The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Guess Who's Coming To Slipnot?

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

Big Jay's only child has some unsettling news for him. His 21 year-old-daughter is all grown up and reveals a secret to him that she has been holding on to for years. The gang is going to a Slipnot show next week and Jay will have deal with his daughter's life change at the concert. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly We're back. It's the bonfire serious xm back to talk 103 Bobby big balls Kelly and big Jay Okerson Jacob just left the studio and huff He's huffing and now we need Jacob back because I have stuff I want to talk about that we need Jacob here for Yeah Real quick let you know I closed on my house. Yes I want to talk about that we need Jacob here for Yeah Real quick let you know I closed on my house. Yes Very exciting. I walked in we went in the house my house that I'm selling closing next week, but the house that we bought We have a home which I'm which is weird

Because when you're selling your house and you're buying a house if the house you're buying doesn't go through and you Sell your house. I'll be homeless But closing the house today you go into a room. I can't believe how not to bore people but what goes into selling a house is I Mean I walked into a lawyer's office There was probably 50 pages of documents that this lawyer is going over with me and I'm staring through his skull just nodding my head going cool yep got it just signing I have no idea what I signed I have no idea anything he said I don't know what I did all

as I know that I spent a lot of money on this house and it's all my name yeah it's on me so I'm locked down to Dawn. Whew. I mean, I love her. Don't get me wrong, but. But you'd have to kill her if you went out. In a subtle way. Yeah.

She'd have to be murdered. I'm trying to kill her. I understand. Yeah, but all done. We got the house. We met the neighbors. Remember I had the argument with the neighbors? In my shower?

Yes, I do. Neighbors are great. One's a volunteer fireman, the other a teacher in the school. Neighbors are great, neighborhood's great. All gay couples? No gay couples. Ooh. I would like a gay couple though, I'm a big fan.

That wouldn't be bad, sure. We have the gay couple. On the block, absolutely. Where we live. Keep Dawn occupied. We have the gay couple, Bill and Joe. Yeah. We spentth of July with them Yeah, because why they do fireworks the legal way up their ass. No, oh Six feet high six feet. That's it. Nothing higher than six feet each other's mouths

No six feet. You can only go six feet high with a hose running They always have a hose because if they're over six feet, they'll be too big for their asses. No That is true, but not true in this circumstance. But they always have, one of them has a hose running all the time. And they light the fireworks, Max gets to light them. It's on a piece of plywood. It's safe 4th of July, which I'm a fan of.

I'm a fan of the safe 4th of July. I like that. Jacob, I'd rather wait for you to get back to getting here, because this is big news in J-Ville. Hey, Chew and Jay and Sip and Bob, I just wanted to say Sip. I am gonna acknowledge my sip on air and say apologize. Oh, Chew and Jay and Sip and Bob.

Chew and Jay and Sip and Bob with old Huff and Puff Jacob. So, Monday. He laughed. He did. We broke him. Eventually he's got a laugh. Old Huff and Puff had a feeling. Jacob Q Huff and Puff. Oh look at he's got a heart. Look at that. Whatchamacallit. So Monday, next Monday. Monday. In the summer of concerts. Yes.

Slippin' on 25th anniversary at the Garden. Yeah. Trying to figure out who was going. Invited Lewis and James. They're not gonna be able to go. Bobby and Max, I believe, are gonna go. We are gonna go. You're going.

Yes, we're going to go. It's a tough one just You're going. Yes, we're going to go. It's a tough one just because of the, you know, we are moving Friday. Right. We're moving everything. We're taking everything from you. But your wife gave you permission. She gave me permission. She said you're allowed.

Dude, don't give me. She even said you could bring your ball bag with you if you want. Don't give me your doe eyes. Damn, do you know who wouldn't act like this? The guy who chomped you in front of Max that one time? Yo, bro, I'm going. That bitch can suck it. Unpack the house yourself.

Fucking unpack. Unpack it. I paid for it, you unpack. Right? Yes. I'm going. Max is coming. Yes.

Yeah. Going and coming. We're going, no, don't say that. Oh. We're not coming, we're going. We're just gonna go. Going, no one comes. No one comes, because, don't say that. Oh. We're not coming, we're going. We're just gonna go. Going, no one comes. No one comes, because one of us can't come yet.

Nobody comes, you don't know that. I do know that. Really? You keep trying? No. You keep trying and asleep. Wow, wow. No one listens.

I walked into that one. No. So. Yeah, so Monday night we're gonna go see Slipknot, Bobby, Max, me, Christine, and Isabella. My initial thought was like, oh, let's all bring everyone's kid to see Slipknot. That's like the kiss of now for showing kids

something that's gonna be holy shit for them. Yeah, I'm sad Lewis isn't going with James. Me too. Because James and Max are best friends. Me and Lewis, I like him a lot. Yeah, I'm sad Lewis isn't going with James me too because James and Max are best friends me and Lewis I like him a lot And you know when Mike health is down in Florida I'm here dude you're number one local Your number one New York City resident, yeah, dude, you're number one. Yes

Local your tri-state. Yes That's not bad, but Mike is number one local. You're tri-state. Yes. I'll take that. That's not bad. But Mike is number one universal. Number one universal. I understand, in the grand scheme of the universe. So Isabelle, though, when I asked her about going, I was like, you'll be done work by then, for sure, right?

Or if not, if you want to come in the bonfire and hang out before the show or however you want to do it. And she was like, well, let me see. I have to see if I can do it and I'm like Isabelle is slipknot This is our thing. We've been seeing slipknot since she was nine years old and she's like no. No, I really want to go She's like just like you gotta like see some stuff or whatever and then You know a couple days later. I was like, oh, I was like, hey Isabelle any word on the thing She's in Costa Rica with her mom

on a vacation, so she's like I Get on the phone and she goes, hang on, let me walk away from everybody for a second. When I call her yesterday to ask her about the concert. Because I'm like, what's the issue? What are you waiting for to find out? And she goes, let me walk away. And she goes, okay, so I'm gonna tell you this.

And I'm just gonna say it to you, is I do have a boyfriend which right away Made my it felt the way I described it as again. She's 21 So I'm not blown over but the involuntary feeling of just like, you know You step in front of a fire for the first time and it makes your skin feel like it's Shrinking to your skin. I had that like that. Oh, wow. I'm like what and then she was like, yeah And then right away you just kind of kind of keep it like Okay, so yeah, see my boyfriend what else well

and He's in town. I felt the same way when Max told me he had pubes Yeah, black bush I was like, huh? Yup. So she goes... She didn't tell Jay that. She didn't tell me about her Bush. Yeah, you know. I know why. Yeah, I hope you don't know that.

Well, I did a joke about her Bush when I was younger or when she was younger on Netflix, actually, weirdly enough. And segue. Segue. So she goes, I have a boyfriend. And he's going to be in town that night. So I'm just trying to see, I think it's his last night in town before he goes back to California.

And I was like, so how long have you had this boyfriend? And she was like, well, we dated for a while in high school. And then he moved to California, but he's trying to move back. But he's coming back and visiting a lot. So we started seeing each other again. And it's just all so much at once so then I go I Go all right Black guy for sure right and she goes she goes yeah, well Half black half Hispanic, and I went both

What What? You had to catch your breath while you jumped into cold water? What? Both? That's great. And, yeah, so then what she was asking, though, six foot five, by the way. Oh, jeez. Six foot five black dude. Let's not forget she's 5'11". She's almost six foot tall, yeah, black dude. Let's not forget she's 5'11".

She's almost six foot tall, yeah, so like, it's not good for her. Yeah. But I said right away, I told Christina, I have to do a fucking Reggie with this guy. The fuck are you? Yeah, he's gonna have to get Lewis. Motherfucker, you look 30.

You really need a Lewis. Yeah, you need a Lewis. Uncle Lewis? You need Uncle Lewis. I know, Uncle Lewis was supposed to, all I'm going to have is an Uncle Bobby because she's asking. Is he coming?

If he can come. She'd like him to meet me, and can he come with us to Slipknot? And I was like, I go, Isabella, I have a question. Is your 6 foot 5 black boyfriend into Slipknot? And she goes, I made him into Slipknot. I was like, I made him get into it. And I was like, she's like, he does like him. And I was like, well then shit, yeah, I guess so.

Like, what are we gonna do? Yeah, let's meet him. So he's coming. Yeah. I hope they just start deep tongue kissing. Oh, don't say that. I hope. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I hope you look. And I'm just gonna. Jacob. Yeah, Jacob wants that. I hope you. Do you have an extra ticket? I hope. You an extra ticket I Do you want to see this don't you I do want to see this I want to go

Big Jay Okerson meets his six foot five black son-in-law I just want to see his tongue coming out her ear Damn baby, I can't stop licking you what if he grabs her hair and bends her head back and just licks her neck? I have to look up and be like, sir, stop licking. Mr. Black, Mr. Black boyfriend, can you stop licking my daughter? Excuse me. Oh. Oh, it's going to be a hell of a thing.

I'm going to shake his hand, look at him. Hey, man, it's great to meet you. What if we find out what you do? What's up, what's up, son? Nice to see you. Listen, I love that it's great to meet you. What's up, what's up son, nice to see you. Listen, I love that she wants him to meet me, that's crazy. It was just dropped like such a hammer. All the bunches, so I do have a boyfriend,

go, never processed that. There was never even a guy when she was like in high school was like, you know, her mom was like, oh she has a little boyfriend in school. There was nothing like that ever, she just kept all of it. I hope he's just ghetto. I hope he's a yard, I do those make-me-ups. I heard you do make-me-ups Me white boy you say something funny white boy Your daughter said you mad funny say something funny then yeah, you ain't shit. I heard you know little kev

Hook me up. Are we going right from here Monday? Jacobs in Yeah, it's a we're walking down I hope they're just missing halfway through the cause Jacob. Here's the thing You don't even necessarily have to come to the concert the meeting is gonna happen outside Now we're all gonna meet outside for the first time then hang outside Yeah And then I smoke pot in front of him.

Your daughter's going to pull a loop, take off and go make out in the bathroom. Oh my God, could you imagine? If she's like, well, I couldn't let him go get an Uber by himself. I had to jack him off in the bathroom. What if he asked to smoke weed with you? Can I hit that? Like to bond with you. No, I mean, you're right. I'm gonna smoke

weed. You should either smoke it away from him or offer it to him. Offer it to him? What the fuck is that? What if he has really, really good weed? It's like having a beer with somebody. His weed ain't better than mine. He's 24. Yeah, dude. He can smoke weed. How old is your daughter? 21. Whoa. It's right there. He probably, he might not like weed. She can drink now. So she can just go get beers.

Twisted Teas. Twisted Teas her jam. That's her jam. She's a girl. She's a girl drinker like me, like her dad. They got Twisted Teas together. No shit. I'm all about like, you give me a fucking,

something that doesn't taste like booze all day long. You really are a Long Island Yenta. Yeah Oh my god, give me a truly in a hot tub shut up Shut right up bro. So we're going to the concert with your daughter and her new boyfriend. Who is a man? Who I'm eating? For the first time at the concert my daughter's six foot five black boyfriend I can't wait to tell max hey hey I know max gets a little wacky with the thing is whatever it is keep it between you and max and you whisper it

to me but let's not say it out loud I should throw my car keys when I see him right away hey keep it Oh don't do that He's like, I'm your daughter's boyfriend. I go yeah. Yeah, keep it close Yeah, the plus he's half black half Puerto Rican. Don't do that. Oh, yeah, probably is what he does. No, no No, what are you saying? I'm saying it's a little racist saying that if he's overachieving. He's probably a valet Why don't you go up to him and do this? Walk up, grab his whole dick and balls in your hand and go, yo You better be respectful of my daughter. I'm gonna suck this. Yeah

That pantomime was great in every single way except it seems like it's probably gonna be a two-hand job would be my guess I have to help you. Your one-hand grip. Bobby, get over here. Help me hold this guy's dick up. Hey, motherfucker. We're gonna suck your shit. You remember, that's a beautiful young lady over there. You treat her with respect.

Or me and my friend Bobby here are gonna come suck this. Ah. You know what? I guess first time meeting him, let's not have me and one of my closest friends threaten to suck his dick. Yeah. Let's not, let's wait have me and one of my closest friends threaten to suck his dick. Yeah. Let's not, let's wait until at least Slipknot's over.

Right. Maybe that's an end of the night. Are they coming with you? We're all going together, we're all gonna walk over. They're probably gonna meet there. They're probably gonna meet us. It's the garden, right? Yeah.

Okay, so we'll meet you there. Plenty of outside space. Yeah. No, I mean, they were going right from here. Right, well we're not gonna go to the beginning bands we're gonna go to now by time we get out of here leisurely walk over yeah so yeah well splitting that won't go on until nine thirty we should take the subway we'll take down to why don't we just walk I'll walk you love walking there's a problem with you you don't have plantar

fasciitis did you get the thing I do have plantar fasciitis you don't do you stand like a fucking statue for seven hours I do have plantar fasciitis. You don't? Dude, you stand like a fucking statue for seven hours. Which gave me plantar fasciitis, I believe. Well, but you don't show any symptoms. No, man. Me and Black Lou are fucking dying. A man never does. A man never shows his weaknesses.

All right. All right, well, all right, we'll walk down, I guess. I'll walk down. You want to take Penny Farthings? You want to take City Penny Farthings? Oh, we should start a company wanna take Penny Farthings? You wanna take City Penny Farthings? Oh, we should start a company of City Penny Farthings. He goes, leave me off right over here, there's a Penny Farthings stage.

It's always Josh. Josh is always looking for a city bike. So we're gonna leave from here, me, you and Max. Max is gonna get dropped off. Yeah, and then we're gonna have whatever. I don't wanna have Max on the show though. Okay. Right?

That'd be too much. It's not that much at all. 20 some odd blocks of anticipation to meet my new... Guess who's coming to Slipknot? No. Yeah. Yeah.

There's Jacob. Yeah. There's that funny bone. Guess who's coming to Slipknot? Oh man, what a great title for something. Guess who's coming to Slipknot, the big J story. Our disconcert. Hey, can we stop at the sardine store on the way down?

You gotta say, this is called rock and roll music, son. Sorry I'm not aware of what rock and roll music is. Are you though? Yeah, the white man stole it from the black man. Did we though? I'm getting really in this movie. You mind if I you mind if I give her a little kiss on the cheek? Yo, man, this song doing something to me, man I'm be walking around with too much blood in my pants, you know, I mean, mr Oh, I guess what I'm saying is would you be cool with me taking your daughter into the closet for a second?

I would not have liked that. So I hope he shows with like terry cloth shorts with no underwear and as he's dancing it's literally like a baby arm just swinging into people in front of him. That's your baby. It's your little girl. Yeah I hope we just see a monster flapping as he's dancing. Oh, man. I wonder if he's gonna do that. If you imagine if he'd dance, what if just, what if he's a skinny jeans black guy and we just see the outline of his tube? Yeah. Well, yeah, he can't, he'd fuck up one of those pole vaults.

Oh, yeah. I hope we have that Olympic pole vaulter cock where it just unhinges a bar off a fucking thing. Damn it. Oh, it's gonna be nice and big. But that's what I said, when you were, any trepidation you were having about going to this concert or should I go or I don't know, is it worth, I said when I tell you the situation we're walking into,

you're gonna wanna be, you'd pay double face value to see this happen. First time, I mean, Tuesday on the show, again, another difficulty, Tuesday pre-record's gonna be so, it was like today. We had to do a pre-record today, and not me tell you about this. That's difficult.

So, Tuesday when we come in, before we discuss, we have all Monday to talk about live, the preamble, the buildup to meeting my new black son-in-law. The buildup, you're right. And then Tuesday, we have to do a show with no, we can't discuss it at all. Well, it could happen that he shows up and he's just, hey, what's up?

And just rocking, having a good time. You think we still can't find 45 minutes of conversation about that? No, I'm saying that it's not gonna, that's probably not gonna happen. No, man. You think he's gonna say something weird in black?

He's gonna, I know, that's not what I'm saying. Like what, what would he say weird in black? Yo, Mr. Oak, how about your car? I'm like, what? I'm wondering, cause I just- Let me take your car home. I hope you have to buy him a hoodie. I hope he bullies me.

I hope he black bullies me. Like, yo, let me see your football real quick. I'm like, I kinda, I your car home. I hope you have to buy him a hoodie. I hope he bullies me. I hope he black bullies me. Like, yo, let me see your football real quick. I'm going home. He's like, let me just see it. I'll give it right back. And then I throw it to him. He goes, thanks, white boy. And just walks off with mine.

And I go, it's fine. I was probably going to get a new football anyway this year. Footballs are dumb as shit anyway. I don't even play football. What do I care? I hope he goes up to the merch. I'll get you a hoodie. Don't worry about it.

He's like, ah, shit, my wallet. And I, uh... Dude, that would be the best if he makes my daughter pay for everything for him. Hey, cupcake, get us, uh, get us two Trulies. Isabel, I thought you liked Twisted Tea. He goes, he says we like Trulies now. What if she's being abused by him?

What if she's in a violent, abusive relationship and I see it firsthand, one first day? It'd be great if she had, like, just a handprint on her neck. Oh my god. She's like dad this is my boyfriend. He goes bitch I told you to introduce me as MC Shizzle and he cracks her in the face. No he just makes her flinch. Oh yeah he goes, you're lucky your dad's here. What's up big dog? What's up big man? What you call me, big man? Just tries to alpha dog me? Yo, big man? What if he calls me big man? I don't think he's gonna call you big man.

Do you think he's gonna be nervously respectful of me? Yes, I think he's going to be respectful. I think he's a good guy. And I think- Not just no. No, I do just because I, you know, first of all, I didn't find out about this yesterday, so. Yeah, that's the other thing too.

Christine's been keeping this information for me for years? No, not years. I didn't know about about this yesterday. So. Yeah, that's the other thing too. Christine's been keeping this information for me for years. No, not years. I didn't know about high school, but I did know. I hope you show up in it. I think I give myself some credit for the, this happening, the introduction happening. Yeah, dark betrayal. No.

Monks and monks of dark betrayal. And I was like, listen. You knew? Yes, and I said, I was like, I remember, I go, I get not telling your dad and mom about your boyfriends when you're in high school. I go, but when I was like, listen. You knew? Yes, and I said, I was like, I remember, I go, I get not telling your dad and mom about your boyfriends when you're in high school. I go, but when I was, I go, when I was 18 years old, I go, I knew my boyfriend's family, they knew my family.

I go, if this is somebody you like care about that's in your life, I'm like, we should know him. How long have they been dating? It's on and off and it's long distance. So. I don't know. I don't know exactly. I haven't asked any questions other than his ethnicity so your daughter is his New York side piece so

when they get together I don't want to explain that to her I mean listen dude if this guy's good-looking right he's not going back to LA and and being faithful like when he comes in LA's in California but not LA okay like when he comes not in LA's in California, but not LA Okay, so he goes back to California. You think he's like waiting. I don't know. Do you fucking know? You're a 30-year vet of being a piece of shit I don't know if my daughter's being a piece of shit here what I'm what I'm wondering about is I'm trying to remember how I acted with my boyfriend like in front of families I'm wondering if they're gonna be affectionate at all

No way, they better not Or like if they hold hands or if he even like puts his arm around her or anything like that I'm not saying full-blown makeout But I'm wondering if they're gonna like kind of just stand side by side or if they're gonna be a little affect I hope they tongue kiss on the outside Shut up dude It's just tongues on the outside And they lick each other's tongues they hold hands and they lick each

other's tongues like this. And they just swap spit on the outside. And then the last one, he just sucks her tongue in. I mean. And then as he's doing, he's pointing to you. He's a big doll. It'd be funny if they just obnoxiously make out. And Isabel does it to make you uncomfortable. Oh my god, what if he haunts her tit

and then gives me like a knuckles to pound? Right, dude? Right, big dog? Stop calling me big dog. Hope you rub me your 65. You're the big dog. Hope he rubs her belly and goes, yo, papa. Papa. Oh, yo, Poppy.

I'm going to call you Poppy. Do you mind with that? I do. I hate it. Poppy. Poppy, look'm gonna call you poppy. Do you mind with that? I do Hate it poppy poppy look right here. I rub her belly. You know what in here? But a baby here yeah, but a baby Little big baby I'm not gonna make a baby, I don't even live here. Oh God, this is gonna be wild. Do you want him to call you Jay or Mr. Okerson?

Mr. Okerson. Fuck. Jay. No. If he says Mr. Okerson, you should say call me Jay. No, you should say Mr. Okerson, it's your daughter. You have to, let me tell you something. When I worked at the juvenile hall, right?

They said to me, greatest advice, you come in hard, be a dick. And I was like, yeah, but I was here, I know this, it's easier to lighten up than it is to harden up. If you come in light, you're not gonna be able to harden up with this kid. So I'll be like, call me master.

All right, Jay's fine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then I'll go, you know what actually, I thought about it, Jay's fine. Tell him to call you dad. Daddy, daddy Joe? Yeah, papa. Call me dad, kid.

Call me papa. Yeah. Call me big papa. Can you call me your daddy? Call big, big. Put her there, son. Call me big papa pump. Yeah, he goes, family doesn't shake hands,

family's gotta hug. Well, Okersons are huggers. Yeah, the Okersons are huggers. You're gonna learn this about me. I'm a hugger and a double cheek kiss. Oh, please do it. You go go all the way with that. Just love. Oh, yes. You know, I come from the world of celebrities, so we do a lot of this. Now we're also in a weird Illuminati sex shit. Would you mind putting a hood on and doing some kind of weird thing

with my friend Bobby's butt over here? Yes. His his 11 year old boy is going to shit on your neck during the concert, is that gonna be all right? But, you're gonna know all the secrets. I think it will be. Welcome to my white world, my new black son-in-law. It'll be a nice sign of respect if he says, Mr. Ogerson, and then you let him know what you wanna be called.

At least as an, that's a nice test. Commandant? He's not gonna call you anything. Maybe commandant. He's gonna go hi Common dog Common dog sir is good. Mr. Oakeson is as an introduction. He's not gonna call you sir. He's a troman Oakerson He's just gonna go what's up? Nice to meet you. It's all he's gonna do. He's not gonna call you Jay, sir, mr Oakeson he's gonna go hello. Nice to meet you. That's it

Well, that's good, and then I, and then I'm gonna freak out and panic and just go, Jay's fine. I didn't tell you anything else. Daddy, call me daddy. What? I gotta go. You guys watch Slipknot, I'm going home. I'm gonna suck your dick, what?

What if he calls Isabel like mommy or something? Oh, if he's got a pet name? Oh, please. What if he calls her baby doll? Or babe? Babe, baby doll. I haven't processed any of these things at all. Yo, yo, yo, yo, Pookie.

Yo, Pookie, you want to go to some merch? Ask your daddy to go get some merch. I'm going, I will, I'm going to be distracted at Slipknot. Yo, yo, Pookie. For sure. I will be slightly distracted. Pookie, tell your daddy I'm a double SL and you're on a Lodge. And get my friend, I need a double, I I need two eggs and get one for my mommy. If they start kissing I'm gonna dive into the mosh pit. Somebody hit me. Someone flatten my shit out.

If your daughter has a funny bone in the body, she will full tongue kiss him. She's got such funny bones in her body. I know, I'm like, oh, I want her to make you. Please, please just make out. If you have a funny bone in your body, at a certain point, just start making out. You could say all of this when you meet,

you understand we're meeting him together. He's meeting, he's meeting he's meeting father and uncle bob in the same day don't forget cousin maxim is he's got a lot to say also do you think stepdad louis's mind would change at all if he knew about that no yeah well he can't he's actually he's gonna host a show that night now um so he can't do what he said but he yes that night now. So he can't do it, he said. But yes, I think it would. This made this concert so much better. Absolutely. This is going to be great.

Now, now here's the thing. We get tickets where who's standing next to who? What? I don't know. Well, well, they oh, there's no there's no seats. No seats. Oh, man, my feet. I'm going to have to wear my hokas to a Slipknot concert. Yes, Bobby, wear your hokas. Okay, Jay, come on, son.

Come on, hokas. This is a crazy thing. I mean, how long? But I don't want my- They'll play for an hour and a half. I'm a little nervous about Max being in a, I don't want him to be in some mosh pit. Bobby.

You know what? Hang on a second. You're afraid of you standing up for hours more than Max in a mosh pit. Bobby, you know what? Hang on a second. You're afraid of you standing up for hours more than Max in a mosh pit. Now, here's the deal. We got we got we got that big kid with us, so he'll protect us. Now that he's coming, I feel safe. Now, there's a six foot five black guy with us. Yeah, the Puerto Rican black guy. Six foot five.

I'm safe for the first time ever, though, when I go somewhere. People are going to think he's my security instead of thinking that I'm safe. For the first time ever though, when I go somewhere, people are gonna think he's my security instead of thinking that I'm someone else's security. They might think that he's there making sure Big J's okay. You know what we should do? We should get a hoodie from Kevin that says security on it.

Big Papa's security. Big Papa's security. And we'll give it to him. He won't know it's him. And a picture of me? Yeah. Give him a thumbs up. I'll tell you this.

Yes, Jacob, I'm sorry. Well, I was gonna ask, what do you know about him? What does he do? Ask no questions. Still, I had to let the whole thing settle. And by the way, genuinely, not to settle on the race stuff. To settle just like I've never, there's never a boyfriend, her first kiss, her prom date.

These things didn't, these weren't brought to me at all go to prom and stuff because of covid she went to class of 2020 but there's nothing I had to process ever in this world until this very she goes to clubs and she's djing and stuff so I'm sure she's she's almost 22 my mind's not blown my mind's not blown that she's out there in the world doing whatever I'm just saying Jacob Jacob you're going to find out everything about him. She went for it all. She checked all the boxes. Big, black, Puerto Rican.

You have no information on him. This is great. Nothing. Oh my god. He's black and Hispanic. He's going to have pretty babies. He's six foot five. He's going to have a pretty granddaughter.

I know he's got her some pretty nice gifts. What did he get her? Stuff that a drug dealer would buy his girlfriend. Did you check the serial numbers on it? What did you get? Snub Nose 38? No, what did he get her? New Cadillac? What did he get her? He got her a new dress for the pimps and players ball. He's gonna make her, he said she doesn't even know what he looks like, he's showing at the back of his shoes if she looks up she catches one of the jobs did he really get her nice gifts I don't know the gifts this is Christine information that she's now dropping slowly but surely this is fucking wild

Christine you knew about this relationship for how long three years not three years how long before and as soon as we found out soon as Jay found out I was like, Rebecca knew too. How long did you know about this relationship? Two years. I'll tell you what also. No, not two years. What's crazy is, well, then we caught our friend Michelle.

And we go, so Jay just found out about Isabel's boyfriend. Joaquin? And Michelle goes, oh, is this the one in Florida? So that means that's another one she was just dropping the hammer on. There's another one in Florida? Damn, dude, my daughter's got hoes in different area codes. She got black dick buried all over this town like Tremors. What were the gifts expensive, Christine?

Were they like Christine gifts? They weren't, no, they weren't like Jay gifts, but they were very sweet nice gifts for a young guy to give a girl. I was like, oh wow, that's a really nice gift. Yeah? Yeah. Nice. All right, well there you go. Hey, hey. I'm like, you know.

Hey, Chippy Choo. Hang on, if you're gonna Chippy Choo, I'm gonna take a sip. I can pinpoint how long I've known about it, but I gotta find it. I'll give Jay a break. His blood sugar's probably low right now from the end. His diabetes. I also cough buttons too.

That's funny. It's a lot. Well, it's gonna be a lot. Hopefully it's a lot. Hopefully. It's probably at least nine inches. No, not that. Oh, oh. Piece of shit, not talking about his penis. I mean, it's definitely gonna be big inches. No, not that shit not talking about his penis

I mean, it's definitely gonna be big. He's six five He's six five and it's uncircumcised and they haven't seen each other. It's a long-distance relationship Oh that oh my god, is this the first night they're seeing each other? No, no So they got it out of the way when you haven't seen someone in a while Jay Jay. I've made these jokes for years. I'm gonna I'm gonna show hands. How hands done something. Yeah, that's your little baby. Oh that hand has been on your little baby Hey man, it's facts of life, I think I can't get I think I've known about it Like since she's been in esthetician school, like it really hasn't been that long. Huh? Is it over a year? No.

Huh. Mm-mm. And why didn't you tell him? We talked about it, she didn't want to tell her parents yet. But why didn't you tell him? I wanted her to tell him. Why didn't you tell him? Because I wanted her to tell him.

But why didn't you as his mate as his Winged person as you know what I guess I'll tell us all secrets. I know but you your mother wasn't your actual mother Yes, she was I it felt very I was your actual mother. That's why she came back in the picture finished taking care of you There you go. I wanted I'm just kidding. I feel like Christine really just Wanted I want is about to be the one to tell him and I'm just kidding, but I feel like Christine really just went ahead and just possibly tried. I wanted Isabella to be the one to tell him, and I thought that I could get her to a point where she would feel comfortable telling him,

and I didn't want to just blow that with Isabella, because she trusts me, and I want her to be able to tell me stuff. My girls lock it down. It's just, you know. Jay would have never, ever kept a secret. No, he would have told. I would have told.

Yeah, well, now you got it. So we hang out six-five, huh? That's big. Yeah, well, now you got it. So we hang out six five, huh? That's big. Yeah. How tall are you? We can take them together. How tall are you? Six three and shrinking.

Yeah dude, I'm five eight and a quarter. I'll bite his Achilles off. That's what I'm saying, but if you go on my shoulders, dude, we're taller than him. Yeah, I'm not going on your shoulders. Let me just go low, you go high. Okay, no problem. So you go behind him and you ball up behind his knees

and then I'm gonna come in, probably like some kind of a, maybe I'll do a bicycle kick or some kind of a spinning roundhouse thing. Yeah. Well, let's hope we don't have to do that. Well, he's probably, he's probably gonna- Keep up a lot that that's not what we have to do. We don't have to solve problems like that.

No, he's probably gonna be a sweet kid. He's probably, he went to Catholic school, did he graduate, did he go to college? He must've went to college. I don't know, man. You don't know anything about him. I don't know nothing about him. Does he have a job?

Yeah. What's his job? I think he picks up trash on the side of the road with a bunch of other guys in a bus. That's a prisoner, that's an ex-con. Oh, then I saw him at work the other day. Okay, okay. Oh, I think I saw him at his job the other day.

I must have been wrong. I hope he did eight months in the can for something. Hope he has a teardrop tattoo. Oh, he does. I really do. I hope he has an MS-13 tattoo on his forearm. He has two stars on his shoulders. You remember every gang?

Oh, how about that? I go, I go, Hey, man, what's your name? And he was like, you're like, like pimped up and then does some kind of crazy like gang symbol. Oh no. Yeah. He gets mad at you because you're wearing red and black. What if Isabella just comes down and you recognize her?

She's like, dad, why are you acting crazy around my new man? That's not how you talk. What? Why am you asking me that? That's not? You don't say why am. She paints her upper lip in. Man, dude, this is so much to take in. By the way, with sensory overload of a slipknot show, this is happening with the background of a slipknot show,

which is stage chaos. Christine, is this enough time to bring up some stage chaos from slipknot show, which is stage chaos. Christine, is this enough time in the van for you to bring up some stage chaos from Slipknot? Stage chaos! There's no seats, which is, uh... It's worse for you, because now you can't, like, normally you'd say, Oh, I'll sit two away from him so I don't have to be uncomfortable. Right. You're all together, and he could be embracing her from behind.

Well, I could... As they jam out to the song and stuff like that. You're all together and he could be embracing her from behind. Well, I can- As they jam out to the song and stuff like that. Right, and that's when I dive headfirst into the mosh pit. Yeah. Now the crowd, so we're gonna be- they take all the chairs out in the front, is that the case? Yes. And we're gonna be there?

For half of the whole thing, it's like half of it is pit. I'm telling you, if you stand behind it, there's no people around you. Yeah, there's like people as close as we are right now Bobby Christine am I right about this as close as we are to each other in the studio is you could stand like that Towards the back of the pit. Yeah, it's just the pits the wrong word. They create a pit. It's general mission It's just the standing, where it's the closest thing to be there though. So if you wanna get up front, you can, but you're gonna have to mush through a bunch of people.

Right, which Christine did it, rage against the machine. I don't do that. Right, I don't do that. I stay in the back. By the way, you're staying in the back, you're standing in the back, which would be the 10th row. It's crazy close.

It's just a big pit. But I could have Tyrone, if if I wanted to he could pull me his name is Tyrone oh sorry we could have him pull walk out he could actually take me and Max up to the front if we wanted because he's such a probably a big force yeah of nature let's guess his name though Bluntifus uh I'm thinking it's got to be maybe uh Scronllius? Raul? Oh, we're gonna go with the Hispanics. I'm gonna go Hispanic. I was going that way. Yeah.

Very possible. Or Tiki? Probably goes by some nickname. Tiki? Lokedog? The first name popped in my head? Bitchkiller? Esteban.

Esteban. O.G. Bobby Collins? Nutdropper? Blood in, blood out? Damn. My daughter, I out? Prack. Damn. My daughter, I can tell you though, boy I trust this guy's gonna be okay. She's a good kid.

The second she told me, before I even called back to go, alright, now give me some information on this guy. Is he a good guy? Is he funny? Is he nice? Is he buff? All this stuff I wanna hear about it. I called her back simply to go, hey, can I talk about this on the show

when I go on the Marl because it's a lot and I won't if you don't want me to, but it's the only thing in the world I want to talk about right now with anybody is my daughter's six foot five black boyfriend. Is that why you didn't call me back? And she was like, yeah, when I saw this, because I was going to call you to tell you about the concert

and then when you called later, I was like, there's nothing else to tell you but this and I know I can't not yet I wanted you to be because I like that you were even a little You know, I don't know what the move and I'm giving you all the I know max will love it But I don't know is I go when I tell you that you are gonna get to see me and with me. Yeah meet my daughters First boy from ever known about who's a six foot five black dude. And in Spanish. Both. I wonder if they speak Spanish to each other. Oh that's great. I hope she speaks Spanish all night. Yeah. She's fluent. When she speaks

Spanish you're like does this girl speak English? That's great. I hope they don't speak English all night. I hope they sing slipknot songs in Spanish. What if they say things to each other, let's go do something in the bathroom, now's a good time to dip out. Yeah. Or they can say anything right in front of me. He goes, yeah, he goes, you know what, he goes, it's getting a little late, I need my dick sucked before I head to the airport, so you might get out of here, but all in Spanish. Mommy, mommy. And I go, I go, romantic language, am I right guys? Hey, thanks for hanging out with my daughter. Get her home safe. And he's like, mm hmm. He's like Papa, my calling. Hey, Isabella,

did Montefos over here just call me a, you say your dad's a gay. What is that? Did he say the cat wears pajamas? Oh shit. I know we have to break. We have to take a break. There's a lot to drink in. We're definitely going. It's going to be fun now. It's going to be so fun. Max is going to learn a lot.