The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Huffing Balloon Juice

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

Bobby gets his prostate checked and gives an update on his testosterone health. | Jay praises Amy Schumer yet again just for good measure. | Christine is trying to book Frosted Jake on the Bonfire. He is a young, blossoming musician who plays songs about the Philadelphia Eagles on his little keyboard. Jay watches a professional wrestling doc that reveals too much behind the scenes and takes away the magic. | Bob and Christine try to convince Jay that he should not take the drug NOS which is nitrous oxide aka balloon juice. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. You know this is Bobby? This is, yeah, this is Little Kim's brother. No, you came in here so stoked you were getting his sneakers one day. No, this is, what's his name? My kid that everybody got trampled, right? Yes. Yeah.

What's his name? Why am I flaking? MC, everybody got trampled and died. MC, everybody's dead. MC, no survivors. God. Right down the street from Skankfest South. Yeah.

What's his name? People getting murdered. Travis Scott. Travis Scott. Dude, good thing. Back on my tea. Back in game day. Got a full physical.

Got my physical. Everything's normal. Everything's great. Getting back on the tea. They're sending it out today. Because I've been off for a week and a half. And it was kind of bummed me out. And I went and got a, that was weird.

I had to go to a proctologist, nice guy. Yeah. And then we're talking, and he's looking at my numbers. He's like, all right, everything looks good, man. You know, everything's, you know, as long as you're close. I was like, oh, cool. I'm like, I grab my keys and getting up. He goes, just give me and do a little quick check before you take off.

I was like, huh? He was like, yeah, just turn around, spin around, pull your pants down. I'm like, oh, God, I was expecting it at the beginning. I was, you know what I mean? I was ready for it. And then he took me out of my game. I got you And then I he goes

And I just pull my pants down And face the wrong way Yeah He was like no no Just turn this way And I was like And I was like And he goes

Put your hand He just had me put my hands On the chair Put them here And then He didn't even open my butt cheeks Do you know what I mean? Like he just

Stuck them in Through the cheeks That are together And he like wiggled it around But then he goes, you know what? Prostate is small. Nice and tight. That tight, tiny prostate.

And he goes, it smells right. Oh. And then he goes. Sour. Because it smells like popcorn. It smells like a pocket full of change and some popcorn. Wait, shit, smell. But I'm back.

I got a whole blood work done. I'm all healthy. I was off tea for a week and a half because my PSA went up, which is your ass. Your public service? That, no. What is it? your PSA is your prostate and if it when you do testosterone you could get you know prostate cancer so you have to keep an eye on that and I got checked and I had that they had to bring

my my PSA's kept going up when I did the T and then I brought it down and I went so now I'm back on it's fine we're good if it gets up and down that prostate yeah they were milking you um yeah I was something weird about I just continue to take testosterone and I went and did blood work the week before I left and they said UPS lost it so I didn't get any blood work so but I'm still taking the T.

You gotta go get it see if my heart shuts off or whatever No, your heart's not gonna shut off but you could get it. Who knows? It's a gathering the juggleros weekend. Maybe I don't even come back from this thing.

What if I just go rogue? What if I go full forest clown? We have to come get you? We have to come find you in the woods? No, I'm not going down from this tree. Jay? Jay.

Jay? Jay, we have some more hair, die down here what colors come on bud come on down i have pretzels and cookies you can't get me down till the eagles games tomorrow bud what's what's that the eagles philadelphia eagles football by the way what christine did you tell everyone that you are now in contact with uh my favorite Acapella, well, individual piano player, singer to have him come on the show. Who? Who?

Billy Joel. Who are you more excited than anybody to have a show? Kelly Clarkson. A musician who plays a piano, it's a guy. Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkins is a woman still. Oh, Billy Joel. Close.

Close to Billy Joel, really? It's close to Billy Joel. Shit. Oh, your favorite. Who? Elton John. Not Elton John. But you're actually getting closer.

Wait, can I give a hint? You're getting closer. Elton John sure oh no what that was the clue that Christine just exploded her tiny tits on her chest yeah of course because it's just like she just slapped them think that's the pancakes those are my tits my chest oh wow they're very close they're supposed to be tits there christine we call you we call your tits chest chest you seem a little confused yeah tits are supposed to be there normally that's how our tits go yeah that's where they normally That's where the Ariel and the tits go.

That's where tits normally live. Chess, titty drums, influencer. Our little savvy friend. Heavy load of the Super Bowl champions, the Eagles. Is he going to come on, really? From Philadelphia. I went there once, hi. I love it.

Where is he from? He lives in New York. I'm not sure where he's from. Jayland heard so yummy, it should be illegal. So I say, go, birds and fly. Eagles fly. Coo, coo, levy. Like an eagle.

Fly, fly, look, man. Throw, throw, love. like a monster as hard as you can. Devonte Smith has my heart and a romance can start. A heart. Tonight. Fly, eagle's fly.

Cool, cool, like an eagle. Fly, fly like a man. Tonight. Tonight. It's way gayer than Valentine eating my ass. What? You've never been more wrong about something. In a good way.

No, man. This guy's straight Philly. illadelf yeah he's adorable he's gonna be in here he's gonna be in here now he's he's in for the season what so what the guy's to wear a small bathing trunk so what yeah but it's not that he's drinking a diet coke he's drinking of cores twinks for cores late and it's just add cores partner twinks for course like kid rocking this guy that's for cores light all right that's the rainbow of uh of sponsorship that's funny twinks for cores

Yeah We got put through He said to speak to his manager Whoa Who's his manager That girl in the background He goes tonight Speak to my manager

Barb Yeah so he reached out to Barb O'Malley He got back to Christine So that's good news So you got back to you Like phone-wise Did you talk to him?

No I DM'd him From a couple different accounts And I was trying to find Manager information on him But he sent it to me directly Why did Christine just become an old Jewish woman No I just DM'd Now I DMs him.

And then he got back to me directly and then, you know, we're going to see what happens. One of his songs has been purchased, it says. What one? By a new reality show for a food network in Hulu. Wow, let's hear it. His new EP, Fork. Fork? I like that.

I want to see this. Let's hear it. I've got to find out what it is. Let's hear it. We already know the guy. Look, I'm not calling him one-hit wonder. Everything I've heard so far is golden. Everything.

And listen. Everything. A hundred percent of them Because even if you don't like the bulk of what he's saying At the end he's going to go tonight Do we have it? No, I'm not finding fork It's directing me to Ballad for Costco

Could this be a joke? He wouldn't. Why? He wouldn't do that to me. Maybe he's not doing it to you, maybe he's doing it to them. Dude, stop being such a mark. Stop being such a mark, Jay. Oh, speaking of being a mark,

I do like it. I started it last night and I liked it if I was a kid it would have destroyed me I would have watched every minute of it and it would have destroyed me that behind the scenes of WWA It's no good

I don't think it's a bad idea It's a bad idea It shouldn't be done It should be or it should be like On something that's just not so accessible to every I don't know I don't know where you put it I don't know where you put it's as an adult

fan of wrestling Or that I was a fan of wrestling I think what they're going to show is the coolest thing ever It's ridiculous to do it, though. They're following, what they're doing is they're, I think they're following the UFC footprints by having some behind-the-scenes thing.

You can't do that. You're storytelling for adult men. One episode. And we can't know, I don't want to know the sauce. One episode in Bobby, the American nightmare has cried three or four times. No, in real life. Yeah.

No, no, Cody Rhodes, who says, and by the way, also you get to hear when he's talking to you calmly and crying, he goes, he goes, I didn't think, I thought that it was going to be the, how dare you? The president. And turns out that, uh, I didn't know that I would be the faith of the sport one day. His father, Dusty Rhodes had a lisp.

They both had fat tongues. All right, listen, man. So doesn't, what's, what is it? I found Cody Rhodes very likable. My point just being, like, what's the wrestling thing? It's like, then they're saying like they do use the real name because the wrestling character is themselves. Well, the, the actual nightmare,

Nightmare was his brother invented the character and he took he asked his brother if he could take it and use it who um his brother is in his brother's in a a e w right there's another one there's another one two brothers yeah because the other one's gold dust no he's gold dust oh his brother was gold dust he's not gold dust he was uh he he he did gold dust he didn't go did gold dust he might have did gold dust too um yeah i think he did gold dust yep no no no what did he has been in the AEW since conception and participated in many. No. No, he, no, seriously, type in all the characters that Cody Rhodes has done.

I think he did do it for the WW for a minute. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. What was it? Yeah. There it is. Undashing Cody Road, Star Dust. That's what it was. He was Star Dust, he was Gold Dust.

Star Dust and Gold Dust was the fucking best character ever. When he faked Tourette's Syndrome and went on Howard Stern and committed. That's what I'm almost saying. That guy went on Howard Stern show. Awesome. His one chance to be on the Howard Stern Show probably, and they bring him on, and it's because he's faking that he had got Tourette's from a match. No, he got Tourette's from being electrocuted.

Right. Yeah, he got electrocuted and got Tourette's, and then he would go into the ring. And they also, Gold Dust was androgynous, too. He would come in and do. A lot of gay stuff, and it would freak people out. Yeah, it was hilarious. Great character. Hilarious.

Married to an animal of a woman. Did they show her? Terry Reynolds? No, they don't even got into Gold Dawn I always said we only watched one of the five episodes But it was like Interesting to me But I was like man they're really just giving you the whole

Because these people are active right now The other one was Ria Ripley They're going through her whole thing And just like showing her She's like I'm actually really bashful And like seeing the side of her I'm like this is fun to watch for me But you're I'd be so upset if I was a kid

That was in the wrestling Well you want to you want to believe You know You want to believe that Ria Ripley is this badass crazy demonic goth chick that comes out and beats the shit out of it. You want to believe that Cody Rhodes is the American badass.

I don't want to see him cry. I mean, he didn't cry when the rock beat him up. No, it's really like... Yeah, I don't want to see it. And then he's all talking positively about each other about people who they're in current things with. And really describing the thing, they go, they show him in the room going, like,

no, I think Royal Rumble, because it's seen his last run, like, let's have him... Well, they're showing the ideas. We'll have him win the rumble because that's more of a scene of thing. And then elimination chamber is CM Punk. We get CM Punk back up in elimination. They're just going through, they're showing him like,

this is weird. Can't do it. Can't do it. Shouldn't do it. It's all, we know it's fake. We know your athletes. We know it's hard to do wrestling. But you need to suspend reality

to believe that Cody really won the belt, you know, or that CM Punk is fighting his way back to get to the championship versus them telling you six months from now you're going to get the belt from so-and-so because he's going to win it from this guy in a month it's very weird I don't like it either man I agree with you that girl Terry Reynolds that was the story uh now rest in peace uh new jack from ECW told us that she was crazy and allegedly said that uh did she chose a picture of uh did show us picture we said this girl here allegedly used to like to get the what do you call the jelly donut what's that where you

come all over her face and then she wanted to get like hit until there was like blood she wouldn't have her blood and come on her face i'm sorry what did you say to me you said that you come on the face i don't i know i mean i will do that but i'm the rest of it i don't do then you punch them in the face till they bleed he did he would have in this scenario and then jacob relax let me just get through this before you get all whipped up. This guy's going to pop. Jacob, calm down. Jacob, calm down.

And then he would, yeah, she'd want to be... Just let him get it out. Let him get it. Let him get it. Let's get over. Friendly fired, dude. You got it on my goddamn forearm. Jesus, Jacob.

What are you having celery? This guy's like a bellagio. Punch him in the face. Really? In Seekawks. She's going to be the Lakintana Seacoccus? All right, dude. So, you punch him and they bleed into the cum,

so the cum looks like jelly. Yeah? Oh, you're talking about the move. The old move, that's the, you know, the dirty Sanchez type stuff. The jelly donut was come on her face, buncher in her nosebleeds is the thing. Into the common. I don't think even New Jack said that's what the move was. He said she liked to have come and blood on her face.

So he'd come on her face and, like, you know, she'd want to get, like, hit or something. So 90s. I have to go back and listen to it, but it was pretty wild. He shows a picture. It was nuts. That's such 90s. So 90s. But she looks pretty cute.

I don't think she's with, but maybe she is still with him. Dustin Reynolds? Yeah. Dustin Reynolds? Family's royalty. It's just, it's sad that they're showing behind the scenes of all this stuff because you're right. Not only kids, but there's guys who really follow, the world follows wrestling like it's

a sport. I feel like you're putting this outward, but you're really talking about yourself only here. I'm not a mark. You understand? I enjoy the storytelling of it. I understand it I don't want to know it I love magic

I know that illusion is not real but I don't want you to tell me about it because I want to believe that he made the Statue of Liberty disappear. It's mirrors. Yeah, dude, what the fuck?

No, what? I didn't say that. You said it's mirrors, John. No, come on. What do I mean mirrors? Now, how do I possibly know if that's true? But that's always what they've said.

I remember when he made it disappear on TV and it was like a little like chaos kind of around it, right? It didn't like go perfect right away and then it lifted the thing and it wasn't there. And immediately in my life, somebody was like, mirrors.

What the fuck does that even mean? He put up 75,000 gigantic mirrors to angled in a way that it would look there, there's nothing there. He goes, I don't know. It's always something, this is what balls to me about magic. It's always something so simple

that you could have figured it out, but you're too stupid because you're trying to think of giant mirrors, but it's just like a little mirror and the cameras angled at the right spot that it looks like it went away and it didn't. And everybody else is just in on it.

What was the best dude watching when... Did you commentate any of the Lewis magic at Skangfest last year? No. That really made me tickled me because he was doing some big ticket magic, whatever you call it. And like you just... The things would happen. Like he did it a couple times. Like he did the sword where he stabbed the card and it was the right card.

And then like... But like not on purpose. Like as he lowers the sword and you still do a thing, you see like the fishing line like come down on the card. You're like, oh, the card's like attached to the fucking sword for sure. I'm like, damn, dude, I thought you nailed it. I was like, oh shit. asshole yeah

I hate he did he did a smart move though by telling us to commentate on he's like let me kind of do the thing

but also commentate on and like I just remember when he was like would I like a volunteer from the audience as he pulls out

the big box you know for the girl he goes I like a volunteer from the audience and like a super hot chick

at Skangfest dressed like nobody else at Skangfest is like I'll do it goes ma'am right here like that's convenient she's wearing

an amazing amazing Gomez cape I knew you were going to do magic so I dressed like an idiot. Is this the Manishing Statue of Liberty? So it's at night.

I don't remember this. I thought this was during the day. Magic is so dramatic, and they're so... Here's the thing. It becomes too much performance, and to me it becomes like a fat, like, I don't describe it, it's almost like a concert in some way, but it's not as fun as, like, to me, I'm a sucker for the stupidest. Buddy, the guy who takes pictures of me when I do a...

There's like my head shots and stuff. Gay porn? No, out in Sacramento, like he does up-close magic. And he did a thing with me and someone at the club where it was like, you pick a card, you pick a card. So we each picked a card and look. He's like, everyone can see the card. It's no problem. Except him.

He puts him back on the deck, flips the deck all around different ways. And then he goes, now look, everyone's the right side up except this one right here. and he says it so fast he goes and this is your card right so put that in your hand and he has me put it in my hand and what me and I assume the other person both know is that that was the other person's card

like he was calling it my card when it was not mine it was their card right and then he goes to the whole thing and he was like and look at that right there and he was like so that card down there is your card right and I was like no actually it was like his card you know it was his car and he goes he goes

oh you sure and then like when I open it up like it wasn't the card he put in my fucking hand to me and the other card uh was yeah it was back now it was my card wow and like so that i like that threw me off on purpose and i was like that was trippy i love that shit i love magic yeah i know there are a bunch of nerds who never got laid i think he would tell me i think he would tell me how he did it but i'd be like dude i don't even really want to know honestly just do it it's great i don't know how he possibly did that i watched the whole thing yeah i love it i always wanted to be a magician but i don't like the i don't like

I don't like the magic where it's like now, time me down to this big weird table and this crazy band saw is going to lower slowly and will it happen before the, because I don't think that's, there's no real danger. Chris Angel stuff. Yes. I don't like. You know, like, I'm going to walk across a pool while people are in it. Right, but I

did like, but I did like, but I like 20 minutes of that show every week when it was something like hey, let me see your cell phone and take like a beer bottle and go like that and like the phones in the beer bottle. They have to break the beer bottle to get their phone. That's awesome. I don't how he does that probably all camatrix i like that was that movie the comedy where uh jim carrie

played like the uh chris angel and he he was so perfect was it jim carrie played the chris angel guy and he would just cut himself it's like no to where it and then he shot it he drilled into his head he goes i'm gonna drill into my head it's never been done and he did it and he just went retarded he couldn't talk yeah it's it's bert uh burr understone so funny i forgot about this movie funny movie. It is a great movie. And the best part is when he goes in the hospital, see the older magician, and he goes, and he puts it down, and he sees him crawl. The smoke didn't last long enough, and they just see him crawling under the bed. He's like, I see you. Play this Jim Carrey. He's taking a drill and just literally just putting it in his head.

Oh, Gandalfini. Gandolfini was in it, yeah. Olivia. Jay Moore was in it, too. Jay was a shitty magician. He's, he, he can't, he can't speak. He just lives like that now? He can't, yeah, he just lives like that now. Jay Moore is a great actor, dude. I'm surprised he's not acting anymore.

Oh, he's back on the road. Bobby's trying to get on them, casino gigs. You know, Jay Moore's underrated. That guy should be told him. Yeah, you probably got a nice. Amy phone call last night, you Hollywood piece of shit. No, no. She probably hasn't heard my cries of I didn't, I didn't mean anything by it.

So funny, I was telling Colin about, I was like, Jay was, saying, Amy's the big, he goes, here she was, she put us in a long time. I was like, fuck you. Oh, Jesus. Listen. Yeah, he was her dad. She's like the CIA. Her and Ari Shafir got some weird thing, and I'm all for it.

That's fine. You guys have a thing, have a thing. I just have never had an issue with Amy Carson. I don't have an issue with Amy. not only going to have an issue she's been quite good to me anyway I don't like when you Lou

get my camera please when she didn't have to when the cards were down for the big guy and I was feeling a little lost trapped I didn't have management I didn't have agent and I was going nowhere quick

Comedy Central said they were actually quote unquote out of the business of Big J. O'Kerson And then Amy Schumer Saw something in me I don't know what it was But it was enough to help me out in my career in ways that Shit, I couldn't pay back

Amy Schumer That's my hero Thank you Lou You were saying wrestling That was beautiful, Jay? Thank you Beautiful, not really You know what?

She's a beautiful person Yes, thank you She does right by people By you Me particularly She has done particularly right by me She may have done very bad by other people I don't know

And those aren't my problems Those aren't my fights to fight Oh she put everybody in her movie man That's crazy And still you talk about her like that I haven't talked anything about it I just don't like the way You kiss ass

It's kissing ass to say It's okay I'm not a man now Because I'm just saying How I feel about somebody Yeah That's crazy crazy that's not a good way to behave yeah so you think the whole thing's fun in games if you

did me favor black lou please now who are you looking at the girls I'm looking off she's a triple threat yeah sing dance act comedy quadruple threat dance sex pot said what quintuple threat okay she uh she uh He's reached down, sent the elevator down, it's her that you use a lot for a lot of people. Yeah. Helped out a lot of people. She sent the elevator down just for you.

She came and got me. Yeah. Made sure I was on that private jet. That was pretty dope. Yeah. I made sure I got paid for the main stage at oddball tour. Yeah. We heard.

Beautiful inside now. Beautiful inside now? Oh, you were leaning in. I was leaning in. I'm just listening. I know. Yeah, buddy. Amy's not going to take you seriously

if you keep having gay sex with your phone. Thank you, Black Lou. She can't... That's not her dancing, you assholes. Yes, it is. What are you talking about? That's totally her. It's not her. What do you mean?

That's her just pumping. Is she... Oh, wow, she can... A little Burke cries, she can dance, I guess. Yeah. Amy can dance. Well, there you go. No, the jokes that she's not as good as everybody else,

but she's doing fine. Yeah. You don't think you wouldn't give the biz to Amy Schumer. Buddy, Amy Schumer was a cutie patootie for a minute. What do you mean was? Why would you say something like that? She's still beautiful, you fucking son of a bitch. You're a fucking piece of shit.

Black Lou, if you wouldn't mind. I can't stand. I hate Hollywood, Jay. What is beauty? So we're not supposed to challenge classic beauty norms? What? I think the girl's beautiful. Blonde hair, blue-eyed, classic, Hitler Dream.

What? You say what? She's Jewish. Well, that part is his nightmare. Okay. That she was made to be such a Hitler dream and yet happens to be Jewish. Okay, that makes sense. I, uh, yeah.

Does she get along with her uncle with the, those? Schumer? Yes. Very much so, yes. The guy's belief system, the way he cares about his constituents. I guess, but what are you, you like? I'm veering. You like him?

I don't know, does she? Yep. And I do. Fuck off Chuck Schumer When is the election He would be involved in He's not for

He's fine For a little bit He's in for life But what would the year For life Carrillo part They're never going to vote him Out until he

Okay Chuck Schumer To infinity and beyond Oh wait in this Okay at the end I always do a stick tongue out In peace signs God

Can you edit me out of all those videos Lou Schumers for life I'm voting for the Schumer Shummer ticket two thousand thirty two how funny was she really just made a huge comeback and she made you her assistant host star i'll carry your books i'm gonna carry your luggage for her she got she made you a co-star and i got nothing i got look at's well because you keep coming at her like

that but me yeah i didn't come i didn't say anything i remember when my bread's buttered i do you love bread i love buttered bread you think i don't remember everywhere my bread's been buttered yeah you You both love buttered bread. How dare you? That's not cool at all. I do, but I don't need it anymore. I won't come at that. Weight shaming.

Is this where we're at? Yeah. What year is this? Is this what we do now? It's 2025. I hate, I hate Hollywood Jay. Wow, dude. I hate I want to make it, Jay.

Wow. You really want to make it. This is crazy. You want to make it. Are you bisexual now? I mean I'm open to things I'm pan You love pans

I'm pan-sexual I fuck all my pans Because I'm so happy of them For helping me make food How do you think your pans Words? They don't understand English I don't touch pans They understand physical emotion

I don't play with pants You have to express yourself physically With your pants I don't even wash pans That's how much of a man I am Man I have to go buy 7,000 things of weed tonight For the gathering of juggalo's Now let me ask you question

You fly with that It's no big deal You can fly with weed now Well Oh shit In your ass Nice Do you need help?

Yeah I have help Christine She dips the bottoms Of the little five packs In butter And sticks it in your loaf She just makes a train of these

She just dips it a little bit in butter And then it's rounded on the side You see Yeah So once you get over to lip Jacob And I appreciate you staring so good once you get through the lip you're like boop and then it's in and then you just before this parts all the way in right you take another one and put it in and you put it remember like mechanical pencils buddy it's like loading uh when you a lever action rifle you have to put one in halfway and then push the other one in mechanical pencil this one will go in yeah almost all the way and then push that one in this guy goes is that glass or plastic this one's glass so is the first one plastic for a reason or it doesn't matter if i lose it i need it to be biodegradable up there And then towards the bottom, we get the glass ones

Because that kind of opens you up And you get to see better You can see my dukees like two hours before They get anywhere near where they're supposed to be How much weed do you... Up the glass tube How much weed do you smoke at gathering of the juggalo's? Dude.

Is it a lot? Is it all day? All day. Really? I'm bringing 7,000 packs of cigarettes And so much weed and... What about food and water? They have that.

We'll get water. We have access to water. Oh, you get a trailer? Mm-hmm. Oh, that's nice. You guys all sleep in the trailer? No, no, no. Where do you sleep?

Me and Lewis are at a hotel. Like a hammock in a tree. Me and Lewis are in the hotel. I don't know where Zach's at. Butterly, G. Mike and Tom are in an Airbnb. Oh, okay. Like five minutes from the hotel. And I'm doing a lot of, what's it called?

NOS. What's that? The gas, dude. Like, fast and the furious? What made the cars go faster? You're doing car juice. I'm doing car juice. Why are you doing car juice, bro?

So awesome. What is it? What does it do to you? It makes your brain go, is it like the, when I used to do the whip cream? Yes. That is what it is.

Oh, that's it. One of my last drugs was... That, huffin. I had a half a bottle of white label scotch. I smoked a bunch of weed. I had three tall Budwisers, and I went into the... grocery store to get the whipped cream to do a little knot what I got what are they

call it they call whippets whipets yep and we went in there to do that and then I wound up stealing the gumball machines and I got arrested oh yeah because it was so awesome well they were trying to steal the gumball machines they didn't know how to do it so I just grabbed it ripped it off and smashed you were doing the nose too yeah we would not really we would go into the we would go into that's not a hype up thing that's like a minute of complete shut down we would go in we would go in shake it and then and then we'd be fucked up in the grocery store But, I mean, fucked up where you couldn't steal something of that, but you have to, like, almost, like, sit down.

Like, the idea is it's almost like doing a knockout game with yourself. Yeah, we got fucked up, and then we were leaving. They were, these idiots were trying to steal. They were, like, trying to grab the gumball machine. They wanted the money or whatever. I don't know what they were doing. They were, like, help us. And I just went over and ripped it off and grabbed it and then smashed it

and got the gum and the money. And then we got arrested for gumballs. And then you swore off Whippets ever again? Last time I ever got... That was the last drink. My last drug was a Whippet, I would say. Is Whippet's drugs? I don't know.

I would say it would be. Listen, for service. It kills so many brain cells. Well, I'm only doing it for three days nonstop. Yeah, it's so bad for you. But you're doing like a... You're not doing what I did. I did just whipped cream.

You're doing an actual... Well, you can crack it. So it's basically a CO2 canister, I guess what it is. And you get the balloons. Do you buy it? Yeah. Do you have to... Is it like...

You have to... to buy it four balloons, but do the other thing? Wait, what do you mean? Like, do you walk in, hey, my kids got a party and get a thing of this shit and then go and get high? No, at this point, you're walking into like a head shop and going like, hey, whatever you guys say those are four, I'll take five of those.

Wow. It's always like, you know, it's like they sell you every pipe in a fucking place is like, you know, tobacco pipe. Well, the meth pipes are oil incense burgers. Yeah, like dildos of foot rubs. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they just look like a cock. Yeah. Don't fit between your toes. But I'm going to do it right this year. I did it wrong all last year than I was putting in your butt. I was putting it in my butt, wrong hole. I could, I should tell you how many times that's happened with drugs with me. Wrong hold it?

That's how you first did Coke, right? You're supposed to, like, blow it up and suck in and blow back into the balloon and suck in. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? So you take it? Yeah. And you blow out and suck in. Okay, why is your head moving up in? You blow out and suck in like that.

Do you have to move your head up and down like that? No, but usually someone else's hands in the back of your head. Wait a minute. And then you blow up and you suck in. Hang on one second. Dude, if you never going to a concert? I've been to concerts. I've never had anybody have to put the hand in the back of my head.

Because you weren't doing Nas. Of course. You go like this, and you pull it by like that. And then you suck some in. What do you mean you suck? And then you take your mouth off of it for a while and just like, you know, and hold it in. What? Yeah.

And then maybe spit it back out a little bit. I'm going to throw up. Why? dude grow up such a hilarious thing for a 47 year old man to be doing what the her jealousy is ugly because Christine can't do any kind of drugs at all

because she has a broken brain I choose not to Christine's got a broken Christine's got a broken brain Jay one second I'm sorry I'm sorry are you saying it's silly

for a man to drink balloon juice They call the people that At a festival With grown men dressed like clowns What are you saying, Christine? What am I saying, Bobby? Are you saying a man drinking balloon juice

And having his friend push his head down on it? You just smoke weed, man Have some beers Like, you know, he was too nice Hey man I don't know, dude It sounds like a fun time to me This is why I'm not allowed to go

Christine's not allowed to go Of course she's not She will ruin everything fun She's an adult she'll ruin everything fun yeah well she doesn't you know I mean what are you gonna do bro you're gonna have a good time

leave her home and do Noss until my brain freezes dude don't can you can you get hurt by this probably yeah what are you doing dude huh don't do this don't do Nause

no I think if you have like a long problem with it you will do lots of damage yeah right but you can't do it this weekend for three days and be fucked up no that'd be hilarious if you came back and you brain's frozen No, just your speech was fucked

You talk like Cody Rhodes I'm going to the Get another flimmed through out there I'll tell you what, bonfire You call us up at 969 169-1-134-5 See what X-M, fact and talk My name's Big Deolkerson

I'm never going I'm never going to the gathering the doubles again Those clowns the myth of my whole life Here you go What is it? These are possible things With frequent or chronic use You're doing a lot of stuff too What do you mean?

Well you got other things going on we got the the peptide you get the tea you get the the the the I don't no blood work the juice no blood work and then you're gonna go smoke fucking do you live on the edge at this point 48 man gonna drop out at some point please don't drop out I don't we don't want you to drop out I'll get to the I'll get to the contract I don't know why do you keep making him older by the way just because keep making me older and that was forty seven a second ago he is 47 I'm saying I don't want to die at 49 so two years you want him to 50 you know yeah get

to the 50s. That's when all my stocks mature. Now, Jay, he'd be like an 85 year old still chain smoking. You know how fast Rebecca would move to the East Coast and those two witch lesbians would be in that pool? They get a Jersey comedy club going like that. I'd like Christine

buy the house for me. Frequent and chronic use of it can lead to serious neurological problems including spinal cord and brain damage. Oh, Jesus, Jay? It can inactivate vitamin B-12, disrupting myelin sheath maintenance. it can result in peripheral neuropathy that's not good

demilination that's not good either in the brain and spinal cord gate disturbances oh no Christina I can't see sorry uh... paristhesia

what's a gate disturbance you walk shorter cognitive impairment what is that cognitive impairment your brain separates from your spinal cord yeah idiot

deemiation well myelin is the protective coding around the nervous system. What's wrong? You can't you can't read English? What is wrong with you, dude? What are you doing? What are you doing? Nostgas? You can't fucking read? Oh, this is why people walk all fucked up.

They're all waddling around. You're going to walk like John Cena now? All right. It can lead to alterations in your NMDA receptor function affecting emotions and potentially causing dissociative experiences. Okay. Come on, dude. It also disrupts fight, but

it's in flavors. Uh, it disrupts vitamin B12 metabolism, increasing homocysteine levels. That explains a lot of what happened last year. Uh, damaging neurons and impacting cognitive and emotional processing. I don't want to process my emotions. That's good. Um, do you want to be able to use your hand? Do you want your brain to be able to signal to use your hands correctly?

I can't do anything with my left hand anyway. Why? I don't know. Maybe Noss. But I think it's because I'm just not left handed. I'm terrible with it. Want to see me throw something? something with it yeah show the chips at me oh my god the only the only word that comes out of

my brain is sissy you should flex and have bobby feel it you guys mean i can't flex it i can't flex your left arm i don't know how dude that's what i don't know how to do it why nobody my right my right arm's look at me look at me look at me old up dude i know look at watch that's that's the right take take this look at yeah close your fist i buddy i understand the thing it's just it's not Stop making it like a little, like fucking a Muppet snail. Like Bowser? Yeah, stop. Look it. Do the fist first.

Do this. Straight. Fist it. Fist it. Now, just don't turn the wrist. Don't turn the wrist. I've tensed everything up. There you go, right there. Now make it.

There you go. Nope. Wow. And you're going to go do gnaws with a bunch of clowns this weekend. Well, I'm trying to even out. You're going to lose your right arm. Oh, dude. Well, hang on.

It's not done yet. We're going to have to make you and Keith perform together. They say that you should not inhale nitrous oxide. Yeah, no shit. They have serious adverse effects, including death. Yeah. Or MS. Yeah, dude, if you get MS, it's going to suck.

MS sucks. Wait, what does I say MS? This wouldn't be Christine's first dance with taking care of an MS patient? Oh, Jesus Christ. Give yourself MS. That'll be fun. Like father like daughter, dude. Yeah.

That'd be hilarious. That'd be a funny little prank on her to make you have to take care of you for the next 10 years. Oh, my God. I'm going to show just had kids, taking care of some man. We get a text every day around 4 o'clock. Jay's going to be late. The wheelchair didn't make it over. I'm steering a wheelchair at my face.

He can't move his right arm now. Nonverbal. No, can't make any money. I'm going to miss you guys. I'm going to be away. I know. We're going to have guest hosts next week. Next week.

With me, coming in your studio with me. And then we're going to be off for a week. In September 2nd, we return the show full strength. Bobby's back. Howard Stern's first day back also. You think people are going to want to talk and listen to that? Everyone wants to know what's going on. I'll be the juggloes this weekend.

Bobby's doing comedy to Carlson. October 10th and 11th. Yeah. Yeah, Jay, if he makes it back. If I make it back. If he makes it back this weekend, I'll watch him again. If my gnaz gas doesn't take that,

doesn't take my broadcasting part of my brain away. Jay's going to be the stress factory. So check it out. To be fair, there's some good things, too. No, there isn't. Euphoria and relaxation. Yeah. Altered perception.

Oh, pain relief. Cedation and pain relief. Christine's going to get gnaws and do it by herself in the house. I'm walking on sunshine. Oh, I love it. We'll see you guys next week. I won't, but Jay will. Crackle, crackle.