The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hanging with Kid Rock

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

The guys perform a comedy show in Nashville with Kid Rock. Find out what happens after!

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of The Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, The Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly. Oh, good. Top six melodic, if not out it. Oh, you know that is Bobby.

Top dog get down. You know that is singing that sweet music in your ears? That's our new friend Bobby. It's a new friend Bobby. It's a new friend Bobby. Hmm. Boom, boom, boom. Yatch. Straight from the rock band.

Oh, man. He really, he really bridged the gap from Wigart to country music star. He really did take out an album. 11. How did he do it? Nothing between. Not a slow transition.

A hard turn in the country music. Get your hair in a ponytail. Yeah, you know how to play the guitar. You move to Nashville. That's a lot of it. You buy a club. All of your friends were overalls and played the fiddle now. It's the bonfire. We're back. Nashville. It's mellow. Nashville.

Serious XM. Christine Hanna-Bobby had joined today. What a bad person. He reached for it. He's been trying to trick me for weeks now. And you let it happen. I've been testing you. I told you I was just just gonna end up handing it to you. She handed me a joint Turn it up blue Put your hands in the air and let's rock y'all put your hands up hot hip hop y'all So your hands in this hair here rock y'all Sarah, please don't hop Let's rock y'all Because the Detroit party don't stop okay, you go back down

Is this a B-Sider song I should know No, man, this is deep cut This is this is big J. Deep Cut. Yeah, tell you what last night was a deep cut. It was a deep cut. In the self-esteem. I did. Jacob, you'll be happy to hear. I did not great. In Rock Show. I brought up my lack of interest in politics right away and they really want you to have a side here. I did my pretty sick Holocaust joke which went over their heads. I think it turns out you need to believe the Holocaust happened for you to get that awesome Holocaust joke. And boy did I not read the audience. Everybody's wearing a flag and you went I don't vote

Was true and I was like and I would move their emotions I would be like I don't give a fuck Trump sucks like boom or your rules like yeah, they just go with me I'm like okay rules and like okay good Yeah, you know for the most part toothless hillbillies, but yeah, they didn't get it. At one point, there was lesbians in the audience that like cheered and I was like, are you guys here for the who gets to be kid rocks next drummer contest? Funny dude. And then, uh, and then, uh, a lady in the thing goes, uh, we love Stephanie. His drummer.

I'm like, okay. What are you? Yeah, I was just, I was just kidding man you go but we love Stephanie he goes okay oh yeah you go let me explain the joke yeah I go all over explain it Stephanie it is I guess appears to be a lesbian and therefore the lesbian is being here or maybe they're auditioning to be the next woman because they're all lesbians and you have a job. That was fun, he did. Bing-bang-boom.

Bing-bang-boom. Is that the thing? I thought you did great, man. You killed it last night. You're out of your mind. No, I mean, it wasn't bad. I was just like, there were just things that definitely like hit that don't hit.

They clammed up. They really did, but they enjoyed my training cans joke. That was home run. Home run, and my sheeher shirt was a bit of a hit. Kid Rock and showed youranny cans joke. That was home run, home run, and my she her shirt was a bit of a hit. Kid Rock enjoyed your training cans joke. I was watching him watch you. Yes. Kid Rock really enjoyed my show. I thought that was the one that was going to be the deciding factor if he's like, actually fuck this guy or not, but he liked it. He loved it. Yeah. It's good. He was, it was a good show. I liked it. That was a super fun show. He opened with music.

He did a song. Yeah. Not the song you wanted. I thought it was a super fun show. He opened with music. He did a song Yeah, not the song you wanted. I wanted to be ball with the ball Yeah, I wanted to scream if you don't like kid rock you could suck my dick It was something with a guy with a fiddle. Yeah, I'm far with a fiddle and then a guy with 17 harmonica's around his neck But can we say something before we even get back into the rest of the show It's kid that we talked about this last night is kid rock living his life or what though I mean you got to give the guy that give a shitter not about his politics guys live in his life so I love I love the fact he's having when somebody goes like this I'm just going to go enjoy my life yeah he came down here his house is literally

the replica of the White House yeah and. And he bought all the land. And the crazy land. Crazy land. And then he bought a club downtown, five levels, five levels downtown Nashville. Yep. The Kira Kaki, it just plays his music. Place his music. And one of the bars all the time. And he goes down there with his friends

on the fourth, fifth floor, whatever it was. And downstairs his packages, regular people coming into party. He's making money. He's the king. And he's having a great time and he's hanging out with a bunch of old honky-tongued moonshine. He seems to be respected by all the musicians down here, a ton. So there was like the guitar player from Disturb was there last night. Yeah, it was pretty wild. He really, I'm in that house. That's his house. I think so. I'm trying I found a better

Yeah, I'm impressed with That's funny. I'm I'm very much impressed with his like life what he just does It's just I don't even have to go there to know there's ATVs probably everywhere Yeah, some type of bass pond that he made something you you could, yeah, you could fish. You could fish real livestock. And he just stalks it with huge bass. Everyone feels awesome. Every time you catch a fish, it's like a 17 pound bass. And it's all over the place too. Like who's there and stuff.

Yeah, it really is. I tell you who's not there. It's like, hey, Travis Tritt and Donnell Rawlings. Let's go fishing. I'll tell you who's not there. Who? Oh, Bob K and Big J. Oh, yeah, we didn't get an invite actually.

He did enjoy the Joe Cover J. Cup about shooting Tranny cans at his house, but there was no offer made. Not that we didn't try. Well, here's what we did. Here's what, I was kind of disappointed, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

How so? Because I looked up to you in a certain way. Yeah. Oh, you saw me. We went to the party last night. We went to his party. I don't ask for pictures, though, which is great. Okay. I, well, I kind of fucked up. I took video, which was that we're jumping ahead. Yep. We're jumping too far ahead there. Was he? He was at the show. Was he MC? He hosted it. Well, he opened it with music. And then he sat down and watched the whole show. And we passed the mics to each other. And then he came back out the end

and then we all gave middle fingers to a camera. Yeah. It was awesome. I mean, it was awesome. I was a little disappointed. Yeah. Well, yeah, I was a little disappointed. Like I thought he was gonna bring us up and give you an intro

This next guy man, I don't know him, but I heard good things give it up. Yeah, give it up This guy man just lost the ton of weight. He was a fat fuck. Nope, none of that nothing just Chris Porter going like hey This next guy kind of no Robert Kelly then I went out Killed it after had a great set great. Then I went out, killed it. After how'd a great set? Great set. I had a great set, but then I hurt my feelings

to everyone's like, this crowd's stupid. I was like, well, they liked me. Yes, I'm dumb. They were like, Bobby's dumb jokes. But I thought he was going to come out. I thought he was going to be backstage with us. He had his own, he had his separate side. Yeah, he did that last year.

So we were on this side and he was on that side and then he sat on stage the whole time with his friends and just watched the show. But he wasn't even on stage like where people could see him like laughing at our jokes. He was hidden from the crowd. So you couldn't even comment about him or to him because nobody would know what the fuck you're talking about

So he was just watching you yeah from the side. Yeah, only you and like 15 people could see him Yeah, and I you know and then at the end he came out and it was he didn't even come up and say hey thanks Like lose you know you come out even David Letterman would come out and shake your hand Yeah, you mean come to each one of us. Hey, thanks for doing this. No, I walked by him. Yeah, anyways, go ahead. Yeah, this is wonderful. It's not wonderful. I heard my feelings.

Bobby, Bobby had, I mean, only what I can describe is 0 for 2 with Kid Rock. I mean, it was bad. I, Bobby's interactions with Kid Rock make it seem like maybe me and him do have a chance of being maybe going on a vacation together even. Um, because Bobby, when we go out on stage and by the way, Bobby, let me be the first person to say you did the right thing. Thank you for that. Okay. What you did next, thank you. Not only content for the show in humor ways, but also like it's what we should be doing. I'm an idiot for not taking my phone out and getting that moment for us and our social media and our fans. But I'm an influencer and you're not. That's fair enough for sure.

Bobby is, he's editing in his room. Look at Asian girl. Bobby's gonna still do makeup tutorials. I love it so much. Influencer Bobby. You guys can't see he's not on camera. He's wearing a cheetah print button down shirt today. Yeah, it's awesome Yeah, influencer. He's an influencer. I need to pop. I need to peacock on video tonight. Oh, dude fucking Bobby K And Bobby K Bobby K the influencer

Bobby K the influencer so Bobby in Oh, yeah In influencer fashion Bobby goes hey me and Jay are walking out here on the stage for the big, you know, good night. Sign off. And we all walk out together. And Bobby's filming it and filming. And then Bobby just goes along the line of everybody who lines up, uh, AJ Wilkerson, Jordan Jensen, he's going by, he films everyone's face going like, you know, and everyone's like smiling and clapping

with the crowd, and then he just gets, and Kid Rock turns around and to see that Bobby's filming and makes a face and turns back away. He doesn't, it's awkward as all Christ. You're so awkward. If you could see it, I lit I put my phone down like yeah Yeah, yeah, he definitely he I fucked Bobby in the dropping the phone Goes away because he was like what do you do? He had such a what are you doing face? Well, I found out later why?

Because he didn't know what the fuck you were doing. He said no photos. Oh really? There was a no photo rule To everybody even his friends no fucking photos. I'm not doing photos. Okay, so There was a no photo rule to everybody, even his friends, no fucking photos. I'm not doing photos. Okay, so you've already broken his rule. I didn't know the fucking rule. I didn't know either. I should have been communicating to us better. But in his mind, I broke the rule. Yeah, somebody didn't tell me not to take out. It was a secret lineup. And then we got there and they're like, Oh, it was a secret. They said, they said, we saw all these tickets and no new line up. I go, we've been announcing the lineup for weeks. I go, you guys got to be smarter about telling us these things.

Like, I don't know if they said it was a secret lineup, I would have never said. In fact, I even said because it wasn't on the line up. I said publicly, kid rock might not be there. I don't think that was a good sell either. He kind of wasn't. He kind of wasn't. I mean, just to be honest I saw him twice. He did last year he came back to the other green room before the show. He did a hell of a

He did that last year. He didn't do shit. They said he's on when I got when we got there He they go he's on the other side of the thing, but he was getting ready He said he was warming up to do the song what the song at the beginning. Yeah, dude I could have got a lot of vocal war because he was just doing those legs like, hunk of dunk of dude, a hunk of dunk of dude. Yeah, I could one of those. It wasn't like a getting the beating try to love someone. It was definitely like, yeah, it was definitely easy. Yeah, went down to a

place down the pond near my house. and there was Sarah saw her face and it was sad Fingerblasting in the shed This is great god damn it lose making me want to sing So is that reverb bar we get that echo. I took my fishing rod out and there she was again I went over to give her a kiss and she stopped me, saved with just friends. With just friends. Today I'm going fishing with three, six mafia and Willie Nelson.

Big J and Bobby Kelly ain't welcome to my house anymore. There's a sign. Bobby got his booted for sure. I'll tell you what. I thought though I go. Kid rocks got short memory. I'm gonna tell you something right now. I might have got us on the shit list. And you had the opportunity to get us on the good list.

And first of all, no wait, stop. I got us back in. I got us back in. I made the, I made the Balzie choice when we were leaving. Yeah. I said, let's do this. Yeah. We're going, we're going right now to say goodbye.

Thank you. And thank you. And I walked straight up to him and I said, Bobby, I did the old Boston. Yeah. Bobby, the old Mark, Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. Dude, Bobby, give me a kid.

I love it. And, and I was like, dude, we fuck. Hey, thank you. Hey, who me a kid. I love it. And I was like, dude, we fuck hey, thank you. Hey, I'm Rob. You call them Bobby every time, which you're supposed to do. I may have called them Bob Kid Rock, whatever's less Bob Richie. Bob Kid Rock Richie? If I didn't call him Bobby, I was calling him Chris Rock.

You know, it's yeah, you're not wrong i kept calling christ rock that we walked out there's what we walked out back and you're like you know that's bobby's son we're like oh bobby's son came out uh... he came out which i didn't know his son was uh... half black yeah i didn't know that so he walked out and i'm a kid but said it's not his name but she didn't

even named him rap rock would have been Rock wouldn't have been the best. Would that be the best name for your half black half white son of kid rock? If you need rap rock. Half rap, half rock. You're looking at the TV like they're going to go. What is there a bird flag around your house? Think about what I'm saying. Rap rock.

I'm looking for some knowledge and pieces of shit. We reflect on the show. You're fucking asshole. What are you thinking about your shopping list? Where are you? Black blue. Thank you. Rap rock is a? Where were you? Black Lou thank you. Rap rock's a great name for a half black half white kid. There's still time for you, Lou.

Next kid could be rap rock. Black Lou, there's still chance to name this next kid, rap rock. Just knocking around with a list of please, could you just mow it over at least, put it in the conversation. Yes. Okay, thank you.

Thank you. That's all you can ask for the I walked right up to him and I was like Bobby. Thank you so much. He is like, hey, I go on Robert Kelly He went archailey Anyone down that path any total story about a song you are Kelly and ludicrous yeah riddled with N words, but they were all quotes He would say this is what our Kellykelli said to me. Right. And then he would just, you know, lay it on us, which by the way, I'd be honest with you. I'd be long if I didn't say, I appreciate the not treating us like a child and saying, you know, I mean, it was like a world of adults here. But I didn't hear any of that.

Because you stepped out of it. You stepped in. Yeah. and then I got side-winder by The owner of Jimmy John's The owner of Jimmy John's enjoyed both of this which I had a resentment I had I had a bone to pick with that kid. I had a serious problem with that guy because he was responsible Yeah, for the last fat I was on when I reached 350 350 350, 55, maybe 360 at some points. Probably teetering somewhere around 370 really around at points, holiday season, maybe if you were rounding up forever, just call it even 380.

If I had shoes on and underwear, 100% yeah, we're pushing 385 if it's after dinner. I, at 2000, in 2000, between 2008, 2009, when I was in shape, I went to Cleveland, hilarities in the winter, suicidal, not selling well. Right. Five, six shows I had, and there was a Jimmy John's, across the street from the hotel. Jimmy John's, cross, yeah. And I went over there, got a number five.

Mm-hmm. And for the next four days, I got two number fives every day. Every day. I had one weight. Number five is a Italian sub on a whole grain roll. And I got extra oil. And I would go and I go, put oil on it. And then when you think that's enough, I want you to put more. And then when in your head going, this guy's a fucking nut. I want you to do more. And then when you go, salt and pepper, two a day. So after the show, I'd go back and eat another number five by myself. Late night. That was the beginning of my six fat beginning of the end that went on for years

until last year when I had I had to have most of my stomach taken out because of that Jimmy Jones number five. And I told him a bill. You know what he went, he goes, ah, make me feel good, number five's good. It's a good sandwich. Now I've turned on him. I thought it was good to be your best friends. Oh, I talked to him about this is freakishly fast delivery, which is freakishly fast.

Although also Jimmy John's ordering, me, it was one of the most, most stoned ever been in my life. It was the first time I smoked the legal weed in Denver at that altitude. Me and Mike Fenroyo were out there and we were not prepared for like the, even the altitude where we smoked this huge joint

and just sat in the room and didn't talk for a while and then we were like, we gotta get some food or something. Let's go get a, let's call Jimmy John's, Trusses Street. They do lettuce wraps. You heard me Sarah. And I do lettuce wraps. I can't speak for these two animals,

but I don't, I'm not gonna waste the carbs there. What we call Sarah yesterday? We didn't, oh, Skybitch. Oh yeah. That's your call sign, Skybitch. Skybitch. Yes, hello. Hi. You know that I would get through a fifth and over your way because I got to be honest with you. Jacob doesn't love it

I think it's great sticks sticks. He wants to be sticks. He does give it swirl for Sarah, dude Give her a swirl. Yeah, when he flies the jetty he brings sticks with them Check it. Get the goddamn thing going. Please. What? What? with him. Jacob, get the goddamn thing going. What? What? Uh-huh. Pressive. Okay, some Sarah's excited. She wore leather to cover her nips just now. I bet they tightened up Jacob. That was hot. Wow. Alright. That's hot. So yeah, he's enough. That's just what he does. A little something. He doesn't care.

Yeah. I don't like to take You put his drum pat on his lap right now. I don't like to take shit. I don't like to take shit Take shit But that Jimmy John guy took me out of the conversation for a while. Sure. Because we would deal with my little problem with him. Yeah. And then when I came back in, I looked at it and had nothing to give us for free, Jimmy John's at all. Well, they sold the company for $9 million.

$9 billion, it was something like $79 million. It was $9 billion. But he doesn't have, um, far, far, far, far, far, far. It was $50 billion. He doesn't give us. He doesn't give us. He doesn't give us. He doesn't give us.

He doesn't give us. Look it up. Look it up. Right now. You now. You don't think he has still some cards though, some free cards. Oh he's probably got like a gold card. Yeah. You just go in and just get anything you want once a day for the rest of your life. Whoa. Can I have one of those? Three billion. Well, I was close.

Three billion. Three billion. Yeah. He's a rich man. That's a lot different than nine million. He's the private equity firm. That's so weird. He's a rich man. That's a lot different than nine million to private equity firm That's so weird. He's a rich man rich man hanging out in the fourth floor with a dude in jeans and a Button down shirt and a hat, but he's like the most casual like you and think he was rich it all

Jimmy John I leave him a kid rock good guy fun guy. I mean, I would love to party with him. I'd love to go back to his house. Kid rock. No, Jimmy John, because you know he's got sandwiches and hookers. You know that. I bet his sandwiches rule. I bet he has a secret room. We should have brought one of the green room sandwiches and be like, look at this.

What do you think of this? Look, I'll thick that meat as a thing. I'm gonna really do. This is my second time in Nashville and it's gonna be my like 20th time in Austin and I've still never shot a gun and I Really want to go shoot a fucking gun. Let's go shoot guns in Austin. Do you hear the way she said that you should use that should get Around in a range. I really want to shoot a fucking gun. I mean it seems like it's so much fun in the art fun

Yeah, having an instrument to death in your hand All right, all right, I'll be like a field. I believe in war. What? Here's a problem what I love you get you read that gun and I'm gonna put a flower in the Put a flower in the barrel. She shoots it and just shoots out and it says bang Kidden Dude I looked over at you and you disappointed me because I you I went over babo started talking you came in swooped in Why just swoop I I came Or I said hey, I just want to say thank you for the thing and he goes

Jake come here. Yeah, he did say your name. Yeah, he knew my name, which was grab your name I stepped out went and had it out with Jimmy John. Yeah, you would you know I was I was talking to the coke head Definitely and I was and I I swoop back in and I'm like oh this is gonna be we're gonna we're getting the invite because they were talking and you were just telling him You're fucking moments That you had to his music. Oh, we're already this part of the story. I Another funny stuff that you did before this

Did you embarrass yourself before this one? No. I listen he called me over means he probably wanted to wrap a little bit and what Jacob? No this is at the bar as honky tongue. Yeah no this is at his bar. This is at his bar and a night we both did the show we both killed it after the show for a floor part private party we walk up Bob oh and then he looks at J goes J Camille brings J over and I'm like okay I leave to let them connect because I know he's gonna connect because he's a you know he knows all his music he knows all the stuff I can't listen to stuff I don't know I know two of his songs bang the the bang and the other one. Let's call it ball with the ball. Thanks.

Show some respect, dude. And then, sorry. And then I come back into the conversation. I got a picture of it. I got a picture. I took a picture of it. His face, you disgusted me last night. I should have.

I mean, you were just, what was the story you were telling him? I would have hated watching you do it too. I went over and I write, laid them all on them. You did. Did he really? Yeah, he did. Christine. Yeah, he did.

Little J, little boy J. Just got nervous and didn't stop talking. Little I'm going to tinkle my pants, J. Here's the thing. He was like, he's a personality of a guy who, I am good at reading at least. If he would have been like, this is weird. He was like, everything I was saying, he was like telling a story from legit.

But you're right, Bob, you're gonna show me the picture and I know. I know. Oh. Oh, is that me happy? That you just, I've never seen this fucking face. This is the same face that came at the Christmas story had when he got to the top. Here, let me show it to the camera.

At the Christmas story had when he got to the top of the slide in Santa was there, and then he froze. Let me show it to the camera. Oh, my, I'm gonna send it to you right now. Send it to me so I can post it. Ugh. I mean, that's regular J. That's right, that's not big J. Ocusen, that's regular J from Philly.

That's Jason. That's Jason. That's Jason. That's little J.J. Jason from Philly, all right. I'm sending this to you right now. I don't want it. Well, I think the first thing I told him was that we actually met years ago backstage when he played with Error Smith

and run DMC. And I was talking to him and he had to excuse himself very quickly. I thought was weird but it was because he had to run out and be part of the song with run DMC the king of rock and then And then I was like yeah, they started they already started doing like I'm the king of rock There is none higher and then he was like oh yeah, and I was like I won't stop rock until I read time and he did that And I was like we just bonded there And I was like you know the first time I saw you I only knew like the The radio hit and you're on summer set it's here. You keep going don't stop

Keep going we you were on summer senators were that one time And then I interrupted myself there I go. Oh also I saw you at Sturgis because I was at Sturgis doing a TV show for Country music television And he was like he's like oh man Sturgis rules and then uh and then I was like summer sanitarium tour in like 1999 it was he was like oh Metallica I was like Metallica and That was like corn power man 5,000. He goes system of it down I was like yep. Yep. Yep,. I was like yup yup yup and I go And you came out there and I didn't know any of your stuff and just

You play every year some of the stage dude. It was so cool and then he told me a story about Bobby put your headphones on put your headphones on Where you going? Bobby come back Bobby come back You know why he's leaving you know why is leaving gang? Let me tell you guys why he's leaving I'm looking right to the camera to my crew here. I'm gonna have Bobby left because I'm fine telling the story quite honestly because Bobby Comes back to save the day and eats the final shit of the night My god did I make no mistake Bobby took care of all this for me. Kid Rocks telling me private stories from backstage at summer sanitary

with him in system of a down I won't even share with you because it was a moment between me and him. It was an amazing moment and I found it to be my time to go hey you know I'm gonna get out of here. Then Bobby goes, oh, let's get a picture. Yeah. Let's get some pictures, which I wouldn't have done. So I was happy because I do want that picture and we got some pictures with Kid Rock. You got a picture.

And you turn back into Big J. Ocarson, by the way, in the picture. Thank God. Thank you. You went from Jason, little Jason. That's Big J. Back to Big J. Okay, nice, good.

And then I, and then I was like, you know what, we had a cool back and forth. Look, I found over a little bit, a little bit of a drool, but like, you know, oh, also before I left, I, I didn't think I was doing this, but when she explained it, I got, you know, I got to give her her due, you know, I like to give Christine her due when she deserves it. I called, pulled Christine over and I said, oh, by the way, you met last year because my girlfriend Christine and I go, I turned her into a big fan,

which is two things, wanna complete lie, two. She goes, well, if you're gonna say I'm a fan, just say I'm a fan. Don't tell my maid you, as if I didn't like him at one point. As a shit thing to do. I didn't read it to you. I was saying like she was unaware.

No, he took it that way too. He was immediately like, oh, your girlfriend probably like, oh, kid, right? It's not good to say to the person. I'm like, I can't wait to see him like that. Me and Jim Norton met Billy Joe backstage when he was Billy Joe and Elton John would do it and Elton would go out and Billy would go out

and then Elton would go out. So we were Elton was out and we were backstage with Billy Joe. And Norton went, yeah man, you're really good this summer to great time. I'm really not into this type of music, I like Aussie, but this is, you know, I really had a good time tonight. Wow.

Two Billy Joe's face. Wow, that's fucking weird, man. Come on, Jim, that's enough. That's weird. Yeah, and then I went down and I was patting Billy Joe's little dog and I kept going, ah, I love this. I got a little dog too. And nothing. And I kept repeating. I got a little dog too. Oh, you wanted to see if he, oh, wow. I said it four times. I went, I have a little dog too. And then Norton went, and I got back up. I normally like Aussie, but this was fine.

You're cool, Billy Joel. Hey, you know what? I mean, the time went faster than I thought it was going to. God damn it, man. Tower. God damn it. Well, so, so I bring over Christine. I go, hey, she's not really a big fan. And then I, uh, I want to go outside and smoke. We've been up there for a little bit. So I want to go outside and smoke cigarette. So I start going down the

Winding stairs like a tower of terror. I mean Throw an escalator system. Maybe an elevator in that bitch. Yeah, that place is not Except where there are two elevators like right next to the stairs. I don't know if they were only for equipment though Fuck you five floors. I pulled a hammy at the Stigid party. I was doing good for so many sets of stairs that I was like, I'm not even gonna be breathing heavy when we get up here. And then it went beyond where I was like,

yo, I'm actually like, dragon. It was at the end. Yeah, it was no fun. And then, well, you said you're gonna buy it. So I said, and I was like, you know what, I'm getting out on that. That was a good back and forth. Did we get invited?

No. I did say a thing where I was like, actually, I, I'm getting out on that. That was a good back and forth. Did we get invited? No. I did say a thing where I was like, actually, I didn't, I didn't get it out. Three times I went, Nate Bargazzi said, Nate Bargazzi, the next time that we come out, we gotta, Nate Barg, I was like, I'm gonna take off. And then I went to go smoke. I thought you guys were right behind me.

Realized about 17 flights down. You weren't, but I assumed you were on your way. So you got caught. You just turned back to say I was like, I was like, it was so great to see you perform tonight. I still haven't had a chance to see that. You went back, you waited for me to get out the door and downstairs and you went back to go fawn over him.

Christine will leave me for Kid Rock in a second. She was the hunt black people in ATVs. I don't think that's what he does, Jay. Now it's not, but it's funny to say it is. I went as the sons have black. I went after Christine. I saw it. I went up to him and I was like,

Brad, I was a go-to, great meeting you, man. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Let me step away and I'm gonna turn my mic away. So I'm interrupting too much of the beginning. I'm out of the room. Christine fones over him without me. Slides are number probably. And, uh, and then Bobby has this situation. Bobby, please the floor.

Well, I'm gonna say goodbye to him. Sorry, walk up and I go, Bobby, great meeting you. He's like, yeah, you two, man. And I see a guy comes up to him with a cigar. And I know exactly what it is. It's a very unique cigar. You have to know cigars. It's a, a, a, a, a, a, Fuente, a little short. Forty-sciort. Short. Yeah. So it's a, it's a, it's a very unique cigar. It's a very small cigar. And I know exactly what it is. And as soon as I see it, I'm like cigars, my way in. You were about to, this is great.

And I have one of my favorite cigars in my bag. It's called the Cadwell Long Live the King. I was gonna smoke that last night. I was very excited. I brought one with me. It's nice expensive cigar, yeah. It's a hard cigar to get. It's a celebration cigar for sure.

I don't give these cigars out. This is my cigar, but one for me, because they're hard to find. Celebrate Kid Rock Show. And I was gonna say, of course. So I had it in my bag and I go, yo, and I was trying to, I was unzipping my bag, but unzipping every wrong pocket. So I'm standing in front of Chris Rock, just unzipping my bag. But what appears to be to him, probably a fanny pack.

It like a pocketbook, yes. It's on my chest. And you're opening up several pockets like you're gonna pull out mountain climbing equipment So now that's my bungee. I'm standing too close. I'm standing goodbye close Oh, that's my snoring lip tape That's my hostage I did Storing mouth tape. It's a story about that. That's a banana from later. There's a protein cookie.

So I'm taking all this shit out. I finally find it. And he's, I'm just standing too close to be going through my pocketbook in front of him. Yeah. Fitching. Fitching. Like I already said goodbye and I haven't left them

just going through my purse. And I finally, Yes, kid rock, you should say is not aware that you have been like, you're still preparing like, I'm about to make this connection. I need my prop first. I am about to give you,

I'm gonna honor you with my cigar. Now we're cigar brothers. Yeah. And is there a code of that? So someone gives you a nice, you're like, you're my guy. 100%. He has a Fuente short story they're called.

It's a great cigar. I know what it is. So I'm going to say, hey dude, I'm going to talk about that cigar, but I'm going to hand him my cigar. And I said, yo bro, and I take it out and I put it in front of him like he's going to know what it is. Like it's a golden ticket. Yeah.

And I go, here's this for you, man. And he went, nah man, I'm good. I go, nah dude for you man. And he went, nah man, I'm good. I go now dude, you can take this. I go this is a Cadwell, a codwell long live the king man, my favorite cigar, one of my favorite cigars. He goes, I'm not gonna take that from you man because I won't smoke it. I only smoke these.

I smoke around three of them a day. It's a problem. This is the only cigar I ever smoke. They've went to short stories. I go, yeah, I know those. I love those. I get those too. They're a great cigar. I go, yeah, I know those, I love those, I get those too, I, they're great cigar. He goes, yeah, it's a problem.

I go, yeah, I go, I got 700 cigars at home. He goes, what? I go, I got, I got 700, he goes, man, wow. That, that, that, that, we're giving you too much money. I don't even know what that meant. And then he goes, he goes, all right. And he turns and walks away and I'm holding a cigar no it gets worse one of his cronies saw me yeah what this is the only one

I have one of them even Jimmy John is just like a fiddle guy what is this one of his food comes over and goes hey, you got an extra one of those? And I went, yeah. And he just took it. He took my cigar and left. And then you guys were gone. You guys were gone. You left me. So now I don't know where to go. So I have to, I walk that way. And then you go, we're going out there, I walk by him again. Oh. Oh. And then you're going through all your pockets, trying to put your cigar away.

I had to zip my purse back up. You're pocketbook. You're pocketbook. And then I had to walk down that lonely 50 flight of stairs by myself. Oh, there's so many flights. I got locked out of going back in from the door, so I was waiting for you to come out and then you just like never came out

Eventually went downstairs and you know, I was right when you called me you're like I Wanted to call dawn because I just felt that's right Bobby came out the other entrance He walked all the way back to the club again. It was right next to him. You could dip down. I didn't know dude I thought you watched me you were too wrapped up know, dude. I was, I thought you watched me. You were too wrapped up in your cigar and spiel. I was shook. I was shook. That's the dude that haven't turned, he goes,

he goes, no, I don't want it. He goes, no dude, I'm definitely not gonna smoke that, dude. I only smoke these. And then I went, oh yeah. Oh yeah, the Fuego short stacks, right? It's the old short Fuego stacks. And he's like, yeah. But you know what?

Yeah. Here's the thing, when somebody offers you a. But you know what? Here's the thing. When somebody offers you a cigar, you know what the thing is? You say, you say, dude, I'm good. I don't want that. Why don't you try one of these? He didn't do that. Getting the mix.

No, he goes, I don't want to be cigar friends with you. It's just saying thank you and take it. I don't know. That's what you do. You just say thank you and you take it. But if you are cigar, I don't smoke cigars. I've accepted everyone I've been given for the most part Thank you. It is the right thing to do it to you. I'll give it to you. I'll give it to whoever or not. I'll just have it

Yeah It's not like I was like hey, dude. I got this little pile of catch it. I carry around try this Take it and then as soon as you leave you like Amy want this by the way when you were telling that I want you know Sarah was uncomfortable. She was like covering her mouth like this when you were saying like whoa what a nerd Sky bitch What was it again? Sky bitch. Yeah, if she was a still flight attendant. Hey, hey, she's pilot does that does that does that make you Squirm when you hear that story? I mean, yeah.

He should have took it, right? He should have taken it. He should have just the best thing to do with that situation is say, hey, thanks. Thanks. How many call tonight? He definitely shouldn't have said we're paying you too much. Somebody call Greg Barrett and tell him we got a new chapter

if he's just not that into you. It hurt. He's just, there you go. no, I don't want your thing. And I said, this is my favorite. They never talk to you more probably. This is my favorite cigar. This is my favorite cigar. My favorite.

I'm honoring you with this. I'm honoring you with a long live the king. It's a beautiful looking cigar. In fact, and if this is, if I'm remembering wrong, correct me, I feel like you told me you also said, the lie was, I brought an extra one of these, because you didn't want him to feel like he was taking your last one.

So he didn't even think he was like, oh, I'm not going to take that. That's your favorite. He was just like, no, you keep your extra. I don't want to spend any more time with you. I'm going to say something to you right now, Jay. Yeah. I did tell you that in confidence.

Oh, okay. But enjoy. Enjoy that Jay. Yeah. I did tell you that in confidence. Oh, okay. But enjoy. Enjoy that part. I didn't realize I was I mean, I don't know how far we have to hide and said it was an extra, but it was the only one he brought from himself. Wow. I mean, so he, so it actually does make it worse because they didn't want his extra. He's like, if I don't give it to you, I'm probably just going to this in the trash garbage And it's pretty expensive you might want to take it he goes now throw it out. I'd rather a bum have it Give it to a bum. That's what I think of it now. I'm gonna go fucking I'm gonna go shoot guns with Jimmy John I guarantee that kid who took this cigar took two puffs and just left it somewhere. Yeah. Oh, this is my thing

Two hit two two woodsy so man I don't know what cigar things are also. Why was that guy so comfortable asking you? It's like obviously you were offering it to kid rock everybody then did you see the aggressive people walking up to the table to talk They're and all of them are like some weird like we live in Florida blah blah blah I know a guy who cooks for kid rock twice a week in Florida when he's in Florida and He's like, except for me and Bobby, it seems like everyone he needs, he goes, come live at my place in Nashville for a while and let's shoot deer.

I actually said to him, I go, do me and Jay want to go shoot at your house. Let's go. He did say it. He did say it to him. And yes, and he went, how? Donnell Rolling has been there Why does he not like you guys? I don't know I don't understand it. Don't get it Sky bitch, do you get it? You know, I think it's like Joe Rogan with me. I think alpha dog sees alpha dog And he doesn't know how to deal it

Do I get it? Yeah, I don't think I get it. No, you see it in us, right? You feel it of course I like you guys more and J than me, but I get it. No, you see it in us, right? You feel it? Of course. I like you guys. More in J than me, but I get it. Both of us kind of, right? I've known you guys for like 24 hours. You're great people. Thank you. Would you advice over to your White House replica and let us shoot eight shoot guns and Roddy TVs? Yeah, if I had one, don't make it up for that. I might wish. You definitely have a White House in the hamster.

No comment. Hey, yeah, it is. I said to his face. I forgot to., yeah, I said to his face, I said, I forgot, he flat out did ask him, we want to go shoot guns at your house. Let's go. We heard it's the thing. Yeah. Oh, and then we drive home with Josh Wolf,

who casually says he goes, we told him we wanted to go shoot guns. And he goes, oh, you haven't been there yet. It's the best dude hanging out at his house. He's wild over there. You never know who's there. It's like Ted Nuget comes over. Then we got to like, he imported a gorilla.

We all got to fight. Like it's just insane shit. And you're like, I want to do that. We actually said to Josh, we go, hey dude, do you have his number? He goes, yep. Yep. Yeah.

It's Nate, Nate's the way in. And I was like, yeah. Bobby, and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby made a joke. I want to explain this here what that is so bad. Hey, Josh, do you have his number? It's like, yeah. Yup.

Bobby was making a joke that he had his number. And I was like, no, you don't, and Bobby had to eventually be like, no, I didn't get his number. And then when we asked Josh, well, if he was like, yeah, and he meant it. He's like, yeah, I guess number. He also lived here, but he didn't want to, he didn't want to hook it. We go hook it up.

We said hook it up and he kept making, he kept making up a fake joke thing he would write. He's like, yeah, I'll say, Jay and Bob, what I do this, that you're, and we kept going, no, seriously, call him him we want to go shoot guns I think you want to get food with us and I think he went up to his room Josh wolf when we got back to the hotel instead of getting food Did I have the conversation anymore was he at our hotel? Yeah, oh that place you bought me food last night listen bro

I love you both you I really do I enjoy being on the road. We have fun Don't do this. Don't do what you're about to do. Jay. Jay. Jay. I gotta do it. This is what you're saying is gonna be not true. What's not true? The fucking place you took me last night. It was prison food. No, no, that's crazy. It was prison food. Did you try the cheese bites? No. Well, I did not try the cheese bites, but I did.

I got a hamburger quesadilla and a chicken quesadilla. Sure. I don't know what was in the quesadilla. You mean, I never heard of the hamburger quesadilla. You ordered that. You ordered that so it seems like a ridiculous order when you made it. Well, why don't you stop me?

I don't know. I told you you had the grilled chicken sandwich. The what? We did say, get the grilled chicken sandwich. I was like, get the grilled chicken sandwich. I got the chicken sandwich, it was really good. Well, you could have stopped me. Yeah, I was probably should have.

You see me, you wanted the case, you've very, you're like, I'm doing that, two case of days. And then when they gave you two chicken case of days, you go, get your stupid ass back in there, and make me achieve your case. You know, they gave me four case of days. Did they end up putting another one in that relic?

We just threw two, came, or, yeah, I just threw a minute back. Sorry. This is man, first of all, the case of day, it was gabbosh. I could only assume. It was garbage, it was like, it was terrible. Floppy, it was floppy. Yeah. It was like it was terrible floppy was floppy Yeah, wasn't crispy it like they threw it a microwave they wrapped it in tin foil and then they put fries in it

crispy Yes Fried on the stove She's on the outside Flops a little bit like a piece of soil. Are you mentally ill? I mean, I don't even think of it. I don't even think if I'm wrong about this, it would help qualifies mentally ill.

Yeah, well, I mean, I'm not really... Are you out of your fucking mind? You go things so. I'm going even admit that maybe I'm wrong about this. Dude, our case idea is crispy. That's what makes it, that's what casea means, crispy. In Spanish. Casea, dear Dia cheese.

Kesa's cheese, Bobby. I mean, the Kesa was the cheese and the Dia is the crispy. I made it. I have dyslexia. I got a headache for you just said. My eyes both went out. Oh, God. Sarah just took a jacket off.

We had a very lovely breakfast today. It was just a late. That's what we had. Look at breakfast was off the chart, but the lady hated me when I showed up. Why? I don't know. I don't know. Why are we not at Cricks Rock's house right now?

I mean, I don't know. I made a lot of fun on Beat Up by Will Smith. You mean Kid Rock. Yeah, that's right. Would I have a better chance with Cricks Rock? Bobby. Yeah, Kid Rock. Yeah, that's not what I have a better chance with Chris Rock. Bobby. Kid Rock, Brian, well, Chris, Chris Rock probably has been a little more time with us. Oh, my God.

So I tell him like, yeah, I remember when you were a little penny. I really Chris Farley show him immediately. Remember when you did that thing. That was cool. Remember the Chris Rock show. That was awesome. You know, Louis. Hey, you know, Louis, you know, Louis and I know him too, sort of.

Yeah. That was great. Did you get a lot? Did you get Louis. You know Louis and I know him too sort of. Yeah, that was great. Did you get a mall? Did you get Louis and Nick DePaul over all X's? That's cool. That's awesome. That's really awesome. Um, dude, that place last night was the worst. I went back to my room and I I threw up before I threw up. Was that mean? That means I chewed the food. You three combs throughout. It was in my throat. I started coming out a little bit I it was in my throat and I I Anaconda to back up and spit it into the toilet really yeah, I'm gonna wink at you before you put it down Like the movie Anaconda

Oh, that was the worst the worst thing in movie movie history that was all my sake of you remember that right? When the anaconda spits up. Oh The anaconda spit someone bring it up the anaconda spits up. What's his name? John Voight now and then he winks He's still alive and still has a general sense of sarcasm Which is pretty good for you die You gotta get them video Yeah, Christine.

That was awful. That was almost as bad as John Malkovich in Conair when he went, Sia, Nara. Remember the guy yelled, he was, Sia, his name was Sia, he was, Sia, and he went, Nara. Oh no, he went, Oh Nara. Do you remember that? No, but I did.

He flipped the cigarette and he lit him on fire. He went sigh Oh Nara. Oh Nara. Let me went oh Nara That was it right there Spit him up spit him up. We're looking at the anaconda the movie they just grabbed the big steak the second big snake right wasn't it too And he just ate John Voight. And he's got Jennifer Lopez's butt. He can't get her butt down her throat. So he spit her back up.

This is so funny. Nothing, nothing, nothing, Sarah. Most too big. Wow, it's too choppy, but he winks. Sarah, take my word for you, wank right there. There's a whole mess in my face. J-Lo, this was the height of her, like, newfound face. These ones, you're still Puerto Rican.

Oh yeah, what does she know, you think? White? I don't know, I should have been a little bit more. More Puerto Rican than ever now, I don't know She's more Puerto Rican than ever now I think She's back to Puerto Rican Yeah, she's super Puerto Rican But now she's like older Puerto Rican Where she wants to sing slow spanner songs and shit

Ben Affleck Do you know what's funny? I didn't have it Did you know this Jacob? I watched the new is SNLS Did you know Anadir Armas is Hispanic? She's a Cuban who? The one that Ben Affleck was bit before I didn't know she was she was I thought she was like super white I didn't know she played she played Maryland she played Maryland Monroe in a in that new movie She's beautiful roskers wasn't she on isn she on, isn't she, you know, like a Bond movie

to her something in my crazy way? I don't know, you can see her naked. I mean, Sarah, if you were wondering, you can see her naked. We won't do that now. In our, for your back in New York studio, we'd look at pictures of her naked right now because you can, but we're not,

because of you, I want you to know how much we respect you. Thank you. We respect you, Skybitch. Thank you. Yeah. Skybitch, you're the shit. Ha, ha, ha,itch. You're the shit. You know, Lou, Lou got me into Jennifer Lopez movies now until he said that he he watched every one of them. I never watched one in my life. Who DJ Lou?

Yeah. Your fan and made him and I watched the latest, the latest movie that you know our parents don't like her because she's dating a white guy, just like he says, or don't like the guy. She gets married on an island, and whackingness and soos. Yeah, DJ Lou. And you know what? I loved it. Lou converted me. She gets into a lot of trouble because she's Spanish, and then it all works out and she

gets the guy in the end. No, Lou, listen, stop trying to make Jacob think he likes these movies. Just because if you don't watch them, your girlfriend hits you. You're Latino girlfriend hits you in the face. Why you know why? Why you know what? I know what was it. Lou, you better watch my Jelos movies with me.

It's time to rub my feet and watch my Jelos. Lou, get the case on and deep in, bring it out here. Bring out me at Kris quesadilla. The D.I. is the cheese, and the quesadilla is the crispy. Luke, get up, dance with me now, papi. Oh. Luke, why you not dancing? Get up and dance, papi music.

Cut the music, bad leader. Why you not dancing, Luke? You better dance. My family's coming over for barbecues. That's it movie octos Yes, shake your fucking ass shake that perfect round drum Yeah, I can't be like JLo movies check out what's the sexiest JLo movie ever Lou JLo movie what's the sexiest JLo movie ever low hustlers Lou yeah, did you know what's the sexiest JLo movie what the one that Jay's in hustlers? I don't know I'll tell you right now you turn

Yeah, she get one but she gets she gets she gets fucked She gets fuck really titties and money train. She was pretty hot in money train, but that was her coming out party. They were still making her like a dialed back like, like, oh, when you took the uniform off or she actually is really hot. It was like one of those dumb cells, like she wasn't pretty before.

You turn was close to porn. Who was she with in there, Bob? That was, who was, who was banging on the train? And he couldn't, she was so hot that came uh prematurely pen wasn't it pen no I think it's pretty harrylson maybe yeah maybe yeah maybe maybe can you bring it up you turn a J-Lo getting banged Sarah could you keep the ballin down a little bit lower so

the guys can talk over it yeah he couldn't she was so hot he couldn't take it and it came yeah right away. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh, Oh, so good that movie what one of the hottest movies. Oh my god. This pure porn on the screen right now. Is it really? But yeah, it was an ad where we don't have an X videos account. We're so the ad life. Okay. It's Sean Penn. play the mute. Oh Sean Penn. Yes, Sean Penn. Yeah, Sean Penn did it. Yep. Great movie It's about banging Jennifer Lopez and then you stop watching it She's bringing it up said I'll explain you that lady like I was like, y'all. And that last one was someone sent us a video of this girl with a horrific accent, Midwest accent, while she has sex with her, I guess, husband.

She just keeps talking about fucking a black guy. And that's just her, you cup of for a little his calls his head his everything Oh my god, oh He's just so good And I was like you Like it better this way I'm like you know, that's like a sweet saying he was like are we just gonna walk around all day and fuck and I was like yo Fuck yeah

You turn that this is her hottest by the way. What's also 20 years ago? Okay, there you go. Oh my god Yep, we'll get to it. Oh my god Because you know I feel about the four play I'm football Good for Sean pad. Yeah, oh Probably cool for JLo I don't know kind of what now kind of I did sexy There's a doggie scene in the show. The doggie scene is the better scene. It's so awkward.

Like, there's so many people. It's just gotta be the worst. I did like that kiss the one time and it was weighing on me hard. What do you mean? When you kissed that kiss? I had the kiss a girl on Xeroch once and it was fucking weird. I had to have sex on, I'd shot a pilot and we had me my this hot actress my wife. We had have sex Yeah, and I had to put one of the condom on I had to put the

The little what is it yet? Okay, like a nylon to nylon. Yeah, you put it over your shtamiki and your balls, okay, and Shtaminky's too many, uh, syllables for what I have going on. Well, mine was too because the sock kept falling off because there's nothing, nothing for it to hold onto. So it just wanted to being around my balls. Oh.

Because my, I didn't, I got so nervous. I was like a shower cap. There was too small for your head. I got so nervous that my thing went inside. Oh, I didn't want to get hard. I got so nervous that my thing went inside. Oh, I didn't want to get hard. I didn't want to get aroused and get fucked or embarrassed or, you know. Yeah, so I went the other way.

I think the people on nude colored underwear at one time for a fake dick show. And that's it was like, it's a nightmare. I know we got a very Christine Good Hand motion. Good hand motion, Christine. She was waiting like this. Then I looked over, she gave me a fast snap and break it. Right now.

Yeah, we'll take a break. We'll be right back, everybody. It's the bonfire. It's the bonfire. Everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer.

That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go on a little, little, little. I step down to Crackle Crackle, I stink. Go on a little, little, little, little. I stepped on your crackle crackle, I stigke.