The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - I'm the Scatman

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

The gang debates scat-play and Jacob gets upset.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocerson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder. In studio of course we got our DJ Lil Witski, we got Christine Morie. Yeah, man's our black king the black tiger Lewis Kicking it and flow right uh, where he likes to make it rains with them apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur The whole room was looking at her oh wait. It's Jacob but Todd everybody Sorry Jacob, I saw that apple bottom

My apologies. You must be doing pre show yoga saw that apple bottom. My apartment. We're having a party, man. You must be doing pre-show yoga with that apple bottom. Damn, dude. Pre-show yoga. Secret towel. I always do. Yeah, yoga before every day. Yeah, I do daily yoga right before the show, especially on double days. Ladies, you listen to that?

The body is tight. Yeah. Body's yoga tight. Namaste. Hey I mean namaste hey Jacob, are you finding your center? Yes, it's important how close you suck you own dick. Oh is sucking your own dick.

Oh, no, I'm not close. I got some good. He's like, well, what am I a master? Well, man, it's a six, seven year flexibility. He's my last name. Well, that seems like a big room, bro. Come on. I bet, but Jacob, for sure, of this crew, you can get the closest to sucking your own dick.

Yeah. Flexibility. I would say, yeah, I don't want to brag, but yeah, I think when you get back in the studio next week, what we do is we all take turns one of the time going on the floor fully clothed. Yeah. But see how close you could possibly get in position. I'll do it. I'll do it on Tuesday, sweatpants day. I'll give it a whack. No, dang, you're doing this crazy right now. You have to get on the floor.

You can't get those legs over your head. Yeah, I know, but I was just seeing what, what can I do? I'm so you know we're close. You're going to hear legs over your head. Yeah, I know, but I was just seeing what can I do. I'm so you know we're close. You're gonna hear me make a weird noise and my face is gonna turn purple because my own fucking tits are gonna choke me out. I thought it was a suck chode. Dude, maybe you just get it.

What if you just get it? Whoa, what if it just pops in your mouth? Game changer. Yeah, we'll see you close. We can get DJ Lee. You'll be in this battle, right? I'll pull your legs over your head. All right. I'll give you some Alright, I'll give you a little help

Yeah, we'll put your ankles and restraints and then we'll pull it over What does walk him back? Yeah, what does walk his legs back? Like they do with like the Awakening's people Yeah I'm telling you right now I can't My legs will go over my head for sure but there's no way I'm Jacob's gonna do a weird yoga breath

Where he's like, can I, can I empty my head? Yeah, and he's just gonna bury his balls on his chin. Except it. Black Lou is surprisingly flexible. We saw him do a spin kick outside that would have knocked your dick in the dirt. Yeah, I did. Um, look, look, run it up on black blue black blue also probably rock in the longest of all the puds in this room So he's got the most That's what sake of setting racist natural gifts Apologize my apologies This is the grease man everybody know they got big old dicks which makes it easier for them to suck the room dicks Jacob seems the most centered. He seems the most Jacob's the one like it'll be a slow process like if black

Lou's gonna get it in there. He's gonna flip his legs back and his hog is gonna land in his mouth Jacob will do those things where it's like he's gonna make a little bit You know, you know in those nature documentaries where you watch the flower turn towards the sun Yes, it's gonna it's gonna slowly look. Do you ever see the movie Short Bus? It begins with a guy sucking his own dick with that. It's like a slow. He just keeps inching it down until he finally gets in his mouth and he blows a hot sticky load on his own chin. I wonder if the first film. I wonder if the first time though, if you're a guy who can't suck his dick, the first time

you make contact, it's like the, it's like the painting of God and the Leonardo. Or who is the Sistine Chapel? Yeah, it's, you know, God reaching down. His tongue touches your dick and you go, oh, that's me. Oh, that's me. Oh, that's me. Oh, dude, God had the engineer men

not to suck around dick. Are the girls, are the girls? Some of them have to be able to like, I think they can. Yeah, I guys that have like giant dolls. Yeah, like 10 inches. Christine, why don't you stop talking about having a gab session about it and look at the fuck up.

Let's gab you. Look up girls. Look up girls. Look in their own posties too. It's possible. It's possible. Self-serving though, man. Oh, I didn't.

You could lick your own pussy. You're probably in a position where it doesn't feel like I think it's Seeming was sucking your own dick Ron Jeremy gets suckers on dick. He's out of breath. You've never seen Ron Jeremy suckers on dick It's why I don't have it's pretty crazy when he was young and like slim He had a monster coffee get it in his mouth I thought you need to have super flexibility or massive size and good flexibility That's right. That's his own dick. Yes, man.

Crazy. Oh, Jacob here. Enjoy. I would have thought like only yoga masters could do it. Jacob, look how easy it is. We're not going to call this guy a yoga master. You're saying this guy's a master. Oh, is he a little worse?

He might be a midget. Ed, the breathing. What does that feel like the blow yourself. I don't understand I don't know but you're gonna tell us when you get back in town, dude to defect it. No, I don't want oh That's crazy so weird I Think he is a very very short person. It's so funny though. I'm thinking about him losing his bowler and apologizing to himself I'm sorry. This never happened. You might go back and see this guy I'm sorry. I don't usually ever get soft like this.

Oh, this guy is really a machine. He also has one where he fucks his own ass with his dick. That, I mean, we're in the first 20 minutes of the show. Usually we used to wait for the second hour to get soatious. Hang on, he's gonna come on his own face. No way. No way, this is about to happen.

Oh, but he's, by the way, the sound of the video is great. He's creating Wendy's fucking pump and so hard. What do you guys think? Does he hit his own face? Oh, pop it up on the collarbone. We get pretty naughty about it. Yeah, I guess we do. Well, it was good. Have you guys all that? Girl eating her own pussy is what I also said, Christine. No, I don't know if you can, it's a full circle. Almost. You understand that. I mean, that guy was taking his dick pretty deep. So, his torso was like fucking a foot.

Yeah, he had a very short torso. That was an odd, that was an odd. Does that feel good? I'm saying like, I wonder if you, when you blow yourself does it feel good? Because it's like, if I'm holding my dick to take a piss, there's no sexual pleasure from it. But if I, you know, if I could go a little bit more,

my dick area is, you don't feel like it is, like you're doing something little. Jacob, I understand what you're saying. That's why I was trying to do my apologizing for losing a boner, because that's what I would do if I suck my own dick. I'd be like, I'm sorry about that. I'm just in my own head.

How there's something going on? I just wet noodle in yourself. Like, okay, you like work that hard. I can't even get a hard out of, sorry. I can't get into this. Jacob says it's non-sexual, but like, there's not some sort of thing. When you pull it out, when you're like, when you pull it out, you're just like, oh man, it's out.sexual but like there's not some sort of thing when you pull it out where you're like

When you pull it out where you're just like oh man, it's out My things out this the cussing you do and keep when it keeps dropping out of your mouth. Oh son of a bitch I'm on a fucker. I just have it. Hang on. She goes eating her pussy. Oh What's that you don't like pussy either damn now just for Jesus Christ. She's just like she has a weird torso to So unattractive What oh it's so much like that. She's doing can you see Christina? She ends up eating her own pussy. She's got mom nips The noises Okay, oh you're just checking out on her. Yeah, I'm checking out on her look weird looking sucks Okay, oh you're just checking out on her. Yeah, I'm checking out on her look weird looking sucks

That's a guy sucking his own cock again Well, the girl second her decades. I think you I don't think you would feel as good as someone else doing it I think she gets to it Christy and I think you bailed that we're trying to say Jacob I don't think she gets to know well my ghost. What was that then? I said I don't think if gets to it. What? Am I a ghost? What was that then? I said, I don't think, if you can suck your own dick, I don't think it feels as good as someone else obviously. Exactly. Yeah, I think that's probably the case. It's because of the position you're probably going to have to be and isn't going to be

the most comfortable. That's why it won't feel as good. But if you're saying the actual feel of the mouth, I don't know, dude, I think I could suck a cock pretty awesome if I had to. I just am not gay so I couldn't throw my shoulders and umph into it and heart sucking it, but sucking my own dick You could. No, I probably still would feel awkward about but I'm just saying I believe it's I believe it's a skill I'll be fantastic and I just don't want to do it. I Better would feel better than the worst blowjob from a girl I've be fantastic. I just don't want to do it. I bet it would feel better

than the worst blowjob from a girl I've ever gotten. Oh, you think so, doctor? No, I don't. I get what you're saying that's like giving yourself a massage. Like it just doesn't. It feels like nothing. You're like, I prefer to get myself a massage

than get one. That's weird. Yeah, I'm better at it. No. Yep. No, I think I can get angles you can't get. No, they can't. Yeah, they can't. No, they can't. they just rub the wrong parts. It's always on bone

Frank and Oregon says he could suck his own dick You know What it says he's able suck his own dick. What else are you gonna do in Oregon? Unless you're in Portland you just lost CJ McCullum time to suck your own dick dude Unless you're in Portland you just lost CJ McCullum time to suck your own dick, dude And you can you ask him if it feels good? You could ask him Jacob Frank Frank in an organ in there buddy Yo, what's up, man?

Dude pull your cock out of your mouth and talk to us Quit self-suck it. Yeah, no, we hear you do. I'm just kidding You're able to suck your own dick a white guy Italian man, they love the horn. Yeah, the blacks of Europe I got a little bit of a panic. I called it a couple months ago. I got a panic or twice in a sudden. Thought about it both times. I'll order here, but I'm not sucking anybody off.

You're actually the panic and West Palm Beach by the improv there. Nice. City walk. Yeah, if you're going to blow a guy a panic or that's the one. Yeah, he won't do it in Florida. Yeah. Close to the batats. Yeah, very close to the batats. Jacob, if you ever want you to get sucked off,

like I could suck his own dick. We're gonna go get polished. There's a pair of right. Frank eventually gets bored of suckin' his own dick. No, you don't think. So you guys happen close to my parents proximity, that's all. Oh, how you doing good? Frank, so you could suck your own,

when did you find that out? We're off 13. 13? And you didn't drop out of school? No, the sling and dick is hard bro. It's not as much money in it. It's your gay twins make a lot of money. That's true. Have you sucked your own dick for anybody before? No, never for anybody. Just for me. Never to show a girl that you could because I'll tell you what I bet you can get pussy Sometimes if you go hey if I get suck if you want to fuck it if I get suck my own dick would you fuck me a girl like yeah

Sure and then you do it what is gay? You don't even want girls to suck your dick you'd rather suck your own dick and have a girl suck your dick get out of here I can get they can't they can't suck dick anyway, bro. Oh, I thought you were by you just love Panera. Well, yeah, Christine get into the fight. Oh Christina throw you back at you. I do think like better. It's just period. That's it. I believe him. I don't know man every single guy in this room gay or not was just like I don't know I could probably see that I mean you turn your force on to yourself now listen now listen Christine goes for It's hard to have an orgasm and enjoy one. I mean I Give one give one enjoy one. It's very it's fucking odd. Let me stick it. I like to and I like thick and it's weird

Let me stick up for Christine's honor because she's sitting in a corner now and she's depressed. Christine throws, she throws a monster beach. She really does. She was former fucking fat girl, dude, you know. She's trying to keep me calling. Yeah, that's like the wrestling background for an MMA career. Mm-hmm. What'd you say, Frank?

I said, yeah, yeah, I've known, I've known some hacks, yeah. They can definitely suck decks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna have dad they can definitely subject. Yeah You have I mean fact I got on me like a haggle. Oh, no, I am like OG fact-hack. I love it I know I know I know I love you. You're my Yeah, I love you the best so Jacob Jacob. Yeah, it's it's not like it's not like giving yourself a back my time very neat It's just you feel stupid afterwards. It's like anything else.

Oh man, I feel stupid when I have to jerk off regular style analog. I'm trying to rinse my own cock out of my mouth. Yeah, just being like, fly, you do that dude. You were leaving that horny. Just sitting there with a sore back and a mouth full of my own yuck. I'm going, someone knocks you, go, ho, ho, ho. Yeah, that's an interesting question. Do you swallow your own load?

Well, yeah, dude, that's my house. I'm just gonna screw up, Dan. All right, I didn't know if he was in, ever, I didn't know if it was a continuous cycle of life. That's called a complete circuit. Yeah, I'll tell you all of it with Scientology Church. I should've, I'm gonna say,

you came out of me and you're still my gift. Yeah, I would actually, almost, I would make up a lie that it gives you strength Damn sucking your own dick though. That's pure protein. That's your protein when you get you can get your whole dick in your mouth or just like the top But halfway down that's that's the goal Just lean it forward and that's it 37 there. That's 37 and at thirteen fourteen i can get to the base how often do you do it all once in a blue i got a house and he feels like my dick but

you know how do you feel about hanging out with DJ lufer a weekend outside of tina you guys got a booz is that like how you masturbated as a kid like you instead of christian the first day for yeah that's just that that's just silly i have a masturbated as a kid like you instead of you're a shitt for yeah that's just silly I ever

yeah you took up too much as a kid for that but yeah I mean you know twice a week or something to treat yourself you know what it is it almost feels like you're talking to a chef who runs a restaurant and you're like how often do you cook for yourself? I am a chef yeah it's basically how I feel though but I'm like do you ever like really pull out all the stops for yourself he's like you're I'd be funny if you ate it as restaurant goes Well, it's kind of like when I suck my own dick

You're like, okay Frank said he swallowed his own load like it was obvious and I would have thought it was the exact Obviously you Like anything Ike you're whatever you want to call it. You got weird sexual You don't like anything Ikea whatever you hold on I'm just laughing at Jacob's Jacob quietly going hi I don't want to swallow my own that was hilarious. No Jacob. That's not the reason there, but you are I'd say you You are the one that we feel and this thing would have the most rules sexually

Maybe Dan second I would mean Jacob or close. Yeah Jacob like doesn't like squirting and likes to shower after sex. I'm talking about DJ. DJ losing the deep, the black Lou lives in the gray area of this, but I'm telling you me and DJ Lou would absolutely let Hot Girls just P all over us if they wanted to. It's just like, yeah, and then black Lou checks out there. Yeah. Jacob, you haven't stuck in dick ever, bro. Really? that we checks out there. Jacob, you've never stuck in dick ever, bro, really? Oh, Jacob.

Jacob, you're gonna look us all in the face right now and tell us that you've never stuck to cock before, Jake. I like it. Jake's really coming in with like a skater energy for middle school, where he's like, bro, you've never smoked a cigarette. You've never, you've never, you've never, the fuck, bro.

You've never even tried once. Bro, you've never stuck some bro, you never even tried once bro. You never sex him cock Have you even tried? Yeah, don't you want to find out if you're gay Jacob or not? Once and for all I feel certain But I take offense to Christine's like image of me because This is a persona on the show. And she bought into it.

Now she thinks I'm some fucking, uh, I don't know what to like to shower after sex. Like right away. I've never done it. Yeah. You never in my life. You fucking dirty dog. You like, I would have thought you did too, but you definitely like, if, because you talk about me a certain way and you bought into it. No, I don't used it before, before there was a pandemic, you used to wipe down everywhere you walked. So, yeah. And who was right?

You buddy. I'm not arguing with you. You're picking too defensive here. I'm just saying, I think you're the, I think of a girl squirted while you were like eating her pussy. Like, you freak out. I'd gargle it and spit it on the word tummy I'm just freak out. I don't know what I wouldn't freak out. Would you gargle it? I

When gargle it's a big jump No, it's not for no adan sitting the corner all through boy men are talking about sex stuff Fucking weirdo you fucking broken branch you stuff. Okay, fucking weirdo. You fucking broken branch Gargle him fucking fluids Same fear factor. I don't know. You can still get wet and weird You don't have to fucking salty fucking gel in your mouth being one of those guys. Did I've ever seen when like guys or girls were like suck on someone's

The pro laps Now I guess I'm vanilla. No damn scour my line too. Let it be known right here. I will not suck your rosebud Actually, what if you guys really knew that I was into that shit and we call those Flintstone pushpops? Do when they try to like blow the pro laps. I'm like trying to go with it. You can say it. Don't show them. Christine.

Don't show them. Don't show. I don't want to see it. But show Lou though. He wants to black. Black. I don't want to see that. Dude, just fucked up.

No, you got it when they when they that we're doing when they suck it. They suck their pro laps to assholes like dicks It's so great. Someone that put it Oh god damn it. It's someone that pushed his butthole to the brink Yeah, I don't need to see this. Ah god damn it. It looks like a chicken heart. Yeah, I can't believe they're not worried more medically about that more medically about that. Very, very. That is horrible. They're like, hey, my ass.

If you told me that was someone's heart coming out of the bottom, like if they got like, I think I was like a fucking cousin. They got punched so hard in the chest, they're heart came out of the ass. You know the butt hole, fuck it. Christine, you're upsetting everybody. It's fine with me.

I'm good. Me? In your range, she's like fingering the pro-laptop. Christine, you're making a big deal. This is elevator music to me, but I'll tell you what I don't even know Yeah, we're the weird ones. I'm like, oh, is this sailing? I don't even can't even tell it's played on a different instrument Yeah, what do you were you fucking born in a battlefield of Vietnam? I've asked for this I've asked for this to go away He said I wish we had that I really wish we had that drop clean

I really hope you can get in there and we that up. We got the fucking pizza pervert. We got the pedophiles mom saying, oh my God. He's a pervert's what he is. Oh my God. I'm a pervert, why? I don't like this. Cause I don't hyper react to it, it's fine.

Hyper react, he's doing a look at it. Yeah. Everyone is vanilla compared to you two to who? You two freaks you and Christine That's not true. That's not true at all There's lines being Christina and cut. We're not me You first you want to see me and Christine Bob and for apples and someone's asshole like that No, I wouldn't cut we're not mean you first you want to see me and Christine Bob and for apples and someone's asshole like that No, I wouldn't let it grow up. I'm a asshole. Yeah, you would

Yeah, you would god Christine. You're so lame She's lying she would let a girl pee on her would you guys lay in a bathtub and have a splish plash fight? Well, I grow peed on you. Mm-hmm. Well, it goes a sat I Think the first time we ever hooked up when this is Kristina's heavy drink, Kristina, I'm pretty sure she peed on or had a girl pee or you pee on each other in a shower or something. The first time we ever hooked up with a chick, yeah. In Canada? Or, or were you guys who thought? We still have.

Who's that Reese Village place? The girls. The girls, like, you guys want me to pee? The first girl we ever hooked up with the whole areas little squeaky Russian girl oh yeah Russian rocket she like you like me to pee you want me to pee on you there is possibility I could pee on both of you sort of yeah she was sort of like that I want you to lay down in bathtub and I pee on your chest

he's Mr. Jason this is what you are going to get. Mr. D. I'm making my outside Christine drink my little pee pee. You're so drunk, your eye is wobbly. Let it be known, me and Christine are not in the piss play, Jacob. Don't you spread rumors like that. We're not into pro lapses, assholes sucking either. No, or shit play.

Or shit play. We're shit play. Oh wow, you fucking lamos. You can't even get hard in the morning unless you out shit porn. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, His husband living together in Oregon just fucking sucking each other off I'm gonna jerk off well fucking Frank trains be to bend over enough to suck my own dick It's gonna be like kickboxer where he's gonna have your legs in those stir-ups. He's gonna Is he gonna get you drunk and you're gonna go dance and then suck off dudes while you're dancing hell yeah Frank like when he dances in kickboxer Frank make me your young padawad. I don't think Jay wants to get shit on I don't what do you mean you think I do you just like watching it

Did you know what someone's trying to be introspective and the other person has no idea what's going on? You were looking at me and I saw Christine's angle and she goes It's good. I don't think I don't think Jay wants to get shit on. I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't.

I don't know. I don't want it. If it happened, I would be you want it. I mean, what if I don't knew? He's mad that he got classified as Vanilla like me. He's vanilla. Well, I know the two of got classified as Vanilla like me. He's vanilla. Well, I know the two of you think of me like, whoa, what are you talking about? I'm vanilla.

Are you talking about me or Christine? No, no, Christine and Jay think I'd take a silk wood shower after sex. I didn't see you scrub yourself to be clean from a rape attack Jacob. I'm saying like, I believe you, yeah, you probably take a shot or after fucking. You don't just like crash right out. Does he do a thinkl and I'm saying like I believe you yeah, you probably take a shower after fucking you don't just like crash right out Does he do a think I'm ridiculous? Well, then I'd argue that you're not given enough effort to our sex. Oh You should need a shower When we're done me and Christine need a shower not only Christine takes one do you guys snap dealing my own muck?

Yeah, do you guys snap, dealin' my own muck? Yeah, do you snap the towel? Do you guys have a real locker room afterwards? You're a vanilla, what, your shirt's sex? Yeah, true that. Yeah. I can't argue that. Would you think they'll have to be a timer to peel off? No, if I ever get Rick Ross belly tattoos,

none stop belly tattoos. It's done it like twice. Were you like, oh yeah? When it was happening, we we were like chest to chest. Get on skin contact. Yeah. Did you feel did it feel better? Yeah. He's got a you dude this is like socks but for your chest. I tell you what I've really enjoyed though Matt I'm back to I'm back to full-blown Naked in the hotel rooms. It's rolling around. Love it man. Just Naked in the hotel room roll around. That night? You go to sleep hotel room or roll around night you go to sleep at night naked

I can't go to sleep at night naked, but I could take an afternoon nap I thought I could I think it's weird to take it naked for a nap dude is bizarre That's weird. No, you don't get naked for bedtime, but only for naps you get butt naked I'm that's so weird. I don't do it. You're saying, like, I've done it before, and I like it better. I don't like sleeping naked for a nap because what if bad guys don't have that? You just said you do like sleeping.

I mean, for night, for sleep, sleep. What if bad guys come? Dude, there's so many lines of defense before they're getting to your specific room in a hotel. I think it's the best time to be naked. And if housekeeping walks in, feast your eyes. Oh, dude, I'm just saying, I don want to fall into an Eastern promises kind of battle. No, I wouldn't worry about that.

You haven't been mixed up with those Russian gangsters in years. Yeah, but I got the Yakuza breathing down right there. I got some triads. I owe a couple. All right, well. Yen too. That does make it a thing. We don't have to take these calls, but it's over a given to credit here.

Chris from Florida says in high school, there was a girl known for eating her own pussy. I know. Then a dog ate peanut butter out of her pussy. That's the rumor. The other kid jerked off in class and got caught, but no one knows who exactly caught him. Too many of those rumor mail things. There was a girl known for eating her own pussy. That's tear say. That's a girl known for doing everything. Or maybe they want you to think that. You think she spread the rumor? She goes, yeah, I can eat my own pussy, isn't that gross?

And she's like, I can't doubtful. Doubtful. I don't know. Do now we take it in fun? Now we got to find out. Frank, go back to sucking your own dick, dude. Thanks for the call, bro. We love you.

Thank you, dude. Thank you, man. Chris and Florida. Hey, Christine. Nice. Hang on, Chris. Jacob's going to insult you man Chris and Florida. Hey Christine. Oh, Hang on Chris Jacobs could have insult me and Christine again. Go ahead. Oh no, not an insult Christine You know not to brag but every woman who's got the lay with this guy got the full bear chested torso Very lucky very lucky ladies

They am right press flesh. Yeah To you to fucking bird bodies knocking together if you ask me well, I bring in a lot of girth dude I gotta keep it strapped up. Yeah, there's a horsepower and that is good See what your spout. You gotta keep it strapped in comes off the chassis or in trouble I don't know what that means. I don't know either to be Santa pretty fucking dope Chris hey buddy, buddy. Did you see this girl, Earon Pussy? I didn't see her timeslick in bean, but when we were in gym class, she did. She was in genetics. You know, full split and put her face into her crotch. That's pretty cool. So you're saying you could see, you could eye up from that

that it was like she and then and then people said she did it. Now here's what I'm warning is that's the word. That's the word. I'm not saying she did it. She's like, I can do it. Let me show you and she showed us the junk. I was like me and a dozen other guys. But did she confirm that she's actually done it

versus showing you like with clothes on that she could do it? She says, oh, I actually do it sometimes. She yes. Damn. She spread the rumor that how many years ago is that's power oh i'm forty do this is twenty years ago there was no girls that just fucking

skis up in my school what the fuck man dorks do i mean i'm i grew up in south florida bro oh wow yes i thought they I think they teach stripping. Yeah, I think that's a curriculum program. Yeah. Number Florida came up earlier and I said, the Jacob, that he lives in flow ride and he's got an apple bottom. And then since then he just bit of attacking me and Christine sexually. Well, you guys said he bathed after sex. That's where Jacob's sex is. He's just screaming us ever since we said he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's where he was. That's probably the name. That's the pro. Skim it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it in it like a, like a, a Jewish rapper. He was this kid from, he was this guy from Oregon

and he was like obnoxious, but in a fun way, I liked, I liked Kyle, but he went on on my roommate Steve's computer and it was just clicking and Steve was like, and I heard the scatman playing and Steve runs in the room and he's like, no, what are you doing, Flobert? He's like, I'm the scatman!

And it's just a woman shitting in a bathtub. It was all clips of Scat porn Flumber just went on his computer brought it up. Scat porn, dude Fucking it's gross and Christine by the way Co-signing over here that I really enjoy looking at shit porn. I don't like shit porn at all Jacob said it gets you hard in the morning if you've ever seen Shit porn like people of shitting and while fucking and all that kind of stuff,

it's, uh, I'd say it's 99% just completely appalling and you look away. However, however, there is a 1% of it that I am intrigued by, not jerk off to, that when it's hot girls allowing themselves to be seen shitting is mind-blowing to me, because they were clearly... And they're hot, and they're doing it currently, and you're just like, wow, dude, you're just like, is it one of them watching me take a shit?

Remember, it's the one of the watches where you go like that. No, that I could just watch, because I'm taken back by it. But what was the thing that, who was the girl? It was a beautiful sunset? What was that girl? What was that controversy? Was that uh, that podcast with those two girls that we hated on some other podcast? It was like the no jumper?

Is that what it's called? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember they talked to the one girl that was like, I fucked the suns. No, but I forget. One of them was like a famous artist of some sort. He was, he wanted me to send pictures videos me taking a shit So I did it. He's no place. Oh, oh B.J. Oh, no back. Oh, no back. Oh, yeah, yeah, the Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah, he wouldn't watch me do do Yeah, it was on that man. What's that Jacob?

You you have sex without pouring diva couplet on you. You're so lame You have sex without pouring diva couple on you. You're so lame Jacob, I don't do that either where you where is that coming from all right yours making that up Damn, there's some fire in his belly towards you, too. Yeah, really. I don't you guys said he paid you shouldn't have done that Jacob let him have it go 90 seconds Jacob and I'll have no first can have a rock star sex like them oh Jacob tell us right now tell me your least vanilla sexual experience in your life what was the most what was the most like holy shit sex situation you've ever had like like

wild for you I fucked a woman to death is you want to play this? Took a life, motherfucker. How far you wanna go with this? You wanna go down to my sabbatical in Bangkok? I saw some wild stuff. You don't know. You know my foxhole years? Oh!

Oh, I've heard the stories. Oh, dude, he was partying. Did Fox get you after midnight? Shadow Fox. Is that what they call your duker, the foxhole? Yeah. Um. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, man, Jacob was just tasting all the joys of the foxhole. He'd just come through and erode. And be like, I'll be with you momentarily. Dan's had some, you've had some pretty not to know her sex. Yeah. Todary things.

Um, but I'm gonna talk about like work or something like that. I'm talking about like, just like fucking pretty like goofy shit. Either two cousins blow me in a bathroom of playwrights once wild. Pretty cool. Yeah. now, you know, these weren't

fucking dime piece cause you know, I mean like I'm I'm telling you a story of like double mint. Yeah, and this isn't I'm not telling you a story like I'm Ryan Philippi over here. I'm just saying like you know that's like a pretty Tawjory Tawjory situation. You're seven drinks in. You want to go down stairs and get mom adogged by a couple cousins. Yeah, this is what you want to go down stairs and get mom a dog to buy a couple cousins Yeah, this is what you do. I'm talking. This is a brag on the people it happened with I'm talking about

Situationally take the venom out of you next thing you know your backup stays better bang better boost She bus she bing Bishin dude Check it. I banged out lady when I first moved to New York I banged out here worked with those a bartender in the bathroom of the bar We all hung out at and I was like whoa this is crazy and then we were leaving the bathroom And I was like you don't have a boyfriend or anything right she goes no I have a boyfriend And I was like what's up, and she's like yeah, he's crazy. We're manly love

He's coming for you. I was like So scared and she's putting her clothes on pleasantly and going, I can't believe you just raped me back there. Like, excuse me. No, what? What? She was like, I can't believe you just had you way with me, remember I kept saying no.

Stop it. You pulled me in here. You blew me. She goes, he's coming and he's nuts. And hell's coming with him. He's got a weapon name. He's a shotgun that he named an old lady name. You're in real big trouble.

Now just a flippancy where she was like, Oh yeah, no I have a boyfriend and I was like, Whoa! What's up? Yeah, fucking. You're pulling some moves, lady. DJ Luz definitely fucking sucked the girl's asshole in the back of a fucking tube work on it.

I won't burn you if you stop moving. Are you coming? Cause my face is all gaaat. Oh my god, we're on the B side of vitology. I'm ready to go. Black leave. Probably done some Tajri shit in your life. Nothing too crazy or outside of the ordinary public.

Any public. That's about it. Maybe me and Christina Freaks and you guys are all nerds. You guys are Freaks on a leash. DJ Lil, what's your fucking,ak's and you guys are all there. You guys are Freak's on a leash. DJ Lil, what's your fucking, what's your most Taj-Ree shit? Um... It's Taj-Ree time. DJ Lil. I took the headmaster at the finishing school

underneath the oil painting of the president. Sucked that guy off while he was giving a speech at a podium. I had a couple different things. He says, I was with a Kennedy for six months. Moe. He's a boi. What do you got, Leo? I can't say.

Whoa. It's too tawdry. I don't wanna go through 100 arguments because I told a story on the air. Oh. Oh. It's up to years. So my answer is you guys heard them all you guys heard my fun days

Not gonna be upset that you said my fun days are over wow I know minor ahead of me. So that's how that's how I look at life Yeah, so minor behind me too, but I feel whatever. I'm I'm yet to blossom Yeah, guys the more I'm thinking back to how that went I think Christine wants to shit on me. It was trying to test the waters if I was going to be okay. Guys, it'd be pretty cool if I pooped on Jay, right?

It would. I wanted the puncher for a fart. I'm not going to have her shit on my chest. You don't want to drop off? No. I don't want to duke on me. You don't want to watch me shit either. No.

No, I know you. I know you actually shit. But what do you want to watch me shit either no I know you I know you actually shit but you know what do you want to watch other so many roles Jay huh he said you have so many rules I said do you want to watch you but you're cool watching other people shit well first of all lame for crores like the shit Jay's just like I can't believe this girl's willing to shit Shit Jay's just like I can't believe this girl's willing to shit Of like that video of her shitting that's crazy that is what I was yeah, yeah, I'd be like I want to see I if someone's like I'll say that I go yeah, I'd look at that now that I've now that I've gone through my battle With constipation I would say me to now but I tell, I would say anyone impressing as much if a fan goes, listen, you said a video of you shitting as a fan, a female fan.

I'll look at it. However, just know that I won't be, I won't be, I will rate it. No, I will rate it. I'll tell you for sure that I will. The backlight, I'll tell you that I will not be, is if I, and not, don't find you to be an attractive person, that doesn't mean fat, thin, anything. You mean as a, as the individual? I'm just, if I can find them attractive, if I find them attractive

at all, watching them, should I be like, this is crazy. I'd be intrigued by them, like this is, it's not a jerk off thing. Should I be like, this is crazy. I'd be intrigued by it. Like this is not a jerk off thing. I'd be like, this is nuts. Like this hot lady sent me her land logs. Nuts. Landlinking logs. Yeah.

If you send me just a picture of pieces of shit, that has no, I have no interest in this. So let me ask you a question. If it's not sexual, what if a dude sent you a video of it? Would it look horrible? I'm wrong. I'd look to laugh for sure. You look at him and be like,

I'd look to laugh, but it wouldn't be holding the same thing. Neither sexual, but one of them is definitely like this is fucking crazy. See, Jacob? You're in your simple vanilla ways. Yeah, Jacob. Jacob, you would find the entry in a Hockerelitting video you dork you can't see the artistic levels the way you sold remember when Amber heard made a duty on the bed and we had that discussion you were passionate about it like you wouldn't watch you wouldn't want to be in the room and what you are so

flour. Nobody that happening upon if happening upon if I happened upon Amber her shit particularly if it was in my bed toss her high let's find her I'd be I rate I'd be I rate far more I rate if I came into the room and or go look what I'm gonna do and pour her pants down and start shitting on the bed I go like so on does that face? Yeah, I guess what guess what I'm gonna do on your king's King's eyes bed. Yeah, no one do now. I'm gonna do this. Yeah, fly in for it Fly private I go guys we're gonna have to do two on the next flight what do you tell it goes oh you won't believe me dude

ever heard such as you're gonna take a dump in front of it we're gonna do two bonfires on Monday two on Tuesday Jay's going to LA to watch her take a poop and I don't know like an aquarium or something can I explain you by the way if you show me this from the front where it's just someone bent over and like when they move, you'll see there's a pile of shit there. It's right back to, uh, yeah. I don't want to see you just say it's seeing a attractive person do the most unattractive thing is intriguing to be. I find that interesting. I don't want to be shit on. I don't want to handle shit. I don't

necessarily want everyone to see this in person, per se. Is that like a different level to the Dr. Pimple Popper thing where you're just like, yeah, like same area where you're almost, it's almost, it's born of the same thing. Out of intrigue as you, you know. Just I'm like, what isn't happening in this person's like that we don't know a place where they're like,

I don't care. Watch me put. I'm attractive. I've gotten the attractive people advantages. Yeah. And still I've found myself in a place where I am shitting or that's the money ones I'm talking about for like, you know, porn.

People are doing porn for it. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. There's a price for you to be like, hey, I think it's got to get pretty dark real. Also, also more intriguing. If it's like a dump, even, could there's a price for you to be like hey, I think it's got to get pretty dark Also also more intriguing if it's a dump even could there's something hot girls who are foreign I don't find even as intriguing so I'm like I'm sure that's some kind of crazy fucked up You need to know the socio-economical history, you know what it was the first time I even knew there was a compilation video like this

I think I just want to brought it here the first time what a mix it though. It was like. Yeah, it was like Russian girls poop. No now it was like college girls it was like and it was American girls with like just you know like cute Tom Petty American girl just boys on we don't think just voices like she was just an American but obviously they were like all right I I'm gonna, I guess I'm gonna shit here. And you're like, whoa, this is just, oh, I go to Florida State. Oh, think of all this. That girl definitely, if she's in college, like it says, there's just, or even if she has a job,

there's a guy who pines after her, who can't have, who likes her so much. Doesn't really, just poop around. Just so into it, but some other, a guy with a camera is also able to get her like to shit on that's wild. Yeah I'm maybe I'm doing a bad job explaining it. No, I think it's just a bummer Like to be like this person's gotten pushed to the point where they're just like I don't know if it's always pushed to the point I think some of people are just like I don't give a shit at all. I don't care. Sure damn

I'm fine being naked if anybody wants The girls remember that video of the two girls in the Maybok I don't know if we brought it up on this show But there's a world star video where they ask you go up to these two girls hot chicks young Getting into like a Maybok with Dolorean doors. Mm-hmm. He says like a $300,000 car I think I said nice car. What do you girls do? And they're like, only fans? And they go, yeah, do a naked stuff. And they're like, oh, yeah, I'm selling toenails and hair.

And all this shit, because like, some fucking guy wants toenails mailed to all of it. That's crazy. I remember I was on a podcast with Lisa Ann and she said that a guy sent her a bag of cum. But he just like, and you're like, that was always the weirdest one. That was always my fake,

that was when Shen and I were on the road, that was our fake E40 lyric. We was like, I'm trying to say, at least, I'm at a bag of cum. I'm here because it's like, so, it's so disgusting to be like, but you're right, there's like, it works the reverse way,

where women are like, I'll give you a clump of my hair and the guys like, I'll give you fucking 60 bucks for it. Yeah, I'm almost,'ll give you a clump of my hair and the guy's like, I'll give you fucking 60 bucks for it. Yeah, I'm almost, if you wanna clump of someone's hair or toenails or anything, I also think you should be checked, I was like, oh, this person might be a serial killer. For sure.

It always reminds me of your bit about full balls or sempti balls, like full balls, it's a crazy shit, and then you know, I'm doing like what the fuck am I doing? But like buying toenails is a full ball decision. That's what I think when we, we talk about it on Thursday, but the adults adopting adults,

with that guy trying to move her in or whatever, he's just making constant full ball decisions, where you're like, what's wrong with you at this point? Yeah, well, it's just being like, more of a belief at that point. So I'm gonna say, listen, if a bunch of pretty girls sent me videos with them shitting tonight I'd be like ooh wouldn't I have had of me look at this one and look at that over there

I look at but it's not cut and hurt but it's not jerking off I'd be lying if I would never swear that my dick hasn't been out While I've seen that come across my plate I'm saying I've also seen that come across if I'm looking at porn to jerk off. And then it's like, oh, one of those weird sight like the shoes times and stuff, there's like crazy shit too. Yeah. So it's like you're jerking off and you also go, like, you see that video, you know, I got to see what the fuck that is. I put this on for a quick second. Definitely. I've never jerked. It's never been like a jerk off sexual thing. I understand it's gross. I'm not a lunatic. Yeah, it's

Health big health violation. I genuinely don't want to be in the room for it's not my thing either. I'm thinking I just poop outside of a toilet to me is just like I mean not dog poop. I have a dog or whatever I'm fine with that I don't care. I think I think I had a hard time picking up dog poop with the bag. I mean, I do it. I just, I'm not into shit, guys. Dan, you, Dan, you, you're telling me you wouldn't want to watch a woman shit on a bed right in front of you. Just to me. You're talking about ill.

No. And when you're talking about Amber herd and you're like, if I'd rather be there to watch her shit, than discover her shit is the point I'm making. I mean, yeah. I mean, I have a wrong Jacob. You could try to railroad me. I'm speaking the truth. I love this.

I love this. I love this. I love this new sexual arrivals of Jacob and Vs.J. You're being funny and you make a duty on my bed. It's over. It's over. It's over, by the way. If a hot chick I was dating shit on my over, by the way. Give me two minutes.

If a hot chick I was dating shit on my bed, I would be over for me in her too. She's not. I was saying I was well mentally. I would have rather watched her take that shit than just discover the shit. Discovering the shit's gotta be. Discovering a human turd just in the wild against you,

lob is gotta be very upsetting. You're like, what the fuck, oh, what the fuck? Yeah. To turn on my bed. But I mean, I just have to think it's not great if you can forget her being your girlfriend. Yeah. I came home today, it turns out Amber heard broken

in my house before I got there. And when I came home, she was shitting on my bed. Like the first thing people are gonna go, no, but the first thing is for the people are gonna do, when you tell that story, they're gonna go, I'll be like, see, you like naked. She was like pussy. I really just take it and shit like that's fucking great. Yeah, technically I was distracted with her Yelling at me and pooping now if you were like a morbidly obese fucking

Gilbert great mom was a fucking taking it. You're like I don't even want to see any of that at all I actually would that's where you dart different. Is she gonna make a fucking tricellar top? It's a freaky freak. Is she gonna make a tricellar top's pile, like a Jurassic Park? You can call it. I don't know. I'm gonna stick my hand in it, no she's sick.

Yeah. Oh, that's not warm enough. It's coming out cold. Yeah, I gotta check this girl. You've been listening to Sirius XM's Bonfire. Hey, check this girl. Hmm. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music you