The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Havana Vibes

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

Bobby and Ari Shaffir went on vacation to Cuba. They stay with a Cuban family and the first night goes well with Ari dancing with the locals. The adventure takes a horrible turn when a hurricane hits and causes a blackout everywhere. They had no water, relentless Cubans trying to scam them, walking through dangerous streets, and voodoo pigs! The two friends eventually turn on each other and Bob walks away with a better knowledge of the history of Cuba. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly well well well who makes his way back stateside If it isn't Cuban traveler, hola Roberto Kelly Amigo Robie air to tell you hey before anyone gets confused and we get an everything here I just want you to know what's going on. I found in this room a stack of Jeremy Piven live in West Nyack, New York, flyers with a QR code, which is basically, let's be honest, money in the bank. So I've decided, made an executive decision at the show

that whenever anybody here does good, you'll be rewarded with one Jeremy Piven flyer. What is the worth on that? How much is that worth? Oh, I mean, name your price. How much is it worth? And dollars, and then can you convert that into pesos for me? Okay, yes. I would say it's probably worth, and we're talking, are we talking materials or what's

on it? I mean both. All in? Yeah. It's $50. $50 per flyer. That's 35,000 pesos. Oh, is that it?

I thought it was going to be in the millions. I don't know how pesos work because I use fucking paper money. I like to use paper money, not wooden shekels. What's up, buddy? What's up, Bobby? Welcome back. I'm done. Can you not leave anymore for a while?

I'm done. It's insane. I'm done doing dangerous things. Okay. I'm not going to do any more danger. Vacations for the next year will be in very nice safe places with my wife, child, or you and Christine and the crew. Yeah, you know, and just like, take it for a Thursday through a Sunday.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm not doing, dude, I'm done. Just a Thursday through Sunday, then we could do this together. Buddy, it was hell on earth. Let me say this. It was the best and the worst at the same time. It kept for-

Yeah, that should be the Wikipedia headline for Ari Shaffir, the best and the worst of everything I mean my my thing on doing this was I am NOT gonna say no I'm gonna go Ari said I want to do this to this. Okay, let's go I thought you said you so you didn't stay in a nice place. No, but things like that. I controlled that. Okay I the casa we got was in the where he didn't want to stay in a nice place. No, but things like that. I controlled that. Okay. The casa we got was in the, where he didn't wanna stay. He wanted, come to find out where he wanted to stay,

we would have been in trouble. Like, it would have been bad. Right. Where he wanted to stay. He wanted to stay in the hood. Where I chose to stay, thanks to my lovely wife Dawn, was in the one block radius. Can we get a group credit for that?

I mean, we all kind of said don't tell R2D2. You did, you did, you did, you helped me. You helped me make the decision. I do, I'm group credit. But you did do it, you did get him, thank you. You did do it to, no one else accepts? I accept it, thank you. Okay, so I accept.

You accept. I accept. Well, I got, we stayed in, literally, there's a block in Havana that cars can't even go on. It's from this block to that block in our casa, house, was on that block. And our casa was beautiful. It was like you walk up second floor, safe. The rooms were beautiful.

I had a balcony. He was opened up to the courtyard, they had a fountain in the courtyard, tables, they had a roof deck with all kinds of plants and tables, you could go up there and smoke and it overlooked the city. So you went to a lovely place. You made an executive call yourself and went to a nicer place. Beautiful casa. You just got yourself one Jeremy Pippen fly to my friend

I could have used this a week ago. I tell you that I could have used stack of these Okay, when I get proud of you Bobby these things could be raining on you I could be shuffling these out to you in a little bit. We got to the airport There's no AC. Mm-hmm. There's no there's no line You got to go through customs and then go through security again, and there's just 17 lines Going into two security x-ray checkpoints And nobody can say anything or you'll you know you'll be fine

So so you just outside you have to just cut people off and get, it's a two hour line through the thing. Whatever, we make it through, I get it. We get into the 1952, whatever the fuck it was that when you apply the brakes, the car shakes and goes to the left and the guy has to just grab the wheel and pull it to the right. How quaint. Quaint, very quaint. We get to the casa, the guy guys waiting, takes our bags up.

Buddy, as soon as we get up there, we hit the streets. He's like, let's go. I'm like, okay, where are we going? He goes, we're just gonna walk. Okay, so we walk and we go up to the main town where the capital is, where the big hotels are. And as soon as we get into this area where some guy walks up to the main town where the capital is, where the big hotels are, and as soon as we get into this area

where some guy walks up to us, hey amigo, where you from? Nice. But we've come to find out that's their thing. Where you from? And you go, New York, and then they're in. They're on you, like a tick. And he's walking with us.

They bring you, you looking for scars? Yeah, cut. They bring you in this thing. We shake this guy. It's like, all right, we're just walking, please. Prophavor, right? I know prophavor, please. No.

I'm telling you how you say it, yeah. Prophavor. Shut up your mouth, though. Dude, all of a sudden, this lady is next to us. She goes, this is 20 minutes into the trip. She goes, hey! 20 minutes into the trip. She goes, hey! She gives the shit out of me.

I saw you at the airport. I was picking up my own arm. How you guys doing? Welcome. We were like, what? Yeah, I saw you at the airport. But I'm, you know me, I'm Small Talk Bob. I love a little small talk.

You're on. You're in a foreign country, dude. She's distracting you while children go through your pockets. What's wrong with you? So how'd you survive the 53 with these skills, these street skills? So now, so I tell her I only got 7 million pesos and no one knows where I'm at. Mind you, I have $2,000 American on me, hidden on my body all over my body. Because I cash cash.

I want to leave that Credit cards don't work. Okay. Nothing. Your phone is dead. Your body's covered in cash and now you're talking to a stranger. Bobby? Yep. Give me back the Pippin' Flyer. Wait, wait, wait.

Give me back the Pippin' Flyer. Oh, come on. Alright, listen, wait. The show's young. So, so, so. You can always earn back your Pippin' Flyer. So, so, she's walking with us and she keeps telling us, there's a festival, a festival,

you should go to the festival. You want cigars? Blah, blah, blah. You, festival. And we're like, what? She goes, once a month, the Cuban people get to sell their goods and the government lets them keep the money and there's the festival.

We should go to it and you help the Cuban people make money and that's why we went there that's the thing we checked off why are you going to Cuba to support the Cuban people that was on your checklist that you have to pick one oh okay you guys had to support the Cuban we said that you're supposed to pick to support the Cuban people nice that's the one you so will prostitution no no prostitution that would be supporting them that would be supporting them but no so be supporting them, but no. So we, this lady's like, I know, come with me. I'll take you to the... so she takes us off the main touristy drag into what I can only say is the hood and it's hood.

Garbage, shit, shit on the street everywhere. People everywhere. You everywhere, everywhere. You call this a vacation? Yes. Okay. So then all of a sudden, she leads us into this room on the first floor with this guy that looks like, you know, somebody Steven Seagal

would have to take out in a movie. Okay. I mean. Square jaw. I can only say he's pumpin' nickel. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay? Yeah.

Shorts, flip flops, stomach out. Okay. Hey, come on in, Sagat, we're going to the, he literally, they- Were his eyes super white? Teeth were perfect. Did he look orco? Remember orco from He-Man?

Jet black, which is bright white eyes? Yes. That's what I'm gonna start calling dark black people with bright white eyes. Orco. They kind of shuffle us into his house, into his little room. He has a room on the first floor in the middle of the hood.

And I look to the left and there's a little moped. His moped is in his house, in his bed. And Ari's talking to him. He's scamming Ari. He has a table of shitty Cubans. Well, Ari's Jewish, so he had that coming. He did not. Okay.

Not what this guy did. Okay. This guy was like, and Ari didn't bring anything. Ari brought a pair of socks, couple shirts. No cash? Canadian. He brought Canadian cash. Nobody wants that, not even Cuban people want Canadian.

Okay. They were like, ugh. He goes, how much Canadian? He's got Canadian. They were like, ugh. He goes, how much Canadian? He's got Canadians. So the guy's like, he's 150, 170. He's like, no, it's 10 cigars. He's trying to get me to buy boxes of this shit cigar. I pick one up, I'm like, this is garbage.

It's like he rolled it yesterday in the back with like shit from his feet. I'm like, I just. What's Cuban feet? I'm like, I just. It's Cuban feet. It's, I step back out of this place and I'm sitting there and he's, I can't, I'm too nervous to, I have to take care of myself at this point and not.

So this is not always, it's always out of your control. Already is out, he's over there dealing with this guy. I was trying to say, hey man, this is not, no, no. You buy the cigars or we take your friend's leg. Right, so I look in the corner, Christine has the video of a... It's a video, I look in the corner, Azari's being scammed, of...

It's Voodoo. It's fucking a... And you just stand there, like, facing away. It's the one on the top left You just face away like the Blair Witch kid I left! Look at this This is 26 minutes into the trip

Jay this is Bobby's vacation There's a Voodoo doll Look at this In the corner And there's a drape over one of them So whatever he's hiding must be a head or some type of foot Yeah, there's something in those bins Yes, you can't get word to the authorities

They'll go away. So do we're in this guy's house. He's got this voodoo. I leave I step out Why are you in his house again? Because they told us that's where the festival was. At a guy's house. We were there to support the Cuban people, Jay. It's Pitbull Fest. And the festival. Where's it at? Juan's house? The festival was only until 5 o'clock today.

The Casa Festival. So we had to go and do the festival because it was going to be done soon. And get the cigars to help the Cuban people. There was a house festival? A kid and play had? There's no festival, Jay. Oh, there is no festival.

It's a scam. Every single day that they were there, somebody would come up and be like, the festival. By Wednesday or whatever, we were like, yeah, all right, whatever. But today, we were were like festival sounds fun So we went into this fucking guy's place and I already dropped 130 Canadian on what should have cost maybe Which is like six or seven American dollars six eight Maybe ten at the most sure for a box of these garbage cigars so already had to buy them Buddy, I walked away. I could at the festival at a guy's house We are buying cigars with a voodoo doll.

The festival? Why? What... You were like, we should go to Cuba because... Not that. That wasn't what you were like. We should go to Cuba because that place. No. Because Santeria. I didn't know there was Santeria.

I didn't know that Major League was gonna be... I didn't know that there was gonna be Santeria. I didn't understand what was happening. Did you understand Ari would sleep on a palm leaf like a bug, he doesn't care. I know and here's the thing. You're an adult who gives a shit about himself. He goes, all right let's take a walk,

we're gonna go to the Potagus factory. But the Potagus, it's a cigar place and it's the factory and you can walk to it. I should say you said Patagus like everybody knows. Potagus. Potagus. Potagus, I believe. Potagus, were you aware of that one, Jacob?

It's pronounced Potagus. Potagus. But you're aware of it. Yes. Black Lou, are you aware of it? I did not know that word at all. Potagus. DJ Lou?

No, and I'm bilingual. Christine? In that essential tone. I know this through Kirby Allison. Well, that's okay, Jacob, because you're going to be the only person in this little round that's not going to be getting themselves. That's not for you. That's for Black Lou. DJ Lou. Oh, sorry. Hang on. DJ Lou, come in hot.

Christine, get that over there for us for yourself. Take a jib and flyer. So, dude, he's like, all right, it's over here. So we walk 45 minutes through the hood and it gets worse and worse And there's I mean, listen, can you flag down like a rooster filled car or something? We could have got a cab, but we were like trying to just see the city. Okay We could have got one of those, you know, 1953 Ford convertibles. Yeah, let's go. So But he was like now let's just walk walk. We walked and walked and walked.

In the middle of, every guy that you saw looked like he was gonna kill you. You took a trip that two men are only supposed to take when they're going to retrieve a family member who's gotten taken away. It's a, buddy, where we went the first. They should be, everywhere you go you should be holding up a picture of Jeremy Piven

and ask him if they've seen this guy Have you seen this guy look at him? He might not mean nothing you be mean something to me Jacob that's a good laugh take yourself a pivot flyer buddy. That's a good laugh right there. I mean you feel good about my joke So we go all the way down in this place We finally get there and by the time you get there you're're like, thank God, thank God, we get there. Like I told you, I didn't wanna just say no. So we, it was closed. So we went around the corner to this HP Upman,

who's another cigar place, and we couldn't find it. Is that a famous cigar place also? Famous cigar place, right around the corner. Jacob? I don't know that one. Okay. Upman, famous cigar place. Jacob, welcome back to the crew.

Hibbin' flyer. So, so, so, we get in there, and again, another guy comes up, amigo, amigo. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, we're trying not to get into a fucking house again. But this guy helped us into the place, and it was beautiful, this cigar lounge. It was like-

Finally, you weren't sent to your untimely demise Yes, we walk in finally. I see that uh you see those walls lined with skulls It's like behind that But you don't even know the worst of it. I bet so we go there We want to walk this is your first couple hours there first couple hours there. You're already on a fucking hike To terrifying Cuba. It's terrifying we go all the way back home I'm walking the problem me I'm walking head down Cuban face you know my kind of you know sure you could pull that off maybe wait maybe we're one of those like TJ Lou hats yeah

yeah right I'm like walking like I'm Cuban. I'm walking like I'm Spanish. He's what he's watching your thumbs are up You know, it's moving shoulders. I'm trying to be as alfie alfaro as I can He's walking around like he's some Jewish Yenther in the Grove. Of course. He's Stopping at windows everything. He's so expensive He's like looking around like stopping at a shop with a vacuum a chicken and a fucking ham really stretching my Canadian dollar But I'm like alright, so we finally make it back to the casa well like all right kit We get dressed we get ready and we go out to the Buena Vista Club Which is beautiful. But again, what is it? It's the second video.

And he. But what is Buena Vista Club? It's Cuban music. So you go there. Oh you went to a dance club? Yeah, Positrail. You guys look like assholes. So he wants to go here.

So am I right? Let's go. So we go to this really nice restaurant that Obama went to. But again, you're driving. We got a cab this time, thank God, because the owner was like, you don't want to walk there at night.

Take a cab. So the owner God, because the owner was like, you don't want to walk there at night. Take a cab. So the owner of the Acasa was my guy. I would ask him the questions in front of Ari, so he would, Ari wouldn't believe me. He'd be like, come on, we're fine. This guy was like, no. You want to take a cab to that place. Because when you're pulling up, it's in,

you got little kids just sitting. Don't go somewhere where you have to be aggressively warned by local lore We pull up to this place and everyone's telling you they're coming you like the Pet Cemetery guy like fucking Jed They're coming either going don't go over there. You know what it looks like it looks like Call of Duty You know when they're fighting, I don't play first-person games So we pull up and it's hell outside, but then you walk in and you go up the stairs and it's beautiful That's like nyx roast beef in philly. You could have had that same experience in philadelphia

It's a fucking crazy violet side, but inside nyx roast beef. It's a white safe haven of delicious meat This place was beautiful. We get up there the band is you know, he's like, you know Waiting for the band or whatever. They had some shitty openers playing flute and shit. It sucked. Anyways, the band comes out. They're amazing. It's these people.

They go around, he gets smashed. They give him a drink. Ari's fucking smashed eight minutes into the night. He's just, he's feeling it. He's getting turnt up. By the end of the night, dude, they're playing, they ask us where, everybody where they're from, and they bring bring a flag up on the top and they play

A song from that country. Okay, and they someone yells out Czech Republic and he starts yelling out hasn't been a country for ten years I'm like shut the fuck up. Are you that out? Yes. Nice. He's young enough. Oh good. Good So then the yells out the United States they bring up the flag. I look over Ari This is I look over they stop playing this video he the woman They stopped they have the American flag up. They're playing this music and then Ari I look over I Got no need no problems any BJ won. I look over Ari's dancing with the lady Buddy she's smoking and I mean he's he knows how to dance what buddy look at that what she knows come on buddy can you do that she knows what

dance and he's doing his best can I do? Can I do what's happening up there? You know, you know, Bobby? No, I couldn't. I couldn't be that uncoordinated with my body. I can't pretend to fuck up that bad. Hey! Christine, will you please tell Bobby that I could dance way better than this?

You're a better dancer than Ari. Are you being sarcastic? No. You have rhythm. Piven flyer. But Ari's not doing bad. Ari's having fun. Oh is he not? He's not doing bad. He's dancing pretty good? Give me the flyer back. Flyer back. So we do this. God I love this kind of power. Wait can I send this out? So yes. So we do this. God, I love this kind of power. Wait, can I send this out? Yes. So we're doing, I mean, dude, we're going from what the fuck to this shit, which is

fun, having a blast. Well, you guys survived this, so every day's a gift now. Ari will find time to dance every day to celebrate the Lord who saved him this fateful day. So dude, we go back, we go back, we take the cab back. The good thing about Cuba, you tell a guy, hey, ten bucks, bring us here. We'll be done at 11, pick us up. And they're waiting right out front. They're fantastic. Great people, cab drivers are great.

Come out, the guy's waiting for us, he drops us back off. And again, it's like 12 at night now, and Ari's, he wants to go walk around. I'm like, haven't we done enough, like, scary shit today? So now we're walking around at night. He's like, but now it's scarier. So the next day... We haven't seen it this scary yet. So the next day, we get this, the guy's like,

hey, listen, there's a tropical storm coming. And we're like, all right, okay, is that bad? He goes, well, we gotta wait, but I'm gonna probably have to remove, because you go in the courtyard, there's a fountain, there's trees, there's tables on the top, there's all the plants, and he really, it's really beautiful.

I gotta take all this down. All of it goes away. So he has a bunch of guys just making this place not fun, all day long. And then, so we're like, okay, so what are we gonna do? He goes, listen, we don't know what it's gonna be, I gotta wait.

So during the day, he's like, all right, now it's a hurricane, it's a one. It moved up to a hurricane. It's not a tropical story anymore. So I go, okay. Then he comes back, it's a two. Nice. And's not a tropical storm anymore. So I go, okay. Then he comes back, it's a two. Nice. And then he goes, all right, listen guys, it's a three.

But a soft three. This is like an hour and a half, right? And we're like, what does that mean? He goes, we're going to lose power. You need to get supplies and the government will shut down, is probably gonna shut down Cuba. So we're like, what? So.

This is day one or two? This is day two. Day two. Day two. So now we have to go, we have to go get, like, the whole town is trying to get stuff. So we have to go and get supplies now.

So we have to go on the street and get stuff to eat and survive for however long Because we're like how long he's like well the last one was four days with no power Since you've been home from this you've called it a vacation to me You're like all that what a vacation stop calling it that well. I mean here's the thing Spiritual journey would be make more sense than that You were, you know, a test of will, perhaps. Maybe it's a test of will. So we gotta split up, like, he's gotta go get bread. The bread lines are like two hours long.

Yeah. We gotta go get queso. We gotta get some type of cheese. Cheese lines, you know, you can't find find cheese cheese lines. We can't get egg What's a cheese line? What did the tickets come So what does it cost to go there not much? So so we're in line. I'm in line for cheese. He's trying to get bread. There's no bread

I he I line for cheese, he's trying to get bread. There's no bread. He found cheese, I got, I think it was him. He found cheese? Yeah, he found cheese. Because all the stores are in like little stores, you have to go around the neighborhood. And there's a line that people are trying to get this stuff, you know? You've never fought for cheese before, Jay?

I have to say, I'll be honest with you. I've never gotten in the cheese line before. So I'm trying to find- I usually just grab my cheese with the rest of my groceries at a grocery store. So I buy- Grocery cost. I buy what I'm pretty sure was ham.

It was a big thing of meat, so I was like, give me that. You trusted the meat? But we were not- Well, I'll tell you, Bobby, before you think it didn't do anything to you about whatever you're gonna tell us about all your food adventures, the inside of your stomach has been talking as much as you've been talking on this show I haven't recovered it's like a it's like a something. It's a calling out your lies or something

So we got we had to get candles we had to get a bunch of stuff for however long this was gonna last We had to get candles. We had to get a bunch of stuff for however long this was gonna last So the power goes out we can guys think about gay sex at any point. No, not yet Not at this point So from the time they said they're hurt do they turn the power off? So it doesn't blow out because that's what happened in New York is they didn't turn it off and it blew I don't know. I was kind of thinking that I don't know if they did that but it went out Did you go in your casa balcony and yell at God when the storm came Dan no we so we got all our food we went back and then we had to spend the night

Like in the dark and the Sun goes down and it's like being in the woods It's you can't see the hand in front of your face And you can't leave you can't go out into the street because we're in the middle of the cell canes happening currently that point hurricanes supposed to come that night comes the next day hits hits us and I mean we got water coming through the door they had to barricade our doors really yeah I was it was crazy they had to put like metal pipes across the door water was coming through we had to put socks in Ari's door wells because the water was coming through from the terrace. And then we just kind of hid out in this hallway

for the night with candles. But me, you know me. It's funny, when I look, Gate One Travel doesn't have like on this part of any of their excursions or river cruises. Wait, so you couldn't sleep in your beds? You just had to like sit in this hallway all night? Well, we went back at some point, but we all kind of you're up. So we we went out to the hallway

Where everybody the whole everybody in the casa was kind of in the hallway Smoking and talking you know not just everyone The guy who owns the casa him his wife and his baby and his uncle his uncle sleeps in a room in the back Wait, so you're just renting a room in someone's house. It's not like a yeah you're staying with a family like a exchange to the family but What happened at one point this way honey get the kids? This is our new stranger from another country in our house

Oh, there was another lady saying that hey be nice to our guests get them socks for their doorways There was another lady. Well at some point we were out on the thing and we're hanging out and this woman from Transylvania I think she was fat skinny Fat and then skinny and then fat like she had thin legs fat thighs and then skinny and then fat. Like she had thin legs, fat thighs, a fat stomach, a thin waist, huge tits. How do you have a fat stomach and a thin waist? She, I don't know, she was a...

It's one of those bellies that flops over. She came out and she was like, I have sausages! She came out with just a stick of sausages and rich crackers that were amazing. They weren't like a mess. Wait, did she mean... She had sausage, a big thing of sausage. But she meant.

Like on a stick? She had a sausage. But like pepperoni or a salami. She had a big salami from, oh she was from Romania. Sorry, Romania. But she was. She brought it with her? Yeah, she brought all her food with her.

Yes, here's my armpit sausage. So she came out and she was just, I mean, fucking crazy. You know, like, fucking this country sucks. The food here stinks. She was just trash and cube the whole time. Apparently she's been in there for like four days. She just never came out of her room. So she heard us and she came out and hung out with us

the night of the hurricane. You were there for a whole day without any idea she was there. But here's the problem. We all, we have the water gets from the sewer, from the water source into a big tank and then gets shot up to the top of the casa and then we all have water tanks for our rooms. But our water tank with her was, they were together. She didn't have a shower, she had a bath.

So this bitch took a bath and washed all her dishes. So we had no water to shower or take a shit. And this is what's gonna fuck you up when you poop. This is whole thing so far. Sounds like a goddamn nightmare. He goes, now here's where things start going a little left for us. I mean, we've vacationed with Ari.

It's much nicer than this. No, you have to direct him. Yeah. So when you take a poop, you have to wipe and then put it in the barrel. You can't flush the toilet paper in Cuba. They call it a barrel there, too? El Baricho?

Trash can. Sorry, I apologize. You don't have to apologize. You can't flush your poop wipes. Why can't you? You have to, because you can't. How will they know it's you? The sore can't, I know what you're thinking,

but the sore can't handle it, it'll clog up. So you have to wipe and then wrap it and put it in the barrel. It can't handle toilet paper. No. So if you pee, like girls have to wipe when they pee, you have to put that in a barrel. Put it in the toilet paper. No. So if you pee, like girls have to wipe when they pee, you have to put that in a barrel. No paper. No.

Everything goes in the, so you're just in the, Did you just call it barrel? No. She did. Did I? You did. And I'm telling you, you're lucky as, Jay, here.

Did you get it back? I had two. Oh, give me another one back. Give that, her one for me, please. That's for you for calling it a barrel. I like controlling the people. You're right. Those are you. I was up to you.

You're going down. You're going for a couple of weeks this month. So I'd like to. Yeah, I think you're going very controlling when you're gone. Really? When you're gone, I have to control what can only be described as an unruly riffraff crew. So I thought maybe a reward system of Jeremy Piven performing in West Nihak, New York November 8th through 9th.

I'm not gonna step on that. Do what you gotta do. I do have, if you want these, Joe List and a Dan Soda Tops card if you want to give those out. Wait, did you bring us anything? What the fuck? I was in... I had no water, electricity. You couldn't find Hang on, what? What the fuck? I was in, I had no, I had no water, electricity. You couldn't find something cute though? We had.

You had plenty of time to make a mud sculpture or something while you were sitting in your wet house. Wet casa. I got Christine one thing but I didn't bring it. I got you one thing. I might have it. I got you, it's at the house though. I got you one thing.

I know you wouldn't mind. I hope it's a venomous snake. So. I hope you have a shoebox I'll bite you in your fucking If you click on that click on that photo, I wish you would get a venomous problem on your face If one the fifth one over to the right here right there. Yeah, so this this is that's like where we were walking through I thought that's gonna be where you stayed. I was like in the ruins My god your body language says Can you zoom in on that?

It's like that. I swear to you if you just go, put this out there and see if people get upset. Go, Ari and Bobby went to Gaza. No, it was very much like that. Do hashtag Palestine rules. No. Hashtag, and call it a birth Palestine rules. No. Hashtag. I mean... And call it a birthright trip.

Birthright trip to Gaza. Now, people are living in these places, too, by the way. They are? 100%. And so you can see in the back... What fucking assholes? You're like smiling in the middle of the... No, let me tell you, I couldn't do this.

When I went to South Africa, very much they were like, hey, we're all gonna go drive... Like they do tours through the townships, which is where they make their houses out of garbage and shit, basically. And no running water. It was fucking crazy. And they do driving tours through there. And I was like, I'm not gonna go look at people

like a fucking zoo. That's crazy. But then one white girl went through, I guess a couple months before we were there, and they murdered her. Right. Well, here they murdered her. Right. Well, here's the thing. We're walking through here.

Right after this photo was taken, too, a general from the Army yelled at us, because we weren't supposed to be on the street. Right. You're actually not supposed to be vacationing anywhere where you're in constant contact with Army generals. Right, yeah. Also, a self-appointed Army general

that I don't think actually belongs to any kind of Army, but he had the outfit and a gun So did an army general just came up to you on this Yeah, you well well you shouldn't be here. It's illegal to be on the streets during the hurricane They shut that we were on the beach Ari was like let's go to the water. That's a beach in front of us is the ocean that's the Marie-Corn and Monte-Corn yeah, it's been gay no

I might be saying wrong. It's my dick on my You are saying it wrong and that explains why the rest of the trip went the way it did I can't tell people I kept pointing and saying Marty Khan and then they would stick their dicks in my mouth Well in front of us is the ocean and that's like the board They call it the boardwalk all the way it goes all the way from the San Francisco little terminal all the way, it goes all the way from the San Francisco little terminal all the way up to the hotel, the Godfather Hotel, the Hotel Nacional. And we were trying to walk up there

because the hurricane was coming but it wasn't here yet. But it was illegal to be on the streets at that point. So he was like, you gotta go, get back to where you are, you cannot be on the streets or you get arrested. This picture looks like, this picture honestly looks like Ari broke you out of a hospital to take you on your bucket list trip. I want to see people who have it worse

than a man dying from stage four cancer. Jay, give yourself one of those pivots. One pivot for me. So, dude, it came, like, go to the, this is how dark it was. So, so, so. Yeah, where's the sun? Isn't it allowed to be there?

So, okay, so now this is crazy. So we go through the. Do we not give Cuba the sun because it's American? No, no. Because the sun's American? I'll tell you what, Cuba is, had the, it was supposed to be Vegas. Before, before Fidel, you know, the revolution,

it was about to be Vegas, before Vegas. Cuba was, I mean, it was one of the hottest spots to vacation for Americans. We're 13 miles away, we were, sugar cane, coffee, cigars. Dirty Dancing Part Two. I'm telling you, it was about to be, it was gonna be nuts. It was gonna be insane. hotels there were insane the casinos

We would just go there all the time and party there Americans. That was their destination spot But when Fidel took over that's when you and Ari make plans Well, he just said communist government now, let's check how much those tickets cost. He just said, this is all mine. Goodbye. Goodbye. He was full of the people. And America, all the billionaire people that invested in Cuba were like, fuck you, get our money back.

And they were pressuring Kennedy to go in there. That was the Bay of Pigs, where he sent in a small army of Cuban, you know. Missile crisis? No, that was after. That was after. I'm just saying words I know go together. Well, what happened, we should have went over

and just did what we do and take it back, but we didn't, we sent like 1,400 guys, they got captured, we got found out, we were trying to not be. Five of them were gay, because it was don't ask, don't tell. And then it was just done. And then when that happened, they tried to assassinate Fidel,

the CIA, he went to Russia for help, because he had nothing coming in, no money coming in. Russia, he became best friends with the president of Russia. And that's when they decided Russia was like, okay, you have nukes in Turkey facing us, we're going to put nukes in Cuba near you, 13 miles off the coast of the US, and that was the Cuban Missile Crisis,

which people don't know that we were literally 12 hours away from a nuclear war. We were this close, and one thing that Kennedy did changed the course of everything. And one, I think, admiral on a submarine, they were on a submarine and they solved it. They figured it out. They made a deal, the US and Russia, but the submarine didn't know that. They thought they were at war.

And you need four people to be able to push the button. Three of them were like, push it. It's a war. They were about to launch the nuke Three of them would push it. It's a war. They were about to launch the nuke out of the sub to America, and that would have been over. Because we would have just launched, they would have launched, and we would have been fired.

The East Coast would have been gone. And one of the guys was like, no, I can't do it. And you need the fort. They didn't do it, thank God, within hours of pushing that button, and they didn't do it. That was the Cuban Missile Crisis. after that it's fucked all these reasons I think you're still batshit to have gone there but for the history lesson pivoting flyer

It was good you had so many I know right doesn't it build anticipation in the room so so we're see DJ Luke he's looking over his computer. He's like how many more than He was looking to clock one if he has time more time to earn them So we're seeing. I see DJ Lou keeps looking over his computer. He's like, how many more of them, Pippen flyers does he got? Do I have, he keeps looking at the clock, wondering if he has more time to earn them. Yeah dude, if you look at Cuba back in the day, it was so amazing. I mean. Right, you should have went there then.

So all these. In the 40s. All these cars, these are rich people, a lot of rich people lived in Cuba. So when they left, they all left, they left their cars there, took their keys. Cause they, in their brains, we'll be back in a month when the US- Oh, I thought they were like Hispanics

know how to steal cars, so they'll be fine. Well, the government took all of the cars, and they just, a lot of the cars, you see like a screwdriver in it because they just, they never came back. So they just had to leave their cars, all their wealth, everything was just left there. That's what those cars are from.

Those are from rich Americans that lived in Cuba back in the day, in the 50s, when it was like Vegas. You know, with the right light makeup work and some fake stuff, you could have dressed Ari up different and told people he was Fidel Castro. That was the beach right there. That's the beach we were walking. Really?

Why was it a war-torn Fallujah behind you then? It is. All beach in front. Zoom why was it a war-torn Fallujah behind you then It is all beach in front zoom in on those war torn Fallujah behind you Yeah, look at look at the if you zoom in on those buildings They're all they're all worth. It's like they're all dilapidated because they can't they don't have any money They we gave them all their money and you went there for cigars. Well, I went there for the experience of what I Guess of this. What do you bear grills? We had so we're gonna prove to somebody listen. You're not Donnie Dust. Okay, every vacation You take you don't have to survive it You're supposed to enjoy it

So the day the day The day after the hurricane we're still it we have no water. We have no lights It's out. And we're like, when does it come, he's like, it may be four days. It's probably after you leave, you'll get electricity. You know, last time it was four days. So we're just like, all right, fuck.

So we gotta do all our shit during the day. So Ari's like, all right, I wanna go to this record store. So I'm like, what? So I'm thinking there's gonna be a storefront. It doesn't exist. It's a guy's house. Buddy, we're walking around this area, looking for this record store. We're looking at the building, we're like, this is one of those dilapidated buildings.

And then you look in the hallway and there's records going up this fucked up staircase on the wall. And the guy's like, you know, in here, you want records? In here. So we walk up to the third floor of this house, that's all messed up, and we have to walk through somebody's living room. Why is every event you did sounds like a trap? Until it happens. So do it. A series of catacombs, and there, and only there, were you able to get a good burger.

Did I send you the photo? So look at the last photo on the right. The streets are all like this. The last photo that right there. This is the streets right here. It's just trash. She's went there to document their filth. This is well, no, this is like after the hurricane.

It was just trash. Real nice supporting of the Cuban people. Did you help rebuild the Casa? No, we didn't do it. That was supported the Cuban people. But where is the one? Did I send it to you? Okay, so we go up to this record store. We have to walk through this lady's living room with a baby, some guy that looked like he was going to kill us, and then some young girl. We're walking through this living room and they take us into this room with

records Just it looks like somebody's living room with records and all this old shit and it's it's like dilapidated and all messed up Dilapidated sorry Should have went to the fucking beach off of Normandy over there and fucking, you should've done what Cubans do and gotten a fucking inner tube

and just hope to God you landed back in Florida. This is everything you sent me. All right, I'm gonna send you this one because I'm in this, he's buying records, I'm sitting there just, I'm Denzel Washington in this thing. I'm looking for weapons. Keeping your head on a swivel? I literally face myself towards the,

with a wall in my back of me and I had four things that I was gonna kill people with. One of them was a crucifix, another crucifix. No guns. Okay. We have no guns, we have nothing. No guns, a shitty cigar. Here it is, here it is. I'm sending you this right now.

You got a loaf of bread and some Gs. Open your MacGyver together with that. It's the third one in, I already sent this to you. Okay, so now wait, so that's the one, you can click it but don't click. Wait! So I'm sitting there waiting for him to get this together, to get his little thing together, to get by his records, because he wants to buy Cuban music.

And I'm sitting there, you know, keeping guard in this, with three stories up into this, in the hood, and I'm keeping guard, and then I hear, chomp, chomp, chomp. I'm like, like literally shh, right behind, chomp, chomp, chomp. I'm like, what the fuck is that? I put my, I don't wanna look,

cause I see a hole in the wall behind me. I just put my phone around the corner to see what it is. And this is what I saw. In the third story, in a hole in the wall that they made a room. Psh. There's a full, I could say what, a 200 pound hog? But that's their pet. No, that's their dinner. There's a full, I could say what, a 200 pound hog?

But that's their pet. No, that's their dinner. That's for dinner. Oh my gosh, they said that? Yeah, that's right. They're raising it to eat it. Yeah, they're gonna eat that, yeah. Oh, that's right, everything Cuban's pork, right? I mean, it's so cute.

They make those sandwiches. Yeah, it was cute. And to the hurricane, that thing's a sandwich now. Black Lou, fantastic work over there getting Bobby on video making that pig sound that's gonna get you a pivot fire Look at Ari look I'm sitting in the corner guarding I see this pig and then Ari's just I was just going through Cuban records with this lady Look at the good food Phil Collins no jacket required Look at how do you even know about this place? He found it. He's Ari. That's what he does. Okay, he finds these places

So he winds up getting all these records and we wind up getting the hell out of there as soon as you walk out some Little kid came up and grabbed give me record. He wanted a record I don't know what the fuck give me record right so then did you beat him to death? No, we walked away Right. So then... Did you beat him to death? No. We walked away. That's it? You just walked away? I just said, no. No. It just dawned on me that they have record players.

That's how they would listen to music. Yeah. That's all they have. They have record players. If a kid here would nod and say, give me a record. They haven't been introduced to the compact disc yet. Buddy, there's no TV. Like, we didn't watch TV. We had no TV.

We had... Internet was gone. He had Internet in the place.. We had no TV. Internet was gone. He had internet in the place. No internet, no phone. Phone doesn't work. Credit cards don't work. No TV. Did you jerk off next to each other? No, not next to each other.

I did jerk off in the blackout. Where? Next door, he had no idea? No, we had two rooms. We had a two-bedroom casa. So he had his room, I had my room. Sounds like you had several bedroom casas because you were staying in a person's house.

You're calling it a casa, but you guys just had bedrooms in another grown man's house with his family. Yes, with his family and their uncle. And then there was people on the roof too. This is crazy. There was an Italian couple over there too. So you're eating exclusively bread and cheese. Bread, cheese, and I did because I- sitting in a hallway to avoid being in a wet room Well, the thing is is because of me because you know

Ari just brings a couple shirts and a sock and some flip-flops and I brought battery chargers. I brought freeze-dried hiking food I had mac and cheese I had I Had a beef stroganoff. I brought charges, I brought a. You brought that with you? I brought, dude, when I travel out of the country, I bring all kinds of shit you think you're not gonna need. Are you allowed to bring food like that? You can bring freeze-dried food, yeah.

To another country? Yeah, no. I'm a talent in my brain. I just bring it in. If they take it, they take it. Who gives a shit? You would've. But I had.

When the storm hit, and you didn't have your fuckin' spaceship mac and cheese. So dude, we're on the roof and it's like another night of darkness. It's kind of getting like, all right, whatever. And we're sitting there watching. Hey, let me see the next photo. Did you leave early? No, the airport was done.

You couldn't leave. Couldn't get out. You had to just go through it. Christine, the airport was done. You couldn't leave. Couldn't get out. You had to just go through it. Christine, the other photo... You were trapped on a quote-unquote vacation. All right, the photo to the left. I would have rather been trapped on the Carnival cruise ship that was covered in people's shit.

No, not that one. The other one. That one. The whole time he's telling you stories, and I keep thinking, Bobby has money, gorilla tape to his person the whole time. I had. Because you can't not have it on. You have to keep it on you. We had a safe in the room. Oh yeah.

That he. Oh, well you're fine then. No, but he had a key for it. Oh, good. Because I forgot the combination. He's like, let me get the key. I'm like, all right, this is safe. But.

For your belongings, right in here. So if this is how dark it was at night. This is on the roof. I don't know if you can play the sound Alright so I'll go to the next one go to the other one go to the other one Oh, no, no good go to okay click on the other one to that one that one The other one is when me and are you gonna know a fight nice there we go. Yeah turn this one up So this is us on the roof. I believe right me click It's night to you of the blackout.

That's how dark it was. That's true. On the roof. Yeah, what do you see? Total darkness. You can't see. We're looking at a blank. Anything.

And then. There's no generators anywhere. There's a generator at the government building at the end and the church up here. And the hotels had generators. But you guys wouldn't want to stay there. You want to live with a strange family. We couldn't stay at the hotels.

And it's good there was a blackout because, oh, you're actually not local, right? No, we're Americans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't take our credit cards. So instead, you have to let a man's autistic child stare at you in their sleep. But it's OK, because are you staring at them while they sleep?

So, so we're sitting on the roof and this is, we're just watching the darkness. All of a sudden in the distance, it's not, I didn't catch it, but like it looked like an explosion. Orange light just shot up in the sky. Red, there was white in the, way in the distance, just, you know, and then you hear a brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Right here, where is it? Scroll, where was it? Scroll, is that all the ones I gave you? No, that's not even it. That's not it.

She's not in the folder. To the left, bottom left, right there. Dude, all the lights came back on in the city. Like, we thought. The lights just come on. Look at. The lights, we know it's gonna happen. We fucking know.

That probably was a great feeling. Buddy, it's, I can't explain, like, we take for granted. Because you want to see the water you're drinking and showering in is brown. Look at that. Look how beautiful that is. We, the feeling, we take for granted all the shit we have in America. Everybody bitches about this. Yup. But just. I will, I will never live somewhere where, we take for granted all the shit we have in America.

Everybody bitches about this. Yup. But I will never live somewhere where I don't have to take for granted my fucking electricity. Buddy, when this came back, the feeling that went in me, like, oh my God. Sure.

AC's back on. You know, water. No, I've had that before. I've had a... Water coming back on. It was like, oh my God, we were so happy. The whole neighborhood was screaming. Everybody went out on their balconies

and were like screaming and yelling. Everybody, the rapists, the terrorists. So we immediately get dressed. We immediately, let's go out, we're out, we're going out. We put on our clothes, we start walking down the street. We follow like people, they're going to this place, they walk through this beautiful square. You just blindly go where everybody goes.

Then next thing I know we're in another guy's house. And it's just me and Ari. So we find this restaurant and they're playing, I don't know, disco music, whatever. They're playing music, there's all kinds of people eating and drinking. Next door is an Italian restaurant. I'm like, this is great, let's stay here.

It's right near where we were, where we're staying. It's not too far. So Ari sees down the street, he walks down the street and there's not lights on. He walks down there and he goes, I don't think that, I don't know if there's lights on everywhere. So he walks back. He goes, this isn't the vibe. I go, what? He's like, this isn't the vibe. This isn't it. I don't, let's find somewhere else. I go, buddy, we were just in a blackout for two and a half days like this is great. Let's just stay he's like no It's not the vibe. I want a different vibe. I don't I hate disco music. I Was like who gives a fuck?

But my thing was okay if he wants to go let's go so I go alright Let's go so we start walking up the street and as we're're walking, it starts to get darker and darker and darker until we realize there's not lights everywhere. It's only in our neighborhood that we're in, which is like the historic neighborhood. As we walk further away, he wants to go to this Margarita bar where Hemingway went, which is a Frida, what is it, Little Florida,

whatever it is, it's like this famous bar But it's far and it's down towards the middle of town and we're walking in complete darkness now In the hood and you can hear people can't see them. Why don't you just not do it? Well, we got to the point no like when you got to the delineation at the line of darkness to light Why didn't you go like oh, I will not walk into of darkness to light, why didn't you go like, oh, I will not walk into the darkness with you, Ari Shaffir. You could have said that. I should have. That would have gotten you a Pippin flyer, but now that you sit over there with just

one. So we're walking, and then at one point Ari's like, okay, you know what? We should go back. And I'm like, it's too late, bro. We're closer to this place than we are to where we were. I don't wanna go back through that gauntlet of darkness. Let's just make it there. We come into this park that's scary

during the day we walk through. Now there's no lights. And there's people everywhere. Like you can't see them, you just hear them. So we have to like, just, I turn into, look it, I've been beat up so much, I've been to places where I got my ass kicked, where I, that thing happens, the old Bobby,

Boston Bob comes in, and I'm just like fucking angry now. I'm mad that I'm in this situation. I should have said no. And I'm like fuck, Ari's, you know, Ari, and Ari's, you know, he's walking and talking, I'm almost like just shut up and stop what you're, I don't want them to hear your American accent. I wanna just keep our mouths shut and walk.

Relax, Bobby, we have plenty of money on us. Right, exactly. Exactly, dude. Ari. Relax, Bobby, all of your net worth is taped to your body. So, we're walking, we're kind of bickering now, we're bickering, he's like, I told you we can go back. I'm like, no, you didn't fight. You said to go back too late, and now we're walking and we're kind of bickering now. We're bickering. He's like, I told you we can go back. I'm like, no, you didn't fight.

You said to go back too late. And now we're fighting. Cause he doesn't want to give an inch. I don't want to give. And then all of a sudden a guy walks up to him. Hey, where are you from? And he, you know, I'm like, fuck. Don't talk. Let's just go.

What size shoe you wearing? So we wind up getting up to the middle of town and that's where all everybody, all these type of people are. And I leave Ari, he winds up talking to this guy about the Yankees. I'm like, what are you doing? And I go into the hotel, he comes in,

and we're having an argument, like a full-fledged argument. And he's like, hey, I said we should go back. I'm like, but too late. I go, dude, we were there, we I'm like, hey, but too late. I go dude. We shouldn't we were there We were at a place with food with music and you know, it wasn't the vibe who gives a fuck about vibe And he's yelling back at me And at some point I realized listen, this is stupid. We're here together I'm being an ass. I'm kind of being an asshole, you know that aggressive thing that happens and I was like Can you just give me five minutes to cool the fuck down because I'm scared I'm scared when I get scared I get fuck you right and I

explained that to him and he's like he's still kind of arguing I'm like dude you doing this isn't helping me fucking cut and then he was like I get you because Ari's good like that he was like you know what all right cool so we just sat there meanwhile we're in this hotel in a cigar lounge it No AC, we're just sweating and he keeps going, dude, this isn't the vibe. If he said vibe one more time, I was gonna fucking kill him. This isn't the vibe.

I know it's not the fucking vibe. All these things sound exactly like the vibe of what's been going on so far. So anyways. This isn't the vibe, I'm looking for worse. It's like when you're on Molly and you're like, we gotta go, I can't be here, we gotta go somewhere else. It's such a druggy fucking mentality.

It was coke energy, bro. And I was like, so I calm down, he calms down. We wind up talking, we're like, all right, we're just gonna go back. We pick a plan on the map, how to get back. And we have to walk through complete darkness all the way down the street to Where we were

And we do it we start walking and people yo yo yo yo amigo and they're trying to get you and they're talking It's like you got to just ignore them and the video right there next to it I think it's right next to our one or the dark. Well, yeah the first one right there that is us walking Right yeah, it's only like our sex this when you're walking back. This is walking back and It's that's how dark it is like in the street But you can hear people trying to get you your attention I want to put your like cell phone light on or anything No, yeah, she's let me get. Because if you put your cell phone on, it's like now you are that guy.

Right. So it's like, if I can't see you, you can't see me. Yeah, sorry guys, I couldn't hear you. I was wearing my expensive headphones. Ha ha ha. My thing was like, if I can't see them, they can't see me. I'd rather have that than just to put a target on me.

Hey guys, here I am with this tall fucking asshole. Oh, maybe you should have shined it up on your Look at your time. I hate that they say ghosts there So you can see you can see the light like at the end of this video I'm pretty sure you can see the light which is we're just trying to make it to this Light at the way down the end of the street Italian restaurant No, this is a church at the end kind of with the Italian restaurant. We go back, we finally make it back in complete darkness. My heart's pumping, it's terrifying. We make it back to the light, we take a right and they're playing Cuban music at the same restaurant we

were at. A live Cuban band is playing all that crazy shit. And you want to crazy thing, name of the band? The Vibe. He goes like this, he goes... He's like, this is the Vibe. And I was... So you guys just traversed two miles of dangerous... So you just hung out for... Sorry. Exactly. We just went through hell.

We could have just stayed ten minutes and the band would have showed up. Vibe would have came back. And the Vibe would have been into it And the vibe would have been there, dude. And then we smoked cigars, we had a meal. Let me tell you something. We had a lot of fun, dude. We went to... What'd you eat?

When? That pig? Yeah, so far there's been zero fun. We went to an amazing restaurant. I mean, the food is not that good. We went to amazing restaurant. And then the food is not that good is how we followed it up. Yes, and also it was not that good. I mean, it's good, but it's not like, you know, here.

When you go to, like, the best restaurant here in New York City. The best cigar you've ever smoked was not on this trip? No. When we went to... We went to the Hotel Nacional, where The Godfather was shot. Remember, in Cuba? Never saw it. You never saw the Godfather was shot member in Cuba never saw it You never saw the Godfather 2 are too. No way through any of them though. What? Yeah, I mean I got it. I get it. You've never seen the Godfather 1 and 2 no, but I get it

I mean quiz me the horse head in the bed. Sonny gets shot at the thing. No, that's one Oh, no, I'm saying God. I never saw any of them Sonny gets shot at the thing. Nope, that's one. Oh no, I'm saying Godfather. I never saw any of them. Meaning they're overrated. Godfather 2, there's a scene. Wow.

Godfather 2, there's a scene where De Niro and Pacino overlap on a scene. I know an Italian friend who really loved that. That's Pacino plays young. I mean, De Niro plays young Don Corleone. I know. I get it. That's the scene. It's out there. On the deck. That's the scene right there. That's on the roof of Hotel Nacional.

Yeah, the famous hotel scene. And we went there. Churchill used to go there. There's a bar, Churchill Bar. We got Cubans. I bought a few cigars there. We wound up smoking out in the court. It was, look, it's like going back in time when you go to some of these places. Yeah, why? Okay, but I love the 50s, I love that era. And we went, you know, it is a little, it's a little, you know, so the last night

we went to the bar he wanted to go. Down in Darkville? Floridita. Floridita, all the lights came back on the next day in the whole town, so we went to Florida. They had a Cuban band, you got a margarita, I got a virgin margarita. We saw people dancing, it was fucking fun.

Then we went down to this street where we were staying and there was a drag show, karaoke. They took over the whole street. A drag show? Yeah. Even in the third world, these people find time to fucking strap their dick and balls to their butt cracks and go fucking dance for strangers?

Listen, she didn't really try too hard. Let's put it that way. She was just going, you know. You saw her honker? No, she was just singing like a dude. You'll be swell. You'll be great. Gonna have your whole world on a plate.

Yeah, we had, I mean, we had a great great time was that Jacob you want to jerk me off how? Okay, I don't think I'm gonna come fast from that but I'll we'll take a break and you could try I guess I Want to hear the rest of this trip when we get back. This is Bobby's Fucking what do you call this the debriefing as you come back in the country's international spy who found out what we'd all suspected Cuba sucks dick it's a horrible country of stupid fucking people no no no the people were amazing I'm sure but your trip was terrible was it really cheap yeah if you

knew how to haggle oh yeah why don't you haggle with people they're calling you amigo in the dark We'll be right back everybody Bobby Kelly's home And you can see him if you'd like in Wichita November 15th in Fort Smith, Arkansas November 16 That's this weekend coming up, right? Please come after that Mars Plains, New Jersey Beacon, New York and Kansas City all on deck You can catch Bobby every Tuesday night at 7 p.m And the fat black pussycat lounge at the Comedy Seller for tickets and all of his tour dates punch up dot live Slash Robert Kelly. I got a punch-up now. I know you did man, and it's awesome

Yeah, they just coming up with the app now too. Yeah. You'll be able to go on and just mail your fans in each town direct right to the email when you come in links it's so good man I'm so glad you got that. Big Jay Oka-Soul. Well you finally sold me. Listen you bought heavy into the company you're 61% shareholder. I'm not why do you have my belt? You gave it to me in Vegas. Oh okay that's weird. Don't you guys share belts? I told them not why do you have my belt okay that's weird don't you guys share belts I told them not to tell you I didn't know guys shared belts big jokers it will be a little comedy club this weekend November 15th and 16th I can't you were but you don't wear a belt are you you wear about every day or

my ass can't hold my fucking you had the disco belt it'll be hang on. Let me get this out been Houston Philly st. Louis for New Year's Eve Legion of skanks will be at the dojo of Comedy in New Jersey for tickets and all of the tour dates visit big J comedy comm what's your punch-up page? I? Don't know punch up dot live slash big J slash big joke Go there right now and become a member of his punch up page He'll get in touch with you'll find out where he's gonna be locally Automatically right to your phone. It's amazing and Set up good. Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome. I didn't never you can put specials up there. You can do whatever you want uncensored

They never censor anything. So if you put something on YouTube that they sent oh god finally I've been waiting to release a racist tirade I've gone on recently but it's not who you think though as long as the way Nians as long as it's funny no it'll be funny I mean not to those people I'm not gonna leave you for a long time please I'm done please stop leaving no more dangerous trips we'll be right back pasta manana it's the bonfire