The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Franchise Letdown

Episode Date: June 24, 2022

The guys talk about the Plug Talk Show on Only Fans, cheating in school, and Machine Gun Comedy.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

And now the bonfire with big J. Okreson and dance odor Dawg and on old rock stars Fuck old rock stars all these fucking phony's crusty dusty asses Tommy these are playing three songs. Oh Axel roses and even there it's a hologram old motherfucker. That's just a fucking bag lady That's a lady from the local CVS they got just to put up some scarves on mmm I was watching I'm back to watching rock and roll true stories again some goodies on YouTube yeah those rules today I watched the machine gun Kelly vs Corey Taylor full feud I didn't even know that was a feud oh yeah I'm I'm have to watch it oh he made it was uh this story's been out for a while

so Corey Taylor apparently did a track, I helped him with a track, did a verse for a track or something. And machine gun Kelly's claim is he didn't like it, told him to take it back and like make it better. And Corey Taylor said when he was just like, could you make some changes on? He said he wasn't like this is no good. He's like, oh, could you change this?

Yeah, you can change this. So your machine gun Kelly was very polite in asking and being probably and Corey Taylor said his response was, you know, he goes, I don't think like humbly. He's like, yeah, that's because that's what you want to do. Because I don't know if I'm the right guy for the gig. And then machine gun Kelly did a thing in a concert when they were playing at the same time, like riot fest or something. And he was like, Hey, some of you guys might, I can't believe you.

Thank you guys for being over here and not watching a bunch, like 50-year-olds were masks and blah, blah, blah, and shit on them and then Corey Taylor started firing back. But Corey Taylor did some interview with me, gave the anonymous, he goes, I'm sick of these guys coming over from other genres because they were like beat out of their other one and just thinking they could jump in the rock and roll.

I think you know you are, so it says at the end. So I mean, that's pretty direct also. That's just caddy. Everyone's caddy. Everyone loves, every business has that, you know, it's just like misunderstanding or someone's fucking ego. Machine gun Kelly, he's gotta be in his 30s, right? Ah man, he has like, he actually,

he's like, can I tell you? The Adam seems like 22 years old. I, he's 32. He feel, I thought he's older than that He He was on an episode of guy court. I think I told you that yeah, yeah, and he was a lot did you get him off? Backstage I did honey Travis Barker's like 46 and they're all okay. That's a weird hang dude machine gun Kelly 46 and they're all that's a weird hang dude machine gun Kelly 46

Machine gun Kelly and Pete it seems like Drive his bargers trying to get into some fucking weird twink boy shit He's like dude. I love making rhythmic beats and watching young boys dance to them You guys want to shave our tattoo chests and fucking roll around in a hot tub guys for the girls get home guys Let's do our let's do our crumpled up newspaper everyone make it hug his before those fat ass chicks get home all those gross dark hair slots over here get over here and bony fuck my bony ass with your bony bone oh guys I don't know if I want to do tattoo putting again oh man so much you could break if these guys hug they could break their clavicles on each other's clavicles.

It's like sharpening swords. Yeah. It's like when the fucking kicks where they break the leg in the middle. Yeah. These guys are fucking fatless. They won't hang out with you unless your chest is fully tattooed. I bet if you took a picture of Pete Machine Gun Kelly

and Travis Barker's dick, you wouldn't be able to tell which one was which. I bet they're took a picture of Pete machine gun Kelly and Travis Barker's dick you wouldn't be able to tell which one was which I bet They're the exact same everything color hue tone Darker on top lighter on the bottom does it look like I think in the middle or roll a canned biscuits before it's I'm trying to think away. I bet Pete's got the thickiest. I don't know. Yeah, it's my guess They then all hanging out though. What do they? Talk about just like pitouze Pete's got the thickiest. I don't know. Yeah, it's my guess. They, them all hanging out though. What do they talk about just like? Pettus.

Tattus. Tattus, dude. When talking about tattoos. What do they just like, just try? I'm thinking about got a pay saw by a side of my leg. Of course. I wanna do either Lee Javier Oswald or maybe like an actual game

a crossword puzzle. How old is Courtney Kardashian? That's the one Travis Barker's with, right? Let's get everyone's ages in the mix here. Christine, do you want to hang out with them bad? So bad, she does. She's lying. She thinks she wants to.

She'll hate it in two hours. She can't imagine me and my fucking jeans in a wrestling shirt hanging out with all of them. Oh, she's 43. Okay. So Travis Barker's only three years old there. It's not crazy. Yeah.

The Kim Kardashian Pete, Pete's the guy that you think, but a machine gun Kelly to me seems younger than Pete. Almost behavior. What's crazy about the guy court thing is how excited Pete was to meet machine gun Kelly. Oh Yeah, Pete was like part of guy court and he like showed up and was like, oh my god He's gonna be here and now they're like close friends butt buds fucking

Can you bring up the trailer for machine gun Kelly's in a movie like I know from doing all those things like he is He's jumping into comedy. Let's see if he, let's be cool. Let's be cool. Let's be cool. Let's be cool and see if we can laugh at a thing in this trailer. Jay? Yeah. I'd I. Friend of friend. Yes. willing to put heavy money that there is a under three laugh. Under three. Okay. I'm not taking that. I'm not even be surprised if you shut it out. I'm looking for a complete shut out. Should we try to be completely silent to see who cracks in the room? Like anybody laughs at anything?

Can you open your heart? Can everybody open their heart to this? Are we gonna try to be positive? Because by the way, we're talking about Jurassic Park, the new Jurassic Park, which is the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen in my life. I can't wait to hear your review on it. Did you see it? No, I didn't see it either, but I said,

I think it's funny or if Dan just described, because I've got some thoughts anyway. I'm gonna tell you right now, I got a good eight, oh fuck you, out of me watching the movie. I'm sure. It's very rare. I wanna give a movie a chance, just like we're gonna give this a chance.

It's called Good Morning, but instead of morning, it's spelled like, everybody be quiet. The lawn's very rare. I want to give a movie a chance just like we're gonna give this a chance It's called good morning, but instead of morning it's spelled like everybody be quiet the lawns up morning Everybody quiet, okay, and we're all gonna see if we can do it Anybody in this room starting this up right back Christine. I don't like that freeze frame. That's not helping Anybody in here coming in without preconceived where there go? I think machine on Kelly's actually all right. And I'm prepared to laugh. Anybody coming in like that at all. Black Lou, you a fan? You're not a fan of DJ Lou at all. No, he's a dish. You're coming negative. All right. Christine. I do think he's all right. I don't think this is going to be funny. He scored, he scored, like it's a fucking film. He did the music for WWE 2K22, and I had to go into the thing

and turn off all the songs, because it was bucket me too much. I didn't do that, but you memorized the songs. I did at first, because I was playing the game so much, and then I was like, wait, I think you can change, did you find yourself liking a couple? There was one first, there was one chorus where I was like I was this machine gun Kelly and I felt 30 I'm trying to get into a good space. I totally know what you mean. I'm trying to get into a good. Listen, I thought

he is a I think he's a really good performer. Do you know what I mean? I think when he goes he's like does. He makes bold fashion choices. Any any rocks and he rocks it. And he rocks it, by the way. And as a man that gets, that is fucking unravels ever. We're a chain guy now. Oh, yeah, dude. That's a good length for you, dude.

Thank you so much, Katie McKinley, for my 2-2-2 chain. I'm rocking it right now. Mine's a choker. Yeah. Did you? Did you? Yeah. I think you have it on backwards.

Yeah, I don't know that. It's like ZZ top. Oh, dude. ZZ top rules hit the Grazy ZZ. Quick hit the range while Jacob. Will you wear mine because I don't you it doesn't fit me. I'll wear yours. Yes. I'll turn it around at the commercial break. Christina Sohot for machine gun Kelly. Yeah, she always works that in. Yeah, she does. She is hot form. Do you want to do you want him to carry around some of your blood in a nearing? No, talk about how you guys He I saw a thing where he was like our engagement ring if she takes off my engagement ring It screams

There's a dagger on the inside of it hurts to take off and you're like you Wait, if they need me I'll be done my tongue black fucking dork. I can't imagine sitting there and just being like hurt. Christy. To love me. Christy, my surprise on that is- Damn, it's just hold on, it's chaining day for Jacob. He's undeniably, unobjectively handsome fella. Handsome talented.

And yes, definitely a talented guy. But I'm surprised you like the, I mean, he is bony, skinny. And that's usually not what you're into. I mean, even guys that I would be like, I think you'd wanna fuck that guy, like machine gun Kelly, I'm surprised you. I'm surprised you're so angular.

I'm not into. I don't really understand what I'm not into. I feel like I'm all over the place. Okay. So I think- I would fuck all of them. Yes, all every single one of them, you just named Travis Barker Pete Davidson and machine gun Kelly Well, let's watch this trailer. Yeah, please objective

Objectively everyone we're giving this a chance This is my person Aston of Draco mouth-woy looking for drugs Where's the pot pot pot pot pot pot pot Anyone know the number 9 on one? Oh! Yo, what was that one? Like Game of Thrones or something, I'm trying to get on one of those shows. Oh, yeah, I can see that.

It's a serious shit. My name is London Clash. I'm an actor on this show called Good Bad People. This is Apple. We've been dating for a year. I can't stop thinking about her. Good morning with the you. What the fuck? You know does this look like a breakup text to you?

Yes. We're getting your energy right, man. Oh shit. K-Knaa! Can I stop this real quick? Mm-hmm. I don't know what the feeling is in the room. Kat, Knaia! Can I stop this real quick? I don't know what the feeling is in the room. I have a positivity.

What's that? Shot beautifully? No. No, it was an ambit cinematography. He can act. Yeah. You can act. It's like believable acting.

Any anchor? Oh yes, everything so far about it. Okay. But he can definitely act definitely act Jacob your poker face is incredible How you feel? I feel nothing watching this. I mean, I don't like it. I'm not gonna watch this It just doesn't look it doesn't look good You think it's something you could spend a half a pack of marble lights. Yes, you could watching streaming watch this It's available now to stream. Let's keep watching. I'll tell you this is a Jennifer Lopez movie without Jennifer Lopez With a hymbeau instead of a bimbo dude, oh dude, him bow bimbo

Welcome to the new millennia Help you find your girlfriend In time, hi, can you push this meeting? No, I cannot push the meeting with the director of Batman apples like breaking up with me Is that when he comes? I'm making a Is that when he comes? Yeah, she gets involved with a rock star making a movie. She's in that food fighters movie What's the food fighters movie? Studio 666 about a haunted studio. It's like a it's trying to be like that It's like a monkeys type thing. You know, I mean, they're being silly. I don't think it's like it wouldn't be

Hatable enough because they're they get it. Yeah, they when I think when he went on stern and talked about He was like yeah, I always want to make it like a stupid like you know kissing the you know kissing the phantom park Whatever is really good star that So it's like you know, I mean like if they're not taking it seriously like I can't really judge it. Yeah, this is serious He's taking this serious. Yeah, go ahead, please Break your heart is It's money. Jesus Christ. That hoe is loyal.

You feel me? Oh my God. Movie man! So, Barry, yo, did you see Apple? Yeah. Did she say what she was going? She did, she actually. No, are you fucking crazy?

That's not necessary, sir. Let's actually... Yeah, I will be... I will kill you! My boys in trouble. This is how we fix everything. We're on a mission. Stop your engines.

Wait, so now it's a weed movie. Man, quit acting like a bitch. Smoke me! I don't want to- This has been the weirdest day I've ever. Fucking H. Christ. I got this. You're a cool cop or something? Yes, Stoney smurf go

I touched it Oh, this is my life Buddy, it's about a hundred cameos. Yeah Yeah It's like cameo filled What is this dust that's people man? I Think you're starting to do like a yeah, it's trying to be a stoner movie Well, you got Tom Arnold in there. Let me see all that right into it

I don't think that's right starting a guy a mod son Directed by Rodson. Throws a loves it. Throws a loves it. That's fine. I feel like it's like, you know when the popular kids, like the super popular kids, would try to be funny, and it was just off. And you were like, I don't think,

I don't think you get the joke. That's what that feels like. It felt like when someone tries to do a school presentation funny. I don't know. It was like, I'd be honest with you. It was, I thought it was gonna be significantly worse of a trailer. It's not bad as the reason it upset me. Yeah.

It's lack of not being funny as it upset me. Sure, it wasn't very funny, but it was like, it was just like very on the, it's gonna be like written by a 16 year old stone kid and they made it. I mean, one of the lines is that hoe is loyal. Yeah, but it's when he coming, so you know. It's that pop, she brought the gold.

It's that pop, it's that, that, get that Bing-Bing. Get a little bit of that. Pfft. No, yeah, it was nothing and it made me, even sort of kind of, and then Snoop Dog's voice being the voice of a joint. Everybody letting their joints at the same time. I do think 31 is a little old to like lean into that so hard.

It like guys on three. We're also, I don't think pot head movies work now that it's legal. What's the last one you genuinely liked half Bad head movie genuinely. I think half baked is my no no no I'm wrong. I'm wrong scary movie to I didn't like pineapple expression. I didn't like it more than half baked. I don't know half baked hit The other one genuinely was the first two I'm saying the other one genuinely was the first two Harold and Kumar's never saw either one of them laugh. They both really made me laugh and they're and they're so fucking dumb But like and they called me when I first watched him so I could watch them again with like I

Have the kind of that heart when I start watching on my gets fucking funny. Do you think I could get into it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right now They're funny. I'll watch them. I'll watch them hilarious. Is it just the first one I was seeing but I only saw the first one. He's in all of them. He's in all of them. He is the best part of this. He's one of the best parts.

I know. I know what's been said about him. Like I know people I think have great sense of humor love him and Neil Patrick Harris have heard that. Unbelievable. I'm telling him part two, which is like another one where you're like, they're making a sequel to this

like how good could it be? It's Rob Cordray, dude. They barely to bring him into. He's the guy looking for them. Yeah, and he's great. I'll check it out. I actually probably watched those this weekend. Yeah, it's just a total pussy hound.

That's something I never think. So great. Rob Cordray, it's like I never, when hot tub time machine was like advertising, you never thought that would be a movie, then like that's a really funny movie. I know it's really hilarious. It's a great, it was abca in it.

Yeah, it's a great airplane movie. Hot tub time machine. I watched you try to watch in Jackass on the way. Wherever. Jackass forever on the way to London. And I was in the middle seat, because I bought one of the last tickets. And the lady beside me was watching this like,

smart British show, you know how all British shows on the BBC are shot similar. Yeah. So I just saw what the camera looked like, and I was like, she's watching it. And there's Steve-o with a B-hive on his dick, going like, I don't know, man! It's just like, would you like to check in

all the vegetables and be like, excuse me, I'm causing the meal. Yeah, I'm watching the Yaka. Yaka, for a vow, it's great. I really, God damn dude, I was laughing so hard when they shut off the lights. That fucking part had me. I haven't laughed on an airplane that loud and that aggressive to something in a very long time

But when they shut off all the lights with the snake, I was fucking dying And there was some real snakes They're trying to get to the room and the room just sounds crazy when they open it because I found the door and he just splits He's like, don't go Dave! Yeah dude that fucking movie God damn those guys make me laugh. Yeah Dude, dude, dude, that fucking movie. God damn those guys make me laugh. Yeah, it's history. But yeah, you're right, Potted movies, I think now that it's legal, might be impossible to make. Do you care about the end of the world? I wouldn't call it super bad, it's not a weed movie. No, that's a comedy. That's like a coming of age story.

Yeah, dude, I think half baked might have been it. I don't ever gave, I think we've had this conversation Where I don't I think teaching Chong movies below totally didn't get it too young. I think we're both too young Maybe but just I don't know when they say it was done And everyone's like oh not even that part and you go I guess you really it had to be a place in time because Do they were so excited when I started comedy at laughs and Tucson that Tommy Chong was coming to do a spa like a weekend and I was like,

I never really watched it, but I'll try, I've been smoking weed for a while at that point and I put it all in and I was like, it's not moving me at all. It's not moving me at all and then I went and watched the stand up and I was like, I gave up. Yeah, it's just the tapped. It's been a me at all then I went watch the standup and I was like I just I gave up yeah, it's just the tapped Yeah, so hard winning now I don't know I haven't watched them in a while I bet I bet you would not laugh at them

You think it's time it was do you think Up still is when he's in the insane asylum and he can't scratch his balls I don't know I mean I've watched these movies like parts of them So let me ask you a question are we too old for good morning? Yes, well that's for sure are like 21 year old kids like that's fucking hilarious Sure, but the thing is yeah think of the talent though The especially the would-be careers and and town of half baked Brub, Chappelle

Neil writing it. Neil writing it. Neil writing it. Stephen Wright, guy on the couch. Um, Guillermo Diaz. Great. Yeah. Um, and then... Dude, he's fucking...

Now he's like a serious... Captain on Law and Order organized crime. Really? He's like a chubby, older gentleman now. I was like, is that him? Is him the Scarface? Yeah, Guillermo Diaz dude Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. Fuck you, dude that movie. I

Was right when I got a TV in my room. Mm-hmm and right when it was cool for I was allowed to smoke weed in the garage It was my first. I think it was my first DVD me to I one of them. It was one of the first ones I bought I bought like it was such a 16 year old purchase I bought half baked belly Something else like I think like straight up 49er highlights like I think you can like buy it at the earth and then like It what was the fourth one I forget but I know belly and I'd heat blue streak heat rule. I had heat blue streak I'd heat blue streak heat rule. I had heat blue streak and a half baked on DVD as like my first few DVDs We're both your first DVD players PS2. Yep No, you got a natural player. I think yeah, yeah, yeah, my was position to that's why I was like yeah so excited to get one yeah Yeah, so excited to get one. Yeah.

Then I got DVD porn Shout out to that with the you change the angles. I swear to you when even I had a DVD player I'd be like maybe back to my OGs man. Where's my VHS? You know how to move around faster? They tried too hard with Digital from the beginning so then they make those DVDs like you exactly change the angle But you would have then you get stuck on a purple menu And it's just a lady like riding a fake dick. It's got the squirt mayonnaise and are looking at you like this This is what you want you're like I guess from the side now is it oh, it just changes to like this now this I hit L1 and it changed everything

There's no interaction like with another person. It's just hardly yelling at you Also this also it feels so scientific after you come with a DVD and Dread a bullet like anything also DVD was so sharp the picture was so sharp and crisp It's when I realized that a lot of like I would get I loved like the huge come shot face soaking shit sure and And there's ones they have like the fake dicks which I'm not talking about them talking about when dudes is why I knew they in Peter North Dude he used to hose them down and And then you'd see sometimes The come not shooting out of where the dick like the above shot. Oh, yeah something's excwarting from underneath and you're like

It's like the first time I saw someone blade and wrestling. Yeah, I was like oh man That wasn't from a chair shot. You did that to yourself You psycho. Did you ever pride yourself on your DVD collection? We are porn. No, just of DVDs. We are like yeah, there's a big time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing to it Jacob I had racks. Yeah, you went on the cool the cool racks. Did you get? Yeah, I Think I still have them. What about you, Blackleur? Were you like super proud of it? Yeah, walk in you go sharper image racks. Oh, yeah, wavy. Oh, yeah. Those guys, I had a fucking a cad in it. A two door cabinet. That was like almost full of DVDs. And then when we moved, we put them in boxes. And then we went to Long Island. Those boxes, I think I told you this is so funny.

It got destroyed in the flood. All of them. It was fine. DVDs time was getting close to over at that point anyway. Talk about a drop off. It was 2011, 2012. Sorry, being like, you watch DVDs? Yeah, yeah, it was starting to get there.

I think when PlayStation stopped being like, I don't know. Yeah, you could put a DVD in me. I don't know, yeah, you could put it, put it TV, I don't know, it might work. But I think I may have said this before, but my ex-mother-in-law, when she was like trying to do something to clean up down there, I think the flood was like dream down everything. She told me this, yeah, she went home one day

and on a table in the backyard, hundreds of, or you know, a hundred, you backyard, hundreds of, or you know, 100, you know, maybe like, 100 and some? Yeah, rows. Yeah, rows, for sure. 100 and some DVD cases opened up like books, standing up on the table,

like, because she was, her ideas, you could dry them out. And I don't think you could, but let's just even say you could, the most difficult thing was, it was never discussed that many of these videos were also just, you know, like Yoshi, the community Yoshi, you know, Yoshi, I never knew him though,

but he used to work for porn companies. So he just give you like a bag of it, a bag of it. So she's drawing at these ones and it's like, you know, like suck my ass compilation number 13. And your mother-in-law is just setting it up in the backyard. So she's drawing at once and it's like, you know, like, suck my ass, compilation number 13. And your mother-in-law is just setting it up in the backyard. Yeah, fucking hard and long, cream pie slut-con. Yeah.

And it's just like, that's like, standing open next to like, next to literally like, Superman 3. Yeah, I mean, not no bullshit at all. But I used to buy DVDs so much that like, it was funny that I used to get a lot of shit because I used to go on like Tuesdays was like new DVD day. The bins go to the bins. And I'd go to Best Buy and see what the new release is wearing.

I'd kind of just buy whatever. So, yeah, you were telling me about that before. So, I'd have like a beautiful mind, you know, a movie like that. And then I, you know, whatever like the big movie, you know, like the gladiator, like that. And then, but I'd also get like, if the new movie was like fast and furious, I'll grab fast and furious, it was my movie theater,

I couldn't afford to go to the movies all the time, you know what I mean? So like, that was like my entertainment budget, was getting DVDs, but I'd, but then the rose in them, you'd always post my balls and stuff and be like, and Kurt, like, a J's of fast and furious guy, I go, I really don't watch fast and furious movies at all. I really don't even like, just like, a straight-outout action films at all. It doesn't do anything for me really

It was on sale, but now where the fuck do we go? Because now everything's digital so now everything you just stream so I said yesterday man If I could have gone the bed every night like as a teenager Mm-hmm and my TV I could like on YouTube forget even like the streaming services That's a make you watch any movie or TV show. Fine. To me, the YouTube thing, where I can watch like, just find a documentary right now on whatever, or just genuinely like if you're doing something in school,

I was like, I don't wanna fucking read this thing about, you know, Hitler's whatever in World War II, and it was fucking typing in the YouTube. There's like some video of it, and you can sit there and kinda drink it in a little easier. Here's what I wanna know. What's the cheat and situation in high school? Because I'm a huge.

Now with computers and everything, you can just cheat in so much more of a, you know, our generation, it was really the first generation where you had a home computer where you could print shit out to cheat. I think there's systems now. That's a skill, that's a skill for certain high school students that Know that schoolwork is lame. Yeah, you just want to cheat your way around. I think there's a system now of like entering things

I think like there's computer systems that like we're checking for not not perjury. What is a plagiarism they had that when I was in college. Yeah, they would do that with like while when I was at Arizona and Oh four five They already had that so they would do that with like, well, when I was at Arizona in 04, in the five, they already had that. So they definitely have that. But it's just so crazy to think of how you can cheat, like you could just, I don't know, put on your phone, do they check phones? They got to.

Yeah, they got to. Shasky as a Bella, how did you cheat in high school? Did you guys cheat a lot? Hell yeah, you think I did homework? Go home and get high. Yeah. I would ask somebody to copy their homework A decent amount. Yeah, well, I'm just you know, it's funny. It depends on the time of the year It really does and the beginning of the year

Like I always came in I was like they start you start my first report card Even would always be like pretty good. That's was almost my plan I'm like go hard in the beginning because they're giving you also in the beginning. Pretty light work. Yeah. It's the basis. It's, you know, it's the building blocks before you're going to. And I'm like, yeah, if I crush first report card, third report card, like if I just, if I just hang in there with some seas, do you ever doctor a record? No, dude, I would have gotten fucking, no, my mom would have lost her shit on that. I bet it rather just brought her a bad grade You doctored oh, yeah

Really one time had you I wasn't allowed my mom said if my if my GPA fell below 3.0 I yeah, I couldn't have a license. Oh shit. So she was like you have to have a 3.0 and There was I was working and it was like I don't. I was getting high a lot and I just fucking slipped and I had like all seas. And she was like, I know that report cards out. And it was like my junior year and she's like, I need to see it and I couldn't lose my license. Cause she was like, Trish doesn't fuck around.

If she says I ain't gonna have a license, she would pull that shit and she'd be like, you ride the bus, take the bus, ride your fucking bike to work. I don't know. So I went to my friend Joel's house, shot out Joel, my survival buddy. And he had a computer, like on his computer, fucking, we like, we scanned, he had a good computer.

He had to do the mainframe. No, we scanned my report card, honestly, he had a scanner at his house, and then he changed the grades and then printed it out, so it looked exactly like it I know I never found out. No, there's midterms and I got him up by the right now. She whoops your ass of things. I'll beat that bitch's ass dude. She's 75. I'll drop Step up step. I'm looking to take out

No pain dude. Oh dude three martini's in her. She might drunk in monkey style. Is that what you got? Yeah, is that you? Yeah, like you're fucking fact dad. She's like Brad You fucking let him come in you She's like Brad Pitt and snatch who she's like help up. This takes her shirt off. So I'll tie it up How many for a fight I show up in a halo Anyways guys my mom found out about my three I I think I eventually told her that I did that. Because I wasn't like that.

I wasn't as much as a dishonest kid as I was just lazy. In cheating, if you found good ways to cheat, it was like, well why wouldn't I? Yeah, I think my mom. Putting it under the Coke bottle move. When I learned that, that became a forcing fastball. Yeah. We were allowed to have 20 ounces of sodas

that they sold into Coke machine at our high school. Yeah. So I'd buy a 20 ounce. I would have it printed out all the answers on like four font. Drink some of the Coke, push it in, put the cap on, slide it under the label, and then let it out, and then I just had the answers of my Coke bottle.

Jesus. No, I never think, when I say, what's up? What's up? That's. Jesus. No, I never think, when I say, what's up? That's for real. Where am I cheaters there? My cheating is literally like, I was just good at like, checking out like, oh, well, the station kid up here probably knows what's up.

He goes, all right, he says B, I was thinking B, so I'm gonna go with B. In hindsight, I probably should just learn the stuff. Yeah, really. Well, my mom, you know what I said before, like, I mean, this ain't even getting trouble, I did. I would get punished a lot actually as a kid, but like, just know what I said before, I mean, this ain't getting trouble, I did. I would get punished a lot actually as a kid, but like, just like you gotta be in,

but I also was so integral in like taking care of my brother and sister, as they just didn't bust my balls a ton, but like, they more be annoyed by it and stuff, because my mom wasn't worried that I was stupid. She just knew like, I don't, you know what I mean? My mom saw me going towards the dark side. She would laugh at me like when she would see

like my friend Mark the Asian kid. Yeah. Like, you know, there'd be days where it was like, uh, you know, we'd walk home from school and my place was first and he'd come in for like a second. And I was like, you want to play Nintendo? Whatever it was at the time. Uh, Nintendo actually, and he was like, he's like, no, I have to go home and study. We have that thing the more than my mom be like, well, I don't, you have to like, shut up.

The fucking door. Why would you sit in front of my mom, you ass? I I don't you have to like, shut up. Yeah, fucking dork. Why would you say that from my mom, you ass? I'm like, I'm ready to play video game. I had so much trouble in, I was young in elementary schools when we were doing dioramas in school. It was like you had to build a diorama of something and I just didn't do it. And then I was just like, yeah, grab a marker and like, I'll grab a shoe box and if I can, boom, boom, boom, Murder boom boom boom It'll be business and my fucking best my best one of my best friends at the time Brian Moby came over with like a full Well done diorama and my mom was like Brian. That's really nice. What is that? He's like it's due today

And she was like just looked at me and I was like Brian's up. What's up? Oh my god, I think, Brian, what's up? What's up? Oh my God. I think she was like, what the fuck? I don't think I've told this since we've been on a faction talk, but it's still one of my favorite laughs in life. It was so mean and so bad, but a car all I tell you was like an African kid that went to our school. Then like John decides.

Yeah. And he was very meek and Stuart Neely, which is going to gonna like a big personality Blackhead the super tall. Yeah, it's just like funny as hell and he was just like you know Carl Let me copy your homework and he was like no He's like come on Carl let me copy your home. We just now you shit that's time it He's like come on don't be an asshole dude. Let me fucking copy your home. He's like no I will not let you copy my homework as fuck you Carl

He says in prejudice. Hey, my name is Carl. I'm black as shit. That's big yellow eyes Just him shit. No, he just said what he is Maybe like black is shit. I have big yellow eyes He should have done it the foreign kid Foreign kid foreign exchange students that just came, the kids that came here and also foreign exchange students, because I think we had a couple at our high school. He's like, how the fuck did you get through that?

I can't imagine. They're always a sweet, I don't know. I was always very nice to them. I was very close by. Cardney, Cardney was like a sweet kid. I'm just saying like, when you're in class, man, you're gonna laugh at the kid getting bullied once in a while when the guy gets a good zing and you're like,

I feel bad. Absolutely. You know, I've been made fun of those too, but that one just gets a good zing and you're like, I feel bad. Absolutely. I've been baited in front of those two, but that one just caught me. I'm blackish and I'm big yellow eyes. I'm just looking at Carl, he's just, he's looking at, he's just,

I was like plain dude. I mean, he didn't have like a hair style. He just had hair and big yellow eyes and he was so dark. Oh, Stuart really pegged them. Stuart got him dude. Everyone needs his Stuart. My Stuart was Benny Gordon. He was the one the first call out that my giant head look like alien from the movie Alien. Let me tell you, Benny hit a homeroom.

That's great. You'll be alien from the movie aliens. Yeah, alien from aliens. Fuck God, dude. Dead right. It's cheating now is actually epidemic in college that it's like there's They're paying kids in Africa and South America to do their complete all their work. So there's kids right what there's kids in Outsoir senior cheating maybe so funny with it with a surgeon sitting there with like Scissors in a scalpel and they go all right doctor. What's next he goes? like scissors in a scalpel and they go, all right, doctor, what's next?

And he goes, we had time to tell you guys, but I fucking cheated straight to this moment. That's true, that's the guy I have. That's the guy I have. I don't really, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm not gonna tell them I don't know what I'm doing. I got a degree.

I partied my dick off at Johns Hopkins, and it did not go to one lecture, which ones they awarded, they said I gotta do something with the A-O-R-D. It's like, don't help me out. Fuck him, nurse Jerkoff, anesthesia's wearing's just wearing off he goes well my patients is wearing off Cuz I should get here and I just do that that's a big step for me and he goes all right Here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna flip out and that's like you pissed me off

And I don't want to do this anymore. Excuse me. What? That's a crazy thing to say so close to June 10th Claims all off all right There's a major article like there's kids, there's kids and that's the only way they get paid now they can make money is just to call courses. I have a few students from here. Yeah, they do their course. So one kid did it. Where are these kids being, they're being hired online?

And where did these guys live? They live just in like other countries. Other continent, yeah. So there's some funny where there's one guy where there's like just a taxi cab driver in Pakistan and they're like, you already's like, I do have the knowledge of a bachelor degree from University of Connecticut. Well, one guy says, they do have you to me.

Did all this, he's basically a doctor without the degree. Go ask you. You gotta, he did all the work for a med student. I hope they cheer on the teams that they do the work for Those are the guys that are it's well there. They're they're so depressed because they've done all the work And they know that they don't get any credit and their lives are still miserable, but they're doing it for the paycheck and there's some girl There's just some 22 year old name Ashley who has her communications degree

All their hard thank you Wombu to sorry that that warlord fuck your shit up some 22 year old name Ashley who has her communications degree Thank you, my two. Thank you, one, two. Sorry that that warlord fucked your shit up. I hope it gets better, but honestly, have a sue ripped. Yeah. Hey, build an extra room on your turd house with this money. No, I am so. Exactly what I am. I am so good.

I hope you get some sort of straw roof. Hey, just so you know, fun tip, you can't hide from fire. It will get you. Stop being scared of lions. They're in zoos. No such thing as metal birds, it's an airplane, idiot. Just wrote me an aviation paper. How come on, you did a whole thing on Howard Hughes.

He's that big, middle bird? That's the big middle bird, you idiot. You sent me the work via Wi-Fi. The big one is law school also. Like a lot of them should have a completely did one person's because they'll stick with the same person. They will? They'll just do this entire guy's law. Oh, your courtroom part four.

Gungung. Gungung. I think that's my client is innocent because he's not in the courtroom. That's the whole point. He's got the knowledge. He's out. It's like a freaky Friday. Crazy. Yeah, it's like the idiot that just cheated some guy named Bryson who was like, I don't know. I went to Auburn's law school and then I paid some guy in Mexico to do my work. Oh, you got to talk to he's got a call some guy who's catching fish with his hands. They're scum, he's like, yo, I have a big case tomorrow and I really do any of this work.

I do not believe the Nebraska Commission's act of eight, twelve states that a person making a law against that will not have a foot to stand on. I reference you to the state of Massachusetts versus I don't know what that fucking means I paid a guy some guy in East guy didn't all my fucking work. I mean It's so different. I know it's longitude latitude. I have to like I know his PayPal That's fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah, it's because I it stuck with me because it's not just you know a communications degree It's like real one. It's super important degrees that you have to have the knowledge in jimmyry It's not doing because why did you build a bridge that collapsed?

And he's like, honestly, and I'm just gonna tell you this right now. I thought that bridge was not gonna collapse because He's I got a fucking brain surgery in the morning asshole That's why I can't suck off your friend to yeah, dude. That's fucking why how much money do they pay them? I don't have to move that where they're from could be a few hundred dollars a week Just enough to get him kidnapped by whatever dangerous man lives around him. I know this doing your family all have shoes Where did you get also if you your son now has a knowledge of interior design structures. Where does he learn that? I was just talking about building infrastructure in this local village. That is your son known so much about high concept economics. Also why does he say go UMass Minuteman all the time?

This is kind of like that sucks dude. It's also, it's also, it's so hot. It was cool. Yeah, how stupid America is now. Well, it made me afraid to go to a doctor. Like, I don't know which one of these netwits didn't actually do any of the work. Yeah, it was, um, I don't know, he just taps on your stomach, he goes, Zahr, cheating American college students

are paying canyons to complete school work. That is so good. Some contractors asked to dumb down there where it's so funny. Oh my God. This doesn't sound like me. Because first of all, you gotta stop calling the sun, the fire, and the sky.

It's not what I would say and she knows that. Also, it's eloquently written. The way you described a morning, yeah man, that's fucking, that's pretty funny. It's pretty hilarious. I mean, until you're with a doctor, who does that what they're doing, we're a dentist sweating his ass off

because he's getting ready to yank your tooth and he's like, I think it's left to right. I'm fucked. Do nurse, which one would you say number 15 is? Yeah. Oh, that's the one I thought 15 was, too. We still just as a college immigrant goes by Cus bid. I guess it fucks.

Right, your Cus bid and just. Bottom teeth and bottom teeth. Top teeth and bottom teeth, huh? Right. What are you doing later? Do you want to take some wax in this gas? Get an 18-inch. Yeah, you want to huff some nights.

I could turn on this thing and let this room fill up and we can just get wacky. You wanna huff a little hock side and kick back in the funny chair? I don't know, some fucking guy in a suit and ease civil war that just got killed in all my work. So those secrets die with him. He goes, yeah, I think it's a hotel Rwanda shit. You wanna send me off for this guy wakes up? Before Mr. Kennedy comes back to My god Tom here pops up. He's got about another 15 if you want to polish me or we can just watch YouTube videos a fat people falling down

I'm cool with whatever. I'm not yeah, I'm not making you do anything check that small fridge just bud lights One Kenyan man identified by CBS as William all Dr William, although that is not his real name, earns more than $2,000 a month competing, completing schoolwork for American students. That's got to be huge there. Yeah, he told CBS one of his clients for whom he is working on a master's degree, also promised him he'd pay to complete the work for his doctorate as well. The writers are given students college login information.. confirmed that the count information belong to the students enrolled at universities William explained that when a student received a 97% on an essay he wrote he was asked to lower it down to match the students actual performance level. Wow. That's insane

Australian students are doing it too in 2017 it makes 2000 so that is so great am I I'm not gonna law these wives a huge and I'm having a great time I'm gonna need you to do some low econ for me That's and there's just no way yeah, so they're not like plagiarizing They're just giving someone else's work. Yeah, the original work damn They're just doing the work and they're like, why can't you go play with your children? Like don't you understand Melissa needs a 78% She is a stupid bitch, but one that pays well. I do think though the tell would be because if they're paying for this That much money. Yeah, like I'm paying that because I'm not even looking at this thing I'm throwing it in an old You're living like a city not even looking at this thing. I'm throwing it in an old

You're living like a city report. I'm putting in a book report cover. Yeah, I'm throwing this thing in you are living a sick A sitcom life where your whole life is everything besides actual stuff besides that and the problem is I do wonder if there is Grammatically, you know, I mean mm-hmm. Like I don't have fire in the sky, but some yeah, I mean they read that We're like, why did you call President Biden and our Supreme Leader? And you guys, did I write that? It's like the video definitely, no. Did you know what you called them? No, but the student, the professor asks,

he goes, why did you call him Premier Biden? And he goes, what do you call him? This being my first yet at university. And yeah, but the white kid just being like, I don't know, I think President's lame. Yeah, so what? Yeah, like, I don't know, I think president's lame. Yeah. So what? Yeah.

Premiere. I call vacations holidays. You don't get over it. Whatever. I also am sad about the extermination of the two two. Also, how did you write half of it? Yeah, dude. It's really, I did.

Fuck that. You guys, I thought I would impress you. Then I know a little swah heel. Because that's all it is, is these kids are just going to college and their parents are paying, giving them a lot of money. Through the rich kids in Arizona,

when I saw that shit, I was like, you guys live a different life. You guys are just getting range rovers and shit and just doing coke and there's. Yeah, I mean, these are the super rich that have, they're just, just all schoolings being paid for. Ah, a little college wood fucking,

I gotta say, like a four year college, wood fucking rule, if itings being paid for college would fucking I guys had like a four-year college Would fucking rule if it was all paid for I can pick going classes I want to and drove a fucking sick ass car is let me tell you have my own bedroom Don't even know in place in college. I wouldn't have on bedroom Let me tell you quite the opposite experience for your old pal Danny Sodes I didn't go to college for these reasons a A lot of Jean shorts and free T-shirts, shitty car, just really trying to struggle through. Knowing I was gonna owe several companies

a lot of money for a degree that I was never gonna use. Honestly, kind of a rip off. What's your degree? Journalism. No, I'm saying hilarious. You are a minor reporter. A reporter dance. Yeah. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, this'm sick. Hilarious. You are a minor reporter. A reporter dance. Yeah.

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dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, Yeah, I don't know what you want. Everyone knows you're gonna make the AM edition? I hope so. We don't do two pressings anymore. Digital's killing us. Digital's fucking us right, O. Digital's right up our ass. We don't get paid for it.

We don't get paid word per penny. I don't know. You hear those lines now, I go, are we gonna get them in the morning edition? What? You'll get it whenever, it'll be up the second I hit this button. You'll get it whenever I learn about what happened

in YouTube would have fucking crushed me And I think internet porn would have blown my mind out. You think you'd just be dick like to Calist now yeah, you have a reality show coming in about you I think I'd be doing I think I'd be in this some fucking weird shit. Yeah, I Agree I think I'm into some weird shit But I mean I'd be in this I'm like spooky think I'm into some weird shit, but I mean, I'd be into some like spooky shit. I'm not in any dark shit at all.

You know what I mean? I'm in like fun weird shit. And we're talking about our millennial older millennial asses are talking about the older internet, but when you get into the dark web, if you're a high school kid and you could get into the dark web, but you don't have to go on dark web to find a girl getting fucked by like horses and all kinds of crazy.

Well, that was actually kind of where we started on like ebombs world and like it was, it was like a guy having a fish on his dick. For sure, but that was also like in the beginning, it was like, oh wow, have you seen the girl getting banged by the horse video? Now versus like, you couldn't possibly say that day. The Budweiser horses run a train on them.

And it's all over brass. You see that girl take on the Clydesdale's? Yeah, that's what they do in the off season. We interviewed that Adam 20 or not interviewed. We had him on Legion of Skanks. Broke down. Adam 22. Kind of one on one, a Ted of Ted.

Him and his girlfriend, Lena the plug, her fiance, Lena the plug. You know she is? She was like, she was heard of. Yeah, she was one of the first people that was like, when she did porn, it was like, YouTube or does porn. I didn't know what she did on YouTube. He doesn't even quite know.

I have toxins. He didn't even know. I was like, what is it? I go, what is she doing on YouTube first? She's like, just, dumb girl shit probably. Like, he doesn't even know. But now, because they have like names, they do a podcast called

Plug Talk. And he was pushing that on Legion of Skanks, but I was like, oh, it's a podcast, but what it actually is is they go, they interview crazy hot porn stars, pro porn stars, and then just threesome bang them together on a couch and then that's the episode I mean it's like it's like kind of one of the first sex podcasts where they have sex with the guest It's crazy. I mean, but it's like the top girls in porn this guy damn Dude, I bet you could have been Adam 22 couldn't have been more casually like I bet you could a bar You could a Barbara Walters interviewed him with the Pat like the passion that you'd have behind that if I had known This was what was going on. I would have interviewed him more

Maybe we'll have him on the bonfire. We'll talk to him about this hole He's what he's fine to talk about it. I don't realize it's what I didn't realize when I was talking to him this guy had fucked Whatever you think the hottest porn stars are right now. He's fucked them Yeah, I mean that's pretty. And also plug Sherry's berries. And that's pretty important. And also Sherry's berries. So don't forget stamps.com. And also if you don't mind.

Guys, as you're watching me get double sucked, don't forget, check out BetterHelp. BetterHelp Online Therapy when you're not getting sucked in fucked by two ladies for your job. But at what point j doesn't become a job well beside the fucking on camera so envious of this because they got to set it up and they're like so you like uh...

it's also i can't imagine the conversations no offense are that riveting oh i bet they're hilariously unriving where they're just like sad if you ever been to Coldstone right before they closed? They gave you all they have left. Because I do, now you want to suck my boyfriend with me?

Oh, she pregnant here? Oh, wow, it's got dark. Well, hey, I mean, it's by him probably. It's not too bad to answer, it's too long. It's by the way, again, but I do like about this, Dan, is what it does show you is in a three, you're kissing my butt, you. Damn.

Fuck. Fuck. You know what porn girls do at the wrong time? And you're like, you played your hand, you asshole. He's like, oh, you just politely kissed my butt, you. Fuck, I'm an embike splot. But Dan, if you just politely kissed my butt cheek. Fuck I'm an embikesball. But Dan if you watch this, what's funny is you really do get a look into like the idea of what I said like when the girls, the girls kind of got to start and the guy just, there's

really nothing over you can do. Oh except that. Wait is this just rubber butt for a second? This is you, this is you going to fill the ice trays Yes, we're not even that but even when you even you're done filling the ice trays You have to kind of lay next to the action memorize it like burnt rentals and just kind of be like yeah, exactly this They have to do like a sommelier of eating asshole where she goes eat that. Asked it's pretty good. But hall lick It's like they're sharing cake at a dinner.

Like have a bite of that. It's pretty good. Yeah. I don't understand. So this is the podcast. It's the talk show that kind of ends up in the porn. It's the whole maintenance talk show. It's a, yeah, it's the only thing.

I mean, genius, because the territory hasn't been filled. No. But if you're not super horny or you've jerked off, this has got to be fucking pointless. What do you mean? What do you mean? Just like, when you're not horny and you watch this, if you're not in the mood.

Oh, I think the pod, I think you're going to watch it. That's what I mean. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, exactly. You said they're not going there. It goes, did you hear before they fucked Adrianna Chetchitch that they actually talked about? It's a pretty compelling arguments for flat earth.

Honestly, they had some good things for gun restrictions in a way that isn't offensive to your second amendment rights. But he just does, he just fucks like a machine which is just hilarious. She is pregnant, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, I can't see. That's crazy, you're like, okay, so pause that. I'm in her belly. That's my mom You're like, okay, so pause that. I'm in her belly.

That's my mom and my dad. Oh What paid me what gave me the money to pay that Kenyan so I could get my doctor at University of Washington. Look your mom's podcast right? Yeah, Lena the MD wasn't always lean of the MD Yeah, I used to be lean of the plug But her her pregnant wallet. I mean this is just like you know Yeah, but her pregnant wallet. I mean, this is just like, you know, yeah, well listen, it's, it is definitely better than pregnant girls who just get fucked by a bunch of other guys.

I think, you know, probably his kid, you're always good at finding this overlining. Yeah, well, it's weird still. It's fair. This is for sure weird and it's uncomfortable. But it's like there's no, I'm trying to get woman just, I don't know, ever since I went to that strip club in Alaska

and that lady and we were just like sitting there and that lady's like, oh yeah, she works here and this pregnant lady walks up to the stage pregnant, pulls her tin out and the stripper looked at it. I was like, ew. It's gotta be rough. It's gotta be rough when you find out not only your mom was a porn star but that you were in one of the scenes Probably know I'm saying it's a podcast episode. Yeah. Well, I was a podcast guest when I was a zygote. Yeah, it's a while. I'm blowing daddy. So it's okay

Double blow job pause it always looks like they're like Glat, glat, glat. Yeah, really? Glat, glat. They, uh, listen, it's gonna be a rough road for the kid with that kind of ship coming out no matter what, however, if you're that kid, you gotta have in the pocket. He goes, well, at least my mom was getting fucked

by a bunch of other dudes. Sure, I was pregnant. Yes, yeah. It goes, it was, my mom and my dad, and some hot chick, my dad's crushin'. Have you guys been to our house? That ink ground trampoline? That podcast paid for it.

What? What is it? What is that even? I mean, it's in the name. Let's take our first break, and we'll come back, we'll talk new Jurassic Park. Please. Cause, got a shit show.

Got a shit show. Pick your shit show in a pregnant way. Anyway, I guess my point is you can catch Christine on next week's plug talk featuring Adam 22 Oh my god, I'm so excited. I think she told me it's just a talking one I'm fine. I'm fine. She told me she's a talking she goes just going to talk some stuff out just some like production It's more of a production so she said so boring. I shouldn't even listen to it But I've heard opposite I've heard first 15 minutes of every episode rift city

Rift rift City, dude. Boom, boom. You know what the show is, hilarious? Plutton. It's like, come town where they fuck at the end. But there's actual comment. It's fucking insane. It's like, man, shame. But if they like, fuck the porn, start together.

Ha, ha, ha. It's the bomb, man. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on SiriusXM! you