The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Heartbroken by Dan Soder

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

The male producers of the Bonfire were poised to have their quarterly lunch with Dan Soder but were stood up by the talented comedian. Black Lou, DJ Lou, and Jacob were left stranded in the rain, wet with heartbreak. Dan calls in to acknowledge his fault in disappointing his old chums. | Jay had to avoid an avalanche of junk as he was driving in from New Jersey. | Jacob sparks a heated debate about which burger is better at Burger King or McDonald's. | There is yet another party in the lobby of SiriusXM and Black Lou investigates. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the bonfire with Big J. O'Crisen and Robert Kelly. Oh, where the G's at. Fresh out, fresh out the jet to the Jax where the G's at. You know that song. It just hit me. You know all these words and every little nuance of all these songs. It's just years of driving black comedians from Philly to New York to do spots. Oh, turn it up a little for a second. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Okay.

Okay. Who knows that? Okay. Why would you know any of that? It's the best bar. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Whoa. Whoa. Wow. Just make sure that it has me mouthing it over the song, though. It's so funny. Black Lugos, it's okay. It's all right.

You know what? I think there's a respect shown if a white guy knows 90% of the song. I think you're the only person in the room that knows the song Fresh shot the jet to the Jex where the G's at what you know about that Did you see uh You see Will Smith in Philly? No, what did he do? He sang uh...

Uncle Phil died. Huh? He said he had to come home. He was outside, huge crowd, and he sang one of his songs. But he's chubby now? Is he really? He's not? They just did, um, it was like another root.

thing, I think. Yeah, they did something outside. Penn's Landing. And he sang, he was singing his songs, but he's, you know, he's definitely... Bring it up. While you bring that up, can I tell you what I saw today that was crazy? No, that's not it. He was out in the street.

Can I tell you the things... In the streets of Philly. Can I tell you the things that I saw that was crazy? It's not Roots Picnic. It's not something of Philly they called it. On my way here. On the local roads by my house, that's it. I was following a cyber truck.

Yeah. for the first time I've ever seen a cyber truck with the back opened and furniture in the back. A lot of furniture in the back. And I'm like, weird. It's the first time I've ever seen it used as like a truck for hauling something. We were two miles. That's why I was almost late today. Two miles into the highway before all that furniture came flying out of the back.

I mean smashing onto the ground. I had to weave. I had to weave around it. It was crazy. He pulled up like a... I had to. I would have been smashed by a bed frame and end tables. Mid-century furniture?

No, modern shit. It was metal and wood and it just... And all of it smashing. He had to pull over probably 200 yards up. Oh, God. I don't know what that's good. But, man, I'm almost happy I had to do the weave move because I would have been fucking behind that for a long time.

Jesus. Yeah. What a dildo. It was crazy. He didn't strap any of it down? Like, none of it, I guess. He just thought that it was a cyber truck, and it sticks to the...

Oh shit, Jacob's showing DJ Lou a picture of his dick. What's going on, dude? And DJ Lou doesn't like it. What's happening? It looks like DeJ. Lou didn't enjoy it at all. Hey, I don't know. It didn't seem like it was an emergency, though. What was it?

What was it? No, I want to hear it from DJ Lou. What was it? In a quick glance, it seems like the computer I... I didn't say the N-word, okay? T.I. said it. I just mowed it. Black Lou will tell you. But you mild it with enthusiasm.

I did. I love the way they say it in that song. How do they say it? N-word what? What? N-W! What? Edward what? Anwood what?

Don't you know I got a cheap on a... I might encounter computer problems. Why? We're not attached to the satellite anymore. Satellite gave up? Like the cameras? Yeah. It's cheaply made.

Like the soap machine in the bathroom? Yes. They just have pump soap now. You know a company is going down when the electronic soap thing doesn't work anymore and they just have pump soap. I'll tell you what is happening out there. All the, in the lobby, all the things say,

serious XM fly which is the R&B rap station and I will tell you they have a smorgas board out there and I mean this connect 4 and fruit juice fruit punches did you see the fruit punches Lou can you go out there Lou and tell us what they have what the smorgas board is out there you're fly yo Lou while you're out there though extra fly hey bring back a fruit punch and also if you can find juices for yeah just a couple juices maybe a game of connect four yeah a meat pop If they have a meat pie? Oh, this is them dedicating a street to him.

Yeah, that's him out there, but he wound up singing a song. It's not the Ruth's thing, though. But he looks a little, doesn't he look a little heavy? Let's see. Look at his shirt, not that, right there. He still looks pretty good for his age. How old is he? Oh, he's got to be.

Yeah, but there's not, I mean, the crowd's not even. Is your age probably? Wow. I was singing his new song that he did. If he was, like, get jiggy with it everywhere, would be like, oh, we were kids to this. He was, I think he sang, listen. Yeah. If he did a brand new funk, it would have brought the house down.

Nobody's fucking. They started a raping and humping to something, the tippet, the chicken, and bumping, there's something. This was in 2025. Was it? Yeah, this happened already. Oh. I thought it was recent. Wow.

No, so it says right there. Oh, man. Right there where it says 2025 real big on it. He already bombed in the streets. He's not going to do it twice. Jesus, Bobby. Yeah, why would you? But I just saw this today.

I'm sorry. I came up on my feet today, and I was like, oh, God. Do you know they said, uh. He's taking a. Hot one. Out in Washington State, there's been a couple of confirmed cases now of COVID. Can you bring up that news story? Dude.

They said, on the West Coast. You know what? They said it's coming in. All right. Now, it's probably going to be nothing. It's probably not going to be anything. Let's fucking not freak out about this. Listen, when I bring stuff to the show, I don't research it.

You don't care what year it's from. Because here's the thing. We wouldn't have had that little chuckle right now. It would have just been a head and the out. And now we have a nice little chuckle. And I don't mind. from the butt of the joke. I'm fine at that. If it didn't...

Oh, good, cool. Let me do a few more. Yeah. Christine, I just saw us today, I think. You look, I think Michael Jordan is going to become a player coach for the Washington Wizards. Which is a conflict because I believe he's also a partial owner of the Charlotte Bobcats. And the Charlotte Bobcats are going to have a great season with that new draft pick they picked out. They got number one in the draft. Kwame Brown.

He's going to be everything they said. They said he's the next Jordan. First of all, Jordan's not even doing... He's playing baseball. He just started playing baseball. You're right, right. Well, no, that's the problem. Your news is a little bad.

backed up Bobby. Oh, sorry. You don't know this, but he still plays basketball. He's just fat and playing for the Washington Wizards. Oh, I thought he was playing baseball. I saw something today about him playing baseball. Now, do you find Will Smith doing the brand new funk? They started bumping and funking and shaking and bumping and moving and bribing and gromping? That's his best song. That must suck, though, as a singer to go out in your outside and just a random crowd that packs up, just that you're there. And then you start doing your shit and nobody reacts. Yeah, that's what happened to Madonna in fucking Times Square. What about happened with Wu-Tang?

We're not Wu-Tang with Methan Man Redmond. Remember they went to the, it was like some young festival? Oh, but that's a different thing. There's video of that, right? Yeah, I never seen video of that, but that's supposed to be pretty great. Yeah, but that's stupid. That's dumb young people not reacting to something. Yeah, this is, you're going home and getting, like, I'm going to go home and be there

and everybody crowds around. And that, oh. Juice? Wow, he got juice. Only one juice? Yeah, I wasn't allowed to take anymore. Damn, here, Bobby. You're the one to put it out there.

there for the juice. No, you deserve it. No, Bobby, come on, damn it. You ask for the juice. No, you're blacker than me, dude. No, but that is for a fact true, but remember, you ask for the juice right there. Yeah, but this, this, this is for you. I just worried. The problem is with the gastric sleeve, I'm not sure if you're taking enough calories a day. But the thing is, on the Mangaro, I don't know if you can actually get all this down, so I will keep it. Okay. Thank you. Good, good. God damn, I'm thirsty. Can I have some of this. Dude, take some of this. No, no, no.

Let's share it. Have your warm juice. You think they've cold it up. It's actually freezing. Yeah, it is, dude. It's ice cold. You got to take a sip of that. So cold. It doesn't feel... I'll take a whack. It's so cold.

Is it cold? No, it's not cold at all, but I want to... It's piss fucking warm. Yeah, I want to do that. God damn it. It's pissed warm. God damn it. I'm sorry.

The trickery. They're serving warm juice. That's how they treat our fucking black channels here. They only let Lou, they only let a guy named Black Lou take one juice. There's a surplus of juice up there. What are they expecting? Who's coming? That's the name of a new channel, warm juice.

Is there? What's going on out there? They have, I mean, it's awesome out there. What is it? They have all kind of food, drinks that you can ask for appetizers. Would you like to hear about some of them? Yes, but for who? Who's this for?

I'm not sure who's going to be in the fishbowl. That's what's a serious next time. Yeah, I think they're just viving right now. So wait a minute. There's food? Tons. More food than I've ever seen here. Why couldn't you get any food?

Because that's for the people that are attending the event They gave one warm juice Yeah, I actually stole that juice Oh, you stole it Absolutely It looks like a wise guy In the blackest action he could have pulled off He stole juice from serious XM fly

That's pretty badass dude Can I tell you some of the food? Yeah, please do it Can we give you a nickname warm juice? Hell yeah Barbecue what I almost wanted to stay Barbecue what?

What and cheese Banana pudding Oh, there you go Fried chicken sliders There it is Oh, that sounds good, though. They had empanadas and Jamaican beef patties. There you go.

Okay. So we know. And when I thought that was cool, broccoli, kebabs skewers. For the vegans. Hmm. Yes. And then pretty much every drink you could imagine. Kvassier?

It's not the super black drinks. Syrac. Thug passion? None of that. Thug passion? Hennessy? No, nothing hard. Damn.

They had juices, just a lot of juices? High noon. High noon. High noon. Seinides? Cricket eye juice? No, say Nides, no. Damn, remember crooked eye juice?

Damn, Bobby, you quit drinking just in time for all the cool black drinks came out. Crooked eye juice ruled. You know what I never had? I never had, like, bourbon on the rocks. I don't think you're missing anything there. I know, but I hang out with, like, all these men who, you know, they always have that tumbler with an ice cube in it, and they pour a little bit of that 12-year-old something in it,

and they sip it, and it looks... I always drank it just straight out of the bottle warm. I bought a peanut butter whiskey that I'm looking to have a fridge one day that makes those big circle cubes. Yeah. And then with that circle cube, I will have my peanut butter whiskey. Sounds good. Like, I never was able to have a, like a man drink. And then I'm going to put a cigarette out on a prostitute.

Boy, I think that comes with it. It's a very 1950s behavior. She deserves it for being a whore. Thank you for servicing me. But here's me take this home with you. Take your medicine. You should put the ice ball in her butthole, too, until it melts. Oh, and then I can put the ice ball in her butt hole.

That's a good thought. Until it melts, Jacob. Until it melts, dude. And you can't leave until it melts and then put the cigarette out on her butt. That's the game. Yeah. You either played or don't. You want to run with the big boys?

I didn't think so. You have to go down on me where I had text message to my friends with an ice ball in your butt. Somehow now it's you, Jacob. You are doing it. Now you have an ice ball in your butt and you're sucking off Bobby. I don't know how it delved into that, but I'm here. Following up with him, taking it like a man in prison yesterday. It's just follow.

This is a follow-through. Absolutely. Well, you took it like a man today when you got rejected by Dan. You got a nice hot one by Dan. I guess somebody told you. Oh. Oh, they set up their own, the Dan lunch at a fancy restaurant, the Del Frisco's fish restaurant outside. Which is very expensive, very fancy,

finally upgraded, and old Dan forgot. I even texted. He just forgot. I texted our group. I said, can't wait to gab. That is so funny. You have shorthand with your fucking Dan group? Well, it goes with the name of the group.

What's the name of the group? I don't want to tell you. Ladies who lunch. It is. It's a good name. Ladies who lunch? usual one and there's a little picture of a woman doing our nails just the nails yeah it was it was raining when we found out dan wasn't coming so it was particularly sad did it start raining right

when you found that he wasn't coming that was just about that was jacob's energy affected the weather everybody oh everybody didn't eat this morning saving up for dan's big fucking fish lunch the best part they still went and they had to pay oh you guys so he's now bullied you guys into it did say he would venmo you all cash you should have to do that like an uncle no nothing text dan he should venmo everybody how much dinner how much lunch costs you know everybody's choices on the menu changed when they found out dan wasn't coming can you call it just went from they were going to get all expensive shit and appetizing went to hey Caesar salad three please there were no appetizers text dan asked him to call in no appetizers you guys you guys you guys had to look for the cheapest thing

on the menu oh my god would you have the codet appetizer. Lou got what I got. Had amame. Hey, do you guys have any side soups? Do you think a pull-apar bread or something? You guys had to eat extra bread just to fill up because Dan's not coming? We didn't get bread.

Why? They charged for it. The waiter wasn't that nice to us either. Oh, yeah. You know why? You guys came to have water. We didn't bring out that aura to him, I guess. He found out Dan wasn't coming.

I think you might be right. There he goes, look at these sad sex. brought the rain Oh, what a On and on And you guys have nothing To talk about when Dan's not there I wonder where is Dan

You guys wound up talking business Oh Danny We talked a little shop I told some depressing stories About the restaurant I worked Danny That's so funny There were no laughs at the

Danny Not one laugh Oh, Danny Why You guys had a business Danny, I miss you I miss you Danny And it's so funny

You got to pay for you shit It was more of a team building exercise We talked about taxes and death Literally Stranded at the fish please Branded Our post jobs Where we would end up

What we're going to do after radio Depressing things We were going to have have to do after here. Oh, my God. I'm going to be a mailman. Jacob is going to get into stocks. Something.

No choice. Do you know how to do stocks? No. Well, how often my uncles did that? I took a class and I didn't understand the word they were talking about. But you're in? No, I mean, I have to do it on my own. This was my brilliant idea.

What's Black Lou going to do? Just keep slanging that dick. Oh, yeah, I'm actually going to be a stay-at-home dad. She already told me. Nice. She'll go back to work and I can stay home. Fuck, yeah. I also.

I was. would do that now. White girls. I would leave it all now if Don was like, I'm going to go to work. I would miss you guys too much. I'm fucking, call Dan, get him back. Damn.

I have another one. Oh, I'm sorry. Dan wouldn't show up. Dan has finally left everybody on this show. He could probably call in, though, to Apollo. He said, he'll call, right? He said for sure he'll call in. He's not answering.

Oh, he's going to act like he doesn't see the call? Call. Yeah, he's going to act like he doesn't. You got to call. No, listen, you got to call twice with Dan because he has that that he did some therapy thing. I don't get disturbed. He screens the calls.

So you got to call twice, you know, pick up. Therapy. Yeah. Look at Jacob, you're sad, huh? How excited were you when you went to the restaurant that he finally upgraded? Is hearing his voice going to break you? Things happen to people in life. But you guys were upgraded from Ted Montana to Oceana.

I mean, this is a... You guys could have afforded Ted Montanus. Right. Yeah. You dragged you guys out to the four seasons and never showed up. You guys actually could have got full. Yeah. He's just gives all the share of stuffed mushrooms appetizer.

No appetizers. We just got one thing. Of course you can't afford it. It's like $17 for a meal at Ted Montana. Christina's looked back and gave this. No. Wow. It's ringing.

He wants no parts. He's ringing. He doesn't want to deal with it. He knows what it is. What was his excuse? But can I just say something, Jay? He probably had a fantastic excuse. What was he excuse?

Oh, I thought you were saying he had a fantastic time. Yeah, by himself, eating a sub. Yeah. Put it with Myrtle. What was the excuse? He probably had something like he has like he's on set or he has a... He got in late today. From where?

I don't remember. I didn't even say. Did he remember the lunch? Who flies in on a Wednesday? I'm sorry, Jacob. What did he say? Hang on one second, Jay. If flight got in late so he couldn't make it.

He didn't remember the lunch? I don't know. I don't think. Maybe not. So he forgot all about you. He totally forgot it. Wow. This is one time.

Never before. Oh, you think this is the one time forget? This is the beginning. Yeah, you think it's the decides that it's a place that you guys deserve more than a fancy seafood restaurant. Oh, yeah. What's he trying to do? What is he me and Bobby treating you guys like that? I'm a Ted's Montana guy anyway.

Yeah, we know. Did it close down because nobody likes it? Yeah. I don't know if that was the reason. It was the reason. Usually the reason. No, you know, it closed down because they didn't make any money. They didn't make any money.

money because nobody likes it well we went in there usually around three o'clock which they empty lunch service well but it's lunch service is over I always in my head pictured it slammed in during the lunch oh you think the waitresses were in the weeds all day until you guys showed up they were so happy they could leave my head oh man we finally got a break hey how busy was the oceana place empty it was empty so a handful of people so you guys were there just by yourself our waiter took a lunch break in the middle of serving us And the ladies who love or laugh, ladies who laugh. Jay, we got to go downstairs on the way out and find that waiter and give him an extra 20.

I mean, he literally shoved Lewis's arm out of the way to get some money to do, Lou? I can't really. Can we find out what's going to happen in the fishbow? Can we find what's happening in the fishbowl so we can see if we can pilfer anybody? I texted Liam. He said, number one, T.I. will be back tomorrow because he canceled today. So he's going to ask for us. And right now, no, don't, don't ask for T.

We've made fun of his comedy a lot. So what? Let's get him on. We have already asked for him We can't say he's not gonna know that We can't say no We were told we were gonna get seven tickets to Youngblood And then they gave me and Bobby two tickets

And 17 empty seats next to us Well they didn't show up They didn't show up I'm pretty sure there's gonna be a lot of warm juices left over too Telling you what it is dude Liam Liam doesn't want you guys He doesn't want to set precedent

That you guys think you can get tickets from him He thinks you guys are worthless I don't think that Like Dan I fought for you He like Dan, forget you guys. You guys are always being left out of the proverbial Oceana. He said in the fishbow right now, he doesn't know.

It's no one famous. It's just a DJ set with food for employees, not really sure. Tell him all forgiven for everything if he steals me one of DJ, uh, Who Kids, necklaces. All's forgiven. Ask him why there was 75 empty seats next to me and Bobby at Youngblood and why you guys couldn't go. In fact, I feel like Youngblood would have really been happier if you guys went so we didn't have to see that complete dead zone of audience. Yeah, and just two old guys hopping up and down.

Me and Bobby hopping, but I wasn't only hopping. I was just going tiptoes and back down if I'm not, if I'm being completely honest with everybody. You're bouncing. Can I be honest, too? I was just bouncing the phone. And Bobby didn't jump at all. He simply bounced the phone. I was just bouncing my phone.

I was fluencing my phone. I have a bad knee and I have plantifaciitis. I don't want to ruin the concert. Do you ever see that thing that influencers do where it's like they, they, They learned if they hold like a toilet seat like up and like out of a window. They can act like they're on a plane or something. So it looks like a plane window. It was like the weirdest shit.

The stuff people were going through for that. I was the biggest sucker sap for all that. Was it like 90% of airplane dispute things like airplane fights are fake videos? It's a fake plane. You can like rent the plane. Like a fake plane. And the way they tell by the which I'm annoyed. In my mind, I'm like, well, these ghetto people would be on a plane that has Christmas lights as their lights.

I don't know why I just believed it. And it's like, no, it's not a real plane. Yeah. But they're all, like, so many of them are. Well, you can tell because there's room. There's so much room to film. Like, there's a lot of space. The Burger King Crown guy was real.

The what? The Burger King Crown guy, the guy that kept yelling the N-word and freaking out. That was very real. My question more for that guy is not that it was real, is that how did he get to his seat? How do you let a guy with a guy with a burger king hat? Like, this guy, that wasn't the first thing. That wasn't the first problem he made that airport. When he got his seat?

You think there was a problem before he got on the? the plane? Yeah. I feel like everybody that guy crossed past was just when he goes finally, they're like, you know what? I'm not even going to say anything's this is not my problem anymore. It becomes the next person's problem. When you get a Burger King at the airport? They don't have Burger Kings at airports. Of course they do. They do? I thought it was all McDonald's. No, there's plenty of Burger Kings. I've never seen a Burger King. I've never seen the Crowns. I know we get the crowns. I've gotten the crowns.

Recently? No, not recently, but I used to go get the, they have the French toasticks. They used to have the French toastics. And I used to go there. French biscuits were good. They were so good. I'm a far more taste-wise, Burger King breakfast than McDonald's breakfast. By far. Oh, yeah.

Way better. The croissant sandwiches? Better. Way better than McDonald's. I do, though. The king is the English muffin. The egg McMuffin. The biscuit.

I don't like the biscuits. It's too dry for a sandwich. I like the egg McMuff sausage, egg McMuffin with cheese is my favorite breakfast sandwich. And fight me. Best fast food. And I'm not talking, we're talking

we're talking about fast food a place has a drive-thru fucking window the Wopper best burger oh Bobby's gonna fight you wait kiss or fight

you want to step up okay it was a fight all right I thought you were coming over for the biggest hug in the world I thought you just realized that we were soulmates

the Wopper sucks you don't mean that buddy the Womber is sucks you're insane it's flame broiled it's not it's actually not

yes it is what are those lines from but dude they're different I think they're airbrushed in. They can't, that would take too much time. It's not even cost effect of the airbrush. Dude, it's a robot.

It's a robot airbrush. No, that would, why do you get an airbrush robot? You could just fucking grill them, show some bitches up. It's flame broiled. It's, it's... The whopper is the worst of the worst. You can't have it your way. No, dude.

The quarter pounder annihilates the whopper. No. Raise your hand if the quarter pounder annihilates the whopper. What would you rather have? If I was going to buy a real-liper or a quarter-pounder. You could keep rephrasing the question, hoping that people are going to start raising their hand. that aren't. You like a whopper? I prefer a Big Mac.

All right. It's not even the goddamn question. It's not the question, dude. Well, I will take a whopper over what you're saying. You would take a whopper over a quarter pounder with cheese. Yeah. You know what? It reminds me of childhood. Yeah, well, your childhood sucked. So what? The happy times. White trash childhood you had. Where with a Bird King hat on. Wopper's so much better than a quarterpillar. Dude, listen, I'm not going to dispute the Bird King hat is the greatest thing to ever put on your head and you can size it. I love it. But a Wopper, look at it. It's not, it's gross.

Well, you're looking at the different kinds. I don't want these whoppers. I want a regular old whopper. A wopper sucks. You eat it, the smell is on your hands for like a day. Wopper? Yeah. I love it.

I don't like a wopper at all. It's the worst. That's the smell when you drive by Burger King sometimes. It's good Burger King, they pump that smell out. You smell it. That chemical. But I'm pretty sure that if you get a quarter pound of cheese, it's microwaved. It's not microwaved at all.

It is. No, not a quarter pound of cheese. Of course. No, the little burger. It's not even frozen. The quarter pounder? They make that fresh in the back. You're out of your goddamn mind.

I'm a little bit. It's frozen. The Whopper sucks. You're wrong. It looks gray. It's so good. Dude, there's no grill at fucking Burviken. B.K.

You're the grill? Yeah. It's right there in the commercial. They don't have a grill. What are we talking about? It's flame broiled. It's their whole thing. It's flame broiled in like Nebraska in a factory.

Have it. You're away. And they freeze it and they send it there. And then they microwave. You wish that was true. 100%? Nope. There's no, there's no grill.

You think they're going to trust a, uh, a, uh, a, a, a, a, a make woppers. Burger King employee with a grill? They make woppers for your dog now. What? Wop hopper. I imagine it's as bad for your dog as the, how dare you? Oh, you don't think the, the old dog biscuit at Burger King is healthy for a dog. Your dog will die within six months of some tumor.

I will tell you what, also. McDonald's had better toys overall in their hands. happy meals, but when Burger King got a promotion, their thing was better. I'll agree with that. The Alf Hand puppets, game-changing. Yeah, because they had to because their burger sucked. You're wrong about that. Did you...

Dude, a double quarter-pounder with cheese or a quarter-pounder with cheese. It's what someone who's given up does. No, that's somebody who knows a burger. A double-quarter pounder? Double-quarter pounder is nuts. That's crazy. I mean, it is a little crazy, but it is... A half-pounder? That's what he used to call me. Damn.

Dude. Now, the wopper. The whoppers. The wopper's stage. Strong, strong. Christine, you'd rather take a whopper or a quarter pounder with cheese? Wopper 100%. Oh, you guys are such... You know she's a size queen.

Yeah, you guys are trash. A little itty bitty quarter pounder? Christine's a wopper gal. Dude, we gotta get... I want to get a wopper in here and a quarter pound with cheese. I want to do a taste test. Hang on, Christine, I'm sorry, I made that joke about you. Christine's got her, I might talk to HR outfit on today.

Yeah, she really does. It's very business today. I was telling her when I walked up and go, who are you fucking? Like, she looks fantastic. Like she showed up today in power mode Skinny Steen Yeah dude I would be like I get mad when Don says I'm going to take a shower

I'm like who are you fucking Like where are you going to shit What the fuck are you doing? Why are you shaving your legs? If Christine's the way she dressed today Is to fuck somebody It's going to be somebody doing better than me So God bless her

Yeah I mean at least it looks better than you Let's trying to catch a corporate That's not hard The hard would be success maybe But you'll catch you can catch a lawyer With that outfit for sure Yeah, I showed up today and I was stunned. And not just like an old, grizzled lawyer that will, like, take her.

No. Like a handsome older gentleman, like a Clooney, the Clooney of that law firm. Yeah, like the older guy in suits. Yes. You know, not the younger guy. No idea, but yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, she looks real good. But she also has a nice tan going. She got the tan, so she has her shoulders out. Yeah. And she had a hair up too earlier, which is a power move. Well, I mean, any respectable sugar daddy will provide her place where she could tan. Are you a sugar daddy? Yeah.

I guess so. Non-sexual sugar daddy? That's called something. I'm giving up sugar. Is that what you called it? Because it had too much sugar in it? Yeah. Did you see these?

I'm watching with the Knicks' playoffs, the finals, and then now the World Cup they're showing this new Burger King commercial. and I can't understand why they've been doing this. It looks like you feel bad. Because Whoppers are what fuels the Knicks. Well, no, no, no. But the commercial, the whole theme of the commercial is Burger King was run badly. And we're apologizing to our customers.

And the reason it was run badly was the Burger King, the mascot. And they put all the blame for the misfortune on a white guy. On a white guy. And you see the Burrower King. See, the burger came will like... No kings, man. No kings. He looks like he's alone in his apartment like this.

And they just fire him. He goes, now you, you, the customers are in charge. You're the president of this company now. Oh, God. Oh, more whoppers. More of the same. But you just see the Burger King is miserable like he's about to kill himself. Yeah, man.

It's the way of the world right now. It's a terrible... I don't know who thought about this. What advertising firm came up with this? It's awful. I'll say this. You know what? I'm going to get Burger King tonight.

I'll tell you why. I might have to take a whack of their fish. The filet of fish, I feel, it's going to be better than their fit. But their fish sandwich looks like it is better. Yeah, but did they have the long fish sandwich? No. That would be weird. They have the long chicken sandwich.

The long chicken sandwich I did like. It's the best. It's really good. The mayonnaise melts into the skin. It melts into the skin, Jacob. I do have to say, me and Jay both Dula Burger King, bonded over it, but the last, like, three times we've had it. It sucks.

We're like, did something happen at Burger King? Yeah, I did. This point in a way, you know what happened? Actually, you matured and you have taste buds are better because you have better food. No, it's not what's happening. It's the Burger King. You did it, apparently. Also, I'd like to blame the Burger King, but I'm not going to blame on that.

And I'm sorry to say this, but we have enough people here who understand in no Jersey in this room to get what's happening here. Some reason the area that I live in, late night food goes to sleep at 10 p.m. 11 latest. So if you got to do fast food, even the fast food, places. A lot of them, you're calling. It's coming from Patterson, New Jersey. They don't give a fuck over there. So they're going to leave out the best ingredient, love, over at the Patterson. Are you saying that, are you saying, like, in certain areas, they make better whoppers? Yes. What's the reason for that?

White people. They, or, you know, like, or teenagers who have to sort of give a shit or something like that but they uh buddy it's always that was one of my oldest things in the world you see a wawa with the black staff stay the fuck away now forget it it's not even about the black staff doesn't matter what the staff color is you get a wah-wa at this point i'm convinced outside of the philadelphia or close to philadelphia jacob drink that louder yeah could you mean just what the fuck was that i was just escape a cave you know you get dehydrated when you friend burned you you know 99% of the time i hit the cough button and i didn't and i got burned on this one. I apologize.

You've been burned twice today, kid. Damn, dude, you are dusted. You've been burned more than that because Dan doesn't want to call. Oh, he's calling. Oh, he's calling. Oh, he's calling line two. Oh. Daniel. Danny. What's up, buddy? You're on the bonfire.

What's up? I legally have to tell you're on the bonfire. Hi, buddy. Hey, buddy. We were just having a really good, hard laugh at you setting these guys to Oceana and then not showing up and making them pay for themselves. It made me. It made me, I just want to tell you, you just, you haven't been on the show in years, and you're still bringing the good stuff.

I mean, the sad on Jacob's face today. I'd be a psycho if that was just set up for a bit. DJ Lou, DJ Lou and Black Lou, I mean, are giving him like the, they're doing like the, you just got to let him go, man. You got to let, he's like, no, next time we'll be there for the fish. Dan, the best part is that you went from Ted Montana to Oceana and you didn't show up. and you know they already had all their choices picked out on the menu, and they had to rearrange what they were going to get because you weren't there to pay. Oh, dude.

They got fucking, they got edamomime. They went from entree to apps, real estate salads, they said. People weren't happy. Jacob actually wanted just bread. Yeah. Also, don't blame me. We were all with Ted's Montana family, and then that son of a bitch closed that restaurant and died.

He ran out on us. Yeah. He worked it until he died. We rocked Ted's Montana until it died. Well, DJ Liu and Black Lou never liked Ted Montana. And Jacob loves you so much. He just wanted to be around. I liked it.

Yeah, Dan, nobody liked Ted Montana. They just thought you liked it. Oh, my God. He wanted to see you like it. I went to the train. That's the only reason I like it. I know. You don't understand, Dan, you're dealing with a stalker.

I'm trying to warn you before it gets real scary. Wait, what's with a what? Jacob is a stalker. He gets very sad if you're not around, and he gets honorary. Yeah. He's not in a great mood today because he thought he was going to see your face. Well, your glow, he calls it. Oh, that's so kind.

I didn't know that. It is. Yeah, he needs you every couple of months just to not kill himself. Yeah. He also needs to read. I really appreciate that. He also has to distract. you and get a new lock of hair because the one he took from you before is dying

it's getting nasty I'll cut them off buddy cut some real hair not the other hair from the top yeah give me some of that donor shit yeah you know that space wig stuff no no no you get second-hand or nothing I'm not giving you your OG crop hey Dan are you gonna are you can you do them a solid and Venmo them money that's yeah would you be won the Venmo these guys the money they paid for Ocean today. We're going to have,

we're going to have Eric, the manager from Oceana, call you and put it on your card. Yeah. Cool at that. Hey, listen, dude, there's nothing worse. Take it from me when you're with somebody famous that pays for everything and they forget their credit card and you have to pick up the tab at some Brazilian steakhouse.

How about my dumbass was out at lunch with Tim Dillon in L.A. And I go, let's split this. Stupidest thing I've ever said. Oh, my God. Why? He was like, my entree needs an entree. I was actually talking to him. He was like, he ordered a sushi. I think it was all like a legal fish or something.

Oh, is it the kind of fish that if they cut it one way? It's delicious. The other way you die? Yeah. He doesn't have that fish, right? If you cut it wrong, you die. Hey, just to let you know if you have any metal on you, you might have a seizure. You're ready to go, damn, dude.

Jacob's in a funk. I was just talking to Tim Dillon. Sorry, I'm sorry, guys. I fucked up in my, you know, I didn't know I was going to get in when I did, and I blew it. Hey, did you forget? Did you forget or did you just? Yeah, I didn't put it in my calendar. I fucked up.

They're in a calendar? First time it's happened. First off, I'm like, nine out of ten. There was one time it didn't happen. That's funny, that's funny. Jacob, now he has a calendar. Every day we watch him open. It's a tactile calendar that he opens up and scratches a red X onto the day.

And then over one of the days it says real big Ted Montana's or somewhere. Oh, dude, that's so funny. It's all Dan trivia. He has a reminder that goes off every day. He's one day closer. You know that is actually his favorite episode of South Park was Kanye, but then switch to crem fresh. I thought it was going to be a bunch of things to say, like,

new episode of Sodor Drops. Like, oh, just the fucking, he's got your whole schedule. Dan's in Winnipeg this weekend. Yeah, you know, he knows your calendar, like Colin knows my calendar. Yeah, he just knows. Oh, Dan actually won't be around for that. Oh, I think he's actually having a lovely time right now in Sacramento. I challenge you weren't on a plane at all today.

Who the fuck flies on Wednesday? That's not real. That is a weird gig. I stayed out in San Francisco a couple days after I gave my special. For the same reason, Justin always used to stay in L.A. A couple extra days? Yeah, you just have gay stuff. You're walking dogs, quote, unquote?

My gay stuff is with it was with homeless pimp and Brendan Zagel. Sounds like gay stuff. It is gay stuff. So, let me ask you questions. So you weren't, you know, Jacob was looking forward to this for weeks. Oh, my God.

He threw a fish place and not you fish. So you didn't, you weren't yesterday going, I get to go home tomorrow and go meet the boys for the ladies' lunch? No, I forgot to put it in my calendar Or else I would have seen it How does it make you feel, Jacob? I'm okay, like I said,

this is the first time it's happened. What's that vein in your head? There's no vein. Why are you clenching your fists? Oh man, you know what's funny I'm gonna wake up, I'm gonna wake up tonight. Jacob's gonna have a nice in his teeth and he's gonna be tying my hand behind my head.

It's like Jacob's given us like the cut it, the cut it hands where he's like, stop, don't make him upset with me. Guys, guys, he won't do his solo, his voice memo podcast. Damn? I didn't say it. I wasn't saying it.

Did you guys reschedule? Well, I'm sorry I let you down, Jacob. I promise I'll be there on July 1st at Oceania. You're going to redo Oceana. That's great. That's our spot. I mean, I told him to find a restaurant. I'm not fucking putting effort into it.

First of all, he didn't find it. We found it for him. Yeah. We made him upgrade. We were like, no, we walked over to it when Ted Montana was closed. We told you to go. We told you to go to the fancy. We suggested that place before while you were still at Ted Montana.

I said you have Del Friscoes and Ocean. And I said, we don't need it. Yeah, you do need it. And then we went there and it wasn't open. It was completely bored it up. You didn't need it today. Yeah. And then, by the way, and then also, guys, what they're leaving out is we went to Del Friscoe's

that they came us with the dinner menu. And I was like, I love you guys. I'm not buying you $75,000. That's fucking crazy. Damn. You put a number on it? I don't know, Bobby, but it was MP. And I'm not doing it right.

You guys went in there, saw menus and walked out. We did. You sat down first? Did you have to almost think about not leaving? Because you're like, well, they already poured water. I already lifted. I already lift up the water cup. I started to sweat when I brought the

water and I was like, they poured the water and I was like, dude, no thing. You should put your hand over and so they poured water over your hand and make, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I just saw the menu. That's where you go. Hey, guys, they have a porterhouse for four.

Do you go to just, you want to just split a steak? How do you guys feel about, how do you guys feel about each grab in a piece of that shrimp cocktail? Hey, you guys mind if I order it for everybody? How about when Shrim Coptails market price? You know you fucked up there. Crom Coyliddle should have a price. Oh, my God.

But we went in and I was like, yeah, guys, I think we're going to go to Oceana. Damn. God damn. Well, that makes me laugh so hard. Well, you know. Yeah. How much was the bill? Sorry, you kept watching every headlight, Jacob, thinking.

Hey, champ, I promise you. Sorry, you had to go. I was hanging out with Linda today. I forgot it was our day, bud. Dude. So what's really funny about that, Jay, is we were just up in Lakeport filming. Like, because, you know, I want to put it out when I put out the special. I want to put out something on YouTube.

And I went up to Lakeport. And I was getting a coffee at the Starbucks. And this guy just walks up. He goes, oh, you want to talk shit about Lake County? Then show back up. I was like, oh, what's up? Wow. I was like, okay.

And he was like, no, dude, I listen to the podcast. I was like, I'll thank God. Oh, my God. You thought he was a real coming at you? Damn, I wish that would be. Yeah, but I was taking them around, and I was like, that's where my dad took me to get pussy. That's where my dad took me to get pussy. That's what he was showing you?

I was showing them around. I was showing pig and that's where your dad would take you, and then he would fuck a chick while you played video games. Nice. Yeah, or we'd go swimming at Blue Lakes and shit, and I'd be like, you know, that was like, hey, we'll go swimming, but really, I'm getting, I'm getting some trim. That's hilarious. Hey, swimming a lake by yourself, like Jason Voorhees.

I'm going to be playing this pig. Hey, maybe a black glob will grab you when you lay out on one of those. Hey, go in that fucking pile of dead bodies probably. You know what? Nothing supernaturally horrific can go wrong. Trish, what if I get thirsty? You're in a fucking lake, man. Oh, my God.

I always forget Dan had a sad childhood. Drink the water. It's a lake. Yeah, I'd rather take my childhood with Dan's sad childhood. Yeah, at least my heart. That was fun, Dan. party you get the party you get pussy i got beaten i'd rather take that than watching my dad fuck yeah bobby got bobby got fucked and sucked and i just got pruny fingers

you were doing fucking great yeah yeah me and soda both uh i didn't have as uh there's no alcoholic in mine but we both had dead beat dads yeah yeah i know you know what though it does honestly the alcoholism does make it uh go down easier for me because i go he's a slave to the bottle. Oh yeah, my dad just wasn't interested. Yeah, your dad goes a hard bath. I hung out with the kids. Do you remember what? Jay, that was cold, sober? Were you on the show when I show the picture? I know Bobby's thing.

We looked at that one where I'm wearing a little like velvet tuxedo and he's next to me, my dad and he's looking at me. Yeah. I'm such a little boy and he's looking. I mean, his face couldn't be more like, hey, champ, I did the best I could, but I'm going to get out of here. It looks like, you know, this coupon. This coupon's expiring in about a week. Yeah.

He's like, uh, just so you know, bud, just, uh, go birds. Uh, go birds. Don't hook up with a black chick. If you ever make anything, if you ever make anything yourself, I'll come back in your life. Yeah. Depends on how good you do. Honestly, you sell, you go clean four out of five at the Columbus funny bone. I'll pop back.

Dude, when he asked me if I needed him to manage me after I did comic view was the funniest thing in the world. I'm like, manage me. That's great. That's such, I forgot your dad, Bobby Boochayed you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You need family to help you out. Did you tell him that you were already managed by P. Diddy, you couldn't do that.

That's a contract. That'd be breaking the contract. It was far before P. Diddy. I would love to tell him, I can't, Dad. I'm involved with P. Diddy. No, I just did Comic View. Sorry, Daddy. Comic View paid me $150.

And then it was on TV. And then he was like, well, I mean, you're going to need a manager now. And it should probably be somebody family who's close to you. Do what? Is your dad still in the management business? I might look him up. Oh, fucking go management? Gary O'Kerson?

What if your dad managed me and he fucking skyrocketed my career? Oh my God, Bobby becomes number one with the bullets. I'm just working stadiums the way Shane does it. I'm hanging out with Seinfeld and Nate and your dad. Bobby guys.

Yeah, dude, I don't know, you know. Jay's dad just gave me the secret he did. That's so funny. Yeah, he's there. He's there. He happened to be the Kevin Hartrose because he's managing the rock. Oh, hey, bud. I didn't know you're almost.

He goes, you know your dad, Jay, I can understand why your dad left you. Your mana wasn't strong enough for him. He requires a stronger mana. Your dad could only lead people who have mana, brother. Oh, my, uh... Did you see the thing? Dan, the thing you did with Will Saso, have you seen that?

Sure, yeah. That was probably one of the funniest things on the internet I've ever seen them going toe to toe with wrestler voices. That was... It was Joe, dude, his casual. whole, Holkogen is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. Him just doing the Hulk Hogan having a conversation going, no, no, you're going to understand something here, brother.

It's so goddamn funny. It's so goddamn funny. It still makes me laugh. Now, hold on a second, brother. It's just like the way it is a serious. What did you think of the Hulk Hogan documentary? Oh, dude, it got me riled up, dude. Episode one will make you want to run through a wall.

You're like, dude, this is, it's just the best. It was like him putting, also, we all have to agree Brett Hart is the funniest person in all four episodes Dude Brett Hart just generally speaking Listen to Brett Hart's Audio book Lewis said Made him have a nightmare one night

That guy is the most pretentious Dildo-y sounding guy in the history of wrestling It's so funny It's so funny And the way that he talked about it Where he's like I was that was 18 years old wrestling

Hogan I knew about more right there than he did his whole life It's not in the whole time And then he does that. Lewis will say that when it's, in the book is just talking about, like, it is got to be, as you get older hearing the guy talk about Stu Hart, Jim, and you're like, you're too many myths and fantasies and years away from it to tell it right. Because, I mean, all these, like, my friends would come down and he would regularly break their legs.

Like, if you came down to the dungeon, you were going to say, no, now, now. That didn't happen. I just love that Lewis. I would like to believe that the... Lewis has audio books. Oh, yeah. I love that he reads books. audio. He calls it reading.

Anyone who calls wrestling audiobooks reading I call them a piece of shit. I hate that. It's stolen valor. Yeah, but what you guys also don't know is that Lewis stares out and with his fingers follows along on the line. He has an app that has a ball on top of each word.

He goes like, it was that that moment. I knew that the dungeon was the point. Yeah, the ball bounces of each syllable. Yes. I walked forward to middle earth. He's just ball bouncing on everything, Louis. Bannana.

And then he had a banana. So, god damn funny. This is that the way Lewis reads, the bouncing ball. Sorry, guys, I need a song to sing along with you. I've never listened to a book on tape. It sounds like a nightmare. Well, it's crazy.

Except if you're, by the way, I'm glad I'm on the phone. Did you see you felt dog had a medical emergency on a plane? Oh, yeah, but it wasn't just like he had to fart or something. It ended up being not a big deal. Yeah, it was food poisoning. That's pretty clear. Yeah, right, food. Oh, but he thinks food poisoning.

You know what's funny? He's a guy that when you go, you just have some food poison. He goes, who was it? It's like, no, no, that just means like, Something was bad in the food. He goes, no, my food was poisoned. You just said it. You know you just fucked up, right?

You know you just unfucked up. And now I know you're part of the wolf pack. That's how I know. You gave me tainted tofu. That's so funny, dude. Yeah, he was feeling very sick on the flight and was checked out by a doctor who was on board. It might be pancreatitis or gallstones. And he's like, murder.

Or was it? murder oh yeah he's doing all these stand by me things that's a funny thing too Josh Adam Myers said he had Will Wheaton I think on his podcast and Will Wheaton he tried to get

um he tried to get him to talk you know about Corey Feldman like what a lunatic right and he but they have to do all this stuff together she was like nah he's like the he's the best isn't he's just like the sweetest guy and like he's so he just like cares so much and they always find like nice ways to be like he's just He's a retard we have to just do this thing with.

It's not a big deal. Oh, I know. I know. Yeah, no. He just, he doesn't hurt anybody, you know, and he just, God bless him, he's trying. But Jerry O'Connell's enough of a fucking plastic face, too, that it's like, I don't know if he really, if he's doing like, I'm just getting through it with Cory

Feldman, or if he's just like, he's great. He's such a card. He's probably just a Hollywood fellow shell. Yeah, it's probably Hollywood or, but I also feel like it could be Hollywood. CTE and he just has like, you know, brain damage. Yeah, he's on the cusp of not making it. He's like holding on those career. Well, he was a sassy black woman for about a good decade.

Bobby's right. Bobby's right. He's got his foot in the door and he's going like, now hold on a second. Well, now he's becoming, I said he was a sassy black woman for a while. Now he's becoming like a 45-year-old fat white woman. You know what I mean? He's being like, now that's his thing where he's like, he's just trying to hang on. He's just hanging in there.

He's just showing up anywhere. he can show up next to somebody. His face looks odd. Am I wrong? Well, that's, they have the best pictures of him right here, but in real life. Yeah, in real life. Oh, yeah, he's getting fucking carrot top proportions. Yeah.

He's getting topped. There has to be like, at what point, which one do you wake up from that you go like, oh, you guys did it, you did too much? Like, you know? Like you wake up and you're like, like your facial surgery. I mean, a caratop for sure. No, but I'm saying like, but keratop is fucked. But Kiratop probably

A couple of those Were probably trying to be corrective You know what I mean? Probably There was one that he woke up And he was like oh shit Guys do another one You gotta correct it

Too much You made it worse Well that's you know In hindsight you have to think about Remember years ago When they had the VH1 Of showing Vince Neal Get his facelift

We talked about You got a facel And now Reception But that was so long ago When Vince Neal got his facel It was so long ago Yeah

That like you realize now that he's still performing, like, he's probably done so much damage around that facelift. Like, he wasn't old. Yeah, but when you get a facelift, you've got to take care of the rest of your body, too. You know, it's almost like when girls get fake tits, but then they just become fat, then they're just goofy tits. They're not like, you know what I mean? Yeah, shout out. Yeah.

I'm still about to you what, though. Fake tits. Yeah, but fake tits on a girl is getting fat are probably as better than what her real tits would be doing. Yeah, but fake tits on a chick who's, like, hot, they look great. but then everything around it becomes dumpy, they just look weird. Yes. You know, and the tick gets fat,

so one's bigger than the other. Look at him post-facelift. He was so happy, and then everything around it just stoned into shit. Dude, I waited on him post-facelift. Does Camino's. Was he never not smiling? If he frowned, it would rip his eyebrows away from his hairline.

He, like, walked up and you were like, yo, what the fuck. He is the cowardly line. I'll have a water. I'll have a water. Put up a margarita. I'll have water, please. Do you have water back there?

If I only had a drink. Man, a phase, what was he did? It's a young age to get a facelift whenever he did it. Yeah. He gave up drinking because he killed his friend in a car accident. Oh, yeah, he did kill his friend in that car accident. Yeah, and then he drank again. It was the whole thing.

That was his penance. I guess it didn't take. He amassed a $148 tab at Dos Camino back in 2010. And what did he break you off with? What did he break you off with? What did he break you off with? Tell us what he broke you off with. It was good.

It was a good. It was like a 30% tip. Okay. All right. Was Janine Lyndon Mueller with him? No, I wish, dude. She was already a full-on problem by the time. He was at Dos Camino.

Far, I don't know if it was average. after or before the facelift, but the facelift wasn't the thing that ever shook me most. It was really, like, that sex video he made showing his little pudd. Like, the fact that Vince Neal had a little pud was like, ugh. Was that after Tommy Lee's? It was after Tommy Lee's Monster Hogg, first of all, yes. And then also, Brett Michaels had a pretty solid fucking piece, and that one with Pam Anderson. Yeah.

So, yeah, fucking sucks. Yeah, you killed that guy. That's in my hometown. What? Were you killed the guy? Yep. Nice. Yeah, right down Redondo.

Is there still, is there like a white bicycle? there? No, but you drive by, you're like, that's the accident. Do they have a white-painted bicycle there? Yeah. Those are a little bucket of flowers? That's my most depressing drive to work the other day. I saw two in full-intact dead deer on the side of the road and then like one, like two of those like my child was murdered here on the side of the road graves. Like, god damn it. You had a parade. Yeah, it was the most sad driving. Like, oh, someone, it all ends at some point. It all ends at some point. Does.

Huh? Circle life trust. Well, you're having a fucking Jim Morrison flashback on your drive to work. If you go by Oceanos tonight, there's actually a cross out in front that the boys left for you. That's a memorial for what kind of been.

And that waiter didn't get a nice tip like you did from Vince Neal. Let me tell you that. I bet it was the exact amount they're supposed to leave. Dan, I assume living in the city as you do, that Katie was dragged off and taken away as people looted your apartment. building after the next one

yeah honestly I was wondering where she was old today yeah she'll make her way back the city'll calm down after the parade when is the parade tomorrow 10 o'clock 10 a a half tomorrow tomorrow morning are you gonna go to it down it's at the tip it's no fuck no

all the way all the way at the bottom of the island dude the fucking man the comedians that I know are not Knicks fans jumping on being Nick's fans is driving I hate it Who is it?

The only one that did it funny was Ari. Ari did it as a bit and posted it. I think Norton was funny, Norton was funny. Yeah. Norton was being bitchy. Yeah, I like that. That was a funny thing.

No, I mean, like, people really, it's like putting on a bunch of Nix skier and going out to Washington the park. And like, what the fuck? Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Yeah, no way, bro. No respect it.

I don't respect it. Oh, it's way downtown. Yeah, it's all that time. They are having a kids parade on the Upper West Side at 4. Oh, good. for Nick's kids fans? Whoa, all right.

Wow, what the hell's going on? What's going on down to downtown one? Because they said that the kids couldn't have off school for the parade. Big Booty Ho's? That's going to suck for us getting in. The kids parade? Is that Uptown? Yeah, when that school lets out, and we come in on Tuesday, on 50th, it's a nightmare.

Oh, so they're going to have the kids parade. It's on the Upper West. Yeah. Yeah. I take my watch off. From where to where? When that school lets out. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, dude. When that B4. F-9 school, whatever they fucking call it. PS. PS-96. PS-69. You're getting lucky if you're catching a PS. You're probably going to get a school for the academic design of winged integrity.

Oh, God. Those are the ones that they'll rape you first. Yeah, those are all the ones where it's like Justice of the Peace, Sir Good Martian. Oh, God. Andy Milanox University High School. Never mind, guys. Everything's going to be fine. It was today, too.

It was us today. It's at the Children's Museum of Manhattan Steppes. led by Amy Schumer and Jessica Seinfeld. So everything's fine. We're all fine. That's hilarious. It's done. That's hilarious.

My favorite New York, Nicky, Amy Schumer. Mine is Gabby Brian. I don't know. Amy did put up 20 and 6 for three seasons. That's true. That is true. 20 and 6, yeah, good for them. Good for them.

Oh, we have to take a break. Oh, I broke your heart. Oh, dude, he's not okay. He's almost bled out, so. Jacob, send him your Venmo. He'll send you over there. Tigger, what's your Venmo, let him just fucking take care of it. And make sure you put the tip in there too.

Dude, let him get you, listen. Yeah, I will. I want to get you back to even. I want you to be satisfied on the day. Yeah. He'll send you the $350. How much did you pay for that water and an amami? I don't remember.

We just split it, the three of us. Oh, that sucks. And a bag of soup crackers? Black Lou says $10? $100. $100. 100 smackers for soup crackers. Lil, what did you get?

Twin Lobster tails? He was going to get that. He was going to. He was going to. And they had to switch it up to lobster bisque. Oh, dude. So you guys have done the Oceana dinner already. No, they tried to. They tried to, right? We did it once before.

He did it once before. Yeah, after he found out that you guys weren't getting tomahawk steaks. Damn, dude. You guys are grubs. Yeah, we like our cup of pickles that makes all of them sick. You think we don't feed these fucks? We love you, Daniel. Love you, buddy

You're on the road Do you want to promote anything For you go? I'll be at New York Comedy Club In Stanford, Connecticut July I think it's 16th through the 18th

Danceoder.com for tickets No And make sure you check out His podcast, Soter And the regs Yeah I guess are we there Monday We're there Monday, right?

And the reg. Body Brain Coffee presents the Regs Yeah, body brain Body Brain Creamer Don't forget the cream Body Brain Coffee and Creamer Presents the Regs Buzz the Rush Skanks Fest.

Alleging Skanks Story Wars. Four people and everyone gets an equal half of the show, right? No? Oh, absolutely. We love you, Daniel. Love you guys. Talk to you soon, buddy. Bobby Kelly.com.

Robert Kelly. What? Punchup. That live slash Robert Kelly comedy. He's going to be at Governors in Levittown this weekend. One show each night. One show. Each night.

Yeah, Friday, one show, Saturday one show. Oh, really? Yeah, it's only one show. I always forget that. Are you sure it's two? No. I did one and two. Yeah.

But they didn't add a show. That was what the weekend was. No, it's just one show and one show. One show and night, everybody. That's awesome. 19th and 20th. And then the Comedy Mothership in Austin, July 3rd through the 5th. After that, Port Smith, New Hampshire, one night only, two shows.

July 25th, then Saratoga Springs and Brooklyn, New York. For tickets and all to all to-tort dates, go to Punch Up That Live slash Robert Kelly Comedy. and every Tuesday night at the Fat Black Pussy Cat lounge at the comedy cellar at 7 p.m. Big J is going to be

at Helium Comedy Club and Buffalo this weekend the 19th and the 20th. Did they add a show? Two shows a night. Two shows a night. No, I have to do a fucking phoneer tomorrow. Then he's going to be

the comedy zone in Harrisburg, PA, the 10th through the 12th. After that, he's going to be Winnipeg. That sold out Friday and Saturday. They added Sunday. That does feel good. Yeah, it feels good to you. But the helium in Buffalo,

I have to do a phoneer tomorrow. Feels good to you. All the rest of us comics are like, all right, whatever, Jay. I got a bag on a phoner. No, God bless you, dude. And you're going to be in Winnipeg. You're excited about that?

Yeah. It's the Great Outdoors Fest, I think. Oh, it's not at the club? No, no, no. I can't go there since they kicked out rich for making fun of natives. I can't be trusted not to do that. He's giving me a rich man in Long Island.

And for tickets to tour days, go to bigjaycomedy.com and YouTube.com slash Big J. Ocerson for his live shows and his stand-up specials. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.