The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Glory Days with Hank Azaria

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Hank learned to sing and started a Springsteen cover band for charity and is going on tour! Bob tries to connect with Hank by telling him that he does voices also and lives near him. Jay and Bob inquire about his many brilliant acting roles and his many years of sobriety. Jacob is a Hank Azaria look-alike and it turns out that they have similar ancestors. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly. Hi guys, I'd like to welcome our guest today. He's actually from Queens, New York, which I don't know if you guys knew that. He knew Ray Romano in passing, just on the subway passing by in the F train. And Liam Remini, I think was an old friend from the neighborhood. And then he got into, he was actually a minor league baseball player for a couple of years. And then he got into stand up back in the 80s with me. And now, I mean, he's known for his brilliant acting and voice work.

And he has a new show coming out at the Brooklyn Bowl, Friday, November 8th, with his Bruce Springsteen tribute band, the Easy Street Band. Please welcome an old good friend, Hank Azaria. The crowd goes crazy. I can't believe you got through it. Thank you, Colin. I can't believe you got through it. Very kind.

I always thought that was true too. I checked out when he called us a podcast. Yeah, I mean, what the fuck, dude? We're in a serious XM building. You didn't come up to the serious XM podcast studios Yeah, you didn't go to the above the Comedy Cellar to do this By I call and check out Collins new special right now Was it pleasure to meet you man? Thank you so much for being here Thanks for having me great to be on to talk about big fan big springsteen show

Yeah, man, I'm good friends with your friend Johnny Ailes. Love John Ailes. Just texted him randomly the other day just because I miss him and haven't seen him in a long time. I was in Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll with him. Oh cool. And he always used to talk about how amazing you were and he loves you.

He's right about that. Yeah, you are amazing. I am quite amazing. No, I love, I really do love him. Yeah, he's the best. We met like 20 years ago on a job, more, 23 years ago on a job, and we remain really good friends. We worked on some documentary stuff together.

He's awesome. Yeah, he's like an actor, actor. Oh, he's great. We were on there with John Corbett, who's- Yeah, in Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll. Loved John, great guy, but totally loose and having fun. But John, we were partners on the show. We did a lot of our stuff, us together.

But he used to help me all the time with shit. He was, because Leary was, you know, I was friends with Leary, and he would kinda, I swear to God, and I don't know, I'm friends with Leary. Don't give me air quotes. I have his number. I'm writing a show. I really am friends with John Ailes.

That's not, I believe that. I'm even gonna fact check that I believe it so much, but this. I'm friends with Leary. What are you talking about? He's Leary of the fact that you are friends with him. Yeah. Are you?

Thank you. You ever been to his house? His new house or his old house? French. Yeah. Good one. Are you? Thank you. You ever been to his house? Uh, his new house or his old house? Either. No. Okay. Didn't think you were gonna fact check that. Good bluff though.

Uh, thanks. The one in Bedford or the one in San? It is in Bedford, how did you know that? You could have shot that down. I see him up there, I have a house up in Bedford. I'm up there. Is that right? I live in Bedford. I see Dennis on the tennis court every. I see him up there. I have a house up in Bedford. I'm up there. Is that right? I live in Bedford.

I see Dennis on the tennis court every once in a while up there. I don't live in that part of it, but I live. It's just a sawmill, right? There's nothing fancy. I live in the cul-de-sac. But yeah, I live up in Catona. Oh, I'm right next door.

No shit, let's hang out, dude. Yes. Let's go to the bakery. Let's see how this goes. Wow, you're really, you're just like Edie Falco. You're just like Edie Falco. I mean, I moved up there to meet you people and make new friends Okay, Edie gave you the cold shoulder. By the way, you know Hank you now become the list of people that he has said

We're moving up there. I'm like why this place he goes Ryan Reynolds always at the bagel shop Goes blah blah blah now you're now you know that i consider people that awkwardly and you gotta be the guy who other people feel bad for the story to go now you did the radio show colin quinn was there a introduction you need to go all the time when it's been a long way to know you know you have a few time i'm actually

stalking ryan reynolds in a grid pattern on time where i go to the bakery at certain times, and I just check it off, not there then. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be friends with Ryan. You might have blown me off, Hank, but Ryan's gonna be my pal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like living out the film Looper,

except you're stalking Ryan. If he could just get to Ryan, if he could just get to Ryan and give him this folder he's got full of ripped out pieces of paper of poems he's written on, he would see. You guys need to be friends. We should be friends. We have a thing. You guys should be friends.

Yeah, I mean, Leary actually sent me a text message. He goes, hey, you moved up here. Don't fuck up my town. Yeah, he speaks for all of us. Please don't. Is there a group? Well, we all, there's a resident group and you did come up in one of the meetings.

I would say. What? I'll pay an association fee. Well, there might be some problems coming in the neighborhood because Bobby, I will tell you, has given his son the keys to the castle and given the entire, his 11-year-old boy, the entire basement floor

unsupervised to run free of how he feels. Really? Yeah, well. And his reason why, you want to know? Sure. It's because no one did that for him when he was a child. Yeah. No one gave you a basement to yourself?

No. No. Yeah, me neither. I guess nobody had that. You're not supposed to have that at 11 years old. It's crazy. I guess nobody had that. You're not supposed to have that at 11 years old. It's crazy. I guess they didn't do that in the 70s. How's that going for him?

Is he alone down there or is he with friends? No, it's just, it's a split level ranch. There's only a couple stairs. We can hear him. So we were going to put him upstairs. We have three bedrooms upstairs. Oh, he's like sleeps down there. That's like his room down there.

His bedroom's downstairs, but downstairs his drum set, his jiu-jitsu mats, he's like sleeps down there. That's like his room his bedrooms downstairs, but downstairs his drum set his jiu-jitsu mats He's got a TV his video every all the loud shit is down He's to come on upstairs is adults. You know what I mean? It's a it's an adult are increasing the likelihood that he will remain living there till he's like 38 years old That I don't even think about that. That's a great point. Oh, I had 11 that's early Yeah, is it I think so. I'm my son's 15 now when he was a little kid He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid

He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid He was a little kid. He was a little kid. He was a little kid I'm gonna put he actually locked the door for the first time. Oh, I had 11 that's early. Yeah, is it? I think so. I'm my son's 15 now when he was 11. Did he have his own? Like basement no area of the house No No No No, is it strange now touring though? It's like this is the first time you really toured with something like this

Yeah, but touring I mean mean, we are touring. We have like 15 dates that are next year and counting. But it's not like I'm gonna go on the road for six months. Got you, it's like go, come home. Maybe twice a month, a lot local, and then go and come back. So I can't, I don't wanna leave my family for that long. Do they come with you?

Does your son, like he's 15, he must lose his mind that his dad's a movie star, TV star. You don't know what's coming. Do you have any other children? He doesn't. Well, not a lot. By the time they're 13, as soon as a teen is connected, they could not care less about anything you do.

What? Literally, you could put an S on your chest, fly over the city and and you know Have x-ray vision come out here eyes like this. Okay. Can I say my friends like sure sure sure I just Know and I mean you kiss him if you kiss him Wait on the mouth the way you kiss him in front of his friends. They don't make out with them He's gonna be he's gonna be mortified. He's right, these are the things you have coming. No, I mean, he's happy that I'm happy.

He's not like he's a big Springsteen fan, so the music means a lot to him. And he thinks it's cool, you know, he does, but, you know, they only get so excited about what you're doing. Has he been to the show? He has. He saw you on stage, and he must have been like, what the fuck? He thought it was cool.

That's about the most, I mean, the fact that, you know what it is, the fact that he didn't find it mortifying was a tremendous five-star gold review Like that's about the best you're gonna get that was not horrible for me really yeah great Does he yeah, this is fucking this is does he have no like attachment to like Simpsons or anything? The ideas of that that you're on that or is it just kind of like that was work Especially because you can't see you on just kind of like, I thought it was work, especially because you can't see on voiceover stuff. I mean, he knows about it.

He's grown up with it, so he doesn't find anything unusual. I mean, he knows that not everybody has that job. Sure, sure. But he prefers, you know, it's not all his taste. Like, he prefers Rick and Morty, he prefers anime. Right. So is he gonna be, my fear is that my kid's gonna become a stand-up comic.

I do not want him to follow in my footsteps. I would love for him to do something else, but if he does, that's fine, but I would love for him to do something else. I would love music, he plays sax, he plays the drums, I'm all for that, but I don't want him to have to fucking go on the road, play, I don't want him to go somewhere where his dad's old photo, like when I was fat,

is just my headshot's on the wall. And he's like, ugh. I did it. I did it. I made it. I remember when the Comedy Cell had two different versions of me. They had.

The before and after you? Well they had when I first moved to New York, sexy Bobby, and then they had my fat photo like four feet away. They have a new one now where you're holding your old pants in front of you. I remember these two hot chicks were under my sexy photo. I was standing there waiting to go on

and they were talking, they were like, wow, he's cute. Is he going on tonight? And I was like, it's me. He is going on tonight. Yeah, I wouldn't want that from my son either, what you just described. What is your kid into? What's your kid into?

No, he is more like his mother. He is musically gifted. He's a very, very good tennis player. He's 15 and he's six, three almost. And he's very technically gifted too. Like he's very drawn to lighting and sound. Yeah. But, and he likes doing technically gifted to, like he's very drawn to lighting and sound. Yeah. But, and he likes doing that for productions,

but he has no desire to prance around in front of people like an idiot. So your kid is bigger than you. Yeah, much. My kid has 11 same shoe sizes as me. Is that right? Where's my pants? Where's my clothes now?

Wow. Yeah, he's gonna be a monster. Is your wife's side of the family large people? My wife's brothers are all six four,. Yeah, I'm same with my wife Yeah, they're just gorillas. I remember when I met her. I was just like god. Yeah, I have a daughter and she's six foot tall 22 yeah, he's not as huge. Yeah, her boyfriend's bigger than him though. That's good. They're not together anymore I don't think did they break up. Yeah, oh shit. What happened racism? Finally got the top now.

No. He said. I mean he was black though, yes, but no there was no racism. He said really. Wow. He said really? He was concerned.

What a nice guy. He was finding racism. Turns out she's a racist. Such a casual way to sum it all up. All racism, I don't wanna go into it. Anyway. Racism. I told her I wouldn't tell the story.

But here's the thing, my wife has disconnected from, she doesn't give a shit, anything I do. Does your wife still get excited about that you're going on, I mean, this must be great because she went through, how long you been with her? We've been together 21 years, we've been married for 11 years. So she's been with you on the ride, right?

Going on. Much of it. Much of it on the ride and experienced it. And now this is you going on tour as a musician. This must be something new for her to be like, wow, this is great. Is she into it? I can actually talk a lot. I could talk ad nauseum about this.

There's a lot to this. Cause the short answer is yes, she's into it. Again, she's much more happy for me. Cause I get such joy out of this than she is all that excited about it. It turns out, have you guys seen the play? It's on Broadway, it's brilliant. Still your phonic? Hang on one second. Look at us. No, never. Then answer the question. I still want to hear the thing you're saying but I can tell you before you get past Broadway's show.

I think even you guys would like this because it's big. Is there nudity. There is no nudity. There are lovely women in it. But fully dressed? Yes, for the most part. We don't know. It's based on Fleetwood Mac, the making of the Rumors album and how they were all romantically involved with each other while they were making that album.

It's really brilliant. I think it won like a bunch of Tonys and I do highly recommend it. Well, I don't know how we don't know about it, Christine. We're a huge Fleetwood Mac fan. Oh, you should definitely check it out. Christine would love to wear Dutch lace all the time. The music in it is not Fleetwood Mac music.

It's original music that is very Fleetwood Mac-esque, and it's very good. But anyway, I highly recommend it. So we're watching this play with my wife, and she has to leave it in a mission because she's having complete PTSD because in her 20s, that was her life. She was very, she dated a lot of band members,

a lot of musicians. And spent a lot of time in recording studios and touring and at clubs and didn't have a great time. And she found it a little triggering that all of a sudden her comedian stay at home husband decided he wanted to go play rock and roll a lot and she's like, you gotta be kidding me. Like not you too, you gotta be kidding me.

And then she saw, I literally should dad about it, it's all for charity and it's love for Springsteen, it's a nostalgia act. I was gonna say it's like a tribute, I mean if you're trashing hotels that'd be hilarious. Yeah, I'm not like that. I was thinking it's like a tribute, but it's not like you're gonna be, I mean, if you're trashing hotels, that'd be hilarious. Yeah, I'm not like that. Exactly. I'm not.

I mean, this guy's on the edge, man. I'm sober 18 years, you know. Started doing meth. Yeah, there's nothing, yeah, I joke around a lot. In the Bruce Russell series, well, actually, for some reason, I pick an English rocker for this. I'm like, look, I know that it can't be a lot of drugs,

but it also can't be no drugs, right? It has to be a happy medium, right? Not like a lot of groupies, but it can't be a lot of drugs, but it also can't be no drugs, right? That's be a happy medium Not like a lot of groupies, but copy no groupies. It's not fair So can you fill in for me on the show next week? Sure They've been dying for somebody with great voices. We used to have a voice guy What happened to him Dan Soder? He went on to write cartoons. I think I'm sorry. He seems actually genuinely sad about Which hurts me He went on to write cartoons, I think. I'm sorry, he seems actually genuinely sad about it. No, I'm happy. Which hurts me too.

No, good. Good things to bad garbage, because now Bobby Kelly's here. I do voices. Bobby does voices. What do you got? This is Joe Pesci. He'll knock your dick in the dirt. Let's hear Joe Pesci.

What the fuck? I do it, and sometimes he gets fucking mad at me, but it ain't got no... What the fuck kind of people are they? Hank Azaria's in here. He's fucking up in Katona. I went to the bakery. He fucking said, hi to this cocks here, he's fucking up in Katona, I was over in... I went to the bakery, he fucking said hi to this cock sucker, and he fucking blew me off.

Fuck him, fuck fucking Edie, fuck fucking Dennis, could kiss my cock, fucking motherfucking asshole. That's pretty good. I'm gonna answer as Deniro. That's pretty good. That's not bad. That's not bad. That's pretty fucking good. Thank you, Bobby, thank you. Also, I like to do young Al, but not old Al. Old Al sounds like every old actor now. Why do they all talk like this past a certain age?

You're right, the good one is the young, and justice for all. Old Al is Eddie Murphy in the Jewish guy in the barbershop. Yes, it's a little more, yeah, I don't know all Jewish men on the Simpsons. That's crazy. But that was a good passion. When you're doing the band and you're out there,

do you, in the middle, are you funny? What are you doing in between? Yeah. Yeah? Well, circling back to my wife, so I Started that I turned 60 last April I look great and thank you very much and I had very mixed feelings about that

You know what cuz like 60s not the new anything 60s just 60. Oh 50s the new 40. You got 20 summers left exactly So no totally you really have thoughts like that. Bobby stole that bit. Bobby stole that bit from me. I did not steal that bit. Billy Crystal did it too. No, no, the 20 Summers Live is a D. Unkohl bit. I think Billy Crystal did it too. No, this guy took my bit and he makes it like I took his bit.

Don't get involved. All right, I'm gonna stay out of this. The point is, I'm getting old and I was having mortal thoughts and I'm not really a party guy, but I didn't wanna just like, normally I just try to ignore my birthday, but I'm not really a party guy, but I didn't wanna just like,

normally I just try to ignore my birthday, but I was like, that feels depressing. So I'm like, I'm gonna have a party, what would make it anywhere near joyful for me? And I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna try to sing like Springsteen and not tell anyone and put together a whole band and like reverse surprise party it and See if I can learn to sing because I never really took singing seriously

I was singing character on the Simpsons or even on Broadway. I was just there to be the funny guy who could carry a tune So I you know, I've been imitating the way Bruce talks and some 15 because I idolize a guy so I thought well, I'll try to sing like him. And that became a huge thing. I've never worked any harder on any vocal, anything in my career. Switching keys and kind of learning to sing and singing like him was,

I'd have to unlock it like line by line on songs. And I would get kind of excited because I felt like I was getting in. I'd play it for my wife I said listen this listen listen to dark listen to darkness on the edge of town sweet listen to darkness and she kind of looked at me and nod and smile for months right and then one day I came in and said listen listen to this listen to darkness and I look up and she's crying she was crying I was like what what's the matter, what's wrong? She said, you sound good.

I was like, are you surprised? She's like, yeah, because you've been horrible up to this point. I thought she was having a meltdown because it was like, it's like living with Daniel Day-Lewis, like you're just Bruce Springsteen all day. No, I wasn't, you know. And I was, honey, please.

Well, I thought I could. Listen to this again. I thought I could keep it from her and three days into that, she was like, is there a, please. Well, I thought I could keep it from her. And three days into that, she was like, is there a reason you scream singing like Bruce Springsteen 24 seven? And she told me then that she was working up the nerve to tell me not to do it because I did not sound good.

She was like, really? So the tears were of relief. Relief of not being embarrassed. To have to lie to you. Or tell me, you know, honey, I know you're enjoying trying, but it's not good. My wife only laughs at me when I fall downstairs or when I stub my toe is the only time she's ever,

I've ever seen her smile. She's been to a lot of my shows. I've looked out in the crowd, she's just staring at me blankly. Did she used to laugh? Well, when I first met her, how do you think I got her? Exactly. My bit was this.

Skl-l-l-l-l. I would do that after every joke. That's gold. That's sure fun. I'd be like, chicks are weird, right? Skl-l-l-l-l. And she was like, and she slid off her chair. Was that really your thing?

It was my thing. It wasn't not his thing. I gotta get the video. I do have video of me back in Boston I can't say that I blame her felt like that got old no well it did get old and my my fake buck teeth I stopped using I hear Christine's I Hear Christine's fake laugh at home at all of the things I say there you guys marry No, no, no, we should be

I mean, I'm never going to relive that again. Yeah, common law, maybe? Yes. Can I ask you a question, honest? Are you guys all married? I'm married. Jacob's super lonely. DJ Lou's super lonely.

Black Lou is married for sure. Bobby's married. Paco's married in the Philippines to a man. Bobby's married in the Philippines to a man. He let him come here to do video for us. They're both doctors, and they've been married since they were three. He's going to actually replace the guy in the Philippines to a man. He let him come here to do video for us. They're both doctors and they've been married since they were three. He's gonna actually replace the guy

in Journey in a couple months. Boy. Wow. I'm hearing him up. I really lit a powder keg there. A comedic powder keg. So with my, I found this really funny. So at first your wife finds you genuinely funny and laughs.

And then you're kind of funny. And then there's some courtesy laughs. And then there's some courtesy laughs. And then there's like eye rolling, right? There's like, oh, okay, great, thanks for the bits. And then what I found really funny, and most of my married friends have this, no reaction at all. And I mean not like as if you didn't exist.

You say a stupid joke, no eye roll roll even just as if no one's there even Yeah, no registration because there isn't how about this? She's dead inside. I find that hilarious because I'll come in and I'll do you know I wake up in the morning like I have to it's almost like coffee I need to like trot out some stupid voice or some stupid bit Whatever and like I'll hit my wife with, like I have a stupid running, like I do Snake on The Simpsons,

you know, this sort of almost Jeff Spicoli character, right, and I'll hit her with that voice. Honey, what's your favorite war? Mine's the Peloponnesian. To which, there's no eye roll, there's no anything, it's like nothing was said, nothing, I wasn't even, I'm like ghosts, I'm like am I even there? The only emotion I got out of my wife

was when menopause hits her chest and her head turns, yeah, the hot flash hits, and then she has to open up all the windows, and then she just disappears for a half hour. That's the only time I see emotion out of my wife. Or if Colin Quinn says hi, then she just disappears for a half hour. That's the only time I see emotion out of my wife. Or if Colin Quinn says hi, then she sparks up like a young little Asian girl. That's better than her being annoyed at you all the time actively.

I guess. I mean, I would like, I don't know. I would like the old, I mean, what are you gonna do? You miss the passion, the highs and lows of the old excitement? She's, you know what I find? She's slowly turning into her mother. Well, we're all doing that.

Yeah, but I don't know my dad, so I don't know where to go. Right. I think I might turn into you. I might start doing some- Feel free, let me know what goes for you. Yeah, she is turning into her mom. Yeah, like she's at the kitchen table. Her mother was at the kitchen table, same chair, every time I went to her house.

She sat at the kitchen table, even in hospice. She did home hospice when she was dying, smoking a cigarette, eating some type of meat. I came over one night, she had a piece of lamb on a fork and a cigarette, and she was asleep. It was so bad that she was lighting herself on fire with the cigarettes, and the table, they put tin foil on half her side of the table so she wouldn't light the house on fire.

The whole table was ashtray? The half the table was ashtray. That's like prophylactic around the table. Yeah, I swear, because she just kept falling the house on fire. The whole table was ashtray? No, half the table was ashtray. That's like prophylactic around to the table. Yeah, I swear, because she just kept falling asleep. Did she have like one of these voices? Yeah, she would kind of look at you. She loved me though, she laughed at my jokes, man. She loved me, but my wife doesn't.

Not at all, she doesn't even like, ugh. She, as soon as I come home. Did she keep her cigarettes in one of those, it's almost like a big change purse? Yes. That was always a sign. Yeah, the little, yeah. Yeah, like the car Did she keep her cigarettes in one of those, it's almost like a big change purse? Yes! That was always a sign. Yeah, the little, yeah. Yeah, like the carzo.

My mother had one of those. And your cigarettes were in another purse? Yeah. Because they were soft pack. Parliament 100s. That's what she smoked. She didn't go the menthol route? No, she never went the menthol route.

My mom was straight menthols. Of course. My mother liked the menthols. What was the brand? My mom and dad, Cool Filter Kings. Buddy, I used to love Cool. I started smoking Cool. James, oh God, he's a great actor,

one of my favorite actors, I can't remember his name, my brain just shut down. Spader? James Spader did a movie where he had to build a wall. I think it was called The Wall. He got like, went to a house, the guy was a psycho, and then he made him build a wall for like a year. It was just a fucked up movie.

Not familiar with that. But he smoked Koolz. I remember he smoked Koolz. I started smoking Koolz because of James Bader. Yeah, that's why nobody smoked some movies on TV anymore, because it influenced all of us. We looked so cool to smoke. It was, it still is though.

Except John Travolta, he never held a cigarette right. He always held it in like the, between the pinky and the other finger and he is like all right John relax stop making choices I like the smokers style like did you know the the kind of gangster smokers style with it they kind of pinch it between they paint the dominant finger and it they kind of kind of squint when they when they inhale the thing and they flick it fuckin' love it. And they flick it at you if they're angry. I like the construction workers, like they don't have to, like if I ever leave a cigarette in my mouth,

the smoke from it, like, gets in my eyes. I can't do anything cool with it, but I've watched construction guys when I was young, just sitting, biting in their teeth and having a full breakdown of measurements and stuff. Yeah. And they smoke it in between, they go, uh, yeah, we're gonna have to take this whole thing out.

The damage is done over there, and we're gonna have to get Jimmy in here to do the gravel. And that was always impressed by that. I can't. I did love smoking. It was a cool. I still love it.

I know you do. He still smokes. How much do you smoke? Don't lie. A pack a day. You're a real smoker? Yeah, he is a real smoker. I still respect it.

Did you quit for a while or you don't even, it's like screw all your life. Quit for two years, came right back. And it was back so fast. I do smoke cigars though. So I still smoke. I'm a big cigar addict. Don't worry, Hank is there, he thinks you're cool

just because you don't smoke. It's fine. I was just trying to bring up. I quit when I was 30. He doesn't even smoke. Jay, I was just trying to bring up the cigar thing to see if, you know, if you jump on that, maybe we smoke a cigar. Cigars are for assholes, am I right Hank? God bless them.

God bless all your cigar smokers. You should live and be well, but I can't indulge. I'd kick myself if, when I have you in here Hank to not ask you about and I mean this very complimentary to The probably the most upset I've ever been about a show being canceled mid-story and needing to know what happened is the most emotional I've ever gotten invested into a show Especially that point was Huff the show. Yeah, they give us, they yanked us. It was yank, it was such a dark, great show with an unreal cast.

It was Blythe Danner, Oliver Platt. Yeah. I forget. Ollie and I went to college together. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, he was, it seemed like it. You guys' chemistry on that was like...

Yeah, we were genuine friends. It was the early days of show time. The show was kind of ahead of its time. It really was. It was very, like, we were genuine friends. It was the early days of Showtime. The show was kind of ahead of its time. They were just kind of... It really was. It was very, like, it was dark. For those that don't know, it's a show opens with your therapist and the kid.

Kid blows his brains out, right? Kid blows his brains out in the office. Yeah, it was a difficult show to make. It was just kind of branched off. They don't even know what you would describe the show as about. Anton Yelchin was Mr. Chokhov, and he's passed away. Sad. What was his name, Bird. I don't even know what you would describe the show as about. Anton Yelchin was Mr. Chokhov and he's passed away. Sad.

What was his name, Bird, on the show? Bird was his name on the show and he was a great actor and the sweetest kid ever. Yeah. And it's such a shame that he's gone. He was great. I mean, Star Trek, when he did that voice, it was. Well, he's actually a Russian.

His parents are both. Oh, then it wasn't that good. Well, yeah, it was his, he's actually a Russian. His parents are both. Oh, then it wasn't that good. Yeah, it was his native. I take that back. He was not accented, but he could do it very easily. It was unbelievable. Bob Saget? Bob Saget was on the show?

Oh, you know, I forgot about that, but yes, he was. Angelica Houston, I remember. Yes. It was such a phenomenal show. It was a really good show. Did they ever explain what was it, just a pure ratings thing? It was a business thing. Yeah, it really good show. Did they explain what was it just a pure ratings thing? It was a business thing.

Yeah, it was like, it wasn't doing that well. It was a semi-expensive show. And you know what happened was, if you want to get inside baseball, is we got bought, showtime got bought by, you know, Viacom, CBS. CBS, yeah. And then, and it really just wasn't

Les Moon Vestas' cup of tea. Damn. So weird. Show business is fucking whacked, man. Yeah, so that can happen to you. When they canceled Sex and Drugs, it was because of, like, commercial math. Oh, but it comes up... They weren't about commercial, like...

They canceled... I was on a show on IFC, and they did, when they canceled, it was over... Production was bickering with the network, IFC over product placement, and they got mad at each other, and they just didn't do a season three. And we transferred when they had ratings, and then they went into this viewed thing.

Yeah, streaming. Streaming, so it was like, you couldn't, there was no more, this show is killing it, because they didn't know. Very hard to tell, only they know those metrics. How this show is killing it. Because they didn't know. Very hard to tell. Only they know those metrics. How a show's really doing.

And they don't tell you. No, because if they told you, then we could all measure it and then we'd know what to get paid. Yeah, you'd have some sort of angle. Well, when it used to be ratings, you could look in the paper and go, we got a huge share, pay me.

Now, they guard that information. Yeah, you know a show I love that you did, Bruckheimer was? Bruckmeyer, that was not Hammer. Sorry, Bruckmeyer. The baseball, what? No, you just whiffed pretty hard. No, that's not right.

That's right, Bruckmeyer. But that's what I did, Jay. Listen, my wife, at least he answered me, my wife would have just stared at my blankly. I say things. You know how great it was with Huff. I pulled the Huff. Yeah, Huff was good and I was tagging on.

Huff's an easier name to remember. Huff, yeah, four letters. I had a crockbier. I loved you on that show, Huff. But that show, you were directly involved in that. Like that was, you loved baseball. Yes. And this character was fucking hilarious because he's from the past.

Yeah, he's the 70s generic baseball announcer voice. Kind of the voice of... also was the voice of television, you know, like the Ginsu. For some reason, this was the voice that sold your shit and called baseball games, and I don't know why. But it was mixed with now now with like the internet and Was like a relic yeah, it's like what if he became a meme what if he freaked out on the air? And I it's done. I had this idea. I'm gonna talk like Jim Brock matter promoted Oh, please as if there's anything to promote anymore go check it out. You can still stream great show great show I always wondered if these guys

You can still stream great funny show great show. I always wondered if these guys Do they still talk like that at home, you know, honey. I have had a hell of a day I could use some dinner about an eight ball of coke and the blow job. Let's get it going Tom Brennan man, the thing he got like canceled for yeah, it says it in the same exact voice. Yeah No, he said it like I got flooded with He's Brock Meyer there's been a few of those sadly over the years But you were like the character was a kind of a piece of shit alcoholic He was troubled guy. He was a troubled I remembered I thought that would be funny too

Like does he still sound like that even when he was wasted out of his mind when he does he dirty talk like that? You know the old fastball fan makes for a real neat butt plug and Brock Meyer is into it. You said 19 years sober? 18, yes. Is that, am I going back to that, long is that around the time of like Huff that you guys? Huff was after I met him.

And I did not, the connection with Dennis is Joel Church Cooper who wrote Brockmeyer, he's now working with Dennis on a current show in Ireland. Your friend didn't put you on that show? We're writing a show together. We're actually two years into writing a show together. He's actually producing a TV show for me.

Yeah, so, but you know, you're in it. You were in it. I'm sorry, back a TV show. Fetth Millers Jr. Yeah, so, but you know. Fetth Millers Jr. though? You were in it. I'm sorry. Back to TV talk. No, I'm sorry. Just put it back. No, I'll do it. I need insurance.

He's sorry, really is sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know, we'll see. Put him back in the show. Do a voice. Oh, come on. We're all gonna do voices then. Joel, Church Cooper and I are writing a one man show

that I'll be doing off-Broadway next year when he's done with Dennis. I don't know where I was going with all that, but Sober. Oh, you know, I did not mean for it to be a sobriety tale. Is it? At all. It is. I've been sober for 38 years. Oh, cool.

Yeah. And subsequent, as the seasons went on, season two, Brock Meyer realizes he's way out of control and gets sober and onward. And Joel really wanted to tell that story. I was kind of happy to. I was really enjoying reliving my drug and alcohol past through the show.

I was really loving getting to like, you know, as De Niro once said, you get to live crazy lives with no consequences when you're an actor. So I was enjoying. But did you responsibly stop when you stopped or was it like, kind of like a, eh, I gotta stop. I have to stop.

What's the difference? Well, one is like, hey, I shouldn't do this anymore and one is like, look, I just woke up with a dead hooker. I think I have to stop. I think one of them's almost like, it's like, ah, it's getting out of control. Let me, like, was it a nip this in the bud or was it like, no, this is out of control?

It was more nip it in the bud or was it like, no, this is out of control? It was more nip it in the bud, but because I had first gone, I've been surrounded my whole life by a lot of drugs and alcohol, people with a lot of problems. And so I was the caretaker for years. I was always the concerned one, what they call the al-anonick,

the friends and family of the alcoholic or the drug addict. And then I had to recover from that first. I really needed to back off these people who were dead set on doing themselves in. And then that led me to, well, what do I like to do if I'm not following crazy people around? And I was like, oh, you know, I kind of like drinking. And at first it was kind of healthy because I was like, oh, you know, I kinda like drinking. And at first it was kinda healthy, because I was kinda living for me, but then it got out of control.

And because I had so much experience with where that will lead, I was able to kinda pull myself out before. Sure, yeah. I was like, I literally said to myself the night I went in, like, well do I wanna wait till I have a DUI and I'm in jail and I'm fired,

or should I just stop now? Because I had seen it play out so many times. So you didn't have to hit like a crazy bottom. No, I was relatively high bottomed as a result. Right, oh that's great. My Alen on bottom was kind of worse. I was a miserable wreck over all that stuff. But I kind of knew that recovery could work,

so I had faith that if I tried to stop drinking that way, it would work, and it did. Did you have any crazy shit while you were drinking, though? Of course. Like crazy nights? Yeah. Yes, many drunk-alogged, I could, yes, I could tell stories. I was getting blitzed inside Herman's head, dude.

Yes. Yes. She just got crazy. I was the kind of nut that when I was in blitzed with inside Herman's head, dude. Yes. Yes. She just got crazy. I was kind of not that when I was in a relationship, I never really drank or used because I kind of had my drug. Second I got single, I would tear it up. Right.

And then I'd find someone and then I would settle sort of down again and then have a crazy thing with him. I was gonna say, did you co-dependent relationship quick too? Like it was like, hey, move in quick and what do you mean we're not married yet? Not quite that bad, but essentially yes. Yeah, so we crazy relationship one after another.

That's very strange. Yeah, it is. It is. That's so good that you got to get a hold of it. I mean, you had that first thing, the Al-Anon type of stuff, having to deal with that. Yeah. Which I find it can be worse because it's not like being an addict,

you hit that big bottom, everybody's kind of around you, but having to do that, go to Al-Anon, it's not as popular, I guess, you know what I mean? It's more subtle. It's a very subtle recovery that you have to get into. They call it para-alcoholism, where you take on the characteristics of an alcoholic, but you're just not drinking or using.

So you're like no fun. At least the alcoholic, when they're wasted at least, you can have a good time with them. The Al-Anon is just a drag always. It's really not hard. It's all the shit with no fun. You go to AA meetings and it's a hilarious riot in there. You go to Al-Anon meetings,

you want to kill yourself after 20 there. You go to Al-Anon meetings, you wanna kill yourself after 20 minutes. You really have to concentrate. I mean, not like, what, to my recovery brothers and sisters, not really, but you know, kinda. It's a little more modeling. And yet, Moe the bartender just doling out beers to alcoholics left and right.

Well listen, that's my day job. Moe don't know from that stuff at all. Are you, like, we just had Colin in here, and he's like, you have to go to these after parties, you have to go to these things. It's part of the, part of the business. Do you go to these things? Do you go to, like, the after parties?

Like, late night? Yeah, like, you know, after the show and whatever. I mean, not in years. Or do you just go home to your family? Pretty much. I rarely go out. Like, there's really... You don't listen to Colin. Go home. In my sober life.

I do go home. You said last night at one o'clock in the morning, you were out doing the dozens with a bunch of young black comics outside the Comedy Cellar. Go home. Every once in a while, I have to pass down my notes to the young comedians. And if that takes dang out to them, sorry. By the way, I feel bad.

Allen and I meetings are tremendous. I got a lot of recovery out of them. I didn't mean to denigrate them. We're a comedy show. No, no, but anybody, because that really helps people. Yeah. So to make a joke like,

oh you wanna go in there and kill, that's a bad joke. I understand what you're saying though, because it's not, I went to a meeting in LA once and there was a famous, like one of my idol rock stars who tell us can't Anonymous I was literally like what the fuck he spoke he shared One of the funniest it could have been a stand-up set

Crushed this story about hiding cocaine and his, his dog ate his cocaine and he had to follow the dog around for a week. Until he shit the bag out, right? And it was just him telling it and his accent and his voice and all his little bracelets jingling while he was telling it. It was fucking hilarious. Brett Michaels?

No, Brett Michaels. Was he English or American? He was English. Oh, let me kill him, mister. No, no, it wasn't let me. I couldn't look at his cheek. Simon the Bone is out in your lobby. It wasn't fucking Simon the Bone, was it?

No, it wasn't. Was it Duran Duran? No, it was not Duran Duran. Who's here today. He's the lead singer. It's Hungry Like a Wolf? No, not Hungry Like a Wolf. But that's what I mean.

Bigger. A friend of mine, this guy named David Mannheim, he has a podcast called Dopey, where people share stories like that a lot. And it's hilarious. It's really lot. Right. And it's hilarious. It's really right. I mean it's tragic. Well I was going to say isn't that the bummer that I've always found the people in my life

at least who have really done right by like getting clean when they had big problems. Yeah. Don't reflect on it just as like this monstrous time of my life. They're able to kind of go it's like, ah, no, this was like some of the funnest times. Like some of the, like, there's elements. But I believe they're gonna stay, almost in the sense that they acknowledge it versus someone going like, yeah, I let that evil into my life,

and I have to keep that evil. It's like, it's always so serious versus being like, oh no, but you haven't lived, so you've done heroin with three strippers and blah, blah, blah. It was a crazy night. Sometimes those war stories get a little carried away. I agree, and the message, like, what are we doing?

Are we glorifying all that? Are those the glory days or what? But, you know. But the lows are lower. The night I went in, the guy said to me, look, the way this stuff usually goes is fun. It's fun, there's a reason why we did it. It's not a, I mean.

Sure. Fuckin' some of the funnest times ever. Yeah, and it's also a coping skill. I mean, it helps you numb out and deal. It helps you feel like you belong to something. Yes. Yeah. And so fun, fun with problems, as you see, Howard,

and then just major problems is where it ends up. And I was able to pull out, personally, at fun with problems. Most people kind of get close to dominated by problems. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, it was, but you know what, it's a longer, I found it hard for a while to replace that joy.

I didn't know how to, that was my human connection was in a bottle. Well, I replaced it, I replaced it with sex in my early 20s. I replaced it with cupcakes for about two years. I did, I replaced it with cupcakes for around. 12 years. I mean, I wasn't gonna say 12, but okay, 12. I don't know how many years, I was just two years. Dude, I replaced it with cupcakes for around. 12 years. I mean, I wasn't gonna say 12, but okay, 12.

I don't know how many years I was kissing you. No, I mean, yeah, food was a big thing for me where I would just eat, that was my thing. I'd go somewhere, you'd go drink and party and be with chicks to try to get laid and I would just go back to the room. I remember one time I was leaving El Polo Loco and the lady was like, shoot.

El Polo. Racist. El Pollo Loco. Sorry. Pollo. Birdcage. That's different. That is different.

That's a little higher. Ha ha ha. Fucking love that. One of my favorite characters of all time. But I was walking out and this lady was like, excuse me sir, is this all for you? Oh boy. See that's not a good moment in your life.

Yeah, it wasn't, because the underlying cause is as soon as you quit something, you gotta replace it with something. Oh totally, you gotta cross the deck. I went crazy with video games for a while too. No shit. Oh God. You played video games?

Yeah. What'd you play? What kind? Mostly Mario Kart, but I mean I let out such rage playing this game, like I'm playing against road rage kids against you know kids in Asia who are 12 year olds in Asia who are destroying me Because they have all the cheat codes. I know and I'm sitting like you fucking little fuck. I'll find you Fuck you sir. I have to go to work You're 11. I know I know I really

You're 11! I know. No, I really... It was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And a part of me is watching myself going, I guess I needed to get this rage out. I suppose that... I wasn't yelling at the kid. I was screaming at the television.

Oh, you can get a little thing and yell at the kid directly. I know. I refrained because I knew I had great problems for everybody. I did the same thing. I did video games for a couple years. Yeah, it's very thick. I actually stopped. I haven't played video games since my son was born.

I stopped playing. But I used to play all night long. And it was, I remember my wife walked out. She left me at nine at night. Next day she woke up at eight and I was still playing the same game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would often see her dawn.

She went, yuck. And I was like, oh, I felt terrible about myself. Yeah. What's up? We're running out of time, I just wanted to say this. There's no other celebrity actor that I've ever been. That you try to look exactly like more?

I've been told I look like Hank Azaria more than anyone else. And on a cosmic level, it always made me feel great because I love your body of work and then I went outside and And got hang from the lobby and he's so much taller than I am too So career and physically he's I feel like now I'm a zone five Hank is area. Yes Your dream was zone three Now you're zone one. He's zone five. You're zone one and I'm the zone five.

Jacob's zone five. We could definitely be family members. No question. You also kind of look like Turturro a bit, I think. Also young Charles Manson. Yeah, I've been told that. Young Charles Manson's disturbing. Christine, could you please? Very handsome fellow.

Very handsome fellow. Charles Manson was young and charismatic. What's your background? What's your ethnicity? Half. Very handsome fellow. Charles Manson was young and charismatic. What's your background? What's your ethnicity? Half Jewish, half Charles Manson. Yeah, Middle Eastern Jew. Yeah, well me too. I'm a Sephardic Jew. Yeah, Sephardic Jew.

Are you Sephardic? Yes. You know Sephardic, we do look alike. We really do. There's a lot I can tell a Sephardic. Yeah. Yeah. Where's your family?

I'm a European Jew. Where are they from? Where? Iraq. Okay, I felt my, we'rereece to turkey by the jewish lost a father for three years yet can lathers called lads good guy come from the west for the fear rosenberg's has looked like charles you're wrong about that you're out of mind

here at the side and will be performing at the brooklyn ball on the right all nove. Easy Street Band, we're really good. Don't take my word for it. Check out our Thunder Road video. You should play a little of our Thunder Road. Sure. Do you have it?

Yep. We can play it on the way back. We'll play it on the way back. Play it on the way back. You guys can check it out. Check it out on YouTube. He's got clips up there, but go see him live Friday night, November 8th

at the Brooklyn Bowl. Thanks for coming in, man. Thanks for having me. Pleasure to meet you, man. Great meeting you, man. Thank you. I can't wait to hang out at the bakery up in... No question.

It went well. You passed. Yes, we can hang out in bed. I know we have a lot in common. Let's start out at the Starbucks before we work up to the bakery. I just want you to know, Hank, he's going to be crying on this shoulder when you don't show up. We'll be right back.

Everybody say goodbye. Crackle, crackle.