The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Free Nuggets with Andy Fiori

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

Jay informs the gang that you can get free chicken nuggets at a Sixers game if a player misses free throws. Andy Fiori is on hand as Jacob fawns over the women's USA Soccer champions. Everyone has different little league experiences from childhood. Bob thinks an A.I. sex robot would have some challenges. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now, the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly. fucking TV this is it last play of the USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA I'm gonna go get you. Who was the real winner at this year's Olympics? A lot of people would say a young Jacob Batat. And Trinity. And Trinity, apparently. I don't know who Trinity is but I assume she's on the team. Trinity Rodman. Does she have any online nudes? These are forward. None? Right to that. Christine please Trinity Robinson a nude please. She could be in the body issue of ESPN you never know. We're five seconds in

and we're already looking at tail. He said he wanted to talk Olympics What do you talk about the Olympics fucking volleyball butts? She's Our forwards are wow Man, you nice the breakdancing the Olympics was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life I can't I can't talk about it's an Olympic sport. I can't talk about it, but that looks like somebody I met last night Come on Trinity You can talk about it in that regard. If everybody already knows how the night went.

Wow. Yeah, she is pretty hot. She's hot. But she's got that, and dare I say, belly button. Here it comes. The belly button. What? It's perfect.

No, I don't like it. It's too flush. It's a knot. I'd rather have it be a hole. She's like she had a kid, and she did it herself in a parking lot. Yes. She did it herself. Yo, baby, get me those nail clippers. Because that's what you have to go through when you're from wherever she's from.

Yeah. She's got that little weird belly button. That wasn't a good hospital. Do you have Jacob losing his mind for Trinity? That's it. No, there's more. Oh, no, no, there's more. Yeah!

Oh, no, no, there's more. Yeah! Oh, no. I thought there was one where he says Trinity like eight times. No, he, no, he said it eight times. Come on, Trinity. Is that what it was, just he said it once? He looped it. I said it once. Oh. No, he said it twice or three times.

Plus, he kissed the phone when they won. Okay. He showed it to Bobby. It was uncomfortable. After you kissed the phone when they won. Okay. He did kiss the phone. I showed it to Bobby. It was uncomfortable. After you kissed your phone? Yeah. It's reminiscent of Joey Logano. Yeah!

Yeah! And here's soccer. Yeah! Do you not care about men's soccer at all? No, I follow the men's team, they just don't win. Do you not care? Yeah, I watch every game. Do you not care about being a man at all?

I watch more sports than you. You do not I'm sorry. I watch more sports than you. You do not. He does. I watch more football than Jay. He watches the Eagles, I watch every game. You watch football or the game of the foot? Both. You do?

Yeah. All right. But I watch a lot of women's soccer, yes. I take that back. You know what? The thing about me, Jacob, is that, Lou, make me hot, I'm sorry. I appreciate it. And I can admit when I'm wrong.

Jacob, is your argument that you know more about football than me? No, I don't know more than football. You just watch more games. I watch more games. Oh, that's fair. I'd say that's fair. If you told me who was on any team,

I don't think I'd get the list of five players. You just take the game in. I just watch the games, I love watching the games. Fucking TV, you fucking TV. But you know what? No passion like that. No, because I don't know the player. I TV, you fucking TV. No passion like that. No, because I don't know the player. I never picked a team.

What are you rooting for then? I just, I guess. Just the kill time for you, just the game itself? I enjoy the games. I love the sport, I love watching football. But I think, I mean, but I do consider myself a Giants fan, but if you mock me for it, I wouldn't know why or care. It's not your fault, there's a terrible organization

making terrible decisions all the time. I mean, as hard knocks showed us this year, I think we're pretty in shape. You know what, Jacob, I'm getting sick of people. You can be sure that you're in good shape. I'm getting sick of people making fun of people for not knowing shit about shit. Oh, have you quite?

Doesn't matter, you watch football, you don't need to know shit. I don't care, you like the game. I got made fun of, I was going to Slipknot and Lewis Gumbel was like, you don't even know one fucking song. It's like, so that means I shouldn't go and enjoy myself. I shouldn't go and try to maybe learn a song or have fun

because I don't know something about something. Doesn't mean that- That's the way I've always been. I don't like that kind of closed mindedness. I don't like to live in that. What are you talking about? No, my music is different. Hi, I'm Andy. It's Andy. You know what?

I do. I know how you guys work. This was going to go on for 30 more minutes if I didn't take over that introduction myself. Everybody he's headlining Souljaws in Pottstown Pennsylvania Friday August 16th love Souljaws, you guys are one of us you guys always stay on track too and the Harbor Square Theater in Stone Harbor New Jersey Sunday this Sunday so this Friday in Pottstown PA and this Sunday at the Harbor Square Theater annual Stone Harbor show it's always a blast and then we go out afterwards and I stay at the beach for the whole week It's my favorite you can get tickets and tour dates at Andy fury f I O R I Andy fury duck I ever

Hey, buddy, I will say this I'm not going to a show at 45 That I live concert that I know none of the music anymore. I'm not just going to a live show I have to because I got a kid and he I want him to experience shit that I never did. This was more this seemed more like a work outting as well. No, this. Well, it was more Jay made it. Listen, Jay will sell fucking ice to Eskimos. You know what I'm saying? I mean, he is good. He will do. There's explosions and fire and the thing flies up and spaceships and they throw people into a crowd

and fucking women whip their boobs out and there's ice cream on their vaginas and you can just get it for free. And then, you know, all of us, you get hand jobs and we'll watch Max. Yes, this is what, all the stuff he said. I reneged my last statement. It wasn't over, so.

It was a little bit, but I- Everyone didn't get hand jobs. Not everybody max max You have a special via a jerk to the rock. Just me and Max No, but I I had a blast like I go I try not to say no that was my thing at 50 I you know cuz I'm an influencer and I was gonna do a whole campaign about this after 50 Try not to say no. Say yes to life.

Say yes, don't say, no, no, say yes to everything, but just don't say no to everything. I understand what you're saying for sure. Right. And there is something you have to know one song, but I will say, and again, it's also the time, you're making this an age thing for sure, because when I was younger,

I got talked into going to Marilyn Manson. You said it was an age thing at the beginning. I got talked into Marilyn Manson the first time I went and then I was just like, this is insane. I didn't know Elle's song except Sweet Dreams and I was like, this is fucking crazy. This is, and I got so into the show. I had a feeling Slipknot's a similar thing

for a kid particularly. The visual of it is, but not the- Yeah, you're right. It is an age thing. It hit, and we've already talked about this, but it hit him last night. Something happened to Max last night. He was a little like stabbed,

but he was looking, he was into it. But he was really, very much how I myself, I used to get asked to concerts a lot when I was younger, especially when I'd go people, and it's funny how much I ask because other people were having a good time. Like people would always go, it's like, are you having fun?

Because like my hands are almost in my pockets and I'm just like looking at the stage because it was pure rockstar. having a good time, people would always go, are you having fun? Because my hands are almost in my pockets and I'm just looking at the stage because it was pure rockstar. And I just watched him with a, that is the coolest thing in the world. And it looked like I was not enjoying myself, but I'm just taking it in of like a,

this is the coolest fucking thing ever. And seeing Corey Taylor come out with the dreadlock mask again and everything, it was such a cool presentation. lock my ass again and everything. It was such a cool presentation. Yeah, it was pretty wild. But I'm saying, dude, you get shit, people, you'll never do anything and you'll never,

you get bitched out of shit because people are like, dude, you don't know a fucking one. I mean, Jay does it to me jokingly, of course. He doesn't mean it when he says it about the Celtics, right? But you don't, though, know anything about it. This is just, this is what I'm talking about. Sports is different. No it's not.

Yeah I was gonna say, what are, How is it different? So I can't enjoy a Celtics game? What if I really got into it now? Yes. And me and you, and in a couple years, I knew everything. But because of the way you say that, and the tone you take, like my second stepdad Billy M,

who really treated me like shit, and I was nothing, I was stupid, stupid I was an idiot and I don't think you know what I'm never I'm never gonna do that on me you know what I'm never gonna watch a game because I don't know Billy M Billy yeah Billy M listen at the core of it we all know Billy M was a piece of shit big time okay but yeah he just wanted you to be a man dude and. And he just didn't understand that, you know, if you're gonna talk to other guys at some point, he was trying to prepare you.

He was like, Robert, you're gonna be 50 something one day and be confused about your home teams. And that's not gonna fare well in conversations. Yeah, but here's the thing. I did know about my home teams. Yeah, then you had to like throw it away. You're like, I need to dance and act. Yeah, because dancing's important to me. I like, dude, I think it's great that you know all the things. I admire people who know stats and all that,

but I don't give a fuck. I don't know stats, and I know much less than many, many people about sports in my own circle sometimes. Can I just speak to that? I mean, I think it's weird shit when people are like, dude, I think it's great that you know all the things. I admire people who know stats and all that,

but I don't give a fuck. I don't know stats, and I know much less than many, many people about sports in my own circle sometimes. Can I just speak to that? I admire people who know stats and all that, but I don't give a fuck. I don't know stats and I know much less than many, many people about sports in my own circle sometimes. Can I just, speaking of, we were talking football earlier, me and Black Lou used to be in a fantasy league. I have retired from fantasy football

and I have never been happier watching pro football. Getting out of. And not having to have to worry about the stress of my guys doing well. No, right, I just wanna watch my team win. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I can go want to watch my team win. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I can go to any- But Black Lou loves it.

Like he's a fucking- Obsessed. Yeah. I can go to any game and have fun now. Like I used to, when I was a Red Sox- I don't know, man. I was a Red Sox Patriots- I don't know if I'm into fucking women's soccer.

Like Jacob is- Patriots, Bruins fans. I would have to go to Yan- I know for you. I would have to go to Yankee games and Patriots can be like, fuck it. And you know, I couldn't go to Yankee games and Patriots and be like, fuck it, ugh. And I couldn't go to other, it's like, I don't care anymore.

I go to a fucking game, I love it. I can jump in at the end with the pats are in it. I don't hate my life at the end of the year when the team doesn't win. You don't get to hit your life for a couple hours. But you're bummed. I'm bummed. I'm bummed.

Fucking Rangers lose. Sure, I'm bummed, but I mean, you can move on with life. It's the end of the world. When I was younger, I did probably take it way worse. When the Yankees, when the Red Sox came back from down 3-0, that one hit me in a very emotional way. Actually, that hit me in a very emotional way. Yeah, it was on the opposite side of that. I mean, I was really fucking devastated

that the Yankees lost. When my girls lose, I'm devastated. That's the gayest thing I've ever heard anybody say. That is strange. For a guy who doesn't have women's national team. For a guy who doesn't have girl kids, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard. You're American, right?

Yeah. Uh-huh. What's your problem? You can't root for Team America? I'm also. You can't call the USA basketball team my boys and get away with that in today's society. Good luck.

It's true. Ah, my boys out there playing? They're not your boys. They're my dudes. No, I wasn't saying they're my, like, put, you know what? My homies. Go Sixers.

Go get them, boys. Hey. I like the USA when they win. Yeah, they won the gold. Why can't, you're not happy for that? I am happy for it. I'm not gonna scream, go Tiffany. Can I say that if they lost,

it would have made a difference in my life at all? No, all right. It does to me. If they had lost, it wouldn't have mattered to me whatsoever. I wouldn't have known. I'm happy they won as a patriot. But again, you're not invested.

I'm invested. Correct, correct. It's caring about the sport. Also enjoying the sport. There's plenty of sports that if you don't give a shit about the sport, you don't give a fuck about the sport. Soccer don't do it for me. I've invested. I'm invested. Correct. It's caring about the sport. Also enjoying the sport. There's plenty of sports that it's like, if you don't give a shit about the sport, you don't give a fuck about the sport. Soccer don't do it for me.

I've tried. My daughter played soccer her whole childhood. I put in extra work to not have to be there. For most of those games. I'll do an extra day on the road. I'm like, well, her games are on Sundays and you know now I started doing Sunday shows. Yeah, I'm so glad Max got he was in soccer for like a week. I was like I don't like this

I was like me neither. She did lacrosse that was fun she did basketball that was a blast but her mom just shoved her in the soccer and she's tall she was good goalie so like she always played but yeah terrible teams so she is a good goalie. If I told you this girl had eight to 12 stops a game, that's a crazy amount of stops. But it was 75 to 80 shots on goal. Like it was nonstop, she just got shelled every week. Her goal against average is garbage.

Great saves, confidence, like you could only do, the whole game was played on their side of the field 100% of the time. Like the whole game was just in front of her just getting nonstop, she's like, just like jumping on, eventually they get through. So you go and it's like, did you have a good game? And it's like, yeah, what was the score?

It was 81 to four, we lost. Also they rarely ever scored themselves. When they won a game, it was like, every time they won it was a Super Bowl, because there was three in her entire career as a soccer player. From, I mean, six years old, to like 18. I don't understand the parents.

She only saw three victories. Yes, three wins. Parents get so into their kids winning the game. It's like, he's- Especially in that scenario. He's like, fuck it, he's 11, 10 or 11. Who cares if they win? Oh, Carla, my ex would be screaming on the sideline with all the other Hispanic people

and I would just be there, I'm like, what are you yelling? Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Who cares? Ref, that's an offside! I'm like, who cares? There was a guy on our team, he's kind of whatever, doofy, and we were playing one of the other towns,

a little richer town. Wait, this is Max's? Max's lacrosse team, his lacrosse team. And they were playing, you know, a little richer town, you know, blue collar, apple blue collar, plumbers Contractors and it was all the Italian wives with their Stanley cups and their chairs and they're all you know They're their sons were playing and he said something About the other team and the kids or something. They fucking turned on this fucking oof and they were like

Why don't you shut the fuck up? Why don't you go over and sit on yours and he was like, why don't you and he said something back Why don't you go over and sit on yours? And he was like, why don't you? And he said something back. All of a sudden, just see this chicken on the phone start dialing. And then this fucking stamenkya, this dude, you can see him walking like a fucking mile. Just this jacked up, tight shirt, tucked in, nunzio,

walking up, I'm like, fuck me. Walked right up to this guy, walked over to his wife, she pointed, walked right over, like, good fellas, you gotta fuck him, we start snapping, the guy just totally bitched out in front of everybody. Oh, it was so sad. So sad. Couldn't see getting no fight over kid sports,

you look like a whacker. Yeah, this guy, this guy, bitch. You look like such a whack-off getting into a, man, I had a. All the Italian wives are so funny though, just went back to talking and taking the Stanley Cubs. When I did Cub Scouts softball, when I was a little, little kid,

one of the coaches of the teams, he lived on my grandmother's block, Sam something, I always can't remember his name. Sam Morell? Nope. Columbus. Have he said, like dad? And he. Thomas. Thomas. That's Nope. Columbus. Heavy set, like dad.

Thomas. Thomas. That's him. But he was like the coach that like, I mean these games were softball, underhand pitch, softball. Yeah. Children.

Sure. You can get a home run if you hit it into like right behind second base because everyone's following. This guy was a screaming, yelling at the umpires, like overly aggressive guy, had a fucking heart attack on the thing, he lived, but like, he literally would have like a,

you call that a buh, it's a, grrrr, grrr, it was this gurgling noise, I'll never forget it, he just hit his knees and started grabbing his chest, and then everyone started pulling the kids away from what was happening, but it was like, holy shit dude, that guy is too ramped up. They get ramped

Yeah, I had some serious coaches. They took it very seriously I said I remember that story is I hit a shot that it was the RBI that won us the game I and I think but I'll tell you what and I mean this That could be completely fabricated in my head and the guy just had a heart attack on again I may have been sitting the whole game. I wasn't though because I could send it Cleanup, that was always my heart attack when I get, I may have been sitting the whole game. I wasn't though, because I could send it. Cleanup hitter dude, that was always my game. Really? When I played baseball, I was always power hitter,

right field if they had anything, I mean they'd send me out there, I was so slow. That was first or right. But um. First base or right. You played first base or right? First base or right field. I was catcher.

Two positions I had to move the least. Yep. I was pitcher, catcher, and left field. But dude, I played up to what they called Babe Ruth, which was like eighth grade. Once a curve ball came in from the pitcher and I dove out of the way. And then I heard, strike!

I was like, well, I'm done. I'm done with the game. I played through American Legion. Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait. This thing was coming for my dome and I threw up the bat and then it just goes, ah! Ah!

Ah! Yeah. I'm out, I'm out. Going back to hockey. The reason I was never first base, and I think in the few times they tried first base, what I hid, straight through American Legion ball, which is like 15, straight through that,

I hid that I was terrified of the ball in the infield. I could catch in the infield. I was terrified of getting hit from the pitcher. I was terrified of getting, I would never pitched because I was afraid of that ball coming right back at you. Sounds crazy to me. Legitimate concern. And then first base, same thing.

No, I didn't have to worry about catching the throws or anything like that. It was the ball coming off the bat at me a hundred miles an hour and me panicking. Yeah, yeah. Like me panicking. That was all aluminum too. So I didn't mind playing in the right field.

Aluminum bat? Yeah. Oh dude, I was catcher once. Just clink! I was catcher once. That noise will get clink! And I don't know what I did. The ball was coming in high,

so I ran in front of the batter to catch it and he swung and hit my elbow. I just went, oof. Yeah, man, the right spot. My arm shot that way. It's 100% your fault. And you heard, it was all my fault. And you heard, ping, and the ball.

And I was crying so bad, but my parents and my mom never went to the game. What year is this? I never had, I had to be what, Little League, six, seven, eight? And I was just lying on the ground. Nine year is this? I never had, I had to be what, Little League six, seven, eight? And I was just lying on the ground. Nine, 10, 11, 12. They kept going, where's his parents?

And I had to go, they don't come. Oh. Oh. Just walking off holding it, alone. My dad never came to any of my games. He wasn't around. My mom worked, but my grandfather would come, and I remember he always gave me a Philadelphia soft pretzel.

And they would sell, but it wasn't even a snack bar, it was a cooler someone was selling out of, and you can get a pretzel from the pretzel cart, and a soda that just had one word on it. Whatever it was, grape, orange, cola. It was one word, and it was just stripes on the can. I mean, it was, grape, orange, cola, it was one word and it was just stripes on the can. I mean it was like cartoon soda. The pretzel car was the fucking shopping cart

from the Acme. We had the West Medford Hillside playoffs. Oh they were good. All-star game. I remember. Hillside. What year dude, I'll tell you who was the star in pictures. Hillside. I'm an encyclopedia, I'm a farmer's almanac. Hillside won. Stats Oakers.

Ten years in a row. I was on West Medford. Last out of the game for us to win, left field, hit the ball to me, slid in on my knees. Estevez Gutierrez at the plate. Catch it. I catch it. There was no Spanish people, it was Medford. They were over the other part.

Sorry. Think. Yeah dude. Use your head. Whitey O'Hoolahan throws to Whitey O'Flaherty. Sully and Sully. I slid on on my knees, caught the ball for the winning, for West Medford to win, first time in ten years. They all pig piled me. Oh no, they fucked you?

I have a fear of that. Your parents didn't even see you. I start I start there was no parents. I was crying crying hysterically because I couldn't breathe The parentless kids crying again. It was just on me. It was just on me then they handed me a root beer and I was just We just I just won the game and they all I had to walk home on the highway by myself. Your MVP of the night, Orphan Bob Kelly. I remember when I got home, nobody was home. Nobody was home except my grandfather and he was in his chair smoking a Philly blunt.

And I go, I just won the game. He's like, yeah. Leave it to the Mexicans. I got a free, if you hit a home run in my little league, you got a free hot dog and a drink. Dude, that would have motivated the shit out of me. Wow. And I got the hit the nitsuit.

Talking about incentive. After every game I would be holding eight fucking hot dogs. Yeah, Jose Canseco stats. The fucking Bash Forte Club. Dude, this guy moves. Oh, I felt like a million dollars when I hit a home run. You have to consider I come from a place that in the second half of Sixers games, you know, people win five. Chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A are this big. That's how big the nuggets are. They're little balls of chicken. They're good though.

They're great. You win five if the team, the away team, I've showed this on the show before I think, right? If the away team misses both free throws in the second quarter. If they're shooting free throws, if they miss them both they go nuts. The way people get excited, I mean, end of game atmosphere with game on the line

does not compare to a game where they're losing by 20 points and They go free nuggets on the line. If somebody misses the first free throw Games way of holding no no no no no they go Christina do you have the Ben Simmons one dude? There's gotta be a video Ben Simmons missing a two free throws running up and down the aisles Cuz also was Ben Simmons who was terrible at free throws when he was on the Sixers, and that was a big deal. And then he came and got everybody nuggets

in that second round. It's an explosion. This isn't how it felt when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Everyone just goes like, ah, fucking Ben Simmons got his free nuggets. Five nuggets. Do they bring them to you? Or you have to go get them?

I'm sure you have to redeem them. If you live in anywhere where there hears this news, Oh, you didn't have to be at the game? the next day you can go to, no, not even. I'd say it'd be a ticket holder. Nope. So anybody in Philly can just go? Yes.

That's wild. That's crazy. You just have to go to the app and be like, Sixers, fucking, it's nutty. Is this it? Yes, watch out. No, no, no, no, this is first quarter. That's not it? It's not in the first quarter. Oh. Is it it? Yes, watch out. No, no, no, this is first quarter. That's not it?

It's not in the first quarter. Oh. Is it? Let me see it go. Sometime. Maybe they didn't, maybe they didn't, maybe they didn't any game. We'll head to the line.

This is so funny. Is the announcer in on it? Yes. They got to a lot better, John. I mean. Look how, they are so excited for Nuggets. There's people from all over the world in that All right, well you say that one suck it go later in the thing. This is this is wrong

Might be towards the end. It's great That's one that's one I'm excited I'm at this game chicken. That's a player Turn it up. So that's why they're so fired up. And... Yeah! That made me happy. You can't get...

You're like, I was there. I was like, yeah! I never take video. I took video. I go, he's going to get his free jacket. That's what I was going to get. It used to be Frosty's, right? It used to be Frosty's. It was the Frosty freeze out. I never take video. I said video. He's gonna get his free check Used to be frosty was the frosty freeze out. So if you make a mistake you get frosty's You can't for frosty's now it trains up the chicken. So great frosty's too much Now it's brickin for chicken. That's what they call it

Yeah, and the brick brick, but I mean it's such a this is TNT So it's like they know they don't have these deals at every kind of stadium So I'm saying that's a city where food mad a free fucking thing, dude. Hell. Yeah That's a parent about their blue-collars fan base Goddamnit, that's so funny. When I when I did hit the home run you you you go Well, I walked to the concession stand with some swagger and I went, I hit a home run.

They gave you the hot dog? They gave me the hot dog. Do you have to prove it? I think, I don't think, I think they might've given me a ticket, but I did not, I presented that first. I told them first. Yeah. He's like, that's probably why the line's so short. Most people are out in the parking lot looking for the ball. You probably already heard, so you probably don't need this. But I hit a home run.

You probably heard the fans too. You should just go on, as we do, you go and take like a baseball skin. Yeah. Like the outside. No, no, just take the ball out of it and just give it skin and it goes, that's all that's left of it,

but I'll take my hot dog now. Like the natural? Yeah, yeah, I guess. The ball exploded upon contact, but they said they can't rule with anything but a home run. So, there you go. I did that. I did that with a,

I got a hole in one on a golf course. Really? Yeah, I got a hole in one. Was it, I mean, it's a genuine question. Is that a complete accident? Because I didn't know you even know how to aim a golf ball. I know how to play golf. You do?

Yeah, I do. I don't. Yeah, I can play golf. I can drive. I'm not like Voss, I'm not great, but I can jump on it. Do you think Voss is great? Because then I don't think you can play at all. Voss know how to play golf. You do? Yeah, I do. I can play golf. I can drive. I'm not like Voss, I'm not great, but I can jump on him. Do you think Voss is great? Because then I don't think you can play at all. Voss is pretty good at golf. Is he good?

Yeah, he plays every day. Yeah, oh yeah, he's retired now. Where were you? Yeah. Oh yeah, that's right, Voss retired like 15 years ago. He's not retired, he just wasn't invited to Kill Tony. Oh, oh okay. I thought he was out of comedy because of that.

Everyone who was in comedy was at Kill Tony, man. I wasn't. Oh, but you were busy doing, you're moving. I thought he was out of comedy because of that. He's not everyone who was in comedy was a kill Tony man I wasn't oh, but you were busy doing you're moving. I was moving you're moving you have an excuse But they asked everybody in this room to go fucking DJ Lou did a minute If I was here's this he'll kill himself He's doesn't he's not listening this by the way every time we've ever called rich boss on this show from dude. He's not listening to this. By the way, every time we've ever called Rich Voss on this show from your phone, he's waking up. He naps constantly. Every time you call him, he's like, what?

No, that's his voice. No, he tells you. I think they're also involuntary. He'd just be sitting somewhere and then go, and doze off and then go, yeah. He's in a golf cart. Oh, pop-up drops, I call those. Yeah, yeah, pop-up drops.

Pop-up drops, and you just like, you think you're enjoying life. Christine pop-up drops, I call those. Yeah, pop-up drops. Pop-up drops, and you just like, you think you're enjoying life. Christine pop-up drops a lot. Yeah. I hit the hole-in-one. I was so excited. I went into the office. I was like, hey man, I just got a hole-in-one.

He's like, yeah, it's a par three. Happens a lot. Wow. I was like, all right. A lot. A little more enthusiasm. A lot. A lot is a stretch. A lot would tell me at least once a day

Is it a pigeon putter? No, it was a par-3 Massachusetts a par-3 is where you're gonna hit a hole in one for sure But I'm saying like the odds are the hole still this big. Yeah, dude, what a dick hole I got one at Tiger Woods and PGA golf 2000 on PlayStation 2 nice great day my life I'll tell you what. I mean, it still counts. Buddy. Hey, that was St. Andrews, all right?

No sneeze. You gotta wait him, is that real? Par four. I swear to God. Par four? It was a video game. I know. But here's the thing, I remember,

I used to play, it may have been Tiger Woods Golf or PGA, whatever it was, I'm going back to Genesis almost. No. Or PlayStation 1 even. I like the PlayStation. I think it was Genesis. What was the PlayStation handheld one that they came out with?

The one that was... PSP. PSP, that, Tiger Woods on that was the best. I have all those games because I have a Steam Deck, but it's fine, doesn't matter. Whatever, you're so elite. It is stupid. You gotta really make people feel crappy.

It's dumb, you guys don't even want it. No. No, I think I do. It's a bazillion hours of entertainment. Yeah, but we can't afford it. No, yes you can, stop it. No we can't. Sure, guys, what does it cost? of entertainment Can't afford it. No. Yes, you can stop it. Sure guys What is all this? No, no wall ten if you get the terabytes I got Oh, oh, I guess it's going cheaper now

Or you got ripped. No, no, no, I got but I did get the I got the most Memory. Yeah, what was the Arielle strip? We'll break it for you. Put all the most memory. Yeah. What was the- Because Joe Harari will break it for you and put all the old games on it. It's so fun. What was the worst injury you ever got in minor league sports? Bed sores.

In your amateur career? Bed sores. Aside from your elbow. Wheelchair hands. As open-ended question for anybody. It was, well I actually went from Little League. You struck out? Wheelchair hands? As an open-ended question for anybody. It was, well I actually went from Little League. You struck out on T-ball?

I went from Little League to kind of getting arrested pretty quick. That's how bad you were? I got into sports injury. Was that how bad you were? Well at 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 I was kind of drinking and fucking around and robbing people. You were like Kelly from Bad News Bears? You were, they arrest him on the field? I loved him. When he came up on the a dirt bike him in his shit face his bad skin

Jackie Earl Haley yeah, yeah terrible skin too. Yeah, he went on to be Wild it's racist Ever man fucking great. I love that movie a little Jewish kid that couldn't catch. What was his name fucking? Engelberg no, itelberg was the catcher. Lupus. That kid by the way. Lupus. The kid you're talking about by the way,

Jeffery O'Harely is the guy who grew up to be the watchman, he was Rorschach. He was also the guy from Shutter Island. Oh right, and then also he was the new, short-lived, much hated Freddy Krueger. Yeah. He was great in Watchmen too. He was, that's what brought his career back, that movie.

With that line when he went, yeah, I'm not lucky with you, you're lucky with me. And he just cuts the guy's arms off. Oh buddy, I wanted to ask you about this before we get too far. Do you have, do we remember Norton's wife's song she made? Yes. Oh boy.

Did I ever, what? What are you doing? What's going on? What's happening? Oh no, no, I was just thinking of something that's reminding me of that made me laugh. Okay. What do you think, I'm taking just at their podcast.

It was great. But you know, she made the song where it was like, I live in a penthouse bitch. And that's something that I did. It's so great. And then it reminded me of that American dad. Remember the girl with Max Jets? Don't spit on me!

Remember Max Jets when she goes, he makes this recording studio for his young girl. She goes, I like money. I would never have sex with an old man, unless it was for money. Like the Such On The Nose song. And it just reminded me of that. If you could find hers.

You never heard this? No. Oh, dude. It's pretty nice, it's pretty great. It's only in demo tracks right now, but they're mastering it, but it was great. You showed her mixing it in the background. I live in a penthouse and I fuck Jim North. That doesn't.

You find the other one first, because it's funny how that like. No major injuries. No, I got beat up a lot. I got hospitalized a couple times. Jesus. That's pretty big. For non-sports related, for criminal activities?

Yeah, getting beat up. Oh, it's not sports. Yeah, I got beat up a couple times. The reason my right ankle is so much bigger than my left ankle is that I broke it so many times playing basketball. I think getting into fights is sport. It's not though. It's kind of sportish.

In boxing competitive, the Golden Gloves, sure. Streets, street fights. Were you jumping Hispanic kids? That's not though. It's kind of sportish. And then boxing competitive, like Golden Gloves, sure. Streets, street fights. Stickball. Were you jumping Hispanic kids? That's a sport. No, I never, we played wiffle ball for Boston. We didn't do stickball, we did wiffle ball.

That's like a New York thing. Oh yeah, wiffle ball. New York is stickball. We played wiffle ball too. Wiffle ball was my, wiffle ball was. Set up a chair for the strike zone. Oh, how fun was that? Also loaded bat, loaded bat wiffle ball.

Duct tape? Duct tape, some wet newspaper inside. Good throw down the earth. Because then you could also use it as a good weapon ifle ball. Duck tape. Duck tape, some wet newspaper inside. Could throw that in the air. Because then you could also use it as a good weapon if need be. We were really corking them. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

I broke both my wrists, nose, my nose of Elias is crooked. I got my nose broken five times. Really, why is it so perfect? Is it? Why, you got so competitive with this question. Were you gay with your doctor? I didn't have sports to be competitive, so I'm being competitive sports or parents Jacob did horse jumping

You're in a question I spent a I worked on a horse. I remember summer. So that's what he did Why would else was out playing their sports Jacob was brushing a horse? How'd you break your nose? Somebody punched me oh in hockey. Hockey's a tough sport. That was the summer that Jacob met that deformed boy and touched his face. That's a mask. Oh that is a mask. That wasn't the story of Jacob. Yeah Jacob was a young blind girl who was combing horse's hair. And their parents had to intervene because he was ugly.

Yeah they go Jacob you don't know this girl's ugly. He the pattern said to intervene because he was ugly. Yeah, they go, Jacob, you don't know this girl's ugly. He goes, but her soul's good. And he just kept brushing the horse. She writes poetry. Remember that? Remember before you got back the gift of sight? Did you see the real guy?

The real Rocky Dennis? The real Rocky Dennis? No, I didn't. It's so close to the, you know when they make the movie, it's always a little worse? Of course. Yeah, in the movie, you know when they make the movie it's always like a little worse? You mean Eric Stahls? Of course. Yeah, and the movie, the real guy was exactly the same fucked up craziness.

Oh really? I saw that with the movie Bully that I love. That's the old, where they kill the bully in Florida. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Nick Stahl plays the bully who's like a skinny at the time, particularly a thin, skinny, not scary looking guy at all. Bobby Kent is the character he plays. When you look at stories,

I watched the documentary, he's like the real Bobby Kent. Dude, he's like a, he looks like a bully. He's like a big, scary, muscular fucking guy. It's such a weird, like a... What is that audio? Oh, that's really him? Mother fuck! Jesus!

Yeah, dude, is that... I mean, they should've won an Oscar for makeup. And who's that with? Christine, you dated this guy for a little bit? It's so close to what it was in the movie, right? They had to tone down the teeth. Look, Christine and her boyfriend back in high school. Christine, look how much you look like.

It was true love. It was beach love. That's got to be his mom. That's Christine's mom and dad. I used to rock those bandanas a lot when I was younger too. By the way it was so funny talk about perspective in life and what you should be thankful for. At one point in the movie mask when he's deformed and he walks into the funhouse and he stares in that funhouse mirror it just turns him back into Eric Stoltz who for the first time

ever you go man would it be great to look like Eric Stoltz for the first time ever you go, man, would it be great to play Eric Stoltz for the first time ever in your life? Oh yeah, Eric Stoltz is way better looking than this, thank God. It sucks that God made you a redhead and that. Yeah, and that you're very easily turnable into an exact rendition of Rocky Dennis. He just got axed from Back to the Future. Oh man, that movie hit me on such a level,

not that I was deformed or anything, but I was definitely an insecure kid, nowhere near to what that kid was going through. But the mom in that just reminded me of my mom. Just a weird, weird people around. Bikers. Sometimes biker guys. But my mom's not a biker lady.

Do you know what I mean? She was never like that at all. It was just like friends of friends. And it was like her friend Bonnie hung out with a bunch of biker dudes. So you'd be at barbecues at Bonnie's house and there's bikers every it was such a weird car. Yeah, it was that kind of I I Related to that to movies speak to my mother's her mom was banging too Yeah, two movies without a doubt. She fucked my stepfather first night

They met and if she didn't it was only because another guy she fucked came smashing through our door, and my stepfather had to patch him up and put him in the hospital. That cue was very loud. Your cue's loud. Kristen, your cue went way hard. Insanely loud. Insanely loud was a lot. She went, sorry, ha-ha.

Ha-ha. She's Nelson. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ha-ha. If you had a kid, if your kid came out with that, and you had the option to keep it, or not, would you?

Right. Keep it? Yeah. How old am I? Good question. Now. No. Why?

I'll look at it and kill it. I'll go have it first. I'll do it. If you guys are all too scared to do it, I'll look at it and kill it. I'll go have it first. I'll do it. If you guys are all too scared to do it, I'll do it. You throw it over a hill like 300? I'll grab it by those fucking crazy dinosaur teeth and just tear it in half. So I'm the only one who's going to be honest in this situation.

Yeah. I'm the one who's going to have to do it. Christine, I told you we shouldn't have kids this late in life, but you said you wanted to have a kid and now look, his teeth are on the outside of his mouth like alien Romulus. You wouldn't learn to love the baby, love it? Sure, and the memory.

I'll get tattoos of pictures of him from behind doing this, like praying. From behind. I'm like, look at my little angel. From behind. That I at my little angel from behind killed Good God When I was younger, I mean probably but man you're signing up for I Mean, have you ever seen the tired of somebody taking care of like a full needs like it's it's my grandmother's neighbor across the street had three kids and the last one was Patrick I

My grandmother's neighbor across the street had three kids and the last one was Patrick I may still be even be alive was supposed to not live past like childhood and like this lady just Took care of him. Can't walk never talked never saw never hear. No, he's just Exists and she's made like a life for me You know, I mean you see pictures of him smiling and stuff and it was pretty wild. I think about that with but I mean that was a tired Tired lady. I think about that with Dawn, like if something happens with her. What do you mean? Like if say she fell or something happened

where she was paralyzed and I had to like crane her out of a tub and wipe her butt. Christine can get about three years of that from me and then I'm putting a pillow over her face. You'd kill her? Why would you just let her go to somebody else that might be in that? Oh, yeah Hey Christine take care of their sick Christine hop on Craigslist and see if anybody's in the handicapped play My dad did it for 13 years. Yeah, it's wild most men leave. Did he say it sucked

Oh, it was hard. It was like the worst day You can't even talk about the 90s with my dad, but I mean like 13 years he took care of us. Even the Lou Palminar? Hated grunge. This guy missed grunge completely. The early years of Boy Meets World. Was your mom good? Like was she cool?

Was she kinda? No, she was sick and miserable. I mean her attitude, not her fucking legs. I know her ass. She has. Was she shipper? But I mean, was she nice? Was she like grumpy and fucking angry because she was very needy?

Right. I know this bitch can't move. I have to do everything. Yeah. No, it sounds like a nightmare. But you hang in there for 13 years. You did get the Golden Prize. One of her family members.

Yeah. He got a little cousin as a new wife. Yeah, Mr. Evans! Yeah, keep it in family. You can just drive Dawn up to the tiny house, leave her there, check on her once a month. If Christine's bedridden for like- Throw some fish heads in there. If Christine has to stay in bed with a flu for three weeks, I'm trying to fuck one of

her family members. No, this is how it works. You don't like my family members. I go, you're not wrong. I go, what, your family abides by cowboy rules. Yeah. One family member goes down, someone picks up the pieces. So my uncle says, well, it's in the Bible.

I'm like, okay. I would try to build her like Iron Man legs so she could walk. Is that what you would've done? Yeah. Yeah, I try to. Spending all your time failing, making robot legs. I spend all my time.

You do love gadgets? Yeah, I spend all my time like piecing things together to try to build their legs and experiment on her Hey, Brookstone, dude. Do you have legs for my mom? You got to add a hands in there too Oscar Pistorius legs I would get her Boy, hey, can I deal with the girl? I don't want this shit a mink over here to get the commissions I get little drone hands that would just vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv human being with just a flying saucer, like from the waist down. She was just flying saucer coming out of the thing. You just have to get a helmet and put it on,

then put a real powerful drone on top of the helmet, and then she'd be sitting in the tent, vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv I have some ideas. I know you've been down, it's been 20 years, but I think we can get her back. Call me mad scientist, but I think we can do it. You get little drones on her hands, she could wash herself. Yeah. Right, and then fly her back to her bed. Oh my God, dude.

Christine's robot mom? Yeah. A cyborg mom? I take her robot mom. Yeah, cyborg mom? Mom bot. Honey, sometimes you just have to take the L and accept you're wrong in an argument.

There is, there's a new. Thanks, ma. Pew! There's a new movie that came out with, what's the chick that's married to Machine Gun Kelly? Megan Fox. Megan Fox. I saw that. New movie coming out.

And they're not that far off from this, by the way. No, it's coming. It's not that far off. They actually have a sex doll now, but they're actually, once they add the AI to it. Oh yeah. No, it's coming. It's not that far off. They actually have a sex doll now, but they're actually, once they add the AI to it, and once it happens, so they have this new movie coming out where- Are you using it?

Megan- Oh, God. I was gonna say. The guy's wife is paralyzed, sick, or in the hospital. Terminally ill, gonna die. So this company, and I'm kinda hacking, and this is what I saw from the trailer, comes in with this robot, Megan Fox,

who comes home with him and helps him with his kid. And then she basically is like, I know what you need. And he wants to fucking just plow in this robot. And they're fucking, and it's hot, and her body's smoking. But then- You think machine gun Kelly likes to watch? Then the wife actually becomes better. So the fucking...

The wife has to come home. She's still kind of sick. Sure. And the robot's jealous of the wife. And he's like, listen, she's gonna die anyways. Be with me. I'll take care of a few. I'll do a few. I know you can't do it. I'll do it.

And somehow they figure out to make her pussy feel like a pussy and not robot parts. That's always the thing for me. That's always my question. Always you can't do it. I'll do it and somehow they figure out to make her pussy feel like a pussy and not robot parts That's always the thing for me is my question All you have to do the only thing you have to do for is you have to find out what to do with the cum I'm not worried about you. Don't short her out Well, that's the thing is that the reason why they make a fuck robot cum proof all of our sex toys guys don't have technology and sex women's Vibrators and all this stuff is a hole how many things can you design to go in a hole?

There's only so many things you can design to stick your dick into. They haven't figured out what to do with the cum. Everything we have, we cum and then we have to clean it. They've got to figure out some type of thing where it comes and then it cleans itself. That one guy in Love After Lockup washed his thing in his mother's house dishwasher. Yeah, he can't remember that. I was going to say, we have self-cleaning ovens. Let's use some of that tech. Well, they could come up with a spray.

What was that movie that Black was in that you sprayed it and dog shit went away? The problem with sex tech, trademark term. The problem with sex tech, it's probably already a trademark, but I'm trademarking it right now. The problem with sex tech is, like I said, not geared towards the guys because what you would require to make it Something guys are like this is a must-have thing. It's going to cost

50 to a hundred thousand that you know I mean it's like so far Yeah, you need something to feel as real as possible or well you might as well Just get a flashlight for 40 bucks and just fucking I was gonna suck your hand with a flashlight Put the torso the dolls you know what they have? What are they called? What, fuck dolls? Oh, I guess fuck dolls. Sure.

That's just a torso, right? Or love dolls. Love dolls. Depends on what you're doing. And then build out from there. Bobby takes them out to Alpac's stake house first. Nothing fancy, but it's nice enough. Why didn't you tell him a little bit?

It's good ambiance. They have a doll now. They have an outfit you can put on. Now we're talking. And you put, but they're gonna, they have dolls right now that can actually, you can fuck it and it pumps, it actually, I have a thing, a blow job machine

that has so much technology in it. It has certain porno movies that you can put a mouth in it, a vagina or an asshole. You have this? Yeah, it's at my house. In your laboratory? I didn't make it. It's a sponsor of one of my podcasts.

What the fuck kind of podcasts are you doing? There's certain porn movies that it has the pump to, when you watch the porn, it will fuck you like the girls fucking in the porn. Right. Of course. Gung-ching, gung-ching, gung-ching, gung-ching, gung-ching. That's the problem, but here's the problem.

I'll never use it because I used a flashlight and then I had to pull it and clean it. I don't want a clean cum. Yeah. It's gross. It's Christine's job. Here, wipe your face off. That's why I buy paper towels, bulk.

Yeah, put this in your coffee. Put this in your coffee. She had no idea what we were talking about. She just checked in late. What's everybody talking about, cum? What's that, cum and coffee? I like that. But if they could make a robot,

if they made a robot that was realistic, could talk, what are you talking about? They can't. Did you see the new robot that Boston Diamond just came out with? Buddy, her name's Megan Fox. It's an actress playing a robot. No, not that, that's a movie. The robot that they just came out with? Buddy, her name's Megan Fox. It's an actress playing a robot. No, not that.

That's a movie. The robot that they just came out with, we're right there. Of what was the robot? Boston Dynamics just came out with a. I know, but how are you going to make this thing where you can pick it up and feel like it goes, hoo, I didn't think you were going to. You're only five foot three.

Why do you weigh 412 pounds? A steel skeleton, dude? I don't want to, what if they're jacking me off and then all of a sudden it goes like on the fridge, it starts pulling, yeah, or smoke. Crushes your torso. If you're sex dolls or the things that turn on you, what an awful thing to happen.

Those are the machines that ride, it's just a bunch of open mouths walking with machine guns. They don't get into anything. Fuck you, asshole. Her pussy clamps up on your dick and just rips it off. Dude, when someone knocks on the door like Terminator bunch of open mouths walking with machine guns. They don't get into any of that. Fuck you asshole. Her pussy clamps up on your dick and just rips it off. Dude, when someone knocks on the door like Terminator

and they're like, hey, what are you doing in there? And you see all the possible sunlight, he goes, you want your cock sucked? They don't in the trailer, I saw the same movie Bobby saw the trailer. They do not explain the robot vagina they can't it just looks it's just gonna we're not there yet ex machina was ex machina was so hot yeah but it's cuz it's a person playing a robot lady