The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Grown Up Gamers (feat. Reggie Conquest)

Episode Date: May 26, 2022

Reggie Conquest joins The Bonfire and the guys try to convince him to get into video gaming again.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@ReggConquest www.ReggieConquest.com

Everybody make sure you check out Dan Soder on the road. He's going to be in Grand Rapids, Michigan, June 3rd and 4th. Then he's coming to the UK everybody, London at the Soho Theatre. That's June 13th through June 19th for tickets and all of Dan's tour dates. Visit dansoder.com. Key West, Florida. This weekend, Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. I love hand-jiving. Yep. I don't know if I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word.

I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word.

I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear for word. I'm gonna swear Soder. I love hand-jiving. Yep. I know who's the man for work. The musical. Yeah?

That's one of these DJ loose favorite movies. Really? I don't know how, I know this song. I know like most of the songs in that movie, I don't know why. You've never seen a movie? I've seen the movie, but I'm not even in the musicals, but that one I just know. know yep, you know it back. I mean I probably said all the musicals

That's the one I know the most I don't know musicals well, but Greece is probably a two I know every song Greece But I love on Greece come on and I'm like home Bunch of my black ass family What the fuck? I don't know, shit. You're just dumb. You're hand driving. Yeah, yeah. That's it.

Yeah. Well, you don't know something other black people know. You'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You shit on them. You don't know this? I don't know shit. Why people do that with black stuff? When you know something and other white people don't know,

you're like, fuck it, it's a weird. Well, Greece also the time where they would cast the black characters though, it's kind of like happy days. When they come in, it's the most happiest person in the world with like a year-to-year grin and he does something groovy like plays drums or so as sticks right on happy days yeah but he couldn't come in more he goes what do you got to do with me sticks for like it's such an over like an overdue of them being like hey black people are pretty cool right yeah like we got to double down welcome back to the bonfire

series xm faction talk one of three i'm danoder That's big jail person joining us. You can catch them on season two of that damn Michael Chase show premiering May 26 on HBO Max It's Reggie Conquest you fill enough via zone what up what up friend? Unceremony is exit for the sixers. Oh Talk about fucking sucked. I'm happy. I'm happy for you that Mb. Lost a Nicola Yokech. I was I was snubbed them. I'm a nuggets fan enough. You like they snubbed them. Oh, yeah, you from Denver. Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah, but he's right. They did snubbed I feel like they snubbed them, but I still thought it was funny that they'd go to a donkey farm to give them a trophy. Yeah, I did see that. Yeah, he can tell he's just he's like, I would like he's like this. He's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he can tell he's just he's like I would like he's like this is nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah But in beat like really wants it. Yeah, which makes me think you're gonna championship before we will

I don't know. I don't know if that looking good. I see if James Harden doesn't take that max deal I don't I don't think they give it to him. I'm on the Eagles now. I'm moving to the Eagles right now You know what trying to get my emotions over there. Are you like, are you like, are you like Jane? You love all Philly sports? You like dumb Keith and you like the Cowboys. I'm like dumb Keith. I've been trying to, I've been trying to change it. Like once, when, I saw I grew up a Cowboys fan, right? I grew up a Cowboys fan. Really? As a kid to like shit on my dad. Sure. Well, you're growing up in the 90s. The best team in the 90s. So I'm like, I'm like kids now who are going to stay fans. Yeah. Yeah.

It's my first question. I always tell her it's I didn't think that would be the team right now, but you're absolutely right. Yeah. Like that's the team that kids like run to their winning. They got stuff. So it's crazy. I'm a Niners Giants fan. Uh huh. Was a Warriors fan. And then this off my dad, I became a Nuggets fan. Oh, okay. Because I was like, fuck warriors and my dad was like what? Whenever someone's a guy's a fan of a team I always, it was a team that your father loved also or hated.

He was never in between. Yeah. It's very rarely the thing the joke of like, oh I like their uniforms that are helmets. It's usually something to get it somebody. It's personal. It's definitely for Chase. Chase, the 49ers is fuck you brothers who love.

It's all the brothers who are doing your giants. Yeah, so I grew up like no I'm a cobblestone just to piss off my dad my dad would play along like that I'm a so you know I must like do all that Which is also fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It's fun to cheer It's just standing there. Yeah, we're dad and his friends like get that get you kid on You're walking over with an emit Smith Jersey on Like I remember watching the game with my dad and his friends and cowboys winning and I'm the only I'm losing it

So my parents got divorced in 1989 right and my mom my dad fucked my mom over and then just left. That man came out. What's that? The original Batman came out as big year. It was big year. Yeah. Jack Nicholson played the Joker. It was a lot going on.

AIDS wasn't a real virus yet. Wasn't acknowledged by the White House. But the AIDS was still a gay disease. He was still a bad house virus. But so my dad, I'm a 49ers fan, but we were living in Denver. We had moved to Denver when I was five and my mom's whole family's from there.

So she loves the Broncos. And my mom was like, I'm gonna have a Super Bowl party and that year the Super Bowl was the 49ers and the Broncos. Oh shit. And I was, her five year old son's running around and red and gold and all of her friends are drunk and angry because the Broncos got blown out 55, yeah. And all of her friends are drunk and angry because the Broncos got blown out 55 to 10.

And you're the only happy one. And I'm like, yeah! And they're like, this fucking kid. And you really only know, like, I know growing up, I only know new Michael Irving, Troy Ackman, and like those guys, I was like, I don't know the linebackers and shit. I just do those guys.

So, then I grew up a cowboy fan But you know when the Eagles won the Super Bowl in 2017. I was like, oh, this isn't funny anymore Have you come around the Eagles now you just kind of root for the Eagles. I'm a neutral fan now Yeah, I'm just a football fan. My business my friends off. I asked you the day. Can I buy this Eagles? There's this Eagles. I saw this cool Eagles. Really no, they're like fuck no, here's a deal Here's a deal if you truly do love football I can buy you can buy any Jersey. Yeah outside of the NFC East okay, because you have history there So like you want to go buy like a you want to go by like an Arizona Cardinals throwback like fucking crazy like yeah

Roger's or somebody can't buy New York Giants Jersey. Oh, yeah, I would you's or someone you can't buy New York Giants jersey you can't buy you can't buy Commanders or whatever the hell their names are now see how I so I used to do it when I was when football jerseys were kind of a thing for style not just for your team like now I only have Eagles

jerseys at all for jerseys but like the when I was younger I like a warrike done because ones that didn't matter to me yeah I'm like Tampa's not I'm like Tampa's not right no but I would never in a million years, I like a warriktone because ones that didn't matter to me. Yeah, I'm like a fashion. I'm like, Tampa's not, I'm like, Tampa's not right. No, but I would never in a million years have gotten like a cowboy jersey or a giant jersey, but I absolutely have worn like several, I had a, I had a Reggie Bush. I'll get a war in the first one.

I'll get a war in the first came out on a, not Reggie Bush. I fucking had a, a saints. That was a really good. Oh, I had a brawler. I had a brawler. Larra Harrison, Jersey, when I was younger. I would, just because he was from Philly, I was like, oh, dude, it's cool.

He's the best for his even a league. I would get, I would absolutely go get a Warren Moon, Jersey if I was wearing jerseys from the Houston Oilers. Oh, yeah, yeah, you gotta go to school. Oh, I know that light baby blue, but I like it. I fucking hate baby blue. It's a horror color. I don't know why.

I like the, I like the one I saw. People get so stoked on that for the North Carolina clothes. I was younger. I'm like, yuck. Yeah, it's bad. I'm never, it was a fan of baby blue baby blue. Always one of them. But I did exactly what the rappers did.

I just adopted all the color. I had a starter jacket LA Kings. Don't even give a fuck about hockey. Barely know how it's played or what the rules are. That's what I've been trying to get into. But I rocked in LA Kings Jack, because like those colors rocked. Yeah. And I can't do a Kings Jack, because those colors rocked. And I can't do a Raiders is the other one I can't do.

Raiders, they beat the Eagles. They beat the Eagles. I was aware of that when it happened, but you're just like, well, not the team that fucking took. Yeah, but they're where Patriots either. Oakland, I mean Raiders colors are just elite black, silver, it's just. I hate the Raiders, and I'll tell you right now, they have.

You can't wear. I love,. But there, but there, like teams that I hate, merch that I would buy. Oh, it's the war. Cowboys have some great merch. Cowboys have some great stuff. And also savings got some bomb ass shit too. You couldn't wear it. Well, I don't know. I could rock Ravens. Yeah, nobody beat us in Super Bowl 47. I couldn't do that. You couldn't. It's football seasons tough now, man. It's tough. Because now I'm like, can I come home? Yeah, and then I remember when you were a child.

I got, I got, I got, where's your dad's name about that? Oh, my dad says, fuck no. He's like, no, absolutely. I tried, I tried to call him like, we were like, he's just one of Bondore. He's just like, no, he's turning on. I'm like, damn, we won.

He's like, get the, we, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I will say though it's how I felt. There I say that video. It's a touching great video, but Kobe Bryant getting psyched with his kids, like, hold on, when they go for a small stuff. Yeah, it's such a great video, but there's just that thing that you're like,

when you first came out of the gates, dude, you didn't know how to. He was not hard. He did. I remember that. So if everyone I fully remember is that he came out he was like It was the same it was one article he goes. I'm not really from for him from Italy. Yeah, Italy. Yeah Remember when he passed we were Philly was claiming them hard, but yeah growing up

Well, I didn't claim we didn't claim them. I got booted like a motherfucker when the Lakers for oh Yeah, I remember all that. Lower Marion Jersey out. Oh yeah, he sold it, but that's just because people like to throw back jerseys. Yeah. Oh yeah, but yeah, that was such a weird thing. I'm from Italy, you're not. But with, so when I was younger, it was all Al and I were saying,

like I didn't care nothing about Kobe. Me either. Al and I were saying could have fucking punched Kobe Bryan the Faisal. Yeah, get him, get him. Yeah. He's like, you're like, Alan Iverson's from Philly, though, he's actually from Virginia.

He's from Philly, though. He was from Philly, he's definitely was from Philly. He could, you know, I'm telling you, as Joel and Beat is beloved in that town. Yeah. The only, but there I say, because call me a hack, I guess, for my two favorite athletes

of all time are the two Philly people that no one will argue. It's the Brian Dawkins and, uh, and Alan Iverson. Yeah. No one debates those at all. They were just mbied where he's at right now. Yeah. You can be close. Dude, I tell you right.

If he wins a championship, he will be. Oh, yeah. He's definitely over there. But even right now, like, McNabb's nowhere near on the level of the M&Nabs 14 years of winning. They hate like my friends who are diehard Eagle fans. Yeah, he's definitely over there, but even right now like Macnab is nowhere near on the level of the real. And we have 14 years of winning. They hate like my friends who are diehard Eagle fans. They hate Macnab now like they turned on them.

Really? I never turned on. I was just like he gave us 14 good years and made the playoffs a lot and made the champion. He's like, he was great. I don't, I don't get it, but they, they're like, ah, fuck. Do you think Randall Cunningham's more beloved than? Yes, because it's been longer time. think Randall Cunningham's more beloved than? Yes, because it's been longer time.

But Randall Cunningham fucked up. He said, I'm gonna go like, people forget Randall Cunningham did the famous thing. He got famous, married Whitney Houston for like two minutes. He did? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They had like a big like, it was a whole,

he was a Randall Cunningham. I was like, I'll just go, I got like, he's being famous. He's not being a great quarterback right now. He's being famous. I remember, I remember, I Reggie White was like huge. Wasn't he like famous like super famous? And then Jerome Brown was the other guy

and Philly Jerome Brown was he, but he barely played. Now when you like he was like, he died young. I remember. Oh, what are you gonna say? I just remember that era of the Eagles defense. You had jam, jam, jam, my trotter, Brian Dawkins, Hugh Douglas who was the, like, that was, even as the Eagles, even as the Eagles,

Hey, they're growing up. I love Hugh Douglass. Were you, were you doing the hair? He had the crazy hair. It was scary. Were you doing that thing where you're like, in front of your dad, like, fuck the Eagles and you walk on the Queen,

like, I was like, yeah, there's a good game. It's like, roll off, hey. Yeah, Hugh Douglass got three sex today. Now, so you think, I know your dad won't let you come back to the Eagles fan base, but do you think if the Six. Now, you think I know your dad won't let you come back to the E.O.S. fan base, but do you think if the Sixers win, that unites everybody, right?

I think the Eagles might unite the city more than the Sixers, maybe. It will. Yeah, I think the Sixers actually would be third on uniting the city. After the Phillies or the Flyers? Actually, I'm wondering if they might be fucking fourth somehow of those, but I'm telling you, I think baseball's died down and Philadelphia a bit. I remember

when I don't I'm not into baseball like that, but when they won, I remember going out there to that parade to the night, they were like that shit. It was amazing. Yeah, because I got swept up in it. I'm not a Broncos fan, but I got swept up in it in 97 when they beat the Packers. Yeah. All my friends are Broncos fans and they're like, we're gonna go down. I was like, yeah, I'll go down. I stayed to Eagle City first and foremost. I think first and foremost is Eagle. That is easy.

Well, Denver was waiting for, by the way, Denver had been like waiting for championships and they're losing in the Super Bowl like four times. And then they got to Avalanche and just want to stay in the cup and it was just more important that they were like, oh, we want a championship. But then when they won the next year with the Broncos all my friends were like Yeah, and I was like yeah

I remember when I spoke cigarettes I remember when the Eagles were I got a little emotional because I was watching my dad cry. Yeah I was like I love it with you. I'm sorry that I stood against you. I was like fuck off. You're not a real fan with you. I'm sorry that I stood against you. He's like, fuck off. You're not a real fan. Shut up. He's tears for me. Fuck cry. The tears of the world. Let that was crying. My friends was getting teary out. I remember going to sit there like they're like, get the fuck out of it. And I went, I even went out the night the fuck the city of my friends. He's like, he's a cowboy's fan. I had to beg them to stop.

Yeah, that was not the night. They got punched a cop horse. Yeah. That night. A horse? Yeah. A guy ate horse shit and then only got punched the horse not the night. It got punched a cop horse. Yeah. That night. A horse? Yeah, one guy. A guy ate horse shit and then only got punched the horse in the face. It was great. It was great. I remember being out there.

That was great. That's gotta be. I always like my favorite is the guys in those like parade slash riots where it's always, this is 100% time of like, there's a very white activity who climbs something with no real plan other than getting up there. And then he always go on top of like power lines and he's like, whoo, and they're like, all right, now come down. He's like, and then he has to be rescued or something like a cat that's really happens every day. Climb the, no, but people are on the street

sun and goes, can I jump down like, no! If they're greasing your lamp post, it's fine. Yeah, that's true. If the trick them, you have to put, you have to put, it was after the lamp post. Because of what happened at the, is because of what happened at the, the fillies. Fillies parade in 2008.

Yeah. When it came time here for that, I remember walking, greased the fucking polls. I remember. The buttered all the polls in town. I remember, I got to see two championships for the city, which is great. I remember walking when the fill see two championships for the city, which is great.

I remember walking when the Phillies won and just seeing cars on fire. And I remember just like taking pictures of that because I've never seen that before. It was a great win. Yeah, it was just like, whoa, these motherfuckers are lighting cars on fire. The craziest one I ever saw,

ever saw celebration wise was I was in Cleveland when they beat the Warriors game seven and I had a Sunday show Down at hilarities and I walked upstairs and it was just going crazy But I have seen the Broncos when I've seen a couple cities I've been in cities where they've won championships here when the Giants won it was the nicest Really kind of riot of ever seen because they were so Cleveland was so happy to get a championship that they were just like I of riot have ever seen because they were so Cleveland was so happy to get a championship that they were just like, Hey, man, you want a hug? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I guess. And then like two hours later it changed and everyone was like flipping bust. Yeah, let's fucking rape Mark sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you came out of the wrong door. You're gonna fucking die. But in Cleveland they're like, I can be a shit fight. Yeah, they're like, yeah, this good day, this is good days and you kill my parents. Yeah, I just woke up

I missed the superbowl, but I'm ready to fight yeah, I choked out my long-time common law wife Donner tonight Yeah, that uh, but like being gonna help me barrier Yeah, you guys that be buried Donner, but you see random mouth one time too many Yeah choosing to go against the team then having them win has got us Yeah, I'm paying for it now. Yeah, that's why I go so hard for the six is I'm like Fucking sixers. I'm trying I told myself I'm getting a hockey. I've never been to hockey game They're fine. They're fine. I've only been to a couple of you never been. Let's go to a flyers in New Yorkers I got to go to fill it though. Yeah, but aren't the Rogers gonna play out the rain. Yeah, no, it's playoffs right now

Are they in it? No, flyers aren't aren't in it. No flyers aren't it. But say maybe the next season, I'd love to see a flyers. Which is gonna be LA King's Flans. Flans? Flans? Something called their fans. Playing the flans everybody. Christine, why don't you just be an LA King's fan and then have JB a flyers fan?

You'll never put on sports without me in the house. No, she doesn't care. She barely. Dude, her getting into hockey would be so funny. Would have ran him out of sport for Christine to be in. And she goes, you guys check out the Kings as forecheck. And Christine will be like, I watched the entire game front to back when I'm on the road.

We're not just gonna see the front of the back. She goes, yeah, I know I watched the game the whole time. And then she has it all on is what she means. Cause I'll be like, you believe like, you know, for shit, Thaible got that major concussion. They had to stop the game for a minute. And they took him out on a stretcher. And she'll be like, what? Yeah. I'm like, yeah, heibal got that major concussion. They had to stop the game for a minute and they took him out on a stretcher and she'll be like, what?

Yeah. I'm like, yeah, he's like done for a while. No. I had a game on the old tournament. I watched it. Oh, look happy. Where do you go? I'm gonna watch it.

I'll have the game on TV and she'll be having, so I have something on her computer watching it. That pisses me off. Oh, one that watch. It's like going to the room, going to the bedroom. The sound is basically, I have a girlfriend. Oh, one that what I like. It's like going to the room, going to the pedal. Your sound is messing with. I have a girlfriend that knows more about sports than I do. I know, I just have to shut up.

I really like who's that guy? Who's that guy? Is that guy good? Is that guy good? Do you know, do you cheer for him? Do you know when I retold Mike Fenoyah in a hotel room, before I went to therapy, I need therapy for this one for sure.

It's pretty funny. And Fenoyah in a hotel room, explain Explain them how much Christine hurt me in a fight. It's I got emotional retelling him and I was like She said to me after like years or whatever she goes and I sit here and she's like in a city and I watch 82 fucking six years games with you a year. She was I don't really care. I don't care who wins. I don't like you know I'm like I was like I go, I go for my go. And I'm just like, that's cool, but like, I thought we were sharing. I thought we were sharing. I think I thought we both like to sit down like we,

I'm getting goosebumps rethinking about now what you say. Because now whenever she watches now, I'm like, Jay's getting shocked. She's what a good game. I'm like, fuck off. Just fuck right off. Jay, I just heard she go, I watched 82 fucking games fuck right off. Jay, I was just hearing she go, I watched 82 fucking games. Yeah.

And Jay, I thought you were gonna trust the process. You didn't trust it. Oh, with me. So now almost every speech I go, I didn't even give a fuck, but like, MB didn't get MVP. It's pretty fucked up. Like, if you're wondering why I'm like,

bumming, I think you feel pretty shitty about video games at 1.2. What was that? I was carrying about, like what you do in a video game when you're trying to show me stuff. I'm like, bombing. I think you feel pretty shitty about video games at 1.2. What was that? Carrying about what you do in a video game when you're trying to show me stuff. She gave me that too. I'm like, yeah, look at that.

You say, look, you say, like, if you're doing something, look at the game, you're like, Christy, look at this. Oh, that's, God damn. That's bad. That's bad. By the way, by the way, it was, she checked us out. She doesn't even know the story. No, she just comes in.

No, the worst that they show her something good was when she would sit there like one of the MBA games for some reason I just couldn't get over a hump of like I mean the first game of the sea I've finished everyone always but like one of them I was months on the first game of the season I just want I started on like a level is to which I wouldn't do anymore I would just start on easier level and then figure it out. You try to start on the hard level. I can do it. Because I play every year and I'm like, it's good.

Whatever it was, it's a little bit different and I just couldn't beat the LeBron calves. Oh, yeah. And it was, and Christine had to sit there through a lot of like, like we saw all the time, Dan, like talking to yourself but out loud, game talking on like, yeah, yeah, yeah, why the fuck like it's like Christy and see your me look at her with a genuine face to go. I think they make the fucking programs like I guess I can't win the first game Yeah, yeah, I guess they've done something that they feel I'm winning and she says to be like okay I'm like it's pretty fucked up though and she's like I'm not as emotional about as you are go why not?

You started doing that shit like he doesn't do that in the real game I'm hitting circle. I'm hitting Never done that or I slow him up back. I go look he goes through Fucking basket. I did that head goes through the basket When I was doing the dynasty during the during the pandemic I was doing a dynasty and like Katie came in the kitchen one time and I go, this is an interception. Look at this. How's the interception into it seriously? It's easy. That's a much better one. Christine takes me down a peg. You pause the game and it goes to it. I do and I broke it down for like I was John maddened. I went for Christine

the flush of toilet and then when she comes out I go, I know I don't care but like, look up. If you don't believe me, this game is against me, then look at this. Let me tell you the most embarrassing one. That's worse than that. That's worse than showing her a good thing on the video game is I played WWE two games. The good thing is the funny is, look at what a good boy I am, I did good.

So I played WWE two games, 22. Or I just played WWE two games, I love it. Yeah. I've had her walk into the living room while I'm putting different pants on a wrestler. This is like, that's from dressing your dolls. You do a creative player. Yeah, yeah, I have all. Oh, hey, you're messing with his hair?

I'm all. You're picking your idea. You're doing his facial features? Like, you know, he's like, why? Fix it his nose. No, but like take him in an existing wrestler and putting a different trunks on him. Oh, you're doing his facial features like no He's like why it's fixing his nose like take him in existing wrestler and putting like different trunks on him Oh, you know, I realize they bitch you up in these games all around It matters to me when I do the edit

Uniform when I click on it when I click on 2k to play a NBA 2k pick in their use I go I go I go if the other teams were in white I go we're wearing the city additions means nothing Yeah, I gave up my when I first moved in New York, I gave up my Xbox. I was like, I'm here for comedy, I'm going to focus. I haven't had a game since, so I'm really out of it. Really? You know what, I did the same thing.

When I moved here, I sold everything. Yeah, and I was like, the same thing, yeah. I'm gonna go to New York, and then I was living with, like maybe 10 months living here. I'm living with my buddy Victor, and he's like, his mom runs a restaurant in Arizona. Yeah. I think he's mom's a wrestler.

No, what? I know it's seven-starred. WWE Divas champion, Tristratus. No, but he was like, my mom runs a restaurant. In Arizona, there's a line cook that's on meth. He's looking to sell his Xbox 360 for like 90 bucks, and I was like, do it. It was like 2007. I was like, Xbox 360's were like, kind of was like do it. It's like 2007

I was like Xbox 360's were like kind of still hard to get I was like do that do for under 100 bucks I'll do that and I'll pay for the shipping I was back the second it showed up I started playing it and I've I've bought video games the entire time I haven't went back Yeah, I gave my I gave my Xbox to my row. It was like yo, man. You take this. I'm here for comedy It was like, yo man, you take this. I'm here for comedy. No, no, no. He loves it. But I'm here for like three years.

He's like, all right, it doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, you can play this during the day. If you want. Yeah, I'm like, no, no, late night when you get home. Yeah, I'm like, no, no games. You take it. I don't sleep on a bed.

I sleep on the floor. I'll sleep on the money I make for a car. I'm about to kidnap more. I'm going to don't. I'm grown. And I haven't went back since, but yeah, I definitely got to get back into it because I used to be a bad like Sit all around all day and do nothing, but you can get I said I would play

But you know I grew up playing video games like a ton. Yeah, I was also like home like babysitting my brother and sisters Lots so I played a lot like that but like now it's like I Don't even know most time when I sit down. I finish a game of NBA But you could save them in the middle of the game now, so I just gonna put it on like 15 20 minutes Five I gotta get it. I remember getting as whoopin's like I will come I will be playing the game My mind will tell me do and she's sooner she walking she's like get the fuck and she would come and swing it really sitting down Playing game. Oh there. She got beat by your mom for all the time. You were saying, beat in the games because Dan came with my house just today and straightened my ass out in fake real fighting

and UFC and then fake, fake fighting in WWE. He didn't want it. And it was mercifully beat me ridiculous in both. And it was, that makes you not want to invite the person over to me. I know. Listen, I got one speed to playing video games. It's win.

No. No, I knew, we used to play UFC all the time together and then I remembered the buttons quickly. I think quicker than J was expecting me to remember. And then I started learning how to faint and I was like, it's in trouble. You put me with Donald Saroni and you. Oh dude, that was the worst fight.

I haven't played a fight in game and so on. But I remember Street Fighter, we used to just go. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, it's mash button. Yeah. Yeah, it's Mortal Kombat just hitting back and forth until it did something fucked up. So you need to be like a Savant, like Kurt Metzger,

like he knows like the deepest character, he goes, I'm gonna do Sub Zero's third alternate finisher. Like, he's like a civil, he goes over, over, up, down, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, right, square circle. Kurt, Kurt was the worst person in the world to bring up when I was like an open Micer

I just wanted to talk to like these guys, you know like Jay and Kurt would be around and I'm like, oh, what can I talk to him out and I knew Kurt had just wrote for the video game awards with Nate and I was friends with Nate and Nate's like Kurt now wrote So I was like I'll Kurt knows video games and then a new game came out and Kurt and I wrote stand up New York I was like, oh if you check that game out. He's like, yeah, I beat it on Tuesday. Have you played it? And I was like, no, no. He was big on that too. He's like, yeah, I just played 12 hours straight and beat it.

I got to stayed up all night and beat it. The only game I've ever beat is Metal Gear Solid. Really? That's the only game that's the only game I've ever been. It's really great to be beat of that game. That PlayStation 2. Yeah. It was the only game.

Probably the only game. Never beat that. It's too hard. There's been a bunch of those since and they're horrible. They're not good Probably yeah, but like that first one was just like uniquely great. Yeah. Was that your only video game? You beat that was that was the only one I remember beating like I remember beating it and playing again And then they had another one I played that beat it and then I was a huge That's also that's also before they really gave you like now if you beat a game

You get like a 20-minute like beautiful movie of the ending of ending of God of War is like an emotional journey Oh, yeah, you keep playing a sense the stairs of heaven and it's like beautiful Hold her Storylines as crazy you get emotional watching a storylines well There's that one that's the big emotional one is last of us the last of us which did two I've never played last of us to I think it's so good I know they were both great but the last of us like a zombie thing and like the beginning of the game spoiler alert Beginning a game. It's like a little girl walking around her house with her dad and then she wakes up in the middle of the night

And she's looking for her dad and there that's it the night of the zombie apocalypse basically happening and Still super violent like oh, oh this is okay, I just remember playing Like resident evil and it's like head shots. It's like that. It's very much like that. But this was like but the storyline of it was It's a little bit call a duty head stuff. It's very much like that, but this was like, but the storyline of it was, you're the little girl, you're controlling the little girl in the beginning of the game. So you think it's gonna be about her doing this thing.

She gets killed immediately in the beginning of the game and it's like her grieving single father. And then it's years later, it cuts the years later like this to, this topy in future and you're like, whatever you have to forget what the ultimate goal the thing was, but in that time you pick up a little girl who's like being traded more or less. And that's like him. The last and it's like him like taking care of the he's

supposed to be delivers her to be up to be like to be like experimented on or something. She's immune to the virus, whatever it is. It's all in the game. Dude, it's it's straight up a movie. You just play it in a movie. You're playing a movie. I know things to get to kill the doctor who was gonna do the evil work on her. I looked at shit like, because I'm like, I've seen stuff like Fortnite.

I'm like, oh, this pussy. It's just, in my mind, like they don't even make games like Resident Evil no more. But I look at my nephew's play like Fortnite, I'm like, that's just wack man. I'm like, I'm gonna fall back. I think they've addicted though. That's not my thing though, either. They're addicted. Yeah, they can. I don't think online's play like for it. I'm like, that's just wack man. I'm a little back. It's not my thing though either

They are addicted. Yeah, they can I don't say online stuff means nothing to me like Yeah, I just want to entertain myself. Yeah, it's like mad magical like Cornie shit like the building yeah, I'd be like, huh games is wack man, but then I see some shit I go damn well, that sounds crazy. I will play that we're all from like basically the same time period of where they just where we were growing up they're just making video games for kids yeah they're like these are video games video games are for children but now people in their 50s and 60s have been playing video games their whole life so now they're like oh yeah no there's like a row blocks for kids I was gonna say you still have that was I went yesterday to the PlayStation store just on

the online thing yeah we need to get it on a on the on the home page Fuck I gotta get and you go down you like I go like you click on like what's new? What's new games? I don't even look at the one but there's more than anything else still because it is you forget It is still ultimately for children to a degree most of the games are like bubble blocks word math And all that kind of stuff and then it'll be in the middle that it'll be like you know Vampire destroys like a guy on top of like skulls and all that kind of stuff. And then it'll be in the middle of that, it'll be like, vampire destroys a guy on top of like skulls and all that kind of thing. And I think I'm thinking of all the efforts.

But a lot of the games are still just kind of like, you know, a ball going like boom. What do you take your PlayStation on the road? Yeah, so now I was telling Jay about this. You can download something to really, to really in technology. Called PlayStation Remote. And then you can leave your PlayStation on res mode at home.

And then you bring your controller and you can play PlayStation on your laptop. See, that's your home system. Do you do that? Yeah, I did it. See, that's the best. We have to have good internet. If you don't have good internet sucks. Even when I was really into games, like anytime I had to leave or do something, I would

miss playing a game. Yeah, Nintendo Switch. Nintendo Switch. We both have Switch. You can just play with it. I'm telling you, man, video games are, they do it with their ass. No, Nintendo switch. We both have switch. You can just play play with it I'm telling you man video games are Pretty great you could ice the my backpack I'd bring on the road was primarily to bring all the way back to my Xbox 360 There's something to bring the whole big you want to talk about console on the road up to like I think the PlayStation 4

I had like a slim line I can bring on the road, now, yeah, like that switch is just like it's a, you can link it to the TV, but it's this big. If you want to talk about an embarrassing moment, it's when you're going through airport security, it goes off and they're like, I'm pack your bag and you're like, you're like, is that a bomb? You're like, I wish. Then you pull it out and you're like,

this is my PlayStation. You take all your laptops and PlayStation. Yeah, fuck, James, what a PlayStation. I used to think I'd go, why does my PlayStation so so much get like flagged security where they have to wipe it down with the bomb residue thing Yeah, I'm like, oh, they're probably like why does an adult have this? Yeah Why is it such a priority to or why are you bringing a carry on extra carry on to lug video games? Like I clearly heroin in this right guys. We got another man boy Man boy, I'm lame. I gotta get one. I gotta get one more. No, just stick with it. You're less lame for not having it

I'm leaving it. I'm gonna get one. I'm gonna get in the place station five You can do it. I'm gonna see you we're gonna see you a year from now. You're gonna be like dude I'm my life's ruined. I'm fucking don't do it. I'm out of game all the way back. Yeah, Jacob you were never video games, right? No, honestly, the, the last console we had in the house was the, damn, he said, it's the Atari. Is that right? You say console. Hold on. You say console if you have, if you haven't played it since the 80s or you're super into it, yeah, I would say console. Yeah, like really?

The gamers would be like, that's a good, what console do you have? Oh, okay. That's a sorry. Oh, we had the Atari. That was it. I'm judgmental over people, not so much PlayStation Xbox people, but people who really have the multiple screens, like set up games, and it's for like a game where it's like, you know, I have this many magic points and we have to save up. It's like, it's like, oh, that's so hard. Computer gaming is a different world. It's like, that's like, oh, that's so hard. Computer gaming is a different world.

It's like going from snorting Coke to fucking smoking heroin. It's just, have you ever seen the ESPN footage of like, with a league of legends, professional videos? I don't know what the fuck it is. He's even having on the screen. I'm like, who's winning and what's the game? Bring up footage of pro gamers.

Maybe they're getting it in too. They make a lot of money. Like the, especially on the sports game. Do they? Like the madden guys Yeah, no those do that good those guys going in those guys go in and I used to think I was that good in madden to yeah Dude break the world Break a Jacob rules

Jacob rules what would make up rules when you played a madden? It was like all right We put this because I remember I beat Madden a few times on the heart, on hard, and I was like, yeah, I'm ready. Yeah, I played. When you play a kid, and you're like, I'm pretty, I would say I'm pretty good at NBA 2K. However, you have one person who comes in and really runs like the organized plays and stuff.

Like you could be, I'm good on the picking up the control or playing another person who just wants to play. Yeah. The first time I let the things substitute for me control or I'm playing another person who just wants to play. Yeah. The first time I let the things substitute for me time out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I hate those people that just like, oh, wait, I gotta pause, I gotta get this person. The first time I ever worked with Shane, I brought my PlayStation and we were playing Madden

near Helium, like you're staying at the hotel and he came back and I beat him like two games and then he beat me one game where I was just getting blown out and I was like, all right, let's just start another game because I'm getting blown out. And to this day, he'll always be like, remember when you quit?

Remember when you quit on me? I was like, I quit because I wanted to get another game in before he's like, not on a high. I had a friend of his years ago when he's down, like 21-year-old, he'll just go, boop. Yeah, reset it. Oh, that was a big hurdle. That's a fight.

We fought over that. Don't touch my game. I've done that to friends where I've been like your video game privileges here are revoked Yeah, you can no longer play video games in my house, cuz it'll lose well Christine It's not just a gameplay. It's a look up professional gaming like professional like contests like Competition because they become a team we had a member came with a PlayStation crash Crosband to yeah, that was like a magical game, wasn't it? Yeah, it's funny to see the first game for everything.

The first game for everything is a, was a, did Sonic the Hedgehog? Dude, it was crazy. When I first got it, it was like, how the, it's going so fucking fat. Yeah, and the graphics. You know what's not going fast at all? You didn't learn that the screen's actually going fast.

My friend. I don't know what it's going with. The things will never leave the middle of the screen. My friend Brian got like a Sega before everybody. And it was like such a jump from Nintendo to Sega. And we were young. We were like, eight, seven or eight. And he got like a Sega and he got really sick.

One time when he was like, had a fever and he was like gone from school for a bunch of days. And we saw him and he's like, yeah. I remember when I was sick and you guys all came over and played my Sega in my room And me and my friend Scott were like, what the fuck are you talking about? It was the lyrics. Yeah, you have like fever dreams that we were like in his house.

You have that. But what's funny is we were waiting for him not to be sick anymore so we could go play Sega. You like, can we play Golden X? Yeah. Yeah, all right. Yo, do you, you play wrestling games, right? Yeah. Yo, you play wrestling games, right? Yeah. The last time, I don't know if it was a breaking on up,

but the guys can't fight the girls anymore on these games. I think maybe now we can. We were going to play well on my own set. Because I remember how much I got out of my system. I'm going to see you over there. Yeah, what do you want the cops to get involved? I play the last wrestling game where I play, you know, you can just, you can pick Sable and Stone Cold if you wanted to. But it was recently, like two years ago, I was

playing wrestling game when I tried to, like, because I was trying to learn the moves and get good. So, like, let me just pick on a girl till I learn how to do the finishing game. And it didn't let me. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, it's probably not a real thing. Earlier versions, like, this is leading to a lot of little sisters getting power moments. Yeah. Have you ever looked up in the downloadable content the most funny There's like a Harvey Weinstein or something. There's people that do funny shit. Yeah, right? There's like a Trump. There's like yeah

Right, that's why they make they make them they'll make Trump as a wrestler No, I come to the rain and they but they're like good computer bills. They make them good. Yeah They spend time like it looks like so you're like, oh damn Trump's about to win their continental championship. Yeah. This is phase. By the way, there's no. Yeah, there is no attractive. You're either fat or or goofy looking. I'm excited to watch him fold his hands in hot chicks though. Hot chicks will be gamers. Oh, yeah, that happens. Are they into the gamers that they look like shit? I think what they're in now. I think what they're into is on their twitch People give them money if they're hot because it's other dorks watching them and they can't believe this girl dress like Chun Lee is sort of showing your nipples through her shirt. Yeah, it's being the hottest girl to chess club. Yeah

It's the same. We just was the because every weird thing like that has their girl member Dan we watched the What was the documentary about the flat earth, the flat earth earthers, and it's just all led by like, it's a guy, but he's fueled by a girl who's just unattainably hot to him. And she's like the sweet heart of flat earth thing. Katie would crush me in Call of Duty. Like she's so good at it.

Yeah, my girl. Call of Duty? Oh my God, I've watched her play and I'd be like, I don't know how the fuck you're doing Any of this I suck it for his person shooters, but I've seen her fucking clear room where I'm like I bet you could beat most of my friends in college. I don't think I've ever played a game with a girl. Yeah, yeah Crushed by it what's funny is when I was playing caught got a warrant She had already beat it and I was playing it during the pandemic and she was like you're doing it wrong

And I was like I'm doing it right you start getting mad and she's like, you gotta go up here and you're like, I did have to do that. I don't know why you had to say it. I'm putting it back on easy, man. I guess I played with a girl who was genuinely good at the game I was playing against her. Or I guess if she was better than me, I would try. But I wouldn't be like upset if they beat me.

No, I wouldn't. I've gotten mad at my ex-wife went to a party, her law school friends when she was in law school to their house and I was so like bored with the grouping of people. Cause I was just like the outcast of that group. Sure. So all bunch of academics and I was just sitting there

and he was like, oh, we have like, it was a fighting game for you, a Mortal Kombat or something. Whatever it was, it was something that like, I'm not gonna fight games. I've never been good at fighting games, never. But I've played them enough to know like the basic ideas of what you're trying to do to make combos or moves and I'm my my ex-wife wanted to play with me and

like she beat me with like a low kick it was like Bobby kill you to have a joke about the exact same thing that happened and I mean the steam I was holding in in front of her Chinese law school friends she's like I don't even know what I'm doing. That's like so easy. I'm like, it's not. And then I think I put on Madden or something. And a guy who was there just like, he's like, I've never played this before. And I was like, it's the time simply where it was. Yeah, he snapped a ball this before. And I was like, and it's the time simply where it was. He's like, yeah, he snapped a ball with X, and then these buttons are all to a different receiver.

And he's like, beat me in that, and like a close game. A close game. And he longed, and I was like, he said, I don't like your friend's house. I don't want to hang out with your friends anymore. I don't like you hanging out with your friends. Oh, you fuck.

I played games with girls like at like bar cave where I'm trying to get laid to some just Well sure Oh you got it one time I went to a friend's house and there was like this this like Xbox 360 Game where it was like big cartoonish wrestling wasn't like wrestling was like where they're Jigger and it's like you just smash like smash brothers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and we were like Drinking and smoking weed and playing and I was like all this game is so stupid and fun to throw it on She's like all right. Let me see. I'll be the undertaker and then she beat me and I was like okay

We'll do that again and then she beat me again, and I was like this is getting worse and worse And she beat me a third time and I was like this I think I don't know this game's busted I gotta go I gotta get out of it when they beat you and then they have a thing who's oh so what and then they have a thing that was, oh, so what? And you're, yes, what? You know what I mean? And you don't know that hours out play. I wish I knew gossip to tell you

before somebody had a friend. And so funny, oh, so what? Everything. Everything's wrong. So what? Everything is so what? Have you ever had a spaz out in front of your friends because you've lost video games?

Oh yeah, we used to fight. Like, we used to get like really like into it. Like my friend I used to turn off our PlayStation PlayStation was we used to fight all the time. He just get up and turn it off. He'll just turn it off or he'll throw my controller. As you said that I was big on the cell fight. I was bad on the set your own properties like the actual gaming console itself was a you are always a polite gentleman with

others. No, no, no, no, no, no, I was I'm saying I was abusive to my own like equipment. I was real big on a friend's definitely see I think I told you It always a polite gentleman with others. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no swinging the cord so the control, the control was hitting the console and dinting it up. Thank God that those things were like tanks, those old consoles. So it's fine, but I mean, I would whale on that thing and it's like so ridiculous. Doing you break something because you're so mad and then you have to be like,

fuck it, now it's broken. Do you talk to yourself? I talk to myself because I know I'm not gonna do it, but I say the things still, when it's going with a video game like that, I go, I want to put, I want to put this controller through that window. You hold the controller, you go,

oh man. You try to bend it, you try to turn it. We go, just fucking, just fucking, just fucking, I was trying to break it. Yeah, it's not really trying to be, you're squeezing it, you're like, you're definitely giving yourself the thing.

It's like, you have a crack in, could break it. I've heard something, but I've never seen a crack. I've done it one time where I was like, where I was like going like this and I was and then I broke the box The square button and I was like shit and I plugged it back in I was like no I was to find that I have much more body motion involved with tonight So I'm very big on like something going weird and like yeah, like really? I gotta stand up like turning up like turning on my side. I'm like, oh hit that shot. Into it, I stand up like video sports game.

I gotta stand up. I'm in the front of the TV. I'm talking shit. If I play someone, I get that way. If I'm on the computer, I can be pretty sure. When Pete Davis came over to play NBA 2K the first time, he only shoots three pointers. Oh my god.

But it wasn't just that. And the only stuff three points, when he shoots it, he stands up at 100% of the time. And then if it goes in, he has a good standing stuff. But if not, he would just sit back down. But every time a shot went up, he stood up. And it was just such an distracting. I'm like, it's how you win.

It's always some random player, too, that can just knock down three. So this is the craziest version of that was I went to the University of Arizona Before for a while ago they used to have NCAA con tree. Good. Dole. I did yeah Yeah, you go dollar it was a good Arizona was there, but yeah, so was Selim Stadmer the stories about Selim Stadmer This is more to us. That was more exciting about the Andre Stadmer was a way bigger baller in Arizona, but my buddy, I was friends with him through a friend and we would like sometimes hang out and smoke weed.

And we were hanging out smoking weed and we had NC double a college basketball. He was currently the starting shooting guard for the Arizona Wildcats. We played NC double a college basketball and he picked Arizona. And so I was Michigan State and then he would just throw the ball to himself and then shoot a three. And at first he was kicking the shit out of me, but all he was doing was shooting three pointers. So I started going down low and fucking banging on it and then he started missing with

himself. So it got to the point where the first half he was kicking the shit out of me having the best time of his life. Second half I came back and won and he was mad. He was mad here. He was like, he's in my apartment. Oh, but he was like, he still kicked it out. Yeah, but I really thought,

Give me a minute, give me the room for a minute. I thought I ruined, I was like, I thought I was about to be friends with Slim Stoddmeyer and then he was like, all right man, I gotta get out of here. Hey man, I'm sorry. I was running a two-three zone and there was really nothing you could do if I was in. I never was.

No, he played in Turkey Wait, yeah, you went to college. No, I cool me neither I was like I was the county community college for a month. Okay. Yeah, well the community community CCB But I don't have any cool CCCP yeah, I must get you my mom when you should try harder in high school either one of you guys would have cool college stories We were cool in high school, and I thought we didn't go. I'll say what, a lot of comics who went to college,

a lot of college schools who have read it. A lot of comics went to college, and they looked bad. I don't think they're wrong about having the experience to draw from in life, but like, I just lived experiences doing comedy. Honestly, outside of getting robbed, I would probably say all the experiences I had,

I could have had in comedy. And for some stans, or you'll ask me, that's what's funny, and I'm telling my daughter, and the time she's at in her life at 19, where she went for the year and then didn't go, now she says she's gonna go back, but I'm like, whatever. So yeah, how do you talk to, do you talk, you tell her they're like, go to, because I have that with my nephews now, I'm like, asked my nephew. I was like how school to my mom just goes He's like a ninth grade. I'm like I'll I did was ask him house like Yeah, I'm trying to be like an adult when I was like, what are you care? Why are you asking that you actually just start chitting on me in front of

I'm like, all right. I'll never ask No, my daughter's got interesting thing. I know we got to wrap the show up in a minute. My daughter's got an interesting thing of my, her mother did it all NYU in law school and as a lawyer and I went to none. And she just sees all her stuff. And she's like, so I kind of leave it to her, whatever she wants to do, you know,

I'm like, just, I'm like, don't go and waste money just to go. Or if you want to do something. Okay, so there's get stories about smoking weed with a point guard that doesn't want to be friends with you. Regicon quest is going to be on season two of that day, Michael Chase. So premiering May 26 on HBO Max Reggie. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you very much.

Uh, Dan Soder dot com. Check out his dates. He's got a bunch coming up grand rapids. He's coming to London. Everybody. And then this weekend, comedy Key West, Lewis J Gomez and Big J going to be there. Key West forward at May 27th, May 28th. Go get tickets now, and then go to bigjaycomedy.com for more tour dates, including Bert Krasher's fully loaded festival. We love you guys. Well, I have a happy memorial day, and we'll see you on Tuesday.

We'll see you on Tuesday. Enjoy the little tips tomorrow. Don't burn yourself. Grilling. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM!