The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hard Denial

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

Baller Tristan Thompson is in the news again for cheating & making babies and The Bonfire is all over it!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey, I'm Big J. Okreson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. Okreson, Dan Soder. Welcome to the Bond Fire on the Series XM Faction Talk 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big Joe

Crescent. We are remote, but we got the full crew. Can you see my eye? I can't, dude, it's busting out of your eyelid. It's crazy. He's got a shiner. When did it, we did the, sorry, break the fourth wall here. We did the lost tapes earlier today.

It didn't seem that bad. What happened? It wasn't that bad. I don't know. It's just getting worse. The moon came out and drew out the style in your life. I'm going to hot compress a bit the more in the show. Yeah, do it, dude. Hold it down.

Well, like I said, I'm still a bitch. And that lumpy-eyed sweetheart is big, you know. We're here with the full crew, Jacob DJ Lou and our black king the black tiger Lewis Man is it hard not to go right in the fell dog stuff after leaving a hanger on the We get sorry everybody, but we'll get through it next week. We'll finish it up next week a lot of good stuff a lot of good stuff going on So much good. Yes, we did get to the podcast with him in Steve O. And yes, we did realize that Josh Hommie from Queens of Stone Age has a restraining order against his ex-wife and the hat maker. Wow, we get a monster in the

court of his peers. Let a jury of his peers decide that. But definitely can't be rocking all the Queens of the Sunnature. It's up and wearing. Yeah, you can for the last 15 years. You're wrong about that. You can. Maybe. Dude, whenever I wear a great art from the artist. Yeah, well, you know, I think we're doing that with a whole bunch of people these days. Including the artists from the shirt, if I like the shirt enough. A guy who's wearing a black sweatshirt and black sweatpants. It's Poet Dan. That'd be great. Angry. Pete Nick. Dan. Dan, you're 40, you start dressing like fucking Steve Jobs.

Yeah, dude, you just want to fucking innovate. You just want to innovate. You see Jalen Hertz wrote the Washington football team who are announcing their new team name on 2, 2 2 if it's the fell dogs I will buy every peach of merchandise possible. You have no shit. Are they really they're going to announce the new thing? Yeah, on 2 2 2 2. What do you think of February?

I don't know. I don't know. It'd be funny if it was just the Redskins again. We're going back to the Redskins and it's like whoa. Maybe like a senator something like that like you do the redskins again. We're going back to the redskins and it's like, whoa. Maybe like a senator, something like that. Like you do the old Washington play. Yeah, but the Philadelphia played the Washington football team and won to clinch their playoffs. Playout spot. But then as Jalen hurts the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles is walking out the

field railing collapsed and a bunch of fans fell almost hitting the greening to the ground. Yeah, and he rode a letter. Yeah, I can't believe he's okay. If you can look that up, Christine, he rode a letter to the Washington football team that was like, Hey, you guys are going to do something about this. Your stadium was falling apart, which is weird. I don't know if I agree with this. Some of it can happen to it. Some can happen to a rally if a bunch of people are leaning on it. I was at a, excuse me, I was at a slayer concert once. Slayer Mancay concert.

When Slayer was on, they pulled the, at the PNC Bank Arena, they pulled the gate out of the ground. Like the cemented in barrier that keeps the lawn people from falling into a what would be quite a huge ditch. They just ripped it out. It's it was crazy. They ripped it out and then just like security couldn't even do anything about it. So they just started accepting them handing the pieces of it to them. They're like, thank you. That's the place where Lewis that's where Lewis started the slow clap that maybe changed my respect for him completely That he stood up on that railing was isn't that the railing that they ripped out the coolest thing ever

Did he started the slow clap? We weren't seats we were at the railing of some seats, I think okay and Lewis. Yeah, Lewis got it going did it was great and He was he was definitely the epicenter of the of the clap He got up started the clap and everyone was like, this guy gets it. And they just followed him. Yeah. He saw me trying to do it. And I was failing miserably. It was too tepid and timid. Nebyshy almost. He just goes up there and he's like, come on. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, go man. And he just, yeah he got him going the whole place. It circulates to the entire arena.

Pagentry. Pagentry. Christine, could you choose this up for me one more time? A hot compress? Dude, I got it. This thing's got a bust. Dude, how, where did, is it the same kind of style you were having before? When did you have this style? I don't know. I get it probably like nerves, shit or you know anxiety shit. But when I worked at a bed, there

are the eyes. Yeah, there's no work at bed bath in the animals, all the dust from the top shells, no stock and stuff. It kept you guys eyes. Bring me a couple hot water. So I can. Oh dude, what a ball or move. You just with a couple hot water dipping your stippad and then pressing it. As you talk about the goings on of the world. Yeah, like, oh, that brings me to the room. So guys, what is going on with that Washington railing? I mean, what's up?

What's all, oh, yes, that's purely, if we should give you an eye patch with a compress on the inside. It's gonna look better than it looks. It looks like a jack. This is like the worst looking one I've ever had. It looks like a beast thing. Yeah. That's us on zoom. I'm not even in the group. It looks like Rocky round four. Whoa. Whoa. You're not wrong. I fucking, I filmed something this morning too. It didn't look that way. I was under sunglasses still, but like damn. I don't know why this thing got so

too. Why if this thing got so angry? Dude, he got juiced up in the afternoon. Did you blow your nose? Yeah, I did. That's the problem. I blew the nose and it blew up. My friend Adam got into a fight in high school and I wasn't at the fight, but I went to the party that he went to after and celebration for the fight celebration party.

I guess I guess the fight was pretty much a draw, but he had gotten hit real hard in the face. And he didn't have any marks or anything, he was fine. He just got hit real hard and he's like, yeah, whatever. Hey, let me blow my nose and he blew his nose in his whole eye, blew up like. Really? Yeah, and I guess he had something,

when he got hit in the nose it like opened something up Yeah, but he blew his nose and it was just like a fucking fat black eye Is it what they say when it was boxing right like don't blow your nose? Don't blow your nose out is that what it is. It make your eyes swell up. Yeah, it was crazy I walked in and you look like quasi-moto. I was like damn you lost that fight And he's like no, I didn't know I did it. It just kept being like I was fine But when you walked in surprised and see his face like cheats. Yeah, it was just a mother's fuck. It was like it was so far out swollen. It was smooth. You know what I mean?

Hey guys, is there a mark not here or here? It's one of the funniest. Dude, yeah. The funniest farly scenes. Also, it's funny when you're he seems also. It's funny when you're here so much It's funny when you think you want to fight and then you're just around your friends at another party like yeah That guy sucked funk in your eye just pops out. You're like, oh, yeah Yeah, I kicked that guy's ass look at me. Not a mark. Hatch you Oh, God. Oh, no, the sneezes beat me up So what did he what a did Jaylin Hertz write? Like he wrote a letter to come in him hard. I think it was just kind of like, uh, you know, when you write a customer complaint,

or you try to sound formal as Katie's called it book reporter language, or book book report language, you know, when you're like, and in the justification of the times that I have, upon which it was red. Yeah, it reads a lot like that. It reads like he was like, watch me write this letter, and it was just him being like, as you can see, this is a channel that's in her white woman for this. He can't remember, dude. The thing is who is this is in this is an acceptable in a children could have been hurt. How dare you This is she hurt you wrote this yes. I'm getting my design cut into my fade right now And we're gonna just stay in there kneel before me. I

Yeah, dude. Oh man. I wish I got I got to find it actually Josh had a Meyer sent it to me And I got to send this to Christine Christine my texted to you But get this up as soon as you can this is so funny. It's a lady from Philadelphia Just perfect accent perfect everything just scream and she keeps going. You know, we're going Just scream and she keeps going you know we're going game into the playoffs That's great. That's it. It's so goddamn funny. You know we're going Going to the play all did you find the actual letter?

Christine Christine she's getting your hot. She's getting my hot water. Thank you Christine. I need this hot water things are going a Little haywire here. I can read you the letter. I found the letter. Thank you. I can read it to you and this is total book report energy. So I found the actual letter and here's what Jaylen Hurth writes. I am writing to inquire about what follow-up action is being considered in response to the near tragic incident that took place at FedExfield on January 2nd, 2022. As you are aware, many individuals, including fans, media personnel, and myself, were placed in a dangerous situation when portions of the FedEx field tunnel collapsed.

Although I was able to prevent the barrier from crashing onto me, that was not the same for others who could be suffering from lingering injuries. Though the initial shock, my first reaction was to assist those involved. However, while I displayed a calm composure, I understand the severity of what happened, and am extremely concerned for the well-being of the fans and media. As a result, I would like to know what safeguards the NFL in the Washington football team are implementing to prevent this from ever occurring in the future. The resources of the NFL in team organizations ensure our safety, through playing through

this physical sport, but what happened on on Sunday put both fans and players unnecessarily at risk. Long after the final whistle, I look forward to hearing from you on this matter. Sincerely, Jalen hurts Eskwaja. That was good performance. That was good performance That was good that was really and that's word for word Yeah, word for you were putting on the accent, but that was exactly what for it was working. I did you know over emphasize that Yeah, it should be read like that by a constable Yeah, it's going to be a considerable voice. They should bring it out on like these

He and laws have been certain place Ting ting ting and then have a rolled out scroll To the members of the Washington food party If I can get your John Hancock you to make you like him or make him does that make you like him more or less But I'm on the field. I don't give a shit. I'm all the field. Marrow Manson's just a guy on stage in 1999 He's not shocking assholes and stuff. Yeah, he's piercing klits against their will dude. Josh. Haami are you kidding? Dude, he's fucking standing there front and Dave grow on them drums He's fucking beautiful man, right? He's definitely not a he's definitely not attacking a Habadashir and California, it's how's it is California. That's how it's called. It's not a thing.

That's not a thing. You've always said, Mark Tremura, great tight end. So what? He gets a little handsy with his babysitters. That's not where you're focused on. Get the fuck over with it already. How's it going? How's it going?

How did you see? This, it hurts so much. This is a, I just read this in between shows. Sorry, but we taped a show earlier today. And, uh, Tristan, you see the Tristan Thompson thing? Yeah, dude, straight up just admitted. He got called out. He made it get admitted. She got the test, and then he was coming back and back. Alright, but I want to see the stuff, because it was like, okay, I may have talked some shit over the past few weeks.

About this lady. Tristan Thompson. He's a... he plays in black sports Jacob it's not NASCAR he's a basketball player he plays in black sports and by that I mean dating Kardashians come on come on come on what's even funnier is now that that post has happened I saw something online that Lamar Odom commented on it it was like no seriously she's a she's a cool chick and this shouldn't happen to her We're almost dead. Oh, yeah, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? I was paying for it. So Lamar Odom He also plays in black sports chick of Lamar Odom

Years ago now a couple years back. He Like almost died. They thought like he he fucking passed out at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch and he had a ton of gas station viagra in him. He took it right a horn. But also had a bunch of coke and shit too, that was the issue. But he was caught there with that and had to apologize to her and everything. He left her now. Her new ex-husband, I guess now is or ex-girlfriend or whatever is Tristan Thompson, another basketball player.

And she's had kids with him, I think two kids. And he's been kids, you know, all things Kardashian. They have two kids, I think, but they, uh, but she. Who's have two kids I think but they are but she Who's has two kids Tristan Thompson and Chloe Kardashian. No, they have one kid. Oh, okay. They have one kid But anyway, I believe he has a kid with another girl that he started cheating on with Chloe wait, so this is now that's a child that he's had out of I think this is a third child with the third woman But I can have a lot of child Why what's the timelines of his babies?

And we do that funny if they're like one one and a half to oh good chance of that I'd say Yeah, look up their ages because that's fucking wild. So anyways, Jacob to catch you up Tristan Thompson was notorious cheating on Yeah, I mean he got caught like in a video with girls leaving a club. He was like, oh, he cheating It's one of the best videos because it's one of those ones like we say Someone thinks they're being slick but the whole thing is on video So it's great. So he goes up to these girls and tells them to quietly go into a limo without him and he'll meet him in a limo down the parking lot a little bit and he just it's a wide shot of all these things happening. So it's like I'm gonna

sit over here and I don't know who you guys are and then casually walk over to the limo and he just does it all. So obvious and so he got caught cheating on her and had to like apologize blah blah blah. I think they got back together after that But I guess you just know tourists to keep getting caught cheating and then On this on this last one. It's not cheating though this time. I think they're broken up but Yeah, like another baby with just some girl in Houston, but what I want to see broken up at the time They were like back together at the time that it would have happened. Oh Okay, now I see why it fucking sucks again. She was their trainer, right? Is that what she I don't know I'm saying I want to find out the story more and say she's a personal trainer

Hang on sorry, man. Dude, I want to know if there is one other profession that breaks up relationships more than personal trainers. Oh, you're probably a assistant or secretary. I mean, I bet it's neck and neck. I bet it's neck and neck. Yeah, well, I mean, if you're a girl, it could be fucking DMV worker. Yeah, it could be anybody.

No, personal trainer trainer I bet personal trainers more key relationships together because personal trainers probably tend to realistically I don't think we're just fucking all of the I think those guys probably become more sugar babies for sugar mamas then you think then they're just fucking like smoke and hot chick they might have like a smoke and hot girlfriend or fuck hot chicks but what you think then they're just fucking like smoking hot chick. They might have like a smoking hot girlfriend or fuck hot chicks But what you think they're crushing an ass. It's a lot of it is probably like you know working out 62-year-old ladies and their wacky bodies Just getting money for getting a pound. Yeah, but I bet it does break up a decent amount for sure

So yeah, so this story that uh from the real that Christine brought this is our time. And in a series of Instagram stories posted Monday night, Sacramento's Sacramento Kings player, Tristan Thompson said that uh, perturnty test had revealed he is the father of a child who was born December 1st in his message the NBA NBA star says he looks forward to amicably raising the child with Nichols, his personal trainer. But it says he said some funky shit in the last few weeks. And I want to know what he says. Like, I think he did a whole bunch like this bitch is crazy.

Don't listen to nonsense. Oh my god. And then he's like, you know what dude? That was not that cool. What I said Yeah, even it's a prize that he didn't just try to dig in and be like the science behind paternity test isn't even real This is my own I can't double down only god knows who the father is Anyway, fuck this bitch good night. Yeah, Chloe. Please let me back in the house. I love you. Thanks so funny So you got a pregnant wall they were still together. Damn. Yeah, he said a real apology to Chloe

Yeah, so you don't deserve this you don't deserve the heart of commiliation. I've caused you that's what he wrote You don't deserve the way I've treated you over the years my actions. Thank you. Thank you. I'm not lined up with the way I view you What yeah, they do yeah, he goes Recruis really may think yeah, he goes regardless of what you may think Yeah, dude regardless of what you may think I am dude. No, you know, it's funny to treat someone like shit and just be like listen I know these last five years. I bet he feels bad Yeah, but he also doesn't feel bad enough to not Compulsively cheat.

The guys cheated on him, her the whole relationship. Right, which makes you say it's what I'm almost saying. It's like he's probably like is compulsive with it. You know what I mean? Like it's not apologizing for his fucking thing. Like it is what is it. I mean, fuck your train or under your chicks nose and get her pregnant.

I mean, it's not really, you can't be like, well, he's got a personal. Slip. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it be like, well, he's, you know, he's got a personal role. Yeah, he's known for it too much. He's an NBA player with all the access to working out and he hired her as personal trainer. I don't know if it was his personal trainer. It's just she is a person. I got you. Okay.

In black. Don't forget that she is a person. I got you. Okay. I'm black. Don't forget that he slept or allegedly slept with Jordan Woods. Oh, yeah, that was a big friend too, right? That was a huge, huge deal. Yeah. Oh my God. You Tristan Thompson just going into the Kardashian house and being like, oh, you guys

they could fucking athletes is cute huh? Well, I mean not a starter. By the way career backup center. Hey pretty good though pretty good life He's got that mat liner ticket He's just playing back up his whole life making millions Sliner play for we're not play for Liner played for a while but he backed up in Arizona and he was a backup in Oakland They tried to make him the starter, I remember. And then he was like dating Jessica Simpson.

And I got shit. Yeah, it's fucking. Or Paris Hilton, wasn't it? Something like that. Yeah, I think it's Paris Hilton. Yeah, I mean, it's more like that. Probably, Kardashian really gave him the biz too. Like she got, she's getting hotter.

She gets older. You know what I mean? Like she's getting like better looking. She gets more in shape and everything and like these guys You stupid. I mean a player just Interduced like a fucking Yeah Lamar Odom left a comment on a Facebook post He's just throwing on Facebook like a like an uncle. He's just getting into it like an uncle commenting on politics

He wrote he wrote I truly wish nothing but the best for her and I'm hoping we can reconnect and talk one day as friends She's a good person and deserves the world dude so funny when the shitty X has is like nicer than the shitty or current boyfriend They say use condoms. I mean jeez Louise. What do you get? I got a dude a good We're cool. Can I come home again? Can I at least come those barbecues? I miss Rob.

I miss Rob Kardashian the most. He was fun. She has no kids with Lamar Odom, does she? No. Just with Tristan Thompson. Yeah, do you think Tristan just till the very last minute was just like crossing his fingers? Like, please let me not be the father of this

absolutely that's why I want to know there was a chance I want to see that's what but Christine see if you can find that because that's what Jay was talking about I want to see if we can find him tweeting out being like he's going to have like I want to be so good to be like this bitch is crazy and no matter what he says whatever the gaslighting is he knows for sure she's not crazy. You know what I mean? She knows this isn't an impossibility. Yeah, he was fucking her and for him to act like, well, this is pretty nuts.

Right. He's like pregnant. It's an impossibility. Yeah. And then for her to be like, no, you're actually the father. He's like, wow, weird. It's crazy. The 16 times we had sex without protection one of those resulted in a human

Daughter has a new sibling Oh my god, dude that's got to be fucking crazy when you grow up Because didn't he cheat on her the first time while she was pregnant and that was that the rumor I think so yeah, yeah, I think that's what you did to the girl right before her to What's he gonna do? He's a famous athlete. He's gonna fuck a fat chick at home She's carrying your child. Yeah, and that child's maker to look really unfuckable We can't get bottle service when she's got a baby in her yeah, dude Trying to get bottle service trying We just got a baby in her. Yeah, dude. I'm trying to get bottle service

I'm trying to make it rain on bitches. Do you know what it's you know how addicting it is to have those Beautiful women bring you over a sparkling bottle bottle of overpriced vodka. Yeah, you can't get a bottle service Booth when you're ordering and saying how many and you go two and a half They don't like when you bring a unborn baby in the tummy of your girlfriend into the club. They do it a half Table for two and a half please I'm drinking for two tonight Tonight I'll be Kallu in creaming for two I'll just Kallu in cream. I want something light. I

Mean I don't to keep going back to the well, too. Didn't she also have James Harden like you can fuck somebody out of the NBA Chloe Kardashian to she was what if she just loves basketball She's like look. Yeah, she just knows the ins and outs too You guys are running a lot of triangle tonight. I don't know why it wasn't working. It wasn't working you guys are running a lot of triangle tonight and I don't know why it wasn't working it wasn't working hello it wasn't working guys if you're gonna if you're gonna try to use the the Phil Jackson three point offense do it at least do it some justice if you guys play 48 minutes of defense you only have to play about 30 minutes offense trying to offense only works if two of the three of you are

actually fucking trying anyways. I think it back to filming my show. Anyway, I gotta go endorse the purse. Um, Christine, do you get that message I sent you with the with the Instagram? Yes. Can you put that up? Hang on. This is so funny. I don't argue that part of my job is looking at black dick. This is a new with black dick, Lou God you always think I'm in the gutter. This is so funny Oh It's on to shit Oh Sons of shit

We're being started Go birds do this made me laugh so hard Josh didn't he I thought he was overselling it and it was funny as he said I'm ready for the next round. Come on, come on. Come on, come on. Ready for now? Come on, come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Damn, dude. She has drunk Andy Cohen on her ears. Where you going, man? Where you going? Where you going? Yeah. I have straight teeth.

Where you going? What's wrong? What? What? Where you going? Where you going? To try to get her to do it again Yo, Monday night! Fuck it! Ooooooooh!

Only one to break it! Who had too much time off? Do you have cough? And the pilot please! Did he call? She never realizes he's making fun of her. Put that beginning. It's all this right here. Play that again. Where are we going?

Gaonion Play-O! Where are we going? And do that voice. That just fucking I smoked a pack of cigarettes before the game in a half a pack Oh, yeah Jacob would you buy a fart in a jar from this girl? What about a turn in the bag What have I turned it back?

I get you a turn in a Walgreens bag tomorrow. What if I was to tell you I can get you a fart in a bag? What if I told you I had my hands on several farts and jars for this, this adonis, this gorgeous woman. Give me one more time, Christine, and then Lou, make it forever for us. Oh! Woo!

What are we doing? What are we doing? We're going to break time. We're going to break time. What are we doing? We're going to break time. Yeah She must have booze since like after noon. Oh, yeah, good point Kyle most deaf most she's absolute She she has been boo. When you gave up on these Eagles team, Jay, she was right there going, now they're going to damn it. They're going to damn it. And then they climb back in. And this was her moment. I see you did their damn. You took a little dig. And so that I gave up on them. I watched every single game this year. I just, it looked real bad. Do they were two and five? I mean you guys were the fact that you guys have locked a playoff spot. Honestly, Jay, I was saying that out of anger that the 49ers are not locked in

and you guys are and you were two and five. It was crazy. I could pull Jay tape of Jason. Then I think they are mathematically eliminated. They have to be. They have to be all. I mean, I think they've only lost one game since that, uh, since that was the I think Jay's finding a solution for his mushyness. He's got to turn against them and then they put they, they prove him wrong. I appreciate you changing the word that would be mush and then be in fact, mushiness, but calling it mushiness, because it sounds less fat. Thank you, Dan.

You're welcome. I skinnyed it up. I give you a skinny mush. Oh, oh, oh, Mishie, oh, Mishie, Mashi. I won't say it. Oh, diet, oh, diet, Mashi, diet, mush. You could have took it all the directions. Old, flubber, blubber, Jay.

You could have took it all the directions old flubber blubber Jay Yeah, you that you just found out your way around it is just to shit on the Eagles and then they'll outperform and then I bet that become friends with you Because you'll just keep on getting thanks for shitting on us guys damn what a fell dog had that feeling towards us Hey, thanks guys, you finally got me out of the studio Wait, let's not my new, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Yeah, we've been giving them Jacob and Charlie get there a little bit Jacob We're sounding really good that last one you did was was really close. Give me back to back again Come on man Come on man Look at my dick dude. It's like rock hard right now. Look at my dick dude. It's like rock hard right now Why don't we just touch each other something? This is what guys do man?

It's a it's do it's somewhere somewhere in here Dan. It's somewhere in the you're a voice guy. Does this make sense to you what I'm saying? Yeah. It's somewhere in the neighborhood. It's coming out. No, no, I'm saying it's literally like the sounds has to come from here. I have to do something in my nose for it to work. Hmm. Is that true? Are these not answers? These are questions you're going to answer in your Ted talk about voices because... Dude, I've given that up. I seem to have stumped you. I seem to have stumped you with a pretty simple voice guy question. It's all about in the bottom of your throat.

Is that true man? I'm trying to add you to that. Obi-Wan Kenomi into the world of voices. I've given up the voice life dude. I've told you dare the voice life No, I said what my father when my father passed I said I wouldn't do it anymore. It's too dangerous My mom and Katie sat me down at Christmas and they said you keep fooling around in this life. You're gonna die Yeah, that was a tough day for you. I said I can't give up voices and I said actually said oh I can't give up voices and I said actually said oh I can't give up voices. I said damn do it Do we have any stuff of him

Shitting on the girl that's now that turns out is the baby's mom. I'm looking for it still Thank you put your hands up for some weird reason What are you looking for so did you sit enter you just an enter like a war games? That's what you wish about on an 80s computer you go and you say this we are live We are we're live. Oh, hey, I just want my brother binks back. We don't want no trouble the laws coming for us We know to throw fairs fair bro brother binks back fairs fire Get that noise. Damn Jacob. I think we're gonna lay off more of my legendary Billy Jean

speech. My brother binks just wants his back back. That's all he didn't want any trouble. Fairs fair. Damn dude, getting caught cheating while shooting on the lady you got you cheated with. And then she proves that your father is undeniably funny. You gotta go, she says he's yet to apologize like personally, but that is a thing you gotta

come back at some point goes, can I see the baby? Like, yeah, I'm like, sorry about the four whore who fucks a lot of guys I know and it's probably theirs because she's a slut thing. I use a lot of mean words to describe you and it just turned out I really feel that way. I was doing a character. He's just blaming it. No, actually I'm level three improv over it. Uh, second six. So no, you're not buying this. Oh, you guys don't know this. I've been taking classes at groundlings since the start of the pandemic. She goes no Tristan and he goes, oh, it's actually it's yes and. Well, you're apparently you're no del close. Alright, noob. Yeah, he's got someone never passed 101. It's yes and. Do we? I've watched your class it's classic Impro

Classic Impro Do you have it Christine And we have No, I can't find like his old tweets Hang on let me see I got And it looks like everything's just about the apology hang on few more things coming up on your screen More things right good thing I took in computer class instead of Jim right yeah, and looks like we are in Business boys. Yeah You little hit me with that sound effect again

Oh these guys Thanks dude These guys got quite the fire wall. Nothing I can't get around. Dude again, Lou. Dude, other hacker call up. Dude again, dude again, Lou for me. What's that? Gibson S28. Yeah. I had to deal with one of these in Panama once it was tricky then it was tricky now, but both times I got in Hey, anyway, anyway, don't move Yes

Don't know what kind of operating system these guys think you're using was this MS-DOS The same problem when I was trying to change my grades in middle school. Up and we're in. Got to use me again. We are in. Complex systems. Better complex is the inside of a Commodore 64. Am I right? You guys know what I'm talking about. You guys are not talking about nice attitude guys and there you have it True story FBI showed up at my house when I was 11 years old because I had reprogrammed the Wendy's to actually give away all their burgers for free So they think this is slowing me down They've never had free junior bacon cheeseburgers for all of Evanston, Illinois. We're in. Give me again, Lou.

Oh, okay. Okay, it's a two layered system. No, I don't know. I think this could be the case. I'm prepared for this and hang on. Redirect. Send this signal up to the satellite back down and voila one more final time for me Lou you know they always think you're going through the back door but what they never looked for is the side

window we're in no you got this is a good one. Dan, look, just when you think we're coming in the back door, we come kicking right through. We're in. We're in. We're in. Dude, hacker talk rules. Damn, hacker talk does rule the show's a hacker. I'll be hacking everybody dude They're calm and they're getting close sir. I just need 15 more seconds 15 more seconds they're in the building come on come on come on in the And we got it We're in we We're in.

Speaking of hacked, Vecchio and got his Instagram hacked and he can't get it back. What is it, just non-stop videos that guys helicopter in their weeners? No, but did you see Florentine when he got hacked? It was just like a lot of chicks. It was just hot chicks taking pictures and mirrors with their cell phone. But Florentine got his back. Vecchio, if anyone's listening and knows how to get back an Instagram profile, reach out to Mike Vecchio on Twitter

or Facebook or something. That sucks. Yeah, because he can't get it back. What do you mean? Like, you reach out to Twitter? He's reached out to its Instagram. He reached out to Facebook, Meta, whatever they're calling themselves now.

They couldn't do shit. They never got back to anybody. and they're not switching it. No one's like trying to help him. So he's just got this hacked Instagram account. Well he does call, he's so old, Italian when he calls, he goes, I don't know how to work the goddamn thing. I don't know the machines acting funny. Yeah. Someone else is controlling my machine. Someone's in my phone. No, no one's in your phone. They've just now they got in They're in the my they're in my phone man, I miss living with Mike, but that wouldn't they see what I see

Are they seeing what I've seen right now? What is this what's happening because they changed the name it's no longer at comic Mike V. It's like Because they change the name it's no longer at comic Mike V. It's like Get a photo get free cameras with 5G technology Really it's just like nothing I Delete our Our buddy tanks an actress sent me the message that was like hey, I think Vekky own thing got hacked and then I was like Oh, I have DMs with him. He's like yeah I would report that and delete those DMs because they can get into your profile like that.

And I'm so dumb. I don't know how you're telling me that I didn't just buy a galaxy light from Mike Vekion. Oh no, Jay. Wait, Lou hit me with it. Let me look at the billing here and I could probably, yeah, let me move that over here. And now you are my click in So you know Dude just talking like you're hacking makes you feel more powerful thing. Here's a bad dude again. Give it to me again Just going through your text records here and you can see my tax records. Yeah. Be pretty crazy if the light at 27th and park stayed green, but luckily New York City doesn't have proper security and now it's permanently green. I'm gonna cut through these firewalls like

I'm gonna make your it's gonna make you shit your pants. But Lewis uh Black Lou you didn't find um the Kardashian drama either did you I wonder if you deleted all of it. Oh, I found what was supposedly messages to his ex-trainer or the trainer that was supposed to be the baby mama, but they don't seem they seem kind of on sketchy website. So I'm kind of not believing in bullshit. It's called the give us your social security.com. And you know, I guess. Yes. Um, should we get our first break? Cause I'll tell you, we don't know where we're going,

but we're going to the playoffs. Where are we going? Oh, we're going to the playoffs. We're going to, but you have to do it like this. Where are we going? We're going to the playoffs. Where are we going?

We're going to the playoffs. Where are we going? Jacob, what would it take for you to sleep with that woman? Nothing Nothing. What are you doing free? Damn dude. No, I mean there's no Damn you never have equal opportunity dude. I you're like you're so cool like Corey Felvin You like your fans your skinny fans your tiny little ones you once with big huge boobs and pretty faces Everyone's okay.

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