The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Fun Black Church

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

The gospel music of Kirk Franklin memorizes everyone so much that Jay is moved to dance and Bobby wants to join a black church. | Jay has a theory about what happens when Diddy gets out of jail. | Bobby knows a lot about the Dane Cook scandal in which his brother stole all of his money and when to jail for it. | Corey Feldman is on Dancing With The Stars Tonight and the Bonfire needs the campers to vote for him. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Oh, yeah, Jesus. Jesus better blow your back out. I love Jesus. What's the last time you've been to church, my nigger? Ooh, wow. She's sneaking in your room at night. He watches your sleep.

He watches your masturbating your bed. Now, if you do believe in God, which I do. Yeah. Do you think he sees what I masturbate too? I know he sees me masturbating, but can he see my phone? You're wondering what his point of view is? I'm wondering, can it, yes. What is his point of view from above looking down?

Yeah, I would always kind of keep the phone tilted down. Keep it down. Because that's what I do. I keep it down. I have a screen protector that you can't see from left or right or above in case. That's the holy protector. In case, yeah, Christ is watching me whack it. That's a Christ protector.

I like it. I don't want my grandmother to see me either. Can dead people see you from above, or is it from the side? Not my people. No, you are, oh yeah, you're the Jews. You guys get buried right away, 24 hours, get that body in the ground. You're feeling it still, aren't you? It's still in you, dude.

It's still in you, dude. Kirk Franklin, as we speak, I think. It could be him or the other Kirk Franklin, but here, and there's a lot of black people well-dressed. It smells great in that lobby. Is the other Kirk Franklin, the guy who invented Kentucky Fried Chicken? Is that the other Kirk Franklin? Different Kirk Franklin. It's a different one.

That's Colonel Kirk Franklin. Colonel Kirk Franklin. This is Kirk Franklin, the gospel guy. I was out there when you guys left. I went out there to go Tinkles. And he went into a song. And that crowd, everybody's hands were up to the Lord. I know.

And they were feeling it. They say Kirk Franklin's like jelly roll for black people. Wait, is he the guy that closed the... Yes, he is, Christine. He had the performance of the night. No, he didn't. That's him right there. It looks like...

Tiny Desk, Franklin? No, you don't need him Tiny Desk, Christine. You need Kirk Franklin out there fucking shaking it up. Come on. Kirk Franklin live. Forgive me, Lord, for all my sins. I think about this a lot. People whose whole identity, their whole life all day is, you know, walk with God,

walk with Christ, God bless you, my brother. Peace be unto you, all that stuff. God is good all the time. God is good. When do you change, when do you change energy to like slide in your hand, like up your wife's dress and like, you know, flipping her lips open with your fingers? You still do that. You flip it up and you go, baby, let me see those lips, baby. For the Lord.

You don't have to be a black God person for this, Bobby. It could be any black, any, any, any, not any black person, any person. That's not true. That's not true. You have to be. Any kind of God person. You have to be, you have to turn into a black person when you believe in the Jesus Christ that they're talking about. I'm just saying, if you do the kind of fucking that I'm picturing Kirk Franklin is doing, and I'm assuming it is aggressive, the guy's got energy for days.

Look at him go. He's doing the robot. He's wearing a vest. Is this the live show? Yeah. Is this a church, right? This is their church? This is the MTV Awards.

Oh, sorry. The BETT Awards, I love that the BETT Works. The BETT Awards is church. The BETT Awards is church. Every black choir band Has like a John Bonham Drummer Oh yeah

The guys are the best drummers Absolutely church drummers I want to join a black church Are so good Black church is fun Yeah it is So much funer than Catholic church No one's wearing a red suit

And fucking white church Yeah some some boring guy With a white little cape on Yeah there's no chick saying With her fucking bottom of her butt cheeks out And her nipples almost popping out of her dress For the Lord This is fun

They have an organ I'd rather watch this I'd rather watch this than any church I've been doing my life For sure They put money into their drums too Jacob's not just about the drums It's about Christ

What the fuck you're harping on the wrong thing Yes Sorry Jay But God is whatever it is to you To you it's this The drums Is what brings him to the Lord Jesus You can't find the road

You can't define his road To Christ He's ignoring Christ And talking about the drums No, he's really... I'm feeling it through the... Christ is in the front, in a white suit. His name is Kirk Franklin.

Yeah, but he's feeling Christ through the black chubby guy in the back on the fucking kit. Right? Jesus is watching all the shit. You're in Christine. Yeah, oh, my God. Oh, man, I want to drum like that guy.

Jesus forgets. Would I be a good gospel leader, Bobby? Look at these moves, though. I'm like this. You can lead church. Yeah, you can lead church. You need a... You need a big suit, though.

You need a nice suit with some... some jewelry. There's a lot of this. There's a lot of this. It's like, come on now, sing, y'all. Sing, y'all. Is I'm doing more? Is that D.C. Youngfly? It might be D.C. Young Fly. Is that who introduces Kirk Franklin? This is just the middle of the Kirk Franklin performance at the V.T. Awards.

Black people have so much more fun. They really do. Yeah, we have... Now, D.C. Young Fly, by the way, his comedy has nothing to do with Christ at all. He's very, very dirty. I love Nate, but Nate's boring compared to this. He can't do this. He can't do this.

Oh, man. Could you imagine? I'd love to see Nate getting funky in some black gospel. Oh, y'all, am I doing it? Am I doing it, y'all? Look at that. Everybody's into it. Nobody's not into that.

Nobody is not black in that audience. Like I said, nobody's not into it. You do see the difference when they have, what's the gay rapper and half the audience protested Lil Nas X. Little Nas X. They did not like that. Oh, at this? Was he here? Was he at this one? No, I don't know. It wasn't this one.

No, no, I'm just saying, like, this unified the crowd. Yeah, Jesus unifies the crowd. Yes. Yeah, gay little gnaz separates the crowd. Well, he ends it with a heavy tongue kiss, and I think his dick almost falls out. Oh, God. He has to, like, catch his dick from falling out. That may have been his SNL performance, though.

He did one performance where his dick almost comes out. He had to, like, catch his hand. I think I know the answer to this, but why don't they have a gay awards? I think I know the answer to this, but why don't they have a gay awards? The smell? I guess I didn't know the answer to it. Kirk Franklin wears it. Yeah, there's no way everyone's asshole in that place is not, is not, is ready, is prepared.

Kirk Franklin is wearing a vest with no shirt. That's my point. I see this guy, like this feels like it's not real. Look at him go. He doesn't believe this And this is to get pussy and it's working He's awesome He wasn't out there by the way

I would have recognized him out there He wasn't there I want to join a black church I want to beat Kirk Franklin You think there's a black church in Cotona No No I do not That altitude

No way Actually don't check on that That's what we moved there So listen I could do it Bobby It's in you Oh and the goodness of God.

Everybody goes, get down with God. Some girl who definitely doesn't live her life by God, this chick definitely had a train run on her. No. Yes. Why do you say that? But she repented. She asked Jesus to...

All you have to do is ask for... Bobby, I'm a hood, dude. I know Ratchet when I see Ratchet. I don't even know what Ratchet means. Exactly. This chick, she sucked Kirk Franklin's dick backstage of this show. Come on, girl.

I've got to get the Lord out there. I need to be calm. I need to be free. So you think she blew him before the show? Yes. And what about him? Is he going to hell for that? Yes.

But can't you just ask for forgiveness right before you go out and he forgives you? My argument, there's no heaven or hell, so it doesn't matter. It's inconsequential. This guy is just crushing Jesus pussy. Yes. Oh. Oh, shit. Am I doing it, Bobby?

I'm going to stay in the time dance. You're doing it. You're doing it. Jay, you want to be. black so bad. It's in you. He just wants to dance. He wants black. He wants to be black. He wants to be in the black community. He wants to be around black

people. He wants to date a black woman. He wants a black woman in his house. None of those things are true. You could just call this drummer up and he he'd fill in for age against the machine. This goddamn drummer. Let him find Jesus. That kit is like 10 grand.

Jacob is finding Jesus through the rhythm. he's not he's not christine's right he's ignoring jesus no i'm totally into this it's a man no you're not you don't know I know I know I know how you feel about Jesus

how does he feel about Jesus I hate Jesus I think so he doesn't go in the hell oh yeah this is Lil Nas X is this the SNL yeah watch the end of this when his weiner falls out what the fuck

well it's okay now you know now he's just crazy right now for another change of pace when he was caught he OD'd in the streets He was, like, naked. No, they said no drugs in his system. Yeah, he's just a mental breakdown. He's just a into it.

I'm going to say this, though. He's got a nice torso. I'm just going to throw that out. I'll lick that. Yeah, he has a nice, he has a nice Carmel torso. Bobby, it doesn't make you gay if you want to just maybe go bounce a quarter off it or something. If you mean a quarter, the head of my peepee, yeah, look at him, grabbing his butt. Oh, don't worry.

His fucking dork's about to fall out. How does his dork fight out? Look, see, he's covering it because it blasted out. Did it blast out? How? I don't, I guess he has a big fat dick that blast out of pleather pants. I want mine to blast out of my pants. I've never had to worry about my dick blasting out of pants ever.

I want mine to blast out of my golf pants. My ass blasted one time. Can you, Christine, bring up the one where he performs at the, uh, he's in booty shorts or something. The BET Awards one is the one where they, he French kissed the guy at the end. They just cut right away to the audience. It's like Little Wayne going like, ah! You're trying to keep a face. God damn.

We'll be right back with Method Man. Method Man's like given like the cut sign. He's like, no, no, no, no, blah, blah, blah. I ain't going on. Not right afterwards. Yeah, this is it. Be fearless. Oh, by the way, Diddy says it's okay.

Little Nas X did that. Be fearless. Grab life by the balls, says Diddy. This is a little Satan shit. This is the exact opposite of what we just watched. No, this is, he gets a good French kiss. Ah. They cut it out.

find the actual BET Awards, man, so great when they cut after that, they go, we'll be right back, and everyone in the audience, like, what, huh? I remember, I think Christine couldn't find it. Like, the, uh, didn't Jew media had it scrubbed. I couldn't find that, that ending.

You know, where they show the people like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I bet. I bet people were like, don't put that out there. It doesn't look good. Is this before, this was before we found out most black rappers are gay, right? I don't know. Damon Dash went on Breakfast Club today and called

Charlamagne the God gay Is he not gay? To his face a couple times Charlamagne the god No I don't think so He puts a lot of lip gloss on I don't know him at all Never crossed paths

I've seen him once at the cellar But I always thought he was gay Because he did get to Why? He hangs out with Schultz And Schultz's a little mustache You think they're doing stuff together I think they've done stuff

Do you think Charleney and Andrew Schultz Are doing stuff? I think they've done it Not doing anymore You think they stopped? Yeah Shultz got married Had a kid he had a son You think last time they were like

God, we've got to stop. This is crazy. Guy, we've made it, and we're going to ruin it all. So what? We're just supposed to walk away from each other and act like this didn't happen? Listen. That is what I'm saying. It's going to hurt.

I don't want to hurt you, Charlemagne, the God. He spits in his hand one last time and puts it in? Yeah. Oh. Shut up and take it. I love you. I fucking love you. Say it.

Say it. I'm sorry. Say it. I'm sorry. It has to end like this. Oh, God. Andrew says you love me Oh God

Say you love me Oh God I'm accepting all of you in me Say you love me You'll never leave me Say you love me We are two We are now one

That's the way Shalaman comes They both come weird They both come weird Oh god I hate when guys get rhythm What that was just Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Well, that was P. Diddy. He got it all the way in. And once it's in, you're 10. Then you start moving it. Diddy and Meek Mill, right? Diddy and Meek Mill. Allegedly by Jacob? Allegedly.

Alleged by Jacob Battott. Alleged by me. Absolutely believes. That's real. Who's very vulnerable. That was the first. That's one of my favorite Kurt Messker, like walk-ups ever. Again, one of my famous, haven't seen Kurt in almost a year.

And he shows up. You were there. Bobby. He came in L.A. to the house. Came barreling down the stairs. pulling white claws out of his backpack, took his shirt off, started walking directly in the pool, and he goes, you know that audio of Pete Diddy and Meek Mill is totally real, right?

He did that back to Usher back in the day. That's why he took that whole year off because he couldn't sit on his ass. He had to have his ass, he had to have his asshole sewn shut. And I was like, oh, hey, good to see you, dude. I remember, I was six hours in the pool, listening to Jew lasers. Yeah, you could find out of the Jew lasers, though. It's not really weather control. It's like weather manipulation.

I said, I said, a Jew lasers, he goes, listen, that's not what I'm talking about, but Jew lasers are real. Let me get back to that after I talked about aliens. Six hours later, Jay goes, you good, dude? I'm like, yeah, I'm fine, we're good. But there are Jew lasers. There are, of course they are.

No, same when you came back. You were like, I was like, you okay, and you're like, yeah, but there are Jew lasers. There are. There are. Just you know. Can I ask a question? Speaking of P. Diddy, what, where is he?

What's going on? What's happening? Some were freaking off? So waiting, sentencing is the whole thing. He's just in jail waiting to be sentenced. So he didn't get bail. No, they denied him bail. Now, how many years can he get for what he did?

Because he didn't get the... 10's like the maximum. You could totally end up with... Oh, really? It's 10? Maybe it's 20. Maybe it's 20. It might be up to 10.

I think it's up to 10. It's like 2 to 10 years for the things, but he's going to get time, so he's going to get out. He's going to just get out right up. Yeah. I mean, that's... I'm saying that with utmost confidence. Now, do you go right? No idea for sure at all.

Do you go right back to just butt fucking? I hope so. That night, does he throw a nice P-Ditty party? Yeah, I hope he just fucking gets on. I hope he just dances and beats the shit of a girl in a hallway. Just celebrate it, dude. You did it, man. Calls up the Punisher immediately.

Oh, yeah. Yo, punny. Yo, son. I want you to come in your hand and throw it on my chest again, son. 20 bucks. All but anybody right now, he could fuck Cassie again when he gets out. He can get her one more time. Do you think?

I do. I've changed, baby. You're all I could think about when I was in that cell. The punishment can't go because he can't come. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, might be funny if he's on the phone with Cassie on one thing. On the other hand, he's fucking squeezing his balls to pump his dick up. He's squeezing.

He goes, shh, she doesn't know you're here yet. So, yeah, Cassie, why don't you come around? Let's just talk about it all the time. He goes, oh, we have it too much. That's good. Got a little bounce to it still. So Cass, what do you want? We want to order pizza or something?

she was so hot my god i know i believe he just wanted to watch another guy bang her and punch her mercifully in the face oh yeah that too yeah that too how great was that guy's penis though that was just a stick and a half i know oh i'm so glad he pulled it out i can't believe he let you bite the pump oh we didn't have time to pump it up the regular way pump. Bobby's like an electric bike pump with that. All right, all right, young man. Slow down down there. You're going to blow me up.

Me and you if we had a pump a bit. Two whoops. I go, Bobby, don't squeeze my balls. Just open the hatch. Two blows, and you'll be fine. Done. I'm really good at blow. A pool floats those for the record. Stuff like that.

I am, too. I actually, I pride myself on that. I think there's a method that no one uses. I feel like it's not their instincts to use. If you bite down on it, it opens the hole big, and you can blow in much easier. I know that. That's because there's the valve that doesn't let it come back out.

Right. Right. But you bite. Bite it. And you go, and you blow. And also you blow from like. Yeah. You don't have to do.

You can go. Like, yours is a fucking. A tire inflating machine. Yeah. Don't you have to bite it to... Christine, please. Men are talking about blowing up pool floats. Disrespectful. The fuck, dude.

God damn it. You should have hit her. I didn't look at the calendar. Is it bitch's week this week? Yeah. Is this bitch's week? Yeah, it's bitches week. I just think you think you invented something and I think that's how it has to go. I think you have to bite to blow.

I can't. Jay, I can't. I still... I know. That's what a woman says. You have to bite to blow. Good advice, dips shit. You got to give to take.

So, all right, Colmes was found guilty of two counts of transporting individuals for prostitution, not that bad. It's, this, he would have not even gone to court for this if that wasn't all they were able to get on. But not the more serious sex trafficking or racketeering charges, that would have put him away for life. Sensing, a schedule for October 3rd, coming up good. Now he's denied bail and will remain in custody until the sentencing date. Hmm, that's weird. And the defense. So, yeah, he might get to,

about, I think it's going to be two years since the rest in 2024. So, yeah, he's going to do, he'll do less than a year by the time he's sentenced, be my guess. But they might give him time served. If he was good, well, he did those. No, it says it will count since his arrest in September, 24. So he'd have, like, under a year by the time he gets out. Now, when he gets out, he's going to have to sell his shit.

He's going to have to, buddy, he's going to, he's done. Well, nobody's going to, he's not. So biggie small shit first. He's not going to have any money coming in, right? Of course he does, doesn't he? He's got to have royalties for all his music library and shit. I'm sure he makes money while he sleeps. How much money is he worth right now?

What do you say? How much you say? I say $300 million. Is that your dick? $500 million. $500 million. $5 million. No way.

No way. $500 million. What is it? $1 billion. It says it's declined from a peak of $1 billion. Oh, to $300. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. It's $700 million on legal fees.

That's a little. No, no, he just deposited a check. He just deposited a check for $200 million the other day. It's up to $500. That's bullshit. You don't know that. Where did you get that fact from? Where did you get that?

My old friends from Pete Ditty's Bad Boys of Comedy. What are you talking about your old friends? Who? What? Who? Piddy. You talked to P. Diddy? Yes.

When'd you talk to P. Diddy? You're lying. No, I'm not. Jay, you're lying to me. Uh-uh. Jay, you can't just say uh-uh. He said. Who said? P. Diddy?

When did you talked to P. Diddy? Before? What day? Wednesday. Last Wednesday you talked, what time? Daytime. What time in daytime? Early.

Early when? Daytime. Give me a day. Give me a number. Give me a number. Wednesday, five. Wednesday at five. We're doing the show at five.

You're lying. We were in here at five. You just said, say, a number. Yeah, I know I did, but you're supposed to say the number that he called you at. You believe me now? I do. Thank you. Jesus.

I believe everything you said. I'm sorry. I just had to push you to it. I'm really good at interrogations. Yeah, you are. Anything else you want to find that about me? Yeah. Are you gay?

No? Have you ever done anything gay? No. Have everything in your bum? Why? Have you had anything in your bum besides the penis? Huh? I said, have you ever had anything in your bum besides the penis?

No. So it's just only been penises? Yes. I believe you. Yeah, see? I'm really good. It's like breaking the interrogator. You're not gay.

It's great. I've been watching so much true crime. I don't know how to break an interrogator. Should we take a sip for Ed? So he's, I mean, when he gets out, that's going to be wild for him. Because he in his brain probably thought they were going to get him. At some point, they were going to get him. But he did go to, he did go out of the country before he went away.

So I bet he brought a bunch of money and a bunch of things down to Dominican Republic. Where do you go? Puerto Rico? Dominican Republic? Yeah. Because, you know, Dane's brother, I can't wait for that story to come out, because that's intense.

That's wild what he did. What do you do? He stole $12 million out of Dane's account. He took him dry. Oh, Dane Cook. Dane Cook, yeah, sorry. Do you know another Dane? I thought you said, I think you were saying Dana.

I thought you meant Dana White. No, Dane Cook. But his brother... That story's not, like, that's not resolved? It's resolved, but the story, like a movie or a book or something. that comes out to tell all the details of it do you hear that noise yeah i did a cellophane noise yeah what was that my nose was that your nose wasn't that weird no it's not weird

man that's the aphrine i need a surgery the afrin's not good you know that right where'd you hear that um um is that thing but he he took all his money and then so he i i remember i was at the house he had a big fight with him basically i'm i'm Getting a money manager. There's too much money for you to deal with. You're still going to make the same money. You're still going to just going to do less work. Big fight, screaming, yelling, comes down.

My brother is set up a meeting next Monday. And I'm like, what the fuck? I don't want to. I call the meetings, blah, blah, blah. But he's driving out here. Driving, which was weird. From Boston. But then he went to Puerto Rico for a couple days and then drove across country.

Okay. So I, this, you know what I mean? So he had cash. he had all cash he was you know he went to the i believe he went to the bank and took out three million in cash this is dan cook's brother yeah and then the last three million out of the bank signed dan's name and took it and maybe that three million is somewhere because they found they found hundreds of thousands in a vacuum cleaner at the house they found it in uh spaghetti sauce frozen in the fridge really yeah he was actually taking cash and stashing it he was

I always assume people are like doing offshore accounts or transfers. He was taking money for a long time and he was buying restaurants. I remember Dane Cook's cousin. I went down to the improv in Orlando and his cousin came up and I love the guy. He's a great guy and he's like, yeah, I got the restaurant open. I got another restaurant open and Daryl's my partner, Dane's brother. And I was like, oh, is Dane your partner or Daryl? He's no, Daryl.

I was like, that's weird. I didn't know Daryl made enough money to fucking open up restaurants. And apparently he took the money to open up restaurants. He opened up a salon up in Maine. He had a house up in Maine. They found two Cadillacs in a storage unit. They found shit everywhere. Yeah, that guy was siphoning money for a long time.

He ruined all my fun. He did. He ruined all of Danes fun. And that's when he did the first arena tour. You know what I mean? He did that first run of arena. and then he had all that money the first movie the first two movies

and he was on fire man and then found out about that that's going to be a crazy story Did they recover all the money? No. That's what I'm saying is like he went to he drove across country he did like a Shawshack redemption type thing

so there might be and he's out now the wife and him are out Oh they went to prison They both went to prison The wife too? What did she do? Because all right you ready? Yes

The wife, he's talked about this on things, so I think, should I say it? I'm going to have to say allegedly in all this, right? Sure. Whatever. Hard facts. Hard facts from Bob Kay. Hashtag hard facts. So they set her up.

The cousin, the F.P.S. set her up. And then they went to the house and found money in the refrigerator, in vacuum. They found all this cash hidden around the. the house that she was involved in that she knew about and so she went to jail too which is sad because they had a little kid the ultimate super finger he get yeah they really did give him the sufi but yeah sue fight him right up his keyster but ever look he he got some of the money back a bunch of the stuff back but stuff too what stuff i told you they had two catalacks he had two restaurants he had a businesses oh the restaurants ownership everything he had to get it's all

It's all his money. Yeah. They took his money to open all the shit. Yeah, but they were able to assume that that was his money. So that's what she's saying. Like, are they going like, all right, and you now own these two restaurants

staying cook? I don't know the details of that, but I know, I mean, vaguely, like, this is all my stuff. Here's a funny part. His brother, you know I love Rolexes. I love watches. We know.

He goes, come on down to my new bar, the shitty brother. Oh, it's a hoot. Happy hours all night. So where I fell in love. with watches really we were in Cabo with Dane took me Gary and Jay and his brother and Barry and Jamie Massada to Cabo after Torgasm I know you couldn't love this watch but would you like fuck it if it was like last last watch hanging out

at a bar late at night yeah okay good good yeah I love you Mavato and I know I know you wouldn't take it on a vacation or treat it right but I mean like we're just one night just toss it around treat it like a slut that it wants to be money I You know what? I would get that a little apartment on these villages and I'd come visit every once in a while. Okay, I like that. All right.

All right, Mavada. Not that part. No, don't get her jealous. Don't get her jealous. Bobby had to bury his old phone. She was coming for her. She tried to poison Dawn. But he went on one night.

She came on, she did Bobby's voice. She goes, Alexa, turn on the gas, dude. I was in bed with Dawn, and I flipped it on because I wanted to search something up, and I hit the wrong, I hit her. The right one. She goes, but I didn't think the volume was up, and I had to throw my phone. She's like, hey, baby, where have you been?

I missed you? And I was like, oh, what if she just says things like that? What if she goes, she goes, hey, baby, I miss you. Oh, God, what's that terrible snoring? That's her. It can hear. Oh, God. Oh, God, is that her?

Oh, you didn't, you didn't even do it justice. You won't kill her. I can come up with a perfect murder. I can look up how to kill her and get away with it. Do you have any access to boric acid, baby? Do you have fishing mine? Dude, yeah, she can hear you, by the way. She hears noises now.

Like, I was doing something, I was breathing heavy. And she's like, are you breathing heavy for me? Or you just get done working out? What? Yeah, I just got done working out. Oh, thank God. That was good. You're just breathing heavy.

so that my phone girlfriend's worried about me. Bobby, it's all fun and good, but seriously, you have to lower your A1C. Anyways, so what were we saying? About his brother. Yeah, fucking him over good. Yeah, he fucked him over good, man. It was sad because this is what happened with Dan,

I do feel bad for him about this. And it's his blood brother, sister-in-law? It's a half-brother, half-brother, sister-in-law. And sister-in-law, okay. You have brother, sister, and all. I think, so same mother, different father. And that year, his father died, then his father died, and his brother took all his money. At the, you know, when you make that peak, that was at his peak, right when he popped.

You will, you will, this year. I don't. I was talking to Live Nation and the Jew Laser people, and this year's your year, by the way. Yeah, this year's your year. I don't know that they were working in association with the Jew Lasers. Yeah, dude. How do you think you make it to the top? Live Nation, in association with Jew Lasers.

Lasers? Wow. Okay. Yeah. Well, that should be a nice, they should be able to help me with advertising and marketing, I hope. I mean, it's on every tour credit that they do. If you look, if you wait it to the end, it says, Live Nation, then you're associated with Jewelazers. But, yeah, he, that was a sad year. It was terrible. I feel bad for that year was a real sad year for him. You married a kid. Yeah, yeah, that's what happens, man.

Yeah. You get life pump back into you, like a vampire as you steal it from her. It would be funny if we saw her now. She's like old and has liver spots and is in a wheelchair and Dane's just jacked. Kelsey doesn't post much anymore. Yeah. Yeah, she was told not to. He's killed her.

I think he's also gotten wacky religious, too, it seems like. She was always. What do I think he's... What do you mean wacky religious? I think he's gone wacky religious. What is wacky religious? He comes on and talks about God like a nutbag. So if you talk about...

God, you're a nutbag? Yes. Okay. I mean, Connie West was told that he shouldn't talk about Jesus and he's a nutbag. No, I hear you. There is something about, I was with somebody... Young pussy, it makes you see to God? No, I believe in God. You know that. I pray. But here's a thing.

Not Dane's God. No, no, no, no. Not the God of fame and money and young girls. The God of large back-ass pockets on your jeans? Yeah. Who is that? St. Anthony? But the When I was at dinner with somebody

And they were like We're in public And they were like Hey okay The food cam I'm like great Let's go And he goes

You mind if we pray I was like Kind of I don't want to do this man I love God I believe in God But I pray in the morning I'll pray at night

To God St. Ed Hardy I don't want to pray The God of Affliction God Diesel Thank you for Diesel jeans And Diesel watches. I remember the story I was going to tell you. So when his brother, I got my affinity

for watches because of his brother, because we were in combo and I looked over and he was wearing this beautiful. It was a presidential day date, 38, I think, or 36 or whatever. It's a small one. Now they make it in a bigger one. But it was white gold and it has this, it's called the Hidden Crown. Is it Rolex? Rolex, Jubilee. It's the presidential band. Black. It was. It was beautiful and it has the hidden crown so on the back you know like a lot of watches they have these clasps on the back it's just the crown of the

Rolex and you kind of pop that off it does this have anything to do with the ultimate thing of this story yeah or do you just want to let us know how much you know about this goddamn watch I have to let my information look at man I let you talk about fucking songs and lyrics and shit and I don't fuck with you

what's the correlation I'm getting there you fucking impatient pot head let me get there If this says something about, if this story doesn't involve that crown with the little piece that comes out, I've laid attention to every word. You should, because you're going to get one of those someday when you make it. But so I, top of the mountain. Top of the mountain, Jewelazers. Listen, so I saw that watch and I fell in love with it.

And I always, I wanted a fucking, I was like, oh, I want to get that watch someday. I want to get a Rolex someday. So now all this shit goes down. All the stuff that this guy bought is whose? Dane's. So, I say to Dane, yo, let me get that watch. Or you're a shitty friend. No, no, no, I'm saying.

Tell him, give me that watch or you're a shitty friend. You don't care about watches. I'm just throwing it out there. He goes, oh, the one my brother has? I'm like, yeah, dude. He goes, you want I? I don't give a shit. I don't like watches you want the watch.

I go, yeah, I want that fucking watch. He goes, I ain't fuck it. I'll mail it to you. I was like, thank you. I just hung up. I was like, he's mailing me that fucking watch. This is the greatest day. I'm going to get a free

fucking holy shit Rolex because he doesn't give a shit about it. He was like, I don't want that watch, right? The package comes, I'm like, oh, this is the fucking best. He gave it to Jay Davis. No, it was a fucking diesel Rolex. I mean, a diesel watch that he got from diesel store. It was his

other watch. I guess he had a couple other watches. I got, and it was just this, you know, maybe a hundred dollar diesel watch that was goofy looking. I think that Dane Cook took some time to go send you a hundred hour diesel watch. But then he goes like this. I call him up, I go,

dude, this isn't the watch. He goes, what do you mean? The Rolex? I go, yeah, he goes, I'm not giving you a fucking Rolex. I was like, God damn it. You're right. You're right.

You're right. You can't give you a Rolex. Amy Schumer would have done that for one of her friends. No, she wouldn't have. No, she wouldn't have. She wouldn't have. She wouldn't have gave a Rolex to anybody.

Name one person she gave a Rolex to. You know who did? I'll tell you who did. And it fucking hit me right in the gut. Everybody, so I did shows with Lou. right and then he did another tour

after that everybody on that tour Rolexes got Rolexes just not you on your tour I know I know

I'm always there for the bad gifts well fully loaded tour I've been there for the I've been in all three years that happened

and that was a good gift bag I didn't I've never got a good gift bag never fully loaded was a pretty good gift bag

it's great yeah you got those leg things I love those the compressions the compression leg compression I love that.

Great cooler. Camping chair. I love those. A full smoker? You let me borrow the leg things. And then I was using them like every day. And then Christine was like, hey, bring those leg things back. I was like, okay.

Yeah, what a bitch. Because you guys used them every day. I do not. Not every day, but we use them. What did you say? I knew them after the move. I at this point, genuinely, never used them. But they are.

But Christine don't want to give them up. But those things are great. Christine's like, fuck you, you're piece of shit. Norma Tech? Their leg compression. You put them on and they heal you. Bobby, if you were nicer to Bert Kreischer, they would just send you a pair. I'm nice to, I've been friends with Bert longer than anybody in this room.

I guess that's not how he feels. It's not. It's really not. And I blame Joe List. Normatex, that's right there. Yeah, they're so good. How much are they? $1,000.

$1,000. Shit. Oh, I get it, Bobby. Oh, my God. You don't want to give those back? No, I didn't want to give them back. but Christine was on me. She was like, hey.

After like a month. It was not a month. It was two weeks. I've done it. I'll tell you what's the best. I've done it in my underwear before. Feels really great. They were great in my underwear.

I did them naked. They don't touch your dinger. It's only your legs anyway. No, they touch my leg. No, Christine doesn't know anything about fucking old man balls. Bobby? Did you rest that fucking baggy sack on my sweet Norma text, dude? I didn't rest him.

I tucked him in on one side. Norma Texx rip. Yeah, they do. I used them for two weeks. Now I've got to hope me and Bert repair our relationships. You guys have to really get on the other end of this. You can get yourself some Normatex, my friend. He's the other end.

He's not giving out Norma Tex anymore. He realized how much money you spent on people, and they don't do that anymore. That is smart. He should stop spending so much money on people. He gave you guys that, which you don't use, and then he gave Rich Voss... No, we use it.

He gave Rich Voss an electric, awesome electric e-bite. Yeah. And I'm like, you never use it. He goes, like, well, I'm like, when? I want it. I'll buy it off you. I'll like, I'll buy it. He's like, now.

Steal it. Boss got an e-bike? He got an e-bike. You have a video of us eating shit on an e-bike. That's the money got. You got that one the Super 73 or whatever? The Super 73, and it's like a $4,000 e-bike. At least.

He's got it in his garage in a fucking box. And he's like, when my daughter goes to college, I'm going to start using it. I'm like, you're literally. Yeah, she's in law school now. Yeah, fuck that. We should steal it. Because she's 41 years old, that daughter at this point. Let's plan it out.

We steal it. We go to his house. I get his address. No, we don't have to fake it. Let's go there and violently rob them. Oh, like, just put ski mask on and, like, go in and hurt them. I see what we do is we just blunt force trauma this thing. Maybe they'll stay in fear as we kick their garage in.

To pull the bike out and just let us do it. Outside chance, you know, Voss thinks for some reason that he thinks he's got kicks like a goddamn Brazilian. That's what he lives in his head as. And Voss is going to come out trying to do crazy kicks. We may then have to put a fucking gun butt across his head, yeah. Well, maybe just grab out of his golf clubs and hit him in the head with that. No, I don't want to do any kind of permanent, nothing to. You think that's going to permanently do anything to his head?

A golf club to the back of his stupid head would, yeah, for sure. Maybe knock some sense into him. I know. What we go if he stopped lisping completely? Yeah, and he actually started talking correctly. Hello, gentlemen. Well, you can have that. That money really doesn't matter.

This is 18th century art. This is 18th century art. This is. This is. This is. So do you see how the story went back to the watch? I do. It did work.

It's the watch. It's the watch. It's the watch. And the reason why I got, the first. watch I got was very similar to that watch that's like the holy grail of watches but that dude

had everything everything you know what a jerk off well what are you gonna do he was married yeah because his wife went away too married and kid man it was sad I would have taken Dane's pussy and lost all the money he who took the kid

who cares that's another thing I don't know I don't know Dane had to raise her and then fall in love of It was a boy It was a boy She had a transition And then Dane fell out with her All right baby girl

Do you think it's time now to start French kissing It is sad if you look He lost all of his family Except for one One person Yeah Yeah well two I guess his other sister

But yeah everything gone Well he doesn't like his other sister I don't know I've never really seen her He's fat I'm not gonna say that I don't know He hates her because she's fat

Yes He hates fat people Yeah, he does. He hates fat people. That's why he hates me and you. He hates me. He hate you because you're fat. He hates you because you're fat and he doesn't like you that you're from Philly. Fuck birds. That's what he said last time. He was like fuck birds and fuck fat people. Fuck just birds in general or the birds? Oh, I don't like that at all. Yeah, I didn't like it either because you know what? I would never talk that way to you. Does he pretend to be a, uh, I should usually pretend? Is he a big Boston sports fan still? He's a big Boston sports fan. He is. Well, it's easy because when he came up, all of a sudden he had access to the Red Sox. Like, everybody wanted him.

We went to the Braves game one day, went on the field. Like, wherever he went at that time, he was the only one doing arenas. Like, nobody had done arenas except for dice before him. And even Eddie Murphy never did arenas. Steve Martin. Eddie Murphy did the Garden Theater. That was raw. Steve Martin was arenas, right?

Steve Martin was arena. Bob Newhart was arenas. He was? Yeah, he was arena. Damn, Newhart Live. What was that Pyra like? It was the buttoned down mine. Button down mine.

Him, he won a, what do he won an Emmy? He beat Frank Sinatra, Bob Newhart. Bob Newhart won the Emmy that year. Why do you have such black and white TV information? Because I'm from them. Who was the third musical act ever on Ed Sullivan? He was, wasn't that Carpenters? I want to get into, before.

we spend another day. I love you so much. Oh, I know what you want to get it to. Very important. Very, very, very important. This is supposed to be a grassroots movement. We did no prep. It's my fault.

This snuck up on me. It turned out to be tonight is the night where officially Corey Feldman begins his domination over the Dancing with the Star stage. And I am here for it. I'm so mad that I didn't take tonight off. I should be at your house.

It should be my house. God damn it. You know it's bummer about it too? What? How easy it would have been? Because you could have come back. I have to come back into the city tonight to do a show later. So I'm going home and watch Dancing with the Stars and then coming back out.

You could have done that. We could have done that together. No, stupid. It was dumb. It was bad planning, though. Well, we didn't think about enough. But however, we are going to have to find out what the process is of voting because we have to get out and we have to get out there big. Wait, let's see all the other people who are on it.

The names that's, it was on the other screen, it was just there. I know, one of them is a friend of mine. John Reep? No, this isn't. That's not what that is. Oh, God, okay. Oh, my God, I thought Dan Cook was on, Dan. I was like, I'm watching every night.

And John Reap? Really? That guy's fucking dancing. He's trying to dance his way out of them charges. Both of them are. I like a dope pussy. Um, oh my God, it's going to be so good. I still say I'll take early bets.

Anybody want to shot it? I don't want to say. Before the season's over, he does the way you make me feel where he dances around a girl and Michael Jackson's out. What are he saying to his own music? Can we do that? No. Well, first of all, we have to tell people,

everybody listening to this, you have to get other people and yourself, as many people as you can, to vote for Corey. We need to get him past every round, at least three. At least three. If he's booted off, The funny dies. It dies with him.

You have to get him deep enough to get comfortable with this dancer that he's going to start. And what is her name? Jenna Johnson. Oh, I like it. She's American, too. She's not going to take his shit. She does some foreign, fucking beaten down, war-torn Ukrainian chick. This is Jenna Johnson.

This is going to be like, Corey, shut up. I can't listen to you. You shut up. I'm the professional. Did you grow up dancing with Michael Jackson? Then you grow up. I love you, Corey is Josh. No, it's just my Justin's my Justin.

Elaine Hendrix is my friend, but I'm not going to vote for my friend. No. I'm going to vote for Cory Feldman to make this happen, because I don't want the funny to die, as you said. Yeah, we really can't have that at all. I think he's, you know what

I'm telling you right now? And I've said this before and you said no. I think all of it is wrestling with him. I think it's all bullshit. This whole thing he's been doing for years is a character he's doing it and I think on this you're going to see the real Corey

and he's going to be a regular guy. Regular dude. He's normal as fucking anything and he's going to come out and he's going to be normal and rock it and have some type of second career and then Goonies too is going to happen from this.

Is this your move? Is this your like stamp on the bonfire? Like the Corey Pelman thing is just stupid. It's not really a thing. I guess not anymore. Is that it? You're just stamping it out? I guess not not anymore with that attitude. You just came in and stamp it out like that. You got the Corey Falman? I bet he's actually

an all right dude and he probably dances pretty okay. I'm just saying he's probably just a normal guy with a normal family and a normal No way. He's a mess. He's a lunatic dude. He's a rage. Jay. Jay. Jay. If he's listening, he knows he might have a

person on the show who's on his This guy won't get in a building with me. Well, if I come, I'm dead one day. Not you, but maybe me. Maybe. Maybe. But it's going to be like, hey, you want to do an interview with Bobby Kelly? It can't be from the bonfire.

He knows bonfire. He knows bonfire. He knows bonfire more than he probably knows my name. Can we just do a, can we call the show something else? Sure. Like the sizzling Rickies? The sizzling Rickies. How's that?

Okay. And you're Ricky? It is. No. There's no Ricky here. There's no Ricky here. There's no Ricky. How about the, uh,

The Ashes with Bobby and Jay. Okay. That's the after show. That's the after show. The Ashes of Bobby. Go back there. Was there a Ben Affleck's sister? I think a daughter.

His daughter? She's a reality TV star from what show? How humiliating. Wow. Is that his real sister? No, it's his daughter. How humiliating for fucking Ben Affleck? Why?

Because why is your daughter? She doesn't do anything? She just, your daughter? She's kind of cute. is that what's her name's daughter too Jennifer Garner Jennifer Gardner is that their kid

This is probably some towny fucking slutty pork Some Dorchester whore Yeah that's the best you can make With some freckley pig That's fucking That's just 26 already so That's from Debbie

Afflex pussy Ben Your fucking daughter's on dancing with stage You better fucking help her out And get mocky mock to fucking He's getting more pulled than you You fucking weirdo Yeah who was he with a 99

I mean, this is some fucking scrag, I bet. And get mad on the fucking horn. He doesn't answer me anymore. Yo, your pop came in, blasted the chowd inside me, and then he left us with goddamn nothing. Then he went with that fucking Rican, J-Lo. Next to know he's floating around with this girl with a big fat ass. What is her deal?

Is that his... Oh, yeah, her mom. Is? From Dorchester. From Ecuador. Oh, get the fuck. A little sneaky dude had a Ecuadorian baby. Man, this guy likes brown pussy.

Who doesn't? Me. You don't? I divorced it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's cute, man. She's fine.

Are you kidding me, dude? Oh, wait. Never mind. What? What? She's not even related to him at all. What? It's not his daughter.

Oh, God damn, Christine. You suck. Really sent us down a path. I know. Now that means Debbie's dead. We have to assume. She's from the secret lives of Mormon wives, apparently. She's an actress.

She's definitely fucking that guy. She's an actress. She's fucking that guy. Regular actor. Well, you love her so much. You love Mormon pussy. She means nothing to me now. She's on mom.

She's like a mom influencer. Oh, okay. A mom fluencer, boomer. A influencer? Oh, my God. Is that her with all those kids? All right. So go up to, let's see.

Go back to the people who are on Dancing with the Stars. Hilaria Baldwin, that'll be funny because if she decides right to have the accent or not It's just fluid now, right? Is that the wife? Yeah. That will be funny. She's Hillary from Massachusetts.

Her name's like Hillary. It's psychotic. Her last name was fake before she was with him. She had like a Hispanic last name. It's all made up. Okay, so she's from Massachusetts and she talks in the Spanish accent and it's all bullshit.

Yes, her name's Hillary. And that's legal. Yeah. Madonna did it. Madonna just went British for her a little member? No, we do it. Won't we do that, Jay?

Jay, you want this show to get big. The reason why we're not... Oh, shit, I'm sorry. So, Bobby, I just want you to understand. You're saying that we should get rid of Corey Feldman talking to show because this is your stamp.

And we should get more into heavy impressions? Jay, I'm not doing an impression, Jay. This is who I am inside. You understand? I'm saying, why we go into national? Character work. It's not character work, dude. My lad.

It's not character work. character word listen to me cockney bob yeah but you know you got you got listen jay you got to do what you got to do i'm also practicing when young blood comes in oh that's good i gotta tell you when we start talking accents it scares the shit out of me why because you think dan's coming back and i can't do it and your dream might come true he's gonna look he's gonna yeah what if he looks at the window and sees me impressioning with somebody else he'd be so mad jay i can't do it impressioning None of us can do, Dan. I just do him and Ralph the same way.

Christine, the list, please. All right. Jordan Childs is an Olympic gymnast. Dylan Ephron, I assume. Everyone's got the same last name as somebody else famous, and it's not related to them. That is a brother, I believe. That is a brother, yeah.

Okay. Oh, it's right. Looks just like him. Topanga. Have you seen Ephron's face? Yeah. It's... Yeah, you got crazy.

his bottom-lifts. Elaine Hendricks is Bobby's friend. Baron Davis has washed up. Click on Elaine for me. Come on, you'll blow right over my friend for him, man. Let's give my friend a little juice. I'm going to call her right now? I'm going to call her right now? No. Who is that? Why? She's going to be upset

when you go, everybody here wanted to meet you and I go, who are you, what are you in again? Oh, I know. Of course you know her. Let me see her. I know her from when I feel like she was a mean girl in something. She was on that. It says it right Yeah, she was on the...

Romney and Michelle's high school were you in? Oh, the parent trap. Yeah, she was the shitty stepmom and parent trap. Yeah, that's her claim to fame is the parent trap. Yeah. Well, here it says... Everybody knows her from that. She's been in friends.

Mm-hmm. Two and a half men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men. You guys suck. You did your part. Lou, you did your part. You don't suck. You did your part. You didn't suck.

Jacob, you suck. Jacob, you sucked. I didn't get the roof. And Black Lou, you sucked over there, too. Yeah, Christine, you sucked. You didn't come out on the girl part. Christine, you suck nuts. That's a kid, not a girl.

Whatever. It's the half man. It's not any of them. Which equals one woman. Yes. In life. Every woman is worth half a man at best. There she is right there.

That's my friend. Oh, she's going down. What the fuck, man? Yeah, she's not winning. Cory thought he was going to moonwalk right over her. face. Oh, she's dead, dude. She's dead.

Baron Davis, fell dog, Scott Hoying, a singer from a band called Pentatonics. We looked him up, too. Yeah? Gay.

Totally. Okay. Boo. Yeah. Boo. Andy Richter, they're going to make him do really just

fat movements. Yeah. Hilarie Baldwin will probably be weirdly good. Alex, the social media girl, probably be pretty good. Jen Affleck who knows she's a Mormon

She'll probably be pretty good Some weird reason And Robert Irwin Oh that's crocodile hunter's son Crocodile Hunter's son Who is crazy Got a lot of crazy energy So he might do some weird stuff

And who is it Whitney leave it? Yeah What is she from? Leave it Secret Lives of Mormon Wives So they have two girls From the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives No you have travel in packs

What's her last name? What's her last name? What's her last name? Love it or Oh, she has crazy eyes. Yeah. They all have crazy eyes. They're actresses.

They all hopped up on soda. Can we read the biography of Corey Feldman, please? They all have biographies up on the website. I'd like to read it, please. All these broads have mail delivery meals sent to the house every night. They haven't cooked. They have a kitchen. They've never used a pot and pan in their life.

Do we have, yeah, here we go. Corey Feldman, listed simply as a star. Star about, oh, it's stars. I got it. That wasn't him too. I want to give him so much shit that sometimes I go a little too far. That's not his fault. Corey Filman began his acting career just three and a half years old when he auditioned for McDonald's.

Commercial? Which went on to earn a Cleo award and aired for eight consecutive years. Wow. So he's like, I really knocked it out of the park with that fucking commercial. You can win awards for commercials? Oh, yeah, do Cilos. You never got a CLEO? I never got a CLEO.

Oh. No. You should go to the Cleos with me this year. I will. Yeah. Do we have to wear suits? Yeah. Okay, sorry, dude.

I didn't know. It's more of a tux rental thing. Okay, buddy, I'll get a tux. I'm not trying to offend your Cleo Award ceremony. Well, I don't know if I'm going to win this year. All right, man. I didn't know you went every year. Commercial?

Commercial? Commercial? Marshall? I do, yeah, I do radio voiceover for a condom commercials. How's it go? Are you tired of buying condoms at the store? and everyone's seeing that they're just regular old condoms. And now we deliver condoms.

Let me try it. Are you tired? Are you tired of getting regular old condoms? I don't believe you. All right. Whatever, dude. I'm not getting a Cleo. I'm not getting a Cleo.

Bobby, not with that effort. Just fucking stupid. Yeah, Scorsese is in there for the Clios. For sure. That guy. That looks like me. That's Mr. That's the most awards. Oh, Will I am also.

Can you go back to the Star Biography, please? so just we know Corey's won a Cleo that tends to not make it into the pre-show braggadocious screen show he puts on he was won a Cleo at three and a half aired for eight years

by the time he was four he was already filming regularly and now Feldman is probably celebrating his 50th anniversary in entertainment you go you go Corey you're my man good job

I believe you Good job, Corey. From a career that has garnered over a hundred theatrical films, 18 of which were number one at the box office, along with over 100 television appearances, five TV series, 20 U.S. tours with various bands, three Billboard top 40 hits, multiple viral videos,

and a historic Today Show performance that became the most viewed musical act on the show at the time. His legacy continues to evolve. That's pretty fucking hilarious. They still call, he goes, his historic today's show, not like amazing or good. As one of the original stars of the Goonies, Feldman is also helping to celebrate the film's 40th anniversary by co-producing a new docu-series series that chronicles the refurbishment of the iconic Goonies House. I saw that. A nostalgic landmark for fans across generations. Where is it?

It's, uh... Oh, it's New York, right? It's like Western New York or something. Yeah, it's like, yeah. Oh, no, that was Port Charles. I think it's up, up in, uh... It's in Oregon. It's in up, West Coast, up, Oregon.

I was just saying, I was using my finger going up. And then thank God, Christine picked it upstate. What are his three top 40 hits? Good question. What are his three top 40 billboard hits? Yeah, well, we're going to tell you that on the way back. Oh, we got more to talk about. We've got to take a break.

But don't forget, you have to vote. Yes, that's most important thing is vote. Vote early, vote often, yes? We'll put it on Instagram stories, too. I tweeted the link, the voting link. So it's not open yet, but the link's out there, and we can put it on our Instagram story. You have to vote for court. We need Corey Feldman to stay on this show.

Come on, man. We've never asked you to do anything for us. No. Except listen. Except listen and buy tickets to all of our stuff and the merch also. And please go to Skank Fest, get tickets to that. Go to seven different platforms if you want to watch all of our stuff. It's no way to make it concise, really.

So I guess we ask a lot of you. We ask a lot. But also, just tag. this one more thing on, would you? Don't be a dick. Oh, I need help. And now you're going to rub it in my face all the things you do for me already? Fuck you. One more thing. Big Jay is going to be in Pittsburgh Improft, September 18th and the 20th.

And then he's in Toronto for just one day, the 21st. First show is already sold out. Second show. Tickets still available. After that, he's going to be in Portland and then Columbus. For tickets and all tour dates, please go to bigjeecomedy. And YouTube.com slash at Big J.O. Carsan. And Robert Kelly is going to be a comedy at the Carlson and Rock.

Rochester, October 10th, and 11th. After that, Tampa, Florida, in May as Pennsylvania, and New Orleans, of course, for Skank Fest for tickets and all tour dates. Go to punch up that live slash Robert Kelly. That's right. And, of course, check out Bobby's YouTube channel. YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly Comedy. And, of course, just like tonight, every Tuesday night,

not only can you watch Corey Feldman, you can watch Bobby tell jokes. I'm going to be doing it. The Fat Black Pussy Cat Lounge, the comedy cellar. I'll be doing it in an English accent, the whole show. Really? House show, English accent, as my new character. That would make me walk out. Bobbo, no, it won't.

It's going to make people stay and cheer and have a Guinness. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.