The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - In All Seriousness (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Ari Shaffir joins The Bonfire and listens to the soft sounds of a comedian singing a serious song.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@AriShaffir www.AriShaffir.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocerson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder. R.I.C.E.R.S.U.R.S. Re name storytelling show is Tuesday February 8th at the Grammarcy Theater in New York City. Go get tickets at rshfear.com. The return of this is not happening.

Yeah! It is happening. But it is happening. Welcome back to the show, R.E. Shafir, and this is Ligia Skanks' president shirt. We just played Lewis's... I'm not supposed to wear it anymore. We played Lewis's Bob Sagittarius song, because we listened to Jay's... We played Nicky's first, obviously.

The funny thing about... I haven't heard Lewis's yet, but Jay and Lewis both do desire to be rock stars. Yeah, so this was their chance to play let us know. I said, this, Josh Adam Myers is, this is like a specialty pitcher. He's like a guy you bring in in the fifth, we're like, this is exactly the situation

we each came with the heat. We got two men on and one out. Well, we looked up Nicky's post, okay. I got two men on and one out We looked up Nicky's post, okay, and we looked at who liked it that we follow call them all out Yeah, so we did so my feet is already called in today Yeah, my feet I believe him he said that he likes to watch the world burn and he just liked it hoping that you do more of these songs great answer Great answer great answer great answer Were we is there anyone else was gonna give the answer is like I just hit like on everything to get Norman Norman

That's why we're wasting our time away start time with Norman Karen Fihian. We're waiting to get a hold of She's got some explaining to do if she's got some explaining to do yeah Yeah, some of these people you could see them go both ways But Karen it's like Because some of these people you can see them go both ways. Yeah. But with Karen, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know you better than this. Well, we looked at the thing, Jeff Ross right away,

he's an awesomeness. Yeah. You were under and someone else, but like, he did. That I saw Carmen. Dude, one time somebody wrote a big blog about me, shooting on me on a comic, and then some other comic, like, said, like, great job, whatever.

And then, Rogan asked some leaders, like, why do you think it was a great job? It was Bengali, and he goes, uh, he goes, I didn't even read it. I just saw she wrote something. So I figured, she'd weigh in. I've done that. That's fair. I've done that in life.

I've done that a lot with specials. Oh yeah. Right, great job. I got a fucking out of the park home run everybody. So I got what I was. What's your favorite bit? Is that so many? The one in the middle got me hard.

Back when Cabin was like a really popular show. He was a killing. Yeah. Back back when cabin was like a really popular showing Back on cabin was really really popular and I was getting fucking hammered it over Back as it was on next week Every Thursday I was getting a hammer Nick Vatterott had a comedy central presents Uh-huh, and I love Nick Vatterott But I didn't I didn't really know and I was at cabin. This is like 2012 and a fucking hammer I was at cabin this is like 2012 and I fucking hammered 2000 tan even and I'm like dude I love the special and he's like it's out in three weeks and I got

No, I watch you work it out. I just walked away. I watched you work it out Hey, when I go to program can you remind me about this? I gotta I gotta watch you work it out. It's a great idea. I got a fourth step that I'm gonna hit you with soon No, I know the stuff it worked out. It's out in three weeks. Damn. That's right in your face right there Don't pause because I was in radio again. I said fucking face I forgot for a second. It's totally fine. It's been a win for us. I just cursed in a commercial. You can't do that either Oh really? Yeah, it was positive. I only cursed in my commercials I won it's only people under 21 and I go if you're under 20, kill yourself. Yeah. You have nothing to do.

Do moving from LA to New York get rid of most of you seeing doing people doing that kind of bullshit like grandstanding and why is no one policing? It's us only and then I feel like I don't want to be like the person who's just like, soul-crushing. I had, I talked to one of the gross battle comics that's been classified. A Houston comic, he said, I was a house of scene here.

I was talking to people at the scenes and he goes, it's okay, but it could be better because the older comics are no longer shitting on the younger comics, so we're not developing well enough. Mm. He goes, we need that, but in this day and age, if you shit on a younger comic,

you run the risk of somebody going online and be like, this guy was mean, using his power, so if you ever see me, like, man, I can do it. So the patrises of the world are gone. They're the ones who are gonna be like, come take your abuse for what you just did. Right.

Bobby Kelly took me on this show to comedy court for overly serious commercial I did. For no reason was there overly serious. Oh yeah. Through myself at the mercy of the court, I was wrong. I remember I was wrong. God damn, I remember finding those commercials. That was at the beginning of the pandemic and we're like, the LA guys, all the joke

always dominate crazy. Yours was so crazy because we know you that's what ultimately at the end of the day, if it was no one I didn't cry at least, but how are you going to say at least I didn't cry my comedian? Why was that even be on the table? It was it was the closest I felt to seeing a teacher in playboy What whoa it was one day's notice I went out there I was gonna call make a toast to ribbing and then but Bobby's like, but why wouldn't you have been funny during that? I'm like fuck fuck

No, I get that you imagine them trying to do a Sam Adams commercial with the Tough Crown crew? How many broken bottles? I'm slapping it out of each other's hands. It shut up stupid. He could have taken a shot at making a funny song. Bannet, bannet, bannet, bannet. Bannet, bannet, bannet, cuz that hasn't been covered. I don't think that's a very good boy. Who did your album work? Yeah, I'm gonna just stop Nikki. I love you, man. What the fuck was this?

That's well, that's what I'm wondering where if that Does or does not exist in her life and also Nikki can rebound this by being like guys whatever I wrote a song I was like and there's dumb I'm gonna put it out quick to make sure to be on the fucking heat of the Bob Saga death. I mean, like, Nora, like, I remember Beck, a singer-songwriter Beck. Yes. Wrote an album about his breakup with Manono Ryder. He said he couldn't even begin writing it for about a year after the breakup, because it was too close. But in the tears of grief, Nikki was able to put pen to paper. Yeah. And get it out with it.

I think this is, it's always, it's always the second person. And out a day and a half later. A lot of people like to break a mold, but you don't realize. Yes, the second person that comes comes out with whoever does a death song next. Yeah. I thought it was going to be Whitney Cummings with Louis Anderson. Oh, man. I was waiting. Do you think, or maybe Zach would do it,

but Zach would just be funny. Yeah. I'm just so excited. He never looked at my boobs. Yeah. I was too busy walking in boys. I was like, when I got a poop job, I no longer look like a chest of a boy.

Yeah. I want to know who's gonna do the next, fun. And Will Nikki be like, hey, that's my shit. What the fuck you doing? That's what I wonder is there an album coming from Nikki well other Here's a thing that's Covering death apparently that's what she was doing. She was already recording music, which is nutty She's multi directional. She's multi. She's a triple threat. Mm-hmm. I mean dude Jay You're gonna shit on me for,

I'm going on the road with an orchestra playing the cello. Oh, really? I didn't know about that. You did, I feel like. Oh, yeah. You didn't know that? Yeah, I've been doing comedy with the Philharmonically.

I remember in the Simpsons when I got in the Sain in the Brent, who's the Cypressale? Cypressale. Cypressale was like, ah, just somebody ordered the London Philharmonic to back you up. It's in the brain, look the cypress ale cypress ale is like uh does somebody order the London Phil harmonica back you up Turn in the brain look you possibly well high So yes, she was recording a bunch of songs. Peatly peatly peatly beautiful. He has no choice. Can't fucking cross her why if I get another 12 years of slave I'm like another 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave.

I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave.

I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave. I'm like a 12 years of slave. I played this at the gym. It got me through my workout. Wow. I mean, it's almost like, hey, man, my friend just, his son just drowned. Would you mind not rocking the boat? That's what he's doing. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, listen, I must say, I'm not saying on a smaller, called Dan level,

if she dedicated a special and was like, you know, Bob said, I, okay, I'm like, I'm gonna, oh, I guess I didn't dedicated to Bob's side. Didn't know they were, I didn't know they were that close, but okay, I guess there's people, I, okay, I'm like, oh, I guess I did. Dedicated to Bob said. Didn't know they were, I didn't know they were that close, but okay, I guess there's people, I've never think at the end of my county central one that's Patrice and it's like, it goes so fast, which is hilarious.

That was in my choice, they just flick it, like right by the screen, I'm like, all right. But either way, my point was, I can see somebody going like, were they even closer? I'm like, yeah, we were, but I wasn't like, wasn't like that. Yeah, it wasn't like a virtual, so I get that, but that's not what it's like, we were, but it wasn't like, it wasn't like that. Yeah, it wasn't like a Varsal. So I get that, but that's not what it's like,

it's because, oh, you know what, I'm gonna really come out of genre here, entertainment genre, and do something I don't normally do. But so quick, like you're gonna write a serious song, who's the best comedian turned song of all time? I know who it is. Childish, Camino. Yes. He's no longer even comedian.

He's not being comedic completely. Sure, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, everything. Okay. He was better at music than comedy. Yeah, yeah, but you're right. What's your answer? It was a party all the time.

Oh, Eddie Murphy. Yeah, so I'm trying to hold it. A legit, what's your breaking, yeah. A legit hit song. You didn't like, let me get this out quick before the party's over. Yeah. You know how far off it? I made legit hit song. You didn't like let me get this out quick before the party's over. Yeah, you know I've really took some time and made a great song, but you know I also work with Rick James and so Rick James wrote it. Rick James wrote it. Yeah, so now you got to go all the way down to like now

You're talking about an original comedy song that hit asshole by Dennis Leary was relatively big Hanukkah song Oh, no, Hanukkah song She's yeah seasonal to you, but there's's nothing but I it would make more sense if Nikki made the mosaic picture of Bob Sagitt I would have appreciated more yeah like I'm trying to mark some crafts yeah yeah I'm a second I want to make a cool picture of it do you do tyling it's fucking great I wonder if this by the way was mosaic or just through it like a like a an app an app turn any picture into a mosaic app now that you say it that's exactly what it is you can you look at us on your phone can you do can you look up a mosaic app? I don't think you need to know I bet this is on your regular just phone

Like it's probably a a a thing on your camera, but then Monday happened to this song materialized and I'm proud of it Spotted it. So yeah, but that means then all right, okay, I got a question. I got a question because I really been by me. Who's the ghost? Here's the other guy. Who is the ghost? Trish back down back down my mom's got a proton packed about to fuck shit up Here's the other I never read the actual post. I was recording a bunch of songs that's the week that my friend met on the road for me So you're not even like song right you're just what is the point of doing this? for me. So you're not even like song right? You're just what is the point of doing this? Have an album. I think it's just a sick this just hawk merch just a hawk more merch is a sell ship the random social media addiction like yeah, it got to have

a response immediately on all things. I can't take a year to write a good song. No, you're missing my things. It's the coast. Who's the sky? The sky. So much from a stranger. I get that that might be God sorry to ask so much from a ghost who's the ghost? him Arey, what if I told you that the ghost was a 17th century century cobbler Eugene nickerbocker Eugene don't hurt the ones I love. Sorry, I moved that haunted vase

and you saw spilled out into this Airbnb. I didn't mean to build on your burial grounds. A chief red sky, sorry we build on it. Before your shoes were just a thing to wear. I knew that you would have died. I would have buried you to pet cemetery to the chance you would come back not so bad. I mean, this kind of fucks up my timeline

because I've spent the last 25 years or writing my funeral song to my father. And it was gonna be that this was the year I was gonna bust it out, but now I feel like the market's actually- I gotta wait, now you gotta wait, now you gotta wait and it's actually what it is. Also written completely and performing entirely on the loot

It's which is pretty awesome. Don't take the ones I love don't take anyone anyone Stop all the creation problem death. Please. Oh my god. Did you guys hear this? No one's got like don't hurt the people I love like you shelf a bitch. She goes please take my neighbors father She always watches TV really late laughs strangers are cool I don't hurt the people I love. Like, you shelf a bitch. She goes, please take my neighbor's father. She always watches TV really late laughs. Strangers are cool. That guy that was a second, there was a guy who was kind of rude to me at a gas station store, or you could take instead.

There's a guy on the 101 that cut me off. He could die. Please take the bodega guy, but not the one. Not the nice one. If that were, if that were, you quench, clinch, you quench your blood thirst, then take all the children at the school I drive by and have to slow down. Shedding.

Oh my Christ, almighty. Has any, so what's the response from Nico? I've heard zero. Zero. I'm gonna start calling her Nico head case. I got two good ones at today. That's not a good one. Nico head case.

That should be your song. If she could have hear it. Okay, that should be your song. If she were to release it under that, she should have released it in honor. I know. Put it in the world. Yeah, put it in the world and see how it's judged. Because it's not going to be judged right like this. Anything from fian, we got any words from fian?

Who else? Let's scroll down. Let me see the fucking hit list. It's not one. It's not one. We looked. Nobody else? That we know.

Scroll down. You can't. Well, it would only... No, it's comments. It's comments one. It's not we looked nobody else That we know scroll down you can't well, they would all comments It's comments. Yeah, but like you got to see it on a phone on you have core she helped right her right it Maybe he can hear it And then that's it for the maybe you can't What if I was the other object? Maybe you can hear it. Maybe you can't I don't know what am I a fucking medium? That comment. This is so sweet, Nikki. Is that barf barf? No, it's cry cry. Justin, here's my favorite part. Just another reason. You're my favorite comedies. Just another reason. I would say that means the bar is now as well. What's your favorite thing about what's your favorite thing about David's

Hell? He goes, I his ballads. Then his comedy got folks. He's most cool. Yeah, he's smoke school He's got a couple of DJ fucking mixes that are pretty slick. I would love to car think this was so funny if she was like you fucking idiots I was lampooning I was joking. Yeah, I think so too. I was lampooning fucking if I was gonna come into scanks That's a brief culture. That's what I was gonna do. I was going to go. No gosh. She's clearly going for a joke You're right. She's gonna top up. I mean just go. I do. I was going, no, gosh, she's clearly going for a joke. You're right. She's gonna top up with me and just go for a vote. I'll never accept that. I wouldn't even let somebody have to hook with that.

Nope. Just say, it's crazy what you've done. And we'll move on. If you say it's crazy what you've done, I'll go, I was surprised, Nick, you got it a pleasant voice. I was talking to Rob. Then I can say something nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I see what you mean. Then you can go, oh, you have a pleasant voice. You realize it was crazy. You got it more, much more pleasant voice. It's pretty crazy, dude. It's someone's willing to own up to the major part of a wrong than you're go, oh, you have a pleasant voice. You realize it was crazy. You got a much more pleasant voice. It's pretty crazy, dude. If someone's willing to own up to the major part of a wrong, then you're like, all right, that's out of the way. Do you ever?

Both agree you're wrong now. Yeah, this starts good. Have you ever had an ex do that? What? It's very gratifying. They're like, hey, I was a real, I was kind of shitty for like, you know, you know, I didn't have to be the one doing that. I know.

No, I'm always one asked to do that. I'm still waiting for an apology from your next for ruining my good time Bonara I don't think that apologies coming but it was That that was a whole group apology. It's me everybody. Oh my lord sweet lord boneroo 2015 It's still to me was the moment. I didn't realize was the discussion going on between Dan and other people already at this point. I didn't see it happening until we were on that stage with Alabama shakes up on the side rise or there. And I was like, we're on the front

and watch they have to like three songs and you're like, totally dude. And then she's like, it's like a court. She goes, she goes, I think I should be gonna hang up here. She's like, I don't wanna move. I was like, yeah, but we're going to like up Place it's like reserved like we it's cool. Everyone's gonna we're all gonna go. Yeah, we're all gonna go I know I know you don't want to but everyone's gone everyone's gone

I checked out that weekend just for a few minutes even when people are like we're gonna go over and see so and so I go Okay, I'm just go check it. What happened to this that like? You guys I'll catch up the later. I'm just stick around here Yeah, let's go that's what happened with Slayer Slayer was playing and I was like I'm gonna watch Slayer and she's like no I'm gonna finally got a ball. Yeah, no, I'm going. That's when your ball drops. Yeah, my one ball. I was like I'm going to see Slayer You can't do the one to do the funniest part the hardest I got Jay to laugh that whole weekend was when we were doing pictures with that Photographer and I felt the story before. And the guys like, we're all famous photographer, I forget his name.

Yeah. And then we show up and she's mad at me and I'm like, why are you mad? And she's like, why can't I have taken a picture of us? And I was like, oh, right. It's a performance. It's just a comics at the festival. And the musicians. And then you're just a chick who's.

He's like, what are you doing as a favor? He's doing the photos for the Potter so there's a part where all of the comics were there and he was like all right guys I want you to all yell something just yell actually yell something And I'll take a picture yeah, no he's like yell something at James St. Next to me and he's like and go and I go You know what it's like being bullied by a hot girl all weekend I just like my chair to actually weekend Actually laugh and jazz like yeah My favorite things at Bonro in that same moment was they told us to go wait in this tent with some couches

Yeah before we did our pictures and normally and all those cap there was like two or three couches There's one girl like a pretty girl sitting on one of the couches. Yeah, so normally goes in and he goes Scram No, just goes in he goes scram Shoo He could have got either way he could have got like wow he's gonna hit on that girl or That was the trip where he Banged at T. Le yeah farm and a farm that was so long What's the first time oh my god?

This tree you I think the first time. Oh my God, the whole thing was great. I'm loving this tree. I like this tree right here. It's very nice. You met that guy from that band from Philadelphia? No, yeah. Do you remember bugs?

Do you remember what were you saying? Mumfordons, I fell in love with Mumfordonsons, a band that I didn't think that I'd give one shit about. Lucky Christine's losing up to fit them all inside of her. She had to choose Mumford or any of the sons and those boys. I prefer the essence sons. One of my favorite J-Lines, Kendrick Lamar walk by, and I go, oh shit, was that Kendrick Lamar?

You go, yeah, that or another five foot black dude that's at Bonner. No, that's probably the number one food fighter's fate. Yeah, it is cool being at those things with Jay because that's so much experience with like being backstations. Yeah, but you know how to take advantage. It's also funny watching Jay get annoyed with your guys as agent when he started talking to the basis of Alabama shakes and Jay was like, God, like walk the way I watch JB like. Oh, yeah,

I'm embarrassing. He's like, I'm just like, because you're a you're agent was like, so you guys are up there. He was like, yeah, he's like, is that cool a your agent was like so you guys are up there He was like yeah, he's like is that cool? I was like remember they had the gate closed I wonder why I'm the one person wearing slacks here And they had the gate closed because they were waiting for something to go and then we were like they opened it

Oh, that's what it was they were waiting for Kendrick Lamar and his friends to leave and then they're gonna open the gate So we could go backstage to watch Whoever was slacks and a hurry should fear open the gates so we could go backstage to watch whoever it was. Slack send an Ari Shafir tour shirt that he wore because I made him take off his button down. I remember you, did I remember eating mushrooms on Ralphie May's bus and then we walked off the bus and Ari goes, what do you think is going to last longer Ralphie May or Soda's relationship? But by the way it was Ralphie May.

He actually did. He fucking passed long. No, it wasn't long May He actually did you fucking last long no Well, I'm longer than that relationship. Hold on. We've gotten sidetracked Where were you talking about? Ralphie was big, but he was bigger in his heart than he was in his belly I love you Ralphie May We met four times Last time I saw you you were sitting on a fold out chair on the side of the theater in Austin hitting a weed vac

Our whole relationship as we hung out once or twice and then you got divorced and then it was mostly that lady Tell me terrible things about you and then you died and she was back saying you were great again Oh my god That was wild. That was wild. You're like, man, you're good. I'm like, uh, you know what? I thought you were great friends of what?

Who are you? I was asked to do your podcast and came over and did it end up being just me and your ex-wife. Oh, yeah. You weren't even there. They said you left him and it's before you. Will you? I'm really? Oh damn.

Will you, I'm Steven, what he did his food to go. I thought he hated me all the time. He would just sit to go. I miss Louis Anderson. Louis, that's right. I just fly. I just fly. I just fly.

I just fly. I just fly. I just fly. I just fly. I just fly. I just fly. I just fly. I just fly, I just never been more successful since I have to you left and Steve Harvey to go over Family To talk NFL playoffs a little bit playoffs what a wild fucking day outside of the Niners winning I would say that is a great game, but I'm that's my point

That was the greatest weekend of playoff football. I've ever seen what was the other game that dance It was Bengals Titans which came down to the end. Did it come down to the end? It was, dude, it was crazy. Yeah. Came to a down to a last second field goal. Oh, yeah. So did Niners Packers. And then the next day, another one too, like a guy he whiffed some kicks earlier in the game, right? Uh, who Robbie Gold? No, they, they, they blocked, they missed one back block. then maybe it had nothing to happen. It was seven, nothing. It was fair. And then we blocked the point and then Squirt Touchdown, which was fucking insane because our

offense couldn't get in. That's tougher than Rogers because he's like, I did my job. Yeah. I got you in a field of arrange with no time left. Which is how he beat us in week three. We got three. He beat us. We gave him like 37 seconds and he went down the field and got a field goal.

So I thought that was just gonna happen again. I texted Soda. Here he goes. Here he goes. He's just gonna fucking do it again. And then we won and I was like, it was one of those wins when you're a fan of the team and you're like, it sounds weird to say it. Where you're like, NFC championship game.

Where the NFC championship game? Wow. Not this. Yeah. When's the last count boys? 2019. When we lost the chews. Which brings up, this is where I want to get because the 90 game is number one

It's not totally the guy for covering it back 49ers almost lost because of a linebacker with the last name Gary You just kept disrupting this guy was unbelievable. He was just bustin through the backfield I'd be like Gary on the sack and I'd be like oh stop But back and I'd be like, ah, stop. But then I, you know, we got home and last night I watched the first game, Buckingeers Rams, was unbelievable. Tom Brady almost came back, but that fucking bill's chiefs game might have been the greatest football game I've ever seen in my life.

I didn't know how it was going to go to overtime because of the point differential was so like, oh, it's a winner. Yeah, it's a winner loss. And then they got the two- Challenge did two under two minute game winning winner. Yeah, it's a winner loss and then they got the two challenge did two under two minute Game winning drives. Yeah, and they still homes had one under two minute game when he drives and one under two minute drive. I was walking myrtle today And there's a guy in a bills hat and I was like, hey man. Sorry about that last night

He goes I'm just walking around aimlessly. Yeah, I really am. I'm just out of the house walking around He's like they did their job that they feel cold in the regulation. Like, what? 13 seconds. 13 seconds. And they fucking gave it up. Well, should have kicked down the middle. Yeah, the ship. Yeah, they said, yeah, it's sort of, I guess. Well, I sent Christina DM of, I don't know if you guys know about Patrick Mahomes's brother. Do you guys know anything about him? Is he gorgeous? Mark Mahomes. Dude, he is not only ugly.

I don't know. He might be one of the worst people out there. No, he's a tick tocker. Oh, come on. Yeah. I mean, this story goes fucking deep. It's like, he's up there in the brother piece of shit Hall of Fame of like brother of successful person.

So first off, is his name Jordan? Is it Jordan Mahomes? Didn't Abraham Lincoln have a terrible brother? Diddy? Ron Lincoln? Ron Lincoln, a tremendous slave trader. Super. I heard he only stopped slavery to fuck his brother. He would only sell child slaves. He was really acute slave owners. He's the cute, it's Jackson Mahomes.

So Jackson Mahomes, the first time I heard about this guy, was they were retiring Sean Taylor's number in Washington. So they had Sean Taylor's number spray painted, that it painted on the field and chained off. And then he did a TikTok of him dancing on it, but not in a way of like, I'm talking shit in just a way of like, look at me. And TikTok moves are always so gay. They're always like this and then they do that heart thing.

And it's him on Sean Taylor's number. Does he even know Sean Taylor? People flipped out. People flipped out at him and they were like, you're a piece of shit, you should do this. And he was like, listen, that wasn't my fault. They escorted me to that place. And that's where I did my dance.

But then they show that the number was chained off. It was chained off. So he clearly went over and tried to make it. It's great when you make an excuse to try to hold on to your dignity. I mean, no, no, we're pretty sure, but I deem it. So last night, after the fucking chiefs beat the bills, I want to know how you would feel about this. Both you guys, let's say you spend money on the divisional round playoff game at Arrowhead. Okay. Against the bills.

It's fucking Kansas City in January at night. So it's fucking cool. It's cool, yeah. Your team wins, so it's great, you win. But then someone in a luxury box is spring champagne on you. Would you be mad or happy? Sure, mad. Super upset. I mean well, are they invited you into the the DM on Instagram? I mean on a Yeah, this is it so this is yeah, they're all warm in there. So they're all warm and this is with their opulence

They're spraying their opulence onto the peasants. Yeah, dude. They're just spraying this would be it would be better if it was beer I'm telling you my own personal thing and I'm wrong I'm sure I'm telling you if I was a coach and they poured in a freezing cold a fucking Gate rate on me I punch the person who throw it. Yeah, Jay's like I'm not that kind of coach I'm not that kind of coach. This is so this is I think this is my homes is fiance and his brother Doing this. This is their video and this is what I saw this morning. It's very yellow. Well, and by the way, anytime there's a video like this, they're not being captured. They're doing this for the video. So they're acting. They're acting. They're, they're, they're, they're saying very nicky acted. People are all eyes are on me.

I better do something. Yeah, I gotta do something big. Oh, go ahead. Let's see this If he's hillbilly something on the better like free champagne open your mouth the skies Watering except that first little bit. Yeah, I'd be like this. Oh, if it went down my neck I'm not you fucking bitch you fucking. Bring up his brother. They don't even know what's happening. Bring up the TikTok because it's funny to watch someone ticked off his fiance. Uh, yeah, I think this is his baby's mama. Now, oh, he has half pluck. Some mother of his, his baby. It's the mother of his child. I can have my child. True that. Is that a drop or does she just say that? That's a drop. So she has, so she has said it. Yeah. I want to find him. True that. Is that a drop or did she just say that? That's a drop. So she has said it. Yeah, I want to find.

That's different. Find my home's his brother. Yeah, his brother though is Jackson my home's. Look right there, click three in. That's it, look at his face. Ooh, he's a call. Oh, I thought that was Jackson my home. Ooh, oh yeah. And that's who. Oh wait, Brittany Matthews was his girlfriend. So that was Jack's mouth. Oh, oh yeah.

And that's oh wait, Britney Matthews was his girlfriend. So that was that makes more sense. That was his girlfriend. She acts in a fool. That was his girlfriend spraying everyone. He acts in a fool's together. Brothers girlfriend. Brothers girlfriend spraying everyone.

Shame. Wait, he learned how to act. Look at it. So that's right here. This is the post. Britney Matthews and Jackson Mahomes have turned the internet against the chiefs If I was like if Jimmy Garoppolo's brothers girlfriend was just like throwing shit on Niners fans

I'm like what the fuck are you doing? Talk to your fucking brother, dude? Get the fuck out of here first of all brother's he's made of acne He's just it's stacked on zits in a shirt and jeans Influous is love of morp's, like famous brother. Oh, yeah, dude. They do? Yeah, because it's like sweet. I've already elevated myself without any action. I don't have to go.

You have to do it. Every time they do something good, people will come to me. I just bounce everybody. Yeah, and he does like TikTok dances and shit on the YouTube. He's gonna just talk dances. Yeah, dude, can we see Sean Taylor, Jackson Mahomes? What's his name?

What's his name? Jackson Mahomes. Let me get him a home's Sean Taylor Tick-Tock. He's gonna do a Saga tribute. Oh, dude, a Saga Tick-Tock? Yeah, something for him. Two Nikis, two Niki's song. Yeah. Saga, Saga, Saga, P.

It's funny when you play it on Spotify too, because it's the only songs you should release. So if you search Niki Glazer and then press play, then it goes on to what she actually does, just stand up, come to it. That's so funny, it's a sad song, and it's like, you guys ever suck dick right now, it's came out of your ass, and you're like,

wow, what a fucking jarring move. What a jarring jarring move. So I was talking to Robert Kelly about it, and every comedian was a blaze. It was such a fun time. That's what I said when Jay and I were talking about it, I'm like, everybody in comedy. People would call me, I might be saying,

this is 50 people call me and you just start laughing, you pick up, you don't say hello, you just start going. You know what they're all about. Me and that would crack, I mean, no one of your friends are gonna tell you not to do that. But Bobby said, if we respect you at all, full comedy court, you fucked up. If we don't respect her

It's like you keep it quiet. So you guys are showing respect like fucking place about this. What if we can't even worry about it I'm like, I'm like listen, it's all memory confrontation. So it's awkward But I'm gonna be like my answer would be like Nikki. We had to make funny. I mean, I'm mad at you Just that's pretty terrible comedy would be if something like that came out and you were like guys Respect her morning. Oh, I mean even if it was even if it was like her husband who died or something like that I'd still be like um why are you doing this is I oh it was a husband at least you can go okay She's like off-kill, but you guys remember when we got his medication. Do you remember when Kathy Lee? Gifford oh boy, do I bring up the Kathy Lee Gifford song about Frank Gifford.

She wrote a song about Frank Gifford dying like a week. She says something to like you found him downstairs. He's faces twisted. He looked at God. He had a boner for some reason. Yeah, dude, she found his body at the bottom of the stairs. We shed hearts and last news. Yeah.

Yeah, it's for him. He found Jesus. He found Jesus, dude. Oh, they've been looking and he found him. Do you think Mickey Glazer saw this and was like,, I'm gonna take a play out of Kathy Lee's book Do it on YouTube Christine when she sings it live. Oh my god. I forgot you did it alive I just premiered it. Oh my god So long I forgot all these things. Oh, this is back in comedy office. That's what I mean

I'm not proud of yourself and your thing that you just like what's like Or Ed Grail and Poe like a legit poet and you're all at a party. We're hanging out But hey guys can't reach my new poem Guys I got this one hard to Raven never more I'm working on some new stuff even if you're that high level. No one wants to hear it Well, who's it preparing your own song on YouTube? Yeah, if you are a great musician even, playing your song should be like, I don't wanna do it, it's not the right thing.

You should still kinda be like a comedian and be like, I this isn't right. I'll record it. You could be an all around artist on several things. It's just, is she? Like is she really an all around artist? That's not like, I don't know, man. She's even saying the music she's doing,

like someone wrote these songs for me, goes, what are you doing? Then what are you doing? then why would you do it like only one Jamie Foxx I mean Jamie Foxx shout out Fox old dude Jamie Foxx did comedy very well and then one and Emmy right I mean a Grammy I'm sure Oscar and an Oscar did he got it he made me for Ray yeah for Ray yeah he did with it he got an Oscar did he get for Ray. Yeah, for Ray. Yeah, he did with it. He got an Oscar. Did he get an Emmy? Listen, no.

For what? 227, guess the parents? Yes, the parents. Triple threat. Here's the thing. Jamie Foxx more than a stand up though, really. Let's put you to look at his catalog. He's an actor.

He's an, uh, but it was a comedic actor for first thing first. He was a sketch guy. Yeah, that's right. He was on in living color and living color. Yeah. He did that, which is was a sketch guy. Yeah, that's right. He was on in living color in living color. Yeah. Which is also a sketch. Like a Martin? Sketch is also a sell out of standup comedy.

It's still different. Standup comedy is the only one where there is a real, rooted thing in like, not reality is the wrong one I'm gonna for, but like dark. Yeah, you're saying. Yeah, like, you know, some guys, like a personal thing. There's not much in the way and standard of like putting on a wacky cut. There is. There's character comedy, but those people tend to not get as much respect from the comedy community at least. Yeah, like, uh, Larry, you know, I mean, so it's like, yeah, exactly. So like, they kind of get thrown shit. So to

branch off from that to be like, if you write poetry also, I guess, but to release it and pitch it to the world of comedy, like, look, what's one is you? Because yeah, at least sounds like it's from, you know, changed his name to be. Because they're very hard, someone who's breathes funny. They're most of their thoughts, even in dark shit, is funny, fucked up, whatever.

Then putting in a poem thing is just like, well, then you're, and it's not like a riff where she just like got serious. You make fun of poetry. She prepared a serious. Yes. Damn, dude, you guys have just inspired me to write a poem for whatever comments

I see right there. Please, I see it. Whatever. We should just have it ready, so it'd be like, non-descript, and then you could put in the person's name. Yeah, you know what I wanted to do? None of it rhymes.

I wanted to pat an Oswald Bob Sagitt, but I didn't have a picture with Bob Saga, where I wanted to post a picture with me and Bob Saga and then the next day, write an apology post with me writing in the mirror and going like, I didn't know he was dead. I'm sorry if this triggered anyone that's lost somebody. I'm so sorry. So, so if you're dead and I apologize, I don't know how that must be. I'll be back with my, I'll be back with my I'll be back with my My song shortly. Can we see Kathy Lee get for the song to her. Oh, yeah, I can't find the video of her doing it live We have the audio well ribbill much fine. Let's

Alright leads with piano. Yes, good boys. They did. Coffee, a fat shit. A hominagospal song? Fuck off. He was lying, broken arm on the stairs. He's going this, oh my. Oh, I knew something was off.

I knew when the dog was eating your face. He knows? That's what he had to do that normally. So this Sunday was different. When I came home from that business trip and the cat to eat in your face, all of the soft flesh on your fingers was gone. What makes this morning different from all of the mornings on this morning? That's where it's shitting out

there. Bees of your skin. That's when our Sunday routine was broken up by our cats eating your face. I came down the stairs and I was like, shitching. Yeah, looks like it's going to be a close casket funeral. So you're, I sure your bitch mom's gonna yell at me about that Does anyone want a super bowl ring? This your I bet you can't sister Barbara won't even fly No matter what I do your mom's gonna say I fucking didn't do you as good service. I'm gonna say yes Ethel, I did do the tuna salad.

Yes, it was like we're gonna food out, I didn't make anything, I'm dealing with a lot, but she doesn't give a fuck. And I say to the sky, hey, don't take anyone. Hey, I love with the sky, that's enough. No more people I love. Hey, actually, no enough. Don't hurt anyone. Oh, sorry, Nikki. I didn't realize you didn't want me to kill anymore comedians.

Well, guess what? Meet Lofin' Louis Anderson or next. My favorite thing to do with my favorite thing to do is listen to a song and towards the end just go, but who's exactly is you talking about? I don't know who she's talking about. I don't understand she's talking about. And then the very end goes, don't take Bob. Okay, that's who it is.

I want to write a song about meatloaf, but actually to meatloaf, to the food. To the food. Yeah, be like, yeah. I love when you were smothered and catch it baked a lot. Sometimes people put a mustard base on the barbecue sauce. Criminal how well you go together with mashed potatoes. I can eat a piece of you with a little corn and some potatoes on the same board. Why just Why you just sign a fool. I call it fork shepherds pie. That's a four-time love. Let's play this guy. Oh, meatloaf.

Turkey meatloafs for gays. Go back to the channel about meatloaf. Go back to Kathy Lee Gifford just ripping it. Well, that's where to look on his face. He saw Jesus. You're shit. Look on his his face. He saw Jesus. Shit, look on his dead face. He saw Jesus. You couldn't believe it.

I could tell by his face that Jesus must have been black. Because he was frazzled. He took his breath away. Frank CTE made him fucking be like, get out of my house. Who's that? I Played the Giants in 56 we got we got to take a break what? commercials and what have you? Take a break almost over

Damn dude guess what are she fears storytelling show is back in action at the grammar see theater February Eight Tuesday February 8th first time in two years. Guys, that's a surprise lineup, but I already know it, and it's fucking disgustingly good. R-E-Shi-Fear.com for tickets. Big J's gonna be in Milwaukee at the improv. We were in Milwaukee telling jokes. So, the Agenines gonna be with me in Milwaukee,

we're gonna be cracking jokes. You gotta play this song before you go out. Yeah, you first. You first. You better walk out. You better walk out. Yeah, you first, you first you better walk souls now to old friends. You better walk out to it. I will. He paused like he's like I don't want to but they realize there's no way out so.

Yep. January 27th is the 29th JLB at the Milwaukee improv. Then he's going to be at the Addison improv February 3rd through the 5th and then Caroline's right here New York City February 18th. New York City February 18th For tickets and other two days visit big J comedy dot want to make it like a friend I'm gonna go like a friend fest. We're gonna have a bunch of people hang in this box You'll also be doing comedy in Rochester. You are a comedy of the Carlson. That's February 3rd to the 5th Dan's got a February to remember coming up and acne. I always want to go to acne. You ever gonna be there?

I love it. He will be there. I will. In Minneapolis February 17th 18th and 19th. You've been listening to Sirius XM's bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows. Always on Sirius XM. We'll be back every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM.