The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Gay Bear Spray

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

The guys watch Jerrod Carmichael's new reality show and learn some things about heartbreak and farts.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly I'm so happy. I'm the worst song in the soundtrack of Roadhouse? It's Patrick Swayze, Rest In Peace. Oh Christ, I didn't know he did another song. I am so happy right now. It's a big day. I am, you don't understand, this might save my love life. Yeah, yeah, your marriage was falling apart before this. And I came in today and I see hope I see I see sunlight in the distance

down the road coming up not going down you guys are gonna fall in love again all over again we're gonna fall in love again man and it's because of keiki co keiki co I mean they came back big time with our spring fling with our spring fling collections It's it's bigger because the other one we got was a little small well now they make biggies They make a biggie and now it's going in the big bed and tonight. I'm coming home. I'm gonna have a little of the Roasted chicken she made cuz I'm a little hungry okay, that's fair, and then I'm gonna go put this on the bed secretly I'm just gonna bring it, put it in.

Yeah, get past her when you get in the house. Don't let her see what you're doing. No, I'm gonna, I'll put it under my stomach. Oh, does it have, feel both sides of it? Is it the same thing on both sides? I hope so, yes. Yeah? This thing is magical.

I might just fuck her and just masturbating this by myself. Maybe. I might just lie on top of it. Tell her the other one, say, well no, the other one's yours, you got the other one. Yeah, no, you go sleep in the bunk bed. What color is that? What? Color is that this is called wolf gray wolf. I don't know. It's dark gray charcoal gray. Maybe charcoal. We got three snowy owls, yeah

And then what did you get J? Mahogany Jaguar. It's a new color. It's awesome. It looks like wood with Jaguar print on it. It actually looks like a bear skin rug. Lewis, what's yours? Well, I killed that bear on my snowshoes. Beautiful blue weave.

Lou got the weave, which none of us have played it that way before. But I think it's a good choice. I like it. It's his personality. It was like, you know what? No, no. It was not a bad choice at all.

I'm just saying, that's the first weave one we've gotten, though. You know what? I own the weave. You got yourself a weave? Yeah, the first one I got was a weave. I need a weave. I guess I'm, I know I like that one, Lou.

That's a good couch one. Absolutely. That's a Sunday morning, nobody's up, turn the TV on. And it doesn't tickle your nose when you put your face in it, like the other ones do. Oh, I like getting my nose tickled. Nose tickle? tickle tickle. What the fuck are you doing with your blanket? It's like sniffing a bobcat They'll fucking shit Lou is on his belly a lot at his house

I'm gonna try to tickle your nose. This doesn't shed your cream. I've never it's nothing sheds It's so wonderfully soft. It's ridiculous. Same on both sides. Oh, Jaguar Mahogany, take me away. Blue's so jaded. I'm not jaded, I'm just sensitive. I love Jaguar Mahogany. Mahogany Jaguar, I'm so happy you got that one.

I like the name. I like my color better, but I wish it was named Jaguar Mahogany. Mahogany Jaguar. Yeah, yours is this one, it's a charcoal. Charcoal. I'm gonna call it, I'm gonna call it a... I think there's a couple underneath that one also.

I'm gonna call it Jaguar ma... Charcoal. I gotta get an oversized now. Dude, I'm so excited. Jacob, what if it gets, if it goes over your head, you're gonna get lost. It's gonna be big on me. I want the oversized.

If it goes over your head, you're gonna be fighting out of it like, help, somebody help, where's the edge? Is you have a neighbor knocking your door? I'm gonna put this in the bed tonight tonight. I'm gonna I'm gonna make sweet love to somebody Either her or myself. Well, you're gonna love though. Yeah, the feeling I was feeling I Maybe if that is when Christine was at home on your open butt. I was gonna say just nakey underneath that thing I want to feels really good. I want to be to be naked on top and then pull it over you. That's what I mean. Yeah completely wrapped in your naked

In that I'm gonna get naked tonight I'm looking forward to tonight cuz I'm gonna use it and I'm wearing my basketball tights right now And they make everything of sleeping in those has become fun. So slippery You're just slippery under the sheets should make you don't get sweaty No, you know get a little sauce by your inner thighs. Thanks. Oh, no. I really got him wedged up there though Okay, yeah, my keep my tights on tight. I get a little sauce on the side when I'm tight I have tights, and I'm a fan of tights. I wore tights Before it was cool like ten years years ago I started wearing tights.

Really? To the gym. Really? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I wouldn't wear these to the gym. I wear these underneath basketball shorts when I play basketball, because of compression. Yeah. And it's good for, that's why I got them.

And then now I wear them under my jeans that have like holes in them. I don't have good skin tone for leg holes in jeans until summertime. Summertime if I get like a little tanner. It looks fine Yeah, but it is pasty white so I wear the tights and then underneath the jeans just the holes just black It looks like raw chicken. Yeah, it looks like fucking beefy raw chicken like a chicken thighs under your pants Like it's unpleasant and you can catch a vein or something going through there. It's just yick. So nice V vein catch a vein or something going through there, it's just yick.

So. A nice V vein. Ugh. Ugh. I don't really see how your legs get like a darker color in the summer. What'd he say? I don't really get how your legs get

like a darker color in the summer. Well. Your shorts are very long. I mean, we didn't have to investigate this. We were just gonna have a cute little conversation and move on, but apparently somebody's CSI-ing your fuckin' theory about your legs. Sorry, Christine.

You're pasty as shit too. Your skin tone sucks, dick. Good one, Jay. Thanks, dude. Yeah, I got you, man. Wow. A dozen M-Armenian. I gotta get away from you.

What? What the fuck does that mean? I gotta get away from this bitch. We could give Christine a trip and me and you stay home. Let's submit on a trip, but somewhere dangerous. What's mean you go to the tiny house alone? We're like, don't even look, just get on the plane, it's first class, and they're gonna be like,

the Congo, how did we get here? Me and you go to the tiny house alone, you get Max's sleeping loft, I get mine, we just wave at each other from across the way. I would tiny house with you for three straight weeks. Oh, it'd be so fun. Just me and you? Yeah, just me and you.

Three straight weeks. We out there together. So much fun. Oh, we would have a blast we get you know We get we get two cups with the string and we put them across and we could talk to each other if we could utilize Your fun things you have that I don't think are fun, but we can use them for Jay like activities like hey If we hike up the other side of this Mountain on our snowshoes. Mm-hmm

There's a house where these four chicks are staying at and they leave the windows wide open and we can look at night into their windows. Now I'm starting to see reasons to get my ass up to New Hampshire. Now I see it. I'm super hetero in case you know. I just want people to know that now

that I'm watching the Gerard Carmichael show. What? I'm super hetero. Now we know. Okay, but just so you know, I'm super in the chicksard Carmichael show. What? I'm super hetero. No, we know. Okay, but just so you know, I'm super in the chicks and shit. We know. I love, I like, I don't love, I'm gonna rephrase, I like Gerard, he's always been a sweet.

I don't know him enough to love him. I like him very much though. Yes, he's always been very sweet. Very nice, very nice guy, always hype. I mean, the type of guy that would, hey, Robert, how you doing? And hangs out for a second, talks to you for a minute, good guy.

Nah. Great kid. And he's a, no, there's no but to that at all. His new show, you know, he's out of the closet now. He was living a double life for some time. Aren't we all? And now he's out of the closet. And I just said it is so funny though

when someone comes out of the closet and he is like, it's all at once. So you're just seeing it right away. It's like, I just know he's out of the closet. And he is like, it's all at once. So you're just seeing it right away, it's like I just know he's out of the closet, and you're like, good for him, man. Gerard Carmichael's gay, and he's coming out of the closet, and his family's not super cool with it, which he's kind of showing in this too.

This is ballsy. What is this show? Can you tell me what it is? It's called the Gerard Carmichael Reality Show. Yeah, I was snowshoeing this weekend outdoors, doing outdoor things, not too much TV. Okay, me, I was watching this guy live his gay life. Because we have two different approaches on things.

We have two different approaches. I was in the woods. Actually my weekend also, I said, oh, by the way, Chris Kale, bass player from Five Finger Death Punch, did guest spots on all my shows this weekend. Feel nice and loose between first and second show. Me, he's sober. But I was feeling loose and I was like, dude, I said, I never told you this weekend, feeling nice and loose between first and second show. Me, he's sober.

But I was feeling this and I was like, dude, I said, I never told you this story, but this is so funny. Baba da ba. You said snake pit blue. We get there. The tickets weren't for the snake pit. You were like, I got you covered. My boy is going to come out. He repeats the guy's name. I'm like, yeah, him. He was great. He came out and brought us down. He was like, this is as far as I can get you.

No snake pit. He was like, yeah, man, it is hard to get into that snake pit. That was it, he's moved on. I was like, okay. He's like, yeah, I had a hard time getting my family in there in one of the shows, it's nuts, huh? I don't know. It's almost breaking a 10 year old's heart. Yeah, it didn't register.

But no, but so I started watching this last night. It's only one episode out right now. And I said, I give them like, I mean, they talk about bravery. This is brave. This is- Reality show? It's a reality show.

It shot very well. It's him doing some standup, talking about it, but he is out now, the closet. So it's so weird seeing a guy who I never saw that energy from before. Like this is a very, it's about him like dating and hooking up with guys and don't do the trailer, bring up the episode.

Because the two things you have to see, this is balls and awkward. Do you know who Tyler the Creator is? No. He's a rapper, would you say slash actor, Black Lou? That's where he does like acting stuff, right? At this point, yeah. He's had shows on Adult Swim. Very interesting guy.

Is he bisexual? I guess not, I think on the show he says he's straight. Super straight. But on the show he lets himself be filmed. Jerrod, like, flat out, the whole episode's about him saying he has feelings, developed feelings for his best friend. Told him in a text a while back,

and this friend just kind of blew it off in the text, like, ah, you're stupid, dude, whatever. And then they never talked about it and stopped hanging out a bunch, stopped talking, and he invites him over on this episode and tells him, like, he basically wanted him to go to the Emmys with him, and it was saying, like, I have feelings for you,

and whatever, and the guy just shoots him down. Tyler Crater's like, eh, dude, it's like a brother, we're like brothers, man, it'd be weird. It was so awkward to watch, but he puts it was saying, like, I have feelings for you, and the guy just shoots him down. Tyler Crater's like, eh, dude, it's like a brother. We're like brothers, man, it'd be weird. It was so awkward to watch, but he puts it out there. God bless him, dude. Pretty interesting. HBO seems, like, HBO used to be comedy, like, you know, the top, like what Netflix is now,

I guess, right? But now they seem to only kind of go down this route, like weird, interesting, or guess, you know. Well, I think HBO's also fucked up a little bit that all the things they've purchased and like acquired or what do you call it, like joined up with, merged with, it like waters it down. Like so many things you're like, oh, this would be a great documentary on HBO. And then you find out it's like a, you know, discovery whatever thing.

And you're like, ah, it's not gonna be as good as a HBO documentary. But their comedy is really kind of alternative, weird, not comedy. Yeah, Soder. Like they're not, did Soder do a? Yeah, weird not comedy. Yeah, like a weird. Like weird not comedy, Dan Soder.

Is he gay, is he not gay? And it's mostly just sucking dude's toes like Soder. Yeah, Soder, you've already did your special HBO. Now you've got to go have a gay reality show where you walk around in panties the whole time. That made me so happy. He walks around with his wiener just in these little tiny bikini underwear the whole time.

He was close. I caught Michael. Took his socks off with Shane on the couch, didn't he? Didn't they do shoeless? They shoved their feet under each other's toses. Okay, would that be if they wind up fucking hooking up one night? One day, they'll find love.

What part is this? This is the beginning, so what part do you want me to get to? Oh, him going on the dates and then sucking a guy's fucking toe on the couch. What? It's crazy. What? What is the toe thing? I don't't get toes this is the start of the

toe is disgusting why you would just suck especially a man's toe man's dick is less disgusting than a toe so this is him on dates oh god okay how old are you I don't think I ever got your last name. I just got your first name Like 25 you're off by a decade sir 15 Thank you a boxer the first day cuz you I stopped right now. He's got a type Twinks oh he's got a type spit He likes a little mix he fucked me they show him like fresh after fucking a guy one morning And they're both is having breakfast like this's like, this is nice, you know?

We just had like crazy amazing sex and now we're having breakfast together, it's great. And he's like, you're just eating cereal after you just got, didn't you have to make sure you get poop out of your pee hole? Wow. Out of your teeth. They show the like boy loop.

Morning, morning butt fuck, I never think, I don't like, I'm not a big morning sex guy myself. I don't hate it, but I definitely don't love it. Morning gay butt fucking has to be the worst of morning sexes. Hey, you still mucked up from last night? Because here I'm just gonna try to use some of that. You know the shit that pushed down your intestines

a little further than it was last night? Everybody has to shit first thing in the morning. Dude, if you butt fuck before bed, and then butt fuck right when you wake up, and then go shit, your shit's gonna be wonky. It's gonna be a strange batch of turd, for sure. I'm going to the Emmys on Monday. You like, are nominated for an award?

You wanna go? We have the whole thing, he's on Grindr, finding a date for the Emmys. You might be in a back-up date. Back-up date? Because I have to see if someone that I genuinely love wants to go first. Yeah, go ahead.

Oh my God. That's Tyler, the creator. Why, that's him? Look at this. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Look, he just takes his shoe off. Oh, that's disgusting. Oh God.

Why? I'd rather see them blowing each other. The cameraman's backing out of there. The cameraman goes like, get the fuck out of here. What's happening? Oh. disgusting Why I'd rather see them blowing each other? Okay, all right, yeah, I don't say he really went for it God bless him buy a foot You know, I don't see myself as a twink. I'd rather have a girl eat my ass than my foot. If she put my foot in her mouth, I'd be like, get out. Oh my, yeah. That's disgusting.

Honest to God, I'd rather kiss my own cum in your mouth than suck someone's toes. Oh, he's right off the streets too. It's not even like they shower. He just took his... Oh yeah, here's a guy. So he just... This is kind of a is kind of a morning butt fuck this guy. This is just another dude. What? Yeah Game or promiscuous jacob Woke up and had sex the montage like five guys came into the room like spank bankable memorable sex

Thank you. That's so nice. Yeah, yeah, like I'll remember. Is that a wrestling belt on the thing over there? Yeah. Never forget it. Yeah, yeah, thank you. I don't forget. This is the first time in my life where immediately after having sex, someone was like, the crew's coming in.

So that will probably be memorable for me as well. Yeah. Hey man, thanks for blasting my ass. Now if you don't mind, my producer has to get in here Yeah, wardrobe is coming in. Yeah, they do they make him try on a bunch of outfits for the Emmys Ladies coming in yeah, just go to Tyler creators park is this is oh my god, I feel Oh, yeah, might as well give him a good makeout session We don't you have to shower after morning Bobby take this

Try on a bunch of borrowed clothes. That's when you know you're full gay when you kiss a guy with a mustache. Yeah for sure. Oh god. Wow. He just made out with that little mustache. How many guys is he banging? I don't know.

I don't know. First thing, I think he's supposed to bang all those guys. So Tyler, the creator, he reached out to. He said he can't go to the Emmys with him, but he's like, can we just talk? And he has him over to have, I mean, the most awkward talk ever.

You know, it's weird. Hey, I know you're not gay, but would you let me butt fuck you? Can Republican Bob come up for a second? Sure. The Bobcat. This is a little hypocritical. Because if, say you had your own reality show, right? And you had a girl, you would just have a bunch

of chicks coming over. Sure. And then you sucked one of their toes. Sure. And you tossed her out, and then you butt fucked the other one, and then had breakfast. And then you made out with another one. They'd be like, he's a misogynistic piece of shit.

Or I'd be the bachelor. That's the show The Bachelor. That's what they do. Or Rock of Love. Or Rock of Love. They call me fucking a legend. I'd be like, Brett Michaels. Enemy of the show, Brett Michaels.

I mean, it's kinda. No, for sure. If it was not so, yes, everyone accepts gay promiscuity much more. I also don't think men are really offended. Now that AIDS is under control, huh? Did you just are really offended. Now that AIDS is under control, huh? Did you just get that wink? Now that AIDS is under control.

Yeah, thank you. I don't think men are really offended by being called womanizers. I think that's something women try to offend men, but I don't think it actually is like a insult. I don't think it's a good, it's not a good label. No, we get, we get, we're like, oh, that sucks. And then we high five behind your back.

Yeah, yeah, of course. Dude, I mean, it's a a womanizer I got the womanizer status Jiggle-o bitch Go on this is Tyler the creator coming over to have a conversation I tried to have a or do you not even as many people showed up pause actually Christine for also in the background Could you look up is Tyler the creator confirmed bisexual no? I did look it up, and it says that there's a lot of thought that he's gay or bisexual But he never has confirmed it okay confirmed bisexual or whatever? No, I did look it up and it says that there's a lot of thought that he's gay or bisexual,

but he never has confirmed it. Okay. It's the Bonfire, everybody, and you're listening to the podcast version, which is free. Half of it's free. You get half the show. Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts? Right?

It's like being half jacked off. Sign up right now at SiriusXM.com slash bonfire to subscribe for the full show plus you get all the music Channels you get Howard Stern you get all the other comedy channels sports and to get our full show sign up for a serious xm subscription at serious xm.com Slash bonfire support our show subscribe I mean an orgy is a pretty bisexual thing to be a part of. Is it? I mean unless it's you and all women.

That's not true. Orgy could just be a bunch of just like an even number of guys and girls all fucking. We're having a party man. There you go. Thanks. Jacob's coming. Jacob's coming. Jacob's in the corner just jerking off flicking a knife.

The reason I wanted to talk to you on camera is that I kind of felt like a distance between us. I have an idea of what it is, but what I think is made it awkward. What do you think that is? It's because I had tons of bad feelings for you and we didn't talk about it ever. That was like weird. Pause this.

I gotta give Draud a Carmichael credit, it's groundbreaking to have two black men doing this on a TV show on HBO. I mean, I think it's fucking pretty creative and one's like a rap, like a hip hop guy, it was like pretty popular. It's dangerous for one. The other one it's fine. One, his life's in danger. Now Tyler the creator is more of like, he's great. He's actually, I like him a lot. He's like very, remember the far side back in like the 90s? Like that group, it's like that, right? When you say that's kind of music it is now, like Oh, he's gay. Tyler the Creator, it's like very like theatrical and like- Oh, he's 100% gay. He's wearing a Madonna wig. This is a very- That's, I mean, he's gay. He's bi, he's bi. He's bi. Maybe.

But this is very like, you know, it's like an album cover thing he's doing. It's a very character. That's not really how he performs always. He's like a hip hop kid. He looks like a skateboard hip hop kid. Right. Is what he actually looks like. Yeah. But he, but he's also was linked to they used to say Jayden's

Jayden Smith and him were like fucking at one point Yeah, totally straight yeah hundred percent Well, I feel like a fucking candy. I feel like he says that I feel he says that on the Maryland Manson straight And he's like a theatrical performer. Yeah, but he's in love with Satan. Well, he also did put his... He also did actually suck his bass player's dick on stage, which is not... It's performance!

Sure. Yeah, that's for shits and giggles, dude. You know, you eat a bat, suck a dick. It's for the show. It's rock and roll, dude. Christine, can you stop self-entertaining yourself with this? Put on, thank you.

I liked what she sings. I could talk about or to, I don't know. I don't know. It's just like, I feel like you left me hanging out there a little bit. Like when you said that, I think I replied with something super mad, normal, regular. Like, I think I replied with like something super mad normal regular like. Like I like chicks.

Yo dude. Something mad normal like, nah dude I'm in the pussy. Yo dude, I like puss, bro. Fuck your bitch. Call me a stupid bitch. I did. Oh shit. Yeah he goes, you stupid bitch. I did. Oh shit. Yeah, he goes, you stupid bitch. I did.

And I think I just like brushed it off. I know, I know. Yeah. Getting news like that and then avoiding it is a way to avoid change. Ass fucking? So you were avoiding it. In way to avoid... Ass fucking? Change. In the shape of your ass and size of your asshole?

Yeah, it's a way to avoid sucking your dick. I never said that, I wasn't. That was a lot to download. And now we're here. And I still don't know how to respond. Yeah, yeah Yeah, Jesus, it's awkward as shit, but he films the whole thing He's wearing nail polish to

The did suck not talking to you What do you say? You know I said I know I rewarded myself to the first time what I did not talking to you. Oh, I thought you said... I know. I wanted to reward myself to the first time. What? I did jerk off to you. Cards on the table. Cards on the table. I did suck a guy's toes this morning.

Yeah, so you might not want to kiss me. And woke up with another dude. Yeah, I woke up with another dude. Shit on my dick and he had a mustache. And the crew came in and I was trying on an outfit so if I smell weird, it's all of that. Yeah. I don't know it's all of that. Yeah. I don't know a whole lot about AIDS. Continue in regular would be such a dent.

I don't know. Jesus. What would have been the ideal response? I don't know. I don't know. Talk about it the next day. Call me. Like look at me and bring it up and fucking move on and fucking go to Burgers

and never say that, I don't know. This, I think, I don't know. So tense. Seems like a weird thing to tell your friend over text message in the first place. Yeah, I've developed feelings for you. Yeah, he really did. Be with me.

This should probably be a face-to-face conversation. Stop receiving these messages, type stop. Yeah, yeah. He's not really good at communicating. He does it a text message and then in front of a camera crew There's a middle ground. Maybe I might get my heart broken Director Cut can you try that one more time? Yeah, tell me a favor. Don't call me the f-word this time. Okay, let's take it from first positions. Yeah. You can also, you can feel yourself

like not answering though, right? I don't know what you want me to answer. What do you think? This is pretty funny. Like you've only given me. Oh wait, pause it. Cause I just remembered what's interesting about this too. So they have food coming at this point,

and he forgets, so Taro the creator, when he sees the guys outside, and Jirard's got his head down, he's like basically, please, awkwardly, please bring in the food. Then he eats as gross as possible, and then he goes, I think I have to fart. Then he goes and farts, like really,

he's like trying to turn him off, because he doesn't want him to like him. It's such a hilarious move. That's gay bear spray. Yeah. Oh shit. He goes, I'm gonna fart in like 30 seconds. He farts, he does a thing,

he goes into the control room right behind him and blast ass in there and you hear the producer go, dude, why are you doing that to me? He's like, you'll be all right. That's how they stay away. and you hear the producer go, dude, what are you doing? Why are you doing that to me? He's like, you'll be all right. You'll be all right. That's how they stay away. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you wanting the same thing for me? When you told me that, I'm like, no. I feel bad. Not like that. Like, that's like a brother. That man's like family. Like, truly like family. Oh, he's so sad. Like a true brother.

Just say I'm not gay. Just fuck him. See, there's where he's like, please bring in the food. Please fill my stomach so shit comes out. Couldn't wheel the cart in. Get the visas for taco. Fill my fill my stomach you so shit comes out With his hands, yeah, he's trying to get as much in his stomach to fill his asshole up to fill his asshole up. Everything could be gross or just slipping slurping. He's sucking on his fingers which is making him hotter. Oh, sharing ice cream.

He eats with the spoon upside down. He's just being as nasty as he can be. That was great. Thank you. Oh man. Poor. You want to finish that? He's just a dude.

I wasn't implying I wanted it. I know I don't want any of that. I'm big straight. Big straight on that. I'm straight. He just said it. I know. That's what I hear people say.

I'm big straight on the food. In life or on this plate? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He just said it. I know that's what I think people were saying I'm big straight on the food in life or on this plate. Oh boy Guys he's tired of being serious get some of that butter and put on my body Okay, there's gonna be a farting like 30 seconds. Oh, let's go, you know the killers

Okay, there's gonna be a fart mic 30 seconds. I'm like, oh, you know when I kill us My asshole Can we stop making the screen go dark is that possible every time you move the thing it just it makes the screen like much Darker. Well, it's cuz it brings up the control. I couldn't see that Sorry dog can't do it from front of him, he'll throw up. He did. He just locked him in there. Just locked him in there with a fart, he's good. He just farted. He just did everything to be gross in front of him. Yeah. To be like, anyway, he goes, look, I mean, maybe we could try having sex.

Oh, that's got something behind it. You mind if I just go take a wet dookie before we fuck? Hey man, you got any baby wipes? You guys always carry baby wipes, right? I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. Oh, that's got something behind it. You mind if I just go take a wet dookie before we fuck?

Hey man, you got any baby wipes? You guys always carry baby wipes, right? So you want me to like, let you butt fuck me or something? Such an awkward conversation. It's so sad though, because I feel for Gerard. Of course, of course you do. How do you not? The only person you feel for, I mean I guess that's true. I feel for Gerard. Of course. How do you not? That's the only person you feel for.

I mean, I guess that's true. I feel for Tyler, the creator too, because it's an awkward situation he's put in. Hey, can you come over with my film crew? I got something to ask you. I mean, this is the same thing that got a guy murdered on the Jenny Jones show. Really? You don't remember that? No.

Oh, there's so much documentary on that. That's great. Yeah, the guy years ago came out on Jenny Jones. And they asked him. It's interesting when he says, I always remember that line. You lied to me. A friend of his who's gay comes out and tells him that it's him who has feelings for him.

Before the show, they said to the guy, he's like, you're going to get surprised by a secret crush. And he asked me, he goes, I don't want to do this. It's not gay. It's not a guy. If it's a guy, I don't want to, it's not gay, it's not a guy. If it's a guy, I don't want to. And they were like, well, we can't really say whether it is or isn't.

And then they said eventually, all right, they need him to go on. So they're like, no, it's not a guy. And then it was a guy. His first words, he goes, oh, you lied to me. And he kind of laughs it off and is weird, murdered him days later. Jesus.

Because he said he went home and right away, it's like the early internet, so everyone's right away, like dude, you're gay, because that gay guy, he just snapped. Oh my god. I mean, he's a lunatic, the guy who killed the gay guy, for sure, but I mean, what a dangerous thing. And so we'll put her out of business.

Looks like he was released from prison in 2017. Oh, good. He's like, by the way, he goes, I've learned. Gay sex isn't that big of a deal. I had to get over it a long time ago. Did you bring up the Jane Jones thing? You don't have the video? I thought you were going to play the video next.

He goes, you're like, it's crazy to watch the guy murder them days later. That's so funny. You go to jail for that, for murdering a gay guy, and then the first thing they're going to do is just fuck you in the butt. You're goddamn ass immediately. That's what's happening You're gonna be walking around with a fucked ass for 13 years. You're always in diapers. I can't believe he got out why I Guess they were saying like it wasn't totally like Like they said like he was kind of like led into it. I guess in some way I don't know that That's a weird thing.

You think I'd be just be life in jail, just cold-blooded murder. Well, I mean, to be put in that position, I mean, you couldn't kill anybody over it, but that must be it. For a guy to tell me. Well, I'm saying, depends on the, again, I'm surprised what this guy had to deal with. I don't know, but that's a weird, you laid that on. That's why I'm saying Tyler Creator is a little bit a sign of the progression of the black community for sure,

because I just feel like this was something that would be like a major, major issue years ago. Even saying Tyler Creator would be like, don't fucking put me on your god damn show, like while you're telling me you have feelings for me and shit, and now they're just kinda like, doesn't really matter. Which is a good thing, I said before, but.

He is farting and eating like a piece of shit. It's so goddamn funny he does that. He goes, ooh, I gotta fart right out of the place you wanna put your penis. Pfft. All right, all right. All right, I'm gonna go shit now, right in that hole you wanna fuck.

Pfft. You sure you still like this? I forgot to wipe. That's disgusting. Do you have the Jane Jones guy, Christine? I'm looking for the clip of it. Does it just end awkward like this? That's the end of Christine?

How does he leave? How does he stay? Play this, Christine, so we can... You'll live. You'll live? Yeah, the guy that he farted on. You'll live. You can hear me?

Can you hear me right now? Yeah, you have mics. You wanna talk about that fart some more? Yeah. Man, wow, this is awkward. Yeah. It's terrible. He keeps holding his head. Thanks for dinner.

Oh, yeah. Sorry about the gas. Hey, thanks a week. Sorry about the beef stew snow. That's wild. Hey Tyler Critty, you want to come over and... Oh, yeah. Is this the end of the show?

Yeah. That's wild. Hey Tyler Crady, wanna come over and... Is this the end of the show? No, he goes... Does he go on like Seinfeld at the end and do a joke about a guy's farting? Guys have stinky asses. It looks like he got on stage right after he won his Emmy. What the fuck? It was his Emmy outfit Whoa. What the fuck?

It was his Emmy outfit. I mean, God bless him. No, as I'm saying, he came out of the closet and went like flamboyant, big time gay. Good for him. I'd love to wear that on stage. Oh my God. Just a fur?

Yeah. Man. If anybody asked me any question about my style, I would just go, I'm gay. This is the next thing. Trust me. You're talking about your style now? Yes. OK. Yes, I would just go, I'm gay. This is the next thing, trust me. You're talking about your style now? Yes. Yes, people would ask me that.

Now I have to go, I don't know, I like this and the gloves are cool, like the change has always sucked my sword of war. Are you wearing tights? Since I was in my 20s or 30s, I do have tights. It's easier if you say all those things, I go, you did them gay. Of course I'm wearing tights.

Of course I got my eyebrows threaded. I got it, got it. What's the highlights too? Okay, yeah. Gay, gay, gay, gay. Jay dresses more gay than Garrosh. It all turns up gay. Woo, but yeah, he won the Emmy and puts it there.

Now I think what this show's gonna get interesting because they haven't gotten into too much of this, his family is not hyped on this at all. Like when you watch the trailer for this show and they show you later in the episodes, like him holding his mom, just looking him right in the face and praying, you know, like she's like,

I love you and I'm so proud of you. And I just pray that one day God will take your desires to do this away and like right to his face. And he's like, all right. Which is pretty tough, yeah. Does he end up taking the backup guy? I assume. He said, you're my backup if Gerard doesn't fit.

Well, then he ended up sleeping with the guy with the mustache, though. I get confused. What a great app, though. You can just call people over and fuck. I know. That is such a great convenience. That's Tinder for a super good looking guy.

Yeah, but it's better than Tinder because they're just fucking. Well, because they're gay, so they're just like, yo, I saw that you're two blocks away from me. That's enough reason for us to fuck, right? Yeah, Tinder, you got to fucking take her out for a coffee or something and listen to her hopes and dreams. That wasn't the initial promise of Tinder, though, I don't believe.

Really? I've never used it, so I don't know. I think Tinder is about meeting somebody, right? Well it started out as a fuck app, but now you gotta date him. Oh no, it's the same old, you gotta date him. You gotta date him. You gotta throw a burger down her throat.

It was supposed to be straight grinder. Huh? It's supposed to be straight grinder. That was the idea. Straight people don't. Now you gotta fuck in the head. So I'm thinking of getting my real estate license, oh boy. You gotta listen to. Yeah, I know my mother got it and she said I can make a good living This is a segment, but I think we have to break

Yeah, it's placed in with interview, but this is the thing Jenny Jones Jenny He's got a cute little hard body You know when you just want to pick up your curio cabinet, you know, and dust him off once in a while. I wasn't sure if you knew. Young Jim David. Oh, it's... You want to physically pick him up?

Oh, he's just a tiny little cute thing. He's gorgeous. And this guy already doesn't want to be involved in gay shit, and now he's got a gay guy describing him. Everybody goes, he's got a cute little button butt and a little pecker that I like, and I want to kiss his little stupid face His little bushy hair and eyebrows. He's like the worst and someone describing you a gay guy. I like dressing like Jack Tripper He was praying it was the morbidly obese girl that he also was friends with.

Oh that's it right there. That's what got him killed. That pulling. Did you think Donna had the crush on you? Did I? No we're good friends. Well guess what? It's Scott that has the crush on you.

You lied to me. That guy got fucked in jail. I mean he's confronted with this... I mean that guy got banged out in jail. Oh yeah. That guy had the spiked haircut. That was a cutie patootie. That guy was definitely corn holed daily.

Oh my god. He learned the true meaning of gay that day. He learned it's super gay. We'll be right back everybody. This is the Bonfire. Murder Rock. Murder Rock. I'm gonna call so I can just ask you before I hit the floor Do I sound like him? A little bit Say, yeah, he's mad

I hope he was sick with COVID You got that There you go So, what's up Bobby? You wanna have gay sex with me? You wanna have gay sex with me? I, well, I, uh Oh, sorry, did that come out? You know what? Was that room? I, well, I... Oh, sorry, did that come out? You know what?

Was that room audible? It did. Thank you. Sorry. So you want to have sex where my poop lives? I just know, maybe we could just hold each other. Hang on a second, there is something stringy just stuck in my teeth. That's a piece of salmon.

Yeah. Oh, that's disgusting. There it is. What do I do? Do I toss it or do I eat it? I'm going to eat it. Okay, okay. I eat it off my fingernail.

I mean, I'm good. I'm straight. I'm straight. You fixed me. Anyway, uh kiss me. Let's go to the awards together Robert Kelly is gonna be at the riot comedy fest in Houston. That's Thursday April 4th. That's this Thursday. No Thursday. Yeah Oh, yeah this Thursday, baby. Oh this Thursday Yeah, get tickets. Oh and then Friday Saturday at the comedy mothership in Austin already sold out if you don't have tickets yet You're fucked. No, I'd probably stand by now. You are fucking shit out of luck And then I'm gonna be at the comedy zone in Jacksonville this weekend everybody come check it out big jay comedy comm Robert Kelly live comm check out our YouTube. We'll see you tomorrow. Fuck you