The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Highway to the Danger Zone

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Jay plans a concert trip to Hershey Park, and the gang reviews the new Top Gun Maverick movie!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey everybody check Big J out on the Burke Crisers fully loaded festival it's going on the next couple weeks he's going to be in Oklahoma Albany, New York and other cities for all the tour dates and tickets to Big J comedy dot com. Dan so everybody coming to the UK London England buckle up the Soho Theatre from June 13th through June 18th get your tickets for that right now over at dancota.com go fill it up The bonfire merch also now available at the bonfire merch.com V bonfire merch.com Mm-hmm, and of course keep us thing here to the bonfire podcast. Yes all day. Oh all night right here on Dave TV And now the bonfire with big J. Ocarson and Dance Otter. I

What's my six-thand what's my six? Shit, is there smoke behind me? Go okay, they're small three three. I'm gonna throw it, okay? I'm gonna throw it! Here's a Zerpring going back. Dude, I love the thought of Jacob Blackloo and Christine doing a top gun walk to Danger Zone as the show is starting. Oh yeah, wearing one piece. Yeah, jumpers, flight suits. No, no, no, no, no. Those popular outfits? They are. Let's get some bonfire flights. Jumpers flight. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no're gonna die by head trauma. Well, you know, we know it's like

Tomorrow like we both happen to be off tomorrow. Yeah, right Why don't we do it live Thursdays? We I don't know, but now we got a full Thursday off. Yeah, well, you know, we got a full Thursday Oh, Jacob's not here. That's why you know, he's got shots down. I guess Hang on hang on Jacob my size not so good Is this the point fire? I was just letting you know now I'm fucking but of course shows never the same without you Yeah, I'm gonna say so you on top gun day How the hell I'm big J. O.K. So that's the answer. Well, this is the bonfire faction talk series XM 103 We got our DJ Lou. We got our Jacob a top

We have a Christie Marie Evans our black king the black tiger Lewis Me and DJ Lou just figured out Where you go see train on Sunday. Oh? What perfect that you know what someone just park up is so many what are going now? Could you know where it's at? P and C. Oh, not bad. There you go. We like trains.

Come on, dude. Do you love train? I say show up, dude. Probably gonna meet him. Can you go? If you go? No, no, no, no, no, no. But that's the train day.

No, that's what I'm saying. Train is built for a Sunday. All their music goes best on a Sunday. Oh my God, they are Sunday music to say at least. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna fight traffic and go Friday to a Jones Beach. Yeah, and you know Confircumstances six-third little bonfire context bonfire context of the show is it's train with jewel and blues traveler My boy Johnny pops we went through the

Hits Yeah, home you're real home But we went through the hits of train and they are certified. They got like, banger upon banger and then they'll come out and do a little fucking lead Zeppery or as what? I'll get the lead out. We're getting the lead out. But I'll tell you, uh, yeah, we're going to go on.

And then we, Christine acted today when I said it would like like she had the realization that yeah, maybe that would be better. Since every time I brought this up,'ve said flat is this it. Oh, this is them playing Ram belong into the rip Turn it up. I'll shut the fuck up for a second This is train covering oh Covering Zeppelin Ramble on oh, he just looks like a guy that works in finance. He's just some dude He's like what's up? I actually do futures He's got a voice of an angel working Merrill Lynch

We didn't get to them fucking robber plan. I mean already sounds like robber plan. I'm already ready to for him to fuck me with the barracuda What do they do? It was a much arch What they what they fucked a lady with or much shark? Who? Zeppelin. Zeppelin? Zeppelin? Zeppelin? Yeah Zeppelin. Yeah Zeppelin. Yeah Zeppelin. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh give it. That wrist doesn't help with that voice. No no no the guy couldn't be fruity or his performance. It's crazy That's how Robert plant stands really get a Rob playing has long hair. It's all sexy. He's not wrong. It is how Robert plants

We're flowing ruffles if you're gonna pull that sashay off though You gotta wear flowing ruffles if you're gonna pull that sashay off though The flowing. Yeah, he does yeah, he's dressed too much like a dude. Yeah, although he's pulling off the jeans too tight for your age Still, but whatever yeah, man if you can if you can play up in gene tightness That's the downing the mood if you're an older rock star It seems to be the move like you think if you crank on some tight pants like you're back in the game And it's not the case. I think you go full Darryl Hammond and just wear sweat pants in a blazer. What's funny is watching the whole through the old hip hop guys having to adapt to the thing.

So I bet like, do I bet it's got to be really funny. Go see Wu Ten clan and Ray Kwong's just pouring out of a bunch of holes in his jeans. Just like one of the Migos. His big chef knees sticking out of a bunch of holes in his jeans. Just like one of the Migos. It's his big chef knees sticking out of his pants. Oh man, because if you came up in the time of big and baggy, it had to be so great, but that was when your body was tight, oh yeah. And then you just get older and you're like, wait, it moved.

Oh no. Why is everyone wearing these tight pants? That was a stupid look. I remember you being ahead of the curve and at the village underground like 10 years ago Arty Fuqua had like tight jeans and a tight shirt on and you went on stage and Arty was them seeing and you go, Arty, do you have to sneak out of the hood wearing tight clothes like that?

You have to put baggier clothes over like a slutty teenager? I'll always wear that. I'm going to laugh. Any walk around this pants, Arty Fuqua? Yeah. I'll be in Jolio London. You'll be in London, dude, but I'll be over here taking videos and just getting loose for you. This is the summer of soft rock, my friend. Bring it. I'm down to bring back linen shorts. I'm going to bring it back.

I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back.

I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to bring it back. but I'll be over here taking videos and just getting loose for you. This is the summer of soft rock, my friend. Bring it. I'm down to bring back linen shorts and just have it some nice soft rock. A good time with some old friends. It's going to kick up again big because then it's going to be like rage and run the jewels. But you know what? That's a little probably we're probably doing boys and Mollie crew. And but that sounds like obvious when you're sick of summer.

Maybe you're right. When it's June right. It's when it's June July. I was getting hotter. Molly crew take my ass home home sweet home Where is that concert at it is met life met life or city field one of those two city field be fucking awesome I have rather be city field so much more yet because we could sit in the stands and just people watching the whole time Yes, it is it's city field. Pooh. Yeah nice. Yes Hope we're gonna be on the field. Yeah, but then we'll go up to the stands the people watch you don't have to buddy You can people watch the floor. We know this from from cold play people watching on the floor rocks Do this better to be in it? I don't wanna see a bunch of young people ironically into Motley crew.

I wanna see people that lived hard. That is what you're saying. Loved it Motley crew. And just barely holding on. Oh my God, there's gonna be so many on ironically exposed stretch marks. God, I wanna know how many children were lost in court in that audience.

You're gonna see B for tits. They're coming out. When you see their husbands, just cringe like faces, just all crumpled up because they have to put their fat Wife on their shoulders so she can pull those fucking gazangas out for these fucking grandfathers on stage. Oh my god I'm gonna have a basket so hard just thinking about she gonna have one of those home depot back supports with that A dance lumber yeah to go those suspenders like oh, they're functional. Sorry. Sorry my C4s out of whack. It's these huge jugs

Functional sorry she got sorry my c4s out of whack is these huge I got a problem with Trutz over you PS yeah season the work Roy put me on your goddamn shoulders. I want I want to show Mick my kids see the bill to see my fat tip Mars big Mars is just like they bring them up in the machine. Or it's gonna be like Darth Vader, where they just open a bubble. This is just McMarcing backwards. Just a bunch of chubby women on shoulders,

pulling out their ploppers. And who is it? And who is it? It's Motley Crew. Boys in the West頓. Oh my God. Joan Jet, good lesbians out. Yeah, dude. Can't get it moving

When you say their body their rights to 69 in front of me if they want takes a lot of agility When you say floor is that seats though, right what? But you don't want to be in seats for this you want to be close to the action because then I can't see anything Because everyone towers over me. That is an issue for Jacob Jacob Jacob. I like Jacob's idea of seats I like the ability to sit down There's gonna be a lot of I need to sit down and talk to you about a person that's pretty close by Lou they never think of us Short Kings listen dude it's soft rock summer with short Kings thriving. Is that coming up that quick?

Yeah, oh, it's like that's my birthday. Oh Shit I'm gone. No Oh, yeah, you're on the christher tour You're on fully loaded Let's see no crack it's okay. No, no. I mean that is it city field. No Yeah, you're away. Oh Bomber That sucks. Let's see.

Well, good job, Bristol Tennessee. Yeah, happy. Yeah, happy Bristol Tennessee. Yeah, you can see how we're a great show with a brand nice to me. And Jay and Joey Diaz and Shane Gillis, Nikki Glazer, Mark Norman and Brian Simpson. Sure, it's an unbelievable show.

But we get to miss what I'm missing. Sad old hot people. If you're in Bristol, tend to see you're listening to this show right now, you better show your fucking honkers on someone's shoulder while I'm on stage because I'm missing out. Why are you?

Brett Michaels caliber tits. Yeah, dude. Damn, I was looking forward to watching some domestics. Oh well, I was only looking forward to this for a year. Damn, can we go to another one? Can you look where their tour is going? Because maybe later in the summer we can do a road trip. Oh, a Rochester.

Is Rochester? The Philadelphia, oh wait, that's June. The next day? Wait. Yeah, he's gone then. How is that? That's the same. What?

Yeah, another day later. They can do their show. Go to July, go to July. Let's see where we could catch this tour Oh, St. Louis we could stand. I mean we could do Hershey PA. That's not far July 12th. We could take off a Tuesday We can actually have at this guys Lou you hear what I'm about to say and you love it. We could do Live from Hershey Park

That day from the deaf leopard Molly crew poison. This is serious XM guys. I'll do that. I'll 100% do that. Jay, I will 100% do that. We're on a podcast calling to see if we can get into do a broadcast. It's fucking the satellite company.

Those old fucks would love to get on this station. Big Jim, you get us in here because I see how sad Jacob is. You get us to do this. And we can do, you know what we can all lay off puns in basketball for a little bit. Here's a good, Jay. I don't like how hard it is.

This is not your fault. Jay? You got to work and that's fine. Jay? All right, while we do this. Jay, I'm gonna need you to table that. Jay, here's what I think. I think we record an episode on the drive down,

the Pennsylvania, or half down, half back for the Thursday episode and go live Tuesday from death leopard five to seven, hang out in Hershey PA, go to see the show, drive home afterwards. Does Hershey PA is what about a three hour drive? I don't even think it even be that long. Coming back, it won't be that long.

Guys? What, you want to drive? I don't even think it even be that long. Coming back, it won't be that long. Guys? What, you want to drive Monday down? No, Tuesday. No, we go down Tuesday. Because we usually do. We record a Zoom recording in-route on the way down. We get a van or something or we'll take my car. We could probably, most of us fit in my car.

Do a big van. Bang bus. You record some down, a pre and a post. and then we also, and then Tuesday, we go live from the venue. I mean, we gotta see this concert. This is a disaster. No, this is not a disaster. Yeah, it is from the disaster from the ashes.

From the ashes, the Phoenix was born, I mean, idea that we go record from there, because that should be a possible thing because we're serious fucking ex-app. That would be three hours, dude. I'll do three hours in my fucking sleep. So record from there because that should be a possible thing because we're serious fucking ex out. And it'll be three hours, dude. I'll do three hours in my fucking sleep. I mean, you know, I'll kill him. I'll die. It seems like it's a phone call away from happening.

Yeah. Let's get Big Jim on the horn. I mean, this is big interview. We can interview people there. Big Jim, I take buns and bass about off your plate for four months. I'll stop talking about it if you make this happen for my Jacob. Yeah, well, wait till the winter. There are a chance we can sleep over and start the odd throttle. but off your plate for four months, I'll stop talking about it. If you make this happen for my Jacob. Yeah, well, wait till the winter.

Is there a chance we can sleep over and start the odd throttle? I honestly don't want to put too much on our plate. I like the idea, but I think we're doing two episodes in our concert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to get back for Wednesday. Well, now we might have in this

because we're all going to travel together. That is key. So we all got to travel there and come back together. All in one day. There's gonna be, there's gonna build some friction. You're gonna get a taste. You're gonna get a taste no matter what. Yeah.

Just our record, especially if we go coming home, because then the fire's down. On the way there, there's such a joy that it's like, you know, fuck, Lou just blew his cigarette my face four times. Why are we smoking in this van? He's gonna be like, all right, we're going to, Fuck Lou just blew his cigarette my face four times. Why are we smoking in this van? He's gonna be like all right We're going to we're going to the concert. He's amped up to see fucking these bands

Watch people watch these old bloated lizards move around the stage. They still got singing sexy sirens songs. Don't you dare come on Dude, I'm there just a watch I'll do it. Yeah, and we're looking to the live live show. I'd love to. I can't. Here's where I always do fun stuff like this. And here's what I will say. Here's where I'll say, well, there was there was a pandemic. Uh, here's you blame the science.

Yes. And here's where I'll say, if this doesn't happen, they, the series XM just doesn't want us to do it. There's no other reason. We're willing to go do six hours of drive time. I'll drive down. You can drive back. You know what I mean? I know I'll drive there. I'm back. I'll drive down there. I'm nervous. All wait. Jim would be all for it. It's just logistics to see if they're wired to have us. You're saying that you're saying Jim is powerless. You're saying so we're over wasting our time.

You're saying he's a cog in the machine. I'm saying he's the colonel and you're saying he's over here as a private. I put it 110% upon the colonel, as we call him, Jim, big Jim. But if he doesn't get me this happen, you're saying he can't make it happen. He has to go to somebody actually important. It's good for this, it's good for serious XM. It's good for the bands. It's great for the bands, you know?

It's fun being able to get a trim of the bands. Some of the bands should wanna come talk to us because I'll say it again, we're serious, fucking XM guys. I wanna watch them, I wanna watch them put Vince, Vince Neal in his pants. Oh my god. They're like a feeding it They're doing get to stretch it out Hey guys the roadies like it's actually a pretty cool device. It's called the pants open up

What we do is we put Vince up there we drop him right in I bet the hairy motion is asked when he pulls off leather pants You know how that's all sexy to watch a girl? You know how sexy to watch a girl with a nice butt put on pants? Like when the butt cheeks drop in. I bet it's like the reverse for Vince Neal when he's taking it off and it looks like a muffin just fucking. Yeah, it's spilling out. If it had a soundtrack it would go, booh.

His body makes that noise at least twice a day. What's what happened to me if I took off tights? Lure, you can't wait to see that pot belly pig sing. I bet you he brings to the table nothing. I know. Oh no. Laps. Come on.

This is going to be so fun. He's got no skills and he's got a huge stadium to sing in front of. Don't look, Porkey. I'm going to hold up during death leopard. I'm going to hold up a sinus his drum solo Great and actually I think it might happen now, Jay cuz death leopard is is kind of linked with serious XM They do a lot they just did a big

Concert exclusive concert for a serious XM. Why would you oh my lord damn you look like an old wrestler Doing like indie shows though. I think he got more work done Yeah, I think you gotta like read that tell you as someone that's been up close to it waiting on him It was jarring You know you see people with plastic surgery and it's like you're like oh what? When I went through the table because someone was like dude Vince Neils in your section at 144 and I was like what I know walked out and someone was like, dude, Vince Neils in your section at 144. And I was like, what?

I know. I walked out and I was like, oh my lord. It was the same feeling I had when I saw my dad with cirrhosis. I was like, oh, fuck. What year was this that he looked like at school? 2000 and 10. Okay, he was already, his face changed by then.

Yeah. I got out in 2011, Jim. Why do you gotta tell me how much Def Leopard is loved by a series six and after I just made that great Trump solo joke? You can just go, oh that's crazy. They're actually big investors. Oh, you know what? That's funny.

They're new executive producers of this show. Def Leopard channel. I bet there's Def Leopard channel right now. 100%. They just released a new album, which I'm sure is great. I know. Jacob, super you. Jacob, I know you're a company boy. I understand that.

But is it great? Jacob would be, I love Jacob. I enjoyed it and I think you're gonna like the new music live. I love Jacob. I love Jacob more than most of my family members. I do know that Jacob is such a company man that if I ever found out the conspiracy about like serious ex-m or they're like it's all goes upstairs. Howard's responsible for all that or something like that and I was like I knew it.

I fucking knew it would be like and I'd get jab by Jacob. I'm sorry Dan. It's as if you can't go against. Yeah, so many questions. Why would you keep asking questions? You got too curious, stupid cat. Then I'm dead, but I would get it. Now, Jacob will lie right to our faces, stone cold, if it means the company's gonna be okay. And that's what you're supposed to do. Yeah, dude.

It's why if they don't value you more, I'm gonna be upset for you. You better get a bump, dude. You better get a pay bump. Yeah. If you better start greasing all your palms for the ringer you guys run us through. Okay.

This ringer. Well let's see if we can do it. Let's, can we really, can we really check? No, Dan. We can do it. You're right. It can be done. Yeah.

I'm gonna save right now. Consider it done. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you're like to do. it done yeah that's Jake that's not Jacob oh the Jake just wake up I'm sorry it's an ask car channel let me take a call what's our call are you calling in about Joey Lagano so I call it is here where did this guy come from oh I like that you're like Lagano in the seventh turn oh man I liked that a whole lot I just made up a turn from ask out I don't know if it's true

well I was it oh you're Lugano in the seventh turn Seven turn. Yeah, it means nothing. It's not a thing. I know it is a thing at some point they've turned seven times Shit dude. Oh, sorry. You got beat by logic every Sorry, you just got boofed by logic Katie was supposed to come in today to help us review top gun, she's sick, but she's, you know, resting. Prayers up. She have an altitude sickness.

Cause of the thing. She actually just wasn't calling her out. She goes, did you guys go to the 4RD, the 4D movie? She goes, it was cold in the theater, they splashed water on her face face they jerked her around a bunch Feels horrible. They took her to 4G not 10 They made her go inverted is that in 4d theaters top-gun?

Campy that would be horrible. I would not want to go see that because if you recall the end of the movie This isn't a spoiler pretty much all of the filming of the airplanes inside cockpit is them going from one side to the other side and jerking it real quick And if you're in your chair trying to eat fucking jujubees and you get you're gonna choke the death man You're gonna pull something at least at least I mean you're gonna that neck really 4dx son of a bitch Yo, we should have went to that if you fucking went to Jacob would be back in surgery Yeah, you'd have to be back in his halo if you went to go see Maverick Top Gun in 4D, please call in. The numbers 866-969-1969.

He goes, they blew fire at us at one point. I don't know, it was just, it was hot, then it was cold. You know, I bet it was fun though, whatever they did for a parachuteing down. Oh, yeah. Probably like a nice little... breeze. Yeah, a little while, maybe a little wind in my face. And then I hit the water. They just gash me with water. Well, I guess this is the part where we tell you if you haven't seen Top Gun

Maverick, we're going to talk about the movie. So you can turn it if you don't want it spoiled. Just listen, you know what's going to happen. Yeah, you know what the movie is. The movie is out and then he's back in. The movie the day when it's the most top gun top gun sequel it could have been. They just were like, let's just play the hits. It's unforgiven too. I want to say out of the gates. But better than unforgiven too. Because here's the thing, I would say it was a horrible movie. I enjoyed it very much, but not for the right reasons. Like, so, I think when people are saying it's one of the greatest sequels ever, like I just assume they're

saying it like me though, it's like yes, because I assume also much like me, everybody went back and revisited the first, you're like, oh damn, I just realized now this is the first movie is dumb as ball. Yeah. So like, but I would disagree. I would because I immediately think it's not better than T2. It's not better than aliens. So it's like you're already it's not the best sequel ever. Sure. People love people love just toss them. It's the best blanket. Oh yeah. Now they're No. That's why everyone's calling everybody goat. We talk about that.

Everyone's like, he's the goat. There's no way that we're living in the time of all the greatest of all time. All right now, all these, this guy at Wendy's that beat the shit out of another guy's the goat. He's the greatest of all time. But top gun two was. I mean, Amity feel horror too.

Yeah. I would say hell- Hell- Hell-raiser too. Hell-raiser 2. Yeah, I would say Hellraiser 2. Hellraiser 2. Hellraiser 2. They, what they did well is. I conic gay film Nightmare on Amstery Part 2. What they did well is they really gave you everything you wanted. Opening scene, aircraft carrier, jets taking off, and all.

Guys being stoked on it. And the fucking German suplexer himself Hans Zimmer bringing in that this the second I saw this with any kind of flame on it I was like I was shocked to see pretty much that with all the technology advancement in the planes and everything like the way they land is like they still like they have a thing that grabs it from behind and then a net it just bounces into and you're like that's the really the fucking solution to this yeah wasn't that because I thought that was because their wheels got clipped

and they had to do it like that no they do it because they no no that's the emergency one at the end for sure but no generally they always get a net catches them and the thing hooks it from behind but it's because there's a it's because it's a very short run that's why they don't have time to like to stop on their own. I'm surprised to see in 2022 Tom Cruise without a helmet on on his motorcycle still. Love it. Scott loves it. He hung on the side of a plane for a mission impossible. Yeah, there's like all these crazy stories about him just being like, hey, can I climb

that building? He believes if he explodes, he turns into a seven alien life form. Yeah, he's trying to go into somebody else awesome. He's trying to rip the seven aliens out of him. He's like, after I die, I'm going to be Brad Pitt for a few years. I don't know. Let's think about floating around into a volcano in Hawaii. And it's hanging for an eternity.

Kicking it. Yeah, man. It started exactly the way I wanted to with this. The sweet riff And then right into danger zone. Yeah, I mean they didn't even fuck it. They were like bang, but there was such a Good job of pleasing exactly what you wanted to see which was like hey, you're here for top gun Here's the most top gun. Here's top gun. Here's the intro from the first one Now Maverick here's the most top gun. Here's the intro from the first one. Now Maverick, here's your team of a black friend and an Asian girl.

Yeah, dude. And now you better get down there and help them out of top gun that now has women. And of all the fighter pilots in the world, would you believe the top 10 there's still a woman got in there somehow? And not a daiki one. No a pretty woman also her boyfriend This don't think this is nepotism. Yeah, that girl is the Christina top gun She's like I got your six We got it. Yeah, there's a big in the air. There's a fifth generation coming up on us Yeah, there's a non just there's a non descriptive country's playing coming at us Yeah, they did real catalog pilots

Same way they're trying to sell shirts. Yeah, they're the crank crank the flying was cool as Fuck yeah, also hated that they dressed miles Exactly like goose when I told them when he was playing the When he's playing the piano and the bar scene. I was like this sucks I can he just look exactly like your dad. That's like if I had permed hair in a mustache And I was drinking a rubbing coke with boat shoes on look. Oh, you're looking exactly like Gary's. Oh, man Sorry, I'm just swing command on my OPs It's a filming day. I didn't know. Oh, sorry. I'm just swinging command on my OPs. Today, it's today a filming day, I didn't know.

Oh, sorry, I'm dodging an X. I'm dodging an X, it's seven to be corporate. It's because zipper burns on my shaft, you might have a just real quick. I got a fucking lady with clear emotional issues. You know, a fucking lady wears red dresses on Tuesdays. Yeah, dude, I couldn't stand it. I was like, oh, he just looks like him. It's got the mustache like it does not

Woohoo! It's got a grease chest. Oh, but also also by the way I've taken to obnoxiously playing piano. I would have placed no one's asking for it Oh, I pulled out a jukebox that takes credit card now so you've clearly taken money from people Oh I do But I did say I did say this to you guys think I was last week on the show Tom Cruise These things to you. He's got a weird small mouth He's a very odd guy. I like the mess the message every every battalion has an iceman There's always a guy who's sort of a dick. Yeah, dude. They did that they just did the second zero

But it almost was like Tom Tom Cruise and begin a movie this where he's just wearing the same jacket and always has the same outfit. How about the time to reveal my very average motorcycle? Yeah, because that thing's a hunk of shit. He pulls it off and goes, that's the wrong. I don't know.

It could actually be. Well, it's a hunk of shit or not. It's just like an old, it wasn't an iconic motorcycle. You know, I mean like that he had like the first one and it's like, this is the motorcycle mean, like, he had like the first one. It's like, this is the motorcycle. No one cared about the motorcycle the first one. No one thought about the guy that got the motorcycle. It's a plane movie.

Also, I just have this question. Does he always have to fly upside down? No, but he's still like the best he had. Dude, love's going upside down. He's the best, right? He's like the best pilot, right? I got into this. I mean, I don't, you finished, Dan. Oh best pilot, right? I'll get into this. I mean, I don't, you finished Dan.

As I have a lot about this, I asked two questions last week. Yeah. We're not answered in my opinion. So I just want to know. Tillair Jacobs said to me as soon as we came out of the thing, he goes, two questions, neither answered. Well, my question to this is, he's still the best pilot, right? But he's pushing 60, you deteriorate at a,

like a rapid pace between 50 and 60. He's just still got sharp vision and can see jets flying and he's still, you know. He's Tom Cruise, dude. Yeah, that doesn't mean shit. I watch, you know, like when old wrestlers come back, you're still bummed out because they move all gently and shit anymore, yeah't you can't go anymore

No, I mean it's all it's all that's in real life. We're talking fucking maverick. We're talking about Peter Yeah, Pete Mitchell. We're talking about Pete Mitchell who also now I like the ulcerer's that wouldn't you know Everything's updated so he goes now he tests air planes that go to space space planes And then goes but I would you need you to come back and just teach people how to drive fly the right year old planes top gun Again if you would mind real quick you were too fast, so we got to put you in school Which is get that guitar riff because that made me laugh out of the theater where they go you're going back to top gun You guys know how to fucking get me going Yeah, and he goes mom died because also goose's mom died because

Meg Ryan was asking for a lot. Yeah, cuz she was too much day rates crazy It's my mom died because her day rates had a head which is this 1997. She's not getting a lot of work So she's asking for a lot. What do you mean, 89? Yeah, that, what were your two questions, Jacob? Oh, it's piggybacking what you just said. I asked, why does the Navy still hate him after all this time because he's awesome.

He's a hero. Uh, the beginning of the movie, Ed Harris, whose job is to be in charge of naval pilots, reads Top Guns, uh, Mavericks resume to him. And he just got, uh, unbelievably more awesome since he graduated from Top Gun. Oh, yeah. I mean, Afghanistan, he's been all over the world and he has asked they should have written it in that he killed a bunch of civilians. That would have been something. They go, Matt got damn it, Maverick. Remember when you dropped that bomb on that school

in Fallujah? I was I was fine. Fast and loose. I was thinking about John Ham just had an unnatural. Almost like he wanted a like hatred of him. Because Tom Cruise or I'm saying, Maverick does whatever he wants and he gets away with it because Iceman's like high up and gets him out of it all the time. So that's why the Navy doesn't really like him.

No, because he's going around breaking, even though he's awesome, he's like breaking rules and getting away with it. But the rules he breaks are cornball. Don't fly below the hard deck to get pussy. Fuck that, don't work that. Yeah. These are real Maververick you fly below the hard deck from pussy if you want to I think you put a lady in the cockpit Sure what below deck is he got there what this was a forced plot device because there's no way anyone would be angry at him He's a living

He's a great point are incredible what he's done. He would be incredible. He would have to buy a beer ever again No, he would go to Steelers games and they just put them on the sidelines and put the camera on him And by the way, even that when he goes to the top gun bar They're like fuck off the old grandpa piece of shit Yeah, and like he's like fuck. I don't have my I don't have cash It's cash only and they throw him out like I know it's that they're joking half jokingly But it's like they did it still anyway. It's like what a stupid your fucking hands of captain Pete Maverick Mitchell Yeah, that guy is the only reason you're alive man

Also, fuck off Jennifer Connelly. I put my cell phone on the bar and I got to buy the whole place around suck my dick Don't you're not gonna charge me for that. Yeah, fuck that shit straight up so mad Jennifer Connelly But I remember you when you were fucking You're not gonna charge me for that. Yeah, fuck that shit straight up. So mad. Jennifer Connelly. But you remember you when you were fucking dying ass when you were diking out for heroin. Remember that? Don't get all high in my D yummy now, bitch. Remember when you were going to ask to ask

for a $20 brown bag? Look, at least they gave Ed Harris some contrived reason to dislike him. It's nonsense though. You would, you'd f**k. John Hamm has no reason to accept it. It's just he's awesome. I think so awesome. I hate that he hates it. I think the reason they gave John Hamm the anger was like he was supposed to be Maverick or like Maverick is outshined

him by not following the rules and hams at the work. Yes, but again, one of my favorite. I mean, I left that ladder most of these things with Jacob when Ed Harris comes in And he's like well well Maverick. You're still a piece of shit You broke the rules. I can't he goes I came here directly to look you in the eyes myself and say you're out of the Navy You're grounded for the rest of your life then while you stole our plane and took it now to space, I got a phone call that says you're getting reassigned the top gun right now with the highest prestige. You're like, what? Full pension. You're like, I was coming here to punch you right in the

dick, but instead, here's one million dollars. If you, if you change Tom Cruise and a fighter pilot, you just need extremely hot girl? Those were like all the chances that he gets. Yeah. Where it's just like, you're fucking crazy. You burned my house down, but another guy saw you and he's gonna give you a lot of money. And then she's like, gray, whatever, you're fucking,

I'm gonna fucking ruin that. He is hot chick. He's just all hot chick, shit. I came here to break up with you, but God You're kids are so big. I was gonna ground you but I see in this room man. Have you even showered yet? How do you look so good? I'm gonna send you back to top because I gotta get you the fuck out of here man. I feel things Oh my god. You said you're gonna bring your friend over and I still need to know that means do you need a car? Do you need like a niece on or something?

Sugar daddy you I don't know what I feel Iceman is just maverick sugar daddy. He's like god you just fly so fast. I fucking love it It makes me feel like I'm up there with you. I need to see you. I just want to look at you hug me. He's like those guys that pay for hot chicks Instagram vacations Dude they had the Dub O they had the ADR crazy Handi kept Val Kilmer voice over his actual handy go, they really made it seem like he's gonna talk now and you can see it's ADR. Yeah.

I heard, I read about that. They created a brand new software. Or I think either he, they took some of his voice or even his son. Are they gonna only get, they're gonna get tombstones? He's like, I'm your Huckleberry. There you go. Maverick.

Huckleberry. Maverick. Huckleberry. Johnny Reyes goes. You're not wearing a bussel. Oh, dude. You're no daisy at all. Maverick. There. Now we can be friends again.

Are you by friends? Yeah. At the time, I think you just had a surgery. He can only talk with a hole If he plugs a hole in this throat. I know I watch the documentary. It's important. He's like a recorder. No, he's just a block the hole and then you That's what I mean. He's like, oh, Pretty much the documentary I did love that scene though with them. Oh man with ice cream

I mean like it's just poor Val Kilmer. Yeah He's still got it's acting chops though, man But my other He said this might he had the type and go Still got it now I still liked it Listen he, the doors will always be in my top five movies of just like movies I've loved in my life.

One of the other ones is Lost Boys. So I mean, don't take it that seriously. But Val Kilmer is Jim Mars. And like, I mean, it just like influenced such a, my love of the doors was based off of his portrayal of Jim Mars. Did I totally get that? My love of America was pushed through whole Cougat. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got real. I got real. I got real. Dude, dude. Dude, okay.

I'm throwing one on top of the other one here. While we're figuring out summertime, Slambery with Poison Deflepper'd yeah going to Hershey and Molly crew going to Hershey I think we should also broadcast live on our group trip down the Tampa from Hogan's place That would be great Hogan's Beach Resort Resort

Place and just go karaoke night and just cut loose all of us I would do that in a second. That would be so fun. I'd be so nervous to do that. Or as a group trip, we should all plan and take Dan to Margaritaville Resort. I, we still need to do group. The restaurant for sure, but I want to take you to

the resort. Yeah, I, I'm starting to reach this point where I, I think it would make me angry because I would just be like, we'd tell you what, do you do crushing NA's in a lazy river Oh, shut your mouth. That would be so sick and a controlled lazy river and I have and you know what honestly I'd have to buy some OPs some TLO piece. Yeah, they will all hang loose dick inside of our shit That's the New York one. Yeah, I'm not leaving with a fucking tumbler. I am I ate at the Marguitaville at the cancun airport. Yeah, good coconut shrimp I think I had a case idea what pretty okay pretty okay not great

How dude it's chilies with a different name on it. It's not even chilies. Dude. Don't even do that Really? Chili's throw some heat in certain areas. It says um Me and Christina that have a chili's last time we were from the goobies. And Christine, right by there. It was felt horrible that weekend. And still, we've got chilies two of the nights, and we're happy, we got like salads one time.

That was so surprising. It was good. I couldn't believe it. Go fuck with that buffalo chicken salad. That's what we got, I think it was really good. Yeah. Except when they make it too hot, and then a thousand of us are still staying in that. Spicy spice. That's what we got, I think. It was really good. Yeah. Except when they make it too hot, and then that was when I was still staying in that place. Spicy spice. The hotel that's connected with the chilies.

Mm-hmm. Head to go. Do do braille. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do We're going to the Bahamas. Oh, Nashville Nashville. That's just a hotel. Yeah. Oh, Key West Key West dude Yeah, but I bet those are booked through like 2026 Yeah, dude, that's Mecca Key West for for parades. No, that's their mecha. No, we're not going to some bull We're going to Margaritaville where it makes sense to be to Margarita It's the number one hotel in New York City on TripAdvisor

where it makes sense to be to Margarita. It's the number one hotel in New York City on TripAdvisor. Yeah, that's correct. Margarita Village Hotel. I mean, it looks like our pretty bad ass hotel in New York City. It's called Resort. It's called Resort. It's called Resort.

So it's considered a hot place. This is to a staycation, the New York one. Should we start going hanging out and being regulars? You know, like make it like the Beverly Hills. Hey, Tam, you know how like in LA, the Beverly. Hey, Tim, you know how like an L.A. the Beverly Hills hotels like real cool. Yeah, you just hang there. She just push the Margaritaville is like a trashy Beverly Hills hotel hotel. Poop, poop, poop.

God bless them. You wouldn't do Hogan's because I almost feel like you could get Hogan to be on the show. Oh, yeah, 100% we can't. We promised some karaoke. Yeah, yeah, I think I told this story, but free karaoke plugs, dude. One time I was in, um, it was when we were doing the Moon Tower a couple of years ago. I was leaving the Aleft and Jeff Dye, another comedian. I want to get a bullet in the documentary. Not show man, Randy Savage, not shows.

Yeah, dude, he's like, sorry, those are off the menu, brother. But he, Jeff Dye was like, dude, I just worked Tampa and I met Hulk Hogan. He came to a show and I went out on his boat and drank beers with him. He was telling me stories. He was telling me like, Macho Man stories. And I was like, oh man, you do a good Macho Man Hulkster

and he was like, well, there's a comedian that does macho man that does it pretty good brother, but he's like, but he was making fun of me when I got in trouble for saying the N word. And he's talking about when I was on Sam Roberts's show through a macho man. And dude, I legitimately was scared in Austin that whole Cogan was mad at me.

And I was like, is he mad at me? Is the immortal whole Cogan upset at me? And I was like, I don't care, but it was like a is he mad at me? Is Hulk Hogan? Is he a mortal Hulk Hogan upset at me? And I was like, I don't care, but it was like a weird feeling to have. It was like, more than a handle this. You gotta face him at Hogan's beach with him. I would love to do a WrestleMania three poster with me and the Hulkster.

Let me tell you something, Sodor. But yeah, when Jeff Dye told me that, I was like, no. But also, I tell him that I was kidding when I said he goes, no, I don't talk to him anymore. You know what, I actually got off the boat when he said that. Yeah, I was like, fuck you. Dan Soda Rules.

You suck ass. You suck ass. I'm glad you lost your family. Oh. Oh. Peace. And at least you do it. I want some fucking slam and nachos.

Kato, we'd love to get a fucking leg dropped. Fuck milkshake. Suplex burger. Yeah. How they are not called to the camel clutch nachos. That's great. That's great. Because they were hit with a side of steel chair's falsies.

Brother, did you get to end with the one, two, three dessert fucky I scream it and sour all in one dessert it's the one two three it's the pin fall dessert brother um ladders chairs and table bread dude will sassos does the best fucking whole cogan impression ever it's like to a tee and it makes me laugh so fucking hard. I just go watch clips of it The way he says brother is just don't you're down there brother And like the way he does it is fucking perfect. It kills me every time damn flame and yon from fucking Hogan's place, huh? Yeah No giant Andre the steak. That's what they should

Stake're come on. Man, it's not right here. What about the bam bam, bolonies? He said a bam, bam, big hello. He's like, dude, I love the bam, bam, bononies. Group or sex fun? Come on. Because, you know, he fucks his friends. He's like, boy, do you want to take our first break

and come back and finish talking to him? Big best friend's wife's red snapper? That's perfect. I have three more points. I want to make so you know, oh top gun. Yeah, we'll return. Let's take our break We have to go a little bit. Yeah, but then we can oh, yeah, 630 Oh, really we can go a little longer. Yeah, we go. Yeah, we was the only one in this hour. We're good Jacob. Please I like because yeah There's plenty more my points. Please. Yeah, I could I want the movie itself. I could break down. I love it There's like a couple of points real you love absolutely loved it. I mean I love going over it I enjoyed it. I had so much fun. I do love this very fun. This love letter to flying. So I appreciated that.

You know, he's an aviation nut. Yeah, that's all about aviation. Mm hmm. Well, that'll bring up a point later. I should really get my buddy John at some point. If it was ever possible, I'll take Jacob up and like the Apache helicopter. Pretty nuts.

Yeah, have you done it? Pretty fucking nuts. He took me up once in a, we just went up and down. Don't actually, I think he offered. No, we did. You know, I said I was weird out. He's like, he's like, what do you think? I go, I think it's weird that John's flying me in a helicopter with missiles and guns on it. You know, it looks like a video game inside. You should ask him if you can grab a hand strap and the next time like Chris Kiss Christine

Let her go and go take me up and then I'm hanging off the side Look at hero. Yeah, my shirt, let her go and go, take me up and then bring your leg hanging off the side. Look at hero. My shirt's half ripped open. Or lay down on the like a platoon, like lay down on the floor of it. And I'll take you up. All right, what are your points, sorry, Jacob?

Well, I'll skip that since he brought it up. I almost think it's like also a nod to Chuck Yeager because it's almost mimics his whole career being Fighter pilot and then becomes a test pilot. Yeah, which is almost exactly what Maverick's doing in this movie He was going to mock what it wasn't like Yeager just Broke mock the sound barrier. Yeah, Mark one Well guess what Maverick broke Mark 10. Yeah, so suck my dick Chuck Eager.

But he's also that's actual Tom Cruise's He wasn't not the Chuck Eager. Hey Chuck Eager, suck our dick. We did nine more than what you did. Mr. Amazing. Slow old bitch. What a piece of shit. Fuck Chuck Eager.

But so that's his actual Mustang at the end of the movie that's Tom Cruise is a P 51 Mustang you want you to know but it's yeah oh you know he was gonna work that in but I was telling that in a text like how much does Mavericks broke he owns his own hanger hanger bay and vintage world war two aircraft mine are point but okay yeah that's still good yeah why does he have owns his own hanger, hanger bay and vintage World War II aircraft. Mm-hmm. Minor point, but okay. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah.

Why does he have money from? I always love that. Action movies. You're welcome. They're always like, they always have money. But then they're like yelled at at their job for sucking. Yeah. He's only a captain.

And that was a big deal, right? What is Captain? Can you look up how much a captain in the Navy makes? A fighter pilot? Fighter pilot Captain the Navy. Now, Sherry's 30 years in, you know, it's about 30 years in. That's impossible. The guy wouldn't even be in the Navy. Yeah, though, he's still a captain. He's still a captain, but he's decorated. But he's done everything. Even, but they can't even voice to pawn him new new metals. Navy pilot. They said Navy fighter pilot can make 32,000 to 140,000.

So it's also looks like 180 would be the biggest max out. Not going to say I got to say, that's not a lot. Not enough to own a fucking hanger. I've been working here guys remember for 10 years. So he's probably enough hundred and twenty. Playing calls a few million for sure. Do you think he's flying drugs? Why don't they make him more real?

You know, having bomb kids, having run drugs, arms for Central America, the Guatemalan gangs are getting all their guns from Maverick. See, I just, I just just got that movie. Also, right now, also in this mission, in this movie, 30 years into his career, Tom Cruise also, same haircut as he quadrupled his air kills in this. He had two, yeah, two migs. And then F-14.

And then went to Afghanistan, all these tours and different places he's gone to, no other kills until this movie. Yeah, wouldn't they be like, he has 37 kills. Yeah, you would have thought he's got a bunch of... He was in Afghanistan just lighting them up. Maybe that's why Ed Harris hates him so much. Yeah, he's like, you've caused him a nature of...

Because you won't kill. You refuse the kill. He's like, what are caused no nature to- I'm not a kid. Because you won't kill, you refuse to kill. He's like, what are you in G.I. Joe? How do you never kill people with guns? Hey, I know we spent a lot of money to send you over there to kill the enemy. Now keep flipping upside down, and giving them the goddamn finger in a polar right. We get it, you buzz their tower, you scare them.

It costs fucking 27,000, hey. You fucked the boss's daughter. Just put in a love of God. You're out there, fucking and flying, and you're costing us an arm in a leg and we got a military industrial complex I we're getting a ton of money here maverick well speaking of that I mean my other question last week was who is this big enemy that he's they're fighting yeah there is no mention they did a great job but I get it you don't need that heat

By the way, it's not your friend to us the enemy. We don't even know we don't even call them hour enemy It's we're doing this for our allies. Yeah, we're actually doing it because but what because whatever this enemy is gonna Do is gonna do something to our allies not that we're helping people who need our help now is it's snow So probably white. Yeah. You don't know where. Probably maybe Asian. Yeah. Maybe North Korea. You don't know where on planet Earth this fight happens.

It's North Korea. It's part of North Korea. I'll tell you right now. You think? There's only one way to find out. We get a trip there and we see if we, that big gym, could we broadcast live in North Korea? I want to meet a tongue-yang. I want to meet him send us things I want to do it. We'll do one comedy show at that Dennis Robin Memorial basketball theater

Fucking palace Tell Kim Jong-il you can bring his cool clothes Kim Jong, lunes like skank hands That somebody should really Photoshop fucking Kim Jong, doing skank hands. I'm a rear-ass dude Emiss is scrabbing yeah I'm a subscriber. Yeah, he goes, hey, sorry guys. He did, he did, he's a subscriber. Skies, I just found out that Kim Jong-lun's huge skank fan. He's coming to Skank Festival. Yeah, it's all to guys who. Dude, this video that he put out is so funny. Oh, yeah, I didn't see this yet.

Dude, he's got a leather jacket on, he's just walking away from a missile. He made his own trailer for his missiles. This is like a truck, this is like a truck car commercial. Dude, I swear to God, this is made by the state. Look at this. My eye rock is almost a hear. Yeah, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's Yeah. He made this. The music gets more urgent and there are some fast cuts but this is real as they look at their watches. Then Kim gives the signal and the big missile is slowly wheeled out of the building. There's some more walking and watch looking. That blinking red light can only mean one thing. The officers seemingly shout the missile into ignition, which the video shows from lots of different angles.

Then the mood shifts to one of celebration. There's a class photo, with Kim in the center of it all. And of course, more cool slow motion walking. The self-congratulatory piece of propaganda came after North Korea's task launched its largest intercontinental ballistic missile this week. That missile, called Wasongpo-17, landed in the Sea of Japan. It was the DPRK's first intercontinental ballistic missile test since 2017. Experts believe an ICBM of this sort could reach the United States and could carry a nuclear

payload. We know. I don't know why, and maybe it's just what I do to not panic about, you know, rationalize to not panic about a thousand things going on in the world. I just like to believe that whoever our military leaders are, when they watch that video, panic about, you know, you rationalize to not panic about a thousand things going on in the world. Sure. I was like to believe that whoever our military leaders are when they watch that video are just laughing and going like, it's fine.

Yeah. Like, it's fine. I hope there is that guy here. We will erase them from the map. But also, I love the people that are all like, I love nothing happens. I love the people that are like, he's evil. He's pure evil.

He's like, he's also doing exactly what I would do if I was him Just oh come on. Oh my god. Dude making trailers for the big missile that you just bought and you're like you guys want to make show mother fuckers Yeah, dude. I love it comes out in a leather jacket ribs dude. Yeah, what's up MTV? I'm Kim John and this is my missus I though and this is where the magic happens You guys you know all my boys got to come in and tell me the directions for dude. It's fucking crazy Yeah, he shows off his ICBM. It's the bonfire that's very true You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire!

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