The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hi Hater (w/ Shane Gillis)

Episode Date: July 13, 2020

Jay recaps Reddit reviews to Dan, which take the sting off the criticism a bit. The guys imagine the love affair between Cardi B and Jacob. Shane Gillis joins the show and discusses his disgust of local news and debates who is the best weather man in the business.

You're listening to Comedy Central! BAM! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. O. Kersin. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8pm on Comedy Central Radio. Serious XM95 or on demand on the Serious XM app.

Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire SXM. Yo, Camberus, what's up? It's Black Blue, King, Tiger, and welcome to the Bonfire's Best of the Week. Coming up, Dan and Jay imagine the love affair between Cardi B and our very own Jacob. Plus, guest Shane Gillis talks about his disgust for local news, but first, Reddit offers the Bonfire some constructive criticism. Enjoy! Oh, and before I get out of here, please make sure to follow us on all social media platforms at the Bonfire SXM.

Even TikTok. It is so good to be back. It feels like forever. It was only a week, but it felt very, very long. I missed this show so much when you're not doing it. Yeah. And, you know, there's not much fan interaction on all the weeks of the show.

And I made the terrible, you're talking briefly before we started the show today. I made the, how long did it take on a stake? But I made the odd move of going on bonfires subreddit thing and boy oh boy That one thing is that you know what it is is for people that don't You know that are people are like Hey, you just take it. You know just fucking so what man. It's like it's really hard to read something about yourself that you're like

Number one, if it's like a there are times where there's like constructive criticism There is times where I'll read some shit, you know, I haven't gone on Reddit in a while and on our Reddit I've gone on Reddit, but I haven't gone on I Found that Reddit's much more enjoyable and other people's sub-reddits and not going in fucking our own. Because just when you go on your own, sometimes you read some shit that'll, maybe the person didn't intend to offend you. Or maybe they did.

And a lot of times Reddit, they do intend to offend. Like you, if you read that, you'd be like, pfft. But. Yeah, another stuff I read was, uh, solid. Listen, I understand that on this show, I think sometimes we can say stuff and come off like giant pussies, like I'm like, I'm saying when you read some stuff on Reddit, it sometimes comes

off like a sucker punch because it's about you. Unless you have a subreddit about you or other people talk because really that subreddit is for fans to talk openly and honestly, which again is why you can get some great constructive criticism sometimes. I've learned by going on several subreddits in the past couple weeks. Everyone is sick of Zoom shows and it makes fucking sense. However sick you are of doing Zoom times that by 10 and that's how we feel doing this show. It is, I did fucking morning press in St. Louis on the Riz show and being in a fucking radio studio

with other people, the first thought I had was like, man, I can't wait for the bonfire to come back in the studio. Oh, yeah, that's, so I would on right one day. It's like an hour or so and. It's too much time, dude. They hate to show. This is by, I've said, if you just wanted wanted to do this by what you read on the thing almost everybody is stop listening to this show We're a since quarantine because it sucks now. Okay, fair enough good notes Dan is

The rainbow is a Dan is Galey woke. Yes, and I am and I am raging racist christine should never fucking talk on microphone ever they they hate when she opens her mouth at all christine i hate to interject i know i cut cut you off non-stop jay but to interject christine uh i'm in a muzzle of you i'm sending you a bonfire muzzle which doubles as a face mask, so Oh, by the way, that's that's a that's a swinging pendulum by the way, Dan. I bowl over you. Well, you just did it

I pull over you you or or someone just come right back and goes no, no, no, Dan bowls over everything And then they give it and then they really want you shut up. They go, I have Jacob questions and then bowl of his answer and they hate that and just we want to get him and they want you to shut the fuck up. Jay, I'm sorry. I just need as a Jewish man, Jacob, how do you feel that Jay's comment as a fellow Jew was towards you? comment as a fellow Jew was towards you. Okay. I'm gonna cut you off right there. Let me cut you off right there. I didn't say.

The other one is that I found very interesting is some people think I'm down right. You said to Christine. I treat like shit. Some people think she deserves to be treated like shit. I don't treat like shit. How did it take us this long for us to do a big J. recap of fucking Reddit? Cause I, it's kinda, it's pretty entertaining and it honestly, it doesn't sting as much as when you read it.

Well, so funny. That was a- It's coming from a gay woke. That's the idea. But just the idea that there's something like, like the positive comment, as they go, Jay's abusive of shit and treats Christine like shit. And then some people are like, nah, no, no, she deserves to get treated like that.

And then you're like, you want to go and say, yeah, and it's like, wait a second, I don't treat like shit. So what's funny is I'm, I'm a, like a, a jittery stoner. I think all my thoughts jitter around a lot. That's how I would, I think is I, I'm a, I'm a like a jittery stoner. I think all my thoughts jitter around a lot. That's how I would think is I'm a little jitter bug. And dude, I completely understand people being like, you know, we're always funny about everything. So I even understood that when we talked about

the George Floyd protests, there are gonna be a lot of people that are like, hey dude, we don't come here for that. Incompletally understandable. Should I love that showing any sort of empathy for someone is like, you woke fag. And you're like, oh my God. It's like, hey, you know, maybe we should talk about,

by the way, I'm not saying I was right about everything. I was probably wrong about, I whole fucking knows. But- No, but it's not even about that. It's just the ultimate idea is, though, like- What's the sense of the show? Let me, Jay, let me, pull over you, and let you off, and not let you finish.

What I want to say is, is a friend who also is in a similar situation that when they read, you know, Reddit, and sometimes some shit comes up, that's, that, uh, fucking, gets you in the feels, hurts your feels. Sure. I will say, uh, I have, so, I have, so I got mad about a comment or whatever and I talked to old Gillis. And Gillis and I were talking about how everyone gets it.

Everyone catches it on Reddit. There's not one person that walks through the raindrops and everyone's like, this person's great. Dude, I went to Bill Burr's Reddit and people were like he fucking sucks Ever since he got married and had a baby he fucking sucks and paper tiger his latest Netflix special is Arguably his best special. I've watched every bill burrs special several times paper tiger is a fucking That's a that's a that's a banger that one right there is like you listen to the fucking paper tiger and that's like that's a banger. That one right there is like, you listen to the fucking paper tiger and that's almost

peak bill burr. And it's because he's aged in his career or whatever. My point of being is like, you can go to any subreddit and they dog on the show. And I think right now during the quarantine, a lot of people have a lot of frustration and anger and because shit's not regular we're not you know it's like when you get constipated or you have diarrhea you get frustrated because you're like I'm not fucking regular I mean they're not shading or it's as liquid shit all over the place so I kind of Understand that everyone's like fuck everything right now the point of reddit is

To be critical. Danny the bull, Gervano here. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just want to say no one's listening anymore. So you guys are delusional idiots. Yeah, well it's funny. It didn't get me really down at all.

I genuinely have such a thought of that. I go, if these people, I don't have to explain for this 5,000 time my discipleship to start, but you know, it's the best line in the movie. Why are they listening? Like people love and listen for this many hours. Why do you hear what you're going to say next? The people that hate and listen for like an hour more than that.

And like if they need it, why do they listen? Like that most common answer I want to hear what they're going to say next. So the reality to my thing is people coming on our subreddit to say they haven't listened to this show in months They're like why are you going on the separate? I was gonna check in on what you'd be talking about the show So we've hit a fucking nerve and a thing whatever that is I really honestly got to look at all of that is like people are engaged dude Zillian's of people knows and we don't know who they are they know us through this and

The show is one thing I'm not worried about is the quality of the show It's this not ideal on zoom. It's not the best situation for us Communically chemistry wise and all that stuff. However You still got two of the fucking Like like two friends that are just like that's such a good like riff together. And we put that out funny shit, every goddamn thing, if it's serious, it's funny. That's what it was interesting.

We said we both kind of got some things with people going like, people going either direction where they're like, geez, Dan got so serious about the George Floyd thing, at least Jay kept it funny. And then it's like other ones going like, Dan, thanks for trying to like shed some, you know, light and say something. Not the one I want.

That's not the one I want. That's not the one I want to be on where they're like, Hey, Dan, thanks for being a serious fucking pussy. And they're like, and fucking Jay just keeps making jokes and they're like, it's like we for the thousand time and, you know, there was comics that were tweeting out like to be more political door these times I go My fans know why none of my fans think I'm a racist none of my fans think that if you know me and Through what I do and all the broadcasting and everything and then you to the Dan

There's not you don't have you don't need me to tell you like it's like hey stop the presses Yeah, life's better You know, it's like yeah, if you know me, you know, it's like, why would I ever argue with Black Lives Matter? Black Lives Matter, why is that an argument? And now let's take the piss out of the whole thing, whether it be the Black Lives Matter movement or people who hate Black Lives Matter.

Exactly. You make fun of somebody who was so, if there was a video of somebody being so adamantly hysterical about wanting to tear down the uh... first of a column of statues i've left that just as hard as the guys you know it's like guys picking on a jerk off because they want to defend the fucking statue i don't get right is right and and the story so but we don't need to be so political. Well the thing that makes sure yeah the one that the one that really made me laugh

making me laugh or the guy or the ones that are like oh fucking so does this trying to protect his billions job everyone knows that it's like dude do you understand that if I got fired from billions it would just raise my clout in the comedy game so much more because I was definitely going if I got fired from billions it would just raise my clout in the comedy games so much more because I was definitely going out if I got fired for something it was probably something I was going for a joke. Because there's things I do in public or I go for jokes. So if there's something fireable which there definitely is fucking great. Cool man.

If you just gonna say if you just gonna put the words that was said on paper. Yeah, I You definitely fired. I mean, they would remove me from every major platform I want. If they just put the words on paper and go, this is the feelings of this guy. Yeah. No. No.

They would tear down my dance otter statue at the New Era Museum. The biggest head. The biggest head of the world. The biggest head of the world. The only eight and a half in a the new era museum. The biggest head, the biggest head of the world. The biggest head of the world. The only eight and a half fit of that we ever made. Also, what kind of fucking retard is like, oh dude, you're worried about losing your job?

Yeah, we all are, motherfucker, it's a pain. We're like, who's not worried about, I wanna know what kind of psycho walks around like, I don't fucking worry about losing my job. It's like, if I do, can I live with you? How about that? Now, I come fucking moving with you. Because I think that losing my job. It's like, if I do, can I live with you? How about that? Now, I come fucking moving with you because I think that's so funny when people are like,

he's just, now if I'm pandering for a job, fuck you, call me out for that. But you're trying to act like I'm not, dude, you know how much we, you know how you'd be, you call me out for everything, call everybody out for everything, it's funny. It's funny, but also like, you know how bummed out you'd be if we lost the bonfire?

People act like, people act like they'd be like, almost they're be if we lost the bonfire people act like people like like they be like To save their jobs first off not trying to save my job number two if we lost our jobs Jay and I would be fine. We would go start a podcast you know what I mean, but like But I've touched what I'm saying with the red thing it's really is that's I'm not wearing a stick And by the way everyone says it's so funny they go at each other. I know now everyone's going to say to me, well then don't listen. I'm like, sure.

I guess sort of is it? That is a reason. I hate to tell you this, but that is an actual solution. Yeah, you can just let's know it at all. I stopped listening to Reddit two months ago. Hello everybody, DJ Liu here. On Tuesday's show, BigJS the question, what type of body would you rather make love to? Paris Hilton or Cardi B? And then that morphs into what if Cardi and Jacob had a love affair?

Enjoy. Cardi B with that stripping background, that's like getting into a fist fight with a former hockey player. You're like, they're gonna, they're gonna be able to fucking throw. This is gonna be a problem. Like, are you gonna do stuff to you where you'd be like, oh, I shouldn't move, right? Like, you know, like, she'd be like, moving or wiggling around or you'd be like, yeah, oh, yeah. You're all really great. You're like, guard. He means to you too. It's like, she goes, yeah, you like when I suck that dick, you white motherfucker. Yeah. Oh, why is that gonna make like, oh, why is that gonna make me come?

She's like, you pink nipple weirdo. I'm about to blow. I didn't know I needed this. You know, your dick hair stubble hurt me. She would be so mean to me. Karin, stop yelling at me. Why, just stop being mean to me. Dude, Jacob kidding. That's why it's off, just don't be mean to me. Dude, Jacob, kidding.

I'm already worried. That's why it's soft. Wouldn't be the best. You're just having a nice bite. You're just, keep your legs together stupid. It's okay. I'm trying to suck your dick. I'm cuddlerr.

Let me suck your dick. He's like, I guess why are you doing bird noises? I'm making fun of me. Stop. She goes, stop moving. I'm not moving.'m making fun of me. Stop, she goes stop moving. I'm not moving. You do one of those disagreements, when children do it with like professionals

where they're like, hey, don't move your arms. I'm not moving my arm. Maybe I go to those arguments. Amber Rose, oh yeah, I forgot about her. Yeah, she's got a good body too, but. I see, I don't know what I'm like that. Oh, I would pick all of that and I don't have a dick where I'm like I'm gonna be pulling long strokes on these big butts I'm like I'll figure out

my positions but they're still they're gonna throw it down yeah yeah they're gonna they would bounce on me in a way that I feel like I would have to learn how to catch it. I mean, Amber Rose has fucked thugs into being little princesses. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy what that girl's pussy is done to be a fine man. If she can do that to those guys, she can make me an attorney in candidate.

She got to do it with face tattoos, like, you know, you don't put in, you want to go to the botanical gardens? Yeah. She's like, actually, he got out of jail for murder and we're gonna go, we're gonna go crafting next Saturday. Here to the pottery. Who is that pussy?

Yo, yo, I'm trying to put down the guns and pick up the clay pots, yo. Yo, yo, my man is, yo, my man's yo, my man's was dead. And I knew that their muffins was going to be out about 10 a.m. and then I'm going to send them a muffins. And you're like, you know, we go into a gallery today to look at Southwestern art. I mean, and for her to get let loose on like a normal, like a guy like me or Jacob, I be like, oh, how do I move? How do I move in this situation, you're gonna get us both hurt. You gotta tell me that.

Hey, stop it. You can't get us both hurt. You want us to both get out of this alive? I don't know. And you do the right thing. I mean, yeah, Amber Rose and I show girl like you lay with like in an eye position on your back with your boner up and she does like a full,

full split across your body, like facing perpendicular to you. I bet she like LeBron chocks up before she gets in there. She's like, all right, let's get in there. Get on you and you're like, even when we were talking about that, it made me think of the Garth line where he fucks combating her in the second Wayne's world and she's dancing all squiggly. That's so fucking funny, dude. Yes, she would run right through us. I mean, Amber Rose has, I mean, her pussy, she had a TV show, everything off of her pussy. She is uninteresting and Doma's balls

And that like just that of her right there has made her like a fucking TV show. Yeah, like whatever a 10 episode run Yeah, it's crazy. It's like some people just show up and shoot their shot and fucking nail it and she was like hey Kanye Like Kanye broader, you know, didn't she get on through like being Kanye's girlfriend and then yeah, yeah, and then he found Kim. All right. Christine's always trying to gas up. She's like, and then she loves his Armenians. Where's her?

Can you see a picture of this Christine? You will all remember that I did work with Amber on the Foxhull Celebrity Week weekend live from Atlantic City. Oh, yeah You've blown up what you saw her dude her bodies were Tarded her standing next to you Jacob. We're here like I have no shot at all if she would have wanted to fuck you You've been in the same room with her which she just To destroy you Amber, yeah, if someone I mean I thought you could someone

Yeah, if someone I mean I thought you could someone You know that you know how they do all those memes of like the the 12 black eyes Standing behind the white girl on the couch. Yeah, if someone could put Jacob as the girl on the couch Big booty girls behind them Amber Amber Rose fucking Cardi B all the Jacob forget the fact that the violence she would bring upon your your whole genital area on pure if you're picking now the best go back to the

paraso yeah if you pick these three are you still going paraso? I wasn't in the amber when I met her and I don't think she looked like that photo that we're watching now. I think this is Photoshopped for short day. I think you'd be... The real life was different in my opinion. I would still take Paris.

I don't know why Paris is the only alternative. I mean, she's like the other end of the spectrum. These are the upshades, Jacob. Well, because she's wayfishly thin thin, small boobs kind of like small ass. Look, I'm more of like an athletic, but I mean, I can tell you who I think is like an ideal for me. Well, what CW show is this girl on? Flash.

I saw her in an exotter green arrow. She played away. She played, green arrow. She played away too. She played away too. Alison Brie. Oh, all right. Glow. I'm going to do my finger right now. Christine, bring up Alison Brie.

And I don't even know what she looks like. And put her up next to Amber Rose and fucking Cardi B. And it's just going to be such a bizarre difference. That's a choice. That's a taste. Alison Grieves. Awesome. She's on community, madman. I'm not saying she's got a pretty girl. She is a pretty girl.

It's a girl that if she was like, hey, I want to fuck you. Everyone would be great. I'm just saying that like you're so... I mean, that's not even a contest, dude. I've just say like like you're so much like uh... yet i mean that's not even contested i've just a like what we're doing right now just as a woman is also shitty that i do have to state like i think all of us be happy to fuck all of these women if any one of the single one of them

any i just date for the record any one of them i'd be like also the entire life the entire premise of this entire thing was that none of us would be able to satisfy any of these women by a long stretch of the imagination. Well, here's the best part of the thing too.

Here's the best part. You should always be understood when we do these judgmental things. None of these girls we're talking about would fuck any of us, maybe Dan. But they would never fuck any of us. It would have to take. Now, it would have to tell you. You can get Allison Bredeux.

She's one of his brothers. She's married to what's his name? Yes, Franco. Yeah, one of the Franco brothers. James, yeah, the younger, the likable one, Dave Franco. And he settled. He settled. No way, man.

What I was going to say is they, this is the same thing as we did with Roman and Sierra, where it it's like yeah, this is all us being like If you could live in that world which girl would you prefer in the real and reality all of them just walk right through us There's not even like they'd be like oh wow that was sex You know, but we know that and in this forum we get to do to them what they would do to us And I'm saying when I throw you those options Jacob the fact that you want to bang that Stork above all else is insane to me All right, I

Bring it up like yeah, I mean I want to stated I have no shot when any of these And Jacob it would be great to find out that Jacob is like Cardi B's weakness, you know, his bad bitch from the street. And she's like, who is that? And Jacob's like, Hey, we're here. And she's just like, I need to be with you. She's just always around Jake.

She leaves. She leaves off set. The way who should. Is it off? See is your offset about I found true's love Jacob's like hey man, I guess we'll forge you where she's taking your mail I have to lotion parties butt guys. I got a jam out of here. Sorry man. I gotta keep that thing smooth as marble. Last one that kept is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Let's shake up day nice to me. I'm sorry. She'd love on you and you'd sell our merch. I do. She would do it on you. And then she'd be like this, Jacob, you're real. You're in my crew. I can trust you.

Who's fake? And you'd be like, I don't really like some of those guys from the neighborhood. You know, for a handout. It's like stroking. He's stroking his chest as he lays on like a fucking purple sexual leather sofa. Cardi, hun. I want to go shopping. She goes, how much?

Yeah. This much. This is what he's, and then he kisses on the cheek. I love you. She goes, you're my weakness. Yeah. He was putter here. There's an optioning off a Joey Lugano body suit. And she's like, you know I got to take care of you because I love you. Oh, Jacob.

Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob.

Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. I want to buy your old car. Okay. My man's I'm turning the Joey Logano car into a bed. For me. For me. He's sleep. No, he stay sleep. Jacob showing us when we go over to their place.

And look right here here the driver's side door opens right up. He's getting right in the bed. This thing is having a fridge full of syrup and he goes, he goes, do you remember when he goes and you have backwards right next to the bed. That's great. I Is Shit you has the mattress in my legano bed. He goes fuck helix. I got sleep number Yeah, we had a float in from Europe. This is Italian marble Dude showing you guys this is where the show really happens when I take my baths. Dude Jacob showing the amenities of living with a wealthy

Cardi B. Oh, this is a middle of the room, tub. Yes, have you guys ever had their special seasonal Hennessy? It's a pumpkin flavor. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running lying in the fetal position with her.

Dude, Jacob, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying if you were her weakness, and you guys, and you guys, this worked. You know what I'm supposed to, you know what I gave a shot for Cardi? You'd have surprised I liked chantlands. I guess. And no. I love plantinous.

I use it with my great notes. Oh man. I was really fond of Christmas in the Bronx. She's actually really a good dancer. Yeah, everybody knows she's a dope rapper, but no one ever talks about her fly ass dancing. All right, I love you, boo. Just him saying that loud.

I love you, boo. Hello, this is DJ Lou, Crackle Crackle everybody on Thursday's quarantine loss tapes Jain Christine's internet gets a little wonky and they drop out but the young bulls Shane Gillis is on hand to talk about his hatred of local news Here it is. Hey, welcome back to the bonfire Comedy Central Radio series XM 95 on Dan Soder and my co-host, Big Jogerson, gone but not forgotten. His internet dropped out, hope you're back any moment. Our guest, Shane Gillis from the Mountain Shane Secret Podcast. I woke up to my mom watching the news, and she's very aggressive about it. Yeah. She's like, this is my time to watch the news. she's like dude mom's love news intentionally loud

intentionally loud the whole time and Mom's mom's if you fall asleep on the couch mom's love to bang dishes and to turn up the news as loud as possible Oh, it's totally loud. Yeah, there's a lot of I had to be like hey, can you turn it down? My mom would always whatever it's gonna be human. That's all the local news sucks. It sucks. And all moms all moms care about is they just want to chill off to the weather because they feel like they know the local weather guy. Yeah, my mom and I was like, hey, it's gonna it's gonna hail in Lancaster later. Oh really? No, dude, you know how many times? You know how many times I heard growing up, like, it's supposed to be in the low 70s this

weekend and you're like, why do I care? I don't care. It's fucking Wednesday. I'm gonna be surprised, like I always have a little wake up all the time. Damn, I got told, I got told growing up to shut up so many times when the weather came all Because my mom's like shut up the weather's on and I'm like so anyways, I don't think I'm handling the death of dad Well, and she's like shut up greens on Ed Green on news 4 is about telling me if it's fucking about the rain or not We got fucking hurricane shorts out in Philly dude got in her case shorts

It's great to Sean Jackson probably hates him We got fucking hurricane shorts out in Philly dude got in her case shorts Great to Sean Jackson probably hates him, but he's a lot of You're bigger fan of a of a of a going aim. They just I mean they're kind of dumb I think I don't know they just were they were just like talking about racism literally It was I watched every segment go coronavirus racism coronavirus racism coronavirus right? I mean that was every single segment was why and then they do a fun one every segment go coronavirus racism, coronavirus racism, coronavirus rate. I mean, that was every single segment. And then they do a fun one, and then they go, and a catch show.

Yeah. Yeah, no, they would do that. They would occasionally toss in like a, yeah, a bit. Here's a car for all of your kids. Ah, this isn't the time for this. Come on. There was one, and I don't know the details on it.

I was half asleep on a couch looking at it. Yeah. Looks like a black dude in Georgia just fired a gun into a truck full of white people and killed a lady, killed a white lady. And they were like, did he feel threatened for his life? Because there was a bunch of white people on a truck? I think so. There's local news, that everyone was defending the guy. Dude, local news, trying to handle, local news trying to handle was defending the guy. Do local news, trying to handle local news, trying to handle racism in the coronavirus, is like, we're just open up and micr, try to be Doug stand-hope and they're doing like big, like government jokes and you're like, you can't even fucking tell a joke.

Shut up. What are you even talking about? Yeah, that's always one of the funniest things is seeing local news get out of there. Like, I hate local news. Yeah, it is. Local news, dude, there's a weather guy. I think it was weather or maybe sports. Local guy, he was young.

It was me and my ex-girlfriend and her cousin, we're at the bar in Harrisburg. His dude walked in and her cousin loved him. Yeah. And this guy walked in like he was the fucking man. And I was like, yeah, that's one of the biggest dickheads I've ever seen in my life.

He was still like in his suit. He was like, who's ready for some shots? Like you are with that. And then I remember my girlfriend's cousin was like, she like the argument was hilarious. She hit me with like, he's cooler than you'll ever be. Like something like that. It was something like that.

It was something like that. And I was like that weather guy's a fucking bitch. And I got we almost broke up that me and my girlfriend. She sided with my cousin. It was like shame being an asshole. I was like the weather guy is a douche. Yeah, it's the argument. What is the argument? Because he can run a double doppler. You think he's a fucking badass? I hate that guy. Yeah, there is, it would, I would love to hear a story of women that hooked up with a local news anchor that thought he was like big time. Definitely hooked up. She definitely hooked up with them. Oh, really? That night? No, I think I believe she had hooked up with him before. That's why she was like, he's so awesome, right? And I was like, I'm fucking bitch.

Yeah, like I fucking sucks. I said to him that the doctor was his mother. Oh, perfect, perfect timing. Jay, we were were while you were gone. We were talking about local local news and how much it sucks and how how local news people are just corny as fuck. Did you say about Hurricane Schwartz? He brought up Hurricane Schwartz. I was going to get married. Jerry Pentecoli went national but he why he was in still getting gerbils up his butt. I was always the same. And don't worry, Colorado. I didn't forget about news for his head green. That was my guy. Weather guy. Weather guy. You're a weather guy. Didn't

have a weather pun in his name. It was green. Only hurricane shorts. Nobody else has that. No, there's definitely like storm Matthews and Shiloh. We have Dallas Reigns in LA. Yeah. And it's our EIG and us. Bring them up. Bring them up right now. I want to see Dallas Reigns. Oh, he's a jerk off for sure. Hurricane Schwartz is pretty great. I want to see fucking tornado Macatams. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, the biggest cock Asian. Oh, look at him. He's a dummy, Tran. Dude, look at Dallas Reigns. Dallas Reigns looks like he has to be choked to come. His hair never doesn't look like that. Mad, 24 hours a day. 24 hours a day, Dallas Reigns hair looks like that.

You know, it's a good thing. You know, he hosts late night, the comedy store. I guess so, man. Women love when you know what's coming My teeth are you're a via if you're a female that wants to sit next to me at my desk you better make with the plus my teeth are so fake their blue He's an LA guy Oh, the Jedi though. I didn't know that bring up. He's a Sith Lord Jay fucking learn shit first of all. Let's let's see Sith Lord Dallas friends Darth range

Darth If he didn't circle my Darth Rains How's no one no one in the comments of this funny enough to write Darth Rains. Yeah, dude already just give it away. There was only two comments on a man. The house reigns is not, I'll say what Christine, you're soon to be the only person to remember him. He has a, also toss up shorts, dude, give me some shorts. Yeah, dude, I wanna see Hurricane Schwartz.

And then I can't, dude. And then also bring up Ed Green, that fucking classically handsome man. Oh, see Hurricane Schwartz is not a looker, dude. He's the gene statistical of weathermen. Dude, Ed Green will steal your mom, dude. Watch out. This guy was not, it was not, quote unquote, reigning pussy on him. He probably had a nice family life. I made it that decent amount of money because you know his name, but man, he was definitely not getting newscaster

plus no way. Ed Green's at the eye. Jay, Jay. I don't know. I don't know. He's well known, bro known bro Jerry Penn Coley was out there so much he was getting journals jam Is if you're at the Western Stock Show and Ed Green shows up hydra mom Green dude Ed Green will steal your fucking mom Ed Green will say a guy I don't want to hang out with I'm saying again, but we end green looks like a guy I don't want to hang out with get green. I agree I'm gonna be yours Rick's a bitch dude shorts shorts all day hurricane shorts sucks Yeah, the tie asked dork look at him again dude I'm starting to turn into shorts dude

Yeah Shane's gonna be hurricane I was gonna be a king dude I was gonna be a king dude I'm gonna be Hurricane Duelist. I was gonna be a Hurricane Duelist. That's Shane a bow tie and some glasses. Let him predict what's coming. See Hurricane Schwartz's wife. Sir, see Hurricane Schwartz's nudes.

See if there's a faphoning on your Schwartz. Hurricane Schwartz's laughing. Can't eat smoked show life. Oh, okay. Hurricane. What? All right. Oh, what? Hurricane Schw What? All right. Oh, what? Hurricane Swarth has got a dime piece. Obviously.

Let's see, let's see a picture. A dime may be stretching it, but she's a final look. And then someone looks like, that one looks like they're a punch on. Yeah, and also, I wonder if Swarth has seen me in my art. Yes, I think he's watched you construct and build and then destroy.

I think Lou Tilly saw me before. Lou Tilly got Lou Tilly. The only one used to be on Lou Tilly's like, how do you corner a couple of times? Yeah, Lou Tilly. Lou Tilly looks like a jerk off. Dude, Philly all Philly fucking media people. Just all, they're all just whops

It's great. They really are. They're a bunch of fucking Italian dudes and they're like, yo, what cheese steak do you like? That's just a fucking episode. Christine, could you internet? Fact check, the Jerry Pentecholue puts Jerbal up his butt. I don't believe any of the stories because that's happened too much, but you to assume once the word is out, someone's put a Jerbal up there. Dude, I didn't realize that all Denver local, all local newsmen in Denver are just

like hot older dudes bring up Ron Zipolo over here. Z a p p o l o. Dude, it's supposed to be. Dude, steal your mom country. Look at all. Sam Champion. Hang on, say that one more time. I was looking for the gerbil story. Oh, Ron Zipolo. Bring up Ron Zipolo from News 9. I think I'm trying to guess all the guys that got my mom all geeked up. Ed Green. You know, Polo. Meet these guys. We do morning TV on the road. I mean, these guys, and they're just exactly what you think. They're just like, uh, just like guys like He's cheese dicks. Yes, Dicks you say and they say something and they say also Yeah, also they're willing also they're willing to do this As they'll talk to you and you go

It's like yes fucking hot out here, right? Can you just goddamn? Fucking weather to break man sucks came a shit time of year man But you know hopefully the show's will be good right. I guess and we're live. They go. Hi. I am here with Like they really do that fucking weird. Yeah, dude Ron guys awesome Ron Zipolo. Yeah, dude don't sleep on Look at him fucking cranking a cigar dude. He's fuck that's a handsome bro You'd him and I greener fucking some lady killers on the local news Zipolo isn't to some weird shit. Oh, yeah, dude I bet he's in some weird. He's been to a lot of like key parties and like he's been in rooms with a lot of guys

or dicks out. Oh definitely been in like cherry hills and like always mansion, you know, like in a robe. And he's like, he's like, John, I'm done with it upstairs. Let her cool up. I'm gonna give it to her. There's a wife, dude. I don't know, is that his wife? Type in Guma. Yeah. Runs the polo's Guma. I don't fucking kiss from the mouth. What are you fucking crazy? Hey, it's Big J. Overson, and I hope you enjoyed

this week's Best of the Bonfire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 PM Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bonfire at SexM. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

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