The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - High School Crush

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

The guys go down a memory lane of food, fat, and love.

Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Kelly. And it's Big J. Okerson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just the podcast. Hey, guess what? For full episodes of the Bond Fire, you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. Okreson and Robert Kelly What's up everybody welcome to serious XM Fraction talk the bonfire with me Robert Kelly and the man the myth

Big J. Okreson and the crew were all here that was my first time intro in the show and god damn it did I do alright my toes were twiggling though they were tapping away all nervous underneath but up top I was cool as a cucumber you nailed it the whole crew's here we got Lou we got black Lou we got Jacob we got Christine her back is almost back she's got eyes shadow and high heels on yeah she, she put on a makeup. She looks good To can I say that? Oh, sorry for noticing. I it's the first time I've put on makeup since moon tower last year Yeah, Jay told me he actually walked up he goes, hey man. Is he Christine's face? She looks so beautiful today That's why I mentioned it actually said sorry. We were a little bit late Christine of the cake on makeup like a street whore That was a way of putting it. Yeah, I just cleaned it up a little bit. He did he brushed it were a little bit late, Christina, to cake on makeup like a street whore. That was a way of putting that down.

I just cleaned it up a little bit. Probably did. He did. He brushed it off a little bit. Um, today clearly we're going to be talking black heavy politics. Uh, we got public enemy cranking on the thing. Uh, time to mix up in some black issues. Everybody. Straight away man's had it too good for two long. If you asked me, uh, man, it's had too good for two of them. If you ask me, I went to work on an Uber driver the other day. I've threw money at him. I called him a cunt.

And then, actually, I just explained how it happened because it is funny how it ended for me was, it was, we were leaving, who was with us? Josh? Josh had a Myers with us? Josh? Yeah. Josh Edamire is with us, and he was gonna come down to, we were going to dinner afterwards, but I wanted to stop at the weed place first, which is a block and a half from our house,

and when you drive in the Uber home, you pass it. So when we got to, like the street where they were turning, I go, when you make the left here Just stop for a second and meet him or gonna jump out and you can just continue on down the block for her And he goes sir you gotta put You gotta put the Address in as a second stop and I was like no, no, no, it's like I'm not asking you out of the way at all just like Stop for a second and we'll jump out and then you just take her the rest of the way you go sir

You have to put I go now you don't this is a simple thing that's been happening a bunch of times And I'm like pull the fucking car over and he pulls the car over and he's like and he's like shaking his head He's like he's like being all he got pissy voice sure and I took out five hours and I threw it at his face Oh, and I go there cut and then close the door and left Christine inside there with the hookers. Right. Yeah. I just left me the other thing. What the? I mean, it's a miracle you're here.

Is that why you wear makeup tonight? She has new lease on life. She's, what the fuck? I made it. What did you do? He started kind of talking, he started trying to talk shit about him to me. And I just said I'm like they just want to get out the car My wife would have took a side Who knows? He is an asshole. I get more upset that Christine doesn't take my side

I don't like when Jay makes things physical. She I'm never okay with it. There's nothing physical there Yeah, that's when I don't take your side though, generally. I took your side on this one. I said, he's a cop. You take my side if it gets physical. It's insane to jump on the other person's side just because it got physical seems crazy. Well, she does have to make it home safe.

She did. Hmm. And listen, if the guy took her and did something, there's a paper trail. You know, he would have been caught, Christine. You don't know who that... You don't know who that guy is, though. I mean, you know, literally he could be, You know, you would have been caught, Christine. You don't know. You wouldn't have been in vain. You don't know who that guy is, though. I mean, you know, literally he could be, you know, a old, you know, like a sleeper sell a

sasson. Now he was a black guy with a gray goatee wearing a fedora hat. I called him Cedric the Uber driver. Apparently you didn't see Denzel in the equalizer. I did not see that. He was an Uber driver and he fucking murdered a bunch of college guys for fucking around the chick. So I don't like to be this guy, but I'm from a different generation where the equalizer was a white man. I'm sorry, I'm saying that loud. He was a white man with white hair. He's Jesus. God, now it's a black woman with fake hair. He's a fucking equalizer. It's queen with teeth. Oh my God. She can't run, she can't run down the block. There should be a cutoff

She should have got changed at some point. I'm not calling a 60-year-old lady Queen Latifa What are your days are over? I don't know. I'll call her nothing I'll go to the artist formally notice Queen Latifa. Call her. You call her the equalizer. More names probably Latifa Every time Latifa every equalizer should end when the guy jumps offense and she just stops Yeah, she goes, huh? That's all for me. That's it now with this foot on about to lose. I got gout. I ain't making no offense I'm gonna get my hair hell no hell no, this is a new wig. This is horse hair. This is Indian hair I would jump that fence but it's got my nails did shit. You're just got my nails did I you know fuck that guy. That was a shitty uber drug. I don't know Jay

I gotta say he's going to affect my waiting it is and I have a I have a one of my five nine my five nine 92 five nine two no no you're a four nine two four nine two because I Mm-hmm I can compromise compromise what you've done there I would have waited to a red light and I would have Gently jumped out and not said anything I would have gently jumped out and I would have I love you say how do the kids to Christine just to let them feel bad a little bit and I would have jumped out and then I would have knocked on the window and wave Bidol like that

I did I did Know you wouldn't know I would have first of all I don't like the you you act like a baller if you're a baller Throw a hundred out of them go cut. I know that's the that's the move because he has to take it I'm gonna tell you something my plan was for a 20. Okay. I only had fives and ones in my with my wallet. Yeah. Actually was really funny was you know what I'm leaving out. I whipped it at him first and it fell in the back seat where I already was and I reached back in and pick it up and then re-throw it at him. You had to throw twice. Twice. Two throws. I don't know we should have got out of the car with you guys at that point. No, you weren't home yet in your back. Did you throw

it like your dad throws a football? No, thank God. No, I said I gave him a frisbee toss. It was folded here, piece of shit. That'd be great if he threw it back at you. Yeah, I don't need this. I got one. Leave it on the ground and I don't care.

Well, Steve Burn, I love Steve Burn. We were at the cell, we were at the cellar one, but we were at the cellar one night, late night. Me, SD Godfrey, Steve Burn, there was a table of hot girls at the end and Steve walks up and he's like, ladies. And the girl looks up, I know who you are, fuck off, I don't like you. Jesus. Just the cake. Wow.

I know you are a fuck off, I don't like you. In front of us, me, Godfrey and Ezzy are cracking the fuck off. I mean, what the fuck was that? Get the fuck away from me. Then he goes over and takes the 20 and he sticks it in a drink. Fuck you, right? And she takes it. Doesn't look at him.

Rolls it up and throws the wet 20 in his face. She goes, I said, fuck off. She's winning every part of this battle. And it's the worst when you're just getting housed and don't even realize it terrible I'm trying to think of the most I've ever been like someone just mean he me live my my school When the girl who I liked in Early high school We started we agreed that we were gonna be dating at a Halloween party. That's when I gave her my sunglasses

She took my sunglasses. That was a sign that we're together now. And over the weekend, all of our friends were like, no, no, he's like the fat kid and you can't. You couldn't give me your letterman jacket. She's s-s-s-s. I have sunglasses in a pack of smokes. By the way, I know we mentioned earlier this week at that what I went dressed at the Halloween party as a karate guy Also wearing my G for George Community Center. You got some you guys some work out of that G man That G was I probably wore the G out of karate class more than I went to karate class When I saw that the wood the practice the wood breaking thing was already like graded wood Like I saw that they were letting us break wood

that we couldn't go out in the streets and like chop a tree in the air. I was like, oh, it's all bullshit. This isn't walnut. Yeah. Yeah, this is just a wood that's made to be broken by Jewish kicks. It's actually Jewish wood.

It's made in Israel. It's easy to break,, it was the Dead Sea. It's all salted. Oh my God, Jewish Community Center. I thought it was such a funny concept. My first one doing comedy and then didn't realize that we've all merrily accepted Tiger Shulman as like karate. People in MMA started a Tiger Shulman. Shulman as like karate people in MMA. Yep.

Started a tiger shulman. Shulbs. Yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah. And then they got their the shit kicked out of him by a wrestler. I'm in through him on his head. And he was like, Oh, you're not supposed to grab. We're doing karate.

I have to do my kata before you hit me. Hey, hang on. I'm throwing you going too quick. No headbutts. That my money maker. I'm hanging. Let me put my wallet down. Hang on, you're going too quick. No headbutts. That's my money maker. Hangi, let me put my wallet down. Hang on, was it? You're gonna get a front kick to the bread basket.

Let me keep it up. You're gonna rip my star a day, but if you keep put me in a headlock. I remember I was at the junior high dances. Yeah, I went to every dance I could alone. I used to go to junior high dances, but I went when I was too young. Like it was the seventh grade dance, I was in sixth grade.

Oh wow. So you had the priest at the door, and I remember as you're going in, he would kinda look at you and let you in, almost like judge you. Look at that, right? Like studio 54? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was only the sexy boys in right now.

Oh, little Bobby. Look at you on your little suit. Oh, you can go. You can go, hey, your buck tooth redhead. You can't go. You're freckle-faced shit dog. You're fucking up the ratio. You got a dead tooth.

Beat it. I'm not letting you stick my dick in that mouth. It's dangerous. Sorry. Sun, your hands are rough. Your hands are rough. Like a, like a walka. I don't like it.

So I'm gonna put it that little Jewish boy, Jay to get in here. I'm looking for the illusion of youth. But he was in there and I was going up and I was in the sixth grade. But I'm an Irish Catholic. He had my grandmother church all the shit. So I walked up and he looked at me and he said, what grade are you in son? And I went sixth. Anyway, you came in.

And he sent you. All the kids were like stupid. And he sent me off. But then I snuck back in. Because I am a degenerate. Were you with a girl? I was going in with, no, it's going by myself. Okay.

I was going to my seventh grade dance at St. Joseph's in Medford. But I snuck back in the back door and I smoked. I had smoked cigarettes. So I went in and Carol Coughlin, smoking hot chick. I mean gorgeous blonde hay here, like real hay blonde. Oh my god, I liked her so much. And I went over to where she was and I had my cigarette in my hand And she walked over she goes, Hey, you got one of those for me. Oh, you want to know what I did?

I I took one out and then I did the wave Shut up Shut up I did the wave and I I did the wave and I I did the arm worm and I stuck it out in our face and Let me tell you something the face of I can smell shit, but I don't know where it is All her and her friends like thanks and she just took it and walked away and I was just sitting there with my hand out Frozen waves

You should have done the transformer noise. We can't do it. I was so humiliated. She walked away. She walked away. I actually would rather not smoke. Yeah, then right after that the presky mover I told you to leave boy. You're not cool enough for me. I kicked out the guy. The presky mover goes I think I'm supposed to be here. You're double kicked out going alone. I was on the steps sad. Just a six grade or sad. I went. That's how Greece was made. That's that's how the Greece story was made.

By the way, that's my life. By the way, side note here, DJ Lou, I don't know if you know this. Hulu, I think at a Hulu original movie. No, not who Paramount perhaps. One of them is doing a movie called Grease, The Rise of the Pink Ladies. They're doing a new musical. Sounds hot. No, you'll watch it. I guess we have to. Yeah, you have to watch it now. It's a thing. Is it out already? I don't think so, but it's coming out. Yeah, made right now. No, no, it's made. Oh, the trailer's out. Yeah, the bring it up, Christine. Rise of the Pink Ladies. Fucking Selena Gomez of some bullshit. It is not gonna be a cast, you're gonna be psyched

like that, but it's happening. Yeah, Taylor Shardt and the guy who created a Yellowstone has actually created this. It's just joking. It's authentic version of what it was. I think Vince Gilliam wrote it, Vince Gilliam, the guy wrote Breaking Bad. So it's gonna be a darker take.

Yeah, it's gonna be a darker take. It's gonna be some method, some abortions. Oh, there's an Asian girl. Ooh, really? Yeah, did you guys hear the new Asian girl brought Wuhan flu? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What's up with that?

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You're stupid too. Well, you went away for summer and you came back with a pandemic. Keep talking, whoa, keep talking. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Summer and you came back with a pandemic keep talking whoa keep talking I won't keep talking roll My ninth grade I was told I couldn't go to a day. I was punished for something And I was like now I'm going. This is gonna be the dance. I believe Janessa Faragalli also was going alone

How she doing? We are big dance. She's doing good. Tell her I said hi. Tell her, say hi. Hey, Melissa. Just fair guy was my high school crush big time. And I went to that dance. My mom, I didn't like, I couldn't like walk out of it. My mom was home when I left for the dance. And she was like, you're punished, you're not going.

And I was like, I am going. I mean, I think she's a- You throw a five bucks at her. She's going to be our big dance. She I mean a state she drove five bucks at her Didn't make it you had to pick it back up. Sorry mama didn't really hit the way I wanted to hit The road that's him yelling at a pedometer Um me because you're a hunt a little time They were arguing over who's lesser more racist So they I my told my mom I was going I like demand it was weird because I

Was like not afraid of my mom's the wrong word, but like I listened to her ultimately Like I wasn't just like I could do whatever I want fuck her. I wasn't like that. It wasn't a fuck you I was just like I'm going and she was like you go you walk out that door and go to this you're gonna be in more trouble Like you're gonna be punished for long or now is like She doesn't even understand that's fair. Kelly's also going alone. This is probably the moment we're gonna have So I'm going and I put on a Black jeans, mm-hmm that were faded a Untucked white button down shirt, not flattering.

No. Went there to the dance, got my dance with Janessa, she purposefully, I know it was purposefully. I wish we could get her on the phone, I would ask her. She purposefully did a more complex motion of dancing. It wasn't that I couldn't follow it, it wasn't expecting it. And I was even more lower confidence back in those days than I am now. So the dance... Why was she leading? Huh? Why was she leading?

Because she's still... She's a dance teacher now. It's just what she did. Was it a slow dance? Yes. But she wasn't just doing side, side, side. She was doing side, side, side, one, two, three, side. No, it wasn't even even that it was just simple like one two one one one two one But I was so in I'm trying to just look at her face and have this moment with her where we connect She's got one arm on my shoulder the other one's talking the friends over my shoulder and I've been staring mortar cheek Just dead in her face That was over uneventful for her. Me, I still remember what song was playing.

What's up? Pretty brown eyes, mint condition. Go ahead, Lou, pop it on. Mint condition, one hit wonders. Oh, this hurts, man. This is burned. That all gets worse, buddy. And the picture exists, we have it somewhere.

I, it's in my phone. I could probably find it for the next break but uh... shit eyes oh oh prittin brown eyes

but you know i'm being i don't know the song but you want to look in someone's eyes for this song. Yeah, this just takes you there. Oh the chorus. It did not take her there. No. I still this song doesn't come on once. Why don't go?

That was my moment with you. That's fair. Golly did not go great. You still talked her? Uh, yeah. I'm a little touched. Yeah. You talked her now.

Yeah, well because it came up from the show. I wanted to help him. He did a beefen beer for her, like not that long ago. Is that a sexual thing? No, it sounds like it should be. I'm beefen beer. She goes, will you do a comedy? I need to do comedy.

This was like, I wasn't where I'm at now, but I was like working. Yeah. It's like five years. Yeah, it's not that long ago, maybe a little more than five, but like not much more. And uh, she goes, would you do this for me? And I was like, yeah, sure, because it's a real, it's a charity thing for the, my dance school, blah, blah, blah. Some of these people from high school were even coming.

And I was like, yeah, I'll come ahead line your thing. And I was like, this is going to be, you your thing and I was like, this is gonna be. You should have said this, I'll do it, but, and then cut to like Rocky, Rocky, Rocky three at the end. So you and her on the dance hall, you flick the lights on, lose over one thing, and he starts playing this, and you had it. And she goes, I didn't hear no bell, I don't know.

Ding, ding. You get to, we missed the chorus. You turn down right for the chorus. Go back to that chorus. I'm gonna bite my lip on this comes on. Okay. Break in my heart. Just you and her dancing, lights dim,

little disco ball spin. Christine's smoking a cigarette outside, pissed, hurry up, asshole. Let's go. Hurry up, you dumb ass. My back's hurting I threw my back out I threw my back out. I'm your elderly girlfriend. Let's go Danny Tario Why don't you go back and get the dance Jay go back and get it now. So here's what happened at the beef and beer

Look at your first I went and did the I go yeah, I'll do it. She goes, I can put you on the fire and everything. I'm like, sure, go ahead. She throws the beef and beer. I go there, we get there. She's like, oh, hey, okay, so yeah, you're gonna go on it. Like, you're gonna close that. We have other comics going on and stuff too,

and they're gonna do this thing. Other comics go on, it's not going well. It's not a very good show. It's in like a ballroom, right? People are half paying attention or whatever. And then I'm like, I'm going up next. I'm like, half hour or something. All right, I go up in this little,

like, you know, ballroom of a hotel kind of thing. Seems like right. And I went in order to look at a little space. Function room. Function room. Function room. I got you. And P-R. Yeah. I go on and I do a set. I get them. I write. It was a good set. It wasn't bad. Like the crowd. I had the crowd interested. They were all listening by the end. People were coming in and sitting down. And I was like, I'm looking real good here. To Geneseo Farageli. Got off stage. To thanks like, hey, hey thanks and I'm like yeah for sure and then we hung for a few

You're like all right if you get out of here drive back to New York and as we're leaving She hands me an envelope. She goes oh here. It's like 300 bucks or whatever she told me she would give me Which I knew from the get go she was giving me 300 bucks and my thing the whole time was I was gonna go I don't know I just put it back like into the don't know, I just put it back into the, you know, for the charity thing. In the mix. Just put it back in the thing that you're for the money making.

Sure. She goes, you already wrote the check though, and I went, no, I know, but it's like, rip it up, and just put it back in the thing and she goes, all right. Oh my god. I was like, and then we left.

She wasn't very nice. Oh, I'm getting the shit about Jay. That's because, that's life, TGJ, a big lesson. She was a cut back then and people don't change She just know. Yeah, she did not change not a cut. She just wasn't interested ever at any given point Not even I brought Rob Mayu with me Me and that again and Rob Mayu laughing in the back seat of the car. He goes she still doesn't give a shit You came in headline you brought you the heat, the show is like some people were there were like,

yo you got this guy here because they did know I was. Right. And they're like, no fucking way. And you went to high school with him and then she was like, yeah, so what? So funny. I'll pour Jay. But uh, that dance.

You want a dance of this? I don't not want to. Ah, maybe we'll dance to the break. I'll give it the dance you want. Oh, yes. How's that? Yeah. I'll stand on my tippy toes and ends.

Step on my feet. I'll be once. Um, but that dance. Yeah. We had our dance. She goes our other way. Then it comes time. It's a Valentine's day dance, what it is.

I remember to the backdrop of the pictures. Now it's picture time. There's pictures. You don't have to get a picture. But I'm like, damn, I should get a picture, but I'm gonna make it take a picture by myself. And this guy, Mike Luchiani, who by the way became like a big burly,

muscled biker guy. Is he doing good? How's he doing? Good? Tell him I said hi. I thought he said hi. Please, Mike and Luchee. Mike and Luchee, yeah, Luchee.

How fun of you if I knew all these people? I really did. It would be great. Luchy called you up, dude, tell Bobby I said hi. Hey, Bobby say hi, tell my Z. Hi. Uh, uh, Michael, Cheney was dating Deanna Brady, who this is all good context for you, Bobby, uh, to give

you, because these are things that some people know, some people forget, but uh, Deanna Brady was his girlfriend. And Deanna Brady is the girl who I plagiarized the song Amanda by Boston and wrote, I wrote that song out like it was a letter I wrote for her. Yeah. So before that I believe, maybe after. Whatever it was, he, Michael Giani was so non-threatened by me.

I don't know if upon his suggestion or mine, it was like just take a picture with Diana. So I have a Valentine's Day dance picture That I took me like the whole thing holding the waist and everything of me and another guy's girlfriend whoo And I would I'll say what when you got it back it was laminated and I did the good thing about having a father living somewhere far away Is every picture you've ever taken with a girl? It can be a girl you fucked or are dating to someone who you don't know in Ohio. Plus, plus you wouldn't hit you. What are you doing? You asked me all the time. Yeah, it's all my dad. He goes, hey, Dad, so this is a girl I got right now.

He's like, very proud of your son. I was worried you were going to be some fucking cleaf who would take a picture with other guys' girlfriend and go to a dance by himself To stare at a girl's cheek while she doesn't give a shit dancing with you Yeah, well get that out of your head dad because it certainly wasn't that If that's what you think it was know that it was not I can get you an SNL. Do you have this photo show? Uh, yes for sure. Oh this photo. Yeah, it's in my pictures If nothing else we'll get it up on this one here. this I get can I make a t-shirt out of it? You should make a t-shirt out of it dude It's a it would be a great t-shirt me and the anabraiti Well get to that chorus dude. I love dances. I love the song every every every I of course because I didn't even have the

I couldn't get a girl so I never went to a dance. I knew people would people didn't I Was I'm not saying you are Jacob, but I wasn't like I was a loser I'm sure but I wasn't a loser in the sense of No one liked having me around I was funny So like they didn't mind having me around just none of the girls gave a shit. I was like I Think it's where I was a guy gets suckered like all the girls went out to get money for babysitting, so I'd have a couple of hours. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Katie hey wanna come over where you come babysit with me No, my siblings either babysit all the time and we was a can we throw a bonfire dance? I went can we throw a dance like that we just invite people and we just have a dance we'll dress up

Bobby, you're gonna want to make this a share I hope somebody can clean the picture up though. It's such an old picture. I'm gonna get you a dance Jacob I went on one and eighth grade and that was the last one. You went dance. You danced? I went to the dance and then I asked one girl, I was because it was a dare, the two dudes, dare you to go and ask her to dance. Right. I did it.

She said yes. And then as soon as I touched her shoulders, I got an immediate heart on. You did? Jesus Christ. It's an easy bone right there. Yeah, it was quick because I'd never felt like, you know, flesh. Beautiful, beautiful girl. Beautiful girl skin before.

You never felt the shoulders that weren't hairy. I mean, when you're wonderful to have practice dancing with you. It was so, she was so hot to me. Yeah. And it showed, but I had to like, hunch dance. But there's the thing. I had to do the whole song. I was trapped on the floor. I wanted to like, because I feel like everyone I think all the

teachers must have been hysterically laughing and then the song they were like do the worm I was like and then I kind of hunch walked off the dance floor I ran to the bathroom some Janet have found a pair of dirty underwear Jacob again you have scissors so I can cut these off without taking my pants fully off. My one school dance was not a good. I had to get the dance, I guess, and she was cool about that.

I was saying, the point I was making for was saying was that I remembered now. I wouldn't go there and not have people to talk to and stuff. People would bullshit with me and everything. And the girls wanted to hang out when I had a couple bucks in my pocket, like 20 bucks or whatever, 40 bucks. How you gonna get extra babysitting money

if Jay's not around? I can't make Thursday. But I remember feeling like a snook, a few times though, I would get caught in different ways. When I first started driving, cramming, I mean girls laying across each other's laps in the back seat because they all want to ride home And I was like I'll take every girl home and then I did the let's go out to eat afterwards with it

It was me and the girl and the girls were all afterwards like we don't have any money though So I paid for all of it right a Ryan Reynolds and best friend was that movie? Just friends just friends yeah, one of the funniest movies ever by the way it's a good movie I actually like that that That was a funny movie. But he, yeah, so I would do that a lot. I was like the sucker like, dude, for a while. I did that too, even when I, because I was, you know, in seventh and eighth grade,

I was drinking and using drugs and hanging on the streets. But so I didn't have time for dances at that age. Sixth grade, plenty of time. Opened up. Opened up. But, you know, the older kids I hang out with would, they would mean to their girls and I would always walk them home when they would get, when they would get spit on. To the girl, I took, there's another good bonafire context too for you, right?

This girl, when I was, uh, when I started to, I'm going to start comedy, I guess, before I started comedy in high school, She was a little younger than me but she She did She's beautiful. It's called Desiree and she like I thought she was unbelievable hot and when she turned 18 She goes I want to do Naked pictures. I want to do playboy. I want to do plus if I can go to playboy So will you take the pictures for me? This is how not it was she was I promise you I didn't misread a signal. She wasn't trying to get naked in front of me

So you'd have a moment. Sure. She was like you literally I don't want to fuck you at all. So we picked this very Yeah, just like straight up. So I went over and she told me to bring her pictures and Bring pictures to show her What she should pose like from Playboy. And I did, instead of bringing the magazines, I cut pictures out of not Playboy magazine of like spread gash weekly and all that kind of stuff. Well, no clothes. Just gash. Yeah, yeah, no, just naked, like spreading pussy and asshole.

So she took her pictures like that. And then I had them, I had them, I had duplicates made in a separate package. So she wouldn't know there was duplicates made so I could just have a set of them. And then, and then, and then, wow, dude. And then one time, I was getting my, I was, this is like the beginnings of a cereal I mean this is a serial killer shit, man. It was a lot Do you still have please tell me through the box? Oh Yeah, I threw these out actually after knowing you guys actually I Think I tried the column would never remember this but I drove calling home one time early Coming to New York. I think it was a Keith was like Jay. I gave me a ride home, whatever. So I gave him a ride. I was like,

sure, I'll take Colin Quinn on a drive. And I didn't know how to like connect with him. So I think I even told him to go on my glove compartment box and look at them and look at these pictures. And I remember him being like, okay, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's pretty cool now. But that I was also driving. I was delivering, how old was she? 18. Okay, good. Yeah, I was 20, maybe 22, 20 or 21 maybe, but she, so I was working a day job at one point driving auto parts, delivering auto parts, and the dealership, they told me like,

if you need worked on your car ever, like, because you work here, like, the hook you up, you can get your brakes changed for 50 bucks. And I needed brakes. So I go, I'll take that, I go over to this guy and we're just bullshitting what he's doing, the brakes. And we get talking and he hangs out this like local bar.

And I was like, oh yeah, I was like, my friend works at that bar, Desiree. And he was like, oh, dude, friend works at that bar. Desiree. And he was like, oh, dude, I love that chick. She is the hottest girl ever. And I was like, yeah, how much would you do these breaks for if I show you some bigger pictures of her? And he was like, free.

So I show them to him, just show them to him. I go, if you go to that bar, you don't say anything. Yeah, trust that guy. Like that guy's, yeah, no, that guy's gonna clam up. Yeah, sure, a guy who says he goes seven days a week to a bar. Yeah, that loves that girl. No, it doesn't even know you.

In his defense, Bobby, he didn't tell her. Really? He told every other girl who worked there. He didn't know my name. He just described probably, I'm sure it wasn't nice. I'm sure it was like, it's a fat guy who had pictures of you. Yeah, he had mittens with no fingers.

And then she called me upset. I just denied, denied, denied. Then our boyfriend called and said he was coming to fight me. Oh boy. And then he didn't. But while I wasn't not worried about that, she always did it like pretty dudes. So it was never like, it wasn't a fear of like that.

My fear in the fight at all was just that I'm like, he's right. he's way angry than I am, and I'm fighting for the side of wrong. I'm fighting to defend the lie. So I was worried about that, and he never came over and to just cut them up and flushed them down the toilet. And then now that's great. But I'll tell you what, two, three years beyond that day,

there wasn't a day that went by that I was just like, damn, I wish I had those deserate pictures. There was no reason to throw those out. There was no reason to throw them out. They didn't go anywhere. But that girl was, yeah, I'm saying, I've fallen to that a lot though. Like the girls were just like, yeah,

you're my great friend my buddies Little Jay his girlfriend we were in high school had a hell of a body she would get changed in front of me and shit It was very weird you're very not Nobody was afraid of you. Nobody had sexual vibe off me at all Christ there I used to I used to go I went to art school after high school. I was gonna be an art teacher. That's a fucking pain, that's a palace. Well, I took a, I made a studio,

I lived with a foster father in some Jewish dude. I heamed the basement, I made a studio, like a little art studio with a couch and it had an easel. And a beret. But my game was, I would draw a girl. Just before comedy, right? Before Titanic? When you would introduce yourself, you know, hey, what do you do?

I'm a college, I'm an artist, I'm an art student. That's almost as good as stand-up comedian. Did you ever get a girl in a post nude? Dude, I had my whole face. My whole face was a charcoal drawing. I had a book, like a big white drawing pad and my charcoal. And I would talk to a girl and I think,

you know what, I'd pause and I was going, you know what, what? I'd love to draw you. I love to draw you. I love to draw you. Every time worked. Every time. Dude.

Very streets of undress. I have, I wish I had this. It might be my mom's attic. It might be a my- Sketchpad? I have a sketchpad and it always starts out with a grone of couch with a top. Okay. Fully clothed. And then it goes to a little aerial hanging out. Okay. And then there's tits. Me sketch, I sketch a couple tits. You got to draw three pictures just to get full titty in front of you. I got three pictures. And but no, they're like 30 seconds.

I tell them. Let's see, the first one's in this, he goes, okay, here's you and a shirt. He goes, maybe lose shirt, but he goes, okay, here's you with like a little area all hanging out. She goes, he goes, I actually, I do much better if you're fully nude. All of a sudden when she's nude,

he's like, okay, I have to, I have to see if I can capture the energy of your body. No, that's what I would go over and adjust the breast Well, let me just move this because this is not in the sun exactly the way I want and then if you don't mind Those the nipples are a little different size. Let me just get a little Okay, now they're the same. Yeah, give a see a movie when the streets are wet. That's so the lights can I'm gonna suck a you nipple a little bit because I want the light to it I'm a little shadow on that nip and she was like she was excuse me go I mean you can suck your own nip if you want but I just didn't know oh yeah that's why I figured I have a sponge they should read but I figured I would just suck on it just because saliva is a little

different the whole book was three pictures and then head I would just get blow jobs. It was the best. That's a great move. I'm gonna draw you. It was a great move. Damn. I got a whole... Hey Louisville Kentucky, anybody want to get drawn

this week? Yes. We should bring a... We should bring a drawn tops on, then ariola, then tits. All you need is a pencil and a pad. That's all you need. All mine say like a Mario. From the top it's just the... I forgot my sketch pad. I'll, I'm titty. No, I'm gonna draw it later. Sick ass pussy. Sick ass pussy.

But could you imagine though, if I mean, if I became an artist right now, how cool would that be? That'd be great. A lot of indoor scarf and for sure. You're never not wearing a scarf. I always have a scarf. Yeah, because I'll keep my neck warmer. Where else my energy gets low. I'd have some brief like a leather briefcase over my shoulder You were hatched most people don't wear just gonna very unique hats. Yeah, what is that? Is that an old Sherlock Holmes hat? Yeah, yeah, I got from a thrift store Yeah, in London from Guy Richie my friend. They're smoking a pipe. Yeah, are you familiar with the works of Guy Richie? I sketch all his movies Good Lord. I put that note in my phone for what you're...

I've tried to remember what it was that got me on that thought, your jealousy of the other agenda, which is a good color topic too. Like, what do you wish you could... There's the obvious, of course. You wish you could feel what getting... my dick in your pussy feels like. Sure, I'm blowing a guy without being gay.

Blowing a guy without being gay. Blowing a guy without being gay. And finally showing your skills on it. Yes. Because if I was forced to blow a guy, that guy is not getting a good blow job. But if you were like snap a finger and all of a sudden you love sucking cock, I believe out of the gates, I'm phenomenal at it.

I'd be better than any girl I know. Oh, and Christine's pretty good. I'd probably use similar Christine style, but minor tweaks to make it my own. More eye contact. Less complaining about it. My wife's like a machine. Yeah, I'd be more accepting of fingers up my ass

while it's happening than Christine is. God, she's a complainer. My wife has to hum just to keep herself in the kitchen. Ha, ha, ha. All the years of marriage and being with Dawn, do you even try putting your finger near but only more is it just a waste of time? It's just not even a waste of time.

No, no, no, no. I mean, look, sex now is more, believe it or not, man. I kind of like, I like romantic, you know what I mean? Like I like when we both take a shower Mm-hmm, and we'll go in the bed and she'll get in a row. There's a robe she has that from I mean when I met her It doesn't really fit her anymore because she don't she had a kid, but it's meant to be worn open It's yes, it's like the sexy robe she has. And then she does her hair, like her hair's down, because your hair's always up in the ponytail.

And then the kid's not around, and we'll go in the bed, and we'll lie there a little bit. And you know, we'll look at each other for a minute, and then I'll grab her and we'll kiss, little soft kiss, another soft kiss. Then we go deep on the tongue, you know. I mean, you're the saffron. Once.

Once a year. Yeah, one time a year. I think you're going to say once something. I know. What, what, what, what? Usually in the spring, I want it's not too hot or cold. Yeah, the temperature is absolutely perfect. Yeah.

Yeah. That's been, yeah, romantic, yeah, sure. Yeah, the temperature is absolutely perfect. Yeah. Yeah. That's been romantic, yeah, sure. Yeah, dude, and it's like, but it's still, I try not to do the, you know, mechanical thing, because it gets, you know, you know, gravitating, gravitating, is touch a thing, suck a thing, lick a thing, fuck a thing, we're done.

It's very difficult, I find, when you know what works for the other person, you end up just doing those things, I feel like too much. Like the same thing. Well, when we did it the last time, I had taken advice from some fans. Like I put it out there, I do that, you know,

I did this thing, I was like, I'm gonna have sex with my wife, I wanna have her good night, so I went to the store, buy my house up, like going on to the highway, when you go on to 287, to the right, there's this romantic depot, right before... Romantic depot. Romantic depot.

That's what's called, and it's right before a kids park, which is weird. That is weird. It's weird, but then I was like, you know what? You're kind of catching the creeps before. They're probably like, I'm gonna go fuck a kid and then they see this. Maybe I'll go in here for a sec. It's also not a bad idea to be like,

you could also be like, hey kids, like, play here for a few. I'll be right back. Sure. And then you run off and you come back with your dildos and the trunk. Yeah, I went in and bought a bunch of stuff. Dildos? Well, not dildos.

I don't want to use a dildo on my wife. That's kind of, I think that's a girls thing. I bought, you know, little, little, zzzz. I know what my wife likes. She doesn't like a brrrrrrr. She likes a zzzz. When me and Christine went a dildo shopping once, the lady in the store said that the biggest size dildos there

are 100% of the time picked out by the men. Yeah. I know. Not gay men. Yeah. It's, you know, it's like, well, I mean, if I'm going to see Christine use a toy, I want it to like, you know, open her up like a fucking like cracker open like a goddamn walnut. Yeah. Isn't that the tree's whole thing was glass dildos? Could he have a fuck? No, he No, he had actually like, like, antique glass dildos from the 1800s. I think Doc Holliday's wife used them and he's fucking things like, he had a, I told you this story. It's funny was he goes, well they're great

because they're not porous, so they're super clean. I go, it is porous. Yeah. Glass is porous in fact. Yeah, his mom said, you know, I'm friends with his mom, she's the best. As funny as him, right? Yeah. And we were talking about As funny as him. Yeah.

And we were talking about all the stuff when he died. I go, what happened to all the, his stuff? And he was like, Bobby? Oh yeah. Bobby, I tell you, I told her, talk about Vaughan, she can have anything she wants. Just come over. It's all in this garage you have whatever you want.

And she, all she wanted was that box of dildos. That's all she took. She was like, I guess still smells hands on it. But I get, you know, little tiny, little, that's all, you know. When a girl breaks up with a guy, do you think she would stop using the sex toys he bought

or is there no attachment to that anymore? You wonder, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I wonder. I don't think Christine had, do you have sex toys before I met you at all? None, not a one. I mean, she would have. Now she's got a John Wick closet. She has no shoes. She says, Dildos. It's so much weird shit from SDR. So like, we had a thing that's like a strap that a guy puts around his ears that's like a penis. So when he's going down on a girl, he has a little chin penis. And it's like, we're not going to fucking use that thing.

Christine hates chindix. It's not the hard way. I bought because I saw in the video, in the video of like the girls using the pumps, like the the vagina pumps the pump them up I bought that for Christine and it doesn't even work Chimding is hilarious. That's like the the kid catcher from cheaty cheaty bang bang Stuck hilarious it's sad That's hilarious. I had no toys before.

These are dating. It's not hilarious, it's sad. Yeah, Dawn has a drawful of things that she doesn't use. She doesn't use. But I bought her all new stuff. I bought her the rose. You have here the rose? Yeah.

I bought her that. That was kind of stupid. The rose, big waves with people, because it's like a, it's just a clit sucker. It doesn't though. It makes a terrible noise. It's just, it's a weird, it's, it's disgusting. Oh, it sounds like a demon coming.

Hey, do you guys think you guys feel like Kelly's thinking about me right now? Yeah. Oh, you want to see this picture, Bobby? There you go. There's me in Deanna Brady. There's me. Jesus Christ.

Someone else's chick. Someone else's chick. You could see. It was even very simple when you were young. Huh? She said, simple. You're simple. Is the right word?

I mean, why is one of your eyes? I'm not just agreeing with you, I uh. Why is your eye fucked up? Why is your eye fucked up? Why? No, because they took one picture, I guess, and my eyes were closed during it. My hair is styleless completely.

It's just combed over to the side. You have Lego hair. It really is Lego hair. You do. It doesn't break at any point. Always had that little hairline though, Jacob. Am I right? You're noticing that.

Great hair. Always had that little hairline. Look at your whole new album. You're afraid to touch a woman. They made me stand like that. And this girl, what she must think of me She goes I guess I'll take a picture with you. You fat shit But she's laughing like this is fucking hilarious and you're like I hate my life her brother was kind of like a Conti like he was little guy, but he was like a mouthy like bull-ish kid, you know, I mean and like

It was just like that was like I'm sure that was laughed about behind my back so much. What a jerk off. Look at me. And I really, I was like, Mom, I'm going. Now, where's my, where's my white button down shirt that shows all of my fat? Mom, where's my jeans with not one crease in them at all? Mom, where's my most non-descript jeans possible? Mom, I'm wearing your jeans tonight. I wonder, you can't go down far enough. Is there a bottom of that picture? Do you see my feet?

Because I wonder if I'm wearing dress shoes. Why, why are you standing above a cake? What is the thing behind you, dude? A giant cake. No, I brought that. You brought the cake. They may put that behind me. They wouldn't let me take the picture with it.

That's where you ate on the stairs out front after that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I go, hey, Deanna, should I grab two forks for this cake? That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front.

That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front.

That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. That's what you ate on the stairs out front. K go plus one right here strawberry short Damn, I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize Deanna Damn Did you did you ever have a date to date like your own date to a dance? so then there was

In when I moved the Jersey my junior year the junior dance was happening not far after i move i moved like middle year towards the end of the year even which was tough and all my friends were still back at that school so they were like all we got to have j like j's got to come to the dance and i was like i got i don't but i can't just go i don't go to school there anymore

they want to let me go and they go go with court Schwartzberg. And Courtney Schwartzberg was a girl. He sounds sexy. Buddy, Courtney Schwartzberg was the most, I wouldn't have thought twice about Courtney Schwartzberg ever. She was like the girl who wouldn't let you copy your homework. Yep.

She wore same color shirt and pants, sweatpants, like sets with like a, a turtle that coming underneath, just a very ponytail everyday, very long hair, but just a ponytail everyday. Not ugly or anything, just like- And broided flowers on her sweatshirts. Yes, yes, yes. She looked like her mom was a cat lady and it was her total stylist. She smelled like cloves.

So it just never thought much about like Courtney as far as like that goes. She was like sweet. I never problem with her. Like go Courtney Schwartzburg. You can go and I was like, oh good because Courtney should I know, right? What the fuck? Courtney Schwartzburg's. What the fuck?

I'm sorry, Jay. It's big day. What the fuck? I enjoy it. I've been here for a week and a two weeks. You know, while we're at it. Two weeks and I just, I mean, there's drink holders. You guys are wet, you will hold not on me for this.

You saw I just decided to use it now too. Wow. It's a new era of bonfire. A couple of other people now. This is amazing. This is nuts. So Courtney Schwartzberg, they go, Courtney, I was lucky that it was Courtney Schwartzberg

because I thought they were gonna offer, I thought they were gonna say, I should they were gonna say I should go to the dance with Rhonda Courtney's friend. Rhonda is the girl, Rhonda was girl me. She was sort of in the mix, but unfortunate looking. Sure. And I was like, oh, it's not Rhonda, it's Cor, yeah. Yeah, I'll go, Courtney.

We all meet up at Courtney's house because a bunch of us were sharing a limo. She make you tuck your cross in Yeah, we get to her house and she comes downstairs like a movie and I was like holy shit Courtney looks good body great The dress her hair was like done now and makeup. I'm like fuck yeah, Courtney Schwartzberg. We go to the dance on makeup. I'm like, fuck yeah, Courtney Schwartzberg. We go to the dance, again, it's a lot of friends hanging out

so they didn't feel very romantic, necessarily, but we danced, we blah, blah, blah, and then afterwards we went to a party, and I told Rhonda, this was the craziest thing. I don't know why my mind went to this. I was like, yeah, I haven't fucked getting my life here, by the way, at this point. And I go, yeah, I'm like fuck get in my life yet, by the way, at this point.

And I go, yeah, I'm like, Rhonda, you can tell Courtney, like, she was to hook up here, like, I'm cool to hook up. Like, almost like, I'll do her the favor. And then she said, I think she was like, she left. She was gone already. She had to go home at a certain time or something. It wasn't even like a fuck me, she left. She was just, she had to go.

She wasn't on that vibe at all. And I was almost like, I wasn't on that vibe that vibe but like let her know now I'm cool with that vibe and they were like she's going I'm like hmm okay well he ronda what are you up to after this he ronda have you seen my cake is my cake anyway well someone give me my cake if I can't come back in you can't come back in without a date well then what is a cake in there it's's mine. Bring it out. You got to go to the coach, I have my jacket and my cake. Yes, pass me my vest.

No, which cake? Which cake? That's that one. Yeah, yep, yeah, that one. Travel with cake. Did you go to the prom? Senior prom, I went to it to grow. I lost my virginity too.

So she like, yeah, we fucked that night that was good I took my girlfriend who was who graduated the year before yeah my girl was 22 my was 17 she was 22 I was a 20 louder 20 I can't believe they allowed her I'll see you picture that one too we rented we rented a Mercedes a Mercedes E class like the old lady Mercedes Mm-hmm. I wanted a luxury car instead of the limo and then we pulled up and there was somebody's limbo And I get limo and I gave him 20 just to drive us around the block and drop us off It just to look cool just to look cool. It was not a bad move. That's a fun. That's thinking at that age It's a great move and then we pulled out went to the we danced a little bit, and then we took the fuck off,

and we went in, we went in fucking, we went in banged in the Mercedes. Yeah, if you can get out there and bang. That's why I was talking to someone this weekend about a, okay, Joe, because like, when's the last time you saw the sun come up, I was like, oh man, I used to see you come up all the time when I would do the prom shows,

like the prom shows of Caroline's and stuff. They'd be over like five in the morning and they go, you do the prom shows, the prom shows of Caroline's and stuff, they'd be over like five in the morning and they go, you do those prom shows like, what are proms? I guess they don't happen much anymore. They don't do them anymore. But they were like, what are prom shows? I'm like, oh, it's crazy. It's the girls who don't want to fuck. This is the way they break that to their dates is by saying, hey, we're all going to a

comedy show after prom. So the guys come in either shitty attitudes or just checked out. They're like, this night's not going the way I hoped. And the girls want to talk to their friends and blah, blah, blah. It's pretty crazy. I'm missing this T2 Christine. This is my senior prom date. They're gonna last my virginity too.

I don't have any pictures from my childhood. This is making sad to have all these pictures. Do you have no pictures? I don't have any pictures from my childhood. This makes me sad to have all these pictures. Do you have no pictures? I don't have a picture of me and- I've got very few. Me and Kristen went to the prom. I took a camping for a week after. How, in a tent?

Is that bad? No. We went up to, I mean, literally almost Canada. I rented a campsite like in the middle of nowhere and I put a tent up and we went camping for seven days. Oh my God, that's too long, Bob. It was too long. Too many days.

It's too long. And the first that we got there, a torrential rain, and I put a tarp under the tent, so all the rain hit the top and went into the tent. So we would just wet, and we had to wake up at like five in the morning and go find a dry cleaner somewhere, but it was like a one washer, one dryer

in this, like their house. Like they were the laundry mat, but there was only two of them. And you had to go in there and like in somebody's house and dry our sheets and all the fucking blanket shit. And then the little kids, like cool-aid mouth were just staring at us.

Like, just sunken eye sockets, cause cousin of cousins been fucking for centuries in the house. Yeah, it wasn't romantic. My prom night was not romantic. We banged in the car, and then we went to eat, and then we went right up to the Hampshire. Yeah.

I pitched a tent in the dark. It was a nightmare. And then we camped for a week up there. We went to Ocean City, New Jersey. After the prom, me just me and her got a motel room. And that's when I said we went to 7-11 and she bought snack packs of tapioca pudding. Jesus Christ, Jake.

I mean, I don't understand. What? There's a cake behind me. No. Yeah, dude. I don't know. You're, dude. Well, your don't know. Yeah, dude. I don't know. Dude, your hair is fucking nuts.

Oh, well, you don't know that I was an old tummy piano player in the 90s. I mean, dude, you were in a boardwalk empire, elected for Alka Park. Oh, you guys didn't realize I was Barton Finkback when I was the on. Dude, your shoulders are fucking nuts, man. She was cute, though. Yeah, she's cute. Holly? She's cute. She was molested by a ronkel. That's. She was cute though. Yeah, she's cute. Holly, she's cute. She was molested by a ronkel, that's why she was fucking me.

Yeah, wow. Yeah, yeah. That's why she's got that twinkler I do. Her uncle was a 75 year old man who dressed like Dalger. Oh, it was a weird thing. That's a type. But he fucked her right into my sweet fat arms. But we went to a 7-Eleven, she bought snack packs

of tapioca pudding, Bobby. You know what those was like a little? Yeah. And she loved tapioca pudding and she wanted to... It was my third time fucking maybe. And she sucked my dick to a boner and then took a little snack pack and then just fucking Abe Lincoln had it my dick with that thing. And my dick was hot. It was... it's hot to the touch, I guess, because it's all boned up. It just starts melting it. So the pudding just turns into fluid and there's just those bubbles.

That's a taboos. In my dick hair. You're dick on dick hair. It looks like bubble tree with the big straw. It was so sticky. It was so sticky. Yeah. It was so goddamn sticky.

I hate food insects. It makes me sick. I don't get it. I me sick. I don't get it I hate it I don't want that nine and a half week scene did nothing for it made me try What a stupid movie what they put chocolate it looks like drizzlers. It looks like shit Yeah, looks like like someone pooped on your tits. You see Mickey Rark like new new yeah I look even worse than

Ten years ago. What now? Oh now he's if you see Mickey Rugg now and he's wearing a wig that looks like it just comes off We should take a break this fucking first hour is over are we done the first hours? Insanely done We're here live with you on a Thursday everybody. How fun is that? Enjoy it for the next two weeks everyone. It's the bonfire enjoy it for the next two weeks everyone it's the bonfire everybody thanks for listening that was just a portion of our actual serious xm radio show if you want the whole thing the whole damn thing

go to serious xm dot com slash bonfire for a special offer that's right and go to big j combie dot com and robber kelly live dot com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you for a special offer. That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo