The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Happy Birthday Black Lou (feat. Josh Adam Meyers)

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

Josh Adam Meyers joins The Bonfire to celebrate Black Lou's birthday!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. The notorious homophome. You really don't realize how much P. Diddy got to sit through to get the biggie on that song. I love it though. In your mind, as he is the biggie versus so much sooner, then you're like, they're really letting P Diddy go.

They let him go off. Yo, yo, the company. It's honorary black, black bonfire day, yo. What up? It's black Monday. I'm Big Dizzy. Big Jizzle. That's Dizzy Dan. It's me, it's Black Monday. I'm big dizzy. Big jizzle. That's dizzy dance. Me it's egghead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, nine five. Damn, what a better time. This

was nine five. We could just yell F-words all willy nilly. Yeah. But we're not. We survived. We are the survivors everybody. you know that big you didn't even know that his baby so scrutinized right now No I get a different way Come on You know in the world I'm considered the walrus No, you're I was doing a character Grab my sleep apnea

I just want to apologize To the great You Man Bigging everything wrong enough to get CPAP sweet I have to finally wear my CPAP mask. I know what rest is How many times you think faith Evans got it that shit scared out of her with him waking up like Cushing on him like symbol I'm with awesome

Biggie big Biggie biggie big and he's sleep talking Did you know that long story Number 12 crack And then he did he snores like this. Yeah Take that take that take that Locker with the bonfire on Faction talk one of three. I'm dancer that's big Jericho sin

That's Josh Adam Myers hanging out Blizzard watch forgot the Colorado at blizzards and then three hours later it stops. I'm going to ask been Tomorrow What am I bringing? It's a weather cold. I'm 75 degrees here. I swear, I'm bringing it with me, don't I? Woo! Yeah, dude, Josh does have standing outside

small airport voice. Oh, I'm surprised. Small, small airport, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. They let you land with the fog covering the field I'm not about I called it That's your sister That's mine over there the wing beauty Yeah, I de-ice that wing over there

Look it might as sharp also could be boat also could be boat owner I got a boat for sure anything that isn't land It could be boat owner I got on about for sure anything that isn't land That's my about 15 knots up there. There she is. This is my land speed cruiser The brown tickler. Oh, you guys have never seen a hover I got this straight from Tatooine that we introduce of course DJ low Christine Marie Evans and On a very special day. I just have a headphones on.

It's time to pay attention right now. All rise, the Black Tiger, our Black King, and the soul of the bonfire black blue Christine was last one to stand up she started kneeling. Yeah, she was fighting Each time she didn't kneel for a black guy's birthday come on nah come on Hey come on Just motherfucker we would that shirt whole room get down motherfucker got shirt Mother fuck shirt How old you black?

37. How you good age you getting that late 30s birthday. It's really just you've won a normal day. Yes. Sitting at home. Were you ever a big birthday guy? Like go throw yourself a party. Like, Doreza will throw himself a party. Every year. Every year.

I may have done it four or five times. Early 20s though. Oh, definitely early 20s. Always to get women around you. Yes. Every year for the sheep. Every year to the sheer burden of everyone else. Oh.

The only theme birthday party was this traffic light party. You don't traffic light parties, right? No, is that where you have the right wrong light to girl sucks your dick? No. It's rainbow party. Close. Traffic light is like you show up to the party wearing a certain color, greeting if you're single, yellow if you're talking to someone.

Red if you're a pyro. If you're off the road. If you're in the protég, if you're off limits, if you're a pyro. If you're off limits. If you're off limits. If you right. I know. I ain't typing no C. Morkey is buster. No, this is a traffic light party. There's a certain thing. She's like, I wear rick. I'm a bad fool. I'll be gonna say this any guy wear red and go to the party Yeah, doorks you doork Why was your girl there also in red she was oh? Yeah, you went to this kind of party with the girl fuck that fuck that But if you went to one of these parties your girlfriend showed up doesn't green

And you're like hey are we not is there something did I do something wrong? We're good. Yeah, just to keep you on your toes all night. Oh, I didn't know you were coming to this one Yeah, you show up and red and she shows up in yellow like what's up? You know, I love my ass at traffic light party. Sorry babe. You were working the night It was laundry day only my green stuff was clean Oh, I had left with my green sweats and my green sweatshirt. I can't think of a color I'd want to fuck somebody in the least. Green? The neither of us wearing green.

Yeah. Basic fruit of the loom colors. Green. Ah. Green pops a little bit. It offsets other colors. You Josh, did you ever throw yourself birthday parties? Yes, the last.

The drug phase. The last one I threw was my 26 birthday in Baltimore And I actually got busted with cocaine that night I was happy birthday. I was at my coke dealer's house at like three in the morning She told me to come back. She give me free coke Oh, and and I went back and I was I don't know Kind of crazy deal for you Come back here at three o'clock just some here and something outside of here some skeetering outside

Free coke free coke happy birthday and I and I'm sitting there waiting she gave me three bags and then cops raided her place and they were like, all right everybody we're gonna search you know each one of you and talk to you wanted a job. I'll be a witness. I was gonna give you a job. I can give you the top. But this is this guy's on the street. I was like a wire I I'm sure I can get anywhere I can drink down the whole content I can charm my way in any place. Yeah, look I think I mean with with the cap all of them off in them all I was already wearing a wire

I was gonna put it out as a podcast Crazy you busted me Oh, I'm talking to Jen about the debos first wrecked Not they they pulled me outside to talk to me and I had three bags of coke and there was like they're like so you know What do you do here? I'm like? I'm just trying to meet this girl But I'm gonna get out when when this is all done He's like all right. We just want to search you and I had three bags of coke in my pocket So I was like all right bitch framed me no no no

I was like what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give it or the Marion Barry, bitch set me up. Mother fuck a bitch. Fuck, how'd this get in there? She said, let me feel for you dick inside Japan. And I think she's putting cocaine in there. How long was the time from the cop being like, we're gonna search you to you being like,

how do I get out of this? Did you know the search was coming? Yeah, because he said we're gonna search you to you being like, how do I get out of this? Did you know the search was coming? Yeah, because he said we're gonna talk to each one of you individually and he brings me outside and he's just like, what are you doing here? And I was like, Dad, I'm just, you know, I'm partying with some friends and we're just here and there's some girls here and that's it.

And he's like, all right, well, we're just gonna search you real quick and I go, all right, and I know I have the coke in my pocket. So I'm like, what I'll do is I'll Charlie Huffett where I grab the coke and go, I don't got nothing in there and then he'll go to search me and then I'll like what I'll do is I'll Charlie Huffett where I grab the coke and go I don't got nothing in there And then he'll go to search me and then I'll like release it and it'll fly away like wedding doves I'm sure and then I fucking let go of it and I should just go straight down I think it was gonna sail on you. Wait this gets so you got it to the point

I got it up and I tried to make it happen Take it away I think if I have a knee, no, no, fail me now. If I remember correctly in the Alchemist, I'll just turn into me. Nothing. Yeah. This gets better. This gets better.

So you should take your arms and go, he goes, dude, yes, sure, please check my pocket. You're there. Fuck yeah. You're there with the back. You're nothing in there. As the backdrops, you go up. I think we learn a little bit about physics today So Galileo was right well

It does and my coke all failed the same time at a vacuum fuck mine fuck my ass Newton So he so they find the coke and they go what have we got here? And I'm like oh, I was like in the lake, you know, where'd you get this? I was like listen man. I was like I was just your party And I was like it's it's my birthday I just want to'd you get this? I was like, listen man, I was like, I was just your party and I was like, it's my birthday, I just wanna get back home so I can go to class tomorrow and he goes, wait, what'd you say?

I was like, it's my birthday. You know what it is? What is this here? And you go, I don't know, let me try. I'm not as cocaine. Oh, that's columbia. Oh, that's got a little snap at the end. This guy ain't cut man.

That's beokalum. Oh, this is a bad one. I'm seven different, baby, laxin. I'll tell you what lax and I'll tell you what this is Columbe on I'm gonna tell you this is dancing gasoline So he goes you wait, what did you say? I go? I said it's my birthday. I just want to get home because it's really your birthday And he's like who's here ID and he takes a look at my ID goes holy shit It is you go stay right here. He's like I'm gonna see if I can do something for you I get that coke back for you. He walks over and he walks He walks

Honestly, we got a brick from the last stop. You're fine. He walks over to three other black cops and I'm sitting there because I was like crying and stuff I was like please Thank you for Wow Oh Disappoint Oh Is so disappointed The way the story was playing in my head before Josh said he was crying was him leaning on a lamp post smoking a cigarette going me It's just my my trip around the Sun

The case of wrong plays wrong Sometimes the leaf blows inside doesn't even know what inside is He doesn't know it's out of its own a baby. I'm a bird trapped in a mall Oh, I swear to God, I don't know this bitch. I walk in the wrong place. Oh, man. I'm a Christian Christian, I was coming to retire and go for a So I was coming to retire and go to where it's They did for me. I'm done with this I was going straight to the pre-sync to try to do it. I was doing a toy to us the tots drive I was doing my own personal thing. I almost had no beautiful

Gathered for y'all So so he goes we walks away and I'm sitting there I'm like I'm like wipe in the tears away. I'm like holy shit I was like the the birthday thing is gonna work and he comes back with three black cops He's got my ideas Hey, hey fellas Hey, boy Funny to have you

Protecting and serving You guys getting my mom is gonna be a self-discipline You gotta get it, my mom is gonna be a self-discipline. I can't not offer my best day. It's gonna ruin graduation. So he comes back, he's got the three black cops and the whole idea he goes, so you can see it's really a birthday. And I was like, yeah man,

I just wanna get back home and get back to my studies. And then he goes, well we're gonna do something nice for you. And then all three of them turn and go, happy birthday, dude. They sang nice for you and then all three of them turn and go happy birthday They sang me happy birthday and then arrested me. No, yeah That's those cups were awesome. I kind of like it because I was like if they I'm gonna be mad if they let them go We fucking harmonize and everything do they really always the man guys We've been practicing the quartet for the police

We've been practicing the quartet for the police talent show. Happy birthday. This is the snivel and this bitch's birthday. From 47 Monro Street. You are an organ donor also. And your riser hazel and your riser hazel. They just do the whole Miranda rights as a quartet Which will be used against you He's like I think I learned my lesson through song

Thank you fellas, thank you. I understand that I have to be processed, but I think I learned something here. Schoolhouse cop. We're getting on the finger print line. We're getting on the finger print line. That's like musicals every situation of it. When they at what point after the song

did it go right for me to the song? Would you like put your hands on it? No, no, no, no. It was like they started singing me me happy birthday as they picked me up Put the song me and Fuck off. Put cost of me it took me the station and then I got to the station and I just like was there And I got a ticket for it and then the ticket got dropped because that girl I guess got arrested and she flipped I never saw I never saw Jen again. No, you put Adam in the middle of your name and you moved across country

It just sucks. She's listening right now. She goes, hold on, shut up, shut up, shut up. She's talking to the cops country. She's been through the shows. Out of them. El Blanco is back. Oh my God.

El biablo. The white goat. He's in New York. We've got him. Los Lambos. Then it just sends Josh on an adventure for the next 72 hours, escaping people to make fun of. Fuck that rule, dude. No, I was on Charter tonight. Los Lambos. Then it just sends Josh on an adventure for the next 72 hours, escaping people to my corner.

Fuck that rule, dude. No, I was on Charter. It was nothing but you tonight. He's breathing. I was on Charter and all that tonight. I would love to have a judgment date or judgment night chase. Just have a fucking like, you know, guys after me fucking, you know, something like that.

Wait, that happened. Somebody thanked me and I think you, DJ Lou, on the Facebook campers group for exposing them to some new or musil music latest in no of that well. And one of them on something I asked they go, what's the best soundtrack ever? And I wrote Judgment Night and they were like, never saw the movie. Soundtrack thumps though. But people going, good case of shitty movie.

Yeah. Great soundtrack. I do disagree. I enjoy the movie very much. Movie was a bad one. It's ridiculous. It's just, yeah. I saw when I was like 12 years old

12 years exactly hit you like Yeah, this is what New York's probably like I mean it's the same way that like it's really probably like same way that lion heart hit me Oh, yeah rules I just rewatch that and that move so bad dude They try to make me as a mean I didn't move the L.A. because the judgment night and Dan did move the L.A. Because I fucking lie hard. He's like I don't want the L.A. because the judgment night and Dan didn't move the L.A. because the fucking L.A. is a lie. He's like, I don't want a pool fight for money. Dude, I can't be in a circle of catalais fighting a guy in a Kills, a circle in catalais. Oh, I don't want a fucking fight in a glass octagon and an eyewide shut party. I don't want

to fight a giant Samoan in a tank top. I don't want to skate in a orange army. I'm taking friendly fire from one of these swinger parties. I'm fighting that. So wait, I have to be a Legionnaire? Yeah, a French Legionnaire? Do I have to abandon it and then shovel coal? He's like, but don't, I have to go back to fight and make money and have sex with my brothers, my brothers weed though.

It's all the way through rules. He really just came in? Yeah, start fucking his brothers weed up. And then, I don't even know me like red his But she was there you know, he's just a sex addict. They should have given him a dark pass Yeah, he was just I'll go back. I'm gonna go back and watch judgment night It's been since I was yet a bully that would be a fun thing to do if we all fucking watch it We do a fucking patreon episode of stop trying to fucking turn everything into content

I just want to learn with you guys more. Just one. We'll do one page. Reon $50 of subscription. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do it. Uh, was not with Chris.

Do you do on cameo? He's like a thousand dollars because I cameo because I won't waste my time for him less than that. I'm like, just don't do it at all. That's like weird. Because I have to say there's a price just fill in the blank anything else. It's like it's like yeah, I'm not Yeah, I'm not gonna suck a guy's dick for a thousand dollars that will but I'm not doing it for less than I don't like sucking guys Dicks like but you will do it though for a thousand dollars. Yeah, there is a price though. I'm like a living

That probably is my sign off that's my radio sign off I don't I'm dance soda and I don't like men's no more. I like women women women I am delivered Speaking of song you know who's in judgment night Cool swi guy of all time. Yeah, I'm Kevin oh Jason what oh Pivot's not even how dare you it's between everlasting Jason Williams from the Seven great in it at playing a character you fucking hate from always good in Yeah, and in real life too. Yeah, but some say it's almost a lot of people don't like him in actual life too

Yeah, so I'm saying it's interesting. He's got it in real life to yeah but a lot of people don't like him in actual life to yes I'm saying it's interesting he's got it in real life He's like not he's like slave almost like he just is the characters that he plays fast-talking But he is the guy that would like guys Let me just throw some money at these thug animals and maybe they'll let us go I guess what he did right? It's what he doesn't the movie. Do you remember? He was like, let me go talk to him. These guys talk money and they just boot him off the fucking roof. It's hilarious.

I gotta watch it. He even does one of these. He's like, talking to him. He goes, yeah, dude. Cold hard cash, Shola. And they're like, I like cash. And he just looks back at the guys. The other roof and he's like,

everything's all good, everyone dudes. He's Burke from Die Hard. The guy that's like, sit down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do a coke. Guys, we're all good. We're all good here. But um, to have that kind of confidence,

because that's that exact things done in so many movies, like trying to negotiate with someone that's clearly about to kill them. Yeah. I mean, I'm not a fast runner. So like, one I realized that it's beyond me doing that, I will try to fast talk my way out of death. You think you can get out of a judgment night's out like situation? By talking? Jay.

I mean, I don't know about, I think I can. Do you? I'm talking your way out of it. Because I'm care is matter. I have the coming guys. Come on. Guys, I'm going to do a oneman show about why I shouldn't be killed. I was born in a rainy night in Baltimore, America.

My mom, a daughter of a trucker. My father is shepherd. Cow Ripken, Jr. was only a game 390, but he was working his way, told the old iron horses record. I just frame my third copy of the Billy ripkin fuck you back card I know I would um I Would just accept death I try to talk the way out of it absolutely I would just put my hands up ago It is a good day to die and they go what you're the amazing

Just look at him in the eyes and go, please don't please don't I'll haunt you forever Hunter daughter Near kiss come on to you Let the blood flow from the heavens and let it fall upon your household In demons crawl on you I have to suffer on your secondborn child He just got a sense of fear that coming For the prophecy says I shall haunt your dreams and your children's aspirations You will never be able to taste salmon never again. Hey, I might get the fuck out of here This guy's fucking creeping me out dude

It's not creeping me out Here's your wallet back. Oh, sorry man. In reality, I might please don't kill me. Please. I've got a lot to live for What I got to do with the do you think if they did the old We're gonna kill you unless you kill this guy And like you're locked you're locked in it. Who's this guy? Some rando I shoot the fuckando. Oh, shoot the fuck out of me. Yeah, peace out. Peace out, clock.

Mush- Mushy! You're catching one of the face, dude. I got the... Bye bye! What if he's like... I'm a gentle grandfather. Cool. You've got a good life.

I'm about to snap your bones like old chicken. What if it's a young boy who's like, I was about to give one of my kidneys to my grandfather I'm the only match how young 14 you know that you know I did and he's a cute young kid, but he's a dick So easy Smash I'll go full primal the smashes head against the wall. You know fucking American history X curbs. Tom That's a little much. I don't like that

It's okay. He's white don't like that. Okay, but I don't like that. No the kitty was stomping out was white I would white on white crime. I would try to make her see what yeah This was white on white crime. That's what he said. He wrote it down and he put it in the gift hat Oh, he sure is loving this Ukrainian Russian war straight white on white You ever seen cream and vanilla Fucking war point at lose house You're way too white-grown. Oh my God, dude. You ever seen cream and vanilla clocks? That's fucking more porn at lose house. Let me go, I boys go.

Looks like bathroom paint switches. I would try to make it look like a life lesson for the 14 year old. I would cross my legs and sit down and say, I'm going to try to kill you. Yes, this is why you brush your teeth, but. However, yeah, never not pay your taxes. All men are equal. Yeah, women are less than equal.

Women, women, women, women, women, don't like men's no more. I am delivered. Women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women women women women women women Um this weekend when I was watching No, I guess it was when I was driving around I heard okay, I'll go fuck No, I was to go watching no, but I was saying uh, we know like when I thought of this radio thing Hmm, I wanted to bring it up because I was listening to Earl Bailey. I think on serious rewind

Mm-hmm. Yes that was on, rewind. He's great, but I heard him ending a show for the first time, I guess, ever. And he's gonna sign off. He's got like, when he gets that, again, I don't know what it is, but I always remember the one from private parts with Johnny Dark. I think it's like, I remember if you can't be good, be bad, baby. And it says, like, goodbye. Like, we need to have that.

It made me laugh. Do we have? Do we have 15 minutes beyond him? I'm saying, I forget, I wish I remember what he said. It was very benign, but like it just fact that he had one. I'm like, that's so funny. I got one for the 500. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Thanks to the next album is this don't forget to do your homework do Google do Yeah, that's like snap doodle that's what yeah, it's a mix what you really say doodle doodle is a doodle do go do go

What's do? No, man, he's blurted out of word I make up words No, but you've stuck Consistently with do go do go do go now Son Consistently with do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-do-go-go-do-do-go-go-do-go-do- He's hungry Thank you for no reason I'm a leaf man. I live out in the forest. I'm a fair old man Jungle Bongo Dungdung doodle scootle doodling Well, you know, I know I know yeah, I You're at a loss. I'm at a loss for it's a little because you just created your own language

It was the yeah It's do your homework do go do go Fuck it bizarre. I know when did you when did you start doing it episode one? Did you premiere with it? And then you were like well I'm locked in now. No, I don't do it. I don't do it every choice I kind of stop doing it as much now do people ask you to bring it back It's like you gotta do it. No, not if you hate it Has anybody ever fans? Josh.

You shot your hand out. No, man, they fucking really bad. Has anyone had a hashtag? You know what, now that we're talking it out loud, I'm pretty sure everyone really despised it. Really would down south quickly. No, it was, cause like, you know, I, I, I, something like I'd make up words all the time.

I guess we used to say crackle crack in the show but very consistently. We, and we, we've always been inconsistent. We're inconsistent about everything. Yeah, but it's, yeah. But crackle crack, I guess we used to say crackle crack the end of the show very consistently. We've always been inconsistent. We're inconsistent about everything. Yeah, but it's yeah, but crackle crackle crackle. Yes, but also crackle crackle was like It was almost like the no, but it became the joke in fairness to all people we make fun of the joke Just became the thing. People say crackle crackle. I don't I don't leave laugh. Like oh, we have a style I go crackle crackle dude So we know that we're not bad know But I want a distinct sign off. Yeah, you want a you want because we're asking you is that the sign off?

It was it was for probably you know 150 episodes and crackle crackle can be made fun of too But I also do do I also say I also because I call like the I call like the listeners either the fleece army or the cadupley I just I just talk man. Do you have like a dated? Do I get shit on all the time by like you go on fucking you know why because you can't because also I know you well enough to know that you won't get the same Every time so they're like okay, we're the cadupley Spugles But then like next time you'll be like the Spadoodleys Cougles and they'll be like no he already had the shirts fucking m- Josh like I just talk hey guys very special stop make a merch very special

500 podcasts where I find out I had a brain tumor for the past six years and it's just been pressing the part of my brain. The part of my brain that deals with speech and patterns and other memory. When I was on the Fritz, whatever, I looked left with both eyes. Words just falling. Sugally moving up. I'm going to do the bond to do. Oh no, I'm brain leaking again.

They hate it. There's like people that on the Apple reviews, just like, you know, great show, but why does he have to talk like Ned Flanders? And this is, what do they hate me? How have you not put out a shirt of you as Ned Flanders? Scootily, dude. I don't know.

You guys will appreciate this. So you guys, I live right next door to like a whore house like time massage parlor And it rules dude like it check out yeah, I've been there. Yes. I got a I got a neighborhood discount I got I got a I didn't but the the girl when she jerked me off She was joking about she goes she goes when are you gonna sperm and I was like She would not stop talking but I haven't been back. Seaman for me. Yeah, where is your seaman?

Seaman for me. So, every night when I walk the dog, when I get home, there are guys. There's always like business man and random guys waiting to go in because you can't just walk in, you gotta ring the doorbell. And I know what they're doing, obviously. You do this every day, gentlemen. I got the buzz, buzz, buzz.

I never acknowledged him at the other night I was walking the dog and the guys like kind of looking at him looks over at me and I go something going to get you doodle Scoodle you know I'm not anymore you know what soft you fucking weirdo no I'm not part of your fan base yeah what no not you are a Scoodle

doodle you guys oh I'm gonna get you Scoodle do um going to get you doodle what how did he react he's like fuck you yeah it was basically a Scoodle Doodle. You're gonna get your Scoodle Doodle. Um, going to get your doodles. What, how did he react? He's like, Fuck you. Yeah, it was basically a bookie. I gotta get your story.

Sorry, man, I'm a widow. Sorry, she died last year and I need to get this seamen pumped out of me. Um, I'll stand up New York when I first moved to the city when Wayne was booking it. And that's where I met Lewis and Dave and Jay and Nate and Justin. That's where I met everybody. Wait, is Wayne the dude, the gay dude? Yeah. Okay. He was Patrice's manager and he booked Stand Up New York.

Oh, I didn't know he did all. I just thought he was just a shitty bitch. Yeah, all of a sudden. Just shut him out. Through all of it. He, so next door to it, now it's like a building they knocked down and put up like a Marshalls and shit, but it used to be a pizza shop.

And in between it was like a building and it was a law firm and then a rubbantug at the top and when I first started hanging out with Jay Well, he would be there and Friday nights and a business man would leave the rubbantug Jay would start it and apply But I've come out Look at him lighter his feet It was and it was like it was like a little outside like five stairs Yeah, it was a little stint and they would come down on like fucking carry grand do when they were coming out I Wish there was a railing

I got a pep in my step and I'm feeling pretty special I just had my problems pull down Tutora man's best friend My dick Costitute are a man's best friend. She's my dick. I am lighter. That's good. It would be like me, Lewis, Dave, Jay, and Nate, or Justin, just outside smoking.

And Jay would always start the applause break. Which I always thought was going to be more defined. There was a picture of my memories today. It was like Wayne, me, young Dave, young me, to have long hair still. I don't know where we're at. Maybe stand in New York. Maybe stand in New York. But Dave's looking so this interesting, but those are different Dave. Is this hair loose?

Is this hair Lewis? When did he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's been in the ecosystem of comedy. Has he always been bald? Yeah, because I always find it so hilarious when you see that picture of Lou. Oh, fuck it. Yeah, but no, yeah, he's been bald. Yeah. Yeah. Dave's always look the same. Yeah, Dave, never. No, in my mind, Dave always is in my mind Dave always is always a cleaned up man Dave's all cleaned up He's like back here What we all did we all did that was I say a picture for me from like oh nine and like Are you in sudden impact?

I love that we find anything with the side of the JCVD and I think I'm not gonna know The entire part of the movie is that it's game seven of the fucking Stanley go No, I was going remember mo remember the Motown Philly video when that the end of the video It's like boy it's demand and they start showing they show BBD They show ABC and then they show this white group of guys. Well first they show all sudden impact and they never put out a CD So that's what I was saying. Oh How you went John Claude band. I went to the one of the greatest John Claude band. That is funny. That's right They just go and they have horns and shit and they point at the end of the video. Oh, please bring that up

I forgot about that I want to find some impact. They make any music ever I know the other one song. That's so funny. Michael Bivenscher's like, I'm gonna grab some white dudes. He goes, nah. He was throwing the video, but nah. It's the end of the Motown Filly video. That's like when a cookie puts out a new flavor. Oh boy.

It's a man. It doesn't work, and they're like, never mind. We didn't, we were called it. Pomegranate almond. That's not what I mean. That was crystal Pepsi boys, man. Yeah. Guys, what if we had a crystal boys crystal boys the man is the white group. He's a no some white boys one got a trumpet

There they are First time to Philadelphia sudden impact Oh, there's a documentary about him. It's 52 second documentary So they got to go watch the video get shot. But they don't have one song, huh? I can't find it. Damn, you know what's crazy about this is their film that music video, but they're nailing that dance. That was boys demand. I know that one. Go back. Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you were sitting in packs. You said right there. New podcast waiting for impact on covers what happened to 90s boy bands. Sudden fact. Is that Dave Holmes?

Yes, Dave Holmes. Is that Bomanic Jones? Investigate it. Investigate it. Find these people. Find out where they are. Chanda news. What are they saying?

This singer here. There's a new podcast coming out. Now story that looks into what happens to the careers of the 90s R&B group set an impact. The boy band disappeared just as soon as they hit the scene in 1991. The 10 episode limited series is hosted by MTV BJ of the 90s and early 2000s Dave Holmes. I'm Dave Holmes.

Dave Holmes your homie and he's he's he's got us to this for him. He's like, do you think you can got that radio show today and probably get my Podcast I mean the first dude met Dave Holmes ain't the home. Yeah, he actually hates me. Don't you really? That'd be so funny. We got to a battle. He's a he's a holocaust and I am my dude mortal enemy I get it Kurt Loader and I got a beef him in Kennedy Yeah, fuck Adam Kerry while right? Yeah, Dan Cortes and I aren't on speaking terms anymore Martha Queen get it though Keith Lotto can suck my dick Kurt Lotto and he's a goddamn real journalist I hate his brother Keith

Keith Lotto Yeah, some Keith Lotto. No, I can't get an autograph from Kurt He's too busy uncovering news stories. No, I don't have to break news about Woodstock 99. Please stop making the MTV news noise at me or not my brother. Chuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuchuch Did you come with awesome this weekend? Very, it's my kind of town, dude. Smells bad, people rule. Was this smell like couch it? Oh no, no. That's cause that part of the washroom, that's terrible.

That hotel's good. That was great. That part of Washington is where like, Beastieality is still legal. No. Yeah, it is, I swear to God. This is like when you had a friend in your school. Josh, don't say this so hard, say,

I think I've heard that somewhere. There's, no way. I don't know that. No, I don't know why I go to my ghost. How do I know? Cause I'm sitting here amongst you today. It's so hard say I think I've heard that somewhere How do I know cuz I'm sitting here amongst you today. I don't know. Maybe I go to bond he didn't Pause conference conference. I don't even know what it was. I don't know. I joined a group called other. What is this? What is this about? B.C. Ality is now a class C felon. He punishable by up to five years in prison.

That just happened. In my way, it did just happen. Well, 2005. There's a great documentary that might that my buddy, Angelo and I used to watch one of the best documentaries I've ever seen. It's called Zoo and it's about the, you see it? Yeah, it's almost like shot by Stanley Kubrick. It's it's so good. The cubes and it's about and it's about that situation about the dude who was who was in love with his horse. He worked for Boeing and then he got he took it in the ass one night and he died.

Is it punctured as fucking dick when everything because he wasn't a true queen and couldn't take it. It's half-parks. This is a funny thing with the horses. Yeah. Did you see that? Yeah, last week. Yeah. Yeah. With the cold war throwback. Yeah, but yes, but like butter is just being on a horse. Oh yeah. His horse suck. It just stuck. What's it called? Uh, forget what he's like. Malancholy. No, but what's the actual thing called? He's like, do you? Oh, I forget but he's like melancholy No, but what's the actual thing called reason? Do you I forget but he's sops and he starts like sitting on the ground And then it's big dick flop sounds right around and he starts fucking another report What's a call does like Chasse? He's like how good at you at your Chasse? That's the Russian horse self-arts had a great season so. Fuck, I gotta watch it. It has been good so far.

Birthday boy. Bring again and get his own stuff. Oh, my brother. Talk to you, what? Don't over-select you. What do you my mom talking to her boyfriend? My brother. Oh, thanks, Jack.

Thank you, home-skill it. I got, hey Josh, can I pull you side real quick? Can you stop saying, say, hey, to a black loo? Say hey. It kind of, I'm not gonna lie, kind of a friend's house. Josh can I pull you side real quick can you stop saying say hey to black blue? It kind of I'm not gonna like kind of a friend's job in my Shit, you know that's was up that's was up So it's code switching my Carson daily used to I'm fucking With love big empty URL. TRL. Thank you. How's gonna say TLC?

They were on to a lot fucking idiot What is your talking about? There's more snacks. What? TRL. Like it just, no one cares. You don't have to like see them through a window, your favorite celebrity, through a window. You can just directly message them, go fuck yourself. Of course. Or here's a picture of my dick and snack.

Yeah, here's my penis, Britney Spears. Yeah. And now that she's on the... And she might, and by the way, now she's... 70% chance she sees it now. She's unchained I bet she's just common for ween her picks. I can't wait. We're pretty close to seeing her at least doing some kind of fart finish porn on She looks great though like she looks great. She's She's like I get well her hair is always messed up. No, she looks she looks bonkers now, but her not her body sick

Yeah, I mean yeah, her eyes are jittery and not there. I argue this, but man, I argued this with a Dave Smith. Yeah, dude, the body's great. Oh my god, look at the body. Sure. I always look like a capable of operating. Usually when somebody goes crazy like that, they put on weight. And they spent pretty like judgmental, the things I think like fucking J.

Lo's body is unreal and Dave's like ah she's 50 and whatever I'm like she looks unreal for 50. I do agree that 50 probably usually doesn't have an amazing body So she's a multi multi millionaire so she's probably doing those freeze-off fat things and as every trainer and every meal cook for Okay, whatever the reason is just saying she is actively attractive and has a great part But look there's another person person that had a breakdowns very similar to her that is. Pamela Anderson looks like she's melting. No, I was gonna say Pamela Anderson,

I was gonna say, and she's much younger, Amanda Bines. Have you seen what Amanda Bines looks like now? I think she's on methamphetamines all the time. Yeah, I did see this recently. I think she's back now. She is, but like she looks so, because I saw a picture of a recently Amanda Bines and I was like, I thought when she was like an adult, She was like really really pretty. Yeah, she's that crazy, dude

She was so good. She looks like Marilyn Manson, but she was cute as an adult even where that's her In the meth show. I mean that's her before she was gorgeous. That tattoo is straight but she gets her telling me that fame on a Child's mind is good Well, yeah, I remember dude. She was around the time of fucking old foot boy. Oh, yeah fucking Dennis Blondon was over there Hey guys, this is the part where we we have you guys floss your toes with licorice Christine look up Dennis and uncle and uncle Blondon comes in Christine look up Dennis and uncle and uncle Blondon comes in the side of the circle. It's Uncle Danny. Uncle Danny's gonna suck your toe.

What are you making? Call him by your head of the class character name. He goes, I don't know, Gaysley call the cops. He's by the Adina slides. I have 14 pairs now. Dennis Blondon? Blondon. Yeah, there should be a little great another pair of chonklas. Well, Dennis Blondon is the guy's character. Anyway, uh, it's great. Dan Schneider. Yeah, what a great shirt. That would be a Well, Dennis London is the guys dance.

No, what a great shirt. That would be a problem. Cancel Dennis. London type in. It's dance. Schneider. Yeah, I think there's news. I think you just got arrested.

Football. No. Did you dance. I'm tired. Just you dance. I go to news. I'd argue that part of my job is looking at my dick. Take out a rustic.

Boom. Boom. You gotta be out. You gotta dance. Boom. Kadova. Boom. Go down.

Kadova. Boom. Alright, never mind how. Yeah. Those are all. He got fired though. He took like, you got a huge settlement or something. Not a settlement. He got like, yeah, a huge severance. Yeah, those are all he got fired though. He took like he got a huge settlement or something. Not a settlement He got like yeah, huge severance. Yeah huge severance. Just to build another cool. He built an empire. All of his foot fetish

I'll tell you I know it's like if he didn't rape anybody or anything like it's just feet You're like the end of the day like you might end damage. He's kids that much honestly. I mean, it's fucked up and he should be in trouble, but it's like, he's not that much trouble. He's like, he had a foot. If he's in there and they were massage and feet, he was looking through a fucking sliver. I mean, let's. He did like it off at some feet. It's really guys. I'm just going to get it. I'm going to go in the other room real quick and get myself together. You go, you kids play, do whatever with

your feet. You guys would have knocked some balls around with your feet or maybe you know, like, like touch each other with your stinky little feet I'm gonna be in the other room if you don't mind it goes to you in a sliver room just surrounded by Different angles of kids fucking going like why do you want to touch feet look at my feet look at my feet It's working. It's working. Oh, sorry my whole floors of baby pools Your feet in it. You want to put your little stinkers in there if you're gonna get molested Foot-metallistation. Yeah, I can't do you've had a good foot rob if you had a choice of molestation Yeah, and by the way

To varying degrees of success now, it's that you could become like you're gonna become a huge Multi-million dollar money's never a problem star But you got to get straight up fucking dicked up the ass hard You gotta go through the couple times a cut maybe a good year of straight molestation But you will be famous like Not even say famous wealthy Forever and what you and do what you want to do forever But I mean also would you take someone like jacking off to pictures of your feet for like a real solid career?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. If there's anybody out there that wants pictures of my feet, that can get me a special or something? I'm out here. I got a good, got the new iPhone, it's got four cameras on it.

I'll shoot it good. Josh is like, I got a Netflix special. How? Well, there's some people at the top that are into some weird stuff. Just know that my feet are perfect looking. No. And it's step on a lot of right pineapples. What would that mean?

Is that good for feet? I don't know. There's the thing you guys end up. It's like I'll give you an hour. I want you to mush your foot into a can of loat mellant. Oh, Jacob wasn't here to get you a cookie cake, black loo. Fuck, I wish I would have been there. I would have picked a loat. He texted me last night though, probably for the best, because 37 years old, the diabetes

is on its way, and that's a direct quote from Jacob. He's got the first step for the sugar. Jacob, honey. Um, Jacob, honey. Jacob? Honey. Hey, talk. Hell yeah, are you doing anything special in Nightlough? Nope, just relaxing. Just kicking it.

Straight up going home, doing nothing. My favorite thing. Yes, you honestly got to have the key. We probably got to watch the, you do have. He is so cute. Yeah. Mildred Rules. Yeah.

I want to meet him. I want to meet him. I want to bite him. What? Did you set your kid up for literally being like a straight-up sex god in college? The name Hendrix. Yeah, that's a cool name. That's gonna get him pussy. Oh my god. If he plays sports, dude, for sure he's getting drafted and for sure he's fucking young Hendrix Johnson Hendrix Johnson, dude. That's that's over the shoulder touchdowns if you ask me.

Handrick Johnson, the Ohio State. V, Ohio State. You've been listening to Sirius XM's bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows always on Sirius XM. Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM.