The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Free Bike w/Rich Vos & Eleanor Kerrigan

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

The Legend Rich Vos fills in for Big Jay and admits to having trouble with his daughter. Rich claims she is getting her head filled with crazy ideas in college. Bobby compares raising a son to daughters with the fact that he can let his boy run wild and deal with the fallout later. | Hilarious comedian Eleanor Kerrigan joins the boys club and gets accidentally roasted upon entering. | Bob wants to buy a motorized bike off of Rich who received it as a gift. Bonnie McFarlane calls in to settle the argument. Eleanor Kerrigan will be at Uncle Vinnie's in NJ this weekend! Rich Vos will be at Grand Comedy Club Escondido, CA all weekend! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Fitting for today's bonfire because we have a legend in studio who comes up to this song when he goes on stage even if there's 10

people in the audience. Even if it's 10 people. Can you imagine that if there's like six people and you're like what's his name as a comic? Who's the guy that has the dog? I hate doing radio with my old friends because they go

what's his name, who? We never remember anything. What's his name? He does a comedy jam. Oh, oh, you mean. No, not him. Oh, sorry. You mean, you got a blue shirt. You do the joke. What's his name? Why am I? Josh? Josh. Josh?

That's who I said. You know, you were doing the other guy first. I was doing, I was doing Josh. No, you were doing. Hey, come on now. You would do. Duba-dubba-dubba-dubba-dab. That's the other one. Who's the other one? With the tattoos.

What? Who's the... Why can't you remember any of your thoughts? I can't remember names. We started the show where a half a minute in, you're going, what's that guy's name? Who's the other guy? Yeah. Who's the other guy?

No, that's the other guy. No, they both open for Billy. I don't... Oh, Dean Del Rey. Yeah, yeah. I speak rich. You speak rich. Who's my interpreting.

Yeah. Yeah, she's... And what? Interpreter. Interpreter. Yeah, you got it. You got it. I want to diet Coke.

I want you to stop. touching the microphone. You want to die a coach? You just stop touching kids. First of, I'm not going to happen. Not in this lifetime. Speaking of touching kids, the who? What's up?

Yeah. I love his excuse, too. He's doing research. Is that what Peter Thompson said? Yeah, they found kitty porn. I believe, this is allegedly, they found kitty porn on his, what? They didn't. They didn't?

This is the problem with, this is the problem. He used it with the world. No, this is the problem with the world we live in today. You can't have a damn rumor anymore. No. Because some asshole went out and found the truth, Jacob. Who? I was a big Who fan.

Yeah. I could tell you. I mean, I don't agree. Did Richard Gere not put a gerbil in his ass too? You're going to ruin that one? I don't know either way. The fat chick with a frozen hot dog. That's not real.

That never happened. Two cups and a girl? That happened. Two girls in a cup. But it wasn't poo. Apparently it was... Carvel? No.

It was pudding. It was a... I was pudding. It was, what was it? Deary queen? Custard? No. Well, how many brown things are that are soft?

What the fuck? Lou's got one in his pants right now. No. No. It's, uh... Oh, nutzella? We're just two... Nutsella.

What's Nutsella? Whatever that shit is. Oh my God, you're a... What the fuck is... Nadella? Nadella. Nadella? What is it called?

Nutsela. That's what it's called. That's what I called it. It's called Nutsela. No, it's, I swear to God. It's from Europe. It's called Nutsela. Well, what the fuck was in the cup if you were, you're sitting here saying, that's not it? That's not it.

Then what is it? I just wanted to get to you going Nutsela. What's in it? What's in the cup? It's called Nutella. Okay. Was it Nutella in the cup? No, it was too brown.

No. No. It was too brown. What's the foamy chocolate thing that's not chocolate? What's it called? Come on, Jacob. That's foamy? It's like a light.

It's a light. chocolate dish. A moose. Moose. Moose. Right. If this is four years ago, you would have got there quicker by looking at me. What's the... Oh. What is the moose rumor? Stop touching your mic.

I'm trying to get in. Listen, listen, Voss. Okay, all right. Relax. Listen, I just want to say something. I've been doing... Let me just say something. I've been doing radio with you for 30 years. Almost 30 years. And you don't wear headphones. And the only reason... Hang on.

I just have my hearing agent. What? I have my hearing agent. Yeah. You have hearing aids in now? Yes. Are you shitting me? No, why would I shoot you?

Can I see them? Well, hold on. I don't have hacks programmed, so let me get you in. What's there to see? You can't even see them. I didn't even notice them. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

Why? What happened? If you had headphones on, you'd hear it. There was a back? There was a feed. Yeah, feedback. Oh, thanks. In a bottle, too, perfect.

You like that? I don't drink out of cans. When did you get hearing aids, man? Like a month ago. Are those real hearing aids? Do you buy them off Facebook marketplace? No, I got them. They're $2,000.

You paid $2,000 for hearing aids. Yeah, but they're supposed to help prevent Alzheimer's. What is it? Help prevent Alzheimer's. Is that how you say it? I don't know. Or dementia. Help to prevent dementia.

Go that word better. That's about word. Um, you, you were deaf completely? Huh? No, I wasn't deaf at all. I had a little bit of hearing loss. So why did you get them? Because it, before it, before it, uh, escalates and gets worse.

Yeah. Now I nip it in the butt. And when I say nip, I don't mean Asian. I nip it in the butt. Comedy. You're so old school. Oh shit, I got, what's his name in trouble? Listen, but if you had a little hearing loss, you don't need them.

There's some hearing. Well, they say, get them. I had a hearing. Have you ever had a hearing test? I have. What'd they say? I have perfect hearing. Good.

Yeah. What about eyes? Perfect. Well, no, I have glasses now. But I just, they're reading glasses. You know what I got to do next? Have you done the, what do you call it test? Oh, my God.

You're going to announce our guest? Yeah, I'm going to announce our guest. Hold on. I don't, I want to say. see if he remembers his name first. Ladies and gentlemen, oh God. Ladies and gentlemen, the legend, Rich Voss is in studio.

Good to be here, thank you for. One of my oldest friends. Shirtless, sleeveless, as always. Not as always. Now that it's getting, it was like 90 degrees. Yeah. I have a hoodie in the car if it gets colder or later, but... Oh, thanks for that info. Thanks for that info.

I have to do a calcium test. Have you done calcium yet? For the heart? No. Yes. He had nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I bailed. I did that. Here's a problem. Anytime one of you fucking old coutes that I know has a problem, I immediately go get what that is.

Yeah. Because I don't want to be in the same boat. When Colin had a heart attack, I went and got out of my heart check. You did a stress test? I did a stress test. On the treadmill? You did a treadmill one? How did you do your stress test? I did the stress test.

On the treadmill. Yes, on the treadmill. Why do you question? Let me ask you question. Just a couple different ways to do you do. do with that. I'm just asking. There's only one way to do it. No. There's only one stress test. No. Yeah, there is. Coming into studio

here. That's one. That is one. My heart is fine. I've been here for three years then. Yeah, he did it on the treadmill. Like, five minutes in on the treadmill, he's like, you're fine. He said, get off. Yeah, me too, when I did the truck.

But that was a while ago. My doctor, when she did my EKG, she goes, nothing worried about, but I want you to get a Well, it's a calcium test. She goes, do you get out of breath? I go, I'm out of breath sitting here. You know, do you get out of breath a lot?

No, never. I do. Not anymore. When I was fat as hell, I used to get... I used to get out of breath putting my pants on. Tying my shoes. Yeah. I used to get out of breath.

I used to always tie my shoes to the left and to the right because I couldn't go straight down because of my stomach. So if you... How much weight did you lose weight? Fuck you, Jacob. You were there. You saw me. You were there.

You never said a thing. I was not on that level to say, who was I to you back then? Nobody. Samuze who you are now? Nothing. You're a fucking smug face I have to look at three times a week. Your best friends didn't say a word of you either. Not one of my friends.

About what? Being overweight? They did talk about me behind my back. Yeah, there was a betting pool. Was there a betting pool? No, I never talked about. You lost weight. I mean, you still look like a pin cushion, but you look a lot better.

And you're healthier, and you work out. What do you mean I look like a pin cushion? Not a big one. I think I, let me take my jacket off. You look good. You stopped working out? I stopped. You still lift?

Dude. You got big arms. Dude, what are you talking about? You have no chest, but you have big arms. He has a chest. What are you talking about? I don't see it. Buddy, you are disgusting.

Why would you be mean? I'm sorry. I'm trying to be nice. You know that's my thing. I only have first gear and sixth gear. I go right for the jugular. Jeez, I'm being nice. I hope you have so much plaque in your arteries.

It's not plaque, it's calcium. Oh, whatever. I hope, out of all my friends, the one that's actually still kicking around is you. When you get home, I hope you find your wife not with plaque, but it rhymes with that. Me too. Me too. I'd love to go in and find her with a nice black guy. I've never conceived of the idea of being out of breath to bend down and tie your shoes is astounding.

I get out of breath very easy. Yeah, that's not good. My whole life. That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. That's because you're Jewish. That's not going to do with it. There's nothing to do with it. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, the silence was not good. definitely no i mean you know

my daughter i lost my daughter she's 19 she's just so fucking far gone what do you talk about she's just so left she's listening to college professors tic talk she has no sense of reality she doesn't really know what's going on she sent me a video of some kid that was blood shut the fuck up there

can i tell you something it's not the colleges it's not it's part of the college it's not the college i'm going to say something can i say it yes go ahead it's not the colleges it's not TikTok. It's who she is. Max is on TikTok. Max goes to a liberal type of school. What do you talk? He's, we watched the show with him and then Dan. I'm like,

didn't that make you cry? He's like, no. I go, did you see anything? Guys are different than girls. Yeah, she's a girl. Girls always, they go that way. They think with emotions, not intellect. And what's going to happen is she's going to hit her 20. She's going to be on her own. She's going to get a boyfriend. She's going to have kids.

She has a boyfriend. She's going to get a real boyfriend. And then she's going to have kids. And then She's going to go back to center. She's going to stay on life works a little bit. I told you the father-daughter talk I had with her. What was it? Okay, before her prom, right? I sat her.

You know, I'm close with my kids, just like you are. Yeah. And I go, look, there's things in this world that are very sacred. You know, God, your parents, your virginity. And I go, I know you're going away with this guy on the prom and for a weekend. And he's going to expect something from you. so I told her that you can give him a little titty. I said like that, just a little titty.

Go, little titty. You mean grab her, you're actually making nipple like she can. I say you can give him no hands just like that. So he can't grab the titty. But he can just pinch the nipple. And tell him, and tell him your father said it's okay. That's disgusting. And that's, that's great.

I remember when I was hot Bobby. And I used to. When you know what? When I was hot Bobby back at my. 20s. I used to make out with girls and then I'd lean in their ear and I'd go like, God, man, you kiss just like my sister.

Oh. I said that about my dad. Just to break the monotony. I would make out with them. I go, okay, now try to get away. You know what Burke Crises he used to do all the time? He used to walk up at the cellar, at the bar, and go over to a girl's drink and just

sprinkle, like pretend to sprinkle something in it. He goes, I'll see you in an hour. Before all this woke shit. This comic had a great line. I don't even know who it was. His pickup line was, come with me, I have a weapon. I don't know what comic said that.

It kind of sucks for kids now. I think, you know, I think it sucks more for girls because girls, guys are so gun-shy with chicks now that you can't even be a, you know, a dirty whore. You can't even, like, as a guy you mean? No, as a girl.

Like, girls like, I think, correct me if I'm wrong, Christine. Girls like to be slutty and hoary and do crazy stuff. I mean, this girl. But I just pulled up this article, nearly half of Gen Z adults have never had sex. They don't know how to fuck each other.

Yeah. It's actually really gross and sad. Teen pregnancies down. What age is Gen Z? What age is it? It's Jay's daughters, Jen Z. Raina. Hang on, let me see.

Jen Z. I hate this whole gen stuff. What are we? I'm old. You're actually a pilgrim. Gen Z are people born between 1997 and 2012. What is 1970? What is that?

I think you're Gen X. I'm Gen X. Wait, is that when you were born? That's the coolest generation of all time. Wait, you go by when you were born? Yes. It's a range. So baby boomers, 46 to 64.

I was born 57. So you're a baby boom. You're a baby boomer. That's what I'm saying. Is that good or that? No, it's stupid. Why? Well, everybody thinks your generation

to ruin the world. Yeah. No, stop. Voss. Everybody like her thinks that. Oh, no, Gen X, too. Everybody. Thinks baby boomers?

Why do they think they ruin the world? I don't understand it. I don't know exactly, but that's what they think. Oh, yeah. You're almost part of the greatest generation. We don't fuck around. I'm Gen X, right? 65 to 80.

And Jen X. is the best. Gen X is considered the coolest. All this stuff is so stupid. It's dumb, but I'm the coolest, so I like it. Why does one generation get way more years? The newest generation is what? It's like, oh, no, okay, I made a mistake. It's the same amount of years.

All right, never mind. Baby boomers, defined by post-war opt-office. What? We heard a gurgle. Was that me? It was probably you, but you can't hear it. I don't know, probably swallowing or swallowing. Did he a little snitch on me?

Hey, Sam, calm down. It's not Sam. That's DJ Lou. How dare you? I heard gurgling coming through my headphones, and I thought maybe it was Bobby, but then we both pointed at you. Oh, yeah, it was you gurgling. Maybe I'm... I just don't, I, because I'm...

What the fuck? What's wrong with you? I'm sipping my drink. Stop when you have fucking belly noises. Ugh. You're such a... Will you stop? Sorry, I'm guessing.

You're disgusting. Sorry. Because I'm Gen X and I'm the coolest. I like it now, but I agree with you. It is kind of dumb. When did this start? This happened like 10 years ago, right? No, there's always been generations.

It just kind of came, when the internet happened, we would make fun of, I thought millennials was like a new word for hipster at first. I didn't realize that like I was a millennial. It was just a generation name. But baby boomers, the silent generation, the grace generation, these have existed forever. This generation stinks because, parents helicopter parents

they don't let them do anything they don't let them get hurt they don't let them go out they go everywhere with them they what year is that you're talking about not now now? Alpha 2013 to 2020s the parents is the child murderers ruined it for everyone

nobody's gonna leave their kids all the child rapists did hurt things yeah but listen yeah I mean what the didillers but you're not gonna let Max wander too far no but I'm gonna if you know go I let him go out all the time. He's like, I'm leaving. With a tracker on his phone. Yeah, but he's a big guy.

I have a track on his phone. Listen, I'm going to know where he is. When he gets diddled, he can call me. I'll be like, I just got diddled at the park. I'll be like, I'll pick you up, and I'll talk to you about my dittle, and then we'll share dittle stories. And then you'll listen to bow dittle. Nice one.

I think most parents would like to loosen the reins, but are too apparently. No, now you're wrong, because my daughter, at a certain age, you've got to trust your kids to do the right things. You don't want to let an eight or nine year old take off and go to the park by themselves like we used to do as kids. But when they become 18, 19. No, no, no, no. I let Mike's a mindset. You should be able to let your kid go to the park at eight. Not by themselves. I let, I let, I let Max at 10, 11, 12. He goes out. He goes to the gym at night by himself. He goes to the park by himself. Yeah, but he's a big guy. How old is he? He's 12.

Oh. I just said that. Did you? Yeah, I did. If you had headphones, you would have heard it. Is he still 12? Are you hearing aids on? Yep.

When my brother was 8, he was given. Hang on one second. No, he just turned 13. Yes. I said he's 12. Okay, good. But he's 12. How big is he?

You think he's his birthday between your sentences? How big is he? He's 5. He's almost 5.9. Yeah, nobody's messing with him. Yeah, but it's not, that's not the point. It's like... Well, I have friends that my best friend has a six-year-old and a three-year-old,

and her and her community, they have, like, landlines now, so the kids don't have cell phones, but they can call each other to, like, play. And they have, like, boundaries in the neighborhood, and they let the kids kind of play in the lawn and have some autonomy. But the parents are still kind of, like, watching, and it's a community of people. But they're trying to loosen the reins a little bit.

You got to let your kid go... You got to let your kid go fuck up and do stupid shit. I have a thing with Max. I have a code word. And we have a code work. I go, you're ever in trouble with the cops, anything, anywhere where you're at and you don't want to be, you call my phone, you say this one word, no questions asked, not in trouble, I come and pick you up. I'll come and pick you up, whatever it is.

You don't have to deal with it. I'm just coming to get you. One code word. So he goes to places and hangs out with kids all the time. You got to let you kids. But these parents don't let them do it. And they don't let them hang. I showed up at the park one day.

Max was two smoking hot girls. I'm like, what are you doing up here? He's like, you know, just hanging. Then he winked at me. I was like, all right, this is weird. And then we went back to the house. Don wasn't home. We have a code word.

What is it? Ouch. That's your daughter's code word? Ouch. And if you hear it over and over again, you drive faster, you're a piece of shit. You know that? You're garbage. You should have had a boy.

I have three girls. I know. You have the greatest. You have sissy jizz. Let me tell you, I raised three. three girls that are all fantastic. All your sperm, the only ones that are healthier girls. All your boys die and your nuts.

Or on somebody's back. That too. I have a, God, you get so lucky in life. Oh, Jesus. I mean, I guess if you do the right things too, like my daughters have never seen me high or drunk or anything. So, you know, we set an example. and you get lucky the fact that you have a great son

all my daughters are fantastic my kid is going to drink he's going to smoke pot he's going to get arrested 100% I know that already I know I know I can tell Max he's like me he's gonna he likes doing he likes you know ring and run he loves he came in the other night at like 11 and he's running out of breath he's like I'm like what's wrong he goes

we were ringing and running and then they called the cops and the cops are driving around we had to hide in bushes and shit that's part of being a boy though who doesn't call it ding dong ditch uh my son ringing and running they rebranded ding dong ditch yeah ring and run ring and run ring and run ding don't ditch that's so weird that's so califoyt ding dong ditch what does that mean that's what it is that's a game tell me what ding dong ditch means you ring the bell it goes ding dong and then you leave nobody has everybody has a ring now it makes a different sound doesn't go ding dong it goes blah blah blue You're all on camera too

I know You're not getting away with shit You're not getting away with shit Ten cameras videotaped your son Capt you just sitting ringing the bell and ringing The bell and ringing Running I don't mind that he does that shit

I mean it's fine It's part of being a boy Do stupid shit Get caught Learn your lesson He's not going to learn from me He's not going to learn from me Going you shouldn't do that

Because that's bad And other people He's going to be like Yeah okay He's going to do it anyways At least that rather have him tell me that he did it and trust me that he did it

than to hide it from me fuck it go do your shit he's gonna go through it he's gonna you know he's smoking weed everybody smokes weed for God's At that age? Are they doing it that young now? No not now I didn't even smoke weed that young Not now when it's 16, 17 you know he's gonna

How can a penis be that big? I don't know Jacob By son does have a big penis Hopefully he's not a 30 old virgin like the rest of these kiddos I don't want that Hopefully he makes his generation and figure something out. They guys are like locking phones at school dances or something and let people have fun again.

It's got to be a nightmare. Here's what you've got to do. You got to let the girls be slutty again. Let them be a little hoey again. Get them back into the Catholic Church. Get them back to church. Those dresses. Yeah, girls are up, you know.

Seems like the girls are pretty slutty and the boys are scared to talk to them. Well, because of all the shit that happened. You know what I mean? All the dad's got sick. scared. You know, we want to, we got to raise a, you know, raise a kid who, you know, respect women and don't fuck girls that are passed out. Yeah, no means no. You're not, don't fuck unconscious women. I know it changed the college experience for the young boys, but. Change it for the girls too. They had the story too. Remember that time I banged the football team?

Go ahead, Jacob. Oh, no. I mean, it's your. Bring it up. Well, you want me to start this? I don't know, yeah, because I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, yes. That's quiet. Oh, the bike? Yeah. Well, you asked me three times to buy the bike. Here's the problem with the bike.

There's no problem. It's a great. A little background. Here's a little, no, we're going to give a little context. Jacob loves context. All right. Okay. And the listener needs it.

Around three years ago. Am I right? Two. Two and a half. No, is that my party? Was that two years ago? No, it was three years ago. Two years ago, two summers ago.

Two summers ago. Yes. Are you sure? Yes, because we haven't lived there three years yet. Okay, two summers ago, I went to your house. Yes. And there was a brand new, in the box, electric bike inside of your garage. Was it still in the box?

Yes. It was still in the box. Oh, yeah, because I just had to put together. And I said, I would like to buy that because I'm looking, I need it. I want an electric bike. Max wants an electric bike. Yes. For his birthday, I would love to, let me buy it off you right now.

Yes. You're like, now I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. And I'm like, first of all, don't use that voice. Don't use that voice. Just go to, let's have a conversation. I didn't go, I mean, you use it. You called me a fat pincushion.

No, I, I didn't say fat. I said pincushion, which is in my brain fat. No. I've seen some nice little pink cushion. I won't use. I won't use the exact voice you use. Okay. I won't hear that.

Go ahead. You tell a story and I'll tell a story. And I was like, let me buy And you're like, no, I'm going to use it. How's that? Is that better? I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it.

I said, no, I'm probably going to use it. It was a little whiny. It was a little whiny. Okay. And I don't mean it the way you think I mean it. You do. I do. I do not.

You do. I do not. Hold a flag. Well, you'd say. I'll just say regular so you don't get a. I'm going to use it. Is that better? I didn't.

All right. Go ahead. Keep going. I'm going to use it. Is that better? No, I'm going to use it. Okay, I'm going to use it. What are you fucking doing, singing a song?

I'm going to use it. That's not the way you said it, though. It had tone. You're saying it like you're a nice person. You weren't. I'm adding tone to it. Okay, go ahead. I'm going to use it.

I'm using it. How's this? I'm going to use it. I'm going to use it. I'm like, Vos, you're never going to use it. You're never going to use it. I know you. You're not getting on the.

bike ever let me buy it off no i'm gonna use it if i don't use are you farting right now oh i'm stretching my back go okay so i was so i was like you're never you're never gonna use it and you're like i'm i will use it and you got kind of mad like i will use it i mean get mad you're exaggerating bonnie it's my story okay then i'll tell my story okay great and then i called you back up i'm like dude let me buy that bike and you're like no i when as you also hold on let me finish go ahead it was a gift from a So I didn't want to sell it right then. You think that company, what do you think they're fucking waiting for you to make an Instagram post about it? Well, it would help.

You didn't for two years. You didn't take it out of the box. You're right. And then you said to me, no, as soon a rain is, can you stop burping? I'm going to throw up. Can you stop burping into the microphone, your Diet Coke old man burst? I'm going to throw up. Okay.

It's grossing me out. Don't throw up. It's disgusting. You said, as soon as Raina goes to school, I'm going to start riding around the neighborhood and stuff like that. And that's when I got to put it together when she was off of college. She's been off of college for a year. Yeah, and I had it put together this year. You had it put together a fucking week ago.

No, no, no, no. I had it put together a couple of years. What did you say? No, no, no. I had it put together a couple months ago. One more time. One more time. No, no, no.

I had it put together like maybe three months ago, but I took it out when it got warmer. You did not have it. Three months ago, it was fucking snowing. Yeah, the guy that came over that does work in my house put it together. During the winter time. Yes, because he came over to do stuff on the heater. I have no evidence to contradict that. It doesn't matter, but he did. It was a couple months ago.

Okay, a couple months ago or three months ago? Like three months ago. Was it two or three? Like three. Okay, so that's a few months ago. A couple is two. What the fuck? We're not in court.

Just keep going with the dumb fuck. We are in court. And you'd hear all these amazing sound effects Luz doing if you put your fucking headphones once in your life. The show would be much more enjoyable to you I mean he's killing it He's a killer So

So I'm gonna tell Jacob Because I'm not gonna tell him Because he said As soon as she goes to school I'm gonna use it And I call them again I go dude Come on sell me that fucking bike You're not using it

It's been a year It's still in the box It wasn't It was when I called you the third time Second time You never did three times Second time I called you three times No you didn't

Yes I did Two times Your Honor I did Okay go Go ahead. It's not your turn right now. I'm talking to the judge. It's not your turn.

I don't care. Well, you have to. So you offered to buy it. I offered to buy it three times and he said, no, no, no, no. Then the... How many knows? No, no, no, no. So then it becomes illegal in Jersey.

No, see, you're wrong again, but go ahead. It's illegal in Jersey to have a electric bike that goes over 30 miles an hour. It's illegal. The law changed, right? Not yet. Yeah, it did. No, in August. Okay, well, whatever.

You can't, so then... Don't get gay. I can't help it. Then he calls me, he's like, you want the bike? It's two years later. I already bought the fucking buy. I already got the, I got Max's present. No, you didn't because you asked me again the other day.

You asked me like four months ago, hey, sell me that bike. So don't say you didn't. No, that's not true. It is true. Prove it. I don't have to. anything you're saying. I can. You can? I record all our conversations.

And I recorded the one where you said sell it to me. Did you really? No. Oh. So then he calls me up to sell me the bike. He's not using it. I used it once. He's not using it. Using it once is not using it. Using it all the time is using it. You drove. What am I going to do all the time?

I drove to the park. This is exactly what I knew you're going to do. You're going to use it one time and be like, this stinks. I know, it's fun. It's not fun. You're 70, and you're not going to drive around to the park by yourself. Yes, I bought a helmet. You did not. I got a nice helmet.

Why don't you want to use it? What's that? Why don't you use it then? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I did use it. I go, when it gets a little warmer, which it is now, I go, I'll take it to the park, or when Bonnie takes your dog out for a walk, I'll ride alongside or a meter at the park.

But then, like you said, I heard in Jersey, come August or July, you're going to have to register and insure them. Now, my insurance is $1,500 a month. Who told you that? Who told you that it's illegal?

It's not illegal yet. But who told you it's illegal? Like, it's going to be illegal? I was at a meeting, and a guy had one of the bikes, and he told me. Oh, God. You didn't tell me. I told you. Oh, my God. You didn't tell me. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told

I knew it. The guy in the meeting told me he had one. I told you. But that's irrelevant. Even if you told me or I told you, that makes no sense. Here's the thing. All I do is say to Bobby, if you still want the bike, I'll sell it. If you don't, no big deal, I'll keep it.

Whatever I'm selling it for, a thousand is not. No, that's not what you said. I'll read the text because I have the evidence of that. I want a thousand bucks, ten, one hundred dollar bills. Yeah, cash. Yeah. Yeah. But here's the thing.

Here's the thing. And then I said, you're on the phone, would you buy it or not? It's okay, that's not going to change my life. I thought I was doing you a favor because I thought you still wanted it. You would have? Well, I quit being so selfish. I thought you still wanted. I go, let me call Bobby.

If he still wants it, then that's not a big deal. How much is the bike worth? What's that? How much is the bike? I saw it online for 2,700. You think he called me and gave me a call to what he wanted without him knowing exactly how much it's online for? No, I looked it up after you said, let me. Let me do some research.

Then I looked it up. Why don't you just give it to me? I think that's... You've lost your fucking mind. Because I've already given you... Now we're getting to the heart of it. Where's my Christmas present? I got it in the car.

In the car? I got it in my truck. Yeah? Why didn't you bring it in? I forgot. It's right in my back seat. First of all. I will...

Listen, I'm telling you, walk with Christine in my truck after? No. Why? It's right down the street. You get it and bring it to me. I'm not delivered. Where did you park?

in a parking garage where 48th street okay it's right there Christine can you show them and you can get it tonight it's my back seat I go you know what I got you no you want me to tell you no why because it's a surprise it's a gift it's not a surprise you're grown men we're not surprising you a nice gift for Christmas

I got you didn't okay I gave you that fist hammer you gave me a fist hammer it's fucking nice it's weird but it's nice it's not nice I have to explain it to everybody that sees it. I bet you having your car you could really fucking clob or somebody. It looks like I'm putting it in my asshole. It's a fist.

I loved it. I was going to get myself one. I bet you would. You got me a fist hammer for Christmas. Well, I had two things for you, and I kept the other one and gave you that one. What? I had an option to give you two things. And you didn't give me two?

You kept one? I was only giving you one. One of the two. What was the other gift I could have got besides a fist hammer? It was a crank radio that you crank. I would have loved that. And it's a CB, it has everything. I would have crank it.

I would have that. I thought you would have had that already. I don't have it. I really would love that. It's great for camping. I would have loved to take that out of the woods. Maybe for your birthday. Anyways.

When's your birthday? I got you a charger. Do you know the battery charges for the phone? Yeah. The ones that you plug your phone in, the, uh... The crank thing has a battery charger too. Okay. Listen.

It's everything. Remember you, remember you went to... You went to Mohegan's a light? You went to Mohegan's a light? son and your car was dead, the battery was dead? Yeah. And you didn't have cables? They said it was dead, but I don't think it was. Okay, that's besides the point. Can I, I mean, this is, I couldn't, I don't know how

Bonnie fucking even talks to you. She doesn't. Okay, good. That makes sense. I gave you, I got you, so now you keep it in your car, it's fully charged. Yes. Anytime you're caught. And you just put it on your battery. I hate you. I hate you. And you put on your battery. Can I finish my, my, my present story? If you quit holding you. your breast when you talk to me.

You're trying to turn me on, so I agree with you. It's a battery thing, and then stop talking. Go back on your phone. And anytime your battery dies, you just put it up and it juices your car. Yeah, those are cool. It's awesome. Yeah, I saw one. It's very expensive, too. Yeah, nah.

100 bucks. I spent 50 bucks. 4999. I see them. On Facebook Marketplace. You know, I bought Bonnie. And she won't even open it. I'm sure you have one, too. In case you get a flat, your car runs out of air, you plug it in, and you could pump the air into your car through either your cigarette or later. This one's automatic.

It pumps air. It's an air pump. But what if there's a hole in your tire? You can just get her a can to fix a flat. Well, that too, but to pump the air. Okay. You know, I'm just saying it's always good to have. I'm just saying this to you.

I'm just saying this. Let's go back in the history of this, this, this bike. Here's the thing. How did you get the bike? It was a gift. Okay. Through the company. How much did you pay?

A gift you don't pay. Great. So why don't you give it to me? Oh, really? Why don't you give it to me for $500. No. Why? Because you don't need it.

You bought one. Remember you said that? Yeah, I know, but I bought one for Max. I would like to have one for me. Oh. $500. No. $500.

In 20s. So it looks like more. like more. I have a thousand in my wallet just in case of emergency. I don't need it. I was doing you a favor. All right, dude. Forget it. Keep the bike. I hope it rots in your garage. So do I do. I hope it just, I hope you, every time you look at it, you get sad. I hope, you know what I hope happens? I hope my whole family dies. And then every time you think of us, you look at that bike, every time you look at that bike, you think of, I should have given the bike. I'm going to ride that bike to the funeral.

No. No. They go for $2,700 I'm giving it to you for $1,000. But you're acting like you paid for it. That doesn't matter. If somebody gave you a fucking diamond necklace as a gift, and I said, oh, let me have it.

No, that's totally different. How's it different? Because a diamond necklace has value and goes up in value. That's like an investment. This stupid bike, they've made 19 different versions since it came out. But it's still 2,700. I'm giving it to you for a thousand. And it's put together.

And you wrote it once. One time. Yeah, I know. One time. One time. So it's used. It's used. It's used. So, yeah.

That's why I knocked it down to a thousand. Now, give it to me. Let me have it. As a friend, stop drinking on the air. It's disgusting. Listen, let me explain something to you about it. And I'm not bringing up stuff. Yeah.

There's stuff I was going to sell that I've given to you, and you've given me. Nothing. That's not true. I've given you stuff. Everything you give me, there's a price. What do you mean? Let me explain that. When you give something and there's a price, I'm paying. Okay, what?

Okay. Oh, you did give me something that was for free. What was that? Which I'd never use. Some kind of ear things that you hook up to your phone during a podcast or something, whatever they were. There were some out-of-day thing. But they were, if you used them, they were good at the time. Whatever it was, I never used.

I don't know. Are you okay? No. I mean, this is grossing me out. I can't imagine the listeners are sitting there going, what the fuck is happening? The listener. I can't imagine that guy. When you stop touching your microphone.

So I, listen, we're friends. Yeah. The hat I gave you. Do you ever wear that nice, beautiful? That hat's worth a lot of money. Right. You gave me a, okay, here's the thing with the hat. You gave me a fedora.

A beautiful, brand new worth a couple hundred. Right. The problem is I don't play black rooms, so I don't have an opportunity to wear it. You can wear that fadora. Where? Where could I wear it? Huh? When you go play cards?

On Easter. What? When you go play cards? Around six. I don't play cards. You don't play cards with your... Man friends? With your Tulsa buddies.

You don't do Tulsa anymore with your buddies anymore up there in a cigar place. I was there last night. Oh, cool. I went last night. That's a good place to wear that hat. No, it's not. It's going to smell like smoke. Okay, forget the hat.

You gave me a nice hat. You did give me. I do like the hat. Okay. But I just don't have an opportunity to wear a fedora. Okay. Because it's not 1952. I wear fedoras all the time.

Yeah, but you're at 70. I'll be 69. I know, it's crazy. In June. I know. God bless you. You look great for 69. You're not an MRI.

Can I... Yeah, go ahead, Jake. I don't want to interrupt. You were, you kept both of you bringing up gadgets. And when the Iran war broke out, I started watching all these prepper videos. Everyone started prepping. We have all that stuff. That's what I was going to ask.

You guys do prepping stuff. Yeah, but I do it. I do it with stuff that was made like this year. He does it and all his stuff says Marlboro on it. No, I got times of good stuff. But you watch the videos and like one guy will say you're a jerk off if you buy this. Everyone's the real deal on YouTube. He will put down all the other prepping stuff that somebody else bought.

All I have. This is all you need for prepping. I have three water filters, one for each of us, that you can just dip into a dirty puddle and it will be drinkable water. I got that. I have a couple water straws, right? And I have freeze-dried food. I don't have that. What about medical supplies?

I have a huge first aid kit. Did you go to the dog? And I have guns in New Hampshire. Right. And I have... You have hamsters? What?

Oh, no. What do you need hamsters for? I thought you say you have guns and hamsters. In New Hampshire. I know. No, but like one guy said, all these other suckers, they're going to the first aid section aisle to buy all that stuff that's... No.

Go to the dog aisle, the pet aisle, and buy the ointment, antibacterial ointment for dogs, same as human. you get one that'll last for you for 10 years. It's that type of prepping. Do you have next level prepping? Do you have Vaseline and Comballs to start fires? You got them, right, I do. That's on the list.

That's right. I just have Vaseline and Combales. That's all I'm doing now. If the world does, I'm just jerking off until I die. I'm going to goon. I have all kinds of, I know I have a saw that's a chain, I'm pretty sure. You have a chainsaw thing? No, not a chainsaw.

It's a chain that's a saw. Yeah, it's a chain chain. Yeah, and I have handles on it. Yeah, I have that. I have all hatchets, knives, you know, just stuff in my car and my backpacks. But I actually use my stuff, though. Like, I'm taking Max primitive camping. I would like to go with you camping.

I'm going June 5th. You want to go? I'm just getting back. From where? Donnie Dust? I don't want to talk about it, but I'll let you know. Okay. Oh, okay.

You know. Oh, yeah. Are you doing Donny Dust camping? Yeah. You have to make your own... Going up into the woods. You don't have a snake guard for your feet? I'm sorry, what did you just say to me?

You don't have snake guards to put on your shins and around your legs? I have snake guards. Why? So you don't get bitten the legs as you're walking through... As you're walking through the woods. I'm walking on a trail. I'm not fucking walking up in the desert. It doesn't hurt.

It doesn't hurt. My self-esteem. No, it doesn't hurt. I'm going up the trail walking by other hikers with snake guards. You put them under your pants. What? I don't have pants. I'm going to wear shorts when I hike.

Oh, Tick Village. What are you talking about? Go ahead. Wear shorts. Get Ticks. You wear long pants and tuck them into your socks. There's no way. So ticks don't crawl up.

You're like the heart of Tick Country. Oh, Bonnie's calling. Oh, God. No, God. Hello? Do you want to call me? About what? Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Say she's on air. Oh, say she's on air. Oh, Bonnie, you're on air. I got. Is that what you're calling that? Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie's always negative. She's the most negative.

She never, you never get happy Bonnie. You always get, oh, this is what it is. Bonnie, I want to, Bonnie, the bike that he has, I want him to give it to me and he won't give it to me. He's nuts. He wants me to give it to him.

Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't I? One, I don't like him that much. Two. I thought he was like your best friend. one of them. He's in my top three. I am. Him, Colin, Norton, and sometimes Keith. You have Norton in there?

I go, just so you know exactly what to say to Bobby. And I told him, and he goes, I don't talk to Bobby about us. I know. Do I ever bring up Bonnie with you? Oh, never. No. I know. Oh, yeah, I know. I'm sure.

Listen, Bobby Bobby is he wants everything free in life. I gave him two sets of golf clubs. Two sets. I was going to sell him one and I said, you know what, keep the money, just take him.

Two sets of golf clubs. That's not giving me. I was going to pay for it. And I said, no. I said, I don't want the money. Keep them. But that's on you. You're right.

I gave them to you. That was great. What do you want for me and I'll give it to you? So give them the money you were going to give them for the golf clubs for the bike. 500 bucks. I'll give you 500 bucks.

Bonnie, he wants market price for the bike. No, the bikes were $2,700. I'm giving it to him for $1,000. It's three. You paid a lot of money. Yeah. Exactly, Bonnie. Exactly.

It was a gift. Yes. Just give me the bike. If you're not going to use a gift, you should give it. First of all, this is why we decided you didn't come in with me, because whatever he does, you're going to team up and take his side. Oh, my forgot. Let me try again.

Let me start again. Let me start again. Go ahead. Hang on. Ask me like I didn't know. Yeah, what should I do with that bike? Should I sell it or give it to me? Yeah, sell it.

Sell it. But Bonnie, shouldn't you, Bonnie, shouldn't you give it to me? Bonnie, shouldn't you give it to me for free? No, no. You should have to buy it. Market price. Thank you.

All right. Well, there you go. Sorry. I got a side with my husband on this one. You know what? I never understood why you guys slept in separate rooms. I do now. It's because I snore.

It's not because you. your snorts because you breathe I think you're doing the right thing Rich. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't know he was going to be like vindictive and mean about it. No, no, the problem is I realize neither one of you knows what vindictive means. Okay.

No, wait, stop. Let us tell us what it means. I know what it means. What does it mean? It means to be mean and come back at you, Vandictive. Vindictive? Vindictive. You said Vam. Well, Vandictive is a way to describe vindictive, Bobby.

Okay. You're right on this one, Rich. Thank you. God, I like your wife so much better. This is, you mean? Well, she's on fire. Her career's on fire. Yeah, I know. So give me the bike.

You don't need to make money. Yeah. All right. Say goodbye to Bonnie. Let's go. All right. Do you guys want to ask me something else? Yeah.

Anything else? Yeah, I do. stuff. Does it always got to be about Rich? Do we always have to center the man? Bonnie. Bonnie, how? You're not funny anymore, Rich. No, I'm not hanging up on my wife. That would have been hilarious.

I almost cried. I almost cried. Are you going to L.A. for any meetings coming up? Can you not have a regular conversation on the air? What are you talking about? You're having a conversation with your wife. You're the worst. I want her to bring up. You have a turkey on your way home, honey.

All right, we're going to take a break. See you later. Bonnie, I love you. I'll see you later. I like you. God. Rich, you know what? Keep the bike.

I don't want it. Good. And I'm going to buy you a bunch of gifts. And I'm just going to send them to you. I want your address. I'm just going to start sending you gifts for nothing. Don't worry. Because giving, you know what giving is?

Yeah, what I do with you all the time. It's not what you do. Yeah. No, you nickel and dime me. I don't nickel. It all started with the phone. and the recorder that you walked up and the iPad. You got a new iPad and you stiffed me for the old one and I never let it go.

I really did. And a camera. And you're a sucker. You're a sucker. And a phone. What a dummy. He paid $500 for an old iPad. It was like the first iPad ever.

There was iPad 4 out and he paid 500 bucks. He could have got a new one at Walmart for fucking $4.99. That's okay. I don't tell you, Van. But yes, I live and learn. Yeah, you do. You live and learn. And so do we. Rich Voss. He's going to be at the Grand Escondido, California, May 8th, and the Funny Bow in St. Louis, the 15th. May 8th and 9th is Friday, Saturday.

There's no 9th. I only read exactly what she brings up there. May 8th and 9th, and then the Funny Bone May 15th. And 16th. Friday Saturday. There's no 16 up there. I mean, this is not me. This is all on producer Christine. It's not her fault. Well, it is her for. I think she's trying to throw me under the bus because Jay's gone. No, it's the website.

It's Rich's fault. He still has a website, too. It's unbelievable. Check out richvoss.com for all his stuff. We got another guest coming in. Ellen Carragler. Wait, am you kicking me out? No, you're staying, you dummy.

What's wrong with your self-esteem? Nothing I was hoping. Make sure you check out PunchUp.Live. I'm going to be in Cleveland. Boston. I'm going to be in town this weekend, but I can't tell you why. But next week, a weekend after that, I'll be in Cleveland, the 15th and 16th, and then Stanford, Connecticut. May 21st, one show, Punchup.com. Live slash Robert Kelly.

And Jay is out right now doing Story Wars in L.A. Make sure you check him out this week. He's got a lot of stuff. Big Jay is going to be big time next week. I'm telling you. He's going to kill. Well, relax. We didn't tell anybody that yet.

Go to bigjaycom.com. And we'll be right back. It's the bonfire. I've always liked men. I do. I like men. Put your headphones on Voss. So you can hear all Luz Magic. Oh, Luz Magic. What's up, everybody? We're back. It's the bonfire. I forgot magic.

Oh, Eleanor Clegg. Clegg. Why the hell would you do that? I know. Seriously. I'm just joking. What kind of person? I'm sorry. I have a story about her, too. Eleanor Carragon is here. One of my favorite people. Playcorn wouldn't do this show. She can't. I don't think she's alive.

Oh, shit. My fault. And of course, the legend, Rich Voss, is here in studio. Eleanor. No, you're one of my favorites. Where did we meet? I don't remember. Did you do a guest spot or something?

No, we met on the cruise. I remember. No, we met before that. We never met before that. Never met before that. We met at the Joker's cruise. In practical Joker's cruise. In the food room, you and your sister.

Yeah, my sister's out of control with her condiments. in her handbag like a kook yeah i love your sister she was like you need salt she had salt you need to passco she had a whole thing like a it was so sick bobby's like i'll take the salt i did i needed salt why go up and get it i think she went to see you at what the hell is it called soul joles when it was outside yeah that's right my brother johnny yeah and she brought you salt she was so excited i love your sister she brought me a little packets of salt she's funny why salt what because she wants his high blood pressure up. Oh, I'll tell you, so I was supposed

to do the room at the clareage. Right now? No, when it was over. So Dice calls me and says, hey, listen, I'm taking you. Eleanor, just go with it. I'm sorry, I didn't realize he was in a story while we weren't. Okay. No, no, Eleanor.

You're done talking about salt? Yeah, when he, listen, I'm telling you. Okay, condom. Hold on the salt of the air wants to speak. Eleanor, he's never been diagnosed. He's ADHD and a smidge autism. And I'm just putting it together. I wouldn't insult autistic people like that.

You know, you're right. I remember when I met Ellen, she bought me pat-pica. Ellen. Ellen, she bought me paprika. Ellen, Ellen, Clegghorn, and Ellen. You guys just want me to be a dyke. All right. Oh, shoot.

You can say that. You can say that. You can't. I can't. You what? No one's listening. Oh, good. Hang on, hang on.

Hang on. Oh, no. No. Sell tickets. We have to go to the sensor. Commercial again? No, we have to go to the sensor. Oh, thank God.

Can we say it? I think that's okay. Okay, great. You can say it. Oh, thank you. Hold on. Rich has a riveting story. You can't say captain.

No, I'm kidding. Don't come after me. I know. I'm sorry. I'm just angry. I'm stuck in traffic. I apologize. I'm ready to kill somebody.

Can I tell you right now? Yeah. I think you have the best hair in the business. Well, thank you. It's really on my nerves right now. You don't think her hair is. I mean, Christine, am I crazy? No, great hair.

Thank you. You have, like, you have Gen X hair. I don't see. Oh, wow. You have like Charlie's Angels. I kept my Gen Xe going. Yeah, you have Charlie's Angels three's company. I am Gen X, right?

Yeah, you are. I'll be dead within the hour. What time is it? You morphed into Howie Mendo. I take that as a compliment. You call me a pincushion. Now I'm thin. I'll take it as a compliment.

Oh, Jesus. You know, this is what I don't know. This is what bugs me about Rich. What? Everything. No, no. I love a lot of things about you. Okay.

You're one of my closest friends. Yes. You're one of the sweetest guys ever. You're cheap, but that's okay. I'm not, are you crazy? I just want to say, I'm a high roller, bitch. That's gambling.

Are you judging him on his chains or? No, it's not. I don't mind the chains. I don't mind the watch. I don't mind the bracelet. He's a jeweler guy. I don't like guys who wear rings. I don't think men should wear rings.

I think ring. They're just silly. You should wear one around your neck. Sorry We'll just let that sit there Okay I mean we'll let your anger sit there I have no anger

I let go and let God I just don't like a live and let live I'm not a ring person I'm not a jewelry person I like hoopie rings No it's true That's true too You guys You guys are big watch guys right

I used to be I have a watch collection And that's all I wear I don't even wear a wedding I got Don's name tattooed on my finger I don't even wear wedding ring. What's your watch tonight? I forgot it on the counter.

I'm bumming. Oh. Oh, but I have a counter. On my counter in my kitchen. Oh, thank good. I have a little island. Oh, I'm sorry.

You're bragging about your... Yeah. I have an island. A little creepies. You have an island. Is it a granite? Like, I... What happened is my heated floors in the bathroom?

Sometimes take me away. Yeah, yeah. And I forget things. Yeah. You know, but my shower. Oh, fuck. I'm walking on coals all day. Yeah.

I've got to get my pool open this week. Buddy, can you do it after the show? What does that mean? The pool. My in-ground pool. So you have to have it open. I like how you say inground. Yeah, inground.

I really call it. He doesn't have a pawn. I call it built-in. And most people called in-ground, but I grew up called built-in pool. Like a built-in. We called it Rich. Yeah. You did?

Yeah. Well, you go up in Philly, right? Yeah, South Philly. So if you had a pool, I mean, I ran a pool. I ran a public pool. When your house is connected? Yes. My mom still lives in the same row home.

Is that like a row home? Yeah. That's kind of cool, huh? That's the best. Cue everybody on the block. Sure, you take a shower with your neighbor. You can feel each other up through the walls. That's cool, though.

You think a row home is cool? It is back then because... Why not now? That's rude. Because now you're poor. But back then... Still poor. Still hanging on.

But back then, when a lot of immigrants came over, when a lot of Italians were in one section, Irish. Sure. In Philly, we're still doing that. We're still segregating over there. Yeah, it's good. Vosco's at the good old days. Yes, I call that.

Segregation. Every time. Yes. See how far he is over there? Oh, man. Black Lou in the corner. He's not in the corner because we make him sit there. That's his office space.

I didn't notice he disappeared. I didn't know where you went. I thought they kicked you out while we were. So that's fucked up. Messed up. You can fucking swear. I don't know. satellite radio, you're good.

Like, I know what's happening. I just don't, I just, the fact that he wears four rings is in my life. I have five, one, the diamonds are loose. If he had a body count, would it be okay? Yeah, you mean if he was a rapper? Or, you ever killed someone or whatever. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, it would be fine with that. I kill on stage every time.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So you're killed thousands of people a year? She said thousands because it's not a lot. No. Not at all. When I. Ha ha ha ha

She's trying to sell tickets in Pleasant New Jersey if you're listening Ellen Ellen, Ellen Craighorn And Eleanor Let's don't Google They're going to Google Ellen Clegghorn Ellen DeGeneres and Nancy Kerrigan I'm no one's going to come to my show

Eleanor is going to be at Uncle Vinny's this week Friday and Saturday and Saturday It's so much fun because It is a great little room to do crowd work And fuck around it's just so much fun. I love doing that room. I did my only album there.

Really? During the pandemic, ladylike. Didn't you do that with my company? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, Bobby, for remembering. Well, I actually got you the special. I appreciate it. I was like, you got to see this girl because she's the best.

Check this hoe out. Check that hoe out.