The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Forced To Embrace

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

Jay's favorite witch-rock band is back with a new tune about wizards and nonsense. Hekate's Torch casts a spell on the ears of the Bonfire as they deliver a masterful opus. | Jay and Bobby perform arena shows in Florida with Shane Gillis. Bobby gets confused while on stage because the clock doesn't count down and he can't do math. They also gamble and play football on the beach where Bob finds a father figure. | Theo Von reportedly has a meltdown while filming his comedy special in NYC. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. That's so funny. Come on, guys. Def Lep! Sorry. This song does make you happy? It describes what women are. Oh, I just got my kneecaps taken out before the show. Oh.

What happened to you? Nothing. Nothing. There should have been a phone call on Sunday. Yet it was, hey, have fun. Before you have fun, why don't you go fuck yourself? No.

What happened? Nothing. I didn't even know that song was about women. Come on. I swear it up, Lou. Women, women, lots of pretty women. Men, men, they can't live without them. Women, women.

Lots of pretty women, men, men, we can't live without them. Skin on skin. Let the love begin. Women, we can lay. Women, women. Women, women. I knew it was women. I love women.

Women. Who hurt you today? Jacob? What do you do? No, he didn't do anything. He did something. He's just, you know, corporate Jacob stepped in the room. Shit, what did he do?

Oh, corporate Jake in his fucking tie. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Because, you know, with Black Lou's cowboy shirt there, I thought maybe he'd be wearing a tie. Oh, shit. Oh, you stayed up so late last night to watch that tie. I'm so sorry I'm hurt

Yeah Yeah It looks like it sucked Remember Micah Parsons Personally stopped you From winning the game at the end Remember the guy that left your team Personally made the tackle

That stopped you from winning the game at the end Damn I watched the whole game It is unfulfilling It's the worst feeling in the world Do you remember Why do they do that? You could find this, Christine, years ago

McNabb when he was was on the Eagles, the game ended in a tie. That's when I found out you could have a tie, because he didn't know. Like, I think he ran the clock out of what he thought was the first overtime. He ran the clock out because he was going to take it,

because they were, like, in a bad position, I guess, for something, he was going to just take it to the next quarter. And they were like, that's the game, it's a tie. He's like, huh? He could just end it a tie? He didn't know. He could just end in a tie? Yeah.

That's weird. When did this happen? When did they put this in? 2008? No, no, no. This has always been? I think it's been there. It just happens rarely enough, I guess.

I guess it happens more now because they both get a chance at a possession. I think that's what's about to happen, yeah. I always hated that other rule where... It was a bad rule. Terrible. Sudden death, whoever gets the coin tossed. It was like lopsided like 70% of the games they win if you win the coin toss. Yeah.

Damn. That sucks. Yeah, it was the Bengals 13, 13, 13 in overtime. And he was like, I didn't even know you could do that. I didn't know that go down what he says he said I didn't know that I've never been part of a tie I never even knew it was in the rule book some finding it inconceivable that's fucking hilarious that does suck not them Patriots yesterday though 40 some points huh yeah but where we're all right who'd you play against the jags the yeah was it yeah

was a panthers who was it panthers there was a panthers tightness I think it was Panthers. It was Panthers. It wasn't the Jaguars. I was in and out of it yesterday, though, dude. I was wiped out. Yeah? Yeah, I got home.

I think flying, doing that early first thing out. Yeah. Is getting to me. Oh, for anyone that's confused by what we're saying here, me and Bobby were both, we opened for Shane this weekend. In Hollywood, Florida. Hollywood, Florida. Lauderdale. Hollywood.

The Hollywood, yeah. Two shows. Two shows Thursday, Friday. Mm-hmm. That's a great venue, man. Man, that's a big deal. It's a great venue. Hard Rock Live?

High Rock Live is a beautiful theater. It's great. It really is nice. Cool place. It's, uh, yeah, it's awesome. Awesome casino, mall. They have a mall inside. Your nephews came and, uh, I brought him into a room and I was like, uh, I was like,

Shane, Bobby come over Jacob's nephews over here. They want to take a picture and Bobby was like, he was like, he's, that's not true. That's a hundred percent not true. He told me the opposite. I didn't even see them. Yeah, they were brought to us. separate room yeah that's bullshit that just shook my heart because did i you know you didn't do it i know i know i convinced you you did it i don't know that's awesome no i didn't i i was looking

forward to seeing your nephew so it would have been great they loved you you guys that's yeah yeah well what's not to love they're all such fucking wonderful florida jews everyone was like we i listen you all the time when i'm in law school things like that are being said from i realized i texted you like no they're they're not going to be a problem they're good kids one's a doctor He's a pilot One's a lawyer And one's gonna be a lawyer

They're actually doing better Than everybody in this room Nephews were actually the only ones Doing coke at all So that was fucking weird Was that the one doing coke? Those two Oh yeah yeah yeah

That was pretty wild They were gone But they said it's for studying So I believe them I want to believe them It's weird that he's bisexual too It was weird that he told me He does bisexual stuff

Yeah that was the guy he was with The older guy Yeah He said he blamed you for asking him For shirtless pictures so much I don't think it's your fault but you guys deal with that at Thanksgiving I didn't take a picture with him there but later that night back in my hotel room I do have some pictures if you want to see

them yeah he sent some pictures yeah I gave him a full body back rub I didn't know it was your nephew I figured that's you wanted you probably figure you goes damn you're tense and he knows that you're tense but you won't let him touch you the way a boy would yeah so your nephew's definitely got molested by Bobby yeah no I wouldn't say molested they did say we didn't see Bobby yeah I was yeah he was behind him the whole time rubbing them down yeah they had no idea what's happening but that was bobby behind them it was such a um it was it wasn't as crazy as the weekend before last the weekend before was nuts i was with chain uh in tulsa and uh houston told you did i bring the vibe down no you don't

bring the vibe down you couldn't that what happened in houston was just nuts which i can't talk about what come on no i don't you can't talk about everybody got laid it's not a good story it's I can't talk about it, ever. I can't talk about it ever. No, nothing. It was probably borderline, like, illegal. It was crazy. I'm surprised it wasn't in the newspapers, but he can't talk about it.

It was magical. Let's put it this way. It brought old Bobby back. Really? You've never met old Bobby. We have. Oh, no. Not this guy.

You've seen your moves. Oh. In Vegas. Oh, in Vegas. I think the thing was they were all hanging out with. Oh, I thought it was going to give us a women. Women. Women.

and men men it was great I'll have sex with both of them women men how many can I fit of them but Shane really takes

I mean he really does I mentioned we should play Texas Hold'em and he was like we should get a table and just like power is so crazy to me that you can just be like just go get a table and he got like a special VIP table in the back just for us and our own dealer and our own like security people to sit around us while we played the lowest minimum Texas hold them you get you get it was crazy it was like two dollars buying two dollar buy in two dollar buy in yeah two at break you the break a five

dollar chip it was so but it was so good because none of us know how to play really especially me his assistant didn't know how to play which is the funnest because nobody can really clock you because you're winning on you're just going all in on nothing oh first night see I did I got my shit handed to me the second night we played

first night I cleaned everybody out and left and dipped out because yeah because I was and that's what it was nobody can read me because I still know what I'm doing I'm like all I'm doing is thinking while I'm looking at it I go I guess I'll still play you know and they be like and then the latest go like

like you could raise or check and I'm like check is nothing right and raise it and I look at my cards again I go I guess raise it and I'd be like 15 ago you have to raise double so it's got to be 20 I'm like okay then that yeah but you knew and then people just start folding around you like ah it's what the fucking j's got something I'd be like is a three and a six anything no you didn't wear shades bobby so that they couldn't see your tell no I didn't have I didn't have my transitions on. But it was so weird because it got to the point where Shane, Shane was tipping the deal of so much money and they were changing every 20 minutes. What the fuck was that? So I'm like, this is costing him so much money. Like, Lou got nervous. What the fuck was that? It's weird. I'm

saying that they changed dealers every 20 minutes. That was wacky. Well, they changed deals every 20 minutes and he had to tip every, he was tipping every one of them. So this game was starting to cost him so much more money than he could possibly win from any of us. So then, though, I think he did okay on the shows though I think he did all right no I think he did make I forget that he's making you know I'm crazy I think they paid him for those but here's the thing to give out he kept at one point the second night when you left it was just us four and he just was like all right fuck this let's go let's play and he's like all in like firsthand as soon as he's like all in and you're like I wanted to

not like I wanted to fold but I felt bad trying to to win his $262 he had in front of him. Because every time, the longer the game goes, the more money it would cost him, he would have to tip these dealers money. So he was just prolonging, I'm like, fold, fold me and Tommy, all fold. He said, come on, you fucking pussies, let's play. And I'm like, yeah, but this 280 means something to me,

and I know it means nothing to you. But I'd feel bad because you're paying me so well. I just, I just take my money. $10,000 stack he tipped every 20 minutes. No, he didn't. 10,000. He did not. He was 200.

That's the kind of money he's got. He was $200. And he carries it in a duffel bag, and they're all wrapped with those little stickers that say $10,000. That was the week before. Oh. Serious XM money. Yeah.

I'm talking serious X-M scratch. I'm talking old Jason Ellis money. I almost wanted to become a dealer just to get tipped out by Shane. He was... He's so generous. He is fucking crazy. But he is... That's his nature, which is great, and he should be.

I mean, he's like, he's making. a bazillion dollars making a bazillion dollars but i've been with people who make a bazillion dollars and don't tip let's put this way i played texas hold them years ago with somebody and they certain physical comedian and they physical very physical and he beat all of us and took all our money is he a guy did he write i think i know you're talking about did he write a fucking ballad that it will melt your heart unless you're fucking frozen yeah he did he did write a ballot okay and then at the end of it when he we were we were playing for more money we all had to put $500 in and he won and took all our money and they went

fucking yes and then left and we're all like oh he's going to give this back right because we need this like for food during the day you know and shit like that and he just took it and then he took all that money and went to a high end slot machine and won 5500 and then took that Nice. And then that was it. And I believe... I think I know you're talking about. Yeah.

Did this guy ultimately fuck a child until they were old enough to marry? I don't... I don't... That's allegedly... But we're talking about the same person, though. They might have met on Game Night. I don't know the age... I don't know, but there was definitely games involved.

Okay. I don't know if it was a... I think we're talking about the same person, then. Did his brother take all of his money? It might... Maybe that's why he was taking our money because it was in him. Oh, hang on it. Maybe that's right a second.

Okay. I bet this is my, this is my therapy. I remember that the opener, though, had no money. He was actually taking snacks from the green room and putting it in a napkin, like a hobo, and wrapping it up to eat later at night because he didn't have money for the fucking room service because we had to use our own credit cards on the room service.

He took all of our money. Hey, man, that's winner. Winner. He was a winner. He was a winner. So. That's a good song. What is this?

Who made this? Things go in the pay. The past dictates the future My favorite story ever But we're all living in the year and now So playing with Shane I felt a lot better Let's put it that way

And I believe Stealing my friend's money He tipped the dealer A 25 chip coin I only tip a hot white chick Here's $25 Bobby Go get yourself and Gary something to eat

Every fucking thing I'm doing You have to somehow get in and break a rule It was a different time I think money Money was more then right Yeah It was funny Tommy Pope was my favorite though

That fucking That guinea is the best We were walking down the Me and him woke up early on Friday morning And we walked the beach but he comes out and like he's just a good looking human being

just fucking gorgeous and he came out in shorts and a um he had a shirt on but then he saw I had no sleeves he goes I'll be right back and he came back with no sleeves we were walking down the beach I've never seen gay men it was like fucking it was crazy

dude he's got the mustache they were just he's got that fucking mouth muff he's got that mustache he's got a five o'clock gray five o'clock shadow he's got Elvis hair and he's got this fucking gold chain and he's tight and he's walking down and I'm

I just feel like a fat bitch next to him. I'm just a fat friend and these guys are just stopping in their tracks. I mean literally breaking on their rollerblades just to get a gander at this fucking gorgeous wop man he's good looking

I had one gay guy look at me but he was just me looking back at me. It was just too queens like hey i'll never i'll never get him but i'll definitely get you um we're on the beach throwing the football he's this this is why i knew i never had a father we're throwing the ball back and forth and he and all of a sudden he goes hey loosen your grip that's all he said i and i was like okay and i loosen my grip spirals just spirals spirals i never was taught how to throw a football

i'm gonna teach you at a bowl soon this this cocks second went hey losing your grip kid and i just and just he goes there you go i was like thank you tommy thank you dad you showed me everything oh god i was playing uh they had the water ball and him and shame would just throw in the ball at me and i was dude it brought me back to when i was just a kid with no dad because every time i caught a good one or threw a good shame would be like good one bobby that was a good that was a good toss i was like thanks thanks guys thanks for being my dad even though they were talking shit i could hear them talking I get here the water was just as fucking kid he's not as bad as I thought he was oh by the way first night I got heckled yeah that fuck me up too I was on stage and

why did I fuck I was like I welcomed it like when she said it and most people didn't hear yeah like just the people around her heard I I waited for this I waited for to stop and I was like what did you say I always have to engage it I was like what you say and then she wouldn't answer I was like I didn't hear what you said I just didn't hear you said she was like bring Shane on I was like you think I'm holding him up you think this is impromptu where he was going to come on

and I was like hey wait wait wait I'm gonna do some time it fucked me up because I have to go on after you and if you didn't if like you know now I know that there's people just waiting for Shane and they got fucking 25 minutes left so then I said that I was like you know I might hold and the crowd started booing her

and I was like don't booing her I go she's just drunk and whatever I go I go you know I said something I was like she's just drunk oh yeah it's like the same thing I was like if you boo her too we can't tell we're not we're like bowling over her saying something else stupid and then um the crowd stopped booing and then she started booing me and I was like are you booing me and she goes yes I go I just tried to save you cunt face then they then they kicked her out apparently well Shane was pissed Shane said that the last week he's like sometimes they he got a little nervous because sometimes they start yelling out of

of course bring out Shane yeah and uh he got as soon as she did that he got pissed and like left and then she was just dragged he he did some something because she got dragged out of that no he didn't call that that was just security just did that I think no I no it was I was right there they he called he talked to what's her name and to handle it oh really yeah yeah I was right there because he seemed surprised when they came in she was like they kicked that girl he was like oh really good yeah I think rose oh great was uh she was like fucking the guy came up to her and then there was like a little talk and the Shane's assistant yeah it was um then I went out there that they had the they have a count

up clock which is awesome because you know exactly where you're going to be and they didn't do it this time they just had a clock so then my brain was fucking I looked down at nine and go okay I got I got you know six more minutes and they looked down was nine five I was like what's nine five you've only been five seconds I've been talking for a long time just five seconds. I don't know what nine, five, how to... Minutes feel like seconds when you're up there. And then I thought the guy just stopped the clock of me, and then I didn't know where

it was. Then I looked, I'm like, oh, that's the time. And then I don't know how to do math quick. So I don't play blast. So I was like, I got up here at what time? So I'm in my head trying to add up how many minutes? Bobbi stopped talking for a full four minutes on stage, standing, looking freaked out at a clock.

The audience was puzzled. There was crickets. But they were waiting for something to happen. And then Bobby just went, he looked at. up and when it said 906 he yelled marshmallows, threw the mic into the audience. The place went nuts. And then ran off stage.

I just realized though, the catch you had with Tommy Pope was actually the first positive football interaction he had with a comic. The last time you had played football with a comic he made you pay for your knee surgery.

Oh, the other guy. There's a lot of parallels to my last tour and this tour yeah yeah last time I I broke my knee dude and then this this this time I actually learned how to throw a spiral Listen

Was he gonna do pay for all your shit dude The guy's got to self-produce an album of ballads Yeah that's true I mean I did pay for both knee surgeries Do you think that falling Just hits the shelves magically You think the guy writes falling And then it's just out there doesn't work like that

I'm pretty sure Barry Katz owes me $200 Isn't that fucking weird yeah it was uh very to go i've been on these tours before i've done these arenas and this one was so this one week was great too because you were there because we were just you know it was uh just fun and silly and a good time you know and you were going out i mean this is the funny part i was talking to galvin from the mike calta show who went to the show in um orlando and uh he said uh everybody came out and it was in the round and everybody was working the round he goes big jay came out sat down and faced one way the clock the whole time he didn't fucking turn at all i go i go we should

we're gonna get we gotta get jay a lazy susan like just the stool that turns every applause break turn do one of the cities one of the cities in between laughs i heard a guy go i was like you know it was like a good laugh and then the laugh died you know it was like slow and then i hear someone go turn around i'm like no look over your shoulder no Jay, what makes you pick the side, though? That's an interesting... I just said, where the clock is. So wherever the clock is, you're going to sit down?

Yeah. Oh, that's fucking hilarious. That was funny. And I try to do, like, so, you know, it's in a corner. So I sit down and face the corner, like, next to it, like, right across from it. Right. So I use, like, the seeing space of, like, basically... There and there.

Like, three quarters of it. Right. Because I'm looking over here to see the clock. Yeah. And you're kind of playing around like this way. Let me tell you something. In an arena of people, it is pretty funny. I don't think you know this.

Me and you talk to the exact same two people. Oh, really? The couple. I didn't know. They must feel like celebrities, the fact that they were like, yo, there's 30,000 people here. And two of them talk directly to only to us. Dude, you go out, it's such a ballsy move.

Because I go out and I'm just like, I want to keep moving to get, you know, this dude goes out, sits, faces one way. Literally back towards 10,000 people. They'll sort it out. There's screens. There's screens for this very reason. Literally, 10,000 people have his back,

and he just fucking murders this whole 15 minutes. If I was doing an hour, I would turn, I would quarter turn every 15 minutes. What you did in? Well, he did it in Wells Fargo Center when you did it. Started to. I started to turn. I told the crowd, I go, every five minutes, I'm going to turn.

And then I did five minutes, and I finished up over there. And then I turned. And then this couple that I was talking to, though, over the, before I turned, there was just still more like just a more juice in there to squeeze out so I was like I'm gonna go back over here

I just turned back and put my stool back in front of them I go yeah I don't know I like these people let's make a music video for falling like an emotional like a real Chris Isaac black and white me and you fall in love maybe no we should just do it to all the things he's done to me

I don't know I see me and you going through a tumultuous like you slam the door and I throw a plate at the door no no no I got it Everything that happened to me on through my years with him, you are there to pick me up. You come in. When I break my knee, you're the one that I look up and your just hand is there and you bring me up. I know.

And then, you know. When you have to commit suicide by a paintball gun to get yourself out of the game so game wins. Yeah, yeah. Kill yourself, Bobby. Take yourself out of the game. Oh, Dane, come on, dude. I want to play the game too. Shoot yourself in the chest with your paintball gun.

All right, bud. You're out Bob's out You're wrong Try to ruin It's fun Breaking rules The poker game

When I lose my money And I needed that 500 Oh That's so fucking fun It's called forward Huh? It's called forward Oh what do I say

Falling? Yeah Oh right forward Forward Forward Forward It's an honest mistake I wish we could go forward

Till your legal age Jacob does Does it bum me out that she doesn't really post anymore? It does bum me out. And when she does, it's all like... She belongs to him now. Religious stuff.

You're the perfect age if we were in Tijuana. Yeah, such a difference between that tour. And, like, on that tour, on edge a lot. Well, before you judge... Even what I wore, I would be... I would be like, hey, man, you're wearing that? Like, what? We haven't even heard Shane's ballad yet, though.

But it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. While we're talking about Legends of Music, I will let you know that I look today, and it's worth a peak. Hecate's Torch is still at it, and there's something I kind of wanted to look up. What time was it? Oh, good.

Hecate's Torch, remember them? Forced to embrace everything. Yeah. They keep making music, and they have a show, a date on the books. that they're playing live show live show uh it's in canada um that's where they're from where they's where they live that's where the i don't know if you remember this that's where the wizard frog sorcerer was at and then the witch mermaid fat came to canada because the dream of canada sorcery and they have a cat i forgot i did forget thanks for i could taste tour christian if you

could please bring up the about us please i'm sorry i got a quick reminder i'm explaining it bad it's a great website though with the flames i could tell you's torch is a compelling force in the underground music scene uh okay okay hang on a second what the fuck happened they changed it because they go to publicist what the fuck is that about they're trying to make it dude no what happened when the fucking mermaid left fucking poland because she had to find a sorcerer is that the our story yes yes oh thank god once upon a time in the middle of the toured amazonian jungle lived a red-haired witch who started singing at the age of five having lived as a mermaid in a past life her most precious gift was her voice as you could hear she loved her land

and her people but many times she had visions of herself living in a snowy land surrounded by mountains and the companion of her true love. But she's a mermaid. Right. So you think she'd have to... Past life. Gotcha. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

On a beautiful full moon night, her mother, Hecatee, the queen of witches, told her that time had come to embrace, forced to embrace, her destiny and moved to Canada, where her new life awaited. Meanwhile, in the land of the freezing tundger lived a wizard, poet and musician,

who had lived as a job. dragon in a past life. He, as our Amazonian girl, also did he fighting his true eternal love. Unfortunately, he was fighting three dewees in court. No, he didn't say that. Arriving in Canada, or which mermaid creates

a public event to celebrate her goddess, and guess who shows up? The wizard dragon! And that is Hecate's torch. Forced to embrace. Isn't that a robot? Oh, look at Don on guitar. Just Dawn.

Okay, look at this Okay, so Is Tyler Finley playing drums for them? The cat's in the band, by the way Is that Tyler Finley playing drums? Yeah, yeah. No shit. Yeah.

Wow. They got him. They got Tyler. I know. I would sue them if I saw them on my grandfather's plot. God, do I hate... At a cemetery? Do I hate top hats?

I fucking hate them. It's the dumbest hat. Yeah. So bummed out that Lincoln wore a top hat. But you know what's funny? It's interesting. You don't like top hats. No.

But he wears one and you do want to watch what he does, which means that you have been forced to embrace. Thank you. I just don't understand a top. What is it, every hat has a purpose, right? Yeah. What is the top, is that to store things? Yeah, to keep a rabbit in.

It's to keep stuff. You've been consistent with that. I believe you even said slash, you don't like Slash's hat. Oh, I hate his, because I know his head smells. He never takes it off. It's just a stupid, sweaty leather top hat that he keeps on. I don't like it. Can you go, yeah, let's hit the new videos,

because they've got a new one that's pretty fantastic. It might be the queen of witches. The new lyrics are. They didn't update their YouTube with the new song? You know how busy witches are? Well, mermaid witches. Past-life mermaid, current witch. So let me ask a question.

was a mermaid before and then became a witch right she died i guess the mermaid died is the evolution of a mermaid okay i got you okay go right there with the knife is a great one i love this is me if i met the wrong guy this is you i assume this is you every weekend i'm gone in the backyard you fucking dress dawkins up in a fucking dress dawkins up in a cape yeah rebecca dresses of the dude the Halloween Bash Music Festival at Mount Doug if anybody in Victoria

British Columbia is listening to this Do you know what that is right In Canada That's an island Huh You have to fly to it That's an island All right if anybody's listening to this

Who knows anybody who lives on the island It's hard to get to Just so you know You're going to be in what can only be described as the Bash of the Century The Halloween Bash Music Festival the festival that features how many not one not two but three bands that's one hell of a festival

one day i assume uh one day festival i hope it's a two day the festival begins at four p.m and ends at eight p.m. what else is happening besides a band it ends it's four hours that's plenty that's not a festival that's not even a concert it's four hours that's half a UFC that's a skate fest pre-party can we can we contact them is there a number we can call them just look to the sky speak to a fire Christine do you have any do you have any feathers and dream catchers to contact them if you have a way we can is there something we can cast to bring in here yeah can you can you kill a squirrel and put it in your louis Vuitton box I don't do animal shit I don't sacrifice things

No, she does it the wrong way She goes out and kisses a goat I have to kiss a goat I have to blow a fucking newt She cuts her own hand And puts it in goat milk And then drinks it Yeah

I thought I needed a goat head Oh I thought you said give a goat head The head of a goat you meant Oh I'd get a little witch hat for our dog Take your Drip cup and do a

seance with it. Christine's got our backyard. Our backyard's got grass, privacy, and plenty of fire. Christine's definitely done weird shit out there.

There's a hole in our grass. No reason. You dig a hole? Never seen a dog digging that hole once. That's where she puts her drip cup. She drips it instead of the toilet. She's very possible. She waddles out in the backyard

with it in and then tips it over. I'm telling you, whatever she summoned is coming in and out of that hole. No, Dawkins kind of fucking dead baby bird and a hole and now she's looking for more wow nope it's the only hole christine killed the bird christine may have killed the bird she killed the bird that's possible and did some type of thing i didn't even bat around the idea that christine more than likely killed that bird it just hit me now and i don't like it i didn't kill the fucking bird christine you

murdered a bird thank god rebecca was there to be a man and clean it up for me Rebecca just came out It wasn't even dead She just grabbed it with her fist and smushed it Yeah She finished it off It's not going to fly again It's not right to leave it

Damn it Did you Did you hear what happened to Theo? Poor Theo Vaughn man Had a breakdown On stage Filming a special dude I thought it was like a moment

More than a breakdown Because they said I read the stuff It was like three Like a third of the crowd left He said he's I don't No, he said, he was on stage and he didn't know where he was and he was having a hard time. He kept asking for help off stage and then there's that video of him saying to the crowd.

I'm trying not to take my own life. Yeah. Which seems extreme for a rough set. I don't know. I feel bad. I don't know him, but he seems like a sweet guy. You know, when you watch. Every time I've been very nice. Yeah, like a sweet dude. It just sucks because he's killing it right now. He's just, every, you know, I mean, his podcast is going nuts.

Well, he had the thing where he went off on the guy at the bar and stuff. It might be going through it. It might be on drugs or so. I don't know his history. I think he's sober, dude. I think he's clean. Right, but as I'm saying, maybe he's not right now. Oh, that sucks.

I don't know that to be true. I'm just, I'm making guesses on why the behavior's erratic. Right. You know, maybe. Maybe that's just a sucky thing that you're special. Tap it at your special, yeah. You're stressing over it. Yeah, it's just, you know, everybody, those are your fans.

They're coming to see you. Yeah. Film this thing. And it just sucks that it's out there, you know? Maybe he crossed Hekate's torch, and they laid down some kind of a... Maybe Christine's dead bird had something to do with it. Maybe Christine put a spell on him. Yeah, yeah, he had a rough one.

They said it was a beacon, right? The Beacon Theater sold out, and then people all over the place saying that he was... They were saying that he kept asking, where am I? What do I say? What do I say next? Which, I mean, in a special, if you fuck up, I have no problem with... you saying I fuck that up I'm doing it again yeah I know me and you would never do that I've never done it but I've seen people do it I've seen walk away what do you mean I just

walk from the joke I'd be like I'm not we'll get it next to next set what if you didn't have another set I've already whiffed it twice you whiffed it twice jokes out of the set you're done yeah that's pretty balzy well your director would probably stay to it again no you wouldn't do it again? Mm-mm. Because you'd know? I'd rather correct it in ADR somehow. Good word.

You know what I mean? Have the, like to have a pickup or something on it versus going out there and saying it again and having them fake a reaction. You'd rather go up. Would you go back out and do it without the crowd and then have them put the crowd in it? No. No, Bobby. I'm also trying not to kill myself.

I don't have a problem with it. I've seen people do it. I've seen Keith do it. Keith fucked up a joke on his half hour. And they came out and they said, yeah, you gotta do that again. And he was like, all right, whatever. I was like, fine with that.

Because it is a special. Oh, I think on my half hour, they may have made me go out and say a few lines, just lines. Right. But not like a joke again. I've heard, like, Barbiglia historically, like stops the set and just goes,

I'm going to take that again from the top, everybody. Yeah, Nikki Glazer did it during that degenerates thing. She stopped, like, 13 times. Really? Yeah. We all went out there and did like 15 minutes, 20 minutes straight. Yeah. And then she was fucking her shit up.

And then put you like in a position where it's like, as the audience, do you see him come out of it? And it's like, so then I says to her, God damn it, it's a guy. It's not a girl. I got to take that from the top. Do you mind if we go? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah.

So I says, you know, put it the smile back on. It's such a weird thing. That's straight acting at that point. But that's the only people that know that are the people that are there. And then when you watch her degenerates, she murders. Like, it's flawless. Because I watched it. I was like, I want to see what, you know what I mean?

If there's any hijinks, and there was nothing. It was like, wow. And then there was a couple of things that I fucked up, little things, you know, that will bug me. Nobody knows. But I was like, fuck, you know, maybe I should have stopped and went, hey, guys. I don't know. To me, it's the ideas you're capturing that hour as told in that moment. I think so, too.

So, like, that's how I would play. is right there what do he say he's trying to end his own life i hope it's not really that i hope he's all right serious i think he has to squat and do a peace sign to take a picture i think it's also that also might be like him saying like to be funny or something i don't know what's going on yeah i hope he's all right because by the way by a lot of it camp people are like oh it was terrible and i left but there's a bunch of people that were saying like i don't know there's still plenty of funny stuff he did well here's the thing though richard pryor sunset strip first night bombed he fucking bombed

nobody knows that he fucking ate his dick the first show didn't get laughs uh Mitch Mitch Heybird bombed his half hour special well he was literally passing on heroin he fucking bombed no laughs and they you know but uh people bomb all the time

you know what I mean on special my first special the lady fucking died I mean she passed out and the whole thing stopped I had an eye headache I felt like someone was sticking a knife in my eye literally I felt it like I'm off stage watching them drag this lady out

and my eye just started hurting and then it felt like somebody was sticking a knife in my eye and then I look over at Lou and he goes we're good and I walk back on stage and I remember it was 5,000 degrees in there and I had that leather coat on that because I was trying to recreate Elvis's comeback special

stupid fat fuck and I remember I remember I felt sweat go over my eyeball at one point like the drip just went over my lid through my eye and I was like this is this is so bad I've never bombed a special thank God but I have bombed almost 100% of the filmed showcase things I've done in where hecate's torch is home Canada yeah I have eaten shit on 100% of televised things I've done in Canada HBO yeah uh the nasty my first nasty show that they recorded and put that out that went well but any of the

gala I've eaten shit exclusively on gala's the TV show they make you do Kevin hard's TV show by the way I gave Bobby uh Bobby got turned on I could have had Bobby this weekend I could have fucked him yep when we were backstage Saturday night hang on why so real quick why are you laughing I don't know why she's laughed why you find this funny I'm sorry I it's okay I I'm just saying, go ahead. I just remember what it is. Okay, go ahead. It's, I came,

Bobby was watching Shane from side stage, and I went and grabbed myself two beers. I was going to sit and watch them, so I grabbed the beer to drink and a, and a full one to bring it over there. And when I walked in, I sit next to Bobby, he goes, he goes, that's cool,

he goes, you got one for Shane. I was like, if I was going to be somebody's chick, I would have done it for Kevin Hart 25 years ago. You think I'm going to start now. Hey, champ, I got your beer. I want to be the one to give him a beer after his show. Yeah, my dick got him really hard. I was like, if I was going to be someone's chick,

I would have done it for Kevin Hart 20 years ago? You gonna start now? I didn't say, I didn't say the way he said. I go, would you get Shane a beer? Yeah. I said it like, I didn't say, I didn't think it was a good thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's rework that story.

That's fair, that's true. I went, what do you get, would you get Shane a beer? Because Shane's getting off and he was going to hand him as, I was like, what are you, a fuck. He goes, if he leaned, because I was being the dick originally, like, you fucking loser. And he leaned in, he goes, if I was going to be somebody's bitch, I would have done it 20 years ago, a little cab. I literally went, oh, my God, that's the hottest thing you ever said to me.

So sexy what you just said. So sexy. Very, very fun weekend. Yes, very fun weekend. We got so much more to talk about. So much. Both our teams won. Yeah.

Is this the torch? Yeah. Is this early torch? Force to embrace. Big Jay. It's a... Big Jay is going to be at the helium. Comedy Club in Portland in Portland

October 2nd this weekend a funny bone in Columbus the 10th and the 11th then he's going to be in Washington D.C., Austin, Tampa, New Orleans for Skankfest for tickets and all the tour dates visit bigj comedy.com and visit his YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash at Big J. Okerson for his live

shows that he does now which are amazing and his specials are both up there and one of the, I mean, let me tell you this weekend, I really, I was talking to Calta, I was like, between you and Shane, it's like I'm watching people do comedy at the highest level. Oh. Like having to follow you, like you go out there and you just sit down, you fucking murdered every second of the show. And I was like, this is, it's fucking crazy. Good to see you, man.

You fucking, the whole show was powerhouse. Yeah, it was a great show. Bobby Kelly's going to be at the comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, October 10th and 11th. After that, Tampa, Florida, IMEA's Pennsylvania, New Orleans for Skangfest. That's my birthday weekend, by the way. So feel free to bring presents. To which one? The Rochester.

Rochester. That's my birthday weekend. Feel free to bring presents. And by presents, I mean your presence. Show up. Yeah. Bring your presence. And show your tits.

There's nothing worse than not selling out in fucking Rochester, New York. That's a shit feeling. For all of his tour dates, go to punch up that live slash Robert Kelly and his YouTube page, YouTube.com slash at. Robert Kelly, comedy. You can catch him every Tuesday night. 7 p.m. at the Fat Black Pussy Cat Lounge to Comedy Sower. We will be right back.

It's the bonfire.