The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - His Mom's Dead, Bud

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

@thebonfiresxm

It's Dan Soder and Big J. Oakerson. Welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. We'll have new episodes every morning, Tuesday through Friday. If you want more Bonfire, you can always hear our full show every day on Series XM. You can go to seriesexm.com slash Bonfire for a special three month offer. The Bonfire! The Bum Fires! Look at you. You almost hurt her. When are you going to go full sleeve on the arm?

Jay is showing me his tattoo. That's what he's showing me. You got it done and where. And here's my dick. I got it done in St. Louis from Mania Beatty. From Chicago. Awesome tattoo. How long was he tattoo you 18 hours in my room over through over three days now over two days over two days

What did you watch Man all of it bad trip the impractical jokers movie several episodes of 2020 That the Jake Paul the Jake Paul fight I Wish son of Sam would have came out I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say. I'll finish it. I'll start it. And there's just a lot of stuff that I wanna make fun of with you. I'll tell you what that documentary, a little bit I watched it so far, makes me realize, the idea, there's no more lovers lanes. Doesn't exist. The place you just go to like finger and get jacked.

Yeah. Doesn't exist. That's what you do. That's what you do. That's what you do. That's what you do. It's called Lover's Lane. And they were all, every race called it that.

They were like, you know, going down to Ken P. One of the lovers lanes. Yeah, the brand lovers lane did son and the documentary is called sons of Sam, but do you think that I wonder if that's what ruined lovers lanes? Because after that, right in the 90s and walking. We're making out on lovers lane and then the killers Fucking out of the car never Well, no more lovers lanes. What's crazy is the one where they were like, you know It the lovers lane one was one of the most infamous ones because he was just shooting long-haired brunettes and then That lovers line in Brooklyn was the blonde

And her boyfriend. Yeah, yeah. I heard you documentary. I don't want to ruin what happens It's he was only trying to shoot her in the face unfortunately by doing that. He also hit the guys dick Zoe oh two two mouth Two two two for Monday two for Mondays double punchline. Did you uh you call your mom? You call that fucking what that business is yours dude. Just call that sweet piece of ass Terry until I said

Have your mother's day. I mean maybe she did she asked about you I guess. Yeah dude I found a picture of Trish showing her stems and I was like I'd submit her to smash her trash on this picture. Oh my young mom that one I sent a while ago could have been a winner. Winner half boobs hanging out. Remember that? Yeah, but we'd have to submit it for the listeners to judge, because we're just going to go there. No, I wouldn't put it up there for that.

Yeah, I remember that one. That's why I said, yeah. Yeah, it's an old D. All right, dish. This is, I don't need no man. Shapely. Yeah, dude. Shapely games. With those fucking that that 80s hair.

Yeah, no matter what looks like you're on top of a fucking mountain, because you're in stupid Colorado. Also, you just see that I'm just a turd kid. This is a, yeah, this one's, this is a receipt for a loser. That picture looks like it looks like you guys were taking a little bit of a break. As you guys were doing some sort of like inter state like spree where she walks in with you And then like 12 gauge shotgun robes a place. Yeah, mom. I'll make money. I'm a son robbery Yeah, you don't even know what's happening. She goes go play with the toys Danny and you go toys

I go Oh look they got the WWF ones mom Do you mind if I play in the mom it's me Dan. I'm eight years old Do you mind if I go over there and look at some toys? I'm seven years old and I really love Dictracie for my Dictracie Hey, my voice is about to go by a shaving kit. You need anything over from toiletries. Hey mom If I call over I can just call in this threat knew it probably

Hey Dan we're gonna rob a place fucking love it Can I get a juice Mom up Upie upie upie baby won't go upie baby baby tired Boppy. Boppy. Baby won't go upy. Baby, baby tired. Baby hungry for milk. Milk, milk. Where's my binky? Where's dad now? Dude, imagine having it only. Imagine fucking running out on your kid and he calls you with a deep voice. Dad. See, it's me your five year old. Hey, it's me, your five year old. You're just two birthdays in a row now, I've noticed. Hey, daddy, I'm going into first grade tomorrow. I thought you might wanna talk about it.

You want it to work out in the oil fields and me and Mock, I'm sure you some help. Hey, dad, I'm still scared of the basement when I turn the light off, but I'm pretty excited to go into the merchant marines. You know, we have to do our happy mother's day. I did call my mother. You called your mother.

I know you did. You're such a good son. Oh, it's like all my grandmothers. Jacob only had to walk five feet to French his mom. Hey, come here. Open it up. Open sesame. Happy mother's day.

Make me that sound I like. Yeah, the difficult one Loot as you get your mom a bunch of Christmas scratch-offs She's dead you got this year you You took oh man, that was just say you forgot I'll be honest but cut today something I told it's been it's been such a crazy year Dan that like when you said that I was in my head I was like I didn't say, I was like, I didn't say, so I was like, oh I think lose.

Oh man, the second I said it, I was like, as it came off the fingertips, I'm like, god damn it. It's real nice. Yeah, he bought scratch offs. He bought scratch offs already, cried, put cigarettes out on his own chest while he scratched them off. Real nice. I had a fun night sitting at a grave sleeping there, but no, bring it up again. Hey, what's your mom do? Bring those big old floppin titties over and take you out for a fucking

turkey dinner to bar you scumbag fuck me. Would she make it? I know she passed away. She passed away. Did she make her stuff man of Coddies? She died this year and you're like oh yeah we had a long talk about it. I'm sorry. We know I love the value damn because me and you are cut from the same court it's why we

get along so good. We don't even hold things on each other when it's like something that was bothering us because we see it all, it's all us. When I said, oh, dude, you forgot his mom, you've totally forgot. And you thought you went, and you tried to say, what could it have been that I was just fucking, what I'm saying, like, did you buy scratch offs?

Did you get, could I have made it that he was getting scratch offs in her honor? Now, already said for her. Yeah. Yep, I forgot. Did you get, could I have made it that he was getting scratch offs in her honor? Now already said for her. Yep, I forgot. Yeah, you know what it is? I looked for the daylight and realized there was none. I was caught. We're done the same thing.

If I could have finagled it, if I could have, I would have just finagled it. By the way, if I saw you perfectly finagled, if I would have saw if you nailed the landing, even if I knew you were full of shit, I'd have been like, good on you kid. Yeah, I go, well, I thought like if I had a piece of information a joke I made that something you did at the grave and then you'd be like did you do that? I was like pull out pull out Yeah, I did you scratch him off over her her stone You know what I did at the end of that I just in any movie when when the guy lights the cigarette and he just knows it's gonna end I was just like, yeah, I fucked out. Yeah, he goes, he goes, let me just finish this butt and I'll tell you everything. Yeah, they go, we, we, we're

gonna crash and then you just hear the flick of the lighter. I just go, you know what? We're gonna be alright. So what do you do now that your mother has passed this year? Did you do anything at all? Well, now I do it worse because it's the first mother's day without his mom. Did you, uh, did you, uh, put her sweater in a cave and a kill a bunch of campers? Why would, how would that help? Uh, you know, I don't know.

Why did I help Jason? For he's have a 10 movie career. So maybe that would help guy made it all the way Manhattan And if you can make it there He'll wear it killed those teenagers on the moon Those kids were so mean they drowned my Lou just because he was deformed Is living with your mom on Mother's Day, we're Jacob. Was she demanding things?

Was she doing like it's a my day thing? No, I cooked for her. She took it easy. She took it easy on you. I've never got her flowers. Very nice day. Jacob, you call this spinach? Throw it back at you.

What is this? What is this, Phil? What did I do to make you hate me so much, Jackie? Jackie? What did Mama do to make you hate me so much Jackie? Jackie what what did mama do to make you hate him so why? Why do you why do you make me feel so bad? He's like oh god he goes I just tried to do my best to take care of you the best I could. Why do you hate me so much that you make me salty salty spinnage? My mom I called my mom and she was out at breakfast.

Yeah, she was like I'll call you another son dude. I don't know But I she was like I'll call you back and then she didn't call me back and then at like nine o'clock like nine o'clock our time I called her and she did the I could tell my mom's been drinking when she's picks up the phone and she goes What's up? It's hilarious. It was just like a simple like what's going on? It was like hey, what was up? You think she got some dayd?

I don't know. Honestly, I think so. Yeah, get some. I don't know dude, it felt, it felt, it felt discombobulated. We had like a three minute conversation where I was like yeah, all right. And she's like yeah, I was waiting for you to call me bash better than ever Yeah, she goes fucking walking weird, but that's like three pounds lighter on fluids. Yeah, why what's up with you? How's your mother's day going? There's a shit ton of protein and come what's up?

She goes I don't know it's like energy drink to me. I don't know is maybe the way I process in my metabolism I'm a tablet many wits going on with you. Oh, it is Mother's Day. Thanks, baby. I'll suckle down some tiger's milk. What's up? This young fella came over and it worked me over six ways from Sunday. But how was your Mother's Day? She goes, I think I'm getting 90 day fianceed, but, you know, I don't care. Esteban seems to like it here.

He's what this is. We are not only one very excited, of course, that our Black Lewis coming back live on Wednesday show. Our Black Lewis back, but it's our last week of a Brendan, the handsome sexy Brendan. Yeah, dude, we're gonna miss you, you hunk. Yeah, you're just stud. Really is like, can't say something and I mean this from the bottom of my heart. I do. I like you very, very much. Notice this doesn't mean at all, but I think it's unspoken.

None of us have had this discussion before, but as I think about it now, we're all going to agree. I think Jacob's excited to see you, Leif. I wasn't going to say it, but I'm glad you did because it's been palpable. It's been palpable. I mean, the way almost like he knows we had on my screen when we talk about you Brandon how great you are he just turns his nose down. He is does not like it me personally I went out and bought that print of that painting for everyone in the show

So they always look at it and remember our time and remember our Brendan Remember him living in that haunted 16th century house he lives in. I do. Before the ghost consumed him, but now he is home again. But I'm sorry, Brendan. Come Wednesday. It's time for the bonfire to get its groove back. We're going to groove back.

Dude, we took the trip to a room. And we're ready to get straightened out. Get back to work. We took the trip to a rubah and we're ready to get straightened out get back to work Our our tate digs is gonna come fucking read around our hips We didn't even have we didn't even have our one black person on the show here for the fucking Derek Chauvin Reading no of the of the thing. We just a bunch of white people sitting on here No, it's breathing. breathing and acknowledging of course it's cool you know justice is nice when you see it happens fair

we need black ludicom and soldiers join up school us stop that sad motherfucker he needs to teach us to roll our shoulders back yeah I need someone to really check me and make sure that I don't that I don't think it was a bad decision We need to do we need to do a Jacob and black Lou do a save the last dance where they teach you where he goes now you're getting it I got it. I'm gonna go black Lou. I was two weeks away from saying Derek Shovon was railroaded. Thank God you're back. Please my whole Opinions have changed. Oh, thank God you're here. I was about to say some crazy wild

shit. Jay was really drifting in the dark territory. Yeah. Did we look at all the good arrest that guy had? Oh my God. What am I saying? Let's come out of my mouth. Oh God. But Brendan, we want you to come into the studio when we are finally cleared to be together as a family. But I think is a fairness to be together as a family. But I think is a fairness to what's going on here, because as we go, we're getting into, we're going to finish right now, the brackets for the sweet 16.

We're down to 16 moms that are all smashable. We got tons of submissions. We went through them in the back. Thank you guys for pimping out your moms for a Monday radio bit very uh... very arbitrarily except the ones we already picked arbitrarily we got his went through and picked like i'm an adria you want to make just one thing you want to make it all moms and

bikinis you want to make it all that so sixteen of the most mashable moms to find out who is whose mother is most mashable moms to find out who is. Whose mother is most smashable? Who's the bonfire mama? And we're gonna give, and we're, your prize is a bucket for your kids to cry and while you go knees behind the ears for any old dude. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe It's a fucking video game rental now find a store. A fine a store you big.

Yeah, but I think we should let I think Brent that should be the tie break. I think it should be a yes, it should be a four full vote here. All five of us. I have a clear winner. And all right, Jacob, keep it in your pants. You know, Jacob for the Lord of God. Every one by the way, this is it. What he did was Jacob jerked off over all the pictures laid out on a bed and whatever ones his come hit.

And then he rolled around with paper mache paper mache. He just comes up with him like fuck when you roll something glittery glue. He came up with it. Which one he goes up looks like it was Nunez that stuck that brand new net stick to his back sweat and come stomach. Yeah, Jacob. What are you doing in there? I'm working to work prep roll it boy. I already cooked for you. I cooked for you. It's midnight days over bitch Your time's up. I'd say outside not under 10% 7% chance under 10 7% chance Jacob is his mother

Like second door debate style, but it's very low chance But if it's one of those things like if we found out in a few years that it was like we'll be like oh Yeah, you know what we never saw or Jacob would just eat things that he would make at home and say his mom made it for him We never saw this lady bring it in. We saw, I'll say, oh, I've seen in that house, Jacob. And I'm going to be honest with you in the background, the only thing I've seen, loose children. Never an adult. Loose children, Jacob, like you're holding some kind of a weird,

this is one of those porn houses from that documentary. Hot girls wanted. I'm going to make a promise right now that if I'm interviewed for the following Netflix documentary about Jacob being his mother, I'm gonna smoke during my interview, cigarettes. That's cool. So I can be like, I had no clue.

I had no clue what he was doing. You guys, you guys, you go as a bitch, kept it all hidden from us. I think I do you feel guilt and you go, so until I feel guilt on the sticks? I mean look at this I'm ripping heaters. Yeah, last time I was supposed to do this. I'm back on the I'm back on the cancer sticks. I'm killing. I tell you anything. I'm killing myself because I need a way out

because I didn't know all that was happening. That was fucking happening. Under our nose, we saw the girl. The little kid the little kid came in the room twice looking like she needed help I'm a Lee walked in the room and we did nothing Jacob just take him to shoot her out of the room get out of here go back to the play room Before I finish off your parents go make your wallets Jacob don't over I will I will kill your parents Sam Sam I will kill your parents. That's still so eerie

Also, cuz that guy's played so many other things I have a kill your parents Sam. Yeah, at least he's played so many pleasant things At least like Jack E. Earl Haley is always a fucking 3B There's a lot of anyone in a sitcom Threatening a child's parents is funny. It's funny 30 years later Dude, it's like the same show. That's what I'm saying we put a chill child through my parents didn't watch what I was watching But I was watching like the stuff that a kid should watch Yeah, you didn't have cable so I watched like different strokes Yeah, and it's like the week before episode was like the time Arnold tried to

To reach out to somebody famous to do his talent show at school with it. You know what I mean? Like just some stupid silly episode where he's trying to hide a bad grade. Arnold all the wackyness is like, then the next week like fucking Mr. Carlson kidnaps Dudley and him and touches Dudley's dick. He sucks Dudley's dick. He got Dudley.

He got, they made Arnold run away but Dudley got it. They just kept them on the show. When they were like blocking on the show when they When they were like blocking out the season and they go how do you guys want to do the episodes? What about four is Arnold with hiding the puppy and then we'll do the Sam getting fucked in five Then we'll do Sam getting kidnapped genuinely brought to like another neighborhood in home and his life and parents life threatened He goes oh kill your parents say okay you get this straight Sam this is your family from now on and stay away from that telephone

you step out of line just once you remember what I told you I haven't do I will kill your parents Sam you hear me and understand me. Yes, sir. Damn, dude. That was every sleepover. Dude, I mean, that's strong chance I was watching that, like, upside down on a couch with my head hanging up the couch. It's like a kid holding an ego waffle or something.

And it's like, I will kill your parents, Sam. You're an R family now and it's like oh my god. That's pretty wild. Probably for my dumbass, even register. I was just having like a guy fly around. I think Adam a friend of mine for since like grade school listens to the show He put something about it on Facebook or something he listens to the show a little bit Adam was the house though and you went We're like man the good toys are coming out. Oh really? Yeah, it was always to me The big one was Knight Rider. He had

Knight Rider before everybody. Can I tell you? Knight Rider was a biggie. That's a huge one. The car and Michael, the talking car and Michael, yeah. That was big. Great, great part about Jason's house was, I believe he listens to the show sometimes too. He is parents smoked inside. So when we started smoking, whenever I'd go home smelling like cigarettes, I'd be like, I was at Jason Poils. My mom would be like, okay, and I'd be like, yes.

Do it so fucking hilarious. Like your desires were for like to go to the house where it's like, oh man, you can get pussy when you're 13. They let you smoke pot and cigarettes inside. I was looking for the exact, for like to go to the house where it's like, oh man, you can get pussy when you're 13. They let you smoke pot and cigarettes inside. I was looking for the exact, there wasn't that chick going on my house smoking inside,

but cigarettes, but they're gonna take that going on my house. James St. Magasans, he was only smoking cigarettes. That was the only place. No, no, that's still pretty wild, though, for a kid to be smoking cigarettes that ages parents house. But I'm saying Adam Ronds house was, Adam Rond was like seven o'clock is like dinner time and mom made food. You know what I mean?

It was like I was looking for that like structure of like the downstairs was like a rec room for him to like play. Trish was always consistent about dinner home at 630 for dinner. I know. Gotta be home at 630. But we didn't have that. If we all had the same thing for dinner, it was shocking. Really? Yeah. Well, I mean, you guys had a much larger family. It was just me and my mom. So she would be like, and then, you know, a step-dad and then a boyfriend.

You went to a, it's such a story of the house, it's still like that. You came over to my mom's last time, Dan. Yeah. We were coming in and I had a delicious tuna sandwich I had a tuna hug you for you from Pat's also from Pat's I had cheese steak strumbullies then also my parents in order to pizza And I think my brother can like Taco Bell or something like yeah, no one's fat No one's fat like fat family at all so weird But yeah, I mean the houses that we could do like the bad shit at

This is when I was in middle school. And that was like up by the circle K. And we go, this girl Laura's house in them. Pretty sure her mom was a prostitute. I'm almost 100%. I think you said that before. She was a massage therapist. I was always giving, yeah, she was least given he just

100%. And we just go and she would let seventh graders in her basement just to smoke cigarettes and drink It was fucking crazy. Yeah, someone fucked there and never said it, but that's uh, but go me Yeah, that's pretty fucking great. Although it's what's funny is when I went to the houses that were I Went to them because it was great. That was my buddy Glenn's X Yeah, Glenn Glenn rules dude. Yeah, my buddy Glenn's great my My buddy, but his ex, you know, the mother of his kids, like her house was one of the ones we can go to

and you can kind of do anything. I think her dad went to jail at one point for something like some limo business fraud or something or I don't know what it was, but he went to jail in the time that we were like hanging out there and like, but they had a pool, they had an in-ground pool. That's awesome. And you could just kind of do what I think you could drink there for sure

You could definitely smoke pot there and cigarettes without a doubt But like they had a big St. Bernard that hated black people we found the hard way So they hit it black people my guess it has to be yeah, I mean we had I don't think dogs come over. I don't think dogs have opinions on race I think it's a super hard to man. I just bit his fucking stomach at a no or just my buddy Justin right It was so weird. I was like Justin almost had more of like a I've seen this before Mike really dude I'm exactly a thing dude like you know, it's funny is my little pop off just randomly just while I'm walking Sometimes like oh

Just start barking something if like a bag is being blown one time this black. I was crossing the street Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And most dogs are rescued from homicidal black people who killed dog dog side Dude you gotta watch that son's a sad documentary dude Good boys, but there's a somebody good boys, but yeah, there's a yeah that happened even being I loved hanging at that house Because anything good that's where like I fucked at that house before really how fresh finger at it Was that's how big was the house. How many bedrooms? I had enough for all the kids to have when there was like four kids. Day.

Maybe four or five. But it was like a huge house. It was like a modest home. It was just like, it was by my mom's house. Like that kind of place. Yeah. Just one of the ones that had single houses instead of townhouses.

But it was like, it wasn't like a huge like mansiony house. It wasn't nothing like that at all. It was just like. was the basement like two bedrooms Not even a basement Just upstairs maybe there was no basement. I was like two floors But maybe it was for better. I don't know but like whatever what also didn't matter because like there would be people It was like movie kids there be people sitting on the couch. That's how that girl Laura's house was And I have to night lot of shirtless skinny white guys

Just sleeping on a couch, dude. I just remember one time I still I told you about this I have a scar on my hand because I used to keep my cigarettes and an Eminem minis So that's how I'd hide them from my mom is I would have an Eminem minis and put like five cigarettes that I'd steal And then just have it and then I was sitting in that girl's basement lighting it on fire because I was out of cigarettes and the plastic dropped on me and it burnt me I left a scar and while that was happening all of a sudden this cat Chaos broke out because someone popped her water bed downstairs So it was like leaking water and everyone's like It was like that energy of like teenagers be like that the fucking I was like

I'm just all scared What's going on? Well, what I was saying, that was the house where, yeah, that was the one where I was fingering the girl, getting ready to have sex with her, and then like the sister, I told you this story, the cleanse exes girl, like sister came in and changed her panties in front of all of us, and then left again, she was so hot. I completely remember that story.

And then I go back to the girl and I thought we were gonna start getting back to start and then I was going and then I go back to the girl And I thought we were gonna start getting back to starting the fuck and then she was like I don't want to do it She was kind of loud and like weird does it just a matter? All right, but my excellent that was at that house heroin the coal I fuck there And like people fuck there was it was just like That house but even liking being there and taking part in some of the debauchery I didn't smoke potter cigarettes that point yet, but we're drink, but like

Even that there I'd still have like my inner fucking Jewish asshole kid would just be there. It's like you people a low class Couldn't wait to be there, but I'm like wouldn't be my I go I'd be humiliated to be from this Do you mind if I ask why you didn't put out a spread? I mean there's more than three people over here There's something to do. They were also like pretty generous people. They were sweet people I just think I just don't agree with that decision. I'm just I'm making a joke that I was that big Even that age I was like man. I'm glad I'm not from the house where it's like anything goes sort of like I just like I'm so weird to me see I could argue that I'm from the house where it's like anything goes sort of like it's just like it's weird to me. See I could argue that I'm from the house where anything goes but not anything. My mom was like I told you she. No rape. I know her one rule.

What a stickler to because there were some times where we really could have took some but there was a... Well you like mom even date rape and she was like come on what does that even mean? She's like date rape. No you take the girl out you bought a nice meal. All right you shut your mouth. Do what you got to do. You come home. But she was cool with a smoking weed in the garage. That was the rule.

Like you could smoke weed in the garage. Just no one can drive. And it was always like sure. Yeah, I don't know. Still great. It was great. It was great. Having that open up at 16, my junior year at high school, I was like, Pfff.

Yeah, Isabella was, Isabella was at Skanks last week and saw me smoke pot. It was weird. How'd you feel? We talked about it. How'd you feel, did she bring it up at all?

No. Did you say anything? No. Did you feel more, you know when you see your family in your high and you're like fuck I'm fucked up I'm fucked whenever I go to my grandma's and I take a drive and I smoke weed and I come home if she's up I'm always like I'm fucking ripped she knows I'm ripped really I don't know if I get it I just don't feel like I wear it that much but it is now for me wasn't that it was just like doing it at all

I'm just like Did you look over as you inhaled like now like before I would and it's almost just like I swear at all. I'm just like, did you look over here? How's he inhaled? Like, now like before I would. And it's almost just like, I swear to you, like I don't know, like here's the thing. She's not in here right now at all. So I'm smoking while we're doing the show. You know what I mean?

But like, she's gonna be here for a couple of weeks and like, I think I'm just gonna go outside. Are you? Because that's how I'm gonna manage. It's weird. You're going outside, You're like in public. To me, that would make me know. Not outside out here. It's not like, I didn't crazy like that. I'm just saying like, I don't know, man. It's just like, I'm just picture.

Whatever it is, dude, I didn't line up my dad, you know, even like the things that would be cool, like holding a little tiny bit of joint in the last year. It's tips you're going to be pulling like that. Yeah, you know, I mean, we're like the the the cherries facing in towards your palm. Like watching just my visions of him doing that like aren't positive. Do you know, I mean, I just saw it and I was just like they're all negative because of course I was like, I'm like, good dad.

I'm like, should you be doing this while you're driving, dude? And it's almost like I'm sure he could find. I'm sure it wasn't. It's just like, you're just like, I don't know. I'm just a kid and it feels weird that you are Dude the thing that you don't realize is like what you're talking about when I was back at my grandma's house She's kept all my dad's stuff. She's never thrown my dad's stuff out in this like guest room. There's like Fucking drawers filled with shit. That's like his personal paperwork Do my dad had so many DU eyes and I had zero idea

Like my dad had fucking do's and then I'm so remember it's like yeah, dude He probably absolutely drove hammered with me in the car like I There's you don't die at cirrhosis at 48 and you were fucking not hammered when your kid was you know There's a lot of people a lot of people gave me rods when I was a kid with a brown paper bag wrapped around a can. Dude, I remember my dad pulling over. Not my dad, my dad wasn't a drinker, so not him, but just like people for sure. I just remember going from Lake County to the Sacramento Airport when I was like 12 and

my fucking dad pulled over and him and Jim bought beers at the gas station and then just drank them and then got back to the car and drove me to the airport. He pulled over for a beer, dude. Like while they're a gas station beer, that's a fucking move. What a shit bag move. Also while he was drinking it, he goes, this is colder than the other side of my ex-wife's bed.

And I was like, Joe sleeps there now. That's also like a beer owned. So I was like, Joe sleeps there now. That's what I'm gonna be of your own. So it's like your former best friend sleeping there. So he's keeping it warm. Yeah, trust me. Don't worry, Pop. He's got noises filling the house, Dad.

It's cool. That'll just drive me towards a drinking problem. You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM! you