The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Graffiti (feat. Graham Kay)

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

Graham Kay has a new special out and was once deported for graffiti!

And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Shack-Kon is all I wanna do Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Shack-Kon

Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Shack-Kon Do you do Jerry O'Connell and Feldog with Scram? I'm not actually curious to hear Graham's Canadian school experience.

Oh! What did they call that up there? They call it primary or secondary school? Yeah, because we really have to over explain Graham the whole. Feldog on, Feldog the cross. We got Sophie buttold him on, right? Yeah, second hour. felt about gone all fell dog the cross we got so we bottled them all right yeah second hour first hour or do Jay you see in felt bug yeah so that's something to look for too little

tease on the bonfire series xM facts now here's the fun of it fact stuck do we ever get to those things I Christ only got Christ only that's big J.O.K.S. and I'm dance order um the J.O.K.S. and I'm dance odor um the J. O. Connell and Feldog we've seen it we the second it dropped it was we were alerted we just need some time to dig in and J's right explaining context to a lot of context a lot of context we have a real history for someone we've never met we have a real history with Corey Feldman yeah man we were day dreaming today about him just walking into the studio one day

Man if we can get in the studio felt black Lou proposed doing a Paris Hilton style I didn't work for Paris on At the end of the fucking interview. She was like you guys are way better than I thought you're gonna be He's doing some show He's doing some show with all the lost boys music. I think they are something. I don't know but somebody we'll figure it out We're gonna get into it tomorrow He doesn't have one picture where he's not holding a fake crystal ball in front of it I love it. He's a majestic man. He's a majestic man entering the studio

Longtime friend hilarious. He's got a new special out right now called live in a bowling alley on YouTube. Please welcome to the show. Welcome back to the show. Graham K. Hi everybody. Thanks for having me. I'm right. I said everybody. There's a lot of people out of us here. Jacob's at home. Jacob's at home, you know, mending. He's on the mend. He is on the mend. Graham, welcome. Congrats on the new special. I'm a bowling alley. Yeah, I appreciate it. I filmed it in a bowling alley. Where at the gutter gutters great yeah it's awesome where is it is New York Brooklyn New York venue so they do a CISK comedians you should know okay and very

hip very cool cool room great room too yeah yeah it is a cool room so it's like it's like a bar but they have like a bowling alley on one side and like a kind of like you know Pool and like whatever in the middle and then in the back they have like a like a stage area Yeah, did you like dress it up for the special? I just kind of leave it the way I dressed it up. I hired a Bunch people did me favors that like people at work for like HBO and I had like people like the Lighting person put some special tube lights in the back and it looks really cool. Yeah, it doesn't look like a bowling alley.

That is fun now though, where's comedy is going? Some people are like, there's more community of people coming together and being like, well are we gonna build grandma special? Yeah, and it's like all these people coming together, like saving the, you know what I mean? You're gonna help this, this, this lost idiot. Yeah, I like that. Cause it used to just be very corporate or whatever,

but even the way J.J. just filmed his special live, it's KankFest, people came together that work in the business that were like, hell yeah, I'll fucking work on that, you know? Yeah, that was nice, yeah, favors, thank God. But it's, that's what, comedy's like, you see, it's good, it's fun seeing good comics,. But it's that's what comedy's like you see it's good It's fun seeing good comics get favors from people that they know to be like it's a scary

You you're talking about Jay You self-produced you self-produced it everything right. Yeah, I did everything. That's a scary and different I know I just did it too. So it's a very like yeah, I hope this is well received Yeah, you kind of have like a bit more of a following than me. So it's like you have like a whole thing. Well, yeah, these are the skanks and stuff for sure. But this is just a guy. Like, just a regular, I just, you know,

but this is what all of us have to do. You have to go and do press runs and get people to, yeah, for sure. Yeah, and now you have a thing that lives, what I like about the YouTube model and what I think it's great about it is everyone can see it Yeah, there's no boy. There's not like I think like I wish more I wish I was able to take like my HBO special and put it on YouTube I wish I would have been part of the deal and now you see Netflix doing that with people

Yeah, with the few specials they do give out They're signing these deals where they're like hey, I'll put 30 minutes out on YouTube So you can watch it. Oh cool and then you can watch the rest on I always thought that like neighbor got to he's getting huge right now. I open for him He's not a good. Yeah, he is he is he's doing arenas, but I mean like like like next level arena huge like I literally on this last Weekend we were doing I saw the change. The first date, the Thursday. His big boy voice came in. There he goes.

He got, hey man, you have every date in your life. Hi. He was home. That's for no use. My wife. No idea. This was gonna happen. How do you do?

I'm older than eight, my guess. That's a very good answer. But you said you saw the turn. What did you see? Like the first Thursday was like, I think one of his last theater dates And then it's like last theater dates and me and Jay are like Your dates sound pretty cool. Yeah, that's pretty fucking sick. There's like

Two better than 200 people in Orlando In a fancy room This will better than a half-filled Charlotte comedy comedy. I doubt that. The Charlotte comedy zone? Yeah. So you're seeing, like, you saw, I mean, you saw shows, because you've been, we're all friends with Nate. You've all been friends with Nate for a long time, but you go on the road with Nate and you've seen the turn from, like, doing one theater show a night to two theater shows

the night to four in a week. So they can't, we can't fit four in a night. You know, there's just these, the guy who works the ropes can't do it. Has it done three? He's done. Yeah, I think he's done three once. No, uh, yeah, you're turning around 1500 people. Yeah.

And I guess it's just too much for the guy who like pulls on the curtain. Yeah. And so they got to do a bigger than anyway, what I was going to say is is that i think that would have happened five years earlier had his comedy central specials been on youtube i think that like because there those are so great and it's like i think is hour long comedy central special came out during that huge packy al fight that happened like five years ago. No, it did. It had shut down society.

What I loved is, that was the most Nate thing. Yeah. Because for a while, Nate's caught the break. Like now he's riding the wave. But for a while, if you were friends with Nate, you always saw him get stopped in a hilarious way. Yeah. You would do like, for instance, he moved to Los Angeles

and then he was back here doing sets and that's when Jimmy Fowon found him out. And was like, well, now you've got to come through New York. I out. And it was like, well, now you got to come through New York. I'm not going to develop you in LA. You got to develop in New York. So he now he's living in LA flying back to New York all the time. But then he filmed part time magic and the special was incredible. He filmed it at the Grammar C Theater.

And it was still when hours on Comedy Central meant something. And it was like building up and then Comedy Central has called me and they go, we got your air date, it's May 5th and May 5th was Floyd Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao, a fight that had boxing fit, I mean the whole world was waiting to see. It was a more than boxing. It was like, girls I know who are like aren't into sports,

we're like, were you gonna see that Pacquiao fight? Pacquiao versus Mayweather, but Nate just having that you're right it did it was like uh it was very fun and so funny and they are at once it's not like they let's work Jay and I both yeah the other accessibility is important yeah and you know Jay has an incredible special live at Webster Hall that was also on Comedy Central and it was like Comedy Central really fucked up getting it out there like putting stuff out there,

because they were on Paramount Plus now. Yeah, but they really believed in like, another person to hate. But it's a little too late kind of thing. We were like, man, that really could have, they should have put it, I think what Comedy Central should have done at the beginning was put half hours on YouTube.

Once they aired the Comedy Central half hours, well, they had a whole thing for a while, where all the half hours were on Netflix, because we used to watch them on Netflix all the time. It was so exciting when that came out. And then they completely wiped and they tried to do CC direct. So everybody tried to do their own online programming for a period of time.

I mean, CC direct, all that shit. And this will make you laugh, that this weekend the guy hosting for me, very nice guy named Marvin in Orlando. Big fan, very big fan, but 100% of the shows brought me up as from comedy central radios, the bonfire. That's great. And the podcast you guys all know I'm a lover of Legion of Skank.

I just want just the smell. I always think that when people because that happens a lot, I always think they're going like, that's kind of like a cool ironic title, like a Legion of a thing, but that's not what it is. You're making up this heavy response. It's not. No, it actually meant like a Legion of horse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're tired of a full Legion with one. Yeah, that's a very, yeah, yeah, you're hard to have a full Legion with one. Yeah, we were talking before before you came in here about high school experiences. I talk about cheating. That's how we got us into it. Like how kids now must cheat. We had a couple teachers call it and say that it's very like high tech now. It's high tech. Kids can take pictures of the test and then there's like apps that'll find it in a fucking textbook. Oh. That's your, on like actual like math or science questions.

That would way better than what I did when I was in university and. Now university is high school, correct? In Canada? Yes, everything is backwards. Yeah, okay. So university is high school. That we, yeah, it is.

Yes, yes. I thought university was college though, just called university. And math class is gymnasium. Yeah. Yes. I thought university was college though just called universe and math class is gymnasium Welcome to the world. Yeah, open your eyes. I've just been walking up. How did you cheat? And every morning I force on my left shoe onto my right foot Yeah, and I do the other one on the other foot. What? I know why am I from Canada? Oh wow I pray to Rick Marrattas

Please honey shrunk my heart. I was a national day of mourning when he got punched in the face in New York City. That should have been. I felt terrible. Yeah, I wanted to apologize to him myself. That was the funniest thing we said though, after that we're going to punch. Do you think after you hit him, like he got 10 steps away and he goes, get out of the Rick Moran as well, isn't it? Some of them bitch.

I just punched a little shop of horror, I just punch the gatekeeper. Oh my god. Oh my god. I just hit little giants, man. What I did in colleges, I, uh, colleges is I, I know. College, is that middle school, what is college? American University. American University.

The one after post-secondary education. Okay. So secondary was high school for you. That's right. And then university was college. That's so unnecessarily confusing. That's what it is. It's already confusing.

High school is called secondary school in Canada. And then college is called university. So you are... So what's post-secondary? It's also... Okay. So I was trying to be clear and I guess that didn't help. No. So we call high school high school. Mm-hmm. And then we call college university. But if we have college, but that's where you like learn how to like repair a VCR or something. That's a tech school. School. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they do that anymore.

I think they've moved on to DVDs. Yeah. I think so. DVD repair. My ours was called Scrock. And it was like, yeah. We learned blue collar shit. Yeah, yeah.

And they make more money than me. To fry. To fry. And like, you know, heating cooling. Any kind of tech, Lincoln tech. Shut on HVACs. Yeah. A lot of people Shut on HVACs. A lot of people don't age fat listed in the show. Love it.

This is actually a very good cheating way to cheat if you ever wanna cheat. I could not pass. So I took a guitar, because I thought it would raise my GPA in college. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You thought it was gonna be an easy class. It was by far my hardest.

I'm bad at guitar. It's like, When first day it's just some old rocker. some old rocker He's what we're gonna do This is a university college college just think of a college like University. Yeah, yeah, you're saying college and university are two separate things Right, I'm trying to come to your side. I'm just trying to be saying college for us. Yeah, he's calling a college for us But I will I will kill myself right here

Community college. This is how you tricky to call University football on Saturday. I hate this place I don't like it. Yeah, this shit. So you're in you're in post-secondary school That's right and you're taking guitar and was the guy was just like you have to be really good at guitar Well, he was just really good and other people already like people who take guitar. They're everyone was doing it who already played guitar. And I was like the only person who was actually a beginner at guitar. And also I'm holding his hands on the neck. He's like so it's drum.

Then crazy. This is med school. You're saying. So when you went in there, you're like, I want to learn guitar and they're like this is 301 Hey everyone was super sick. He was in cra- he was like a classical guitar player. Can you play? People knew about now. No, no, I can't learn it at all. I only know I only know E minor Well, how did you say a song? I only know the beginning of hotel California?

I want to know how he fucking cheated. he had Eric Clapton dress up like him You air guitar while playing just me the faces There's no way I can lie like that. This is true in Junior high I passed music class because I had trombone and I didn't know anything I just I just copied everyone's arm movements and I literally literally like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like I sang into the mountain. No, I was like a little step behind all the arm movements, but they're like, why is good?

Steven Scott somewhere shaking. He's got the chills. He's like, it was so simple and right in front of me, the whole time. Cheat trombone. He's the one to cheat. Because there was a match with all those other guys. Yeah, there was a group of people, tromb so it's hard class. What do you do?

He's just like Angus young comes in he's like oh K He just starts doing the strut I think it's I think it's never tuned No, I have perfect tuning this isn't tuned Is this a fender? I can't play fenders. He goes. I'm Mr.. K We've tuned this over and over he goes it's perfect. He is still not right. No, you don't have what I have Is this dropped D something about shreds on some doors making up to drop? Join me to you're like talking to me. You know they just want me to play like anything or do never you sure

This is in key Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude I don't know. Professor Slash. Is this the answer? Are you sure this is a guitar? Excuse me, Professor Deville? Professor Nuge? Can I ask you a question real quick? Is this shredding or not? I was hoping to play more of a winged electric guitar. How did you cheat in guitar?

It was a written test. Oh, really? So what I did is I did this also for Like the science credit. I took I had a history degree and I was bad at science You need to take one science course. I also did this for guitar is that you I printed out all of the Answers like to what I thought they would be like you know They you're gonna be one of ten things And so you print out all of the things

in like 0.3 font on a laser printer. And they could also, two or four font works pretty well too. Whatever it is, and they get long and do it on a white pen and get a white pen and then scotch tape it on your white pen on one side and when they come by to check, see if you're cheating, you just flip over your pen.

And then that side of the pen has no writing on it. And then I bought readers from Walgreens. Sure. And so you could see the right. That's crazy. Oh, you did the back the fine press. Did they not give you headaches? Yeah.

Were you like, no. Did the old lady chainer. Let me go. Yeah. Great. Grammy, all right. I know. P.S.

Well, the throw up power chords. I tried to read this crossword puzzle. Oh, I do think that. Power chords. See, Keith Richards wrote satisfaction in his sleep. Swing arm, round and around. Like, peat the towns. And so you cheated and got through and got it. Yes, yes, see. That's all you need.

You get degrees, baby. That's all you need. Yeah. To get through. Was your high school a big school spirit like school? Was everyone very involved in like the school there? Or was like, I said, I felt very disconnected from you. No one very involved in like the school there was like I said I felt very disconnected from No one is involved in Canada at all they are a little bit but not like here like people are like you see you see Santa Barbara Yeah, yeah, and then like hug it's like not even but that's that's college

I heard him saying high school like your high school like you know 9th 10th You put sports you put hockey and football I got sent boot camp. So I hated it and I wanted everyone, I hated everyone there. Boot camp? Yeah, for what? Well, I had obsessive compulsive disorder and I was too embarrassed to tell my parents that if I didn't touch everything three times,

I thought my face was gonna change and do a killer I saw on the TV that I just told them I was on drugs. Okay. And then they were like drugs are bad and they sent me to boot camp. Right, really? Yeah, yeah.

Instead of just going like, I'm a weirdo. Well, you're like four drugs. I just have to touch things. Yeah, you're like 14 So you're like I don't it's too embarrassing. I'd rather just drugs are way cooler. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'll just do some fucking drugs. I'll just pretend I'm on drugs and people think of my bad ass It is some weirdo who twitches and you go to boot camp and you're with all these kids that have dare I say behavioral issues Yeah, yeah, was it just like I should have just told them I had OCD? Yeah, they sent me to Saskatchewan. It's like the worst place. It's north of North Dakota.

I'm from like a city of a million people, half my high, I'm like from live downtown, half my high school is white, and the others are, you know, Oh, but I'm confused about my name. I'm always like, ice. Yeah. Half white high school, okay. Okay, I'm thinking it around. He's like, nice. Yeah. Half white ice cool. Okay. Okay, I'm thinking.

And then they sent you just a scatch warm. Yeah, yeah, which is like exactly what it sounds like. It's just cold. That's the most. There's like, that is like the only, not white people are, are, are, are, are, uh, inuit people. Yeah. And they hate white people.

We are, our hockey team. Why? Because we built awesome stuff on their stupid land. Yeah. And they hate white people. We are our hockey team. Why, because we built awesome stuff on their stupid land. Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome. Roller coasters.

Yeah, you're welcome. We're putting a fucking water park on this ice patch. Yeah, sorry. It's scared of heights. Yeah. But maybe we were bringing in some fun shit, you know. Chief, chief queasy balls. Yeah.

Just because your ancestors were buried here doesn't mean we can't put a roller coaster with. Yeah, also, you know, chief, chief, chief, queasy balls. Yeah, just because your ancestors are buried here, doesn't mean we can't put a roller coaster with. Yeah, also, you know, you're on the, you're on the, we'll move the headstones, we won't move the bodies. You're talking to a, a loves icy cones.

That's my native name. I love desserts, but it runs with funnel cake. Uh, so you go to Saskatchewan. Did you get better hockey? Cause you're like in a cold area, it's all kids that are mean and good at fighting.

I got better at fighting and then I tore my hip, which I still a problem I'm getting hip surgery on November 10th. What are you the undertaker? Is it real question? Have you and Justin Silver ever like talk bonded over these? You have very similar stories. You know Justin had the same same crazy OCD growing up. I think he did start fucking around with drugs,

got sent off to one of those schools. He just, this weekend went on like a getaway with like the kids from that school, but it was like the same kind of thing like that he had there. Like his kids. He went to like military camp. Not a military?

He was like a bunch of like, you know, bad kids, they just kind of put together and they don't like, they don't bond. I remember, we went to continuation school. It's not like, it's not like OCD school, but still like just all the bad kids. So, there's no OCD school. It's so funny that everyone looks like that magnetic football game. That's their football team. Hey, I owe you, I owe you, I owe you, I owe you.

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And continuation school go to Scrock, which is where you learn like mechanics, hair dressing. I tell you what I know, the thought Christine was gonna be a lesbian building houses. From continuation school to beauty school. Yeah, that's what it is. That's what I did. The alternative high school kids were always like when they show up at parties, you're like, all right, this is getting dicey.

Yeah, we knew the drug dealers because I went to one in Redondo and my friend Emily went to the one Sherry and Torren. So when you like the drug dealers from both of the schools, pretty good. I'm sorry. I'm just joking around spit. No problem. When you came back home, when you came back to Ottawa, were you like face tattooed? Were you like a badass? I had nothing to do but work out and I gained 50 pounds. I was like, I was like 245 pounds. Jesus Christ. I was way bigger than I am now. You're like a big guy too. I was jacked. People were like scared of me and stuff.

Really? It was awesome. Did you get ladies being like, I need to tame this Saskatchewan beast. I like girls who didn't like me. Like I like party girls. And then I remember I took off my shirt and this girl just started laughing at me. Like it was like my first girlfriend. I took off my shirt for the first time and she was just laughing because I had like a gigantic chest.

Like she had been dating like Wafy. I was just kind of like, I think I was like, it was a weird different thing. Jesus Christ, I got a gigantic chest. Like she's the last, like she had been dating like Wafi art to be guys. She was kind of like, I think there's those extra weird different things. Jesus Christ, they got a beef cake. That is a funny reaction that I surprised doesn't have anymore. Girl's kind of like, I think,

man, you care so much. Yeah, exactly. That's what it was. Like, yeah, it's really what it is when you see a person like, is this all, you got it? It's got to be all you do. Yeah, I don't know who I am, so I put it here. That's so funny. I've never thought about that reaction.

Of someone being like, damn, you always look at him. You always look at him, you always look at him, you always look at him, you always look at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him,

you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him,

you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, you're always looking at him, Why would you let's get I bet you'd have I bet it you'd be a little more fun to hang out with if you got rid of two of those Abs yeah, yeah, and you'd use jack so you think you're gonna take off and she's gonna faint and she's like Yeah, you know, I'm fuck you laughing at yeah, you got a friend her physically. Yeah, I fucking kick your ass I'm crushing that refrigerator. Yeah, what do you think of that? Yeah, yeah, they stupid slut So I found her ex boyfriend. I killed him. Yeah, where they're people they where they You think that you stupid slut. So I found her ex-boyfriend and I killed him. Yeah. Where they're people that you had problems with in Ottawa where you come back and you're like,

hey, I went to military school and they're like, fuck. Yeah. I always wanted to like do the like beat up my bully, but I was just too much of a pussy. You were too nice. Yeah. Well, I was not too nice. You took your shirt off and you laughed at you too?

Yeah. Ah! The muscles were for the weirds. The stupid gay came back muscley. You muscley-queeve. Do you guys remember? No, it's worse now. Oh god.

It's... Now it's harder to run. Oh, she bought these old big. To my friend, my friend David was like a big kid. He was like, you know, overweight or whatever. It can fight like a motherfucker because he had older brothers. Yeah.

And he did a lot of bad shit. He did a lot of bad shit. One time he just, he shaved his head, he had a buzzed head. And one time in seventh grade science, he just covered his head in Karmat and the lip balm because he thought it was funny. But just throughout, just throughout class, it was just took a girl gave you no, remember those little things, a car,

where did those go? Carmex. Carmex. He just took a thing, a carmex and just put it on his head until he just looked over and David said it was all shiny. And he's like, David, what are you doing? He's like, he just didn't give a fuck. Same class he raised his head and he raised his hand

and asked our teacher, he goes goes how do mosses fuck? We're learning about mosses and they're like yeah, I get it that picture flipped out on It's just a giant man with a really good. When we were 13 he beat up to 16 year olds I could fight and then it's like Mike Tyson would do. Yeah, his mom sent him to military school I killed drug dealers. I think those men with skate of me now. It's just a boy But he went to military school and then he came back fucking jacked and everyone was like oh no except his friends cuz now you're like alright and David could really fuck some shit up but that was

the his friends like okay yeah who brought in the beef train? No, is that shut up? I'm sure I remember who was the first guy in our group to get a man body. I can't remember anybody. Do you remember from getting a man body in my life? I think I stopped hanging out with teenagers. I mean, I went immediately to like adult adults. It was weird seeing my friends.

I thought I was coming 19. So all my, I didn't seeing my friends. It's just a comedy 19. So all my friends kind of like not be 19. Yeah, yeah. I kind of jumped to the hang out like 40 year olds and shit. Sad fucking comics. I see someone recently where I hadn't seen them since they were like a boy like 17.

And now they're like 32. And it was just crazy because he looked like his father. Yeah, I was like, oh my god, you look like one of the grownups now. My friend from that boot camp, and now they're like 32, and it was just crazy because he looked like his father. You know, I was like, oh my God, you look like one of the grownups now. My friend from that boot camp, he was a year older than me, and then he graduated, and I didn't see him again till like 10 years later.

I was like doing comedy and he was like in Calgary, and I saw him, and he looked, he looked like a little boy, and he had like no pubes, and then when I saw him, he looked like a little boy and he had like no pubes. And then when I saw him, he looked like Kiano Reeves. And I had to like think about like match their voices because it's still weird when I see him. I'm like, what the hell? Yeah, I saw a friend in Connecticut, not long ago,

came that's one of my shows, who was like my little kid, like every day friend. Yeah. And then having seen him in years and and yet because he's like shaved head And the whole thing just looks so different. You know, I mean like it's just odd. Yeah, like yeah, this is adult that Yeah, this guy yeah, just you're like, oh, yeah, haven't seen long time. Did we do gay stuff? Ever we were younger? What's funny is the one of my friends like little brothers He's kind of like the annoying little brother. He's only a year younger than us.

But all through high school, we'd be at parties or whatever, go to his house. He came out in Charlotte, him and his wife live in North Carolina, and they came out and was like, hey, Ricky, and he's just like a man. He's like, I'm a teacher now. I saw my friend Randy Relaford, who's a lawyer in Orlando last weekend, can't see me.

I've seen him a couple of times. He comes out every time. Sounds like a made up name. Randy Relaford. We're just making up names. Ricky Robbins, Randy Relaford. Randy Relaford from the Relaford since? Hey, what about Ricky Robbins? It's all a a couple of times. He comes at every time. Sounds like a made up name. We're just making up names. Ricky Robinson. Randy Rellford. Randy Rellford from the Rellford Sins. Hey, what about Ricky Robinson?

It's all a literally made up name. He's like, it's so funny for how much I get called like a racist or how much racial humor I do. Randy Rellford and Randy Bracey are my two buddies from like school, back in like grade school. That come out to see me in Orlando every time. Randy Relofer, I believe, is now the dean of law school. What?

He's been a lawyer for so long. And Randy Bracey is like, you can look at it, I forget what is he's a government. He's like in like Florida government. See, that's what's crazy is like your friends. And then there's their white, their white scuzzball friend comes out with a bunch of juggalos to say hi to him. Hey, hey, Randy Robble sorry to come on your cool awesome black world my dumb white bullshit the guy who runs the Florida government is probably okay with the Ray stuff. No, right. Oh, oh, no, no, I said that they had no problem with my jokes and all

And I was like that. It's just more like just so funny that like for all the thing. You know, I mean I'm like your parents man Like your parents would be so much happier if you came home with Randy Rella for the Randy Bracey than me. Yeah. I think that's so much better shit going on. We, uh, when I was out in San Francisco for those two Giants games in that 49ers game,

I was talking this guy at a Giants game, like kind of new Katie and Katie introduced me and I was talking this guy with the same age. We're both 39. He's a die hard 49ers fan, die hard Giants fan. We're like talking about teams growing up and he I was talking to this guy, we're the same age, we're both 39. He's a diehard 49ers fan, diehard giants fan. We're like talking about teams growing up and he's like talking about this and then I start talking to the guy

and he is like a fucking CEO of a company. Like he is so beyond whatever that I was like, damn, dude, we're the same age. I feel like a whole boy next to you. He's like, well, we bought that company and he works with LeBron and he's like, well, you know, I'm in LeBron's buying group. And we like did this and this.

And I was like, I just got a new PlayStation 5 game. So our friend Katie, you tap in that? Yeah. Don't ask me that, sir. That's my girlfriend and I'll fight you. Okay. We'll fuck up your successful old ass. It's so weird when someone's been a man for a long time.

We are just doing this. That's what it is. Because this is stunt, this is stunt at our development as actual, it keeps us just doing this. That's what it is. Because this is stunted, our development is actually, it keeps us in a bubble. That was the, yeah. That was the famous thing that, well, my famous thing I guess, but that comedian documentary that I always thought

was the interesting thing. You know about it, it was like, when he was complaining that, Ornie Adams was complaining that, all his friends now, like our bankers and doing this, and they have houses now, and they live in the suburbs and got nice cars, and he's like, and I'm still struggling living in a shithole apartment. He's like, yeah,

but that's the gig. That's the gig. It's a great example. It doesn't happen right away. It's like, you hopefully, the thing is like, what you're thinking is you're going to eventually be hopefully bigger than that. And then they are like successful wise. And if not, you are always going to be think you get to at least a level where like, well, I did what I wanted to do. I didn't want to be a banker. I, I, I, I mean, like that was the hardest thing when you, when I first started was like, I, I might not make it and it's, and then you have to make a decision right then there that it's gonna be okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like, so far, so far, it hurts quite a bit, but, you know, but the news special your news Coming out. It's out right now. Make sure you don't okay. Do okay numbers. We could use a push for real bonds Our crackle crackle. Yeah, just for small friends that might be looking it up Yeah, dude, it's fucking stressful man is very stressful and especially in your 20s because you're 20s You're watching your friends go from you know University yeah, very well now. I don't know which one that is I had a buddy that when I was living especially in your 20s, because in your 20s you're watching your friends go from university to very well-drawn.

Now I don't know which one that is. I had a buddy that when I was living in a window. It was like a very finishing school. I had a buddy that when I was, Garipet when I was living in a windowless room in Queens and with no money, my friend bought a home in the nicer part of our old neighborhood and I was like, so you own this house and he's like,

yeah, and I own that car and I'm like, huh, I hear the train go by at the time. Yeah, yeah. It was wild how long you lived in that house. Do you remember when you were? You were a famous comedian living under a train with Mike Vecchione. Yeah, got it right.

You guys went deep into it. You went, but you were smart. You were smart in my life. I know why you were doing it because you're smart. That's that catch. I totally smart thing to do, but I respected it the longer it went on. I'm surprised. I'm surprised you got as deep as you go on without being like I can't. I'd love to stack more cash, but I can't take it anymore. Oh, dude, Mike and I could have lived

together for the rest of our lives, dude. We could have been little spinsters. It was so cute. The 2,5,5,5 dojo was very productive. We'd work. We'd eat one big word. One whole those things. Oh my god, I smoked a lot of weed and he put up with a lot of bullshit. But I'll tell you what, dude, that was one of the tightest dough joes ever known to comedy. He stepped in there, your riding was tight, the voice work was impeccable. And I hope you brought your own food. Yeah, because I am not here to host.

You're not here for your goddamn eating pleasure. You want to watch Brown's 49ers? B-Y-O-F. Sack up. Order something. We had people come over the other day before a concert. I didn't go, but I didn't put anything out. Good for you.

Welcome. It was crazy. Welcome to Independence. It was wild. We literally stopped upstairs to smoke a joint. That's fine. But good for you, because we were always sure she would have had a nice cheese plate. I, uh, I, I, you used to host me. I would,

you're one of the people, uh, the apartments I would sleep on a couch if I was visiting town when I got exiled to Canada. I got kicked out of America for getting arrested. And, uh, that's wife was, uh, helping you with the wall. He's got graffiti. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. That's right. Yeah. You, where you put up stickers or were you actually doing graffiti yeah we're trying to impress a chip too yeah right yeah yeah right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah We're like night, you know, again, friends with Nate, Nate would pick us up. We'd go out with like Nate would always drove. So you just like, and then you and Nate were the older guys that did spots. Yeah. So Graham and I were doing bar shows and we'd come hang out with you guys. Just to be at the club have a beer,

fucking the comic strip or whatever. And so all of a sudden he's gone and then, you know, he's like, I got arrested and I have to go back to Canada. And then he would come back and just crash at my apartment. He crashed at Becky Eon and I. That was when we lived with handsome Pete. No, it was after. You would like dip an apple in peanut butter and be like,

Mike, can I eat this? Yeah. You're like, yeah, I'm sure I can. Yeah, dude. When I, in 2015 after Bonner wrote, like, when I started like changing my diet, and I remember Lewis was like, that was when he super got into shit. He got, like, shreds of his own as he called it.

I remember when he discovered it. And I was like, dude, apples with peanut butter, and then I was so proud. I was like, Mike, is this good? And he was like, yeah, that's good for dessert. And then Lewis came over and he was like, this peanut butter is bullshit. This is jiffy, you can't eat this.

Oh, sugar. Yeah, eat natural peanut butter. I was like, Lewis, it's the one thing I do. And he goes, you're not gonna have this peanut butter anymore. I go, Lewis, he brought, that's Lewis brought me natural peanut butter. And he put it on top of my refrigerator, he goes, that's your peanut butter. And I was like, I like jiffy.

And he opened it up and went, oh, and fucking, he'll hawk the leaky into my jiffy. And then through it in the trash. And I was like, I'm gonna go buy another one. I'm gonna go buy another one. I'm gonna throw it up from that. It made me, I was like, I'm gonna go buy another one. I'm gonna go buy another one. I'm gonna throw it up from that. It made me, I was like, Lewis, you're such a fucking idiot. I had, I talked Christina Hutchins to throwing her jacket

in the trash can one time. And I'm like, oh, that makes me feel like the swine me and Lewis work well together. Yeah, you're gonna do it. You got to draw it. Why did you throw a jacket in the trash? I don't know. We were bullying her about the,

it looked like a little kids jacket. She used to do it. Remember that, we were taking a cab ride with her and we got a throw her jacket away. It was just like you should be you're doing better than us. Yeah we're like you like this is crazy. The Rose I have my favorite when I when I finally started making a little bit of money. The Rose goes you know what bugs me about you, Sodor? You buy the same shitty clothes you just buy them a little nicer everything. And he nailed it. I've never had somebody be like, yeah, that's exactly what it is. But I remember Graham, Katie's blown away that I didn't own a computer from 2007 until

2011. Oh yeah. I just had four years right now. Nothing. No, I would use no version of a computer. I would, well, I would use VIX computer in his room. And that's when I started weird. That's when I started learning about YouTube. That's when I found that you could also watch always sunny and Philadelphia online and that's when I started getting drunk

sitting at his computer and he had a big problem with that. Yeah. So you come up with a question. Yeah. Talked me real talk. Never jerked off his computer. That's how I got back in my that's how I fucking now. That was your line. I would watch porn on his computer okay and turn it off and go to the bathroom and jerk off Lies, I'm not such a liar lying on your teeth. I swear on my father's grace. I never jerked off it You have a lot of anger towards your father You got all worked up and then running your bedroom. There you go. Oh god. This is so hot. Okay. All right, Clemens three dude out Dude you go oh god this is so hot okay alright clean history dude out

So I just don't go it'll go away. That's not a joke. I'd go to lots you Dude paled you know what I'd actually do because he worked during the day I still got a lot of shoes. I would come in the jiffy jar if anyone plays this for Vic I'll fucking kill you, but what I would do is I would as you know I jerked off in the shower So what I would do is use the stand talk you know, I jerked off in the shower. So what I would do is use the stand, talk shit to the faucet. I never talk shit. I would stand. Let me add to the mythos. No, don't.

Cause it makes me look like Patrick Bateman. We totally talk shit to the faucet. No, I actually heard Dan imports the water for a shower. So you can jerk off more east coast. From Joe's pizza. It seemed make out with the water. Kiss the water coming out. I think your warm kiss the gentle. So what water coming out. I think you're warm. You're so gentle.

So what I'd do is I'd fire the shower up and then I'd go into VIX room, watch porn on the computer, and then be like click delete, get outta here, and then I'd run back to the bathroom and be like, and then take a shower. But then Graham came over, so finally VIX was like, dude, stop using my computer. I love you. You guys you you guys stop and he worked at Fox News and they gave him one of those little tablets those little like lap I was like I

Care if he wasn't home and he wasn't using it. I don't want anyone drinking off of my chair Honestly, and then touching my mouse he would come home and I would be on it and he would be like I just want to go in my room and you're in my room and I don't want to kick you out and so we bought a TV together We had split the TV and he said why don't I buy you out in my room and I don't wanna kick you out. And so we bought a TV together. We had split the TV and he said, why don't I buy you out on the TV and I can take the TV and then I'll give you this little laptop. It was like a net surf. It was like a tiny little.

I had one of those. Yeah, an Acerp. Yeah, it was an Acer net book. It was like an Acer net book. That's exactly what I was. Yeah, a net book. And I remember Graham and I did. Chris, he was rocking an Acer when I that's exactly what I'm gonna say. And I remember Graham and I did,

because he was rocking an Acer when I met her. Yeah, good, good. I moved, when I moved to New York, I moved here with my Samsung alias and nothing else. So this is no idea. No idea. No nothing. It was so small, it was such a tiny thing. And Graham and I were doing woodshed WrestleMania

at the creek. He was Bobby Hinden and I was Andre the giant. And so he came over to like, we were gonna get in our costumes and then ride the seven over. And I walked in and I was riding it up my laptop and I was sitting on this little sitting on a little stool on this little laptop on this big wooden table and I've never seen anybody decking on open the door for Graham and when Graham saw me typing on the little thing he fell out laughing

where it delayed us by like 20 minutes because he was like, what is that? Was that a bit? Did you mean to do that? He looked like when a clown goes on a tiny bicycle. I was just in this tiny little laptop of my tinser. Yeah, I was like, I got some good stuff, Graham. Oh, Graham K.

Thank you so much for coming and hanging out with us. Thanks for having me. And check out the special everybody. Graham fucking rules. Oh, Graham K. Thank you so much for coming and hanging out. Thanks for having me and Check out the special everybody Graham fucking rules free on YouTube. I'm very proud of it self-produced it I think it looks great. Go support jokes are very good live We did out the link so it's on our Twitter. Oh, thanks. Yeah, the bonfire SXM for the two you have me go support We love Instagram Mr. Graham K Graham like the cracker K. Why that's all I got. Mr. Graham K. Graham like the cracker K.A.Y. That's all I got. Bye bye. Yeah. Graham fucking rules. We're gonna take our last break. Come back and then say goodbye

because that's all the time we have for our Pandora playlists are up. Bonfire Merchandrom. Bonfire Merch. So we just for the gram thing. Okay. BigJComedy.com. Dance on that. Comments. The bonfire. Yes. The bonfire. Yes. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes, every Tuesday through Friday mornings

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