The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Heckled by a Child

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

Dan gets heckled by a child at a football game and the dongs of two famous comedians make an appearance!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey, I'm Big J. Ocarson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to series6m.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Daniel. What's up?

You are across country right now. How are your shows of Portland amazing, I trust? Portland Helium was a blast. What a blast. That are across country right now. How are your shows of Portland amazing? I trust Portland Helium was a blast What a blast that's such a fun club and then the whole staff there's got a nicks there, right? Yeah, Nick from Philly is now the GM and Portland so it was awesome to see him in like hanging out Great weekend. Kaelin Palufo featured for me. She did awesome. She fucking murdered all weekend Super cool staff at that dispensary. Yes, I got some of your favorite jet pack, OSIE. Going to that stuff is fire. And then I had a great time in Portland. Got

to see some friends and some family and hang out and then came up to Seattle. I added a show that I'm doing tomorrow night at laughs, which is sold out. So that'll be a fun mix out to do that. I haven't been to Seattle in a long time and then spoke hand this weekend. But, you know, I was like, instead of coming to these coasts, why don't I go to the 49ers Seahawks game, which was conveniently the Sunday after my Portland weekend. Yes. So we drove up.

Katie came with me and we drove up to... How long did it drive? About three hours? Not bad. It's not bad. Well, here's what sucks. The game originally was a Sunday night game. And so we got, yeah, the Broncos chiefs got flexed to the Sunday night game.

So it was like three hours earlier and you're like, shit. That was like kind of figured into it. Where you're like, all right, we'll go get food and then we can leave and go to the Sunday night game. So it was like three hours earlier and you're like, shit. That was like kind of figured into it where you're like, all right, we'll go get food and then we can leave and go to the road checking the hotel, walk to the stadium, but not there were like they moved it up because Niners and Seahawks both kind of blow. So we got to Seattle, went to the game, got there, I was like tired and stoned and just blew the timing and showed up way too early. We showed up with like 45 minutes till the game, maybe an hour till the game. Not too early. It's true. I don't know. That's like

an hour before the game. That's a long time to kill in the stadium when it's kind of cold. Ah, you walk around, you look at the pro shop. Oh, it's a way of game. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I'll say this. I try to get in pretty close to it. You get some food, maybe.

The sea hawks stadium is, the seats are great. For watching a game, The seats were great. We were up in the second level, but it was great. The view was great, watching the game was great. Concessions and bathrooms kind of sucked. There was very few bathrooms for men, so the line was like every time I would go, it would be crazy long.

Luckily enough, we were sitting up in the stands where I could like look to see how long the line was at the men's bathroom. It was kind of down. But, uh, and then the concessions, it was like, you had to go down in there. They didn't just wasn't impressed. I know it's the sea hawks and the Niners. I know I'm at a division rival. I'd probably say the main rival, but uh, didn't like it. Didn't enjoy your hot dogs. Got shitty hot dogs, Seattle. Fuck your hot dogs. Yeah, I'll use stupid bitches. You fuck your any face assholes. I spent all that time tossing fishes and drinking coffee.

You forgot how to make a fucking dog. Yeah, I blindly got your back, dude. You guys killed Kirk Cobain. You piece of shit. Whoa, dude. Real it back a little. Nope, still here till Wednesday. I'll say, um, Dan, it was thanks you the city

killed Kirk Cobain. It was all of your faults equally. Well, actually, and you guys, and he thinks you guys support Richard Sherman's domestic violence actions. Good. Damn. Sorry, you were saying that. I was just saying that you guys are being mean. Yeah. It was, no, but it was, um, I don't know, man, I was, I didn't know how people were going to act at the Seahawks games and Seahawks fans are very, very nice. Yeah, they're on heroin, dude, they can't fight. They're no, there to go folks going. They die. I, but do this. So we're just sitting there watching the game and uh obviously it sucked the Niners lost and Jimmy G through a bunch of picks and it was just you got sacked in the in zone right

in front of us for a safety. Oh, but did he look did he look did he look good going down there? Yeah, did he winked as he was falling? I know I know he's kind of that's his fault. But he looks so cute. Do you know, I feel it. Alphia threw in a white hillbilly quarterback and the guy had a record breaking game. I think. Yeah, you guys had minchew. Great. Yeah, he was fantastic. It was weird. By the way, I'm going to send the video of that guy playing that corny music to the

bonfire. So Christine, you'll have the video that I'm talking about of that guy playing that corny music to the bonfire. So Christine, you'll have the video that I'm talking about of the guy doing the covers with the piano. So midway through the first quarter of family comes and sits in front of us. It's dad, his wife and his two kids, the daughters probably 10, the little boys probably seven. Are they all of average intelligence? Cause I just had about with some goofballs that, yeah, no, we're battling people that they don't have anybody looking out for their well-being. They, they can all be by themselves. If me, okay, no caretakers, no caretakers in the

gotcha is, he's got a number 12 jersey on that just his fan on the back, which if you own one of those jerseys in your C. Hux fan, be ashamed of yourself. You're just wearing a generic jersey that says fan Jesus Christ pick a pick a favorite player. You poor bitch. Now, it's just lame. You're wearing a poor bitch. You're wearing a stolen concept and you're putting fan on the back What a fucking asshole how old is this kid? No, this is Jacob go hit him Jay, these are a lot of people there was a lot of fans in the stands with Jersey because they you know They call them you should when I was there a sail at Ross dress for less you pieces of shit get a real Jersey you scuzz

Well, no, Jay. That's the thing The sea hawks call themselves the 12th man, which is a concept that was stolen from Texas A&M and they have to pay them for it, which I love reminding sea hawks fans about that. They're like, you're a pain for fanned identity is stolen from a college. Damn. Everyone does, you know, but, uh, so they sell jerseys that say number 12 fan and as a 49er fan you like that I just fucking hate him, right? but they We so we still bonfire from the Charleston University bonfires. Yeah, good luck. It's a historic black university and we took their logo

The bonfire Once again a white man taking the black man's working misappropriating it rock and roll rock and roll the logo for a serious exercise. And if you know anything, you know, it's clip art. But there's a so there's this little kid and he was very excited to be at the Seahawks game, which at first was adorable. And he kept doing like the, you know, like first down or he would be like holding, but he was a, infanically a Seahawks fan. So we were like joking around or whatever. And then as the Niner started losing and the Seahawks started coming back, this kid just walked into my head and it was just living right free, just living right

free in my head where I started getting chippy, you know, like where he's like boom, I'm like, well, that's not a hold. That's not a hold. So you should probably watch the game instead of turning around. Did you did you get him a couple of firebacks? the end zone and he missed. You know, he didn't, he didn't, because the child and the kid was going, pass it on her favorite, pass it on her favorite. I go, no, no, no, he dropped the ball. It's just, he just dropped it and the kid goes, pass it on her favorite. He turns around and he's turning around and he's like, pass it on her favorite. So I go, nope, he just dropped it

because your friend sucks. And the kid is like, all right, Dan, he got a lot of kid on his face. I was like, kids dad probably touches them. Here's the thing. Here is the thing. And here's my argument towards the whole thing

of why I was getting a little hot. The kid what and Katie agreed with me. The kid was obnoxious. His dad sat on the end and just watched the game paid zero attention to his family, which shout out that dude. When it is channel in the game. Can I ask you this, Dan, were you in very good seats?

We were mid seats, it was mid. Still a pricey seat though, probably. Yeah, it was over, it was like, you know, like a hundred of seat, so it was expensive. If I sit low at a sporting event particularly, the children that are there are the worst. Well, this, here was the thing, the mom, just kept being like, oh, she was one of those moms.

It's like, oh, look at them, oh, look at them go. And he was jumping up and down and, stupid bitch. He was jumping up and down and flapping his arms. Like during the plays, excited, but he was like, he was like, he knew a little bit about football, which he said he played man all the time. He said, this kid doesn't know the rules of the game,

but when they were on offense, he was like yelling, and I was like, oh, I think you're supposed to, when your team has the ball, I was like trying to teach him about football too, but then he was heckling me. It was a very weird dynamic. I have a father dickhead. Yeah, back up buddy. Jesus me. How do I need a dog? We need a dog. I'm trying to watch the game. Pass it. He kept going holding holding. And I was like, no, that's just a sack, dude.

Russell Wilson just got sacked. How does that? No, no, you're wrong. You're stupid. But then at one point, he got so obnoxious that even Katie started having fun with it. There was like a tip interception and she was like, ooh, that ball got taken away. The kid was like, just shut up and sat there. Dude, he was, I was shut up, Miss Lady. He was one of those kids that when we kicked a field goal to go up, we were sitting on the side and we kicked a field goal and he was like, it's not good. It's not good. And he was like, now it's good. And then he started crying to his mom.

He was like, but he missed it. And his mom was like, it's okay. Instead of being like, no, they, you don't see that it went through the goalposts. This kid was all over the place. Honestly, at times I loved them. He was very adorable and at times I wanted to fight him. But by the end, the Niners lost, sort of just gave him nothing. I ended up ignoring him in the fourth quarter because I was butt hurt and he was in my head. You sure showed him, dude. No, absolutely not, Jay.

I'm not saying I showed him in. I'm telling you, he won. Right now, he's like, yesterday this not saying I showed him in it. I'm telling you what right now is like yesterday this guy kept saying the things were touchdowns that were passing her fear it was nice It's like hey guy you're a receiver has to look towards the ball Jesus learn your rules. I was like do what I was leaving. I was so mad that I was like, fucking kid like penalties. What a fucking dork. What are you doing, ref movements?

I hope you can beat up at school. I was just, you fucking dork. I wasn't saying to two of them. I was saying it to while we were leaving under my breath. I assume. I would assume you'd have the conscience to make you not just lay out a seven-year-old

with fucking real insightful things. You know your parents are probably only staying together because of you. Yeah, it's pretty crazy how your dad ignores you. Hey, good luck with a drinking problem. That's where that's gonna end up. You know your dad tells his friends he thinks you're gay already. Yeah, because you flop your arms around like a little idiot bird. And you don't even know what it means yet, but wait till you when your peepee gets hard for other guys. Anyway, have a good day, kid. You want my program? I don't want it.

Yeah, fucking idiot. Yeah, suck on that. Oh, is that holding? Is that holding you little fuck? Oh, it's holding, crying. Was that holding or was that Nick Boce eating Russell Wilson's lunch? Yeah, it was. It meeting you. Hey, good job.

Hey, nice, nice Jersey. What else do you want to steal from Texas A&M? The main part is his mean things. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, oh my god. Yeah, he goes, and this guy was butt hurt. Yeah, he was just being like, you butt. I think he was wearing a Niners jacket from the 40s. Yeah, this is what you held it. Yeah, but he ended up doing, I mean, see, Hawks fans are very nice. And I was, you know, I was leaving being a little angry. He's like, hey man, you want to join a band where most of the people don't wear shoes? So, hey, you want some sourced mayonnaise? It's locally sourced. Fucking Seattle.

I'd love to go back to Seattle so bad. Seattle's a, I'm very excited to do the show tomorrow at laughs because Seattle's a fucking fun city. It's a very fun city. Forgot how many fucking hills are in this place downtown? Getting getting buns the steel over here. Look at the blue nod in this fucking head. I know you went on the whole Eddie Vetter tour. This is his favorite bagel place. There's a lot of people that he walks. Walked the path that he walks. He took the Q-14 bus.

I know this one. I'm going to say we should take our next break right now because we're going to come back and we're going to need some time with that Nick Cannon clip. Oh, yeah? We're going to have to take that one for a little dance. We're probably going to have to breathe slowly just like every woman

He's been with woman Well, should we say I mean The Niners lost just today. I have to say that's probably our Wendy's what's fresh Wendy's everybody what's fresh segment of the day featuring the Niners losing to the Cowboys and a young boy Outwitting Dan Sot or everybody brought to you by Wendy's Right now Wendy's try. They're all brand new fries for yourself Guaranteed to be hot and crispy or they'll replace them everybody. That's Wendy's what's fresh. Yes

The only way I can describe what happened yesterday in the stands was that kid mentally walked me down he ran you he ran you right down you're talking about him a day later this kid this I'm still thinking about him still mad I know if you see him again you want more you know I you know it did you think damn be honest have you thought of things you wish you would have said differently when you had the chance no because I'm glad Katie was there to remind me that he is a child and i am a grown adult thank god that is a smart thing you go get your head and

for little was that a great point with katie went to get a drink and you had him you were hanging over the tunnel by his look by his look or i'll drop you think i'm gonna drop you think i'm not strong enough or i came back and he was sitting next to katie putting his number in her phone You think I'm not strong enough? Or I came back and he was sitting next to Katie, putting his number in her phone. I got, man, this kid really is out into me. He spreads my cheeks and he makes me scream.

He's my number one daddy got to make him cream inside of me. Just keep riding me. When I'm stepping in town, it's my favorite sound. You made out a little more what a beautiful tone So soft to leave Just keep riding me Everybody, welcome back to the show It's the mon-fire everybody

This is Link 22 with its own Yeah, oh I thought this was Link 22 song Gain or Cream thought it was a Gainle Cream Pie. Gainle Cream Pie. This is the song that Jacob listens to with his nephew. They laugh. Is that what they do?

They laugh. Do you listen to this song in the car when you take him for his don't tell your parents milkshake? Yeah, if you know if you tell anybody we can't have these moments anymore. Yeah, we'll both be in trouble nephew. You know, both, if you were to want that would you? I'll be a jail. Big J is going to also be at the comedy connection in Providence, Rhode Island,

December 30th through January 1st. That's right. New Year's Eve, Providence, Rhode Island. Go get your tickets. Uh, you can get your tickets another two or a. A big J comedy dot com and the worst going to be back at the stand Tuesday December 28th to stand NYC dot com for tickets Yeah, National coming up pretty so I want to fill that place up. Yeah, National go buy tickets for Zane At Dan Soder is that Spokane Comedy Club this weekend December 9th of the 11th at Dan Soder is at Spokane Comedy Club this weekend December 9th of the 11th. Laugh Boston after that the 16th through the 18th for tickets and all tour dates of course go at dansoder.com and laughs is tonight or tomorrow. Tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night. laughs in Seattle. It's already sold out so go fuck yourself Seattle. I already said it to you. I don't know. No, no, no, it was sold out from people that from out of town, from the outside Seattle. No, you sad sack fucks. Guys, bonfire merch available now at the bonfiremerch.com.

Order by Wednesday, December 8th for Christmas delivery. But we got hoodies, t-shirts, a lu-witsky shirt. We're going to add some stuff too. And what I think is they're making it the design, the flame design is color changing. So there's a flame design where you can pick like five different colors that you want It's a little custom little custom flame. Wait, you could buy but it's it's set in stone It's not like old lotto sneakers right where I can change it to a different color every day No, it's not swatch. Sorry Jay. Not a not a not a velcro

It's not swather bull at all. I Specifically as for velcro to be involved in these designs you guys flushed me out you boxed me out You're a velcro you're a velcro fanatic. No one took I said there should be I said there should be kept Lauren the hoodies everyone laughed at me you all got and then when someone dies on TV and they're wearing one of our sweatshirts you're gonna feel like an ass ass hole you're gonna feel like a real ass you're gonna really got feel like a fucking ass And how they shows already sold that's coming up it's gonna be a fun one a funny We man this show

Fucking flies we have so many things to talk about but we want to get to this Nick Cannon This Nick Cannon deal here because I saw video video it was too small it was too small on my phone so I really think that's crazy yeah well no all the all the hullabaloo's about how big is dick is by so I'm saying I saw like a gift on my a gift whatever on my phone so I really don't see the to me it look like pants wrinkle that happens okay well just by that I have a video that's making It's trending on Twitter was a video of Nick Cannon on his show on the Nick Cannon show dancing around in a suit and

Through his slacks you can see his Soft hang which is a hang that any man would kill for hard well i'll tell you what his dick is so big and long it is that it did twins twice i believe yes this guy shoot this guy's dick is so much issues double batch surprises not have an octoplets just a machine gun in the man gira gira gira gira gira gira gira

he calls dick a fucking oozy got an m16 on him let's see this let Let's see this some bitch Very job. I'm already got the Christmas socks. There is red and green It's such a big penis Thank you got that clean right? Click my heel me. Click my heel. I mean like that could stop so early and that's just fold of the pant. Do we think that though? Lewis said to me, Lewis I was wearing jeans to me and he goes, damn, I can see your dick roll and I'm like, you can't. So whatever you're seeing

is not that. It's all an optical illusion you're saying. I'm saying he's got to choose which side and it's clearly on the his left are right for sure. But that thing is not riding down like that and I mean on his show, that's show I haven't I haven't taken the chance. Yes, Christine, we see the cock. Christine was jerking it off with the arrow. So jerking it off with the fucking mouse. She's like, God, look at this. Look at this prize. Like, there it is. There it is, of anybody missed that. All the way down.

Ha, ha, ha. No, and there's no, is there ever a picture of Nikkehns like Dick in the world, like a fat-pun in the cock? I don't think he's got, I don't think he's got fat. I don't think he's got fat. I argue that part of my job is looking at Black Dick. You're wrong and do your job and honestly it was an interview so you knew it was coming But it's also I gotta say something about this too. It's so rigid in that Right where it is right there

Yeah, well those are slim cut those are like slams cut jeans up against No, he looks like an aunt he dresses like a lion tamer. But I mean, he fucking I'm telling you that uh, I think that wrinkle is I don't know. Dude, he looks like the lawyer. I think it's misleading. I think it's mislead. I'm here to talk about all pink and why we should keep that as a thing. I'm going to talk about a of why our flavors are so bold and juicy. He uh, I'm sure Nick Cannon's got a monster cock for sure. It wouldn't surprise me. He's tall. The women he scored. I don't think he has a small one. He's in good shape. And I won't I see your point. You think it's you think that's all wrinkle. That's all. I'm telling you

it's 70% wrinkle. Oh, you know what? Okay. Now, one point he turns his thing and I feel like I see the outline of the head, which was lower than I was picturing right there. Oh, I think it's all penis. Also Jacob, let's keep my few things. He's very skinny. All this said, I tell you, he's got probably a big, huge cock.

Sure. But yeah, I think I see outside of the head right there. Yeah. Those pants are right up in his ass crack and where his dick start. You know what I mean? Like his balls are pushed up in those. His balls aren't loosened those things.

So it's right where it has to be, and it is just showing off that he's got a, he's got a good, that might be a, that might be a show or not a grower, we don't know. I feel like word would have been out about Nick can't have any huge they asked to see if there's any rumors about it Christine do a 90 percent of your job looking up black dick please if I could uh... implore you to do 90 percent of your job or can you go to your your large work portion, which is searching peanuts, searching peanuts. I can relate to this with the big fat hog he's got on him.

I know he can. Jesus, I know he can. I can't. I know he can. Now, you know, that's why you don't wear a sewinger when that rest is very time. I mean, you have to be an ego maniac to wear pants to accentuate it like that, to that degree, because those are like suffocating is, is, is, is, is don. They're so tight.

It's definitely not going to allow. Smushing is don to his leg. A boner in that thing would be uncomfortable. First of all, your head's going to drag across your body and that, and that material, the pant. So these are concerned. Yeah, that's what, well, Blackloo and I are talking about it. We were saying like, that's the, Oh, we're, uh, surprise, surprise. You these are concerned. Yeah, that's what we'll black Lou and I are talking about it. We were saying like that's the fun. Oh, we're surprise surprise. You and black Lou, you guys

talk a big dick together. We have a text thread with other big dicks. Yeah. We're not big dick problems. It's a whole different thread. Now you would know what that thread is. Yeah, dude, sorry, that's on our hammerheads

Text yeah, we got a Johnny Johnny Hamson there. I call him Johnny Johnny There's a couple other guys the guy that dirt diggers based off of That's so fucking funny Metzger there It's a but the slacks are like the basketball shorts of the formal world where you can get a good rub on if you don't got underwear. Oh, it's going to show you what's up. Yeah. Yeah, so that's why he was probably just fucking commando. Could say something. I'm right back to underwear, basketball shorts and socks.

I'm right back. Yeah, you like it? Basketball shorts and socks. I'm right back. Yeah, you like it? Wait, you're back to socks? I'm back to socks. And remember I said I was going commando basketball shorts and no socks to bed for a little while. And it was very comfortable. And it is very comfortable. But I'll tell you what, I'm thinking those nights while comfortable, I did not sleep well through the night.

Woke up a lot., woke up a lot, woke up a lot during the night, and I think it's because I'm not prepared for action. Do you think you're, in case someone, in case Ninja's breaking and trying to hurt Christine, you're not ready to go? Or I can't, myself escape while they're killing her, I have to sit there and take a two because I'm my little dinker flopping around, nothing an idiot. I, I, for some reason, when I sleep with my boxers and my, like, basketball shorts on, when I, I'll take off the, just a basketball shorts. So I'm just down to my boxers in the middle of the night and sleep better.

Yeah, I was enjoying, I was enjoying my nuts that knocking around at night. I really was. But I'm back to the socks too. Socks are back on also. I don't know if I have to spring in action. No more footless party. I don't sleep very sound. I wake up a ton.

Like a ton. Do you too, Jacob? Yeah, I do. Yeah, you never know what's going to happen. What Jacob? Yeah, I mean, if I don't take something, I'm up like, I've been taking melatonin. Well, I don't know what level, I don't know what milligrams of melatonin, I would need to sleep all a bunch of dolls were staring at me, but I'm telling you, my house,

a lot. You would need a lot. I have Christine, who does stare like a doll. Those are fun too though. Nick Cannon on Nick's cannon. As he does with many guests, Howard, this is Stern asked Nick about a sex life and penis size. He said, you could ask around. I never had any complaints.

He said, if you measure from the base, it's around nine inches in length. The last time he measured was probably when he was 19. Damn. Damn. Nine inches nine inches impresses anybody. Yeah, dude. That's about, that's like a, that's a salute, that's a salute amount of length. I'd say 10 inches is where you'd probably start having, is the inches where people probably start going like,

I can't fuck that, like that's just gonna be uncomfortable. Sometimes, I'm gonna say all the time, I'm saying plenty of times, so you could probably fuck people. Cause you're a 10-inch dick but I've heard I've heard that Like I've heard women complain about guys that have two big addicts because they're like you can't do anything Can't do right at all. That's what I say bitches, right? No, but Joe don't don't you ever think cuz I know and you're like you know

You're like I'll take a 12 inch dick, but isn't that kind of like your twilight zone? Like if you had a 12 dick and then you couldn't have sex with anybody because they're like, no, it's too big I don't want it. No, you're absolutely right. You know, I'd like a seven and a half eight. That's what I'd like That's what you're in the market for. That's what I'd like. Yeah I think nine to I don't want honest to God. I don't want like if I want a fuck I want if I don't want women to tap out from fucking because they can't take it anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah, cuz it hurts Yeah, I don't want women to tap out from fucking because they can't take it anymore. You know, I mean yeah because it hurts Yeah, I don't want that so it's like Like women with tight vaginas and it's like

Is there a thing is too tight is that a thing? Are the women have tiny vaginas or shallow vaginas? I've never I've never heard of a shallow vagina. You as you probably guessed. Yeah. No, but I haven't either. I haven't either, but I'm saying like, is that a condition? Can that be a thing? Oh, probably.

But I've also, I know I guess I've made girls soar before, but I always assume that's my body, girth pushing their legs apart. They're really getting pancake on every thrust. Yes, I'm doing more damage, I'm doing joint damage more than puzzle damage. Oh, the old Jernskies.

Yeah, has has to be wearing boxers, though, or else, if it was like bikini underwear underwear it would only only like two inches of the base would come out and then the rest of his penis would just come out the bottom of the underwear right yeah it depends how he rides it up he could do it MC Hammer style where he points it straight down and out uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh out. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. It comes in hammer. Do you know there's a Pete Davidson dick Dildo now? What? What? That's got something on it. That was in lose. That was in lose email. Lou, what was that? Black Lou, what was that? There's a vibrator that was already out. But actually came soda is releasing

a Dildo that has tattoos on it and uh... looks pretty big not going to know it's all and it's also though there was already a vibrator p david some vibrator yet had his face on it but it wasn't anything special okay and then there was uh... this is a this is a little bit of the isn't this one though have like it's came so to think it's like where that you can use it like uh... whatever the remote control shit stuff right

it's supposedly went to the knowledge you get supposedly went when snl or something is on or when he's talking like it'll fucking it'll fuck you i guess it's called teladill donics that's so funny that there's a guy that has a like a computer engineering degree that has to work at teladill donics to make a robot it's teladill donics teladill electronics any time you hear Pete going like Yeah, exactly go. So I was talking about the thing. Oh god, it's happening The bus You know jirate whatever pizza on the screen That's so funny. Yeah, that's so funny. They're using that same technology for another app where you order food

and it vibrates and makes you come right before your food gets to your door. That one? That same technology. Yeah, I saw that one too. With you. I like to pop off before my food got there. I don't know vibrating underwear going to do it, but do a little jizz and munch. Yeah. I mean, I'll put some, I'll fiddle around with some teladodonics. Dude, if you get a fake pus that went around feeling anxious, just clean up. Oh, yeah, dude, whenever a young Samahai comes on the screen, it just starts sucking me off. I don't think that's what Pete's dick looks like at all. Is that the, is that what they're saying it is? That's a monster

car. That's not talking decades. Yeah, well, feast will feast Jacob. Yeah, eat mind your mind you wait what it go down go down a little bit this is paper magazine to uh cams.com with like p.d.d.s and mgk to iful tower fans that's cool oh is there also uh an mk in mgk also is there an mgk dick machine gun kels i don't know what i want to make a new york city's having a dildo war this weekend is there an mgk dick machine gun kels i don't know what i think you are city said new york cities having a dildo

war this weekend what are these what what is paper magazine what is this news what's in the smut again do you see the bottom of that go to the bottom of the page please look at this the other stories a cams dot com on p david's in mgk to i full-tower fans p david's as a crush on Leonardo Caprio had a crush and clear your schedule because NYC is having a dildo war this Saturday. Prepare for dildo war. I would assume a dildo war that no teladildonix are able to be used that would probably be cheating.

Your own strike. Yeah, that's a real like.'s the sky net of Dildos. Tell Dildonix. We have to take the chip at a piece dick and destroy it. Yeah, in the fall. The guys and he goes guys was one more chip. That's where? Yeah, he's pointed his dick. Oh yeah. So no, you don't have to go. No, thank you guys for showing me how to love and stuff. Yeah, no, you guys are pretty chill. John, you don't have to go. No, thank you guys for showing me how to love and stuff Yeah, no you guys are pretty chill John. You're a pretty cool boy. I hope you learn to grow up in bang Oh, thanks for letting me uh thanks again me to know you guys and whatever I Kind of understand why you cry now Danny I want you to come with me right now, okay? Okay, I'll show my room. I'll see your room. Okay. I'll show you my room.

I'll show you my room. Hey, I'll show you my room. It's totally cool. Yeah, man. Having a billboard named after you is very funny. This is how it is. My name's Modeled After You. Weird.

I vote, Pete, since he was a very young kid, talked about how big his fucking dick was. So it's this is when he was a kid. since he was a very young kid talked about how big his fucking dick was. So when he was a kid, when he was a young or you know when I met him, he was like 17 or something. Yeah. I think already like 17 or 18. He was already talking about how big his hog was. That's going to be a problem. You guys, it's going to change the landscape at an end of time, but this has sucked the entertainment. This is up to different. Yeah. What you're about to see is something way different. Buckle up. Because by the way, by the way, the market has got a blow your mind. Well, dude, I mean, before before he was blowing and getting all of like the big timey, like celebrity ones,

time he like celebrity ones. On a local level, there was a few where you were just like, damn, dude. Yeah. I mean, the one, you know, I don't want to say it, but like, uh, but you know, the one that everyone was like, really of all people really? Are you seeing the chat? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was, that was the one. And he was young was young then oh Jacob just shook his head. He's so upset damn Oh, yeah, Jacob, did you not know about that?

He's got all the dream girls Jacob Hollywood women jumping off a bridge for him. Yeah, it's crazy man Jacob Jacob this was before ever known in any way What can you do man? Yeah, he wasn't by the way. He wasn't even on guy code But and and by the way also the only one of comedians Pretty wild easy. I totally forgot about that. Yeah, that's a wild one. That one's surprising.

Thumbs down, you say thumbs down, Black Lou? Oh, you know the person is we're talking about, right? Yes, and it's, she's one of my favorite. He's one of my favorite WG's. Oh, yeah. Fucking white a list. Hmm, hmm, black glue. I'm sorry that we had to bring you down like that.

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