The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Holding Hands and Praying

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

Jay tries to cheer Bobby up by doing shoulder dances made famous by P Diddy. Bob was in Florida for gigs with Mike Calta and was asked to join a prayer circle in public. Jay is getting fond of certain A.I. videos that show grandmothers getting thrown through a wall. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Man, say what you will, but I agree with you, Bobby. Diddy can do no wrong in my eyes. Now, I stopped keeping up with him in about 2015. Has there been any new news? No, he's pretty much doing the same stuff, just, you know, making good music. Ain't going nowhere? Having great parties.

No, he's not going anywhere. He's a bad boy for life. He's only going somewhere for, I think, a few. months but he'll be back no he's going for four years yeah serve time baby i want to hear i want to hear some beats i don't think that's happening what i think he's going to go for four years i was just joking jay i joke and then you go with me and then we i was what's the joke you just saying the wrong time i was just joking it was a fucking joke i think you're calling mistakes jokes no it wasn't a mistake it was just a few months it was a cute little joke i thought you're gonna

yes am me but you're fucking investigating again what could i have done with that. Well, just go with it. I don't know. Throw it up. You're a professional. Yeah, a few months. Yeah. Black Lou? Your thoughts? Fuck you. Hey, they're not all winners, Jay. You know, it's Monday, baby.

Yeah, but if you didn't call it out, everyone just would have thought we, that you had, maybe you had the date from the time. I'm in a bad mood. Why? I know. I'm going to fucking bad mood because I was fucking pedi and four came in. Oh, yeah, your happiness. Your Monday fucking joy is bugging me. Uh, uh, uh, going nowhere. Huh? Why are you in a bad mood? Is it Jacob's shit again for a change?

No, it's not Jake. Jacob's face doesn't help when he shows up. Hi, Bob. It looks like he is upset with you when you first come in. Yeah, when he comes in. I'm in a slightly less good mood since I came in this room and saw Jacob than I was, but I'm still in a good mood. I feel like Jacob looks all the time. Really?

Yeah. Why? Not that bad. Not that bad. Okay, good. Don't be concerned. That seems like I'm worried about you. No, it was a fucking, you know, you ever just wake up and it's like, ugh.

You know, my wife's voice was, she just has a tone. Everything is a fucking tone. Oh, you're happy, it's sicks me. Makes me sick. I'm trying to cheer you up. No, it doesn't cheer me up. It can't be stopped, y'all, because it's bad boys for life. Your shoulder dancing is not helping.

We ain't. It's helping. It's helping. It's helping. It's helping. We can't be stopped now because it's bad boys for life. Big boy dancing's helping. We're almost getting Jacob

Bad boys for life You got Jacob, you got me You got everybody to smile No way We and Christine was almost late Go nowhere Is this cheer you up though And can't be stopped now

Because it's bad boy for luck You weren't late almost But you were stressed I was stressed DJ Lou I don't have to cheer you up But it just does put you even in a better mood doesn't it We can't be stopped now Yeah you just dance with me

Boas for live. These fucking honkies don't know good music. That's right. The special coffee I brought you from New Orleans didn't help? It cheered me up. And when you said it was for you and Dawn, it bummed me out. Oh, yeah, that voice. You guys love it.

Oh, the lady with the voice from your house? You have to share with her. It's just, it's a, let me tell you something. You woke up. You wanted to hit Dawn. No, I don't want to hit her. I love Dawn. I love her so much. But you know this from having a child. Now your child's older. It's like, it's just, it's just things, your whole day can go to fucking shit in five seconds.

And then you're wearing about this, you got to take care of that, and then this, and then back on the road, I got to go down to Tampa. And then the club was like, hey, dude, fucking plug the thing. And all right, dude, could you do something, too? Could you, you know, a lot of shit. A lot of stuff happened. This is the owner of side splinters? I'm going there as soon. Is it bad?

He's the best. BT's the best. But it's like, you know, I don't know what to tell you. you you know because I'm burning a bridge with the improv down there you should this club is the best club in the world it's one of my favorite clubs world top four clubs in the country I would say it's I'm telling you gonna how much is Jay gonna love this club

I just really think you are even the way the room set up it has that like cornered thing like comedy works every single seat is is kind of like right at you you're the focal point and the ceiling's a low as shit the stage isn't too big it's not too high. Will it support this move? Lou, hit that song again for me again. Look at that smile. Go when nowhere. We ain't going nowhere. Pig boy shoulders.

We can't be stopped now because it's bad boys for life. Bobby in Tampa. Can you send me? Can you? Hang with Mike Alta. Yeah. And that girl with a butthole. Tattoo. Carmen Can you Can you send me this video So I can play it in the morning

Go nowhere We can't be stopped Even with Dawn's awful voice It's not her voice It's her tone Do you know what I'm sexy Your son's masturbating Ooh

Give me that again I mean it's not sexy Yeah there you go What's wrong with that tone Do you understand tone Like does Christine it's like if you ask a question and her tone is like like you asked it 55 times I mean you did kiss her you're asking if kissing her belly sexy is not it would be like her coming in and grabbing our

tit from underneath no she likes it give you like a tit flap like this underneath she likes it she like when she's had a belly your whole life I told you she's the bottom of the pyramid she's never not had a belly I like her little belly I feel like you getting bummed out again Lou hit the music please get him for me because I'm trying to tell you what happened and you're not listening. You're just giving me shoulders. I'm trying to cheer you up. No, I don't want to be cheered up. I want you to be a friend right now. Is this not being a friend? Yeah, it is. It kind of is.

We can't be stopped now because it's bad boys for life. I don't know why that works. I don't understand it. Christine just did it. I do too. We ain't go nowhere. We can't be stopped now because it's bad boys for life. You don't have to move at all, just the shoulders. It's good for you too. Why is that good for you?

You're moving your body, shoulder shugs. That's a workout. What's going on? Nothing, buddy. Dawn's voice, Max, something bad with Max? He got a concussion today at school. That one of his lesson? He guess he was playing at recess playing rugby.

I don't know what the hell of that. Who's letting that go down? Pick up rugby? I've never even fucking heard of that. Recess rugby. And then back to class? Enter some light rugby, a scrum? And then I guess he went head to head with the kid and he got a concussion.

No, no. It's a coutona, Jay. Yeah, I just know. He said he went head to head, though, and he got a concussion. I thought maybe it was black because their heads are harder. No, that's not true. It's not? No, I don't think so.

Oh, no. Ask Rock. I've couldn't believe everything. Are there penises bigger? still? Yes, 100% bigger. Okay. Max got a big piece, though. Yeah, he... You know, it's going to be at some point where you've got to stop telling us that.

I'm going to show you it right now. I have a picture of it on my phone. I have a picture of it. Hey, but this is a good point where we're going to thinking, are you loving this kid or you're loving this kid? Dude, dude, Matt, has such a great dick, dude, it was nice. I didn't say it like that. I just said he has a really nice cock. Dude, the pink parts are pink. The peach parts are peach. It is a good color.

stop all right well we'll stop for CPS comes in here yeah he uh well she she called me he called me and I'm like what the fuck and then he's telling me all this stuff that's happened but you know you gotta take it with a grain of salt when your kids telling you a story because you're like dude you're sort of lying for sure yeah so then and then she gets on the phone and she's just I'm like, what happened? She's like, he was playing rugby. Like, what he told you?

It's like, whoa, shut. What the fuck is that? Like, what do you? You know, it was just like that. And then I kind of get aggressive. And I get emotional hangovers. I hate when she gets me, when she gets me to be, like, mad back

because I have to apologize. I don't think she's ever apologized to me, ever. So I was like, I'm sorry for fucking heaven, a tone. Can we try something here? Yeah. Now, Jacob annoys a shit. Are you probably more than Dawn?

Way less. Way less. Maybe way less than dawn. I would love it. If me and Jacob were gay, I would move you into my house in two seconds. I get whatever dog you want. I want to do a reenactment. I want to see if we could find.

Because, Bobby, really the thing is here, you need anecdotes. You need anecdotes. You need anecdotes that are going to get you out of that. Because you said, right there you go, I got aggressive back. And then you're jumping the gun, and then it starts going. Then the day starts taking a shit. Now, for the sake of argument here, Can you have maybe the argument you were going to have with Dawn with Jacob?

Yeah. And then I'm going to see if I can put something in your mind that will change that while it's happening, where it changes the way you approach it. Okay. Okay. I'm willing to, this is the good part about me. I'm willing to try to change. I don't even know if you have to do so much changing.

I just want to see if I could change your approach to how. It's great. Before you get to yelling and barking yourself. Yeah. this might let's see if this helps go on uh jacob what would you like jacob to say is dawn what really gets under your fucking skin my voice also resembles don the most what is she doing is don't gonna be like uh

what's the things dawn would say bobby stop fucking telling all your friends about our son's dick no no no she doesn't know about that and i wish you would stop bringing that up i mean i told you about it stop writing sonnets for your friends about your son's dick um all right this is what i want you to say I don't know. I just say, I don't know. That's the tone. I don't know.

All right, hang on. Wow, you got it. Let's do the actual, let's do the concussion fight. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. I'll be max. I don't know. I don't know.

It's what he just, he told me what. Well, let me be max first. Let's build to it. I got to tell him what he's got to say, Jay. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were doing the scene. No, I'm not doing the scene. Well, we started playing the scene music.

Well, I'm a professional actor, and I don't perform until I hear action. You know what I mean, okay? Yeah. I know what I'm doing. You know what? I just snapped at you and I apologize. That's fine. It's all right.

I don't know. Shut up. I don't know. Fuck off. Not yet. Are you guys doing the thing? He's doing it, but he's agon. Shut up.

I want to hit him. You have to stop. You have to wait for your lines. You're doing good. This is what he needs. It might be what he needs. All right. I don't know.

Bring it down just a little. Oh, his face is stuck out. He just looked at me with disgust. Oh, wow. Okay. Jacob, you're good. It's, I don't know, he told, I know what he told you, he told me the same thing. So, whatever he's, you know, that's what you're going to say.

Ready? Go ahead, Max. Yeah, I was, so, I played rugby. Well, what happened? I don't know, I was playing rugby. And then I went head to head with this black kid and they have very hard heads. No, no, no. They have harder heads than us.

No, you're going to cut that. Just a kid, just a regularly kid. Okay. There's no black kids. Okay. That's the old school. A child of color? No, that was the old.

Old school. Just say another kid. Okay. Yeah, ready to. Got you. Hey, what's up, Max? I think I got a concussion. Hang on, let me add this in. Hey, what's up, Max? I just got done with the regs dealing with Lewis J. Gomez. Oh, so you're probably already on one.

Let me guess, was he late and somehow mad at you? I guess what I tried to call you for. Me and Lewis had a doozy this weekend, too, for a second. Sorry, sorry, back in the character I'm talking to him after the show He goes, walk me to the car and tell me So I'm walking him, having this serious conversation About a special

And then he goes to his car He goes, all right, dude, I'm in the middle of the thing Like I'm not even done And he goes, all right dude And he gets in his car He goes, I'm not He just wanted me to walk him to his fucking car Okay, so let's not

All right, you know what? It's like I could have called you You know what? This is a little bonus now Let's see if we could have changed the course of your day altogether. Okay. Okay, I'll be Lewis. No, no, no, I can't be.

I can't be Lewis at all. It doesn't work like that. Jacob's got to be both. Have Christine be Lewis. She's in touch with who Lewis is. She knows exactly what we're talking about. No, she does, but she doesn't see where he's wrong. She doesn't understand why you are complaining about that you got some time with him

before he had to go do something else. Yeah, I agree with him. Where he made me walk him to his car? Yeah, yeah. So I was radio. It's a fucking eight minutes And then I had to go back to where I originally was This is, same as Lewis

Yeah She only thinks Lewis is wrong When it's like against her Right, okay, okay, you're right Yeah, but let's, we should start this back at Lewis though, you're getting the thing with Lewis So who's gonna, I think Jacob will be Lewis Okay

Give him like a... I thought, um, just a suggestion Because DJ Lou drinks body brain that he could do Lewis So I'm really I'm in character doing Don right And I feel... Yeah, but the thing about him is I need him or else I can't run the thing I'm trying to do here.

Fair enough. Yeah, so if you wouldn't mind, just, you know... So what do I say is Lewis? Really honest to God, I just go, blah, blah, blah. Doggy. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Doggy. Walk me to my car, doggy.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, perfect. No, ask me a question. And then as I'm telling you the answer to it, go, walk me to the car, doggy, tell me on the way. And then when we get to your car, Which is a... When are we record in the regs next week?

Welcome me to my car. All right. Well, I think what we got to do... What time? We're going to make... I'm telling you, if you let me finish. We're going to get there. We got to make sure...

Just sit in the car with me. What? No. Just sit in the car with me. I don't. I got to go. Let me finish what I was saying. Let's fucking talk.

Let's sit in the car with me. Whatever, dude. Jesus. Whatever. Goodbye. I'll talk to you later. Goodbye. Bobby.

Bobby's doing his therapy whistle Jay has one of those at home I feel like it works I'm calming I feel better Okay now I don't know You get through the The one thing

All right now I'm Max right Yep Okay I got to ask me with Hey man what's up buddy What's going on I got a concussion at school How?

I went head to head with this kid playing rugby What? Yeah, another kind of kid And They were And you know, like you've told me You said, you know, this is behind closed doors talk They have harder heads

No, I said Okay, Max just And you were right again Dad looks like you were right and I was wrong again I said everyone was equal But these other kinds of kids have hard heads man like dangerous

don't say that out loud you want to talk to mom yes let me put on that mom okay hang on mom here it's dad hello what happened I don't know he told me the same thing

I got to stop I gotta stop that's too good I don't know no fuck stop stop talking so what are you asking me for oh my god he's too good oh you heard him talk to your son

Doesn't that feel good If that's in your head When you get out you can't be upset Just me popping in behind Max While he's talking that shit I'm not a good Lewis Gomez I admit that But I can I feel such

So locked in with dawn You're a world-class dawn Yeah you're a good bitch You really are She was like I don't know I don't know he told I don't know

Yeah, but he told me, but did you talk to the principal? Yeah. You did? Yeah? What do you say? They got into a fight. You got hit by the kid. What else you want me to tell you?

Well, is the other kid okay? I don't know. I didn't ask. Yeah, Dad, they're fine. Their heads are really hard. Max, stop it. Stop. Max.

Everything sucks. I wasn't there. All right. Fine. Why are you talking to me? What the fuck are you talking to me like that for? Well, what are you asking me stupid questions for? It's not a stupid question. It's a fucking question.

Then say, Dad, don't swear it, Mom. Dad, don't swear it, Mom. You see what you did? Okay. Dad, stop fucking swearing at Mom. All right. Hey, Max, stop swearing. All right, okay. I'm going to go. Dad, I'm going to go kiss one of my friends. What?

It's a guy. Oh, see what you did. Bye. Oh, my God. Hey, hey, Jay. What's up? Then we come in with your fucking dumb shoulders going up and down. I got to go.

Bye. I think I can... Hang on. Oh, you just feel the music. Play it louder. I legit want one of those whistles. I feel it looks so therapeutic. Wow, it does work.

You have to do it with the shoulder dance. Yeah. Anyways, just trying to show you some love, dude Let me tell you something I had such a great weekend too, dude Yeah? I had a fan, yeah, dude I could, I wish Mike wasn't married

And I wasn't married I'd move in with him We are two fucking lazy Fucking chubby dudes in a pod Yeah You have the time your sleeps together Because I bet the snoring in that house Would be world fucking like top notch

Yeah, it's bad Like a room rock Oh my God, yeah He actually has the wing of his house The Cepap wing As what we call it seepab wearing and he has the whole thing like he he has like a you know a jet fighter pack on his face christ almighty yeah um we this is funny tell me what you think about this we were uh in punta

ponte goader i believe it's called punta goad and it's south two hours away from tampa that sounds like a like a fat mexican stripper punta gota and uh i'm walking around on saturday and there's this beautiful farmer's market it's like 830 in the morning morning and it's all over town it's like everywhere you go there's little shop set up and i'm saying you know good morning hello good morning i mean 85 times in 20 minutes did i say good morning hello everybody's smiling everybody's it's like i'm like this is so like amazing the west coast the west coast paradise apparently looks like it was such a beautiful place and then i'm buying mango i bought a little i bought and then i'm looking around i'm like oh my god this is the last

episode of of peasemakers it's like there's not one ounce of anybody except it's all white people i look over i'm literally on a bench drinking this beautiful coffee that this guy makes white coffee and uh and i have mangoes i have dried mangoes wait a white guy gave you mangoes yeah white guy gave I mean, a white guy, wait a minute, a white guy. You don't even have slaves in this point? A white guy gave me a Vietnamese shrimp summer roll. Awful. It was awesome.

It was so awesome. And I'm sitting on a bench watching this one white dude sing folk music. I'm like, this is like, this is a multiverse right now. Yeah. It's crazy. All the dogs were like, everybody had a dog. Mother nature. They were all doodles, but not one dangerous.

looking dog. Mother nature and God will eventually remind you a couple of years, though, why you can't live there. Yeah. So I'm walking around. By destroying everything you own. Mike comes through, and now we're walking, and this really bothered Mike.

But I didn't care. But it's probably, I think it will bother you too. You think it's fucked up. But these two guys, they kind of look like Jacob. Unattended, retarded kids? No, no, no, no. Because that is my one thing. I mean, that is...

It's my one line. Unsupervised, retarded kids. Especially eating ice cream. So, Jacob's there. Like, these two guys like Jacob, right? Come up to me. Oh, God, like Jacob. And he just goes, hey, how are you?

And he should put his hands out. I shook his hands, you know, eye contact. Other guy shook my hand. He's like, hey, how you doing? He said, how you doing time? We're great, man. And now, mind you, I've already gone through this whole thing where everybody's the nicest people in the world.

So I'm just like, these guys are nice. and then he goes Hey man Could I say a prayer for you And I just went Yeah sure go ahead And he goes Anything you want me to pray for you know

I go yeah say a prayer for my son He's 12 he's a great kid doing great But you know I know the years coming up Is going to be tough at that 13th 14th I go throw me in there if you want And Mike is like appalled So they

But now here's what happened We all hold hands in the farmer's market in the aisle and they just start praying they start praying you know Lord Jesus please I pray for and they're going over their prayers is this

they're just saying a prayer for Max and me and watch over Max and Robert and you know they keep Bobby in the circle also no he's not there Christ thank God you brought him up no he wasn't there was just me but you brought him up to the prayer guys I just said you want to say a prayer who do you want me to say a prayer for I said, hey, say prayer for my kid and look over him or whatever, you know, they throw me in there.

You will give anybody so much information. Hey, my kid, because he's home right now by himself. And then they start saying the prayer, and now they grab my hand and they want to hold a prayer circle in the middle of the farmer's market. He's running this thing, Dane Cook. And I don't, like, Mike was walked by. He goes, you're a frigging maniac. He was so appalled by it Yeah, I would be too

But I know you're But I would also expect you to Jump into this prayer circle for sure Bobby does love God I tell you to that Bobby likes getting in Bobby likes get in on it He will, Bobby jumps in on the thing He's the guy who will talk to the Uber driver

Sorry What? I'm like it wasn't a con Like they didn't try to get No money from you Nope, nope They just said a prayer And they said hey thank you very much

Have a great day I was like alright take care Through a piece Put a piece of mango on my mouth And I walked away Talk about every reason to not moved to this place. Everybody's probably going to be stopped for a little street prayer.

Hold hands with a bunch of fucking weird strangers. Mike was right. You're wrong. Mike was, but look it, here's the thing. I wish I fucking Jetsky would have pulled it and fucking fanned out some water on top of all you guys. But I'll tell you this. Later, later that day, we went fishing and guess who caught a big fat bass? You?

Yeah. Guess what Mike caught? Lugats So the prayer Is that a dead informant for the mafia? No, that means nothing. Oh. It ain't catch nothing.

And he just sat there, sad, and, you know, the Lord Jesus Christ gave me a bass. It really is the only sport where catching a fish or not catching a fish are the same exact boring. That hurt.

Full success and lack of success is the same exact. Can we go home now? I love fishing. I watch a guy catch a bass once. See, you don't know how great it feels to hook one and to reel it in. No, you're right. I went on that thing with birthday, went out and caught some, like, fish, some big fish.

They pulled them in. And I think all the times they were like, you want to wrestle this thing? And I was like, no, you guys are doing great. I love fishing. I love it. It's so relaxing. Just sitting there, beautiful out. It was nice.

It wasn't hot. It wasn't cold. Did you cook the bass? No, you don't. I'm a lip herder, dude. I hurt lips and put them back. Catch and release. Catch and release.

And you just hurt them like. that? Yeah, just a lip. Just rip their lips apart. A little lip, throw them back in. What if it goes and, like, pulls their eye out or something? Then you fucking... What do you do? Just put it back in? Yeah. You just mangled it and put it back in? No, an alligator will eat it, or some bird will just grab. An eagle

will take, a lot of eagles down. When you accidentally kill a fish and it does if they swallow the hook? Yep. And you rip their guts out, trying to take it out. Yeah. You just say, well, an animal's going to eat it. That's how you... That's how you justify it. I don't realize you guys use fucking Native American ideals when you guys do all this I hate when it happens but it it does happen

sometimes but listen the prayer thing I'm not I don't it doesn't it's not it's not like a I don't think it's a bad thing I mean am I going to sit there am I going to sit there and pray with people I don't care they think I'm not going to be like hey will you guys pray with me I wasn't saying anything I wasn't like Jesus Christ you're going to help me you're going to change your route though sometimes he goes maybe the guys are doing the prayer circle right now I'll swing around this direction I know but What would you say if the guy was like, let me pray for you? I would have fun.

Mike said the same thing. I mean, I don't care for you. I appreciate that. But if he wanted to hold your hand and pray for you? No. Why would you? Why? I just say, I had to go.

I don't have time right now. There's always time for God. No. Yeah, he's everywhere. He's going to be where I'm going. I'm actually meeting with him. I'm going to be late. You're meeting God right now?

For God. You're meeting, where are you meeting? Do you mind if we come? Oh, no. I know you can't come. Why can't we come? We love God. Because it's very reservation heavy.

It's at Del Frisco's. We're meeting for lunch. You're meeting God for lunch at Del Frisco's? Del Frisco's. He likes the trio of dipping sauce. Oh, you mean Del Frisco Grill? Yeah, Mike was so freaked the fuck out about it. Well, I wouldn't be freaked out about it because I know you're doing it to be funny.

Unless you were emotional, then I'm freaked out about it. I just don't see the heart. It doesn't bother me. It's not a weird thing to me. You're just praying that good things happen. It's not weird to you, that people have outside prayer out of nowhere. Did I feel it? Were you, like, into it?

No, he was. He was. Like, it was, like, it was, like, a genuine moment. No, I'll be. Bobby cannot wait to start wearing Swami clothes. Did they know you? They knew you were. No, that's the worst part when he goes,

hey dude I thought he was going to be like coming to your show tonight and he was like can I say a prayer for you when I was like all right yeah old Bobby's gonna start bowing the people I thought they came up to you because they knew you no they didn't know me so they just said total strangers hey how are you well I get this has happened to me before this happened to me in Maine Portland Maine time for the prayer circle in Portland Maine these this group of people me and Max were hanging out it was 1230 at night We left the hotel to go get a slice of pizza. They have an awesome pizza place open over there.

We were at the, what is that club up there? You played it, right? Epic's or, no. Empire. Empire. Great club. So me and Max, we go out every night. We went out, we're hanging out eating pizza. I mean, having, like, the best dad.

We're just looking at drunk kids, you know, 20-year-olds, just being fucking maniacs, laughing our asses off, just, you know, making fun everybody walking by. And then a group of people walked by, all kind of, a little older, some young, you know, it was like, and they walked by us. They're like, hey, how are you? And they just came over. And they were like, hey, we're here, you know, we're going around, making sure people are okay and blah, blah, blah.

And they were like, oh, I was like, oh, that's cool. You let them surround you and your boy? But then they go. Too late if they were good guys or bad guys. They go, do you mind if we say a prayer for you guys? And I was like, but it's 12.30 at night. Everybody around us is even a cult. No, they're not good Catholics, Christians.

You met a cult. Christians. And then they said... Whatever the basis of their cult is, sure. They said it... I go, yeah, I'd say a prayer. And they said a prayer... Hamana, Hamah, ha, ma'ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I did look over at maximum point, and he was just sitting there, like, looking at me, like, what the fuck is going to? What the fuck are you into? Why are you making me protect me from this? Also, Bobby. Don't engage me with it. Protect me from it. But here's a thing. I didn't ask, I didn't ask, it's not like I'm asking the quote, but they just caught us.

they caught me I think Bobby's got a car full of those CDs from those Times Square black dudes that hand you a CD in a big This is my music This is my music though Oh you're just gonna take that CD You're not getting into that nation

If you Google that Like just online it says that It is a potential scam I think most people that are asking people To pray on the street Are trying to distract to rip them off somehow To get money out of me Or to rob somebody or they

You know they'll have like two people Stand in a prayer circle with you And then if you have stuff sitting down somebody else like takes all that stuff no these guys do it door to door too no these guys were old white people they weren't oh those are never scammers yeah they're not they're not they're scammers they're not robbers they'd scam me out of my money berny made off yeah yeah yeah it was 1230 at night they're not gonna steal my fucking stupid main shirt that i have in a bag in my slice of pizza that was late yeah they were walking around making sure people were all right was it's like

a community group thing that they formed. Colt. I don't think so. I don't know. I mean, it was just a prayer. I don't care. Religion is making a big comeback. Nothing to sideswipeak people in the middle of the night with prayer.

Hey, I'm here to make sure you're okay. Pray with me. But the prayer isn't like, it's just, hey, watch over, it may protect, may they be all right, and, you know, may good things happen. I hope they get home safe tonight. That would be funny. At the end of the prayer, they said some weird shit that made you go, what? Nothing.

The night one would freak me out. The spirit of Satan will resurrect you. What? Have a great night, guys. Hey, wait a minute. What did you just say? Your son's very special. What are you talking about?

Hey, I have to blow in his nostril for a second. What? Max is never the same. Now he causes concussions on the black kids. Sorry, the other kids. Thank you. Thank you, Jay. I don't care

Would you think that Black Lou Would you think that was weird? Hell yeah, that's weird That's fucking weird He gets really black I don't try to hold my hand either What?

Don't try to hold my hand either I know that part freak me up I'm glad you're boy Didn't have to see that I'm glad Mike left you He walked by me And where's Bobby? I left him down at the pier

Holding hands with guys Talking about God and his son Mike was so fucking weirded up He walked by me He goes you're fucking crazy And he just kept moving Yeah Well, you're right.

It was a little weird, but it was just a prayer. Would you let it happen, Jacob? Yeah, I would have done it. Yep. With the Christians to Jesus? Well, I didn't, I just would have taken it like they're, they mean well. They're doing a nice thing for me. Jacob would convert to a fucking Muslim if a fucking five-foot-two girl asked them to.

If a five-foot-two hot chick asked you to, you fucking... Keep going. more please just a little fucking five-foot-two bombshell can get jacob to fucking be wearing robes and all kinds of shit i would think that we're doing a pilgrimage to the motherland i i think it weirds them out a little bit when i when i when they were like hey can we see a prayer for you i was like yeah good do you think and they were like they grabbed my hand i was like yeah take my hand and i was just like looking at him like let's go what do you got it's like the josephous witness and i was like and i was like thanks fellas Have a great day.

You would let people touch your face in front of your son. I don't like holding hands, so that would have been a problem. I don't mind. You can hold my hand. I don't care. I don't mind holding hands if that's like a prayer, whatever prayer things happening, people you know, funeral, whatever. But that's on the street with strangers.

Yeah, the nighttime one was a little weird. But this one was just in the middle of a far as market around, you know, in the morning. They're all psychotic. Oh. I mean, yeah, I guess. mind it throw a little prayer go pray go pray baby and we pray what's that hammer song pray pray yeah yeah do you know what the background that is what is what's the beat they're using the background I don't know what is it oh let me see if I can so it's salt and pepper

What is it? I have no idea. Oh. Oh, that's Purple Rain. No, um, Prince. It's what it sounds like when... When dubs cry. Yeah.

I never heard that. That's crazy. This is why I am so good at rock and roll jeopardy. Nobody will challenge me. I'll challenge you. It says we pray. Pray. I, um...

Pray. sexy ass jacob pray what was that girl the soccer player when he flipped out trinity rod oh it was the worst i should bring a prayer circle into calto when i do calta oh my god you should i should bring them with yeah he did um i have no memory anymore either dude i can't

he's not religious at all no he's like you you guys are the same fucking person You and Calder are the same guy He knows trivia, all that He retains information like that But refuses to acknowledge the Lord Christ Yeah, he's Italian, Irish He, yeah, he came up to me after him and was a paul He was like, what the fuck are you doing?

I'm like, it was just a prayer. Don't get mad at me. It was more than a prayer, Bobby. It was a hand-holding session with strange men. How do you get out of it? In public. How do you get out of it? Don't. How do you get out of it?

Like this. Ugh. No. Take both your hands and you go, oh, what are you guys doing? Don't fucking just touch me. Yeah, but I don't, here's the thing. What if, what if. That was the prayer that saved you?

Yeah, what if that was, what if God did that and God saw that and, yeah. What if Satan put him in your path to prove a point? We could do hypotheticals all day long. Let's do some. You're zero prayer. You would, you would never, you wouldn't never pray. You don't pray. I do not, no pray.

No, I never pray. Never. Oh, that's not true. in times of major, major crisis. When was the last time you prayed? But I've never kept any kind of a promise. You only talk to God when you need a favor? Yeah.

I should write that down. No, no. No, no, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay. I don't speak to God when I need a friend. Guy. Buddy? I need a... Bobby, please.

I know, but... You're fucking with the writing process. You're a writer, dude. You know this. I know, dude. I only talk to God when I need a favor. I'm sorry, Jay. Well, I need a friend.

And then I think the guitar would be like, bang, wham, why did you batheed you back a dick of bow? Dude, I should get face tattoos. Bobby, please. I need to, yes, Henry now. This is brainstorming right now. I get you, buddy. I just want to, if I could just tell you something real quick.

Go on. It's fine. I've got to write his block anyway. Go on. Jelly roll already made this song. No, but not the way I just did it, right? Exactly the way you just did. Identical, you say.

Identical, yes. Okay, I'm going to argue and say maybe I heard it. Okay. That may have influenced me a little bit. You know what? I'm not going to fucking have this thing jammed up in court forever. I'm just going to bow out gracefully and say, never mind. But, yes, I also, in fact, only thought of God running favors.

What was the last time during the flood in Long Island? Did you talk to God? When? A rubber broke on the road? Please, Jesus. Kill my jizz now. No, I don't know. It's not even praying, just like talking to the ether, I guess.

For what? What was it for? I don't know. I'm saying I talk out loud to myself a lot. Are you God? No, no, no. Are you the God? But I'm saying I'm talking to something, right?

I'm talking to something. Do you call him Jay? No, no, no, no, no, no. You've got to help me out of the jam, man. No. I talk out loud to myself. Right. Third person.

Can you show me an example? No. Just a little bit. It's not going to be talking to myself. I'm not, uh, no, I don't. don't say like my name but I'd be talking at myself like like how like what the fuck is this man like lecture yourself you got to get you out you got this is stupid who cares what he says doesn't matter sure yeah like that but that's not praying that's just

what I do nonstop I mean that's that's talking out loud well I'll have hours long conversations about but it's like a broken tap who's he gonna talk to the rats no stuff I I don't like... No, I'm saying when no one's around. Yeah. I talk to myself. Yeah, for sure. So when Christine's not there, you'll yap to yourself.

Yeah, yeah. In the car sometimes? Maybe you talk. Maybe you're talking to God then. That's what I'm saying, maybe. Maybe he's listening. Probably not. Right.

No, it might be. Doubtful. Yeah, the holding the hands thing, I just... Here's the problem. I don't know how to say no. That's a good thing you know. Yeah. Like, I have a hard time saying,

no like if a guy hey you have full-blown gay sex with me in the bathroom on the break i guess i could tell you don't want to right but you will if i really want you to won't you i mean i don't yeah i mean if yeah okay but i want you to take it right in the took us yep you'll do that i don't he hates saying no don't you love jay i love jay don't you love me baby don't you want to show me that i love you're going to leave me with this hard on you should pick first of all you should pick

something that would be harder to say no to do dude it's really about cool

to leave me with a heart on like this you just really want those Christians

to like you I know this though I love small talk I am the king of

smart I love chit chit chatting with a stranger in the elevator

I love you know just walking around the farmer's market asking questions

and talking to people If anybody, hey, is this mango fresh for mango? Yeah, when I was sitting on the bench, I was this guy next to me. Oh, what kind of dog is that? I'll just, I love a small talk. I'm the king of it. See, what I don't like is that you're over here on this side of the fence with us.

But there's a, like, everything inside of you, it's clearly trying to come out right now, everything inside of you wants to have, like, riding a bike with handlebars, like, out here and, like, a sweater. It's called the cruiser. And a sweater where, like, the cuffs are, like, flipped over each other in front of you. Like, you know, a sweater around your shoulders. Yeah. Like, you want to be like a beach town jerk off. Preppy.

Yeah, preppy fuck. I don't know if I could. Remember the guys who sang to Dan Aykroy's ex-girlfriend at the country club in trading places? Nobody does. Yes, he do. You do. Oh, yeah. Constance fry.

Constance fry. I mean, that was, this was, oof. You want to be one of these guys. You want to do-op to fucking preppy bitches. This is actually worse than praying in public. Harmonizing in public is worse than praying. I'd rather hold hands. Oh.

Oh, God, white people are so. Constance Frye Constance Fry Anytime you call Constance will Winter Spring or fall Wow

Anyway, you want to be that asshole You want to wear a V-nex sweater over a fucking asshole polo shirt And sing fucking doo-op to stupid chicks. I was picturing. Who's that?

Just show more this look. Absolutely. I would love to be able to tuck a button-down shirt into... You were dressing out Fonzo-Rabiero. My dream is to put a button-down shirt, tuck it in with the belt, and not have anything flop over the edge of it. Hey, nerd. Put on a boat.

What else is there? Sorry, Jacob. I just described all your outfits. You're only rocking. role because that's the way you've leaned your life. You want to be this. You would have a monogramed blazer. You want to belong

to a club. I wouldn't mind be this, but there's different versions of this. Like down in southern west Florida the guy would... There's psychotic religious people. There's the guy with the, you know, the fishing shirt and the slip-on little shoes and the hat.

That's my Florida. Yeah, I don't mind that. Body cam Florida. I don't mind that. I would Yeah I would like to I would let my dream is to be what Colin Quinn is in real life To just walk around And just talk like every Hey how you doing?

What's going on? If you ever talk to Colin on the day When he's walking the streets He talks to everybody he bumps into And I'm like do you know them? No just met him Like he'll in the door guys he'll go in Talk to them goes to the bakery

Hi ladies Hey Colin He's the reporter for American stories I wouldn't mind being that guy Colin Quinn? No I'm not say that too many times That's a weird thing

I wish I was Colin Quinn No I wouldn't mind Becoming, dude Single white female We could probably set up a bit Where you can single white female Do you want me to bring in the red sequin blazer Ooh

That's what we're that for him Listen No I mean I wouldn't mind being I'm gonna get you Colin Quinn wig And I think you should start Making it uncomfortable You keep fucking knowing

I fucking queen I think you should make him uncomfortable by constantly, by whenever you go to the cellar just dressing his colon, Colin Quinn. We're our cashmere sweater, grow some stubble. Yeah. Get a widow's peak that never goes away. Guys been going bald for 30 years. Where is that widow's peak going?

Oh, my God. Constance Frye. Did you, nobody acknowledged the video I sent to the group. Did you, what did you, did you, did you laugh at it? Give it a good ha ha ha ha ha is acceptable for this This made me like Dylan showed me this and it was just this kid He means this so much He just wants some love did you watch it Jacob

This kid just wants some love I gave you a ha ha ha ha Is that your ha ha ha? Is that my ha ha ha? It's a loo's ha ha ha ha I think we both hot hot, right? I'll tell you this I don't know This Lou I just bring these are things I bring in from like

I don't know where but this can be chopped. This is clips for sure. There's a point where whatever this kid says could be used in conversation. I enjoy this, but man, I feel this kid. He just wants some love. Go ahead. Play it, Christine.

He's going to play, Christine. He's hyping him up because he's trying to tell him. He's trying to, he's hyping him up because he's trying to tell him that he's trying to give him love he's like I'm trying to give you love what is it rabble-d-d-dabbledy what is that nothing the greatest nonsense yeah but at first he's like he just showed me

some love he's like I'm trying man give me one more time you hate on a niggily dabble you he just wants a hug the kid just wants some love oh he needs is a prayer circle that and what has caught me all week Right when I'm getting ready to be like, AI, I'm over.

I don't care about all the stupid. Hey, look, it's you and your friends climbing a mountain or at a concert together. It's all stupid to me. It's not catching me. What has caught me all weekend is doing, like, religious feats and chiropractics. But with, they're doing AI where they're, like, throwing the person against them. Have you seen any of these?

Yeah, yeah. It's like, you're getting rid of just an old lady's neck and then you just smack. I mean, it looks so. real and his whales are into a wall and she goes careening oh my god those have been funny as hell and someone being like miss like through the power of christ you're gonna walk and it just like she stands up out of wheelchair and just like goes eating shit down the stairs and he's like she didn't want it bad enough for the law wow dude those those are fucking really funny that's good use of i don't care about lewis rollerblading around 9-11 that much god damn wabbleddy dabbled

Huh? Somebody did him rollerblading around 9-11? Rollerblading home from 9-11. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you? Dude, do you type in chiropractic's AI? Yeah, I did. Chiropractor AI.

It's probably more like, yeah, I mean. Like here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a gorilla. There's like an old lady, yeah. Oh, my God. Just through the wall. They have caught me all weekend.

They made me laugh. I tell you what, AI, that's pretty goddamn good. That looks like a real thing. I mean. Oh, my God, he picks up. Dude, they, when they didn't want to you to smash their in the... Oh, my God, there's a football. That, and I sent the other one that I sent to Legion of Skanks that got me was, and these are probably...

It's so funny. If anyone gets mad at things like this, you look at a buffoon. There was one where it's the coin flip for football. It's like Jewish stuff they're doing now with, like, acidic Jews. You saw this, Lou? The coin flip, the guy flips the coin, and it shows like a Hasidic Jewish guy comes over that grabs the coin out of the air.

Just type in Hasidic grabbing coin. These chiropractor ones have caught me a bunch. But, God damn, dude, the Hasidic guy jumping and catching the coin is so fucking funny. There are these people that will get mad at it. Yeah, here it is. Yeah, there's more than one, I guess.

He gets tackled. God damn it, that's funny as shit. So I was wrong. AI can be funny. It's getting, that's just wild, how real that looks. But it looks real until it doesn't. And that's what's, like, kind of fun about it. It's not really, it's, like, ridiculous.

There was one before this app, Sora became popular, like, this old lady, like, feeding an alligator. And I was like, this lady's out of her mind. Like, this is crazy. It's all fake, yeah. Now you have to put AI in the thing, right? I don't know. In your hashtag? Do you really?

I think so. I didn't know that. Although if you think that a guy grabbed an old lady by the neck and bashed her face through a fucking wall, you're kind of a dumb ass. And they posted it? It's getting pretty funny. The ones they made of us were really funny. What was it? What were we doing?

They made one of us all in the hoodie blankets. Oh, really? And they were just adorable. Oh, really? I didn't see that one now. Hoodie blankets. And it was just us three of me, you at Lewis on a couch. A different color hoodie blankets.

And your teeth are so, your smile is so brilliant. It's so adorable. You know, this weekend I was down in D.C. Yeah. In the hood. How was ice? I did shows, but really I was there for the No Kings rally.

Oh, did that happen? I don't know. We walked to the White House. The White House is only like three blocks away from the hotel. We walked to the White House to go see some chaos. Yeah. There was none. I just ended up taking videos of women.

with awful asses. A lot of awful asses at the White House. So we didn't see it in New Orleans either, and it was supposed to be there, but it looks like Chicago was the big one. There's a lot of people out in Chicago. Because they're trying to bring in the National Guard, right? Well, they were saying some of the news outlets were using old footage of old big rallies to say how big it was.

Oh, yeah, maybe. I mean, that could be a lie, too, because I read that on the end. That could be bullshit, too. Of course, no, either way, yeah. I have no idea. I have no idea. I have no idea. I have no idea.

But I'll tell you, at the White House and the time that I was there, there was no I thought the night before it Friday night when I was going back to the hotel it was so like there was such a police presence and shit outside in D.C. That I was like, oh, I thought that was

them getting ready for the No Kings thing. But then the next day when I went outside all the cops, that's just they do that at night. Well, they're on heightened alert and now they found a sniper's nest in a tree at one of Trump's where he was. Was there sniper eggs in it? No, Jay.

It was no sniper eggs. It was for a man to climb up and take a shot at somebody. Oh. In the tree. Why does he build a nest? Well, they call it a sniper's nest. Because he's sitting on eggs. No, this.

I mean, it's not very nice when you're teaching somebody something to laugh at them with the question of it. No, no, no. Jay, I apologize. I'm not laughing at you. I'm just laughing at the visual of some guy sitting on eggs. Yeah, that's crazy. Look at that. A majestic sniper.

He could hit where he gets out of the jet. Yeah, when he gets out of the jet. I think we have a sniper feeder in our tree because we're hoping to get some snipers. No, a sniper. A sniper's not a bird, Jay. A sniper is a man with a rifle that will kill somebody. Agree to disagree. All right.

Bobby, if you say so, bud, but whatever. You know what? Tell your story you're away. Where was it at? In D.C. Where was it, Christine? I think it was no. I think it was somewhere else, right? West Palm.

West Palm, where he gets off the plane. For Marlago. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, somebody put a thing up in the tree to... That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah, man, I'll tell you, political violence, man.

It is... Yeah. Seeming it did go... By the way, I could be completely wrong about this. In America. It did go away for some time. Now it's back big... You know, even from, like, the...

Yeah. What's the lady who heard her... Was that Pelosi? Like, her husband was beat to shit in their house? That was weird. because the cops were there the guy was holding a hammer the husband was holding the guy

hand with the hammer and he was like just relax it's okay it's okay and they're like sir you know and then the guy just snapped and started smashing him in the fucking head with a hammer and then the cops came in

and grabbed him but I don't know what happened to him I don't know where he went if you got arrested nobody knows why he was there like I don't know to hit a guy and head with a hammer yeah but that's just great

and now he's done but if a guy was in if I was holding the guy's wrist the guy was in my house with a hammer and I was holding his wrist as soon as I saw the cops I would just run to the cops

yeah but he was kind of calming him down those are weird he's elderly too he's in prison with that for all yeah he was what else are you gonna do but try and talk to a maniac

with a hammer when you're in the 80s I don't know suck his dick to be the guy's 80 the guy's 82 you would try that Jacob you ever try to just blow a guy

and calm him down to get a hammer well he was 82 when he was getting clunked on the head yeah 82 years old yeah what are you gonna do but please tell him please don't do this just put you know you do you put you grab the hammer hand and then you put your hands down the front of his shorts and you start cranked just slightly cranking out and get into his ear at some point and go listen it's okay not me do you like you got a nice piece I like this piece look at me shh don't look at the cops don't look at me it's okay it's okay put the hammer down grab my stuff if it was me at 82 years old that that calm me down it did didn't it if it was me

to 182 years old I'd fuck this guy up still probably yeah you think so probably me yeah but that's just me you want to punch him and no I wouldn't put that on you guys because you guys might not be that bad ass but like me fuck the sky up when I was 80s you one punch him and then you then show your bice up to christina she'd be like you didn't have to do that yeah that's a fuck why'd you have to hurt the kid why'd you hurt him it's just a hammer I'm 82 be impressed you This guy's got butt chin. I like it. That guy get the drop on you.

I don't know. He's got weird. I'm going bald, but not hair. Yeah. Matthew McConaughey. What the fuck is his name? McConaughey? That guy.

He got life without parole on state charges, and then he got a 30-year sentence on federal charges. Which one does he do first? Which will he do first? You always want to go to federal prison, right? That's the good one. I don't know. I wouldn't want to go to any prison. Well, state prison is the, that's where you're going to get raped.

Yeah. Derek was telling us about that. Remember he was telling us which one was good, which one was bad? Oh, Derek Dresher. Yeah. I was saying Derek Keynes. They've ever been to prison? Not yet.

No? No, not ever. He's a man of the Lord. He is. You? Well. I'll say, we pray. Jake, why we all hold hands right now, and I'll take us out on a prayer.

Sure, sure. Should we kiss each other's next while we're at it, too? If you want a Lord Jesus Christ, please watch over everybody here in the Bonfire crew. Jay, Christine, make their relationships be stronger with every day that goes by. Lou, keep him sober. Black Lou, his family's a beautiful family. Keep them safe. Jacob, please, God.

Find him some pussy. A wife. He needs a wife. Something. Please God. Please God, make this happen. He said a hot wife for Jacob. Also?

In Lord, name of Jesus, baby Jesus. God, tell people to go see Bobby and... Oh, please. Hang on for one second. God, please. Please let them come see me in Sidesputters this weekend. I'm there Friday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, come Thursday, because Thursday is looking weird.

I says we pray, pray, and then email is Pennsylvania this weekend. Or make sure you go to Punchup.org slash Robert Kelly. This weekend I'm in Tampa. Next week, I'm, yeah, right? Yeah. It says you're in Sidesputters this weekend. September 23rd and 25th. I'm at Ice House in Pasadena this weekend.

Sounds fun. Three shows. Two nights. Jason Ellis, I'm going to be on this with me, so who knows what's going to happen. We guys work out together. We're probably going to work together. You know what that leads to. The gauntlet.

It's the old him. It's the old him. I love Jason. I'm excited to hang with him all weekend. He's great. That's this Friday and Saturday. After that, I'm going to Austin. That's all sold out.

Tampa. Close to sold out. I think we're going to add a show there. New Orleans for Skangfest. Plenty of tickets left for that. only friday and sunday only friday and sunday youtube we're hitting those live streams and them they available for pre-order smash that left button smash that subscribe button we'll be right back it's the bonfire