The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Good Life Metallica

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

When a metal band gets so rich and famous, what do they have left to sing about? | Bobby spends three hours in a car with Ari Shaffir talking about his travels and he leaves out the best story about a cursed pig. | Yamaneika Saunders is the latest comedian to join the collective of heroes aka the Comic Justice League. | All the members of the Bonfire admit to having an accident in their pants at some point in life except for Christine. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Man, I miss Young Manson. Before the drugs got a hold of him, when he was using them, not addicted to them. When he was using them, they weren't using him. Yes, exactly. Weird. Before they were using him. Yeah.

When he was using them. Yeah. Making cool songs like this. Yeah. Looking very, uh, very, uh, bisexual he just won't have another song like this ever his new songs are always going to be just like a rock song from a rock same thing metallic it does now when they make a song it's like ah you just made a rock and roll song like a high school band well we're not going to go bon jovi's way

where they go into full country is that what they're doing now i'll turn this up blue this is the part this is this is what he can't do anymore weeo great scott Why can't he do that anymore, Jay? He'd hurt his hip? I don't know. I don't know what happens to them. I don't know what happens. Why can't fucking Metallica sit down and write something as good as fade to black now?

You don't have to. Talked about it a bunch. Why can't I sit down and write a marshmallows, Hoppa-chopalopalopolis? No, you can. You've gotten away from that. That's the point is, like, the young music making seems so much better than when they're, like, seasoned and have an actual story to tell. The problem is if they hit it young, their story to tell. how like is you can't have a fade the black in the lyrics are like sitting by my reflecting pool

I'm gonna go over and pet my horse nothing really makes me sad everything is pretty good I've got 90 porches in an I lost my woman but I got another They're in good schools, and they're fine. Sometimes I take a walk on my land with my stuff. And my little tiny dog, who I love. Life ain't what it used to be.

Vacationing in Fiji. Skank, skank, skank, skang. That's exactly what it is. Is it just enjoying their lives, finally? I just had to switch my maid. Making my own lemonade. It's true. When you get a certain amount of happiness, dude, it kills all creativity.

After you're afraid of, you're afraid of being too happy out in the burbs. You want to live in a shitty apartment. cold street walking the dog back in the garage where it all started making fucking shirts for my routines making funny shirts for my for my stage sticks you want to you miss the days going mom where's your tights i have a show i have a show should you wear them you know i need him on show nights now you can just buy tights sticks fucking good life metallica is so funny Good Life Eddie band Yeah, you get successful

What are you writing about? Yeah Just write about Really good things in your life Yeah I've been sober for 18 years Evil's been pretty good to Marilyn Manson Oh yeah

Evil's great Now he's got his shit together And now he's been great And it's just like He's got his shit together So he sounds good And he looks good But God damn, it's just, I said it just hits me with the nostalgia.

Like, it's not his fault. It will never be how it was. No. Not with him. You know, it's almost a shame. Chester Bennington and, what's his name? The other guys who whacked off to death? Soundgarden?

Chris Cornell? Did he? Did he? Both whacked off to death. He was killed by the government. Hillary Clinton allegedly killed him. Chris Cornell? Yeah.

By making him jerk off hanging from a fucking door? He knew too much, dude. Him and Anthony Bonnet. Bordane, they knew too much. They were both killed by the same way. Soundgarden? They were both killed in the same way. They knew about Hillary and the Clintons,

and they just got taken out. Do your research, bro. Well, however, they got taken out. They were slapping their weaners while they were hanging from a doorknob. Don't ruin that for me. I have a product line I'm launching based off of it. Don't forget my quick release

belt thing that hangs you from a doorknob. that will never let you die. Joke Jerk spotter. I forgot about that. It wasn't political. The guy just like to whack off. It's not political. It's not true.

It's all political. But they can you almost... How were really when they died? It was the Jews. Look at all Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell were when they died. I don't think they're in either of the clubs and those are kind of the clubs you have to die

and they remain cool forever. Do you know what I mean? Chris Cornell definitely got to a point where like no one was really giving a shit about new music. Do you know what I mean? If you die, While people are still actively hyped on your new music, legend forever. You know what I mean?

Like Nirvana fucking died right after he, what do you make? In utero, right? That was the last thing, and then he just fucking died. So they had two mainstream albums. Did Stone Temple Pilots? Did he died maybe a little... I died way late. Too late, right?

Yeah, he died way too late. Yeah, way too late. Yeah, Chester Bregnant, 41. That's not a cool age to die. You were already starting to not be the guy that was jumping around on stage already. You know what I mean? You already couldn't wear the clothes.

He probably could. I could wear the clothes, it's just that here's what he can't wear. The same hair lines that doesn't exist. His neck veins and all that's screaming has fucking aged his face and like, just no matter what he's just, and he can't jump around. He's not a kid jumping around stage anymore. Can't jump. So if you, I mean, the real good, the good one's the 27.

Yeah. If you could pop young enough in your early 20s that you get that good seven years. Oh, if I could have died just after just the tip. Oh. to be this guy invented DVDs of CDs Yeah Fucking Scott Weilin was my age The end

Yeah 48 He was 48 he was already His kids were older He was already dressing Like an old Englishman You gotta die with no kid Too young for kids or your kids are young And then they grow up okay

What did you call it Biggie Small's daughter I heard Just like opened a steakhouse in New York It's like Caribbean Caribbean Infused Steakhouse Big Popas

Chain restaurants It's done I swear to you I think they burn a picture of Biggie Smalls Into the top of the buns What Into the bread

I think Boo yo Big Popas Welcome Biggie Small's daughter Tiana Wallace Sounds gross Big Popas

They do They burn an They burn an image of Biggie Smalls on the hamburgers Take that, take that. Does look good, though. Does look good.

Smash burger. Biggie fries. Looks good. Wait, is that Biggie Smalls? That actually might be, could that be the Big J. O'Kersen's greatest yapper alive tour promo? It's hard to tell on a bun. Oh, God.

God damn, it's too many. That looks like a plate of bullshit. Yeah, it looks like a buffet. Yeah, why is it looks so fancy on the outside and the food looks like something that should come in styrofoam? That looks good to me. Does it? That looks good to you?

Go back, go back, go back. that looks good to you, right? Not there. That looks great for everybody. That does, of course. Go again. Go again. Right there?

Describe what we're at. I'll tell you what we're looking at. It looks like someone cut a shrimp in half with a sword and then threw some shit on it. Then crack the fucking loose egg over a fucking some greens. Yeah. There's a piece of tomato, a half of burnt corn, a pile of fucking mac and cheese, I guess. two little slices of sweet potato maybe

on top of a pile of shit of rice and shit it's a busy plate it's my dish it's called rice and shit that's gonna be my restaurant rice and shit in fact make sure we get this out there in the world

Isabella when I die open up a restaurant called rice and shit and shit and shit and shit and shit and you get the you just got isolated Jamie

You know, dude, that's the best friend in the world. Oh, right. And shit. And shit. And shit. Everybody ready to laugh now? Oh, my gosh. You get an exercise of fucking fries.

Fuck it. Fuck it. And shit. Yo, you want fucking fries with your end shit? Oh, great news, dude. Famous DJ Avichie, J. Mr. Bennington, Chris Cornell, and Bourdain were not working on a child sex trafficking documentary and did in fact take their own lives while masturbating.

It doesn't say that part. Well, Christine can look up anything she wants because she knows she's a left-wing Hollywood person. Why don't you look up my question and then find all that info that they were about to release a documentary. But this is a fact check. No, that's her fact check, which I don't agree. It's Reuters.

Reuters is not a... Oh, you could have played that out because I don't know. I don't know either. I think I've heard it before, but I just almost guess because I think that's what that spells. I've heard of it before. I don't know if I've ever seen it. I would have guessed there was a Y in there somewhere. No.

Look, it I was just on Dan St. Germain and Chris O'Donnell. I'm full of conspiracies today. Sean Donnelly. Sean Donnelly. Chris O'Donnelly. Chris O'Donnelly. Chris O'Donnelld actually hung himself, too, jerking off. Good jump.

Good jump. Sean, call him Chris O'Donnelly. Sean Donnelly. It's so funny, you do that show. It's like doing a show with fucking captains. Oh, yeah. The same beard. Sea captains, yeah.

It's like you're waiting for jaws to attack while you guys are hanging out. DJ Avici, yeah. Lincoln Park and Chris Cornell. Oh, boy. Not doing that. No. Not. I had the best time with Ari Shafir this weekend.

Ari came down to the cellar Friday night. Came in. Looking fucking ridiculous. I mean, just trim it up a little bit. He looks nuts. He looks nuts. He looks nuts. He's out of control.

It's out of control. But he came in and we were hanging out, blah, blah, blah. And then we're like, oh, we're going to go smoke, cigars, shoot the shit down at the Soho cigar lounge. And the last minute, he's like, oh, it's cold. It was kind of far. And we were like, I don't know what you want to do. Can we find a bed? I was like, listen, this is what we do.

My car is parked in front of Washington Square Park, my truck. We go in my truck, roll down the windows. We light up bats. and we hang out in my truck have the heat on, have the windows down, we make it a little cigar lounge. And we went into my truck.

It's going to look like one of you as a gay prostitute. It's not me. Okay? I definitely look like... You're right. Ari does like a guy who might have to blow you for some cash.

Yeah, it's 100% not me. Ari looks like a guy who does it. He doesn't even need the cash. He just blows guys for cash. It's almost art for him. We sat in the truck and he went on my, you know the maps we have in our cars,

the vertical, it's the big long vertical screen. He went from the top of the continent where he started in Alaska, and went through his whole fucking trip just going to the place, zooming in, telling me about the city,

all the way down to the bottom of South America. Every single city he went to, every place he went to, around two and a half hours, three hours. How did you get that on your screen? Because it's that big long screen on the Google Maps. So he just went in, we did Google Maps, and he just went in and zoomed in and it's a touchscreen.

And he went through his whole eight-month trip in my car and told me every story about every city in the fucking... On his whole trip. Guinea Pigs are the last time. No? Did he have him this time again? That was just this time No I didn't tell me about the

Fuck I gotta do it again I mean he's going around It's amazing that he's believing What he believes about this About what? The guinea pigs? Yeah Well no

I think he knows it was a scam But it's pretty crazy still What the guinea pigs? Yeah What's wrong with the guinea pigs? What's the story? What's the story? That they

That he had a curse on him Did they have to remove From guinea pig? He didn't tell me what the fuck He just told me the good parts He didn't tell me the guinea pigs curse what is that they told somebody else that was on the trip that uh that uh someone you're hanging out with has a curse and they didn't take it that seriously he didn't take it that seriously

and then in a different place uh they told they told him they couldn't read his like fortune or whatever because like something there it's overwhelming them that he's got a pretty bad curse he didn't mention any of this shit to me and then they uh i mean it's his story to tell i want to run the story but it's pretty crazy well apparently he's not going to tell it to me me I was three hours in my truck and you didn't say a fucking word about a curse. He's going to come on again. We should tell him to call it because it's ridiculous. You got here.

He needs to be set straight. He thinks he got cursed in South America? No, no. Somebody else got cursed? No, no. It would be him that would be cursed. But he's not cursed anymore. What does the g-so he had it eat a guinea pig to get the curse undone?

Nope. He had to kill a guinea pig to get the curse. He had to have sex with a guinea. Why is they, where's the guinea pig come in? they said to him that he had uh they in order to remove the curse they need a guinea pig and so they had to go they had to get a guinea pig haven't come back the next day for the ceremony are you five he had to go get a guinea pig and bring it live he didn't live guinea pig a living guinea pig and then they had to kill it it's not my story dude i feel like we might

have mentioned it huh i feel like we mentioned it i feel like you told me initially this story to some I did not. I don't know anything about it. I was in three hours in my, I thought it was the greatest hang, one of the greatest hangs in my life. Went through his whole, three hours you were there? Three hours in the car. It's like a Rogan. It was like a Rogan. It was like eight out, I mean, just eight months of place to place to place. Then we went here and then we came back over here, and then I went to El Salvador. They wouldn't let me in, so I had to go back and then. You didn't mention the guinea pig. Didn't mention anything about the guinea pig. It was all great stories. This is a great story.

Guinea pig. Pretty crazy. I don't know about the guinea pig. Did he get the curse off with the guinea pig? If you believe in curses and the removal of curses. I do. The curse should be lifted. Christine, you're here voted most likely to believe in curses. Cackle, what do you chime in on all this? Well, without telling the story, I think that my whole idea of what happened with Ari is that the The native people to the land saw white people, tourists coming a mile away and tricked him and they poison animals.

So that's what I think is going on. Wait, my animals? There's animals, like, plural? I'm sure this isn't the first go-round. I'm sure Ari's not the first Jewish boob to wander through their fucking jungle. Or maybe he is. He just told him on side. He told him like your mom's after saying.

He tells it with such humility. I'm like, are you seriously like telling the story like it's real? Oh, he told it already. Yeah. He did tell him something. He told it somewhere. Yeah. Oh, well, then doesn't matter.

Tell me. They said they had the... I was trying to find it. Tell me like the guy who tells stories on Sirius X-Ele. Yeah. They... I gave up that career, by the way. Oh, all right.

So, like, witch doctors? Yeah, they got the guinea pig, and they apparently, they waved it over his whole body. Put it over his one foot, they said. And it was fine. And then they go, it's not that one. And they put it over his other foot. And it died. The foot died?

No. The guinea pig died over the guy's foot. Over Ari's foot. Well, dude, I mean... And? You ever seen Ari's foot? A lot of animals will fucking take that last breath over that fucking... That fucking bird foot.

And then apparently they cut it open and like... Curse came out. Like weird. He said it was some kind of weird, like green. Listen, let's say it. He told him she heard from him. Why didn't he tell me this story? Sorry, everything's winging out right now.

Because he didn't want to bore you with that super exciting, wild thing that's very unique and strange, and he just figured to show you his map route. He didn't tell me anything. We went here. We went here. We just kept pointing while Lindsey Buckingham's Holiday Road was playing in the background the whole time. Holiday Road. Fucking asshole.

Like, they were poisoning the animals. Nothing already says. They just snapped its neck. Nothing already says makes sense to this, but every time I look at it, my village, you're don't, but ding, doong, d'n-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. But he's telling such hard stories? No, there was no epic stories. It was just...

I went here and here. Went here, did this. Did you take about the food? Um, no. He didn't even say about the food? What was the food? What the fuck was the three hours then? If he was just giving your roots, then we walked here, then we walked there.

No, we walked everywhere. We walked near. He walked far. He went a lot of places. Well, he told me about, like, being up in a, Alaska at the most northern point in Alaska. He talked about the town. What's the most northern point?

I forget. It's all these Wachawakwaka caca names. And he came during... Waka Kugauga. Waka, Kuga. What's the northernmost point in Alaska? Point Barrow. Yeah, Barrow.

That's not very Waka-Maka Hockey. Well, that's its non-Waka Hockey name. It's Nuvuk. Yeah, there you go. Nuvuk. Nuvuk. And they were... It was whale season, so they were actually...

got to hunt whales that were coming in. Hunt? Yeah, they hunt them or kill them. You know, the natives get to kill whales up there because that's their culture. They're just allowed to? Yeah, they eat whale, dude. They fucking, they just kill whale and eat it's fat, it's blubber.

That's how they survive up in that shit hole. Only because DJ lose wearing glasses, he started nodding in agreement with you. It's true. I know. Yeah, it's true. It's common knowledge. I follow a guy on my...

Common knowledge. It's common knowledge. The Eskimos hunt bears Whales? Whales. He saw, he told me about a polar bear came into town, which was cry. He saw a live polar bear, wild polar bear

came into the town. Just popped in town? Well, yeah, it was coming in off the ice glacier. He said, I'm here to see about a girl. No, he actually just wanted a Coke. Eskimo whaling commission. The Marine Mammal Protection Act regulates the hunts, allowing them to take whales

for food, clothing, and crafts. Oh, they're talking about real. savages who need it for like need to line their fucking igloos with it no no no this isn't like a neighborhood place you're going to this is like people really live in like uh they talk like clingons and shit talk talk top to

yeah exactly they talk to talk to it but they yeah that's part of their culture so they can't lose their culture they get to kill a couple whales a year yeah but one whale's got to take care of all there's like 11 people now have you seen the size of those people up there they're big fucking awful crazy eskimos yeah there's the whales they kill the huge whales

They're called Inuits. Yeah. They slice them right up on the beach. Nice. And everybody gets a hunk of whale fat. Tuk tuk tui. Tuk tui. That's it right there.

See the whale fat? You cut that up and you... Tuck, Tuck, Tui. Ari saw this and ate it? I don't think... Ugh. Look at that. Oh, Tuck, Tuck, Tui.

No, I don't know. He didn't tell me that he ate it. I mean, didn't tell me any of the food, really. He just told me about the place. You know there was a place. Yeah, he told me about his dancing and Simpalo. He told me about... But not the death of a guinea pig.

Didn't tell me any exciting stuff. There was no... Wasn't there also... Didn't he like save somebody on the roadside? There was a bad accident. And then he had to drive them. No, I didn't tell me that. I don't know that full story.

I don't know the full story either. I think he had to save someone. We have another hero in our midst, if you believe it or not. What do you mean he saved somebody? I think he had to stop driving. There was a terrible Clarkson. And he picked up people and drove them to the hospital. He didn't tell me any of this.

He was a hero. He didn't tell me any of this. fucking, he probably don't want to like outshine your heroic. He probably won't outshine your heroics, number one. Two, he probably knows you wouldn't be able to say the name of the place because you said waka-hakuwi for a place called

Barrow. It's Nakakoui. It was very close. It was Newvook. Newvook. First of all, I want to say that I am proud that I've started something that I think is taking over the comedy community because not only do we have you as

a hero, Kim Condit is a hero Yamanika Saunders is apparently over the weekend is another comedian hero What's her heroics? What did she do? Let's not forget Christine by the way Christine's a hero? Oh yeah I don't remember she

She went and unplugged the space heater That's true I forgot about that Christine I saved our house You saved the house preemptive hero is still a hero right It's not a full hero Because her life wasn't an indebted danger? What was the movie with future crimes?

Minority report? She's a minority report hero. Yeah, I would say minority report here. She's not a full hero. I mean, she's not going to be in the Justice League. Like, you know, she's going to get invited to the mixer though. She'll get invited to the mixer. She'll be there. If we need extra hands. Sure, sure. You know, we need, hey man, this job is too big. We could invite, you know, hey, Christine, can you come? Another active heroics could get her fully. Anything needs to be unplugged or something you see some you know some some some danger around you could do it but you know she's not going to fight in the battle why you're wearing pizza merch dude this is that pizza place oh

this is this is the best pizza in the world do they say they'll give it to you for free they gave it to me for free so you wear the shirt i don't take i don't accept the pizza for free i told him that he wants to but i won't do it because i like it so much i don't want to show up and be like hey i'm here and he oh this fucking asshole is here again so i was like dude i'm paying you go once a year nah i want to be to go when I want and I don't want to have him be like, oh, Dickhead's back. Isn't it way out of your way to possibly go there? Yeah, but I roll through there once in a while, that part. Once in a while I'll roll through that part and I want to be able to, I'd actually drive there

with Dawn, like go get that pizza with Dee and Max one night if I, if I was, maybe go see Voss or some shit. He lives like 10 minutes away. Yeah. Voss doesn't eat pizza, though. Yeah, he does. He went last time. Did he?

Yeah, he went, of course he did. I was going. He said I thought he lives life all way protein and shit. No, he's a he's a vegetarian when Bonnie's around. Oh really? Yeah. He's behind her back. Behind her back he'll throw some shit. She does a pot. She's a pot head behind his back and he's a food addict behind her back. She's a lot of things behind his back. What else? No way. Think she dikes around? Spread that rumor. Bonnie McFarland dikes it out with every female comic you've heard of. If she doesn't, she should. Even fucking Jing Jang Summers and Bull Cut Lee. Even they got a little taste.

You're going to dress it. You might as well do it. She posted this today. This is one year into my marriage to Rich Foss. Fresh-faced. Do you see what she did at the dojo a couple weeks ago? Uh-uh. She was there and he was just going on and on stage.

And then he went, bring Bonnie up. I want him to do this bit. And she went on stage and she just went, guys, thank you so much. Rich Foss, everybody. Give it up for Rich Foss. Amazing comic. Thank you for coming out. Thank you for.

And everybody was like, woo and they just ended the show on him and fucking walked off how long was he on for? He was off for 45 minutes she was like I want to go home she just ended the show she is one of the funniest that fucking jacket is nuts though

that bottom elastic is too much I had that same jacket pretty much God it stinks yeah Christine Christine also enjoyed a giant cuff oh I hate a cuff a big cuff I like a cuff not a big cuff not a big cuff not a big cuff not a big

That's too much cuff. Too much cuff. And the cuff goes around the waist. You don't want a waist cuff. That's the more upsetting cuff. Yeah, the waist cuff. That would just make me feel like shit. Yeah, well...

It's like cinching. She has a better body than us. She does. Oh, look, all the girls chime in and Janus Poppuss. One of the girls. That's too far out of the city. I saw him today. Huh?

Saw him today. Where? They film at the Stan's podcast studio or whatever. Him and Chrissy. Chrissy D? What were you doing there? I was doing, I told you, the fucking, the podcast with the dancing. Oh, they do it in the same place.

They do it in the same place, yeah. Is it on the Stans Network? Stans Network. What is that? A Wix. Is it the Wits? Wits. Wits, is it Wits.

Is that functioning? Yeah. No, it's actually, I, what's his name, took me around? Don't give me the luck, dude. What's his name, Chris Italia? Bob, I want to take you, well. let me show how this studio it's not nothing

where they're making money for sure yeah making a lot of money I don't know about that well the company that they're with where they're making money is because they're actually it's a place to do ADR in New York

so they have been able to say they've done what what's your fucking deal full comedy special uploaded really is that wits that's pretty fucking crazy

what is that what is this This was like not, this is like during COVID or so. Oh, this is the, this is Ari, the one Ari we did. Rich Voss is in it? This is the one we did ourselves. How did they get this up? Joe DeRosso?

I don't know. I have this. I literally have these files on a hard drive at our house. That's crazy. They just put it up. They're pirating your shit, dude. Yeah. I don't know if Ari even maybe Ari figured.

They didn't, they didn't produce this. Dude, send a cease and desist. Oh, Ari produced it, and we did it during COVID. It's stressed. This is so weird. They took your shit. They took your whole special. The wits.

Dude, send a cease and desist right now. Complain about it. You look good, though. Instead of wearing a mask, you wear a bandana, like fucking deaf leopard or on your neck. Yeah. I fucking go cool. It was so funny. I was like, wait, Shane did what's your fucking deal?

I'm like, oh, that's a little later. It's DeRosa doing the job. I did. Audience, Mike. Ugh. Fucking three and a half hours of fucking horse shit. It was a lot. It was a lot.

Fuck, while you were fucking taking every 10 minutes having a fucking pot break and a cigarette break shooting the shit making connections. I was just working the tables with the waitresses. It was not fair. Fucking terrible. It was not fair. It actually set my comedy career back

fucking five years doing that. It wasn't handled in a fair way. It was not. What, Nashville? Nashville. We don't do the show anymore. No, you know who doesn't do the show either? Me.

Nobody. Fucking Christ. It's over after that. No, we did this gang. We did this gang fest two more, but that's it. No more. No Moss. This was done at a time when crowd work wasn't all anyone was putting out on the internet.

Yeah. It's just like ridiculous. I do a crowdwork show. I'm like, enough. Enough. I'll do crowd work. Everybody else do your thing. So is this your, you own this?

It was all. I don't even know. Ari me? I mean, like, it's fucking... I'm trying to remember who shot it. I'm like, did they shoot it? They must have. They just shot it?

I literally thought this is on a hard time in my house. Did they film it and not tell it? You knew that it was being filmed. Yes, but it wasn't them. It was somebody... It was Ari. It was actually Ari. Yeah, I thought he...

And they got a hold of it? Is this like from the house cameras? They have almost half a million subscribers. Now they do from your fucking content. No, it's more. It's 655. 5,000 subscribers? How many, how many views on this?

They have like five videos up. I hope it's all your specials. Go back. Go to their page. I don't know, I guess you got a bunch of stuff. What's your fucking deal? No, wait a second. Patrice.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's something fucking, something's up here. Why? 655,000 subscribers. 3,000 views, 24,000 views, 2,000 views. Keep going down. Did they just... Pete Davidson presents 141,000 views.

44,000, 43, that's crazy. These are popular videos. There's some fucking funny business going on there, my man. That's fucking major hijinks. You think they bought those people? How else could you possibly make that happen? I don't know. How do you buy a one-minute clip of Patrice?

I don't think you buy it. I think you just... Take it. They just steal it from Showtime. Yeah, you just take it and put it on your thing. Oh, my Christ, Almighty. How many views does your, what your fucking deal have? 44,000.

It went up two weeks ago. No promotion because nobody told us it was going out. Oh, you can't promote it because then you'll be caught red hand and stealing people's contact. That's wild. This is nuts. That's wild. Yeah.

What are you going to do about it? Well, first I'm going to tell Ari. Yeah. You sure he's Christine's going to tattle You're going to tattle I tattle Why don't you just

Next thing I call people Outside of me to deal with this Oh you're gonna You're gonna have lawyers or somebody? I just don't even understand How this is a thing That happened It's weird fighting it out

In like real time We're looking for something else As I said I wanted to Because all the things We wanted to bring I want to put the episodes Not that That was the thing we did during COVID

But the actual like Two seasons You own it I own the name, what's your fucking deal, and I'm an executive producer, or I'm one of them. I own it with those guys, I guess, technically, but I just want to put it up for free on YouTube, and they're holding it hostage.

Too late. Too late? No, that's not, that's just the one thing we did during COVID. But who did this? Is this Ari who did this? It was like Ari behind it, for sure. He was producing it ultimately. Did he produce it with them?

I don't think so. So was it at the stand? It was at the stress factory. Honestly, like I'm not remembering like Becky was working for Ari at the time and I thought she was doing some production on it. It's Stress Factory for sure. What do you want to promote, Jacob? Our YouTube book.

Oh. Yes, that's true. Let's get our YouTube channel. We're competing with the wits now. Let's get our YouTube channel. Let's get a plaque over on our YouTube channel, everybody on this one because I'm telling you, you're not going to see anything funnier. I'd have to assume on the internet anytime soon other than.

Bobby, Dan, and Ari I mean, going to work on everybody's everyone's messaging too and they're saying like that's definitely, remember I told you I had a shirt that was animal from from the Muppets on it and everyone's saying like that's definitely

the inside out shirt Muppet I could see the outline the following it. They can see it? It's definitely the fucking Muppet shirt. Can I get it? I want to see it again. Oh God. It's so upsetting. It's so. No, not.

Oh, look at that. It's been out for a day. Now, I'll tell you, if we were on the wits, we'd now be their second highest viewed video of all time. And that's with zero promotion. So let's get that fucking way up. And please, everybody, go to our YouTube and subscribe to it because the more evidence we could also show serious

that there's a value in fucking the video. Maybe. They will hopefully get behind it. No, maybe we'll get a meeting about turning the cameras on. It's very possible to have a turn the cameras on meeting. We could have another turn the cameras on meeting. We've already had one. Oh, man.

How awkward was that in the sales meeting? That was funny. Poor Jim had to put the kibosh so quick. That made me laugh so hard. They were like, and we see you guys have a video element. While you guys are doing video, we can get ad sales in there, and that really beefs up things. And he goes, ah, I, da, dot, dot, not,

guys. Big Jim had to be like, ah, da, da, da. Big Jim had to be like, ah, da, da, da. So series doesn't necessarily support the video of the show. Yeah, we were like, we have to hire a Filipino boy to do it ourselves. Oh, man. So the video is entitled Black People Rule. Yeah, they do.

The Bonfire SXM page, before it shows up on the wits. Yeah. Which will be shortly. Before this is sliced apart and fucking chopped up in the wits in one of the increments. I did see it in one of the studios being edited up. It was being chopped up. I didn't know what it was. Now it's...

They had people doing ADR for it over me. Oh, God, dude. I didn't know you were in that shirt. I didn't understand. I want to see that shirt. Can I see it? Just go to his shirt. I want to see his little animal shirt,

his little Sesame Street inside out shirt. Wait, I'm sorry, where? Jay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could almost go to this video of just my comedy. Oh, here. Apparently.

No, I mean like the comedy's probably easy. Apparently, I didn't know that. What? That you were wearing an, Inside Out shirt. Well, I told you that the shirts I had were like fuel barbiters. And my shirts were graphic teas from big and tall. So I said it would be like, you know, guns and roses and an animal from the Muppets.

And everyone was like, that was animal from the Muppets. I go, oh, yeah, that makes sense. I like that shirt. You sure it wasn't a backup bit? Told you how bad cameras are, though, back then. That's a brown shirt then, for sure. Go when he first came up, Christine. Before he does his big opener.

Yeah. Oh, this shirt. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I can see it. I might be Kermit the Frog or, no, it's animal.

There's hair. Well, why? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yep. Why was it inside out? Oh, my God, it's so, that's one of the things where you don't see it. It's like a magic eye. Yeah, it's wild.

You know, it's funny. At the point, I don't know if it's inside out. I think it might just be like, you know, washed and getting faded. You wore it was your favorite shirt? It was one of them. Yeah. It's a good brown shirt. Yeah.

You know who's getting Fugged up the ass that night in jail Hang on, hang on, hang on Fucked in his ears Oh, look at the way he perfectly fat guy Takes the shirt up He was getting fucking his ass that night Okay, all right, all right

I got to hear the one guy go, Oh You knew who was getting fucked up the ass that night in jail Oh Oh Shit That was real Oh, that was real concern

You didn't care for that That was who Oh Nobody Oh Oh This night That was not white girl support

That was black guy Fucker Oh Sounds like she's riding a roller coaster She is the roller coaster of funny Oh my god You have such clean audio Because nobody else was saying anything

She recorded it Nobody else would say a word She's right next to the microphone Oh man, you really killed her. And shit. Has Yamanika, a hero? We never got to that. Apparently, I sent the video in the chat,

Christine fellow hero. She was at a park, and I guess somebody was, some crazy guy was... I saw the video. I couldn't tell what's going on. I guess some crazy guy was squirting some type of flammable fluid. all over the bathroom

all inside. It says it right here. I don't see if you see something say something, but I didn't see any more. Well, she actually confronted the guy and then called the cops and they came,

or security came and dealt with it. So she was again, but I would say that's a hero. That's a full hero. If that's what she did it, for sure a hero, I just saying, like, from what I saw,

I can't see what she's doing. I think you can read it. Go ahead, play it. This is the go-to hero song, but there she is. There's the fire department. She called the fire department, and she's telling them that some crazy guy was in there.

But he's gone now. Yeah, I think so. Because that fireman would be doing a terrible job if he's let Yamanika walk in first with a psycho. He's right in here. Follow me. I think they told her to beat it. She's walking out now.

Yeah. It's in the description what she did. Okay. Run it there. There you go. Nikki Sunshine writes, thank you, Yamanika, for doing your best to be.

protect the kids and the parents to the Langston Hughes playground in Harlem. Someone doused the bathrooms with gasoline, and you didn't hesitate to alert the authorities and resolve the issue. If you see something, say something. It's our responsibility to keep each other safe. That is a... That's heroic. That is...

If she's the only person who did anything, that's very heroic. What if the person went in there and just threw a match and lit all a bunch of kids on fire? And she doesn't even have kids. She has a curious thing. Well, you have to be... I tell you what, if you're taking a fucking shit and can't get out of a flaming public bathroom, you probably are embracing it.

You're like, oh, this makes sense as I was supposed to go. Besides, I have a curse. I'm taking a shit in a fucking park bathroom. I've shit in park bathrooms. You have? Yeah. Why? You always have to shit after you come. Every time a fucking,

every time some jiggleo blows you, you have to fucking something about it knocks a crap loose. Dude, I threw that up in the air, and I'm looking at your face, waiting for you to take a swing, and you waited right till it was over the plate and just hit it out of the park. Yeah, I've shit in a public restaurant, like a one of those. No. I shit, I shit. Remember when Times Square got the first, like, bathroom?

And it was almost like a little, like a spaceship. Like, you went in and there was a toilet and the door, like, it was like a round thing. It was outside? It was outside. I don't know if it's still there. But it was back when Bloomberg was making Times Square. There was a bathroom in Times Square, and it kind of opened up, and you went in, and it's shut,

and you could... Just a one-person toilet. One-person toilet. You could take a piss or a d-you-took. You took a shit in it? It was like the first week, I think. You know what I mean? It wasn't...

Well, you wanted to break it in? Yeah, I don't know. Just to say your shit in time-trip- You saved up a duke to fucking go up there? Dude, I almost fucking shit my pants coming here today. Why? I barely made it up to the 36th floor. I went and pooped in the bathroom today.

That's not what Facebook told me the person that was going to shit themselves today. They said it would be me or maybe Jacob. I've now fallen in, my algorithm has gotten into me to the initial I'm going to write is, have you seen any of these? The initial

I'm going to write. This initial will I mean everything from like fall in love with you hate you to shit their pants to not be able to sleep tonight and they just do an initial. It's just random initial. But the initial I saw about shitting themselves today was Jay.

me or Jacob. I'm confused. Am I not getting this? Are you getting this? So, let me see, is he a pen? Is anybody getting this? No.

If you're not getting it, I'll explain it better. I'm sorry. No, it's all right. Look, I'm stupid, so I got to sometimes... I have an algorithm thing that keeps popping up on my social stuff.

And it goes, it'll say on the screen, this person is going to fall in love. The person with this initial, a person with this initial is going to fall in love with you. A person with this initial is going to shit their pants. Right.

A person with this initial is going to do whatever. And then it does like a drawing. It's always like a heart. And then it'll be like, you know, it'll be like a B for Bobby. Bobby. Bobby, love Bobby. Could be Bobby. Could be Bobby.

It could also, no, just be Bobby in this room. But I had one that says this person's going to shart themselves. Tomorrow, I think it even said. Tomorrow. It was yesterday. J. Tomorrow, but it was the letter J. So it says this person is going to shit themselves with the letter.

or Jay and that person because it's Jay or Jacob might shit themselves tomorrow. Well, it would have been today. As an influencer, I've never heard of this. Oh, God, I'm going to throw up. Don't do it. Oh, that last plop. The initial thing.

You've ever got one of those? You've never seen one? Don't do the plop. I want it, though. I've never seen it either. Well, it's stupid. It doesn't mean anything. But it's like, it feels like, you know,

fortune-telling shit, but it's like this person will slip and fall. It's the science. I am the science. This is wild. How many heroes are in this community? Yeah. I mean, real heroes. I know. It's wild. It's like,

I opened up a Pandora's box with this. Like, we're obligated now. I feel like mine gets glazed over a bit much. Can I hear yours again? Because I forgot it. What? I'm sorry. I made a weird face at a mentally challenged boy.

Right. Maybe man. And then I looked to have a good laugh about his behavior, not knowing he was mentally handicapped. Right. And I did a thing where I looked over it. What I found out was to be his people with a face of like, this fucking homeless piece of shit, right? And then he sat down with them and they were like, good. boy, adult, whatever his name is.

And then I felt terrible. And then I paid for everyone at his table's meal. Yeah, it gets me every time. Yeah, I guess it's these kind of things. It gets me every time. Right at the end, it's just, you know what I mean? I'm just right at the end, I'm like, fuck. Yeah, it's kind of, the ones I see, it's actually drawing it is that's like written on the screen.

But it's, uh... These initials are, oh, these stupid things. Re-caption. Well, this one's got like a whole, a whole, fucking. I thought she was going to draw. No, no, no. The thing I see, it's just a piece of paper. It's just like a, it's like, it's like, it's like, it almost seems like an ad. I hope both you

shit your pants tomorrow. Can I, uh, well then we're going to have to get like some type of, some type of stupid muskrat to hang, putting your shirt to get the hex off you. I don't think I, I, I can't remember. I don't think I ever shit my pants. You could use, you could use a cuckooey treatment. Yeah, nice hot cuckooey. You've never shit your pants ever.

You did at one point. As a child, as an adult, you've never shit. Not even, dude. Twilly trained out of the gates. I don't think I did. Ever? I don't think I have. Lou, have you ever shit your pants?

Twice. Once in high school, after a Mexican night of that and milk and cereal the next day. Nice. And then I was sick and I thought I was just farting, but I wasn't just farting. Oh, that's a nice one. Yeah, everyone's caught one of those. What about you, Lou? How many times you shit your pants?

I mean, I drank for 34 years. So 34,000 times? I'd say a good 10 times. 10 times. I'd say more, but yeah. I mean, that I can recall, sure. Yeah. I've got a limited amount, but they're there.

Yeah, I got them too. I think I have... Like three, maybe. I have like four. Two epic ones, but four not full... Like, not... I'm saying full shit. Like a shit.

shit where it's like a shit like a little a little snickers coming out maybe once or twice yeah I think too Christine how many times you shit your pants never shut up full shit well how many times for a woman a little bit is a full shit we don't expect you a little it's a lot for a woman when it comes to shit yeah yeah

when it comes to shit I'd say yeah a little is a lot a little bit never happen stop it you don't have to admit it I know what you're doing right now You're being a lady. You've never, ever had a little squeaky come out. Not once. Do you think Dawn's blasted shit in her pants before? I don't even see her shit, which is wild.

She's sneak shits, which I love. But no, I don't think she's shit her pants. Why are you having such a hard time with Christine? Well, Christine was a fucking, she was, you know, drinking and partying. Don's never fucking drank and went nuts, partying. Is that what you tell us you? Well, not that I know of. She's never been into, like, I mean, she might have.

Before I met her, just been in Everett just fucking hanging out at the park. And, hey, Kathy, I just shit my pants. Maybe. Celebrate good times. Come on. Oh, shit. Yeah. We have to take a break.

We have to take a break. We got all these ads, man. Where's the ads? I lost them. What? It's so unprofessional. Pop them probably fine. Well, try to find him to him before we get back.

right Jacob that's not a professional we can it's unbelievable didn't we have just a big fucking crazy ad meeting yeah I think we did bad you do it we killed great dude that day I fucked up I said the first guy's name right you shouldn't have fucking assumed it was a hard name it was a hard name it was a hard name what was it again Bruce but it was two U's no it was like one U S and U Rusa I I said gruss yeah you said gruss you read it phonetically Bobby wasn't there. Bobby forgot about the meetings. He wasn't there yet. We forgot to hear the time wrong. I had to you. And he wasn't there yet.

And I just, I panic and I start just going in like, kind of like, I'm like, oh, I'll talk to him like I've known him forever. And I mean, like, I mean, Bobby popped on before I was getting ready to say to one of the girls like, oh, my bitches, what? And he popped on and I was like, Bobby wouldn't want me to do that.

Well, what really sucked is that. I came on he goes, I said his name run it and I just said it right. Bobby's he goes, dude, he goes, it's gross. And I was like, yeah, it is. Where were you? You know how hard my heart was pounding when I said it, though? I panic, I just started reading everybody's name on the screen. I go, hi, so you first and last name.

Hi, first and last name. Hey, gruss. Hey, hey, hey, something, gruss. I go, I think I went, I guess I go, I think it sounds like a name where people always call you just that, right? People go like, gruss. And he goes, yeah, or like, gruce. And I went, I got to go. And then Bobby popped on.

I can't go. Bobby's here now. He's a camper, Gruce. Yeah, he was a good sport. He's also more on like our side. Yeah, yeah. Well, he hates me. He loves you.

Grooose. Classic Gruse. Classic Gruse. Oh, yeah. Commercial. Bobby Kelly is going to be a comics roadhouse in Connecticut. That's right, a Mohican son. April 17th and 18th.

Come for the comedy. Stay for the after show Mail Review. They still do that? It's burlesque. It's girls and guys. No, it's just guys just as girls. Guy burlesque. It's guy burlesque.

Better. Way better. If you're going to do it at a casino. I'm actually in it. I think if you fuck a trans or drag queen in recycled air, it doesn't count. After he's going to be at Uncle Vinnie's in New Jersey. Cleveland, Ohio, Stanford, Connecticut, New Orleans, all on deck for tickets and all of his tour dates. You visit punchup.com slash Robert Kelly.

And check out his YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly. comedy and of course every Tuesday night catch him live if you're in the New York area 7 p.m. at the Fat Black Pussy Cat lounge to comedy cellar it's clockwork and check out our YouTube page fucking subscribe to it I ate a lot of shit for this I want to get a plaque

Yeah you will get a plaque Maybe we'll work up to Witsk What is it Wits? The Wits is good Is it's going to be close to their million subscriber plaque really Million Big Joe O'Cerson is going to be at the helium in St. Louis this weekend.

After that, April 3rd and 4th. And then the Funny Bone in Orlando, April 10th and 11th, let me hear you. Alright. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Woo! After that, he's going to be in Nashville

for Story Wars in Kansas City. For tickets and all the tour dates. Go to bigjicomedy.com. YouTube. YouTube.com slash at Big J. Okerson. Don't forget, my company, punchup. Live slash Big Jokerson.

I have a 30% stake in that. Of course you do. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Woo!