The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Grandma Crawling On The Ceiling

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

Jay and Bob go on a date together that consists of dinner and a scary movie. Jay is impressed that Bobby's personality really shines in public, while he keeps his a secret. They watch Evil Dead Burn together and Bob gets frightened enough to almost leave the theater. | Whenever Jay texts his boxer friends before a fight, they wind up losing. | Robots are dancing on America's Got Talent and it won't be long before they rise up and attack the U.S.A. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. DJ Lou must have been DJing a Kinsignare this weekend. Rock set? This is DJ's song. Was this from Voss's Party DJ, spin list? No, I did pay attention to what he played, though. What did he play? Sebastian's Steve Aoki song,

thinking that because comedians were there, they would want to hear Sebastian going. Your mother know you dance like that. Does your father know you damn? I like the dance. Beown, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Voss is making very positive. He really switched up his Instagram.

It's all positive. I'm very proud of him. It's just about sobriety now. It's about enjoying life and being grateful and loving, you know, family. And he switched the whole thing up. And death to Palestine. No, no, it's all done. He's all about being positive and life.

I'm very proud of him that he's chosen, you know, a new, as an influencer, he's chosen a new path. I feel like you know that he has bad medical news the way you're behaving. No, you know what really, you know what happened over this weekend, which they should never do with any of us. Voss, calling me, Norton, or Keith, has ever put a black and white photo up on social media? Oh, God, why? Because at insol- I'm like, is he dead? What happened? So Keith had a black and white ad up.

I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, I saw the black and white ad and people were like, rest in peace, Keith. Yeah, dude. You can't do black and white at our age to promote a show. It has to be vibrant colors. We're still alive.

We're still alive. God, Keith. Yeah, dude. Can't pull that joke twice in two months. People are getting worried. Keith's alive, everybody. He's alive, dude. I saw that black and white photo.

I was like, God damn it. Kevin Hart told me so. There it is. Look at that. That looks like a He's dead. And I'll take with me the memory. Look at the glow around him too. He looks like he's in black heaven.

It's because he's shaking. It's hard to get a still picture, Keith. He's fucking twitching around. There's a hum around him. It sucks to be. They would call that a hum. They sucks to be at his age where a mock turtle on it and a suit is proper attire on stage.

Yeah. Keith is going to be performing at the Fat Black Pussy Cat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. He's going to... He's there tomorrow night. He's taking over my night. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night at 7 a.m. What are you doing?

I'm doing double podcast because next week we're off. You're doing double P? I got a double P. Double P? I got to do double podcasts. I got an early one with some serious guests and the second one with some fun. funny guests. I got serious and then funny.

And I'll take Hey, player. I had a good time. Don't think about me in bad way. Because I'm up here right now with Patrice. Louis, Anderson,

and we're having a lot of laughs. And you know what? There's pussy up in heaven. And it's good pussy. Money. bank money good concept can we before we even get into our weekends we had it before the weekend buddy date we did have a date and what bothered me about the date didn't bother me didn't bother me but i acknowledged it after i left i was the girl you're very you're very uh you're very

manly when you hang out with you how so i don't know dude you just have a very uh very uh very uh I got it. You know what I mean? I showed up a little late, like a girl. I'm sorry. You looked beautiful. Thank you, man. I appreciate that.

It was worth it. You had my cup, wait, and I didn't know how to use the machine. You were like, no, you came over and you pushed this and push that. Like, how do you get ice? And I'm like, you dingbat. Let me show you. And then you handed me a popcorn. You had popcorn for me.

And we sat down, you found the seats. And you're like, you sit there. You're here. And then we sat down and after we go, you know, we'll take a walk in the mall and we walked in the mall and walked around. Yeah, you spun you around the mall a couple times. Yeah. And then we, you said, hey, let's go, let's get some food. And you took me to dinner and you wouldn't, you refused to let me pay.

You go, I got the whole day. There's no way you should. By the way, if I didn't treat for that, I feel the restaurant should have given us our meals for free. Bobby Kelly becomes the mayor of any restaurant he's in. That's right. His willingness

to engage is beyond comparison. I'm just fantastic in public. I just, I'm the everyday guy. I relate to people. You know, workers. I just relate to them.

Probably likes getting to know people. I do. I love it. Learning about different people and cultures. I'm telling you, man. And it pays off because, I mean, the guy was cutting me

Everybody else got a little sliver how to use your tongs. Bobby was so impressive in this place to him that several times they slid the entire steak off the skewer thing to give it to him. And I mean that. More than once that happened. Yeah, he was just like, yeah, just take it. I was like, hey, thanks, pal. Multiple things I asked for, multiple things.

Butter, a couple things that I ordered, bread, a couple different things. They just didn't bring. Nope. Refill on the potatoes. They didn't do that right when I asked. Very sweetly, by the way, I asked. Bobby would get the same person over, and at this point, he doesn't even have to be sweet anymore.

He'd give you like a kid, come here. He goes, the guy over here, he's waiting for the potatoes. Can we get that stuff? And also, can you bring, he also ordered the thing. Can we get that? And I mean, like, it comes immediately. What was happening to me at one point, I don't know what their problem was with me,

but the guy came over and every time he came with something I didn't want you want chicken thigh? No do you guys have the the parmesan crusted pork? He goes, oh yeah, we have that because we have that. He goes, you want that? I went, yeah. And then he'd leave and he would come back like a minute later

with like garlic steak. Yeah. And I'd go, I didn't say anything but I was just like, why did he keep going? And then I go do you guys have the sausages today? He's like, oh, you want sausages? Yeah, yeah. Hang on. And then you'd come back with like skirt steak and I'm like, are you mad at me? And then Bobby would go, can the kid get some sausage in the parmesan? And they brought

it. It's immediate. Yeah. They brought it out. Yeah. They changed their pork at Fogo de Chow by the way. Yeah. They give you some kind of weird like fatty rind of the pork now. It used to be like a thick, like dense piece of like lean meat with the parmesan on it. Well, the thing is, Jay, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, I, I, I, I, I keep my volume up. wherever I go it's where it's up you go you come in here you'll wamp right up to 10

you go on a podcast bang you go on stage it's up as soon as you come off whoop you turn it off yeah your vibe stinks in public I'm not not funny still I just I'm funny to you I just want to like I want to go like

hey look at the world let's laugh at the world together and Bobby's like buddy I'm out here in the world making stories. Yeah. And I go, oh, all right, well, don't involve me. And then Bobby goes, Jay over here wants to blah, blah, blah. I don't want to, though.

This is how Bobby, we've had this relationship in a strange way. Even if we weren't, like, as close and our, such our comedy ages were so different, and I would go on the road opening for you a bunch. And, I mean, Bobby got me. He used to, he knew how broke I was. He took a nice advantage of the fact that I was a young father who was broke because Bobby was making enough money, especially with the colleges at that time, he can entertain himself

with making me do hilarious fat things. So we'd walk around a mall and he'd be like, try on these pants. And he was going to see me in like country western dungarees. And then we went to a mall and he goes, I'll give you 20 bucks to go get on the mechanical bull. I almost fell getting on it. I hurt myself when I fell off of it. It hit me in the face.

It swung on him and the guy. I think he gave, and then he told me he gave the guy extra money to zing me off of it really quick. And then I would go home. And then he put his comrag on my door. Yeah. Bobby bullied me a little bit. I did.

At one point, he showed me, I think that same trip is when you showed me the magic of laptop. You're like, look at this, dude. Pornography right here in my thing. Now get the fuck out of here and go watch girls going wild infomercials. Yeah. I did that to Keith, too. Keith had no idea.

I still think he doesn't. But I was in a hotel room in, I think Miami. I was online talking to a chick in Hawaii. And Keith was in the room. He's like, who, who you? What? I'm like, she's in Hawaii talking dirty to me right now in this chat room. He's like, what do you mean? What's a?

Who, how do you know she's in Hawaii? I go, because she told me she's from Hawaii. All these people are from different places of the world. Everybody's somewhere else. I go, he's like, how do you, but how do they communicate? Oh, no. This is how Terminator starts. Yeah, no. And he just sat there for an hour watching me talk to this. The machines are coming.

By the way, the machines are coming, man. I mean, watching those robot things like do spin kicks. And it didn't even look like it was that hard because it's pure metal. It hurt the shit out of that fucking kid with that spin kick. Yeah. I mean, China's not fucking around, dude. America's Got Talent, had a guy come out, and he does a whole dance routine with them. and they do the routine but they also

like they act individually when they were done like when they're done and waiting to get judged some of them were like putting hands on hips and some of them were like just like kind of like

like you know like acting like they were breathing heavier just turning their heads different ways it was like four whatever individual people it's all program though that's all program

that's a guy program that it's learning no dude it will someday once AI do the AGT one once you once you

once once like the robot you can buy now for 20 grand for the first couple years somebody has to program it but once it learns the process of your house and the steps then they'll just be by themselves Simon Cowell is the catalyst

by putting these things through they're going to get a Vegas residency and that's where it starts dude from the Luxor out doesn't the Luxor look like Terminator headquarters it's a pyramid with a light on top of it uh China's making it like

Mech Warriors, dude. You know, they're like in, in, what was that fucking movie with the blue people? Avatar. You know, in Avatar, those things that they're using to fight? China's making those right now.

I was hoping. I was hoping. What's China up to? Just making hot, soft, pussy-haired chicks? Oh, no? Terminators? Yeah. Fantastic.

Look at this. Just turn it up. You don't have to, like, start the whole thing. What is this? America's Got Talent? Yeah. This is a Chinese guy on stage with, what is it, 10 robots? Eight robots.

The routine, if I got to be honest, sucks because he's trying to show off that he dances with them. But no one gives a shit about that. No one fucking cares about his dumb dancing. We care about, where are these fucking robots from? Wow. They just did jump flips. Just did a flip. Yeah.

They all jumped like, they just did flips like superheroes from Dead Stop and landed. Bugs me they can dance better than me. No, don't say that, dude. You could nail this. We could learn this dance together. I wouldn't be able to do the flip thing. What? We can't do the jump flip.

Bobby. What? Me and you both could do a jump flip if we believed we could. The problem is we'll bail last second and we'll clunk our heads. But if we just go, I can do this, you do it. I don't think so. I don't know, but I'm willing to try if you're willing to try this summer. Absolutely.

Here's where we start. Trampoline. trampoline just to show yourself you can do the motions here's a problem with these after it after the thing i just want to show them where they're just kind of like chilling good now yeah they all just kind of come hang out differently and like yeah that's all program though that's not like a personality oh yeah you're right it's not impressive at all i'd never change i take it back this isn't even sort of scary isn't the program like AI that becomes better as

Yeah, I'm starting to think it's like... You mean AI learns from AI of itself? But isn't the AI? Eventually. Yeah, but the AI, the program is like, show gratitude. Do you know what I'm saying? It learns that shit now. No, but these are all programmed to do certain things.

Like, they're all, like, pre-programmed to do these movements at the end. I don't know if that's true. It's true because you can't... Let's see. Oh, really? Because they ask him to do this. What do you mean? Go back.

Go back. They ask if one of them can do something. Yeah, he says Kung Fu. and it does it. That's insane. Why are you saying it? Like, that's not quick. He goes, yeah, he said kung fu,

and then the robot did kung fu. He goes, it's simple. Yeah, but it's like saying Siri do this, and it does it. It just doesn't do kung fu. And here's the thing, Jay. The battery on that thing is, what, 38 minutes?

I don't know. It's the batteries, the problem with all this shit is that they haven't figured out batteries yet. They're kind of self-charge from the sun. We're going to be their batteries. Don't you watch a combination of fucking post-apocalyptic films? They're going to march into our homes and rip us out of them.

We're plugged into the Matrix, in the Matrix, Terminator's happening. Do you know how many solar panels you need on something to charge it? You ever see somebody's roof? They're going to figure it out better than we have. Buddy, we're going to figure it out. China's already figured out dancing robots, dude. They're like, here, learn all the knowledge of mankind. They just knows it?

They literally have a device that... Give me your leotards now. They can shut down. all this stuff with a shot of a wave. I heard they try to shut it down and they wouldn't shut down. Where from who? Who'd you hear that from? Come with me.

Come with me. Exactly. Come with me if you want to dance. First of all, you know I take that for real zes. But no. They could shut all this shit down with two seconds. I'm going to find it. They couldn't shut it down, Bobby.

They could shut it down. I'm telling you. Have you seen Bob Fosse? I mean, I'm not, I'm not disagreeing. I'm not disagreeing. We are headed in a bad direction with AI and robots. Once you combine those two and it can just learn and become better than us. I mean...

What do you think we got like seven years? The computer that actually, I think it was called Deep Blue or something that played Kasparov. Kasparov won the first time. Now the computer that plays against the Masters, a man will never, ever beat this computer again in chess. because it just keeps getting better. It's so much better than man's brain now that a man will never beat it. So it is evolving vast.

But, I mean, we're going to fuck these things before they kill us. At least that. At least we get to fuck them. At least we get to fuck them. We get to come with him and be like, dude, I come than your fucking aunt. It's robot-pounding. I'll be back and I'll be fabulous. Man, I could do Dancing Terminator all day long.

It may be my new favorite character ever. Ball heel kick. Ball heel kick. Damn it, I'm so fat. Would you, I mean, it's going to be, before they attack us, you're going to be able to get a robot to live in your house and do shit. Would you do that? No.

You wouldn't get a robot in your house? No. To do dishes and laundry. I've already got one, Christine. I got one there. Hey, you really fed me that one. Yeah, but this one, this one. one's not going to talk back.

This one doesn't either. Yeah, I just skips to myself, do the laundry. Yeah, but it's never going to go like this. What do you want for dinner? I don't care. What about this? No. What about that?

No. She does the laundry make sure the fucking the people show up, clean the pool and stuff. Yeah, we really do have two robots to live with us. I was going to, I started calling a Roomba, but she was like, it's not cool. And I'm like, you're right, it's not cool.

In Roomba, I go, can you also make beep noises when you come into a room I'm in? Beep. I'm mapping. Do you use the robot I bought you? I took it out of the box. You wouldn't be mad when you came over that it was still in the box. You fucking.

We set it up so you didn't think we didn't. You fucking finagled me. And then you said that you were going to set it up for us and then you didn't. So we were waiting for you. Oh, that's right. It's fucking your fault. It's by fault. You said you're going to help and you didn't know.

So when I come over next time, Christine. Damn, I completely forgot. You can be here right now. Push a button and it will clean the whole. whole top floor. I would love that. You just push a button and it cleans everything. I find it overwhelming. And it mops. It mops

and then vacuums. Oh, vacuums and then mops. Probably won't though. It does. I've used it. I've used it. I love mine. It's fantastic. It does the whole top floor. What if it falls in love with my dog? It can't. It's programmed not to. What if it makes a plan with the dog to kill me and Christine?

Right. Your dog's never going to allow that. And I'll be honest with you. The old pool vacuum they could probably get that on board do you have a robot pull vacuum that thing's pissed off we really that thing get eaten up by animals so that thing's probably pissed the only problem with the dog is if the dog shits on the floor and then the vacuum comes out it spreads it like

peanut butter I heard yeah it makes a nice layer of shit all over it just it just spreads it and keeps spreading it like being a butter yeah this is no this is you're you're reading this from live science.com okay it's not real okay hang on a sec

it was told to shut down and it didn't but what I'm saying is the battery on it is going to die. You're going to take it when it's powering itself from the sun. After it takes over MIT. Yeah.

It's not going to take over anything. Once the batteries are amazing in these things and they can charge from the sun in like 20 seconds, then we'll be killed. Then we'll die. 20 years.

I think in 20 years, the amount of shit that we're going to have is going to rise up against us. We're going to be too old. I mean, dude, they're going to have flying cars. I would hate to be killed by my ramtrials. Imagine going up... My ram truck gets angry at me.

Or it turns into a robot and fights another robot and loses and I'm inside of it. That's Transformers. Yeah. Oh, is that a thing already? Cops have a device now that can just shut your car off.

Really? Yeah. They can shut your car off. Because your whole thing is electronics. Oh, a new car. A car in the last thing. Yeah, not an old car, but a new car, they can just go boom and your car just shuts down. But will it shut down other cars, too?

I don't know that. You got aim right? Because that seems you got to aim that right. That's what sucks and shutting out of a bunch of people and say, hey! Are we going through windshield? You're trying to get one car. Send the beam. Yeah, we're definitely fucked, but I'm looking forward to it.

We're going to have a lot of fun before. Like, Max is fucked. We're not really fucked. Max is fucked. His kids are fucked. Well, no, that's not true. You're trading them to fight Terminators. Yeah, well, the Terminators are going to fight Terminators.

How have you seen Maximus Kelly? Maximus. I need a partner for my swing dance. I really did name him right for the apocalypse. Maximus Kelly. We must have Maximus Kelly. He's trying to make dancing illegal like John Lithgow in that movie.

Well, they have the funny... Damn, man, none of us do good voices. I'm doing my best, though. You are sort of getting it's Terminator, but he's super in the dancing, right? Close enough. I'm sending the message, right? Like, it's Terminator, but he's super in the dance.

Not everybody. When you get it right, it's kind of annoying. You know what I mean? One, two, three. Plié. You got to get a little deeper. One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. Where are my toe shoes? Scratch, going, like, ha, like that. One, two, three. Plea. Plea. Plea. Plea.

There you go. To shoes. There you go. You got it, dude. Tutu's. Dude, they have, right now, I heard that the drones that Iran

is using against us to blow our shit up is like $40 drones Nice And they're winning They got like thousands of them In Cuba right now Just off the coast of Miami

Just thousands of drones They could just launch over And fucking kill a bunch of people That's what's gonna happen Yeah In Cuba Yeah they're not expensive drones Like we have like

One of our planes Is what fucking You know 80 billion dollars Whatever it is It's just crazy But they're just going to use fucking DGI drones with bombs on. That's what they're using the incrate.

Russia's using them. It's good technology, though. Flying them over and... Camera's on a good gimbal. It really is. So wait, they're on the edge of Cuba to come kill us here. Well, they're saying that they have a 40,000 drones in Cuba right now that could fly over. I thought we have a deal with Iran.

We don't. It's gone. I thought we like Cuba, too. We don't. It's not happening. They want to take... I think Trump wants to take all the communist places. He wants regime change in Cuba

He wants one in Iran He just plays risk He just plays a board game risk I would love it if Cuba was I mean was Part of the U.S? Well that we could not part of the U.S. But that we could go there and hang out

It's beautiful. I know I wish they would just get regular HBO on Netflix They have nothing, dude I know dude You know what In practice The idea of the rest of the world being America in every way except visually

and food would be perfect if I can go there and it was like okay I'm going to go to England but it's like I'm going to stay at this hotel for sure that I know is the place oh you know what I don't feel like going to a fancy restaurant

there's cheesecake factory right over there do you know I mean? Yeah comfort I need that kind of comfort and then also like oh my God that was really great shake shack now it's going to gondola

Let's go see the Vatican in Coliseum. Now that just had a sick-ass cheese steak and some cheese fries. All those people that came to America for the World Cup are flipping out how awesome America is. Of course. The amount of food, all the shit we have. Air conditioning. Yeah, they're loving fucking America. And then you've got to go back to their little city that's made a stone.

Black people with face tattoos. They never have that in their countries. Chris Fagan said it was a sci-op and ruined it for me. I'm like, I bet it is. Everything is a fucking sci-op. Jesus Christ. They just fucked me because they said... You got sci-opt?

You need eight hours of sleep, right? And now this new thing on the internet is... The whole eight hours of sleep was from the mattress company back in the day because they wanted to sell more mattresses and they wanted you to sleep more. So they did this whole thing. And now, in reality, it was all a sci-op or some bullshit. Nice, and you only need... If you wake up at three in the morning, most...

Like Mozart made most of his music at three. He would wake up in the middle of night and do his stuff. Most artists will wake up at three in the morning and stay up for two hours. That's the most creative time and then go back to bed and, you know, for a couple hours. You don't need to sleep eight hours straight. So that's in my fucking head. So last night I was up. I woke up at three in the morning and I was like, oh, this is creative hour.

And I just went and ate a old fucking protein brownie and just sat there and did nothing. I had no creative flow at all. That's creative. Yeah. The idea of that, though. Yeah, well, yeah, it's great. You probably make that a meme. Then I googled, I actually chat GPT all this bullshit.

It's all bullshit. The mattress company didn't say that. It's all garbage. You're supposed to get eight good hours of sleep. You're supposed to get as much sleep as you possibly could. Doctors have said it. I don't believe it was mattress companies that I took their word on that for. I always believe that it's had to do with REM cycles and deepness of sleep and all that kind of stuff.

Well, the more cycles of sleep you can go through, the better for your body to recover, supposedly, is what it is. Yeah, dude. But you don't need to go through that. You thought a fucking big mattress was fucking coming for you. I really did. Here we go again, dude. Connect the dots.

Follow the money. I was like, this is great. I stay. I wake up at three and the money. It's not a crazy thing. Follow that money. So we went to the theater. I met you at the theater.

We got in to the, what was it called? What kind of theater is he in? Cinemark. Cinemark theater that has seats. They had the box seats. Do they call them different things, different places, 4D, whatever, but they're D box. Maybe there's better ones.

It's kind of like what I think the sphere I was told has. They move. Yeah. They move left, right, front, like forward and back. They were, you know, and they shake. They jolt you around. They go with the movie. Yeah.

If someone's driving on a winding road, like, you'll go on the turns. They'll, like, turn you that direction. Like, you know, like, tilt you that direction, so you feel like you're doing it. It's just, I feel, I feel like for a horror movie, it's unfair. It was awesome.

It's unfair for a horror movie. The horror movie itself is terrifying. To add the seat to lull you where it needs to lull... And then... To incorporate that seat into the scare was an unfair advantage. I did not like the seat. I did not like the fucking seat. What?

By the way, I cranked it up to 10 and ripped the knob off on his D-box. He really did. I go, what's this button for? And he just leaned over and he just leaned over and a da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. He just crank it. He goes, you've got to have it to the top.

You got to crank it all the way. You've got to feel it. So yeah, like you're sitting in the car and all of a sudden the seat is just moving right and left with the car. It's so you feel it. The forward I didn't see coming. That'll push it forward a little bit.

The forward was when before a jump scare, it would kind of relax you. Well, if the screen was like moving in, It would like move in like you're leaning forward. It was neat. It was not, I didn't think it was neat at all. I thought it was terrifying the fact that the seat jolted at the jump skater. The craziest parts of that movie, the seat would go ballistic and fuck me up.

And fuck me up. It was a very, very fun movie. I don't know if it was fun at all. It was, there was a few other people in the theater, very few. We were the one sitting in the D-Box seats, which I assume they called the D-Bag seats. But Bobby was, I mean, he did it all. Everything he wanted to do.

Through popcorn, jumped up, threatened to leave. Got up, walked somewhere, and I thought he was leaving, and just, like, about-faced and came back. It was... That part with the... When the grandma was... This is what I hate about demon movies.

They always have... the on the ceiling which I fucking hate old demons. Old lady demons on the ceiling. What's the original one that got you? We all know it. The one from Exorcist 3. Exorcist 3

but also the real bad one that I didn't like was the one with fuck what was his name? John C. Riley. No, they were in a diner. They were in a diner out in the west Brad Pitt.

And the lady was talking to an old lady and she was so pleasant and nice and then she just turned into a fucking demon. That's it, Legion. That's it, Legion. Fuck. This old lady is, it's the worst. It's the worst demon. I kind of remember this, yeah.

She's so, look at her. Yeah. Oh. Oh, fuck. Oh, she just bites the guy's neck. It's too much CGI. She turns into the demon and then she flips it.

Oh. And he throws a fucking pan at her head. A nice skillet. Oh, my God. That was rock from TV's rock. Yeah. Charles S. Dutton. And then she goes, she jumps on the ceiling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate that. No, Bobby, it's too. I don't like that. Bobby, it's so. I don't like it. It's so CGI.I. It's a little silly.

It's fucked up. Show them. Exorcist 30. I don't like when they can crawl on the ceiling. Here's the problem, because they walk into a room, and they're always like, where'd it go? And I'm like, it's on the fucking ceiling, man. Yeah, but here's something that you just never were told,

as were black people. They can't hear you in the screen. They're not going to look up because that doesn't move the story forward. It's entertainment, you see. I know, but I have to say it. I've said it a million times. Rambo could have just taken that ride to the edge of town.

that police officer and went about his day. Nope. Nope. He had to make it a whole fucking thing. Yeah, that's way creepier. This is the Exorcist 3, which is way scary than two. Two sucked. Too sucked.

But she's on the ceiling. This fucked me up because I was watching this by myself at night, thinking it was going to suck like two. And when this old lady walked across the ceiling and the, oh, fuck off. It's right there when she turns her head around. He has no idea he's a bum. Oh, fuck it. The devil.

Fuck the devil, man. Easy. What? He'll hear you. I know. Fuck the devil. Jesus Christ compels you. Jesus Christ compels you.

Jesus Christ compels you. I'm safe. Bobby, stop. Jesus. It's the power of Christ compels you. I'm sorry. Yeah. Really?

Do you think... Jesus Sanchez compels you. Jesus Sanchez compels you. The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you. There. Power credits you. Two after-credit scenes.

A during credits and then a way after credits. After the whole thing. Although the credits were pretty short. That's the brutal nature of the after-credit scene in a Marvel movie. Like, you're a piece of shit to go through. It's like, once you think you're through all of it, and then they go, now, here's all those same people that were in the Japan team. And then it just starts like all-Japanese.

You're like, come on, no way. Oh, and then we have to go to New Zealand. Zealand. Yeah. Then a lot of thank yous for a Marvel. A lot of thank yous. Yeah, a bunch of people that died making this fucking thing. There's a lot of people that died.

And then the music. Oh, God. Then locations. Yeah. Then thank yous to all the production companies. And then the after credit. Thor. By the way, when an after credit scene is just that, it's just like they show like a light

turn off in a room or something. And it's just simply like maybe they're alive. Like, go. You got to do a scene, man. Something has to happen real, or real tease for the next one. Well, the first one wasn't that good on this one. The last one was pretty good. The last one was actually probably moves the story along.

What was that one? That was the grandma driving down the road and then someone picks him up. I know, but that, I saw that. I kept saying that the whole movie. Where's the grandma? Where's the grandma? No, everybody forgot about it. He did say that a lot.

I kept going, where's the grandma? Look out for the grandma. By the time there were, by the time. that after scene came Bobby threw caution to the wind and was like, well, we're all known we're almost out of here. And then when the scene started,

it was just a picture of a road. And Bobby went, the grandma, the grandma. Yeah, he's the grandma. He let everybody know. I let her know. He's the fucking grandma because she hasn't been seen

for 20 minutes at the end of the movie. You don't just let a demon go. You don't just, even though you cut both her legs off, spoil alert, you don't just... One was already missing.

Yeah, but you don't just run out. You know what I mean? You don't just, you got to, hey, guys, cops, there's a grandma with no legs is a demon, too. You might want to find her. Oh, I don't think the cops are buying demon stories at all. Well, there's a grandma that's fucking crazy with no legs somewhere. Find her. It would be great if they, as the cops would have found the grandma who was, I mean, right in plain sight,

crawling down a street during the day. But no one seems. The situation stay pretty isolated, it seems. I didn't like that they had a lot of daytime demons. stuff. I don't like it. No, they're around in the daytime, too. I know, but I like a nighttime demon. I like the original evil dead,

one, two. It's all kind of at night. That's when I love. You could kind of go out in the day and feel a little safety. And then when the sun went down, and it might go down quicker. The day might go faster because the demons can actually make the day go, the sun

come right up and down, which is their choice. But I don't like when it's a regular day. If I was driving, at the end and I saw some lady with no legs crawling, I'm not stopping. I'm not stopping. And if I am stopping, I'm stopping far away. And if I see her eyes all fucked up, I'm not. Yeah, the eyes in the face are going to do. Once you, you're not asking any more questions when you see a demon face.

No, I see a demon. I'm out. I don't know. Maybe I try to run it over. If it's a demon? Yeah. Fuck yeah. You run it over. But here's the thing. You could just leave it and assume that it's going to get the next person. If you engage in running it over, it might transfer. to you. I'm not stopping for anybody crawling down the road with no legs, by the way. Ever. Ever. Well, you'd be a bad

platoon mate. No. I mean, look, if I'm in two scenarios, dude, if I'm out on vacation driving to a gig and I see some old lady crawling on the road with no legs, I'm not stopping. I will stop at the next place and call the police and say, hey, I just drove by an old lady crawling up the road. She has no legs. You'd stop if it was a black child? I would not stop if it was an infant crawling.

Wow. No. Says the hero. I'm not. Where'd our hero go? Buddy, I'm the hero. The hero's in the car saving everybody else in the car from becoming a fucking demon.

I feel like you're only a hero. You're an aquatic hero. Your heroics only take place offshore. And here's another thing that I didn't like about this movie is that. You didn't enjoy it? No, I, listen, it scared the fuck out of me. It has a lot of great, scary.

Really good gore. Good gore. Hey, go, I mean, Jesus Christ. I'm not a fan of go for it. But the gore was good. But it's very over the top. It's like so silly. It's over the top.

But I didn't understand because, number one, you didn't have to be killed to have the thing come into you, right? They seem to have changed the lore a bit. They changed the lore on evil dead to where I liked when the thing was coming through the woods. They had this, that was the initial. They had one, but I thought they had to do that with all of the people that became demons. There was so heavy inconsistency, it seemed, from past Evil Dead in the contagiousness of being one of these things. They had one where you can, spoil alert, you can actually kiss the demon and get the demon. And then you could fight the demon, which Evil Dead never had.

Once the demons in you, there's no fighting it. You're the demon and you're dead. It's your accent, right? You don't think there's a D at the end of Demon. Demon. Nice. Demon. I have no issue with you saying demon.

I love it. Yeah. I just didn't know if you were for sure. There's no D on the end. It's my Boston accent. I say a couple things. A little weird. There's no, uh, yeah.

I dear. There's no U.H. And yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday. Yeah.

I say, yeah, exactly. Something earlier on a show I heard myself at the end. I did a little trail off on it that I probably always do. But like the fact that you could, I didn't like that you could kiss somebody and give them the demon. That's stupid. Who's kissing a fucking demon, dude? Well, if you're emotionally attached to the person that was a demon before... If Don became a fucking demon, I would fucking lop.

Not even a second. Even she'd say, Bobby, I love you. Her head would come off. Bobby, you're looking for any excuse. I would kill Max. If Dawn came home with a unibrow, I would lop her head off. There's nobody I love that. I love Max.

I love Dawn. most out of any. Any of them become a demon, you're dead. You're gone because once you're a demon you don't get undemened. You're not going to try a little witchcraft? No, I'm not... You're dead. You won't put him in a basement for a little bit

and try to figure out an incantation or some sort? You want me to fucking roll the dice? I mean, you should at least try it. Well, I mean, at least enjoy the mystery for a couple days trying to figure out where the book of the dead is. You can read the spell? If I had a basement like that that you could lock with a padlock, yeah, but I have Casa de Max, there's no door.

The demon's going to have to be in Costa Max for a couple days. While you sort things out, Max is going to have to go up and he's going to have to sleep on the couch for a couple days. You're not going to, there's no door. He can just come up. You can put him in the bedroom. Lock him in his bedroom? You don't have a dog gate for, for Doodles? No dog gate.

No dog. Doodles is dead too, by the way. Doodles becomes a demon like this dog and this moot? First of all, I didn't like that the dog became a demon. Yeah, the way they got to that was fucking wild. That was the craziest where people I think you were saying that he went too far in the movie That was one that was a wild scene Yeah to explain it so people know

Yeah Spoiler alert everybody Yeah He uh One of one of the characters is slowly turning Which is another thing too It was like a slow turn into one of the deadites The original one

You just become it It gets in you and you become it The first guy just became it Right? The second guy just became it Right Yeah The third guy, the father, yeah, was fight, you could fight it off. He was fighting it for a little bit.

I didn't like that. But then you die, I think the character dies, and then you kind of like, it's like vampire stuff. It's like then you die and you come right back. You're a vampire. But anyway, the father. They wouldn't let him in the house. Like he couldn't get in the fucking house? The father where they were sitting at the dinner table and he was just getting weird,

weird and weirer. And then he just grabs the family dog by like a, in like a, a headlock and then it takes a fork and just stabs it to death to death in the face with a fork and then they uh but it was all on a big thing double spoiler alert it's because the dog's coming back is evil dog but here's a thing they took time to bury the dog who do you know how it's insane you do know you're dealing with demons now and the fact that they had a scene like you two go deal with the demon corpses we're going to go bury the dog that was crazy yeah that was crazy Here's the thing.

If I'm with somebody and the father stabs a dog at the dinner table, I'm out. You're definitely not going to stay to like, this is a family thing, clearly. Yeah. And I'm not really, I'm not built for this. I go, hey, I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick. I'm gone. At that point, you had 20 minutes of time to decide, like, to get out of there before it starts getting over-demony. They went very- Taking the father anywhere.

The daylight came up and they buried the dog, had some ceremony. Fuck off, I'm not going to that. I'm in the car gone. And then they would take the kid. You wouldn't say something for Doodles? No, Doodles is not Doodles. No, I don't say shit to doodles. No, Doodles isn't Doodles anymore.

Dodles is playing fucking fetch with Jimmy Hendricks and Kirk Cobain. I don't say anything. I don't know. I killed them all, dude. I kill them all and then I move somewhere. I go somewhere when nobody knows I am. And you can blame me for the. deaths. I don't care. I'm gone.

You're going to be a pariah. People are going to be upset with you. They'll be upset with me with it. That's fine. They don't understand the real story. How are you going to prove that your family turned into deadites? I'm not. I'm not. You're not going to try to prove it. I'm going to go become an Eskimo at the top of the world. That's a racist term. I'm going to go become a Native American Eskimo. No, no.

I'm what? I don't know. Inuits? Yeah, I'm going to go become an Inuit. I'm going to go in the middle of nowhere. If you become one, I think you could say it. But if I was at your house and you became a demon. And I don't know if you know this.

The reason why the demon thing fucks me, I might have told you this before. When the exorcist came out, my mom and her husband, Billy, the bad guy, went and saw the exorcist. They put me and my sister in Smoky and the Bandit. Smoky and the Bandit was a shorter movie. So we got out early. I snuck into the Exorcist with my sister who loved horror, loved all that stupid. shit, hung out with a bunch of fucking weird, gay

lesbian people and went to a Rocky Horror picture show. I was not. I was a good Catholic boy that believed in Jesus. I was an altar boy. I believed in all this shit. So then I was terrified, fucked up. And then, for

the next, I would say, two years, every time I came home to the apartment we lived in, there was a back staircase, almost like a mini-exorcist staircase. that I would have to come up. And she would sit at the top. And as I would come up,

she would swing around and roll her eyes back so they were white and go, The Satan's here and we'll get you, Bobby. And I would run out of the house. And not once or twice, maybe 45 minutes to an hour and a half. She would do this.

And then come back out, I'm sorry. Come in, I'm kidding. And I'd be like, stop, seriously. And then I'd come back in and I'd walk up three or four stairs. Lisa? Lisa It's okay

You're fine Lisa Don't And then she'd swing around Satan is here now Satan is going And I'd run out of the fucking house

Your fault Why my fault My fault I'm the victim Yeah but I mean You should have just realized Buddy How old were you?

I was in second grade That's so little Now what Now what Now what Now what Did you do anything Your sister

Have you hurt her this? Have I hurt her? Yeah. No, my sister hurt me most of my life. Why don't you hurt her now? Well, I mean, I think God did. He gave her bad kidneys. Is that true? Yeah, she had she just

three years ago, had her second kidney. Man, dude, I would love if you denied her. That'd be your, if she goes, Bobby, I'm going to need one of your kidneys, you're going to go, oh, I wish I could sis, but turns out they need them in the underworld. and then just

fucking crawl away on the ceiling, dude. Sorry, sis. Gonna have to find your kidney somewhere else. These kidneys are saved for Satan. I need these for Macs so he can fight the machines. You know about that? My sister, nobody in the family could give her a kidney. We're all different wrong blood types.

What? We all had to go with. My mother called me and said your sister has kidney disease. She needs a kidney or she's going to do. die. And I was like, whatever she needs, I got her. And then my mother was like, well, you have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday to see if you, to see if you get your kidney. I was like, I, I can give her rides, like to dialysis. I can't. Sure. Like, I'm, I'm just

starting a comedy career. Like, I'm doing good. You'll probably get some writing done while she's in dialysis. Well, nobody, I had to go in. And when I came out, I literally went, yeah. They gave me my, they were like, you're not a match. I was like, fucking yes. And my mom was like, Did you ask first what you needed to be? Did you win there? Like, please don't be O positive? I didn't ask. I just said in my match and they were like, no.

And I went, yes. And my mother said, you can do it? I go, no, no, no, no. It's the other excitement. You can do it? Oh, Christ, thank God no. Well, she actually got the neighbor Neil. We have a neighbor next to my mom, Neil.

He's like a single guy. Sounds like it. Ugh. Right? That was named my character on Z-Rock. Yeah, exactly. Neil. He looks like a Neil.

And I never liked the guy. I never really liked him. Like, we don't get along. He's very fucking, he, he doesn't have a wife. He never had kids. He was always really, he had a basketball hoop. It's just weird shit to me. And my mother, you know, my mother was always friendly.

And Neil's, you know, feel, you know, Neil lives alone. You know, be nice to Neil. I'm like, I don't have to be nice. I don't, there's something up. And Neil is like, I'll do it. And Neil gave my sister the kidney. And my sister didn't want to take it. My sister was like, I don't want his fucking kidney.

And she was like, well, you're going to die. You need a kidney. I don't want his kidney. That's crazy. She didn't want Neil's kidney. I was like, Lisa, I agree with you. That's weird. I don't want to take Neil.

Because now you're kind of... But anytime, if I had someone else's that was around body part inside of me, I would never stop. thinking about like I even said before if I had to go get like immediate open heart surgery and they're like where they put a stint in or something like that you know when things like that happen I go I would never in my mind like I think I would feel it I would make myself convinced I feel it I go that weird little is it and then someone would go dude it's like microscopic I go now now I feel a tube

inside my heart for some reason my uncle had liver disease and my other uncle gave him a piece of his liver your liver will grow back a liver will grow back. So he gave him a piece of his liver to give him a new liver. But my uncle Sean always has one over on him. You know what I mean? It's always like, dude, shut the fuck. I gave you a life, motherfucker. I gave you a liver. So your wife should suck my dick. You really want a liver from somebody you're never going to see again. Yeah. So I remember. Yeah. Give me someone like anal. You don't want to see the person again. I can't believe that you've just done. I had a joke on my act about it because I think like even in the hospital bed like Neil was in the next bed and she was like

forgive like fuck him and I was laughing and then they became friends which bugged me because him and my sister started going out going to like lunch and and one day like six did he get signed over visitation rights to his kidney well they became hey I'd like to take my kidney out dude what if you saw her just drinking a ton he'd be like hey what the fuck are you doing you're killing my kidney well he uh he they actually i was like eight months a year later she was going to the movies with him and she's like going on the movies with neil do you want to come i'm like no i don't i don't want to hang out with neil and she was like you know you should be nicer to him he gave me a kidney he's really you know this is i don't understand what you're i go look i just i don't there's a vibe i we don't

vibe and uh she came back and she was pissed off i'm like what's wrong she's i i i i'm like what's wrong she's to make a pass at her at the theater. Yes. I guess he's liked her the whole time. Yeah. And she was... And that's what I said. I go, in one respect, I was mad like,

fucking Neil, that's my sister. But as a guy, I was like... How old's Neil? I go, you got to respect his long game. That's a grand gesture. I mean? How old's Neil? Neil was old. He was older. At the time, he was, I don't know,

in his 40s or 50s. How old was she? She had to be in her 20s or something like that. She was late 20s. She didn't get a kidney in her 20s? Yeah, she got sick early. man, she had kidney disease. She had to get another one a couple of,

because they only last 16 years. But that was my body shot. No, that was, they don't, the kidney, when you get a kidney transplant, it only lasts for 15, 17 years or something like that. You have to get a whole new one. So she actually got a brand new one. So she does.

Speaking of a kidney shot, I got to stop doing it again. I am, I mean, I'm a mush on another level. I don't even know if he knows I'm a mush. We all know you're a mush. Yeah, but you know, I was, you know, we became friends with Mickey Gall. some years ago.

I love Mickey. It's great. And Mickey's a great dude and as a first fighter that I was like had an investment in, uh, I'm worried about the ghost.

I'm worried about him on my end, knowing me because, or at least I shouldn't reach out to him before his fights because Mickey Gall, I would do that, go, you're going to fucking kill it tonight, man. And then I would just watch him get handled

over and over again. Yeah. And it would crush me. I'd get so sad. I'm like, oh, I like this guy. Terrence McKinney, uh,

has his parents, uh, come see me. me when I'm out in Spokane or Tacoma, one of the two Washington State ones. That's where he's from. And he's messaged me before, and back and forth,

and he's a sweet guy. And I saw that he was on the main card. And I was like, dude, kick ass tonight. When I watched the fight, it's one round. He is massacring King Green. He's massacred for the entire, four minutes and 57 seconds of the round.

He is handling him. I mean, he's blestering him. I mean, he's bloodied up his face, the other guy. Terrence McKinney looks fine, takes a shot to the fucking stomach and goes down one second left in the round. Fights over at 459 of the first round, Terrence McKinney loses. Come on.

One second, man. Come on, man. Damn it. You got to not talk to people. I got to not talk to people. Patty Pimbled was awesome. And then Connor McGregor, I mean, what do you do? He should even attempt to come back?

I was at my house by myself. I made steaks. I made a salad. I planned the whole night. And I was sitting there watching. Just, you know, just when you say you're by yourself, don't, you know, to tell people you made steaks. I made three.

I made three steaks. Bobby, what? We just went to a Brazilian steakhouse two days before. Oh, I know. You love beef. I know. It's like a baby belly. I do, I only little, I've been eating steak.

Listen to me. I've been eating steak. and protein shakes all weekend Shut up, Jacob knows, I told Jacob what happened to me anyways I've taken to the protein shake though by the way I drink a protein shake every day

Buddy, I don't even know if I should say this on air What happened? You came while you were shooting? No I did First of all I

I really truly don't like being alone in the house Really? No I don't know what it's like I don't know, dude. They left, they left, and was it Saturday. They left Saturday in the morning, and then, you know, as soon as they left, I went and made love to myself.

And then as soon as I was done, I just felt like, ugh, what now? And I was like, all right, well, I'll make... Anything. I know, I went, I did a lot of stuff around the house, I watered the flowers, I cleaned the garage, I did a lot of guy shit. Just take around video game. again a little bit. I didn't even think of that. I was like, I'm going to watch the fights. I'll watch the fights. Yeah, that's a great. That's a great thing to have, be up on your home by yourself. I had, Don left me three steaks. I had salad, and I made a nice salad, and then I went to Target,

and I got snacks, I got chips, I got healthy Doritos, if that's a thing. I went. You put out a spread for yourself? I put out a spread for myself. I went to Target by myself. It was very weird and uncomfortable because it's just women alone, middle-aged women alone, and women with kids. And then me. And just me.

I bought a full-length mirror. I don't know why. It was on sale. You can't put me in any store. I just buy. I bought a whole, I bought outfits. From Target. I bought a lot of outfits.

A lot of outfits. I bought three. Full outfits. I bought three outfits. Do I watch shorts sets? What are you? Jazy-Jet? Jeff.

I bought these nice pants. Nice. Yeah. You want nice pants? Well, nice for Target. What was that? 15 bucks? I believe it was 19 bucks on sale.

Dungarees or slacks? They were golf pants. Come on. I did. And I almost bought a hat. I'm glad I put that back. And then I bought some protein stuff. And then I went home.

with my full-length mirror. I don't know where I'm putting this. And I made a nice, I cooked the steaks, I had the fights on, I ate the steaks. Doing Coke off your giant mirror? Did you do it with a fashion show in front of your mirror? I did try on the outfits when I got home. I thought it was get back into Coke

while the family was gone. The pants didn't fit. If you buy yourself for two days, you just started doing coke again. I mean, that's the thing is there's nothing to do. There's no, there's no, you know, there's nothing. Jerk off in your house again. jerked off. It was done. I was over.

Do it again. I don't want to do it again. I don't know. It was just I didn't I was going to watch the fights. Fights is great. I was going to do the fight. I sat down. I cooked my steaks. I was eating the steaks. Patty Pimlet came on. Dude, I literally jumped on. I was like, what a fucking fight.

The way he came out, it was like the headlining card. I was so excited. He is such a fucking interesting fighter and he's so having so much fun. And the guy he fought was perfect. Just stoic Eastern European fucking

you know just villain choked him out in 58 seconds it was awesome it was great and then the Cona McGregor fights coming and I couldn't be more excited

I had my second snacks ready to go I had my drink ready to go and then that happened 50 seconds into the fight it was it was the most disappointing fight I've ever watched in my life.

Yeah. And Max, So boring. Max, I mean, that being boring is the wrong word. It's just like, what a nothing. It was nothing. It was like all this buildup and all this shit. And now people are saying he was injured before he went in.

I don't know. Maybe there's some truth to that, but then they're also showing plenty of evidence that he wasn't hurt at all. He's saying he wasn't hurt at all. But he's, but what you go, I think what it was crazy, I thought his face from the entire walkdown to getting into the cage,

to, but when they were announcing his name, when he went and did the stare down, like everything, he looked like he was just like nervous or drunk or so. I mean, he didn't look right at all. I feel like he knew something. And I always said it, when you, when you see these guys bring their families,

they're done. Sean Strickland said, though, if someone, if he knew he had a knee injury, he goes, you wouldn't, just no fighter would open with a wild kick, you'd protect the knee. You wouldn't just try to do something that could definitely injure it.

Or if you want to get out of it quick, I mean, are you going to... Yeah, but I don't know if you want to get it. Maybe he did because he said apparently, did Max Holloway say that? He said, he told him never... He's like, keep going. Yeah.

He said Max Holloway told him, he's like, just could go. It's like, fight. He's like, stuck because I think Max Holloway was doing like the dude. Something's wrong with him. Something wrong with him. It was something wrong with him out of the get-go. And it, it was anti-clamette.

And I didn't... Max Holloway just sucks on the mic, too. Yeah. He did that. I was so mad. He did that. I guess I made him weak in the knees. but he did the joke in the law he did it before he did it before and then he did it again press conference

he did it before i was i think it was in the i don't know so in the ring after the fight and then back yeah then he did it after again he did it again at the press it's like dude the joke well he wrote it to his joke yeah but that's because he did it in the ring and he he probably said it back stage oh yeah it made me it's just like in one of them st. wrote it. Give it to him two weeks ago. He bought that from Dan St. Germain. He literally did it.

Maybe I made him weak in the knees and he went, ha-ha. He laughed and nobody left. Nobody. It's just that except for Jacob. Jacob loves it. Jacob loves joint humor though. He loves joint humor.

I did not like, and then Sunday I was home all day by myself. I didn't like that. And then Sunday night by myself. I went to the cigar lounge. Nobody was there. Sounds awesome. I love my family. I love them around.

I love them around. The annoyance that they give me, Dad, Dad, B, B, Dad, Dad. When it's happening, I'm kind of like, fuck, I need a break. But not having, I felt like a divorced fucking husband. It kind of sucked. It just, I didn't like it. You got your ear pierced. I didn't.

Just thinking about taking a drive around, looking at some honeies in a convertible. Something happened today that was really. Really bad. What? It was really bad, man. And I called you and you fucking let me down as usual. Sorry. No, dude, it's fucking bad.

What? You're not good. Like, everybody who, if you have Jay as the emergency contact, take it off. Take it off. Yeah. Or change your number to when it comes up on Jay's phone and it says Mike Fanoia. That's the only way he's going to pick up the phone. No, if you ask Mike Fennoy, Mike Fonio, oh, we.

would be nodding right along with you on this one. It's fucking bad. Michael get to the point where he starts texting me and I told him, I was like, please don't do this. It makes me feel bad if I'm busy. Because he'll text after a while like, hey, it's, are we not friends anymore? Something like that. You're like, come on, man.

Don't say that. Yeah, but I don't, I deliberately don't call you all the time because I, I know, I call you when I need you or I need to talk to you. So you know that, oh, Bobby's calling. When you call, you don't call unless you have something to, say to me or you want to talk about something you talked for over an hour on the phone on Friday I needed you today and you said but you got your hour a week you said you said I'll call you I called you once and I called you right back again to let you know that's my I need you

if I call you once and you don't pick up I usually don't call back if it's nothing if I call you right back again that's I need you and you said what No idea. You said, I'll call you back in five minutes. Oh, I think that was going to be an after the bathroom and I just didn't. Yeah, I know you didn't. I know you didn't. It's pot-hit stuff, man.

Buddy, it's bad. What did you need me for? I'll tell you after the break. Oh, it was an emergency. It was an emergency. What's that black glue? You want me and Bobby to pull our wieners out so you can pound them and then shoot jizz them all over your head? Okay.

Yeah, let's do it. If that's your jam. Punch up that live. slash Robert Kelly is where you go for tickets to all of his shows. He's going to be in Port Smith, New Hampshire, July 25th, two shows one night. After that, Saratoga Springs, September 11th, and 12th, and then Brooklyn, New York on September 26th for tickets and all of his tour dates. One more time, punch up that live slash Robert Kelly.

Check him out of YouTube at Robert Kelly Comedy. And, of course, every Tuesday night, not this one, but normally every Tuesday night, at 7 p.m. to get lounge at the comedy. So you can see him live. And Big J. O'K.' is going to be in Winnipeg for the Great Outdoors Festival, July 19th, and the Funnybone in Richmond, Virginia, July 24th through the 25th. After that, he'll be in Long Island, Royal Oak, Michigan, Albany, Virginia Beach,

for tickets and tour dates. BigJ Comedy.com, YouTube.com slash at BigJ.Oxson. Don't forget to check out his podcast, one of the funest shows ever, Story Wars. Make sure you go there and fall in there if you don't. and of course the skanks which is one of the most popular podcasts in the world so make sure you check them out there

YKWD don't forget YKWD The original, the OG The OG podcast baby We'll be right back with What happened to me this morning When I needed you It's the bonfire