The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Gimmicks with Dave Temple & Derek Gaines

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

Jay relives his early stand up days when he played a song and undressed for the crowd. Dave Temple and Derek Gaines discuss comedians that used gimmicks like using music cues in their act. They all take bad advice when they first started out in comedy. Bobby and Derek were recently hanging out at the Comedy Cellar and were snapping on new comics like the old days. Dave and Derek are currently on the "Let's Get Pizza" tour. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly I'm gonna re-bring it up Bobby because our guests will think it's cooler than you didn't really care that much what? Sitting across from Jay to kiss on a plane two days ago. Oh, yeah It's it's twice now been Jada Kiss. But both times, the unspoken acknowledgement we gave was, and both times almost, I had to look over a white person who had no idea who that was Jada Kiss. Almost confused by the riff-raff of me and Jada Kiss being in this area of the plane. Absolutely.

And then Jada Kiss and me see each other. And then we acknowledge where I give him a nod, both times a nod of like, dude, I know you're Jada Kiss. And he gives me a nod of like, you've now recognized Jada Kiss. And I accepted it both times. I promise you, you didn't remember the other time last one. My other one was Fat Joe, where I rehearsed my entire,

the entire plane, the thing I was gonna say to him. And then I went up and said it to his face. He looked concerned and then took his headphone out and went, what? And I went, ah, this is a fan, and I jogged away. What did you say? Yeah, what did you say? I do a ranger show. What was that, planning?

Somebody looks just like you? No, my plan was a... You look more like Joe. My plan was, he was talking about himself. I was. Yeah. Oh, okay. My plan was to say it was layered.

Hey man, I've been a fan since Flo Joe came on The Box. Jesus Christ. Wow. Why would you fucking say that? I've done that. It's a good line, it's a good line. I did that once to 50 Cent. I know the box. I know Flojo too.

I did that to 50 Cent one time where I just literally, we had been working together for two days and then finally it was just me and him on the side of the stage and I was just like, yo man, I've been around for a long time. I remember when you got shot in the mouth, I thought it was over, but I'm so glad to see how far you came.

That's a fucked up. Bring up his worst day of his life. I got one that trumps all of us. He rubbed the bullet hole when I said that. I'm so glad to see how far you came. That's a fucked up. Bring up his worst day of his life. I got one that trumps all of you. Right. He rubbed the bullet hole when I said that. I'm like, oh. Like a villain. Let me introduce you guys to everybody.

It's my fault I come out of the gates fucking swinging for sure. You know those voices. If you don't, you're an idiot. Listen to the No Need for Apologies podcast on Gas Digital. It is the No Need for Apologies boys, Dave Temple and Derek Gaines everybody. They're here. They're doing the Let's Get Pizza Tour. With dates, that's why Bobby does comedy.

With dates coming up, Bobby's booked dates for pizza. That's not a fat joke. You booked dates for pizza. I was about to attack you, and you're absolutely right. It was the best pizza in the country. Absolutely, that's what we're looking for. Yeah, this whole tour is about for us. It was in Jersey.

Oh wow. Is it Morristown? You see fucking old Bobby come back there? There's OG Bobby coming back there. What? You were about to get really angry, like it was an insult. You told me you've done, yeah. Because fat on fat crime bugs me.

Oh, yeah, I understand. Yes. If you said it, I'm fine. Well, fat on fat crime brings me back to old Bobby. It bugs you because you're guilty of it too. We all are. No, exactly, but I just, fat on fat crime brings me back to old Bob. It bugs you because you're guilty of it too. We all are. No, exactly, but I just hate fat on fat crime. The fact that I can't wait for a fatter person

to just fucking lay it into them, it goes, whoa, at least I got control of myself before I was that big. Right, right. That's why I apologize. I ain't that fat. No, it's in Morristown, Jersey. Okay.

They have like a tiny little room there, and this kid's been trying to get me to go, the producer of my show, Danny Braff, he'll be doing my room. And I was like, and then I saw the pizza guy from Barstool, Dave Portnoy, did a thing where he was like, this is a nine-four. And I was like, that looks like great pizza.

He goes, that pizza place is down the road. I go, you get me into that place and get me pizza and I'll do your show. Okay. So I went. You have to get in? Yeah. More or less.

That's the rich part of Jersey too. Well you gotta kinda, there could be a line a lot of times. But we didn't know, we went in, sat down, the guy, the owner came out, gave us a shit load of food, brought the four pies out. Of course Rich Voss showed up. It's right down the street from my house. He does show up to a show in Jersey.

Yeah, you got free pizza. He crashed two of mine. Yeah, he crashes shows. He crashed a party. He crashed a show. He really does just crash shows. Does Voss just show up to shows in Jersey? Dog, in Jersey.

If it's in Jersey, Voss gonna show up, and he gonna do 20 before you. Yeah, he walked in, Uncle Vinny's wanted, he just walked by the room and everybody knew who he was. Yeah, he was Awesome like all right come up stupid. He's you have done the point pleasant to walk by your show You're already it already sucks Listen, it already sucks that we're being booked to perform in a place that you can walk by and look in the front window And see you on stage that already hurts a little bit

And then when someone walks by that draws attention, that's the worst thing. That was the club, Uncle Vinny's where I had the thing with a lady who just hated my comedy, and she walked out furious. And then her boyfriend or husband, whatever it was, had to walk out after her, but he walked off way later after her,

where it was almost like, hey dude, you should probably go get your chick. And then he went outside and they just proceeded to fight in front of like the glass. So I told everybody, I was like everyone let's just watch and let's just watch what happens. Anybody wanna go outside and see what they're saying? There's no reason, you cannot do possible comedy

when it's like, hey don't look over your shoulder but something awesome and crazy is happening. Absolutely. Did I have my whole show leave, because I had a guy watching the Phillies game, or the Flyers game, no, not nice, during the show. Oh, you don't jade that? And I'm like, and everyone just wanted to look over,

and to the point where I was like, what's the score? Just so that people, because it was like, and then he said something to me, and I was like, fuck you. His wife said something to me. The lady next to him said something to me. I said, fuck you, go fuck yourself. Then his wife came up behind me on stage, this little tiny lady,

and she tried to grab the mic out of my hand, and some big guy stepped up in front of her. Then they dragged that fucker out. This guy pushed Dino's brother onto the ground. Then all of my fans who came to see me, they're pretty much, you know, fucking cops and firefighters and just alpha male fucking flag tattoos. What level?

And they just all left with them and fucking dragged that guy. So it's just me and a bunch of wives sitting there waiting for their husbands to come back. Tip your staff and bartender, please. There's only comedy. No one's ever been performing a concert and somebody in the audience goes like, give me the microphone.

Give it to me. Enough. Give it here. Like where they just like drunk, the interaction is brutal. But yeah, a place where the fucking, the whole thing, or when they just try to have anything. Like, no, just keep going on with your show.

In Miami last time I was there, the fucking fire alarm, that's a full speech, by the way, went on for 40 of the 45 minutes I was on stage. Hey, I had that in Phoenix. The fire alarm went on as I go on stage, went all the way, 45 minutes, and then I was like, you know, guys, all right, I gotta go, good night.

As soon as I went back and said good night, it just went boom, done. Cut off. Yeah. Cut off. Yeah. I've done that. Voss shows up in a lot though. I did Asbury Park. This jersey.

They had a beer room in Asbury Park where they paid me a lot of money to go do this thing and I did it and it was, the stage was a balcony. Oh shit. You had to climb a ladder to get it. Is this very jersey centric, this kind of thing? I think I'm doing like a show. Like I have one

I've never done a private show my life, but I have one for like a police Like something good luck Sure, no, it's probably gonna be bad, but like they're paying like stupid money. Who you gonna call Ghostbusters? If something goes wrong in there those are the people that oh the cops Yeah, there's oh if someone like talk talks shit and you gotta fucking go at it? Yeah. They can kill me and never fucking make sure I'm found again. Yeah, you're fucking done.

I know. My whiteness, really, whatever kind of white I am, has never really worked out with cops with me. Damn. It really hasn't. It doesn't? For you. Of course. No, I'm saying I agree.

I wish I'd been with people who have been, I'm like, yo, like, or they're getting pulled over or something, I'm like, yo, and they're like, relax. We're a couple of fucking white dudes, and I'm like, oh, this has not been my experience. Like, it's not been my experience. I'm like, they make me get out of the car and they rip everything out of my glove compartment box,

and they ask me, they do the baton under the chin. Yeah, it might be, it might be you. The baton of the chin to look up with them You're fucking Wu Tang hoodie my fucking trigger My just out you say so watching Jay relive all those moments in his eyes right now was hilarious So he's not dressing like Derek and you might have a shot Star just like Thanksgiving. I got all earth tones on me. He dresses like fucking Rambo. Yeah, this is hip hop Rambo, DJ hip hop Rambo. DJ Cornucopia.

You know, the Coug, I love Cougie sweaters. I have a gold badge, I got the gold badge. Oh shit, look at you. It's a little tiny gold badge you can get. When you do this gig for the cops, whoever books it, you have to go, yo, can I get one of the gold badges? When you have the gold badge in your wallet or with you,

all you do is show that gold badge, go ahead. Hey, any of you pig ethno cleansers want it? No? No, not that way. OK. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. Well, they're not nice to me.

You get a, it's like the ultimate PBA card that you get. and it comes from the head cop there. He'll give you a gold badge Okay and when you flap that's when you get pulled over all you do is you have your license and then you show the gold badge and You have to just know the guy's name go. Yeah, I'm friends with blah blah blah, and you just go I have a gold badge. I was with you until you said The sergeant or somebody. You know what I mean? The head cop?

Yeah. I know the head. The grand wizard cop. Yeah. Are you trying to fool black people with bullshit cop stories? That's what it sounds like. Then the sheriff came over and challenged me to a duel. I actually brought up, I was on the phone with Colin once

when I got pulled over and I was like, hey check this out, you know Colin Quinn? And he goes, yeah. And he goes, here's your ticket. I was with Dante Nero one time, we got pulled over driving back from Toronto in the middle of the night. In an apocalyptic Jeep? Absolutely, it was.

With the cruise horn. I was driving, Dante was sleeping, and then Rob Mayo, a Canadian comic, was on a thing, a giant antenna playing guitar while he was swinging back and forth. Gang, gang, gang, gang, gang. He had another skull over his face. Hey!

Shakey, shakey, shakey, gang, gang, gang, gang. Yeah, he sound like that, don't he? Rob Mayo's just, uh. Is that the Angry Comic or something like that? So, no, no, no. But we were driving back and a cop pulled me over. From the time he pulled me over, he goes, hey, we're speeding.

It was one of those like, school zone or whatever. It was like, it was nighttime though. I don't know, whatever it was, it was just like, I was doing like 35, I don't really speed, but I was like 35 in like a 15 or something. It was such a dumb speeding thing. And he pulled me over and he was, and this is far away from home,

so you know it's gonna be a pain in the ass if he gives the tickets. Right away, asked me if I'm Jay Okerson, and then I was like, again, he starts going like, man, I'm such a fan here, and talked to me for five minutes about the things I've done that he likes. And then he goes, just give me a second, my man,

and he went back to his car and showed up with, I think, three or four tickets he gave. It was some nuts. Really? Yeah, it was crazy. To your show, he had tickets that he gave you? No, no, no. Oh, no, no. That'd be great. Look, man, look, I've got tickets. Really? Yeah, it was crazy. To your show? He had tickets that he gave you? No, no, no.

That'd be great. Look, man, look, I've got tickets. Will you sign these? Hey, dude, I don't want these. And here's your ticket. It was wild. He gave me all the tickets. I'd like fight these tickets.

He didn't cut you a slack. He didn't cut me a break. Oh, those kind of tickets. OK. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he didn't give me a break at all. He was like, you know, I'm a fan. He goes, just give me.

And when he said he goes, he goes, give me two seconds, like quick formality, I gotta go back and kind of figure it out. And then he just hands me, he goes, here's these, and he goes, if you show up to court though, I won't be there, so that was his break, he was giving me. He showed up, I go, yeah, but I live seven hours drive from here, so what about that?

He was like, mm. He probably already wrote him. He can't unwrite him. He's trying to figure out a way to get Big J to come back in town. Oh, can you not unwrite them, Bobby? Because I'll out a way to get Big J to come back in town. Oh, can you not un-write them, Bobby? Because I'll tell you what I've seen before, which made me furious.

What's that? Tracy Morgan, when he would pull up outside the cellar all the time, and Chris Rock. I watched this happen to both of them. Yes. A cop was out there writing the ticket, and then outside Steve would come running out. I'd be like, no, no, it's Chris Rock or Tracy Morgan.

Those are the two I remember. And the cop was like, oh man, tell Tracy to please, and just watched him rip the ticket up. Not even like the, you have to process it out or something, like I was writing it, but it was, I'm not gonna give it to him kind of thing. It's a lie. I've seen this.

Was that before or after Black Lives Matter? Well before. Way before Black Lives Matter. I've seen it happen with both of them also, where I've seen Tracy come out drunk from upstairs and he's challenging the ticket guy, oh, my shit not good? My shit not good?

And then the guy, he's like, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you, but like, technically it's not good, like there's no registration. You know what I mean? You're drunk? Oh yeah, oh no. He's like, I'll let it go. You're drunk, this is a stolen vehicle.

I'll let it go. Who's that child in the back seat? That child in the back seat is white and not yours. Hilarious. There's a naked, drunk, white man in the front seat. An unregistered Lambo is Tracy Stouda. I've seen a lot of it. The guy goes, I'll let it go if you take a picture with me.

So which he poses for the picture, but Tracy never stops talking for the picture. And he's like, disrespecting the guy. You see this shit? He don't even have no merch enough in the mind. And he's like disrespecting the guy. You see this shit? He don't even have no merch enough in the mind to say he just wanna post on social media and get likes. First of all, what merch does Tracy have? What, a Walmart shirt?

I was just about to say the Walmart t-shirt. It's like a Hesh truck, but it's fucking smashed in. God damn. A Christmas Hesh truck. Yeah, the Christmas Hesh truck. Hey, where's the Tracy Morgan S truck? I think the other thing with Seinfeld, when he pulled up and the guy was giving him a ticket and Steve came out and he goes,

yo, that's Jerry Seinfeld's car. He goes, oh, my son's a big fan. Just tell him to sign the ticket, I'll squash it. He went in, he goes, Jerry, the guy was just about to give you a ticket. If you just sign it, he'll squash it. He goes, tell him to give me the ticket. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great.

What a dick. I know, I also kind of respect that, because I have said this. When cops, we lived on Fifth Street there and the cops were across the street, there was like one or two in there that were fans. And the rest of them always treated us like jerk-offs, like all the time.

And I would have things where I went over there and I was like, I'll tell you, there was a time when the guy used to just like slap his dick around in the window, which I would have gone to the cops about there and I was like, I'll tell you, there was a time when the guy used to just like slap his dick around in the window, which I would have gone to the cops about, I thought it was funny until I realized, we live on a street with a school also. He would slap his dick in your window of your car?

No, no, no, no, in his window. He put it on the glass? Yeah. I thought it was a guy walking up to your window in your car and just putting his dick in the car. That's great, dick slap in the car. That's kinda fucking bad. Dick slap all you fuckers.

He would take a shower and he would just like scrub his dick. Really? Oh. I want to go see that. There was a second floor in the window to the shower was on the street and he would just face the street like really scrubbing his dick every day. Like a romance. Like just saying.

Wait, was his shower in the windows? Yeah. Okay, because I had an apartment like that in Flatbush. I would do that but I was on the fourth floor. So I figured I was done. He also had a curtain. You also hope people were looking at your beautiful dick. Yeah. Yeah.

I would do that too, but it was the fourth floor. Still, I did it like this. So funny. It does feel good though, having an open window in the shower and just letting all of that cold air in. I would never in a million fucking years have my dick in a window. No, it's the shower.

I'm showering. With cold air coming in. You ain't got enough hang. If my wife walks in, I turn and face the corner like Blair Witch. Are you crazy? Don't come in yet, don't come in yet. Jay showers in the dark.

I do, and then if Christine walks in the shower, if Christine walks in the bathroom in the shower, I do the head immediate out of the things, like what are you doing here? I'm getting out in a second, don't look at it now. Oh God, I am such a strutter, you don't understand. I am naked even when it's cold in the house. Damn. Jay was giving me shit a couple weeks ago

because I was hanging out with you late night. Oh that was great. He was giving me, calling me a fucking boomer, and he was calling me a fucking boomer that I should go home. But we snapped on everybody. We were fucking. I felt so great to be able to snap with Bob.

We were snapping on other comedians. It was great. I was at the cellar. It was fucking boring. And then I'm like, I'm out. I walk around the corner. You're hanging out. I'm like, all right.

We're having a good time. There's some shit over here. And we started smashing. Dan Davies. Dan Davies, this fucking South African. Through his book in the streets. Oh, you're talking about Trevor Noah's opener. Trevor Noah's opener was there.

He hit some African dude and it was bad. Oh my God, we were fucking calling him coming to America. He should have a lion on his shoulder. All kinds of shit. We were smashing that fucking idiot. It was bad. And he was trying to come, we made him American black. Oh God.

Dan Davis, we threw his joke book all over the street. Remember that? We were talking. We were fucking with his stupid mustache that he grew, just so we could get in with that, Steve. Traveling the country just to get bullied. What was the other kid's name? I got, it was me, Dan Davis, the dude.

Who was the African dude? Who was the snap bonus? Who is it? I don't know, Dan Davis is the dude. Who else was Snapper when this? And I don't know, I don't know. He was the African dude. Are you the know? He doesn't have to know people to, yeah. He was with Matt Richards trying to chum up with Matt because Matt hosts all the shows.

Ah, dude. So we was like, yo, who the fuck is dude? And he was like, some dude from Africa. And then when you came around, you just, he was like, whoa, this is the guy. He was trying to snap back with that fucking aristocrat. It was bad. Why you do this stuff to me?

Some shit. And we were fucking. And then he finally went, listen. He finally went like this. He goes, listen, motherfucker. And we was like, do that. And we was like, talk black. Talk like that.

Talk like that. And it was great. And he tried a few times. But then he went back to Africa. He was like, yo, man, just get out of here, dog. Just beat it. That was fun. That was like old school. went back to Africa and was like, yo man, just get out of here, dog. Just beat it. He went back to Africa. That was like old school.

That was great, we was throwing joke books around, snapping on people's tongue. I just remembered my first ever, like the ball bust of comedy, like an older comedian, versus being like, how you would handle that not in a comedy, like older comic, younger comic setting, where they do something so shitty, but you're like, I think I'm gonna punch this guy.

Like, no, you can't punch that guy. Like, he's one of the big dogs here or whatever. But I remember walking up those, you remember the Laugh House, the stairs right away? I got to the top of the stairs and it was like the first week. I believe I started bringing like, I was like, I'll carry around a spiral notebook with a pen

because what if thoughts come to my head and I gotta jot some stuff down and it was the top of those steps if somebody goes is that your joke book let me see it and then just throw it all the way down you have to go down and get it it is accepting those things and as it landed there was nothing in it have you ever just said Jay Ogre's with his address Oh, your spiral knuckle. It stinks. And it's empty. And it's stickers from his childhood. Garbage bin. He decorated it before he roached it. He's got doodles in it.

He's been doodling it. The stamp property of. Well, I started at a time, too, where there was a time to do all the things I remember doing. I started at that laugh house, and he was just taking advice from people who were low level in it themselves. But they'd just been doing it for a year or two and kind of navigate it. So I went to Office Max and got a cheap,

I was like, I'm gonna be needing a lot of business cards from people, so I go, let me get a thing that's got a flip page of just business cards that I could take everyone's business card and call them for spots and shows. Oh, you had the thing where you put the business cards in it? Yeah, Rolodex. Oh, that's fun.

Not a Rolodex, almost like a baseball card, but you know, small. Oh, why are you? But that was just part of it, but it was that. It was an address book where you'd have to write everybody's thing down. Oh, shit. It's so bizarre, but not knowing and taking

those advice things to, dude, my fucking first business, my first and only business card, but someone found one recently. We had it somewhere. It was just like clip art, like a star. It said Big J, it had the wrong kind of microphone on it. You had the crooner microphone? Of course, so yeah, the fucking,

the Elvis 71 comeback. Soda can. Shoo-ba-lee-doo, cock-choo. That's the mic that come down, huh? All his jokes said, where are you from? Where'd you get that shirt? Is that your wife? I only wrote crowd work back then.

This is underwear Jay, right? This is when you used to get on stage and strip down and tell you why he's here. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't write that down in the book so much as I drew the schematics. But, Rob, would flip a black club 90 times. Because I was doing over mics around that time, so I used to see that. And he would flip a room. It was a swagger of that.

The best part was a swagger of that. And then Keith Robinson just crushing that down in me. When we went, the first time I met Keith, we did a gig in Minneapolis. My first time flying for a gig. Michael Blackson put me on a gig that I didn't realize I was, he didn't get the word that I was retired from comedy and gonna go back to college.

Word didn't spread. Never made its way to Michael Blackson. So he booked me on this gig and it was Keith and I did that show, it was a black show, and I killed with that bit at the end of it too. And Keith did really well, but like, I definitely had that thing of me getting negative, essentially, it was the biggest reaction of the night. And I remember really well, but I definitely had that thing, me getting negative, essentially, was the biggest reaction of the night.

And I remember Keith going, I didn't know Keith at all from anybody. So I'm there, and he seemed like a nice guy and everything, but he's trying to give me sage and sound comedy advice, for sure. And I'm almost looking over him, so I'm like, if you'll excuse me, dude, was it Keith?

I'm gonna go, I have to go take a picture of these two fat black ladies. These two fat black ladies wanna take a picture of me. I was always in front of an airbrushed picture of a Corvette or two pock or something. Or the stack of money. Yes, yes, yes. The money tax.

The two fat black ladies. Airbrushed. What type of underwear did you get down to? Leopard print. I'm gonna throw up. You should. Jay did it, man. He was committed. I was committed, but it was a hit. Before he had the jokes. The body building bit, yes, so I was doing, but I'm gonna throw up. You should. Jay did it, man. He was committed.

I was committed, but it was a hit. Before he had the jokes. The body building, but yeah, so I was doing, but I'm saying like that's exactly. Did you take it all off? I can only imagine, down to the underwear, yeah, but I would tell you, no, the tank top. Did you have to put your pants back on?

Yes, but the time it didn't work, that was the thing. It never seemed like a lot of time pulling those pants up until it's happening in a deafeningly silent room and you have to keep reaching for it and missing it. You just feel like you, it's like the same feeling you just got, you just got raped. Yes, Metzger said the time it happened, Metzger said I should have walked off with him around my ankle still and just like waddled back to the green rooms, it went so bad when I went bad, but it would fucking kill.

No, but you, it's not that, again, I didn't know any better so I don't even feel bad for that. What I feel bad for is, you know, I always thought I had a pretty good relationship with everybody for the most part, you know what I mean? And then I was like, at whatever level I was at, I was like, I think they're respecting the comedy, at least. And when you think back to something like, some fucking Bobby Slater, some fucking thing

that I would open for randomly at a place had to deal with me Coming back with like pull my pants back up and be like have fun headlining Like they should have been like, oh, yeah I guess I have to go up there and do talk with my words and do comedy instead of a fucking jerk off They may have something left but I think they're all exhausted. And then I was like, yeah, I just pulled the bit. And I'll tell you, the time before it bombed was because we switched venue.

What was the bit again? It was about, my stepfather hung out with a bunch of bodybuilder dudes, and he was like a weightlifter guy, and he said, bodybuilding's so gay, the way they do all this stuff. And then the music, the 2001 theme would come on. Oh, you had a tape?

You had to put a tape on? Yeah. You had to show up and go, up ago dude just hit it play it when I say Walker let me tell you something they were happy to do that for me because where we were going these places will be me and Kevin Hart and Kevin Hart gave him a fucking a CD binder I was like all right this one check for three and a half minutes in this one when I say this word, you're gonna go, he had a fucking list. He had a stack of CDs he had to give you. Some of them were mine, he'd be like,

he had a joke, Kev, that was like, hey, this is how different, it's so funny just being so young and being like, at the time I was like, it's good, Kev, it's killing. And I meant it. This is how different ethnicities walk into the club. That's all it was. So he would use my Metallica CD for like that.

You know what I mean? And then he would go so far. When I hosted at the cellar, there was one comic, I forget his fucking name, but he had a tape and I had to squeeze, this is back at the old cellar, I had to squeeze in between the crowd to go to that back room. Oh, that little booth these days.

And I had to do, as the host, you had to go back and listen to his whole set, and then when he said this, you had to push play. And then you had to fucking push stop and then play again. I, and the place would go mental every fucking time. I wanted to rip the tape out of the tape and just snap it so many times. And everybody hated him, but he fucking murdered. There's something about gimmicks that...

Muffin's love gimmicks. They love fucking bells and whistles. Do you remember Willie Robo? Yeah, we all hate him, yes. Willie Robo would fucking like, I hate him as a human being, but he's... He's a terrible human being. One of the only people I've ever almost like,

literally had to like, they stopped me from fighting somebody. Usually the people with the gimmicks, you like them as people, they have to at least be a nice person. He definitely doesn't. He's not a nice person in real life. This guy's not a good dude. But he doesn't think of the, I'm saying,

this is the kind of kill that like, unless you're physical, you'll never even understand. Is this it? What is it? The gorilla, right? It's like a fucking joke. It's towards the end, I think. Oh, this might be it.

This is a mystery play. Yeah, yeah. I know that's right, and it's the shimmy that gets it, that right there. Oh, yes, that gets it right there. Mm-hmm. Woo! Wanna do that to me, boy?

Oh, straight. By the way, he was born with, I think, three hair lips. Oh, really? I don't know, but I mean, his lips are all crazy. Yeah, yeah, something weird happened there. It's gar tissue. But you can't argue this is fucking pretty silly. It's funny as hell.

The comics that know that they could do this, what do you think that's like practicing that at home? How do you get your 10,000 hours in on that? You have a special room in your house that this chair can slide on? Yeah, you got to practice those actives. Have you ever been to a comics house that has a stool and a mic stand set up

for that kind of shit? No. You have? Yeah. Who? Solo. You all know Solo Jones kind of shit? No. You have? Yeah. Who? Solo. You all know Solo Jones?

Solo Jones? No. Sounds like a shoot. Is that a cartoon character? Is that a Black superhero? It's funny, because he's like in Atlanta doing a lot of I'm Solo Jones. But yeah, I remember I met him on the set of Law and Order.

We were doing background work together. And he took me to his apartment afterwards And he was showing me like all of the green screen work that he does in camera work But he had a stool and a mic stand so he could practice all his physical stuff He could do stuff in the house. I mean I did a show with a guy once where he was rehearsing his set verbatim Before his set like going but he But he was waiting for the crowd laughs as they were laughing, but he's in the back.

He's like, yeah, I know, you like that one. Like he would talk to Buddy. Not that part. He did all... He'd anticipate the laughs? All the parts. And the funny part is he just bombed. There was no laughter.

But he was going, you like that? He still did like that one. They were like, no,. But he was going, you like that? He still did, you like that one? They were like, no, we actually did it. And we showed that by not laughing. Remember the guy, remember the old black guy where he'd have a cup in his jacket? You remember that? Who was it?

He used to do the boss at all the time. He was an old black dude. He used to show up and he'd come up and he was very distinguished. He had like an ascot. So it'd be like me, J. Moore, Patrice, Norton. You know, Chappelle. And then this guy would go up and be like, hello.

And he would do, William something. And in the middle of his set, he would do a joke and then he would just pull a cup, a full glass drink that was in his pocket. He didn't have like a masturbating joke, did he? Dude, that was always the case. I got a friend of mine back in Philly, and he's my friend, so I'll put this out there.

Nate the landlord, that's my homie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nate, but Nate used to wear slinkies in a bra underneath of his outfit so that he had this joke about when you go take an old woman home and she's got slinky titties, and then he pulls it out and does the whole thing. But doesn't he do that with a microphone?

I do that with a mic now and a cord. But the thing was. And the sound of the mic hitting the ground. The thing about it was he would show up to places like and look for guest spots. And if you give him the guest spot, he already had the bra and the slinkies on. That's a silly thing.

Buc used to wear. How do you get pussy with that? Buc used to wear that fake dick. Remember, Buc used to wear the fake dick for slinkies on. That's a silly thing. Buck used to wear that fake dick. Remember, Buck used to wear the fake dick for all the college shows. Buck Bob used to have a fake dick under a leotard and tear away dress pants so that he could do this. Another one that he would need you to have the music

and he would have the thong song. He would always invite somebody to come up, usually a dude for his birthday, and be like, nah, I'ma buy you a drink. Come on, man, dance, like really dance. And once you dance and the guy actually gets into it, you look over and bucked and ripped his clothes off and he's standing in a leotard with a big hard dick

going down his legs. That guy went to prison after that. He went to prison with the dick? He went to prison after he was doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you ever do like, I did a college once and I just improv this thing with a kid, and the music came on, and we did this whole crazy

in the moment improv. Wow, why? It was just, I don't know. Like a yes and. It was, I don't know, it was this dance, and he started dancing, and then the whole, it was just this moment that happened. They rebooked me, and I tried.

I tried to re-live the moment. I tried to re- me. And I tried to re-live the moment. Because I went up trying to do jokes and it wasn't working. And they were like, you're famous. I was like, we talk about you all the time. Oh my God, please. And they booked me back. It was for more money. Buddy, let me, I tried my ass off.

And it, you can't re-live the moment. I brought a kid on stage. And this kid wasn't intoive the moment. Buddy, let me, I tried my ass off and it, you can't relive the moment. I brought a kid on stage and this kid wasn't into it, dude. I bombed so bad trying to improv a moment that, and all the kids that booked me, they were up at the top smiling, and when I looked up, they were all gone except for one kid just looking at me sad. I have a question, does any other city have,

I know there's like black clubs in other cities, but one thing I thought was cool, like Philly kinda seemed like a New York, like was there was a scene to it. It was its own scene. It was, I mean some of the most, some of the most, no, no, no, black clubs. Oh, black clubs.

But, or black rooms or whatever, but like in New York had a bunch of them too. But Philly had a bunch, it wasn't just a laugh house, there was some other things going around. But I will say, like that's, probably more than a Boston mainstream open mic, I would put Philadelphia's local laugh house scene, the characters in that, as some of the all time.

Oh yeah, that Wednesday was crazy, dog. Beefy, funny. Boston had none. I mean these people are like, no black scene. They had no black scene. I believe, I think that's true. I don't remember ever even going out there slates came with slates came later with Jonathan I've got his last name with chair. He did slates when we came out there was no black. It was just rooms

Yeah, we came to New York was my first Sunday to Boston Sunday at the boss. It was my first time I ever did a black room It was that was that wasn't even a good gauge though, because that room was fucking hot. I did La Bat, I don't know if you remember. La Bar Bat, dude. La Bar Bat? I ate shit there plenty of times.

It was the after work comedy jam, hosted by Talent, who they weren't that stoked to see either. They just wanted to go hook up after work. Yeah, it was like trying to do comedy at a waiting to exhale party or something. It didn't make sense, everyone was dressed real nice after work, and thenon McGowan's stage in like a football jersey and they'd make him laugh

because they remember him always from Def Jam. It wasn't that far removed from that. I went there with Keith one night, he goes, come on, you're gonna go up in this black room. I'm like, all right, because I did Boston a couple times and I did good and I went up there and fucking ate my twat and he put me up last, what a douche, put me up last. You guys ready for one more?

They're like, no. You got me? But the characters we had. I had my baggy boot jeans on, and my fucking flannel. Oh shit. Tommy Too Smooth, I may have shown you before. He was the man of four faces. Tommy?

Yeah, the man of four characters. No. Yeah, Tommy was like, he would go on, he would wear, he did a character named, we looked this up I think once, Feliciano Fernandez. Absolutely. And his move was in that, again this is like the same show off your dick thing, Feliciano Fernandez

would wear yellow pants. For some reason that character didn't wear underwear, so when he would go, his character would be like, something, something, fuck that! When he would say fuck that, I mean his dick, it was all anybody talked about in the room. You forget what he was talking about, you're like, are we gonna get shut down?

It's insane. Have you seen the viral clip of him recently? There's a viral clip? He went viral. He's telling a story about how Michael Jackson beat up Tupac over what's-his-name's daughter. It was one of my clips, so if we're talking about Megan P.

Tommy Too Smooth? Yeah, yeah. It's a fascinating, I don't know what show it is, I just see it, and the more people are starting to piggyback on this story now as a result of it, it's spreading like wild. Yeah, really. Good for Tommy Too Smooth.

Now Tommy, can you tell it to me is Lula Mae Thompson? Lula Mae killed, I remember one time. What's Lula Mae? What is Lula Mae? Well that's what got him. That's another one. What made him get his, by the time I started doing comedy, Tommy was in Philly, in the black circuit for sure,

was like one of the dogs. He was one of the guys. Even if he was doing comedy for four years maybe at that point, I have no idea. But he was one of the guys because he did Comic View, which was big credit at the time. And killed in Comic View. And he murdered with this like Lula Mae character.

Old grandma character. Yeah. I wanna see it, can we see it? But he just sings songs, always like best singing songs. Was it good? It was crazy. It would get the crowd going. There's the right answer.

Because he would get the crowd capped, he would get them clapping in unison and start building up a synergy. Curly Wig, thank you, David. Yeah, yeah. Dave, that was so, energy. Thank you, Dave. Yeah, yeah. Dave, that was so, thank you so much, Dave. He goes, Jay, was it good? Dave was, it was, the crowd was into it.

Look at that, but I remember. He started freezing. I used to be sitting in the back of this room watching this go down at this place. Oh yeah. He'd be killing. Murdering. He was like you didn't want to follow him.

Because he would like, that was kind of level the audience. I think Lamont should do this. Who? Lamont? You know Lamont, oh I forget it, nice talking to you. Who's Lamont? You don't know Lamont?

You know I'm talking about Lamont. You don't know Lamont? You know I'm talking about Lamont? Forget it. Look, he's smoking angel, that's it. No, I thought Jay would remember, but he doesn't. You don't know Lamont? It's all right, it's all right. You don't know Lamont? It's all right. It's all right. You don't know Lamont?

It was before you. I forget it. From Roxboro. I get it. Keep on. Move on. I remember all his songs. I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life

when you went, who's Lamont? Who is this guy? Who is he? No. No, that's not him. It's just A Lamont. She just looked up someone we know named Lamont. Lamont Jackson. That was Lamont. That was Lamont. Yeah, it was Lamont. It was Lam A LaMotte. She just looked up someone we know named LaMotte. LaMotte Jackson.

That was LaMotte. That was LaMotte. Yeah, it was LaMotte. Yeah, it was LaMotte. That was who I was talking about. LaMotte. I grew up with a LaMotte. I grew up with a LaMotte.

I remember LaMotte. Yeah, it was a LaMotte. Four doors down from me, a flaming homosexual since we were six years old. LaMotte, yeah. Like my mom as a result. LaMotte Harris. Oh, Ramont. That's Ramont.

No, there's two. There's a LaMotte and a Ramont. They're brothers. There's a LaMotte. Lamont Harris. Oh, Ramon. That's Ramon. No, there's two. There's a Lamont and a Ramon. They're brothers. There's a Lamont. Lamont. One is like nose ring. One looks like you. No, Ramon.

I know Ramon. And then there's another one with the high top. It's Ralph. It's Ralph and Ramon. Ralph is the one that made it. Yeah. Okay. He was on Seinfeld when it was like us.

Ramon is DJing on Instagram. That was more of the, I'll tell you what, Ramon Harris, same as several people. I took his comedy class, so I'm not. You took a comedy class? My first year of comedy, yeah. I took one too. When I was like, I was 19 years old. I didn't know what to do.

I was 19! I was living in a house with this Maria Falzoni, who was like a big comic in Boston. And she taught a comedy class. And I was paying like 125 for a room in her house and she made me take her class because I live there. And I got into a fight with the speaker that she brought in because he was like, you have to be clean,

you can't talk about sex. It's about seven, I go, seven minutes of clean material, the Tonight Show. That's not fun though. And I about seven, I go seven minutes of clean material, the Tonight Show. And I told him, I go, listen bro, I got out of jail like four years ago. And all my life, alls I do is I try to fuck and fucking have fun. What am I supposed to talk about?

I don't know this life. Alls my life I've had to fight. Alls my life I had to fight and fuck. Alls my life I've had to fight. Bobby Se life. All my life I had a fight and fuck. All my life I had a fight. Bobby Sealy. That's Bobby Miss Minnie. I got kicked out of the class. Founder of the Black Panther Party.

Bobby Sealy. Bobby Sealy. Comedy class Ramont Harris. It's always two, it's always someone who's like. I took it, I took it. I gotta ask everybody. It was an improv class. That's all it was.

I think usually the club just kind of taps somebody on the shoulder like, yeah you you wanna make a little dollar? No, I know, but the ball bag to be like, I've got valuable information. I'm 50 and still live where I live. Yeah. Yeah. The picture, the guy who does it.

I still live where I live is such a perfect thing. The guy who does it at the comic strip, I mean, they have a picture of him that when I first went in there, didn't you say that too? It looks like it's a memorial to a dead person to you sweetler Is he still teaching it up there? It's a crime if he is someone should put bring up charges on this You can't charge because the teacher should at least know anything about the subject or teaching right right right? Oh shit

Why we gotta take a break? Oh, yeah Take a break. Oh, yeah Good time. Oh shit. Oh, he's a great time Dave temple Derek Gaines are currently on the let's get pizza tour with dates coming up a city winery in Philly November 29th from the creek in the cave in Austin on December 12th after that They're gonna be in Houston, New York City, Tacoma. Those are fun cities for tickets. It's gonna be fun You guys are doing the right move by the way go with friends. Yeah So you just don't have too much fucking traveling they have to be lonely and shit like that absolutely take it from me and Jay to the lonely shit

hits him down and he doesn't answer the phone when you call we gotta talk each other off a Taco Bell ledges late night tickets and all tour dates visit link tree slash nnfa Derek's also gonna be filming a special on December 10th at second city in Brooklyn. That room is beautiful. Beautiful, yeah, buddy. Beautiful room, I just did it for the festival. That's again, Second City in Brooklyn, December 10th.

Dave Temple's gonna be back in Austin at the Sunset Strip Comedy Club on January 18th. Make sure you check them out, follow them on socials. Make sure you check out Jay this Sunday. He's got one show they added Sunday. They didn't add it, it was there the whole time. I just didn't know about it the whole time Make sure you check him out a helium comedy club this week. He's gonna be there all that sold out Everything else is sold out and then December 1st. He'll be at Stanford St. Louis West Palm Beach

For tickets and all other dates visit big Jay comedy can't say no now Jay Open it for tomorrow, but I there's thing, but let me tell you something. Yes. There might be an opening for that on Sunday. Sunday. There you go. Now you're in. I'm going to be all over.

Uncle Vinny's is gone. I'm going home. I got a big family reunion, so I won't be doing that. But Gramercy in New York City with the regs. And I'm going to be in Beacon, New York at the theater up there. And then I'm gonna be all over the place. PunchUp.live. Of course, every Tuesday night at the Fat Black PutsKat Lounge.

The Comedy Show. And I got a new web, Robert Kelly Comedy on YouTube. All my stand-up's gonna be up there. And check out our show, the Christmas show's happening. Absolutely. And tomorrow you're gonna hear the prerecord this week. And then we'll be back on Monday, everybody. Have a great Thanksgiving. Thank you so much, Dave. Thank you so week and then we'll be back on Monday everybody. Have a great Thanksgiving.

Thank you so much Dave, thank you so much Derek. Thanks for coming in guys, you guys are hilarious. See you guys next time. Bonfire.