The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hairy Women (feat. Mike Vecchione)

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

Mike Vecchione joins the debate over women's body hair.

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly done! Everybody, our guest, joining us on the Bond Fire. And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Cali-Duh Everybody our guests joining us on the bonfire

Mike Vekio and you know, I'm in love. He's got a new hour special everyone the attractive is premiering on Friday, March 25th at 5 p.m. On the Nate Land YouTube page Mike's also going to be a comedy on state Madison with a great club. Great one. It's a great club. One of the best You have a girlfriend Mike stay away from no super sexy sisters that run that joint. Oh, they are hot sea monsters. And all the college girls who come in and out of there. No, it's not about that. It's about the sisters. The parents are hot, too.

The parents are hot, too. Yeah. Do they have hot parents? I mean, dude, they're just the greatest and the greatest family. It's a great family. They run a phenomenal club. They're the best club on the best clubs. That's March 23rd to the 25th

and side splitters in Tampa. Ooh, it's Bobby Kelly stomping grounds. Trying to get me over there. March 30th April 1st, get tickets at Mikeveckyone.com. I love Tampa. It's a super underrated town. Is it not? I don't think so anymore. I think that people I've always known that it's a comedy, holy shit, fun town, but everybody's starting to pick up on that I think it's a garbage place. Yeah, but that's what's great about it. It is. No exactly right. That's why I said I don't like I do way better Inland, California when you get to like the Ontario and those ones I actually enjoy very much because it's just a blue collar town happens to be in California Mm-hmm

And that's what I feel about that Tampa is. It's like the garbage my garbage part of Florida. And they love comedy. There's so much comedy there. Rock and wrestling. Rock and wrestling. And also, uh, Fatis Bannock girls wearing bikinis on the street. Yes, and guns. I also only go to eBor city, which I told is not a good gauge. No, I feel like I'm in a pit bull video. city, which I told us not a good gauge. No. I feel like I'm in a pit bull video. Yeah, you should. You should.

That place is not. That is like the two worst parts of a Tampa. Yeah. The meat. The butt. Yeah. During the day, it's all fat tourists and Scientologists. And then at night, it's just some rap video.

It's just, yeah. At night time, it becomes crazy and eBor city. But beautiful women also and attainable, weirdly attainable. Oh, yeah. You mean they're approachable? It's just yeah at night time it becomes crazy and he bought beautiful women also and attainable weirdly attainable Oh, yeah, I mean they're approachable. It's not like we're We mean for sure one tit is bigger than the other I mean by the time you're 40 you've had three skin cancers Yeah, so they are attainable. They know their time is precious Yeah, they did all the dick you get they're showing the C section there. It's definitely attainable I love us this area. Oh, yeah an A C section with maybe some flowers tattooed around it.

Yeah, the belly button looks like a flower with all the stretch marks coming off it. Oh, it's in any anonymity part of it's out. Some of it's any. It's going to be a good harvest. She has a belly button. Hernia. Oh my god. I'm able to see a sample mic. Would say I might be able to see my intampa. Are you going to be there? You run a Tampa. What'd you say? I might be able to see Mike in Tampa. Are you gonna be there? You can run on Tampa? What do you want on?

I have to go on. I am gonna take some out. Yeah, you're gonna do some wild chicken hunting. There's wild chickens. No, no, I couldn't do that. You're gonna go down for the... We have them as in our parents' backyard. I love them.

Wild chickens? Feed them. Did you name them? You can't touch them. You can't hurt them. You can't hurt them. They're legal to hurt the chickens Those ones in Tampa is that the big thing but they're

Terrifying and they're all over the place can't fuck with them. You can't hurt them, right? But you can you can kill their iguana. You can take it any iguana you want out. They want him to they encourage it Yeah, they're they kill everything. Yeah, Jacob. Is this your spring break? Is it your spring? It is my spring. There's a lot of wild stuff going on spring break wise. Oh, dude He goes to Lake Havasu and shoot iguanas he's go south beach just to kill the iguanas though I'm not gonna look at any boobs why does he kill the iguanas just to set the tone yeah let him know what's up yeah tell your friends put a couple in hooks Jacob loves Florida like so

I'm sure I'm sure you know I've so originally from Florida. Yeah, very original. Buck return the rich part. You probably wouldn't be allowed to go there. I brought up your I brought up your pop. Uh, make the pizzas. Yeah, it's always the meatballs that he was making particularly because I said it was exactly what you want when you walk into a townhouse. I did Stavros' pot. Sorry, Jesus Christ. That was thunder. Uh, I mother. I just saw Rose's podcast and he was talking about when you see a Greek person doing a Greek thing you want and I go, oh, that's that feeling when I walked into the Vecchio and Family House,

racial jokes and the dad just in the wife beater with the apron over it, just slapping that meatball back and forth and I'm like, this is gonna be a great day. And when we prayed, what happened when we prayed right before the meal? Well, because, you know, they invited a Jew into their home, which is like having a lion for dinner. And when they all, first of all, I started ripping.

I thought you were taking back when he said, bow your head. You bow your head, right? Bow your head. Neil before Zod, he said. But you keep your eyes on his dad, like a Japanese guy. No, well I like a dumbass.

Start ripping into my cow's own. And everybody does, like, all right, we're gonna say, and I was like, oh shit, now I know I have to go mouthful, like, you know, I'd like swallow a little bit I had. And then everybody's heads went down. And I just kind of was able to get Mike's attention while I was head was down.

And while they were thanking Jesus for this wonderful food, I was, as a Jewish guy Jewish guy going, kill them. He was doing the gun sign. He made the sign of the gun and was actively firing it into his plate, actively firing it. I love to, that's a far, long time. That was my favorite I always say. But I never told my parents I kept my mouth shut No, you're father because that's when you know it's really Italian when the dad cooks

Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, someone said I think stovar so that too he goes in a family like that Whether big Greek or just like an ethnic Italian Then they'll never have the mom cook for the important meals. The important meals I was like, get out of here. Dad, get out of here. What I'm doing now. You do armpits wet into this. Did your dad saw? He cooked the sauce.

So that means his mom sauce was better than your mom sauce. Probably. And that's when they're like, no, no, no, no. My mom sauce was ketchup with sugar. She had no idea what she was doing. She tried. God bless my Jewish mother for trying to assimilate as every way she could.

She's got the most Christmas spirit for a Jew. She's cranked out more half-catholic kids than anyone could possibly count. It's crazy. My dad's sauce was, oh wait. I didn't have a dad. I'm sorry. Tell me more about your family.

How did family night go? One of my favorite things from Mike's family's house, too, always is, Mike's got sibling that is sister and a brother. Yeah. And they have a wall of pictures at Mike's family's house when I went down there. And it was maybe a picture like, you'd see the other siblings in the background behind Mike, giving like a thumbs up on like picture day or something. But most of it was just pictures of Mike. And it was like a,

like a wall, a storied walkthrough of Mike busting through an offensive line as a football player. It was like the before snap and then the snap then Mike running, then on the other side Mike breaking through the hole. It was like the whole top of the wall. My brother playing the trumpet on the side. It was a small picture of my brother doing music.

And then a laminated wall outside of Mike's brother getting his diploma. Yeah, I guess that happened too. There's a photo of his dad around a barrel fire singing. Oh, take me back. Did your dad, I did have a, I did, I take it. I did have a step dad, Larry, very Italian. Okay.

And he cooked, he cooked all the food in the house. Nice. But he would always play Frank Sinatra. Yeah. Did your dad know it? We're a Dean Martin family. You know, love Dean Martin too, yeah. I remember he flipped out with YouTube when YouTube, I was like, dude, you can just search

any music. He's like, what? Because before that, he had to get records. Right, right. And I was like, no, no, no, this is YouTube. You just go search any music. He's like, what? Because before that, he had to get records. I was like, no, no, no, this YouTube. You just go Frank Sinatra and every he's like, I can have every Frank Sinatra son and he sat in front of the TV just playing old Dewop, Dean, Sammy, Sinatra for like 12 hours straight. That's the best. Yeah, he was the best. My dad had a jukebox. Really? Yeah, we brought a jukebox in before CDs. Yeah, Mike said also, I didn't realize what a gambler setup was

for televisions either. Like, Mike had this thing, took a big TV in the middle, and then like six little TVs coming to the side and go, what a moment. And he goes, oh, he watches every game and gambling. And he's all the horse racing game. It was like, it was like, a guy with a hat with a ticker. And I was just like, make this make sense.

Is your dad like that is like doing a sliver thing? Is he watching a, does he run out of a partner building? He watches all the people sleep together on? The lunch is dictated if he won or lost. Is he the peanut butter and jelly or cornish hens? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh,'re talking about, this is a toughy. This is Jacob Sennis of Thing the other day for the show. He's like, get ready to have your heart smashed into a thousand pieces, your childhood's destroyed, and I didn't even get to see right away what it was.

I didn't have a close eye on this. But Marissa Tomei has a video out of her doing her skincare care routine. Still beautiful. I feel all these years. The wrestler when she was naked, great scenes. I really still get it. And she was so cute and hot when she was young. Well, is it maybe with the monkey heart? Oh, yeah. I'm Tane Hart. No, I'm Tane Hart. I'm Tane Hart. I mean, Hart. That's a sleeper movie. That's the one of my favorite movies of all time with Christian Slater heart. I mean, heart. That's a sleeper movie. That's the right one. One of my favorite movies of all time with Christian Slater at the top of his game.

Was it a monkey art? Yes. Or was it that his heart was on the outside of his body? I think that's what it was. If I was going to guess, I'd go a baboon heart. I'd go baboon heart, too. I think maybe they had to get him a baboon heart, was where they were waiting for in the movie.

But I think his heart was on the outside of his body. Christine, Plotch,, uh, untamed heart. If you bring up the plot story of, uh, untamed heart, please Christian Slater vehicle. I'm the only. Jay. Could you have Christine? Yeah. Christine.

Anyone want untamed heart, you NTA, I'm. There it is. Uh, it's impossible not to cry during the end of this movie. I bet that's not true. 100% true. If you don't cry during this movie, you're not a human being. He dies peacefully on the way home from a hockey game. Ah, that is sad.

Can you go to the plot and not just the end, so I can find it about the Monkey Heart? Christine Keyword, and this would be monkey heart. Monkey heart. No, don't type in monkey hearts leading. It's a leading question. Plot. Plot. I had plot. Oh, my name is as the end Wikipedia right there. Why are you so bad at this? Plot. I literally had plot in the Google. What you brought up was the end. Caroline is a young woman, living in Minneapolis, where the gray club is, by the way, with those

two hot girls. She's a... No, that's wrong. Like I said, it's not that club. That's... That's Acme Comedy Club, another gray club. Hot girls? No.

Cute girls, though. A attainainable as Mike would say. Christine you have to scroll down for the plot. She is a beauty school student and part-time waitress at a diner. She works with her best friend Cindy and Adam, a bus boy, and dishwasher who keeps to himself. Right. Run night at work after Caroline's latest boyfriend breaks up with her. She and Cindy find themselves talking about Adam. Sydney confines that she thinks Adam is kind of cute and ads. I do

him if he wasn't so dumb. What a bitch. I know this sounds like walking home. Walking away. It's coming. They're mentioning about the heart yet. Walking home from work one night. Caroline is accosted by two men. Oh, yeah, who attempt to rape her. That's darker than I remember it being. Yeah, I don't remember the rape. Adam shows up with a monkey heart. It takes it out.

It doesn't say that. It doesn't say that for the record. Sorry, sorry. Adam shows up and fights them off with the power of a monkey heart. Bobby, sorry. I'm bleeding. Okay, I'm not bleeding. I'm not bleeding. I'm not bleeding. I'm not bleeding I'm leading. Okay, I'm not saying anything about monkey hearts.

I, it fights them off. I know. It is crazy. Help many too long paragraphs in. Yeah. The movie's called on Tamed Heart. Nothing about his heart at all. Yeah.

Let alone monkey and or otherwise. This is longer than the movie. Bobbie, if you would take us back to it, I'm going to be back into the universe. Yeah. All fights them off. Unbeknownst to Caroline, he has a monkey heart. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha almost raped he was eating bugs out of his sister's hair because now he has a monkey heart Caroline thanked him with hand gestures and sign language because he's a monkey Adam Adam love Adam love Caroline there it is Bobby where is it? Adam of have Caroline hard. Okay, here we go.

We'll go skip down to Caroline learns that he has a defect and will die without a transplant. Adam claiming that he has a baboon heart, leveling told to him by a nun at the orphanage where he grew up by the jungle where she found him. Refuses to him. Because he's a monkey boy. He's a monkey boy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh tries to assure Adam that love comes from your person's mind, not his stupid dumb monkey

heart, but she is deeply touched when Adam asked her why it hurts so much here. And he points to his chest when one heart is broken on his birthday. Caroline visits Adam and his apartment and surprised him. Take him to the Minneapolis North Star's hockey game, but Adam surprises her with flowers. He ripped out of a neighbor's yard like a monkey. And he had to kill that old lady when she came out and yelled at him. And he pounded on her chest and ripped her face off. He was shot by police when he was throwing feces at Caroline. He ate the neighbor's ear.

My monkey's eating my fried rice off. And a gift that left her for her, oh, I heard her to open and after they returned. At the game, Adam catches a stray hockey puck to the monkey head. And on the way home, Adam falls asleep next to Caroline. But when they reach his house, she discovers to her horror that his heart has given out and he had died in his sleep like an ape. Christine, type in the full question. Christine, look up the question.

After his true, he actually have, I think it was, he was told that at like an orphanage or something but he didn't have a lot of heart. Yeah, I think that says that, right? You're lovingly by a non-an orphanage. Yeah, he has a heart defect. So it's a storyline that he has a baboon heart and he doesn't want a heart transplant because he thinks it's gonna change his character. No, and now I think you're insulting Bobby's reading because you gathered nothing of what he was saying.

No, he thinks he has a baboon heart because he was raised like a doofus. He's from like an orphanage. An orphanage, and the nuns lied to him. And the nuns told me he had a baboon heart for whatever reason, that's what he believes. He actually just has a heart defect. And it was gonna happen, but I think

was it on the outside or something of his body? No, that's nothing that said that there. Dude, you can't have a heart on the outside of something of his body? No, nothing. That's nothing that said that there. Dude, you can't have a heart on the outside of your body. You think? No, you can't. On your sleeve. You can have it on your sleeve. Christine, look up someone's heart being born on the outside of your body.

You have to be a magician though. If you're a magician, you can have a heart on your sleeve. Hey now, hit a button though. Dude. I'm taking off today. Adam, Adam. Adam Schrinnerel at the zoo, Caroline goes to his apartment and opens a gift for her. A box of his record albums with a handwritten note declaring his love. And all those records, the monkeys.

I saw her face. They love a believer. Anyway, more so to me while let's give a look. Can I say this is the exact plot of Curious George goes to Canada. Oh, TJ Miller. Well, the long story short is while she's so worried about being with the guy who's clinically retarded who has a baboon heart. I'll tell you what else she's doing.

She's taking care of her skin. She's looking great for her age, but she has given up somewhere that I, and the room is split by the way. I won't tell him. I won't, but I'm saying the room is split on if they, some people in this room are starting to believe they enjoy this.

And I don't like hearing that at all. And if you could, Christine, please bring it up. Go to 140, Christine. When did it actually happen? 140 Christine when's it actually happened 140 no 150 well give us 130 give us 20 seconds she's beautiful right I made her hair I mean stunning slow down one of my all-time face stop slow down I know relax okay sorry everything's that serious everyone I mean listen good lord serious you're stunning whoa whoa whoa whoa no everyone except Marissa My body and wanted to take care of her so that's probably that started that relationship and relying on my body when I met

You bitch Probably when she was we are all with them. Did you see that Mike? Yes, I did did you see it? Mm-hmm. It froze you solid it did now Mike's an old school guy. Yeah, I got to tell you he likes He likes is a woman to bring him his paper and coffee and slippers in the morning Or she's gonna catch five across the chops. Yeah, he likes to make a girl flinch every once in a while He will not let a woman to vote, but he will listen to her thoughts as progressive for an Italian. As long as she gets him his coffee. As long as you get my coffee, you get bad water, whatever you want, babe. You got five minutes until the paper comes, then you're going to shut your trap. You're

going to shut your trap. I think I said four shots in this Americano. That is a gross problem to me. Mike, your thoughts? I don't know. I actually, now that I'm looking at it, she's so hot that I don't really actually have a problem with it. And you know why? Because he's a true Italian. And Italian, that's European. That is beautiful. And you know what? It's probably soft. But Mike, if she's Italian, how much longer for you to start letting her back hair grow back here? I want to tell you a problem with that. We're looking at Marissa Tome is doing a makeup video and she's so beautiful She's in her house, so maybe a spa probably your house because she's a millionaire and she put her arms up and she has full Arm pair armpit hair. Yeah, I mean it's in, it's not stubble. It is. This is not forgot for a day. This is my thing now. This is, she has armpit hair like, like a 13 year old boy. I mean, it's there. I don't mean, listen, I'm from a different

generation, I guess, the old 50s. I don't know why she doesn't get a slap for that. You don't believe in it, Jay? I don't, I don't get it at all. I think it's gross. Look at me, Jay. Look at my face. Look's been doing it for decades. Look at my face. Yeah. Love it. Do you like a stinky foot in a woman? Do you like that? Like, you dirty?

I do not. Just because you have hair on your armpits, doesn't mean you have a stinky armpit. Jay, what if she shades it into a landing strip? Would that be better for you? I hit my mustache, but you can't tell. She's floating. She says a little square under her armpit.

What statement is she making to you, Jay? You get your own paper. You get your own coffee. Is that how you're taking it? I'll tell you what it is. It tells me she's making it. Yeah, Jay. What type of woman do you want, Jay?

I'll tell you, it tells me she's married. She's stopped giving a shit. Not married. She's not married. Really? She's out there trying to catch dick with those pits. I don't think she's trying to catch dick. I think she's trying to be who she really is.

And you know what, you want me? I'm smoking hot. I am in my 50s. I'm still one of the top 10. And you know what? I'm gonna grow the hair on her mountain piss because I'm not gonna shave it. I'm gonna let it grow like a European back in the day.

I am woman, hear me roar. Right. How's that? And it's March 2, Jay. So choose your next words carefully. Yeah. It is women's awareness month and you need to be aware Ball in your court, Jay. I will tell you right now

I will go and I apologize Jim McClure for this when I'm supposed to be talking like this anymore, but I would go nuts deep on Marissa Tome. Jay. Yeah, Jay. Can you say it another way while my beans are bouncing off her bunghole better better if She that was better. I was better if she she happens to, which I assume she would yawn while I'm giving her everything I got and lift those arms up, I'm not stopping then. I make note of it and I go, I have to talk about that if I'm gonna be hanging around, but I wouldn't stop then.

If I met her and she was relaxing by a tree with her arms like they are right now and I saw that I Act like I dropped something when I got close enough to see that and then turn back around I'm like oh, I'm worse to me and I'd turn back around. I would fall asleep with my nose in her own pit It's gonna smell funky going like this. What a good day. Now that hair is picking up So I bet she uses she's like that other scuzz. What's the Shane lean woodley where they're like? Oh, no all you have to do is,

you know, rub fucking aluminum or something on your arm, yeah, and they're just gross hairy animals. Jay, she is that, look at, there's something about that, and I tell you this, yuck. I mean, that's it, can I say something about that? That's a choice, That's a different hair. That's a different, that's a little more. Nope.

No, the hair is not as soft as Marissa. Marissa's is soft. Look at Marissa's. That looks soft. You're a tactile texture. I think what Bobby's saying is quoft. Yeah, that's a little, that's a little, that's a little harder. That's a little rougher.

I don't like the texture. Well, this is a racial thing now, you know. No. I'm saying she's going to have a little whisperer hair than that Emily Radikowski's some sort of woman of something. You try to get me canceled. What's fun? No, no, no. You hate black armpit hair. I understand

you're saying. No, Bob, yeah, I think I get what you're saying. No, I understand it. I just got to talk. We listen. We almost got wet. We walked in oh shit I like it and you know what I had a girl a long time ago Who had armpit hair and I was a little freaked out by it at the beginning I was like oh Jesus and then by the end dude there's something about it that It's natural baby.

And it is weird for me as a person who likes pussy hair and I do. I really don't, I don't like it. Can I have another word instead of that? Please, can you? Another word. Puberty? No, something fun.

Oh. Oh. Oh, Bever. Bever is great. Bever is fun. And it was also a college for a long time. Ooh, what happened to you? They changed it. long time. Oh What happened to you at beaver college beaver college? Keep it up the kids couldn't concentrate in classes because they were laughing

They changed the name of beaver college. Yeah, they did they had to they called it the pussy college It's all come let you now I could cut you cut you I got a you. I got you. I got a U of Cunt. That's why, by the way, the funny ironically, the title underneath says when I met Lisa Bonay, we became really good friends. I guarantee you Lisa Bonay's got wolf and arm. Oh, a hundred percent. And I bet she does it because of her.

Probably. Yeah. Look at that. Back in the day, a lot of girls had it, man. Gross. Nope. I'm not okay with it girls didn't shave There aren't pit until 1957

Ew, why do you have that date exactly because it's a fact? It's a Bobby fact Look it up. We didn't put eggs in the fridge. It's all 72 That's my mom was born look at up 57. I guess that's why she's not a hairy wolf pig The subway when you come off West 4th and you're going up the whole, you know, they have those ads. Yeah. And they have all the ads.

I think I said the photo. Oh, you did. Yeah, I saw this. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pit hair. The girls, this is a thing now where women, because you're going to stand this, Jay, if everybody, if electricity went out today, and we had no more electricity at all and girls would stop shaving

Right say we didn't have water and electricity Mm-hmm, and we went back the apocalypse happens right every girl you know is going to grow facial hair No, all of our girlfriends are gonna have facial hair legs Wrong and armpit hair. Well, you wouldn't really notice because you'd be eating her. Inoperated hair. For liver.

Taste delicious. Where you get to breed her? What, you watch the walking dead, they're like models. Well, the one thing that survives, that's real. That's real. But if you're good at it, according to Christine,

this is becoming acceptable. I hate it. I just said, I'm not sexually myself. I'm not as grossed out by it as I used to be. I feel like I used to see it and I'd be like, oh, and now I see it. And I'm like, I don't know. Your conditions in Iran now.

Christine can ask you something. It's a media that you have. If we lost all electricity and everything, and we're in the pot, nothing. Bobby does dawn use exclusively an electric razor on her legs. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well,

well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, a girl. You're talking to the mother of my kid. I mean, I actually, I put just modded fluid in her anger. All right. I have a chat. All right. No, was disrespect. No disrespect. Tell you what I said. I don't know. I'm gonna tell you why I keep bringing up electricity. Yeah. Because I don't know why. Okay. I just keep saying it. Because it's fair. All right. Kristina. There's no electricity, no water. You do have a point in the fact that when things, when that kind of

stuff happens, like the buses didn't run because of a flood one time, things devolve very quickly. Very quickly. Very quickly. So what would you, and I'm only talking to you because you're the only woman in the room right now. Would you, like would your, would you change? Like would your, if you could,

I would have a unibrow and a mustache, a hundred percent. Then you'd be, then you'd be fighting zombies alone. Because I'll tell you this. I'd have to figure out, our minions used to burn hair off of them. I feel like I'd burn the hair off. Christine, I'd accept you going to a lake with a giant knife and just like crocodile done, D, and your armpits. Whatever it is, it's coming off.

Just you'd have to get a hatchet and shopper to the rock. You're acting like there's no razors in the apocalypse. They're still around. That's in the apocalypse, you're not gonna have them. You're gonna use them. I'm saying, okay, let me go into an abandoned drug store. They're all there. Jacob, I'll make this easier for you.

Ready? Six years into the apocalypse. There's still a way. I'm not making this. The racers are locked in that class thing. Six years in, there was already markets in the walking dead. I would have immediately learned how to thread. I would just figure out who knows how to thread.

First day of the apocalypse, but she's gonna put a beautician. I'm gonna worry her threading. She's gonna hook up with some Indian lady. She goes, hey, I think I can fashion a spear out of this. She goes, I can get rid of that Nancy little unibrow you got there I'll tell you what you want to fuck me that line's gonna be long Well, we're getting waxed. I have to stab a few zombie skulls first

But that's and then talk about the normalization of this kind of insanity Christine if you could bring up that The as an Amazon video is that what it is? It's an Amazon commercial, is that what it is? It's an Amazon commercial. Commercial. And this is nuts. This blew my mind.

You saw this already, right? You saw the commercial? I've seen it a couple times. Yeah, it's a thing now. This is traumatic, this one. This? It's a mood. Oh, buddy, it's a mood.

This is not this is become number this has become number one problem when I perch after fat victorious secret models on the posters. You're selling me a fantasy I thought. Not some girl I don't want to fuck in panties. Um, is, it's on prime. So it is a prime. How much it's a young girl in a room with I mean Definitely serial killer-esque wall art. She has no rhyme or reason to what she puts up on that wall It's all over the place. She's upside down. She's looking kind of gloomy And it's because she's looking in the mirror that she has braces. Natural thing that happens.

Yeah. Braces, if one of an adult wouldn't stop me from fucking an adult now. I don't give a shit. And then you know what I just noticed looking at this? Christine your thoughts, yes. Shame. I don't want to give away what it's about, but we see, she's in the shape of legs.

Yes, yes. Our legs are shaved. Yeah, yeah. Oh, she must have light hair on her legs. She's a young girl. But she must be a young Mexican girl, because she looks in the mirror, Christine play it. She looks in the mirror and sees in her light up mirror

that she has a big gap in her teeth and a crazy mustache. She has the belly of the kid mustache. And the unibrow. She's getting ready to wax it and do what we can only describe as solve a problem. She's already got the equipment to solve this problem. But instead she looks at a bobble head. It appears of Freddie Mercury Who's a gay icon, but make no mistake a man with a mustache. Well, she's got a space between her teeth She's she's got a big big space between it. David Letterman space and then so she looks at any Murphy because he's got a

Skate a space between his teeth. Yeah, then she looks at Frida For the unibrow and the mustache and then Freddie Mercury is a double down on the mustache. For the overbite, that's the overbite too. She has an overbite. Oh Jesus Christ. Yeah, this thing was made in a basement. This should be kept in a basement this way. How does she have an upstairs bedroom?

She should be thrown fish from a wizard. I do not agree with this one. I'm just from a wizard. I'm just from a wizard. I do not agree with this one. I gotta go feed the kid. Yeah! Take your fish. You gotta put a big glove on her. She goes, I show up, get your hands if you don't put your glove on her. You see a door on the floor just open her like you're evil dead.

Big lock. Go, go, go. Don't do this to the lock. Don't do this to the lock. Don a little dead. Big lock. Go go go. Go go go. Go go go. Go to the lock. Go to the lock. Uh, uh, uh, uh, it looks like Malcolm in the middle, they, they try to go trans. What happened?

It looks like Joe D'Arosa in Lenny Marcus, fucking had a baby. That's enough. So, so she's now fed a bunch of false conference from things that make no sense. I feel bad. Uh, I feel bad. So she's now fed a bunch of false conference from things that make no sense I feel bad the leader of a third world place any Murphy teeth and a gay mustache seems to be all in an over bite or she's like oh yeah, this all together Why couldn't she find all those things on one person? Well the thing is that she that's all the art in the walls Because she's been in that room since she was born They just throw paper and stuff in there.

That's for a to shit on in the corner. That would have been great. Like the after of this. Well, let's play the commercial so you can get the idea of it because she's Freddie Mercury bobble head and realize instead of waxing, which I have right here in the room, I should get a highly expensive replica of a Freddie Mercury jacket. Yeah. And issues. Then all of a sudden, she's full of confidence, awkwardly dancing through a

class which is clearly in session. And then you're like oh she must have got her shit together and then you just see that she put a bunch of makeup on. She's still tried to change the situation. She dressed it up but she goes. She should have been completely for this point to make sense. She should have been completely makeup free. She's going, she dressed it up. There's no shame more and putting on makeup than there is and getting ready for, you fucking musta. Let me are you for her. She gets to feel beautiful on her terms, Jay. That's not her terms. Her terms. No, why does she make up the musta? Make up is a choice.

You think she was sitting home, I can go go on like I wish I could just rock this thing I wish I just rock this mustache. I have a unit bro her pouch like look we'll let you out of that basement if you put lipstick on Behave yourself. I guess you're okay with this nonsense to ha Christine. Yeah Christine. What do you feel about this bullshit? Conflicted honestly why here we go I Conflicting honestly why are we here we go because it I'm for a boy. She's pretty cute If I had a fucking seven-year-old daughter and she had a mustache I would take care of it Like that's that's how I feel about it like you know, but like I would just do it like I would no problem That's what it is Bell's penis when she turns seven years old. I took care of it. I feel bad

I feel bad easy like It's just something. But would you check in with her and go look, do you want this mustache or do you not want it? I would probably just do it. I was going to be like, we're taking care of this. I would just absolutely do it. This is something where I'm just like, all right, you want to change.

We didn't ask for the first one or the first piece to two days old. We just did it. But what look cost things that you play on now? how fast he's playing. He's playing on now. What lacrosse seems to be so cool. I didn't ask him. He wanted his penis pierced at three. I just did it. Yeah.

Because you're a prince Albert. You're a prince, that's right. You're a man. It would be so cool to not have to do all this maintenance. You have to like squeeze eyebrows and wax legs and mustache and all that. It'd be so cool. But it's like, that's not the world we live in.

Yeah. I don't know if you're asking a mustache and a unibrow as a chick. It'd be so cool. It'd be great, but it's like, that's not the world we live in. Yeah. I don't know if the fuck I'm a satchin' in Unibrow is a chick. It's like, all right, come on, why? Like, you can just handle it. I didn't ask Isabelle if she wanted me to tweezer nipple hairs. I just do it. Yeah, because you're currently attacked.

Because she can't see them herself. It would be awesome if girls could just walk around without doing all this. That would be great if we could walk around with poop bags too. We could throw up. Yeah. It'd be all kinds of things. We very much that share we're making that way. Like it is so cool if shaving and waxing was like

never a thing and that was never a beauty standard. We never had to do it. Non-sense. You're saying it's crazy. And I'm telling you, I shave my, I put a sharp object by the most dangerous of places to a man would consider. And I do that for others.

That's so you don't have to choke on ball hair, Christine. Hey, hey, hey, hey, not ball hair. So you don't have to choke on testicle, pubic hair. No, no, I gotta do a funny one, you said. Goofy funny silly, make people laugh. Scoobies. Oh, yeah. But it is the time, what's in the time,

where you're in the way you is. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack.

It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack.

It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. It's an attack. You're not that Jacob's jealous because she has more mustache here than him Oh, she's fired body come on Jake I thought about this quite a while after the Merced amazing and the commercial and I thought to myself I Think I'd be a good dad and if I had a daughter I

Would shower her with love? I would I would try to raise her to be a Confident confident. Yeah, confident. I wanted to be proud of herself Maybe she's gonna become the next Alex Morgan the first president, but I would also tell her Unless you want to die a lonely spencer shave your shave your armpits you pig We went from 2020 to 1921 the toughest woman of the time. Sorry has to be said Jacob The toughest woman I've ever seen in my life miss Danielle Tiger Shulman No mustache no Unibrow. Yeah, I bet no Muff puff Is that good you can't throw it, your muff puff is great.

No, that's fantastic. That's fun for the family. Thank you. Everybody, come on, Lou. Muff puff. No, black who's not giving it up? You don't like it? You don't like it, muff puff?

He still puked that by the armpit hair and stuff like that. What do you think, Lou? Where's your chime on this? You really have that smell of hair like that because it holds smell and sweat. Yeah, especially all day. Agreed. Agreed. I said did it. The armpit, the hair is going to hold a different kind of stick. What about the

women that say you shave yours then? You shave yours. It holds. I used to. I used to shave my armpit hair. And then what happened when I was younger? I was a teenager. You realize you were gay? No, not at all. I had little, uh, because I have like little I guess when I was younger I don't know if it would happen now, but I used to have little fatties right here in my armpit What that if I didn't have hair there I'd get like rashes from like it rubbing so that's the only reason I stopped doing I did that anyway hair protected you from your fatties my hair It made a little slide for my fatties on my risotto, May and this little fucking he she has no excuse Why they look like that everyone has to groom men women

Yes, women want a man to be groomed in a certain way too Okay, I mean this is crazy that I mean Amazon just wants to look progressive. That's really what this is that's why hate about it almost Trying to look but they could carry less either way what happens. No somebody it somebody in that boardroom was like yo That's yeah, this is gonna endear us to the public either way what happens. No, somebody in that boardroom was like, yo, that's fucking true. This is gonna endear us to the public. 100% that girl, as soon as she filmed this commercial, shaved that right off. I promise you that is not,

she wouldn't even do, we can use my facial hair that is absolutely the gum, whatever that shit is. That looks really real. That's not, yeah. You think that's fake? Absolutely, I think it's fake. You can find out if it's fake. You think so?

Sure. Let's find out who this actress is. Well, I can just say that I think she should grow her nose hairs out. And really, yeah. So make it a whole fact. Yeah, do her air hair too. You know what, drink water after midnight and see what happens. Sometimes I have now that I'm getting older, I have little hairs growing out of my ears.

So my gross mess and should leave in shame, Jay. There's a thing you could buy at every single CVS that will take care of that in two seconds. I think this is who I am now. I got my hairier guy. I got my ears waxed and don't have a problem. I got them lasered. I mean, lasered, I got them lasered and they're gone forever.

And another thing, I made a Gremlin joke, nobody left. I was hurt my feelings. I said a Gremlin joke, nobody laughed. I was trying to get my joke. I said they should give her water after midnight. And see what happens. I didn't hear it. And I thought it was a good day. I didn't hear it. Thank you, Jacob.

I'm glad I brought it back up, but I got the laugh. It deserved. Well, here's a list I'd like to make. Let's name solutions for this girl's mustache that cost less than a Freddie Mercury leather jacket. Sure. Bleach for your mustache, tweezers, razors. I got one.

Scissors even. A big lighter. A big lighter. We handle this problem. That's society made you think that you needed to do that to your ears and nose. What? You saying society made you feel like you couldn't have ear hair? No, I accept this that you should just let your ear hair.

I couldn't have ear hair. I'll tell you why I wasn should just let your ear hair. I couldn't have ear hair. I'll tell you why I wasn't because I was on a plane and I woke up. There was a girl sitting next to me and I woke up and she was staring at it. Oh God. Oh, that hurts so much. That's her problem. And I know, but it was my problem. I also went into that when I was outside. You don't want that kind of girl. You want somebody like that? Yeah. I don't. I have a wife that didn't like it too. Like my wife, it was disgusting to her. I mean, she had to pluck my ear hair with tweezers before I went out for the weekend. It was getting to be a problem.

It was disgusting. I mean, she'd be like, wait, I thought she was going to limp brush me. Oh, I got to get some lint on you. She would get a tweezers and pick the hair out of my ears. So then for my birthday, she got me six sessions and dare to be bare. Okay. I still shout out.

Did you also get your dick hair turned into a heart? My hoo hoo. Oh, sorry. Your, your pecker wig? Yeah. Ha ha ha. This is so much better. I'm so glad we got a toss to it. So your wife. I'm so glad it's gonna make the show. your pecker wig. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Trapezi when someone starts laughing before they go in in tic tac toe because they don't take I mean it's almost like

I got you two ways now you know you to fuck that right mr. You know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know he's not saying we're on the same page but he's talking to me I am saying we're on the same page there's no good reason for your case I didn't know because I thought you were going to another route with it because it was almost like I don't have that video devil's ass for you oh okay I get you Michael little context and what's going on I'm sensing the tension

on the show Jacob rubbed his butt by the way, Ari has come and done deplorable things. There's also a video out of Ari right now that at some point maybe tomorrow on the show will go through Because Ari came and talked about it on skanks last night. There's a video called Ari Shafir that the most evil person is a documentary. I've watched it twice It's fucking awesome. It's a documentary. I've watched it twice. It's fucking awesome. It's a and he is documentary the most evil person in comedy and Watch it and you're like, oh my god. I hang out with the devil

He's a devil Is it really bad person? Yeah his best friend? His ears are pointy. You know, notice it. How long is it watch the documentary? 23 minutes I can't do that evil. Yeah, I'm? Watch the document. It's only 23 minutes. 23 minutes. I can't do that evil. Yeah, I'm gonna watch this tonight, for sure. It's unbelievable.

The most evil man in comedy. That's so great. I mean, this is going. Ari Shafir gets exposed. Does he get exposed? I feel like I need to break my silence. By the way, it says, Joe Rogan's best friend, by the way.

I love that. Did you see this is the girl in she absolutely does not rock a mustache. She's very very pretty very done up. I bet looking by the way her eyebrows are also done. Look her. No, her boyfriend is mustache. Who's that twink? By the way, she's hot. She's smoking hot. She's super hot. Mm-hmm. Yeah. She definitely grooms better. Okay. Let's smoke it. Let's take that back. Smoking hot was a lot there. I gotta be honest with you. Wow. Whatever she Okay, let's smoke and take that back smoking house a lot there I gotta be honest with you Wow Whatever she is let's just say she doesn't have a mustache. She's the important thing. Yeah, let's say

God damn it she needs help but Christine follow her reach okay now that's better She keeps her mouth closed and doesn't have armpit hair. It does make a big difference. If the sun is in near her face, it makes a really big difference. If it's a dark room and she has a different head, Christine followers. She's in the basement where she was raised, it's hot chick. Christine, follow her quick question, is that your real mustache in the video? See if she replies. Christine, give me a red mouth. I love her, you know, Barry Stock replies if you reach out to him.

So maybe we'll get her to She has minimal to no followers, so we're good Let's take a quick break everybody Mike Vekion's new special is coming out everyone. It's called the attractive The date Christine one of the funniest guys. I watched the special filming. It was my fucking finale He is fucking I mean one of the funniest guys walker right now, Vecchio is a killer. One of the great, I mean, one of the best joke writers and one of the funniest dude's why he always murders. Thank you guys.

Thank you for celebrating me. Yes, we celebrate you. Yeah, Mike, we still, to celebrate you right now. I celebrate my love for you. Mike and your special call, the attractor is coming up from you. I'm pretty much 25. It's on me. It's on the Nateland page Hell yeah, I got some YouTube page. I love that comics that a Big like Louis and Nate are Picking comics out and putting them out there and exposing not

Horting their fans I'll pay for it fans but don't curse on my youtube page you know she had that much and you can see that must action get you shit right all your pants up son get your hair done get it right it was so cool watching the director chair also watching both like i go back and forth

and see me like looking at the and i'm looking at niko and like he doesn't know what he's doing but he had one of those chairs that move go up in the air like Steven's? I really got to see he always had a camera thing with him. No, there was 13 cameras. One was the waffle house. Checking out. We just saw Nate sitting with his knees crossed like perfectly in these and just staring and me and Soda would walk in and just watch him do it and then I go you don't know

what you're looking for on these drivers there and he's like, nah, I knew it's, it's all looks good though. But, and then of course go to Mikeveckion.com for Ticket's Dolls Day. He's got comedy on State Madison coming up. March 23rd to the 25th, Side Splitters in Tampa, March 30th, April 1st.

And we'll be, oh, and of course, Mike Vekion investigates available on YouTube and iTunes, everybody. That's his podcast. We'll be right back. It's the Bonfire. Pretty much saying goodbye this point. for listening, that was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. near you. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I staked.