call for me. You'll see it Dude, he's like, I want to mind storm in the Storm in the Treats Center

You're gonna storm the fact Oh, take back what's ours Just chance 1776 Screaming at the candy workers YOU WORK FOR AUS Traitor! What? I want to get into that special teams coach from Texas

Because that story's fucking wild what is i don't know anything about so the special teams coach for the university of texas uh... is kate you know i think more about it now probably not i know less than you would think that i have that article that i looked yet i think you left is why for a stripper yet that the i think that's a dancer i swear you i don't know now that i hear the words it all makes sense to me Well, you keep saying the Texas special teams coach I thought you meant a guy in Texas who coaches teams of retarded children

Like that clip remember that clip that Shane sent us of the blind kid playing football my favorite I watched that I watched that seven times a month He goes his blind he's like I do that I love playing football and they let me play and show some other offensive blinders I can't they put it the death But what the fuck dude? Find that good. He's like what the fuck is it? He's just by himself Two seconds it's just yeah. It's just, yeah. No, treat yourself.

Treat yourself, this is funny. Headphones on. You don't know this kitty? No. Oh my god. You don't know this? This is Shane Goes classic. Classic.

This is the first one he brought to my life that I watched this monthly several times. I don't like it. It's that kind of confidence that continues to amaze people who watch Dylan play because he's doing all of this. Blind. You know how I can't see and a lot of people think that a blind person can't play football. But this courageous youngster has proven those people wrong. on the Yeah Classic clip

Right through the line because no one touches him. He just plays the wrong direction Eventually goes and jumps and tackles the feet of his own teammate. You got him You got to numb your morals a little bit and jumps and tackles the feet of his own teammate. You gotta numb your morals a little bit. Tell that to that. He's trying to tackle by sound. You bet the drop is trying. He's trying, so.

He's trying very hard. He's out there. He knows. Well, he has a new one. He knows a new, there's a kid who's blind. I think like a quarter back or something. I mean, that's just if you are a new blind bad football player, think look I'm on YouTube real quick,

blind football, there's a new one new one this a terrible road to go down Well, we're down it and so Blind football players blind football players is not like you know I Didn't enjoy it. Yeah, I feel like a piece of shit if I encourage the blind person to play football, but it's already happening You know Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. No CTE. He's not going to have any more damage to his brain.

He's a guy that's well done. He's a guy that has a 45 year career as a player. I played deep, I played early into my 60s. They said my brain is light pink. Never been flushed. My brain has never been sloshed. I haven't even had a Whiplash in a car. You know what?

Selfishly, not donating any organs. Yeah. Well, take them all with me. Well, you know what, you get at my eyes. Fuck you. It's stuck my neck. I'll leave you with a bag, dot, left, be holding me. You have my eyes.

Oh, my new eyes are on the fritz. Hey, I'm going to go to heaven and punch Jerry Orbok in the cock. He the cock He goes really that's crazy because we got these donated to us by a football player So I wonder why these eyes aren't working. Dude that music though of what the fuck is going on Also fatful fun fact someone told me is that that band. Mm-hmm that song the band name is like blind Here or something like oh dude. That is a rapper actually on is like blind fear or something like, oh dude, that is a rapper actually on a 106 in park back in a day. His name was Blimefury.

He was really good. It was a good name. You can rap, yeah, you can rap. But you can rap without you, you definitely can't play the most aggressive of context sports. The one that you definitely need your eyes for. And being one member of a team you are consistently letting down with every step you take on the field. that kid Steven Scott's eyes. He can voice the metal in his room alone

That kid'll just be out pan-cake and motherfuckers. It's a good size too. I feel like it'd be really hard not to hold if you were a Line man. Oh, you're there. Oh, Doko. You're there. I'm just gonna let him grab me and tackle me. I was like, oh, got me again, bud. I call him bud Yeah, bud you tackled me damn you are really, bud. I call him bud. Yeah, bud You tackle me damn you are really good. What a position you play. Yeah, you're really good at being the guy in the line Grathman, what are you doing? You're holding the snack guy? Back on there. We've been going 11 on 10 this Him facing out ordered in the huddle

Plea yeah But that's right. What's right? Him facing outward in the huddle like please. Yeah But that's right. What's right? See the guy with yellow shoes. What's yellow? I don't know but I can smell someone different near me. So the special teams coach from Texas. Yeah, that's his wife. For a stripper. For an exotic dancer.

We can't call him strippers. I don't know. And her name is pole assassin. Great name. That's the name under which she forms. By the way double-on-tondra she's smoking pole she the pole like she merges the pole she does and then yeah, she slides a nice coating of HPV on it every night and she has a monkey a pet monkey and that monkey has bit a child damn dude during trick or treating that I mean I sound like something that is would be in a strip of his life I saw that she disputed it

She said that the kid went to a part of the house the kid wasn't allowed to go to that clearly it was like don't touch this monkey And it's an emotional support Okay, is it really yeah Danielle? I was in Yale Thomas is a real name. Girlfriend of University of Texas, a high-end coach and special teams coordinator. Pretty big. When I drove strippers and stuff to those bachelor parties, you're not wrong about that. They'd have like, ummercades and like a house

with a front door that doesn't close all the way. You know what I mean? I'm telling you, like that's like, the heat's not on, but they have like an exotic fish tank with a shark. She goes, I have an iguana, and my lights are off so I got to pump it in through the next door. Well Danielle Thomas took it upon herself to respond to the allegations is the story spread rapidly on Twitter. It wasn't long before Twitter was absolutely

erupted. This might be one of those stories where they're like and Twitter. Twitter went nuts. Yeah and it's just like a couple idiots be like it's crazy. So I'm hearing from a repot from a credible source. Good job, Tom Wow, call them out. Yeah, dude. I'm hearing a repot. Well, everyone calls. I'm terrible with words. Sure So that's why I thought you'd be a little more sympathetic. I hold myself About a pot and I hold other people accountable. That's right. You've always said that's always been your thing I do that with my fans two days from now Source that Texas Longhorn Special Teams coach Jeff Banks,

Monkey allegedly attacked and seriously hurt a young trigger-treeter last night on Halloween. The Monkeys' jaws apparently had to be pride off the small child. That is of, dude, if you're like, getting in there with your thumb to take fucking monkey juggles, you're like, yeah, it's kind of a bitch.

I'm trying to get him I got to see the monkey. Yeah, me too. I bet it's like one of the outbreak one. I think it's like a little Capuchin, is that what it's called? Capuchin monkey. I don't know. How much damage it's

damage to do to the kick? You remember the lady? You remember like the monkey? My monkey's ripping my friend's face. I mean, that was a chimpanzee. We talked about that. Wasn't she didn't have a chimpanzee? Yeah, we were talking about that on

skanks. They ripped the lady's face off. And you chimpanzee. Yeah, we were talking about that on skanks. They ripped the lady's face off and you're like, well, they coming back from that one. You hit that story about the lady that fell in love with the monkey and the zoo. Huh? Yeah, they had to remove her from the shit and the monkey was like depressed because that was like,

it was recent. It was recent, there's stuff here. Wait, we'll go back up to the top of this because we'll get to the end of this. But go to this man, this monkey and this woman falling in love. Man. Damn man, if you're like her ex boyfriend and then she's like, I found the guy. And like, who is he?

And she goes, I'm sure it's me how I deserve to be. Oh, Mr. Nibbles is at the San Diego Zoo. Yeah. I think you know, a bonk bonk. I've been going and seeing him every day. I know, Paul is sad. He swings over and just jacks it in front of him. Ha ha ha.

Just hit me like, oh, and she's like, okay, I'm into this. Hey little friend. Woman, man. Of course she looks like that. Oh, oh. A healthy relationship being told that by a newspaper. Woman banned from zoo after unhealthy relationship with She's not an opinion. It's a fact. It's like in the headline. Take all we've this is diagnosed

There's no no ifs ands or buts. You got to stop throwing this is not right. Don't do this for forget a monkey's uncle I'm a monkey has a face like he's telling his monkey friends goes no I know it's not our real hair color, but it looks nice Yes, she's yes, she's goes no, I know it's not our real hair color, but it looks nice She's a free spirit and she does cool poetry also. She's willing to fuck a monkey. She's cool Yeah, she's also pretty sure to fuck a month So I don't know if you this you can sit up on that big log and jack your little red weener all day I'm gonna get some human pussy. I don't know Yeah, I don't know if people pussy's being coasted you day after day in this half a tap,

but I'll tell you what, I'm taking what I can get. This is like, that's like when prisoners fucking ugly prison guard. That's what he had to go back to was the other monkeys. It was just like really sat like he was getting ahead from another monkey. It's not the same. Do it like April does it.

That's not the same with the question. You can feel it. It's prisoners mentality. That's love after luck That's the thing. That's love after luck that you're watching. Remember the guys like they come out and then when they get out and they're like, Oh, wait. You're not attractive at all. Oh, I'm up behind bars anymore.

Yeah. I mean, that him getting upset that she left. Let's go to the store. It's your point though. It's not a problem. It's not a problem. It's not a problem. It's not a problem.

It's not a problem. It's not a problem. It's not a problem. It's not a problem. It's not a problem. But your defense was he loves me and I think let the record show he did he was sad when she left I'll let me know something and twerk bitches love Monkey you in Holland you fucking monkeys Monkey love and woman has been banned from visiting a male chimpanzee at a zoo in Antwerp Belgium after it's the bells The Belgium I'm sorry about that the what do you call the bells? What are they called the the jumps? The jumps Belgies Belgies

Isn't Belgins I think it's just Belgins is it the Belgins? Yeah, it makes sense. Oh man, I got spilt I went out to just keep talking about I say yeah Yeah, the Belgians Do this at it out. Go fuck yourself A male chimpanzee in a zoo and Antwerp Bell chim after officials declared their relationship unhealthy for the animal's socialization with other chimps.

I love that animal. He loves me. 80 Tenerman told Belgian channel ATV ever, Simian soul mate. His name is Chita. Oh, sorry. So they let it her get to the point where her relationship, they stopped it because it was bad for his socialization

with the other chimp. What about the- They were jealous. What about the lady? Yeah, well, you know, it's- Stop it to be like, you can't not. She had reportedly been visiting the male chimp named Cheetah on a weekly basis for four years.

She think she called him that name or do you think she was like, they call you Cheetah, but you're my little snuggle ball. That was like babe, yes, oh my god. It's a bad, it's a bad but you're my you're my little snuggle baby yeah super familiar throws the shit I couldn't get come last week cheaty during their visits to two bar crossed lovers fuck off would reportedly blow kisses and

that rules absolutely rules if you got a monkey that always blew you kisses What's up, babe? And the monkey does like a keep my pussy warm with sign language Pussy warm out there don't look at other are you looking at yeah, don't even You look at him although thankfully they didn't engage in inner inner species whoopies and jail nonetheless Timberman you pay the right card off you can get You get all the clock clock go broom closet time they call that in the jaren's maybe I stuff a little waffle in your Who know one time this the tuned waffle in your box? Make your syrup on your

And I can gonna touch your syrup on your syrup waterfall and I can maybe touch my lover's taste. I'll touch your bits. I would love to see his big bag of manliness. He pointed to another monkey like this, the one you actually want to flip. Yeah, that's not me. She said she wanted it, but I would go with this guy. This one's got a temper.

It's been a little a half hour on this Why is if you're looking for input? It's clear by your hair. Do you like bad boys? I would stay away from the one I'm gonna get rough in a way. You're not comfortable with if I start blowing a kiss and they go Hey, dude, you're stupid chicks out here again Hey, bud. Can I check off to your girl? I know you're sleeping up on you. Yeah, he's like yeah Yeah, it's me. I'm the guy Chuchy or whatever It's not your baby. You touch on my leaner. I'm a slamming against the glass That's not my cheat cheese penis I'm so white, I brought the waffle to the end of the year.

Twirling. Oh wow, dude. Go down, is that the end of the article? It's gotta be, where else could it go? Unfortunately, the zoo has put the caboch on their unorthodox love affair, as it's reportedly caused Cheetah to get shunned by his fellow. Oh my god. When Cheetah is constantly surrounded by visitors, the other animals ignore him and don't consider him part of the group.

I mean, Jealousy with haters. Who are you with? Hater. The professor with you with her. Haters. Linda the Apes, man. No, you know what? There was like, this is how AIDS started.

We gotta stay away from here. Yeah, this is not gonna happen. You're gonna create another god damn pandemic. They're gonna take this out on all of us Yeah, you know, we're barely out of that Yeah, fucking rumor that a human fucked us dude You're making us look bad He goes, dude, you're never gonna let us out now

He's like dude, he goes, I'm stuff I'm 15% African green monkey And I'm telling you, I'm worried I'm worried what's gonna happen You could finger her cool Don't do anything more. First of all, age and other things. Do it at night.

Do it at night when there's no one here, not on the kids. It's no longer a descents, number one. Yeah. You could live with it. A of all, you could live with it. Tell them that if one is devastated over her ex-communication from the zoo. Oh my god, imagine. I haven't got any singers.

The heartbroken gal protested. What do they want to take that away? I mean she does have a point she says I haven't gotten anything else and I would believe that because she's in love With a monkey. Yeah, I would get yeah, you know, but also like did a zoo should be happy to have a repeat customer within a within a month If somebody's coming back to the zoo. They were just at that. That's pretty rare I go she's your most loyal customer. I made, she talks. I think it's your 1.5 zoo zoo visits per decade. Do you think talks to like, oh, are we going to get to see video of it together? Whoever's doing her hair. Do you think like she talks to them about

it? My monkey, boy friend is the day, the day, the day, the day. Can you make me look like a match tip? I mean monkey boyfriend rules. No, he's searching through my hair for... Oh, God. Can you give me the Caesar's home? Yeah, Caesar is friend. Is that video of them? Or just a picture, a blurry picture in the New York Post? They'd be fucking hilarious if she was just presenting.

Look at that skirt she's talking for she's presented her awful body to him in the first word he said like plan of the eight says no no no well I was

holy shit I'm in my fifties yeah she's like okay now you're gonna go down on me for the first time monkey no no do you know he was on that other side of that glass, just like let me get a taste.

Let me get a sweet taste. Oh, he wants a little something. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Oh, this is, yeah. Give me a sip, I'll tell you. I remember that this is real. I'm like, ah.

It's sad. Yeah, it's, it's a pleasure. Sometimes you can't look away from the sadness. What's more sad, a trumpet player getting shown up by Stephen Spott on the 730 show. I'm just lady fucking falling in love with the gym. Oh man. She's so lonely. Yeah. By the way, where I completely did a turnaround of feeling bad for hers because her self-awareness of it right there when she goes, I got nothing else. She was, let me

love a monkey behind a glass wall. I can't fuck it relax Fuck that's so sad Bye, and then she can't see him now. She has a stand outside and just look at pictures of him Just whip bananas over a fence. Did they say in here? How often she was going because it was a week? What's a week for four years? That's an investment Yeah, if I did it she knows the words when you walk by the Habitatson It has a little speech thing she mouse the words of it while it's going is like the peacock Right next to the monkey

She goes I hold check got dragged into a lion king Yeah, that goes. I hear the Pandas are indigenous to actually five different parts of Asia. I have different parts of Asia. The easternmost part is where we get the Japanese band. I just don't even know the words. I'm just putting out her cigarette. She says, oh, my love is awake.

If I have to hear one more thing about the three-toed sloth. Well, let's go back to this University of Texas coach who had a support monkey, which we don't know what kind of monkey yet, that bit a child to the point. If you're a parent, do you demand the monkey be executed on site? Nah, because dogs bite kids a lot. And they get rid of them. They're supposed to be killed. Yeah, you're supposed to put them there. Oh, that doesn't happen my neighborhood

But that's a thing My mom my mom had no problem putting down our dog in Dan's face Yeah, no, he didn't get put down after he bit me he had to fight another kid She put the clamp on him to she hopped in the back fence. She went smokey. Yeah, or she did the thing where she puts the piano while. She ran like that. Yeah. And she was, where you're going?

It's all wet food. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm goingow mix, bit my face and I had like, I think it was like 43 stitches in my face. Like a little jaw. And then my mom was like put the dog down

and they were like, they was in 11 year old girl before. So, you know what guys, what's your trickiest? This is when you were a deputy. But they, my mom was like, yeah, you gotta put the dog down and my friends mom,

my mom also rocked their ass in court through their insurance company. But then you got to put the dog down and my friends mom, my mom also rocked their ass and court Through their insurance company, but then she was like put the dog down and they're like no We don't want to put the dog down and then a year later a kid lost his ball in their backyard and hop the fence And the dog ran after it and bit the kid in the knee and then they put the kid the dog down That kid didn't get any money though because I was rolling in the green. Yeah Oh and get me money though, because I was rolling in the green. Yeah. Oh, someone had some of his college taken care of. Damn. From the dog bite?

Oh yeah, that was crazy. Wasn't allowed to touch it till I was 19 and it had to go towards education. How much was it? Like, who gets to put those rules on it? Trish or the people that? Trish. Oh, I would have had it up my nostril

and I'm gonna drive around in a used Corvette. Yeah. God bless Trish. If you can get it all at once, dude, you'd have been bad with that. I would have had it up my nostril and I'm gonna drive around in a used Corvette. Yeah God bless true. You get it all at once, dude. You'd have been bad with that. I would have been down it I'd have been in like a you know El Paso living with some shady characters with a chest tattoo Although your face getting bit off and still being so handsome and noise me just like stupid. What's your face? Well, carry on their wood. Oh my god. They said you never recognize her She'll never look the same. Finally she was brave enough to come out and show you that there's no scars. Nothing. What ever you jealous bitches, some of us feel hot. Deal with it. It's gonna be me hitting rock bottom just standing front of a rock wall and going.

Here we go. Peen up under my face and just jam it in. All right, make me different. You slap his balls. Yeah, get me. Yeah. Ugh. No, I didn't know you could give money after a dog bitch. Yeah, yeah, this is a white man go insurance. God, see, this is coming.

Kevin, this is Denver politics. I don't understand it myself. Oh my God. Kevin, let me explain something about the mountain whites. We've learned how to take not only land but money from people in the most creative With your dog now is my friends dog and a different shit pretty quick Shadow Justin Terry. I hope you're cool. Sorry. Trish got to kill it. No Trish gets the call she goes I knew that dog was gonna hack the up. Just throw some cigarette out and she's like,

oh, I know. You start spinning a fucking, a spy once a while. She gets an old hatchet with her birthday etched in the fucking hand out. Because time to let this thing taste. You guys lose odys. He kills evil. So this apparently Danielle Thomas, the girlfriend the Paul assassin. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

Bit the child the small child. So this is the first tweet accusing it Speaks all the time guess we don't care about Misspelling journalism integrity. let's go down a little. I had a half. Oh, that's her. Oh, here it is. Her name's Danny. I had a haunted house on one side, gated off. He had no permission to go past the gate.

I had no idea he went into my backyard. Neither did I know anything about a bite until a doctor of a neighborhood. What? A doctor of neighborhood? A doctor of neighborhood? Told me the treat. What are you a doctor of? No, the Roger's.

No parent have contacted me about it. Oh, no. Is the monkey vaccinated? Is this a good serious question? Is Danny? Is this, that's the stripper? Yes. Miss Paul assassin.

Do you think Paul assassin is the girl who sings? Puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, puh, what's that? You guys don't know the jam of the 2021 well well well close the show we'll close the show that we get to taste oh we should take a break okay the show goes so fast so fast she responded in the tweet yes she had

had all her shot she emotional support animal who not to be touched she speak by command of high five high five had all her shot, she emotional support animal, who not to be touched. She speak by command of high five. High five. You got to do this in the Russian accent where it all makes sense. Yes, she speak by command of high five.

No one is allowed to touch her, unless I myself say it, okay it. Fuck, I really blew that job, I do it at the whole time. Yeah, the beginning one again. I read 100,000 on one side of gate and off. He had no permission to go past the gate. I had no idea he was in my backyard. Neither did I know anything about the bite

until a doctor of neighborhood told me the treat a small bite. No parent have contacted me about it. Okay. All right. Hey, it's a monkey vaccinated. It could be serious. God. What was

you doing at the neighborhood doctor? I don't know, but that is the best haunted house if you get attacked by an animal. I mean, it was supposed to be scary. That's scary. You know, you're not much paid for. Oh, that's so funny. Um, let's take our last break. Jesus. I know. We'll come back and we'll show them. We'll show them Abby, baby. Oh, yeah, we got to show them that music video get tickets right now to see Kevin ISO At November 11th at Littlefield 8 p.m. As part of the New York comedy festival Kevin ISO For the Insomniacs you got cream green Yamanikas Anders carry Kodat. I mean you got a hell of a lineup. Oh, yeah, you hosting Yeah, well Omar

Thompson hell oh fuck dude Omar. I've known Omar more. Thompson hell. Oh, fuck dude. Omar. I've known Omar since I moved here. I love Omar fucking rules. He just opened a comedy club in Harlem. Really? Yeah. He always calls me Dan Sauder and I don't know if he's doing it. Cause it was a comic Omar Thompson. I used to joke around about that, you know, the Tom Brenner and

fat capital world. Fat capital world. I used to do that all the time. He used to think it was funny where I do that. A broadcaster calling my childhood. He was like, and it's another guy down. Dan Sotters not gonna get a step out of this year. Nice to do that and he would always go,

Dan Sotters, he'd do that voice, but I'd be like, do you know what Sotters? He's committed to the bit so well that I was like, oh shit. He don't know. He definitely does. Also season two of Flatb bush misdemeanors in production now if you have showtime go check it out on demand season one out now So cool that you and Dan fucking made that show and you got season two coming win for comedy. Thank you, man I yeah, you know last time I was here. You all were watching digs on

From West Wing west world West world. Yeah, we were looking at we're looking at Westworld Dix on uh uh from West Wing. Oh Westworld. Westworld. Yeah, we were looking at Westworld Dix from Season 1. Yeah, and so this is like I thought I was coming into that. This is way better, right? You could do that. I mean if you want we could buy that. We could talk Weeners anytime you want, dude.

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