The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hungry Eyes w/Mike Finoia & Andy Fiori

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

The old gang is back together as Andy Fiori and Mike Finoia return to talk problematic movies. Dirty Dancing was absolutely filthy, Grease had inappropriate interactions, and Roadhouse gets more bizarre as time passes. | Andy has still water sitting at his desk since the pandemic and dares someone to drink that pond scum. | Black Lou takes his kid to the mall and when the Santa turns out to be black, the rich white families have a problem. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Go to punchup.live/mikefinoia for Mike's tour dates and to find Andy go to Andyfiori.com! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Oh, man, this song rules. I like when he goes. You know, my favorite part is when he goes, wow, wow, wow. I like when he comes and he goes, weo, squat, ooh, squat, squat, u, squat, u, squat, whew. That shit doesn't hold a candle when he goes,

Jacob, that part, you know that part? Yeah, it's the most part of the same. Jacob, hey Jacob, do you know that part? Yeah. I love it. Who does it better? But be honest though, am I doing it though? No.

Jay, shut up, ready? It's all about the few. Hang on mic. Just give me two seconds. Jacob, is it sounding going? I go, A bullhag, zip it. What about?

I would go to the rock. Skate. Oh, wait, don't want to be there. It's the bonfire. Faction Talk, serious XM103. Bobby Kelly is out. I haven't heard from him, so I'm picturing he's like the end of the shining, Jack Nicholson.

He's just frozen somewhere in Canada. Frozen Bobby. while they're trying to film him, talk about comedy camp. It's fucking cold out, dude. Yeah. I don't know. He says he wants to be outside so much, but I don't think he likes being outside as much as he says he does. No.

Squaw-in-w-w-d-w-d-w-d-w-d-w-d-ww-d-w-d-ww-d-ww-d-wwwww... Josh, get out of here. Jay, she's on-tide. Mike, what's that over there? You dropped your pick. Bobby Kelly Passed away in Canada Sitting in his chair

Tease and peas to the Kelly's Tease and peas thoughts of prayers To the whole Kelly Klan You got mulled by a gris You got a salmon Stug at his teeth We have guest hosts running Until our great

Bobby is back Where he belong Sitting in the chair today Everyone you know him You love him It's America's Amigo Pancho Mike Fanoia He's on tour of Ron White

Make You go to Mike Finoya, F-N-O-I-A-D-com for tickets to all of his shows. And make sure you listen to his podcast. Are We Old? Wherever you find podcasts. Sitting in with us for the whole show today. So exciting, everybody. I just got to work with him on his show, the Larry the Cable Guy, Christmas extravaganza.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. Out in Omaha. Sick. Where Larry the Cable Guy reigns supreme. Yeah. It is. Family over here at the bonfire.

You know him is Merckface. Andy. It's the. hilarious Andy Fiore John What's up, dudes? Andy's going to be at the comedy cellar

in Vegas, December 29th through January 4th Vegas New Year's I know I know We'll see Backstreet Boys is at the sphere You can run over and catch the ball draw I already didn't look that up

I should go see that I heard they really use the sphere actually I'm going to see Wizard of Oz the sphere I'm going to see fucking Backstree boys ring in 2026 I saw Wizard of Oz this week I wish I was being more smar me about

that. I've heard that the backstreet boys are using this, like it's an awesome show. The visuals are pretty serious. I'll let you know. I can't wait. Are you going to air guitar like it's a jam show? You know how I do? Yeah, I like when the back street goes, boys go, um, wah, do, wah, squam, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, everybody. Yeah. On air guitar at any inappropriate moment. National anthem. He's going to be on tour with Tom Pop as well in 2026. So makes you go to Andy Fiori, F-O-R-I. What an alphabetically show this is today yeah you're really hanging out right down the list

well people should go see you guys I want to make sure they get tickets thank you Jason guitar strap I've noticed his air guitar strap is up high oh he goes Paul McCartney's though it's not that high you're wrong you're Paul McCartney star no he's wrong not so it's not super high but you know what me do era this is shown you have a lovely daughter

it's waist level my drums are a little higher Dean Wien said never cover your cock with the body of the guitar I don't think I am higher or lower I don't think I'm covering my air cock with my air guitar. You better not. How big's your air cock?

Not that great. Your air cock could be as big as you want. Yeah, my air cock is about... That's how insecure I am. My air cock's about 18 inches and it curves hard right. Sick. My air cock, when I go, I guess I go, dude, I'm just going to be sitting there fucking jerking off all the time like this.

Jacob, look how I do it like that. That's my air cock. I'm really air insecure. About 18 inches, right? Is that a good math? About 18 inches of pure, uh, curved cock. That's more than 18. That's about 24 to 36, I'd say.

You have a massive aircock Yeah Come on, dude That's more than 18 Not even That's barely over a foot Yeah, come on being nice That's the size 11 right there

I'm using my air tape measure Motherfucker I didn't know all of a sudden Dude look at that That's 18 fucking inches That thing drops air ropes Yeah, man absolutely I'm sorry I'm sorry

You sat in the wrong chair For the curve of my air cock You can take an air eye out With that fucking low Just you know right now You are soaked in air come It's leaking off of you Hey turn down the AC in here

man what a pig you just took it real sploo town I laid it all over you real just fucking guzzler every bit of it my hair cock's real thick it's like a two-hander like a two-liter bottle that doesn't seem fun what a disgusting disgusting person you are I can't believe you accepted that um big round cock I was just with Andy we were both in Omaha shout out Colleen Quinn shout out Colleen Quinn uh... owner of the Omaha Funny Bone, which has moved, new location. I call it the house that Liquid Death built. Liquid Death, by the way, free plug.

Liquid Death, now offering 12-ounce cans. Yeah. Oh, no more IPA style. It's not always a tall boy now. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I drink those. Do you hammer them?

Like, does the beer drinker and you go, like, I have to finish this as fast as I fucking drink beers? No. You crush liquid D's, dude? I crush LDs, dude. I don't like it. I don't know why. It's a great product. Crack a can, and you're like, I got a...

Next gig, let's fucking... Let's fucking shotgun. Let's shotgun liquid deaths. Sparkling mango LDs, dude. I'll funnel an LD right now. You think I won't take a liquid death of the head? I'll do a keg stand on a 12-pack. I'll crush a case of them sheds.

No, because I don't do that with like a Coke can or any other cans. What is it about liquid death? Do you crush sodas like that? I do drink. You know what? I kind of do. Really? I do.

I almost never. finish a can of soda. Same. Wow, no. I like to drink shit while they're fast and bubbly. A bottle of soda? Almost never. You know what I find myself doing is dumping out the back, like the bottom third of like a can of seltzer. I want it cold and bubbly. Like as

cold and bubbly as I could get it. This is why people call you a diva. Yeah. Pretty much. This is why you're known as a diva. You cross your legs. I go, yeah. You go, Mikey doesn't drink room temp, seltzer. You call this effervescent You're Christine, Christine's big on putting a sleeve on cold drinks

Because she believes it preserves the cold of the drink I don't know if it's true It's the coozy effect It's not really that it's my hand's not cold Like a coffee sleeve of the cardboard that goes around Oh, I support that I like that move No, she does it and it works all the time I just uh

Well you know some of those cups keep shit cold Those yeties and shit Yeah you got those I have a Stanley You have to be a broad to walk around around with a fucking a pitcher of water all day I'm only like an asshole You gotta be a real fucking damn sandwich

Now I will judge I judge it but I accept a man walking around with a gallon of water all day I hate it Oh yeah it's stupid I hate it so much it's such a jagoff move Really is especially when someone has one I think Ralph had this and Harrington at one time The one that looks like a mini version of the upside down

Like deer parks you put it in the machine Oh yeah yeah it's got the grooves it looks like A root bear barrel? It looks like that, but it's got a handle on it so you can sit there and pound. Go fuck you. I get it. You're flushing your system. You want you to know they're staying hydrated.

Yeah, we're all now in your workout. I've seen one person do it where I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. Everybody else is a hand job. The one cool person, Mickey Gall, because he was trying to cut weight for his fight. He was also wearing like a weighted garbage bag suit probably. No, he wasn't wearing any of that, but he was just also jacked. And shredding up for a fight. against a very dangerous man

I'll accept him drinking his gallon of water all day. Sure. He had a stopwatch every time it went off he'd pound water. It was fucking crazy. Yeah. When Pete, yeah, there they are, that thing. Yick. Go fuck yourself. Seafiter.

What an ass. It's so crazy. Goddamn ass walking around with that. Yeah, like the stupid trendy like it's got like the thing of like drink this whole thing by the end of the day. Yeah. Christine's a real sucker for traveling with a gigantic fucking

a caraff of water with her at all time. She's like a cartoon Saint Bernard? Yeah, I think the spouts on them get disgusting all so fast. It's just, I don't know. I don't know.

I didn't know it. George Carlin actually had a funny bit on that. Jacob, you have a, you have your cup. But is that just lives here? It lives here. Can I tell you guys something? I have one of these that one of the record labels

gave us here. It was like those insulated. Doesn't count. I have a thousand because of that. You have no idea. where this is going oh okay in yeah you got this it's water lit I thought you're defending yourself for not being gay for owning it I started using it here in the office and January of 2020 we never came back I still have water in it from five years ago it's sitting

on my desk right now what it's experimental it's got weirdo water whatever is growing in there I haven't touched it it's on my desk COVID oh there's COVID it's pre-COVID water in buddy insulated sealed off that's like a jetty that's like a short rookie card what if it's still cold i mean it's like you could go get it right now and do some experiments we're a commercial for yetti yeah you want to do some lines of old COVID water what's the thing called what's standing water for too long is definitely not great yeah stagnant no no no there's like a disease that can form trench foot I don't think it's trench foot mud ass dirt dick yeah Vietnam mouth I don't know but that's crazy so it's just hand my hand

A Legionnaire's disease That's what I was thinking of And West Nile virus Oh, encephalitis Well, I've got that all upstairs Oh, rodents Cooling systems It had a lid on it though

Yeah, it's covered Completely covered and like Sealed off Yeti And I just was like This would be Wow, there's water in there from five years ago Well, time capsule Jacob, I'll give you $20 to drink some

20 bucks, I'll throw in No 40 bucks it's up to You went to the wrong crew member For that move That's a more of Lou No He's a changed man.

Yeah, I think it will have fermented, and it'll get me drunk so I cannot. You think water fermented? It's like a cider. I think that's how fermentation works. Just because you're wearing glasses, don't make it sound smart. He went, huh? He was natural yeast in the air. So you're saying it's now, you're saying it's now wine up there.

You think water has turned to wine, like Christ. Have you tested what water is in five years? No. Do you think it's going to get Lou drunk? You think it's going to be booze? He can't take the chance. That it's turned to. To booze?

Not booze. Not delicious beer. You'll get sick. You might get really sick. All right, let's do it. Fuck you guys. Yeah. For 40 bucks, that's it.

Oh, no. Not that. We got to renegotiate that. Oh. Mike's throwing in 20 years. You're up at 60 bucks now. Well, I'm going to get sick. You don't know that.

You might get powers. Yeah, you may get reverse sick. You might not need those glasses anymore. I could use some powers. Oh, my God. What are you assuming? Why are you assumed the worst? Sure.

Spider-Man could have got bitten by a radioactive spider and just got cancer, but he didn't. He had the ability to shoot webs out of his wrists. 200 bucks cash. Oh, we could come up with that. How much of it? All right, Christine's going to put in the other 140. How much of it? However much is in there.

Wait, you have to drink it early enough that if something happens to you, we get to watch, though. You can't do it at like... I bet if you did it now, but then you turn into something. Yeah, I want to watch the transformation. Yeah, dude. Luke grows in a whiskey fly? If he turns into whiskey fly? He goes, lock me up.

Black, Lou, you have some thoughts? Yeah, I'm going to price this right, DJ Lou here. I'll do it, I'll do it for like 80 and a joint. Oh, shit. You have children. I can't. You're a father. I can't leave for that.

Take it away, bud. Oh. Lou, don't you want to find out, though, if it turned to wine? He'll tell me. 80 and a joint, but you have kids. I hope it turned into sane-eyed. Real black people booze? He goes, I think this water turned into Colt 45.

What? He's like, yo, it tastes like Surrach a little bit. What is Legionnaires? What does that do, though? It's the shit that's in the air conditioning at the hotels. Yeah, but what does it do to you? Kills you slowly. Does it?

Are you going to get it? Just diarrhea? I think it makes mold in your nose and... It's a severe pneumonia and Pontiac fever, a milder flu-like ill. by growing in warm water systems like cooling towers, and being inhaled as a fine mist. Yeah, snort it. Pontiac fever, dude. That sounds badass.

Yeah. It sounds like if you're like a big Bob Seeger fan. Yeah, I got Pontiac fever. Pondack fever says, like, well, yeah, that's what you call, a guy who hooks up with a lot of girls in the back of his Pontiac. He goes, did she get the Pontiac fever? No, she did, bro. He goes, she said she wanted to go home, but I knew once she got in the car.

in the car she'd get the Pontiac fever you automatically start pawing at my penis you automatically when you die from Pontiac fever you're the coolest guy in hell yeah Detroit Rock City plays yeah dude in those Hollywood night that from Pontiac fever it was it was early age no one knew oh fuck Pontiac fever it's not spent from person to person so if either of the lose die we all know we're fine Legionaire's disease is those stories you hear when the... Hot tubs? No, there's like water tanks on the apartment buildings that...

I guess they haven't been cleaned. People just drink water from their tap and die. Yeah, it's like Flint, Michigan. Why is that big old dumb water on top of the buildings in New York? This city's so gross. It's so disgusting, dude. It's an experiment. The city's so gross.

Everybody forgot about. What's up there? Yeah. Just old water. Oh, look it. It's just on top of everyone's roof is a big old fucking tower at Andy's Cup. There's just dead birds in it. It's floating Asians.

There's gun parts from like the fucking Prohibition era. I got some of my own. It's like evidence. There's like one old boot from Al Capone somewhere. Remember that lady in the Netflix documentary? They found her, she was just floating in the water tank of a hotel. Yeah. And they were like...

And they were like a ghost put her there It was a government operation to rub her out It was this, it was that And then it just turns out at the end of the day He goes, yeah, she's bad shit crazy She couldn't afford and didn't take her meds And she climbed into the fucking tank And then once she got in it realized

There's no way to get out of the tank And she died slowly died Yeah So she died in a tank And they just were so upset That that could have been the possibility That they were like, no The government's putting poison in the water

And she was getting ready to expose it Like none of that was the case It goes, no, she was just a loop off of her meds and climbed into the water tank and died. Yeah. The ghost FBI put her in there. Four episodes. Yeah. Four fucking episodes.

That was crazy. From what? That's the water you want to drink. That's the water you want to drink. Asian person. Deadly. Yeah. Asian carcass water.

Yeah. Asian carcass tea. They call that one Regionaires disease. So, fucking carcass water tea is gross. You go, this one's got a. weird taste you call your neighbor your water taste your water taste

yeah there's it's uh msg yeah there was a USC student steeping for about two hours I got the bronco pneumonia that ain't no Pontiac fever

it's a Subaru sinus infection you do that with a little local local manuka oh shut up oh there she is yeah lamb ho ye the human

the human green olive oh they gave her her uh she was a garnish she's human carnish alice eliza they gave her a fucking uh they gave her a nail salon name they could have given her more Asian friendly name than elisa lamb well elisa is all it is the talk about it the whole world calls her elisa lamb ho ye is funnier um what was it yeah Canadian tourist tourist was recovered was recovered from a large sister in the top the stay on Maine Hotel in downtown Los Angeles, where she had been a guest. She was reported missing.

Her body was discovered by a hotel maintenance worker, investigating complaints of flooding and low water pressure. I think I see your problem here. Yeah, we got an Asian rug coming up. He goes, yeah, I've seen this before. Looks what you guys got yourself is a... You want to see it? I'd rather not.

I'd rather not. He goes, yeah. It's going to be a messy cleanup. Say she's been down there about... Four or five weeks. I'm going to get my tools out of my truck. Yeah. Ah, she's breaking apart on me.

Oh. She's breaking apart. Ah, that ain't a pigeon. At least one person totally brush their teeth with dead body water. At least one person. Oh, showered and like. Oh, they shit. Yeah.

Wasn't this like the hotel also where like the night stalker stayed? This is like the shittiest hotel in the world or something? Stay on Maine. Knock that shit down. It's like, it's right on Skid Row. Yeah. The Cecil Hotel Cecil. Yeah, knock it down.

It's so funny. It's an affordable housing complex. Is that what they're calling it? Declining, but declining during the Great Depression in subsequent decades, it was renamed the Stay on Maine. The 14th floor hotel has 700 guest rooms and a checkered history. Chequered history.

With many suicides and accidental or unnatural deaths occurring there, renovation started and were halted by COVID-19 pandemic, resulting in the hotel's temporary closure. In 2021, the Cecil Hotel was re-inagorated as an affordable housing complex oh yeah re-inogorated it's kind of a he goes yeah it's skid row yeah that's real grandiose yeah he goes who you're going to send to cut that ribbon that's kind of putting a silk hat on a pig there huh oh my god i wonder if you have to pay

extra for the checkered past would you like the check look at that yeah does this does this a particular apartment have a checkered past oh you wanted to stay in the checkered past building look at that gross Spikes by 11% people on Skid Row in Los Angeles. Is that a new story or is that an older story? L.A. is a dump. Yeah. That's from 2019. California's so nice.

I know. L.A. is such a dump. L.A. is a dick L.A. L.A. is a dump and a half, dude. You heard of here first, dude. Suck our dicks, L.A. I disagree. You love L.A? I love L.A.

It's one of the best cities in the country. It'd be ridiculous to say anything else. You don't live there, Christine. No, I live here, and if I didn't live here, I would live there. Would you listen to Randy Newman every morning? I love L.A. We love it. She loves it.

I wouldn't live on Skid Row. Nobody wants to. That's where you end up. Yeah. Riding the rails. Riding the rails. I still have a cosmetology license. I can do hair on the beach.

You don't know when you're going to drink Asian person water. Christine? I can make it happen about four seconds. If you cut anybody's hair at this point right now, you'd be committing a fashion crime. it would be someone would have to be a fucking lunatic to let you cut their hair at this point you get your license renewed

I smell a holiday show plot you haven't touched a slice a hair on anyone's head in over a decade do you think you could still do it yeah I can do trims and I can do long layers

I wouldn't like take on a bob and I cut my own hair like a month ago and it looks pretty all right I wouldn't take on a bob she says yeah know what I heard yeah she'll take on three Jamal's though and a Rodney I'm taking on no Bob

I wouldn't take on a Bob I'll take on a three Jamals and their friend Tyreek I will take a I'll take a jailin And I'm still good at coloring hair As you know from when I do your hair Now Christine would you do a permanent

If I asked you to No I wouldn't do a permanent Mike I don't know if you're in the market With that head For a permanent If I grew it I could Really? You can still grow My hair looks like Frasier

crane when I grow it really thick in the back what are you waiting for thick in the back wavy and then a shower curtain let's have some fun what do you have to grow it seriously I'm too short and it'll be and that right now it'd probably be white too my beard is white as shit yeah should I grow it in I want to see you with a freezer crane next year I mean I can I can do a perm it's just a series of steps we can get it let's do it all right if you grow it out I'll perm it deal right deal Jay, if you're keeping track, Black Loo's drinking Legionair water, Mike's Grosinian and Frasier Crane. Christine's open in the salon.

They're calling again. It's a stacked show already. Hibba-da-boo. Bo-bo-de-bo-bo-de-bo. Bibbly beep. I'm too. I never watch Frasier. I mean either.

Me either. I hated it. I hate the idea of it. Me too. You make cheers into some quefy therapy show? And if I go back now, all I hear is Sight-Jobob, and I can't separate it. 100%. And I don't like the fact that the spin-off for.

Cheers didn't have fucking Raya Perlman that should have been the spinoff give her a show I don't like that he became a he was a problematic bar drunk and then we're just supposed to oh and then one day he becomes a very successful

high-rise radio guy what a radio psychiatrist he was a problematic drunk really yeah I never really watch tears either they never make him a problematic drunk necessarily on the show the idea is if if you go to a bar

for what it seems like a six hour shift a day he's there all day you're a problematic drunk yeah he was there following around fucking what's her face what was her name diane babe bay new earth he didn't like diane he liked fucking um merris rebecca merris no he's the the the girlie alley no oh lilith bay bay newworth lilith no no but he came with diane right right he came of course but he liked fucking what's her they brought shelly long back yeah and then he was the one who came back yeah and then he was the one who came back with her

and was Ted dancing gonna take her and then they fought over her and then she left the show and then this defeated doctor just came and drank at the bar with the guy who took her fucking

getting served by the guy who took her fucking chick yo by the way you're in Boston all you're gonna do is go outside and throw a rock and hit 65 other bars dude

go drink somewhere else where people aren't fucking your chick dude sometimes you want to go where everybody's fucked your chick and everybody made her came boom boom boom you want to go where you can see

you want to go where everybody's hand smells the same do do do do do do being a cock in the world today it takes everything you got everything you got sometimes you want to go where everybody's fucked your chick

and they're always glad she came everyone knows what her boobs look like and her pussy's hairy everybody knows exactly the chick you fuck

Lilith was fucked in front of a live studio audience By the way Lilith was frigid funny enough Her Like that lady has played actual like sex pot ladies and other things

BB New Earth. Bebe New Earth. Yeah. I wonder how she aged. Shelly Long did not age. I bet BB Newerth age pretty good. My guess would be. I'll tell you who I looked up the other day because I put on Greece in my green room because there was no cops on Saturday night. There's usually cops on cable.

But Fox Businesses had to go with Duck Dynasty. So I put on Greece. And I will tell you what, I looked up the ages of everybody in Greece because I was curious about it. Again, oldest by fall. is Stalker Channing Rizzo But she was only 33 She was 33

She was 33 When it was made Yeah Wow She was 33 John Travolta was 23 Olivia Newton John was almost 28 Or 28

And then everybody else was about I think the next oldest Was like Frenchies like 31 or something And then everybody else is in their 20s Pretty much But I will two things struck me one stalker channing is still alive i think she is maybe the most hideous looking thing i've ever seen in my life

what i will tell you that i cannot unsee now if you put on the we go together like wama lamma lamma shamma dingbid dingy dong part of the movie when she's dancing around stocker's rizzo rizzo fucking karen fiehan should try to play rizzo on broadway no kidding i just never thought when i looked at her i was like yo she looks like fucking karen fie it's not an insult by the way rizzo looks good yeah By the way, the guy in the green shirt who does the duck dance, I don't like him. You don't like him? I've never seen Greece from start to finish. Shut the fuck up, dude.

You're saying crazy finish. I've never seen it. It's the best. Chang, Chang, Chang, shabob. That's the way. It's Greece. It's different. Yeah, she totally could.

Oh, my God, yeah. Yep. I mean, Karen would make a killer riso. Bab do you, do you see how that's Karen Feehan. That is. Chang chang chang chagin chagin shabob that always be is done wah wah wah yeah when we go out at night the stars are shining bright up in the sky above wan wan wan wan you know the pilot like what they go

baby it must be who hoo hooo oh oh oh who boogie boogie boogie Bibop to boob-b-b-b-b-b-d-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb I hate this whole thing. Green shirt. Watch this dance he breaks off into. Yeah, that he does Charlie Chaplin. Yeah, that's a fucking I don't fucking like it. I don't like it at all.

Yeah, look at him freelancing up front. Like a real, bring a real knob. That's your problem? This whole other choreographed bullshit. Make it your own. Jay loves, you know, I hate this. Jay's a, the barber stric sand in Jay loves. Was your last, that's not a gravitron back this?

Was your last day? That's not a graviton. If one more person calls that ride the Gravitron, I'm going to lose my mind. It's the Gravitron. Who doesn't fucking know that the Gravitron is an indoor ride with a DJ in the me to love it. That is a roundup. It is a roundup. No, that's called the Chang, Chang, Chang, chichab. The ching, chang chabot. Yeah,

Gravitron's an indoor space show. Yeah, that's like the 50s roundup. You can't tell you something? I like, I hate the guy doing the duck dances far more than the fact of the magical car they fly into space with. It bothers me far more. Yeah, he's a knobbed. Hey, Karen Fian. Hey, you're not pregnant. By the way, a lot of

dark themes in this movie. Oh, yeah. A couple parts I had a problem with. They spend they spend about five minutes of the best five minutes of the movie probably starting off they the movie begins

you never saw it before you said Danny Zucco John Travolta and Olivia and John are with their parents on vacation yeah for the summer they go to the beach and then and then they have a nice romance

and they go somehow they didn't know that they were going to end up going to the same school that year since she He's from Australia and wasn't supposed to be her at all, but now she's going to the exact same school as him. When they get there, the girls ask her and the guys ask him, hey, how was your summer?

And then you know the song. They go on and on about how much he liked this girl and how hot she was. And he's telling it a little cooler angle, but he's definitely saying, like, I liked her. Summer loving. He loves her. Those summer nights, he was having an amazing. but we said we'd still be friends like he gets a little emotional about it

then somehow everybody knows when they surprise him with Sandy they bring it to him a night he goes oh my god Sandy and then his friends are like whoa dude what are you gay into a chick and he has to immediately go

I mean I don't care you stupid bitch congratulations for going to school with me you fucking nutsack three hours ago you did a choreograph number on a thing about how much you enjoyed her. One line about saying they got a little frisky down in the say-ha-hand. But besides that, he's fucking fawning over her.

Yep, yep. And then they go, what do you like a girl, you gay? He treats her like shit. Yep. Then that night, later that night, she's at a sleepover, and they pull up to the fucking house. And then he's just like, say, hey, I guess we should talk and, like, see where we're at, like, maybe we are cool. None of it made sense.

No. And then it started getting me. I just want to point out the irony of the gayness conversation. while we're deconstructing grease Okay, just as long as that's out there Yeah, yeah, yeah No, that's kind of guy Listen, I got another game

I went into a deep in conversation This weekend with somebody about Dirty Dancing I mean, should be an R-rated film That should be kept away from children The concept of it is all wrong The concept of it is so wrong First of all, you never saw dirty dancing

Not from start to finish There you go Andy, I watch regular movies for boys. Andy, here's a conversation. Editor. Here's a conversation really quick that you probably would have an issue with whether you've seen the film or not. If you put yourself a hypothetical.

All right. You're bringing your family. Your two lovely daughters, 15 and 17 respectively. Am I also a New York City police detective? No, no, no, no. Is that not Jerry Orbach? No, Jerry. Is it a Jerry Orbach?

Isn't his charity dancing? Well, he is, but he's a doctor in this one. He's a well-to-do doctor. And they go to one of these, you know, fox trot little daytime activities for the families resort. For a lake resort for the summer. And then what we're supposed to get behind and be rooting for is that a fucking 30-year-old starts fucking the 15-year-old. What year? The 50s.

All right. You got to throw that in there. It's a timepiece. You do it from there. But the fact that you're just, the story is supposed to be like, why don't you go? get the fuck out of their way, old man, and let them fall in love. He's going to, no, I'm going to own this resort because your fucking dance teacher is fucking my 15-year-old daughter.

Uh-huh. And by the way, all they did, they go, you're fired. You're fired. Now go fuck her in the woods. Now go fuck her in the woods without telling people. There was a back alley abortion in this movie. The other daughter gets fucked by the guy who knocks up the girl who needs the abortion. It's a dark flick.

It should be kept away from children. see it's a good movie it's the best buddy I was against it forever because the chicks in high school loved it and you had to watch it when you know whatever and then I watched it once and I was like ah it's a great movie it's like if I could fast forward through the music it's gay road house it's gay roadhouse that's funny it's kind of what it is

it's like a bunch of weird shits going on Patrick Slaterty dancing is gay roadhouse sort of is kind of not wrong he kicks a little ass in it yeah remember He has to be- A bunch of butts. He beats up Robbie. Robbie's the guy who fucked the older sister and got the other lady pregnant. That's my man.

And then they play a song that he sings himself. That your mom definitely blew your dad, too. I shall stop the pain. Do I know every word? Yeah. Living without her, I'd go and say. Jacob, look at my eyes. I feel your breath on my face.

Somebody close to me Can look in her eyes Don't look away She's out of my lee Just a fool to believe I have anything he needs It's about you, dude She's like the wind

This is my favorite part dingy ding ding your body close to me you don't know this song either Andy? No I played sports so did I No you didn't She'd out of my league so did I

Just the fool to believe Just the fool to believe Christine is transported somewhere I watch this movie and listen to this downtrack Like a psychotic person over and over She's like the wind Just a fool to believe Just a fool to believe

She's like the wind Just a fool to believe She's like the way All of you Disgusted She's like the wind Andy I had to listen to that through my bedroom wall while my parents made my sister All right

I thought you meant living with Jay I hope a girl you like enough comes into your life and makes you watch these movies. I hope so too. I really do, because you're really missing out on a part of life. All right, relax. Maybe you don't like, she's like to win Patrick Swayze's one hit wonder. If you don't like this song from the film, Dairy Dancing, though.

This song's sort of wicked ceremony on my, and curse my love life. This is, this song's so great. We're uncursing it with hungry eyes. Middle school dance. This song I know. This is when the, uh, couples only at the roller skating. Yeah. Yes, dude.

This is the same guy with things I can't live if living is without you. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Turn it up, Lou. Eric Carman. Sad fuck. I've been meaning to tell you. Eric Carman.

I got this feeling that won't subside. You're getting ready for a date in the 80s listening to this. I look at you in a fantasize. Just get you hard? By the way, Christine, you're in the right. It's these two I have the issue with Why? No, no, no. Why?

Can I show you what you're supposed to do When this song's playing I would be practicing dance with you Jacob, if you can come over here, please. Jacob I know this one, obviously I wouldn't play it. This is what you did this part

You put your hand here And I go Aw Jacob, I just like it happen I never saw Jacob melt like that before here. That's not the way to go. He's supposed to get ticklish. He's supposed to get ticklish.

He's supposed to get ticklish. He's a little upset. Maybe this is too gay for the road. Seriously. I think you figured out how to warm him up. Fuck, I'm sorry, Jacob. Damn, dude. Andy Fiore's fucking mansplaining the episode.

You're mine tonight. This song makes me happy. Now I've got you in. My sights With these That was the Intrinsic problem with the song, though Is it does have a lot of music

To take place at the time It'll be like, you know And then they just throw in like an 80s synth rock Yeah, a little off Yeah, you're right And then out of nowhere Patrick Swayze's own little ditty That's great though

You got his own jam in there? That was that last song was Patrick Swayze Oh really? She's like the wind is him saying. I mean... Live? live. Fight pancreatic cancer.

Outrun pancreatic cancer. Smoke less than four packs a day. Oh, that's what got him. Dude, he just raged butts with no undies on in Roadhouse. Just sweatpants, fucking kicking a bag. Now that flick, I know. Great movie.

Yeah. It's just basically dirty dancing without dancing. You just got to put it in my terms. It's just straight dirty dancing. It's just boy dirty dancing. It's just straight dirty dancing. It's pretty much. I didn't see Roadhouse because it is boy when you showed it. Well, I hope one day.

I love it. it. You find a man. I did find a man. And he did introduce me to Roadhouse. Now I love Roadhouse, too. No. I love Roadhouse. You love Roadhouse. Of course they love Road. I'm like, how did I not have Roadhouse in my life before this? Dude. It's too good. The dream of

Roadhouse fucking a chick against the wall like that. They got to get fired. Yeah. But I'm on break. But I'm on break. But I'm on break. Take it to the streets. Just fucking some chick in the back. But I'm on break. It's really not fair.

But even picking her up against the wall up in the barn, banging her out like that. I've never been able to do. Remember the guy's just ripping stuff, the guy who gets fired, and he says something smar-mey? And he's like, how about if we ba-b-b-ba-ba? And then he makes some joke back at him, and he just goes. It's such a dumb movie, dude. Dude, the movie's so dumb. It's so great.

God, it's stupid. Let's remake it with more of like a heavy sense. More gravitas. Hey, I think they should, yeah, but like, make, like, the stakes somehow. way less, but also grander for some reason? Way grander. And in Florida, maybe in the Keys. Fucking idiots. You saw the remake?

Yes. Did it make you want to scratch your own face off? I watch it on a flight. I didn't mind it. Now, I don't understand. I don't know what to say after that. It's because it's... You didn't mind me? You didn't mind it. Just get me to, you know... No. No. It doesn't matter. It kills time. I can't remember one thing about it. It killed time for me also

at one point, but it was that time. was killed going like this is fucking a disgrace what they've done yeah we were we me cue and sal watched it together and we were like building up to watching it and we were all like wow this is awful any remake the only positive of that movie

was it got Post Malone to get himself in shape thank you like the way he looked in the beginning Connor McGregor to be the total wackadoo that he fucking is I don't think anybody entertaining part of that movie he's definitely entertains it's so bad yeah it's how bad it is There's the only reason to watch that film.

The interviews after, the interviews about making it. Like, those Connor McGregor interviews are the best to watch. He's just so yipped up, dude. I mean, the most farcical thing probably in Roadhouse, the original, is that he lives with this blessing and a curse of being able to murder with three fingers. That's his legacy in Roadhouse, if you recall. He's ripped a man's throat out in the past. It's something that's haunted him.

He's the human falcon. If you recall the story, he was having sex with a married woman. He didn't know, husband comes home, points a gun on his face. And when a man points a gun on your face, you got two choices. You can die, you can kill the motherfucker. Meho. Meho. Look at his scar.

Remember that? Yeah, dude. Woman? Boy, what if you. He's dying quick. He's on Landman. Fucking Sam Elliott, man. They're just watching him die on television.

I love Landman. Hey, bud. Me too. I'm just saying, I'm not really clicking with the group today. We all do. Landman's a fine show. Landman is a fan fan. I love it.

I'm an episode behind. I haven't watched us. I love that Landman, they talk in, like, fucking beer commercial lines. It's like, let me tell you, if you want to tap nose Rocky, you got a head for the hills. And then, like, a hot daughter shows up. Oh, it might be the best mother-daughter one-two punch of all time. Oh, my God. My problem with the daughter.

That girl is in her 20s. Why are you presenting her as a 17-year-old? No, he keeps showing me her fucking tits. She turned 18 in the show now. She's going to TCU. You're 40 frogs. Well, here's the thing. They haven't shown much of her this season, like, in that kind of light.

But last season, her character was 17 years old. She's been in a bikini. She's been in her cheerleading outfit. Jacob edited it together. Yeah, you're just, I'm going to stop you right now, all right? Now, you hold your host. You don't know what you're talking about This year

No last year they had her Literally in panties They had her get naked out of a shower Yeah And every time like she's in a room Like old men are eating baby aspirin Just to like stay alive Like you're stretching

One of these rough necks Hasn't try to take a run in her yet Seriously I bless this show man She's in a lot of hot outfits this season Sure maybe I'm just saying I'm just saying like the over sexualization

Or she was gonna fuck the boy There was a lot of like sexual with her and she was 17 her character last year i thought that was weird teenagers fuck that was just well teenagers fuck so i've heard awesome you want realism or not i don't know what you're going for jacob i see the actress not the see look at yes right here her character 17 he's like polar bear fell on me polar bear fell on me what a stupid movie how about how many fucking shots he takes at the end of roadhouse how many shots it takes to kill him he gets blown in the chest with like a million fucking elephant

rifles of anything else he gets shot so many times forget the shooting him how many bullets he takes it's somehow the most difficult fight for the best bouncer in the world fight the whole man he can break a knee by looking at it by the way in a in a miami vice suit somehow go to the end of the scene where he where he's going to kill brad wesley in roadhouse because my favorite is the scoring like whoever did the the thing it's star trek level of like, uh-na-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. While he's, like, shaking his three fingers.

He goes, don't make me use my three-finger throat. It's the only way he knows to kill somebody. That's his one move. It's a three-finger throat wrist. Buddy, you can also punch him in the nose maybe to death. There's ways to do it. He's like, too slow. He goes, I wanted to fight you, but I just don't have the time.

Black Lou, can I ask you something? You said you just had the situation where at the mall they have, which I don't even know this is a thing. I think this is, again, the most. sectioning off of people I think that's why these things are new I'm sure when I was younger there was a black Santa at a place

at a black mall or at a mall in Philadelphia for certain guaranteed but I don't remember many I don't know if it would have been a big deal now they have a black Santa I think you can choose now well and then someone said they went to one where you can fill out whether you want black white or Hispanic

at JCPenney someone brought that up that's why the story came up I said about your thing with this That's so, sectioning off. However, also last night, though, an argument came up that made me think that I'm like, well, that's also true, too. Like, why can't a character be what the character is? Like, why is that?

It's like, Santa Claus has just always been drawn. Like, I think when you bring a black Santa, even the black kid, like, that's breaking the thing first. Oh, like his belief in Santa. Because you're going, it's like, oh. So is all the other, so then you have to go on another layer of a lie that's like silly almost to be like, oh, yeah, also there's multiple Santer. or actual Santa's black.

You know what I'm saying? It just makes everyone question it when you just, the best thing, I don't even think you should have a guy who's like my age being Santa. Santa should all be old men. Old white men. Big guys, so they do the thing. Because, like, kids say, when they have,

when you have an experience like that, you're like, Dave Smith, it was, God damn, it was adorable. The thing to say on Legion of Skanks, but he said they went and it was like an old man, like an old white guy with the thing and the rest. And he goes, when his daughter was done, she's an age where she got Alf and she goes,

Daddy, that was the real Santa. Oh, no, and a big. And I'm like, yeah, that's what the experience should be for any one white, black kid or whatever. If you bring a black Santa, it's just, right away you're going, I don't think, is that, it just makes you, like, stop for a second to go, is Santa black? What did, was that a thing we didn't know somehow? Even my son was like, Mommy, why is Santa Brown? Oh, really? Yeah, absolutely.

No, I'm saying. It's like, it breaks the, it's like the character, it's not racist to have the character be what the character's always been. Right. Right. No, totally. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Totally get it, because then it's like, well, wait a minute.

If they do a picture of Jesus with like an afro and a pick and they go, this is actually Jesus. It's going to make you go, well, then I'd actually believe in Jesus. That'd be a core, Jesus. Yeah, black Jesus. But I'm just saying, like, from everything you've seen, it goes, well, then none of it's real. None of it's right. You're right. Totally. No, I get that.

That makes complete. I wouldn't, yeah, no, that'd be confusing as fuck. Lou texted me pictures of the kids confused faces, and then he called me after. Tell me the story. It's my favorite. Well, it's funny. When I brought to Lewis, Lewis said if he got to the front of the line, You were saying this, people were doing this, Lou.

He said if you got to the front of the line, he'd be, like, furious about it, too. There was a black Santa. I'd go, I wouldn't be furious about it. I would just take the picture. I would immediately see the funny in it. I'd go, that's pretty funny. Oh, of course. That's, like, a weird, like, inclusionary thing that's not necessary.

But, all right, let's take a picture of Black Santa. It's funny as hell. It's hilarious. And then you got to go. And we were at, like, one of the wealthiest malls in New Jersey. The Short Hills Mall. Oh, you went to Short Hills. It was a Black Santa and a White Santa, and you could pick which one?

That day was just... Black Santa all day. Black Saturday. And Short Hills. Wow. And everyone was shocked. That's like where the Louis Vuitton is in Jersey. That's like the nice...

Black Saturday was Black Santa Saturday. Black Santa Saturday. It was Black Santa all day. Yes. So I'm saying, look, I get the idea like... You're funny if some people that it was Black Sabbath Saturday... Everybody is. Everybody is an Asian Santa?

You absolutely can't stop it from happening. I just don't think it's a big deal at all to have a black Santa. I'm just saying... It's just a... fucked up thing that it even has to be engaged it should be something you can say to a black guy being Santa like come on man right totally yeah you can't play

there's 30 things you could play there's 30 things you could play it can't be Santa totally that makes every parent have the conversation that's like listen during Christmas they need to have someone playing Santa in the mall this isn't the real one

but he works for the real guy and he's going to bring and tell he's going to tell him you want a PS5 in that play we sucks We said this in the show a long time, but remember they did the TV play of Greece, going back to Greece? And that was the funniest dude, when Rizzo was played by like a black chick. And so she's like the big heavy attitude character.

And I remember the scene where she goes in with like the principal and like the principal saying she's like smart mouth and the principal. I go, I can't separate the fact that this is the 50s. And he'd be like, get the fuck out of my office right now. You're lucky to be going this. Some racist piece of shit principle. I'm like, he's just going like, oh, hey, hey Rizzo, whatever. in the subway downstairs I literally this morning walked by the

outsiders, the new play It's wild You go Oklahoma in the 60s So fucking Dallas is a black guy Oh yeah exactly You can't separate You don't have to change history To support a thing

Dallas is a black guy Dallas is a black guy Dallas is gay apparently Listen if you're doing a play that has a lynching in it If you're doing a play as a lynching in it It's as crazy as making the white guy play the person getting like it just yeah you don't have to

like change and what was the word it was you just say it was good it's like it's unpleasant history but you don't have to change it like that's stupid to change it you're not telling the story you're almost doing an injustice to the right yeah totally yeah I feel the same way about fictional characters just like back in the day when I

went to that Harry Potter play and they changed Hermione to like an old middle age black woman is that true and I it took me completely like what the fuck Hermione? Yes. And look, I love my people too, right? But a black mermaid is a little, we don't swim like that. So it's a little. Yeah. Right? It's weird. Oh, yeah. Black little mermaid was weird as shit. Yeah. That was weird and unnecessary. He was a middle age. There wasn't a lot about it, but I don't think it did that well. The little mermaid. Oh, Bob. No. I don't think it was just like the, what it really got was just pressed from hate. Well, it's the, it's talking about the only time where I've seen that like,

It's such a dumb term, but the go woke, go broke. Thing of that word, there is some elements where that words is people were just like, you just, why are you taking like the kids out of it even? Right. Is that the idea it's like, I don't think like a little black girl and a little white girl or either one's going to not, or they will or will not say, oh, I want to be a mermaid, who gives a fuck in their life because the character happens to be, I don't think they're seeing that unless you pointed out to them.

Right, right. Yeah. Just like, yeah, I think like if a little white girl. grew up watching Little Mermaid and it was a black mermaid. I don't think she's going to go like, I don't love this character. No, what I'm saying now is like the things like the time changes is good is that now there's Disney movies and Pixar and all that stuff that have black characters in them. Sure.

So those characters can, when they make the live action thing, a black person will play, you know, in those roles or Hispanic or Mawana or whatever that shit. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, of course. It'll happen to change the history of the thing. makes it like, well, that's not the character. Well, that's the perfect example. The outsiders is like...

It's what, dude, it's so funny. Bonkers, dude. That's crazy. I know. It's like Samuel L. Jackson is Robert F. Kennedy. Yeah, totally, dude. It's like Bill and Ted, do blazing saddles. It's so crazy.

I mean, it's fucking, exactly. Wesley Snipes is Mark Twain. It's like, just don't even audition for it, dude. An old Wesleyan playing Huck Finn They had an old black woman playing Hermione Granger And she was a great actress but not that

I'm sure Not that great CCH Pounder from the Shield CCH Pounder She was also on Sons of Anarchy You got that straight CCH Pounder What a great name

That is a great name If you saw her you know exactly who she is I'm picturing her Oh you do you do know she is Also, one of the funniest, it's always sunniest when Dennis does the fucking CCH Pounder impersonation, and it's spot on. CCH ponder. Oh, look how old she is, 72. Hermione, if I ever saw one.

She was married to Bubakar a cone? What's up saying? Louisvon's a black guy. Like, it takes you out of it. Absolutely. And it's all races, too. Like, Tom Cruise playing the last samurai. You don't want to do it.

Yeah, that one was fucking hilarious. Oh, my God, that's so funny. Well, wait, but was the character, wasn't it a soldier who got like... Yeah, it was about a guy who became a samurai. Not like... A guy becoming like an Asian... Not becoming an Asian. He goes to Japan.

That's a whole other movie. He learns from the Japanese. No, that's like a Tarzan story more. I never watched it. I got that wrong. Do you think they're playing off Tom Cruise as an Asian guy? Mike Finoa, co-hosting with... me today, last Tuesday, he's going to be on tour with Ron White in 2006.

For tickets and all of his tour dates, go to Mike F-N-O-I-A-O-I-A.com. And make sure you listen to Mike's podcast, Are We Old, wherever you find your podcast? Andy Fiore is going to be at the Comedy Cellar in Vegas, December 29th through January 4th, and he's going to be on tour with Tom Poppin, 26. For tickets and tour dates, visit Andy Fiore.com. Bobby Kelly, I've got so many announcements to make. I'll do yours. He's going to be in Sarasota, Poughkeepsie Comedy Works, South in Colorado, Batavia, Illinois, for tickets and all Bobby's tour dates.

Punchup.com. Slash Robert Kelly. Of course, we also had, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We also have the help Sirius XM in the fight to end hunger. No, you don't. We don't. It's over. We lost.

Yes, but we did beat Eddie Trunk. Fuck, yeah. What do we get? What did somebody pay to come in? It was like $2,500 the last I checked. Wow. It's not bad. Oh, I thought you know guys meant

you lost the fight to end hunger. What did Sam get? Four and a half grand. It's a family member, though. Cheated. They cheated. While we do have a holiday show. Ooh. Might be some tickets available for that.

Do we know? I don't know if there will be on Thursday, but there might be. There might be. Our Bonfire holiday spectacular Tuesday, December 16th, 7 p.m. The Village Underground in New York City, get tickets to Comedy Cellar.com.

I will be in Irvine next week. I will be in uh Milwaukee for New Year's Eve weekend and uh I'm all over the motherfucking place look for a city near you at big jcomedy.com and see go watch jay live stream at youtube.com slash at big jay ocherson I'll be doing that actually I should be downstairs yesterday Thursday night tonight tonight in an hour about oh shit oh shit look out everyone the live streams are coming back thank you guys so much just seeing you guys love you and for the whole crew everyone we'll catch you guys next week bobby'll be back welcome home bobby crackle crackle