The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Is This Free?

Episode Date: September 29, 2023

The crew prepares to fly to Vegas and Jay brushes up on his one-note impressions.

And now the bonfire with Big J.O.K.R.S.S have a little man in front of me right now, a little adorable, a little adorable British body man. Yeah, that's what you got, Jacob, with a British body. Let me put my cans on, that's what this is. The Bond Fire. This is our pre-record show, but as we speak right now, we are all getting ready for the pre-party of Skankfest in Las Vegas right now. We were all, probably were on the same plane until we find out DJ Liu, who I said, I'll get into the lounge. You can get Jacob in and I'll get Lewin lose flying jet blue. He's doing it. I didn't know I'm very jealous of his terminal though

We are in the worst terminal in America It's actually the best terminal now. I'll tell you why I have at it try try me. I'll tell you why new lounge life Brand new lounge JFK. Yeah, you might have to leave it though 45 minutes early if your gate isn't 21 or 22 it's Insanely big that they shouldn't make gates that far away. Here's what you do You just limp a little bit the guy comes in the cart you jump on the cart Tell him the thing we throw him a fennel throw a little five bucks and we drives right to our gate. I'll limp

I will limp to get on a plane early. I won't limp to get driven. Do you want to do something really cool? Yeah. Do you want to do something? You want to do lounge life, Excel? You can pay for this, the pay for it thing. We go red vest. How do we do it?

200 bucks. Red vest. Our friend Michelle says do this all the time. They meet you outside, right? They meet you in the lounge. They walk you through a special door. They take you in a car and they'll bring you on the you board the plane before everybody.

Really? You board the plane before a woman with a kid who's paralyzed who is in the army. Who's in the military? That's great. I do. I want to jump over her with my nimble legs. Yeah.

So we could we could just ball it out and do that. Red vest it. Red vest it. Yeah, Framesh says it's great. I think they'll only check you in and everything. A woman comes up in a red vest and goes, It's called Sierra's Service. Mr. Kelly, Mr. Ocasin, please come with me.

You're ready to board and they take you on the plane. So when everybody else gets on the plane, you're ready to board. And they take you on the plane. So when everybody else gets on the plane, you're starting at the lounge though. I'm saying this service starts outdoors, I believe. No, they get you in the lounge. So you'll be chilling in the lounge. You get to the lounge. We have our little espresso.

But it helps with check-in also. Dude, you checked in already. You check in, I check in. You can meet them at the front. I check in, I check a bag. You check a bag, because you can meet them at the front I check in I check it back You check a bag because you're you rhyme with bag. No, it's not why What a clever way do so good at radio bingo and I can't say the word because Jim might be listening you bag Yeah, dude, I don't I don't check dude check

Hey Jacob, do you get lunch here or do you bag it? The bag Capital's in the world now that wasn't us. That's Tom Brennan I can't believe you check a bag. Why my toy lethries What are you talking about? How many colognes do you take? Exotic asshole. It's not colognes.

It's a normal size toothpaste. It's a deodorant that I use can. Two things. You have a can? Yeah. My tough act and tenactin spray. I know why you have to check. My creams and salves, dude.

I know why you have to check. Why? I know why you have to check. My creams and salves, dude. I know why you have to check. Why? I know why you have to check. Go on, I'll agree with you. If you're right. Your drugs. Oh, I do check my drugs also, yeah. You check your drugs and you check your little,

your, your, your, your, your, Chihuahua. You have a pet Chihuahua that you carry with you. I don't have a Chihuahua, but I do have drugs. Yes, black, lieu, your thoughts? I just want to ask since you guys travel so much, mostly J, whoa about this one. No, no, about the drugs. Okay.

It's better to check it than actually put it into your toiletries on your carry on because I was always told the carry on. Why don't do my toiletries and the carry on because they're too big? No, I just put it in my, in my Louis bag that I pack. It's there. Also, most places you go, there's very few places now where if you're bringing it from somewhere like where it's legal, like they're looking for, you know what I mean?

Like they're not really looking for that, like it's legal most places now. So that's the thing, but I check it almost uh, just get out of the way like anything else, do you know what I mean? I'm the same way with the drugs and also electronics. Last time I came home, they stopped me for about an hour because I had electronics like DJ bullshit equipment. Oh yeah, they'll get you with that too, but my... Well, because that looks like a bomb going through the extra.

Do you have pre-check, Lou? What? Yeah, see, that's the problem. You have TSA pre-check, my. You have clear? I don't do anything. I'm not busy traveling. I don't live your guys lives. Did you do even more seats? Even more seat on jet. More space even more space this guy

I did it on Delta and it wasn't that great. I didn't make me happy. Yep, Jepp Jeppeludo though you have even more space you get to board differently by the toilet I board the toilet section What that mean? There's a toilet up front and the toilet in the back. You talking about back toilet? Whatever, still smells the same. Oh, no, but depending where you're at. Yeah, back toilet.

Dude, even more space you board before the rest of them. It's only 50 bucks. I'll give it to you. Why do I want to be there before everyone else? You get on the plane. So it's easier on you're not waiting on the line in the jet bridge because some elderly piece of shit Decide they were gonna sit down for why don't we let the old on first and they're all on aisles

That's what holds everything up. They put the elderly in aisles and they put them on the plane first So then when everyone has to go hey, I'm in the window seat They this happened to me last week. They're Can you hold the and every and now there's just 50 people behind me, because I can't get out of the way. She asked it was insane. Put the old on last, old on last, crippled on last.

You can't win because then if it's a long flight, then they have to pee a couple of times, you have to get up every time now. No, you're not that you have to put them in the aisles They do make but before that reason, oh put them on ice you put them on last on the plane They do make the cripple people get off the plane last which I enjoy yeah Sit in there with their crutches Fuck out of here. I hope you don't the catch hope you don't have to catch a layover you piece of shit Don't yeah, limp dick limp dick computer. Diggest computer just went limp.

What's wrong, our computer arms don't work here, the series XF. Put it in the pile with the 4K cameras, why don't you? They work. And they want them too. They work if you turn them on, if there's somebody here turn them on, I'll tell you what.

If we have somebody very famous coming in. Camille and Bobby get raises if I inform them, because they both have green lights on them. If we turn them off, we'll save a little electricity. Can me and Bobby get that camera electricity cash? We just helped them out so much. What? Who's chimed up?

That's when I get happy it's inside me. It's a sound from inside me. That's from Bobby's heart. He's like a care bear. Yeah, it's my heart. I'm a troll. Bobby's a wish troll. Hey, Lou, can you please just upgrade? It makes me sick to my stomach that you're going to wait. First of all, Jeff K. Jeppeloo.

I travel. I travel all the time. Here's the thing. What's going to happen? You're going to be in a line. In the line of Jeff K. Jeppeloo is the worst. At least even more seats, you get to go around the other side and cut that line to get through security. Oh, yeah. And getting on the plane, dude, you get the first five rows. Even more speed, that's what that is. Yes, it's everything, but you get even more seat, you get even more speed.

You get all that for 50 bucks. I get up great now. Yes. With my flight in two days. Do it. See if it's available. I ride the bus every day. This is better. I don't agree now. Yes. With my flight in two days. Do it. See if it's available. I ride the bus every day.

This is better. I don't mind being one of the many. I bet your chick loves being in a seat where you can't recline and you're in front of the shitter. Yeah, she likes luxury. She doesn't like this. And it took four hours to get on the plane. Yeah, Lou, we got you, buddy.

I got you. We'll pay. We have it. Even more space at, bro. Dude, even more space at tonight. Check if you're on Delta, right? Yeah. You'll be in the lounge with us. What time do you guys get there? Bobby gets there, I think, the night before. It's crazy how early he gets there. He knows people by the time I get there. I would normally get in there an hour before, but I want to eat. I get I get there if we have a 7 a.m. flight which means we board at 630 I'll be there at 430.

Jesus. I'll be there 5. I'll be there 5 because the lounge opens at 5 I believe correct? 530 maybe. 5 I think it's 5. I think it's 5. I think it's 5. So I get there at 5.

I'll be at the I'll be at the 1st. I'll be once as a pause and you kind of want your applause to get it. I want the applause dude. When you come to when you come to lounge life the whole staff stands at the top of the escalator. That's at JFK. I mean, look what I'm doing. But JFK too, they applaud you. Do they applaud a guest?

Yes, they don't know. You're with us. Once you're in, you're in. I'm afraid they're gonna stop. You don't have a certain bracelet that says guest. You're one of us. Just act as if you've been in before. One of us.

Of course. Act like you've been there. One of us. One act as if you've been there before. Of course. Act like you've been there. I'm thinking of you. I'm thinking of you. I'm one of us. Don't freak people out. Yeah. Don't freak people out with your lack of, yeah.

I went in with, I went in with, Fenoi this week, I brought him in. He was like a mimosa and he was like, now they're like, I'm like, get the fuck in my mimosa when you walk in. There's a guy here making special mimosas. He take a mimosa. Early. Of course. Get the fuck in my mouth so when you walk in there's a guy here making special the most is he take him the most early Of course don't grab something to go is this free? Oh

It's all free. You're gonna be a fool. Yeah, unless you go to the bar and order like a bloody Mary or something that'll cost you a couple bucks But do they have a donut rack with all different donuts in the morning? Oh, I prepare food for the flight. No, well, that's fine. Do you keep it in your bag? What do you mean it? I have a bag. Yeah, we know you have a bag. Yeah. I have a backpack for the plane.

You're a big bag. Yeah, you're a big bag because you bag it on the plane. Yeah, like a real bag it. How many long flight I have to make a full like I make a and like an elaborate wrap. Yeah. Right. You put how many you have you have a lot of bags. Don't you? Yeah. Yeah. That's real bag behavior. Yeah. What do you guys do for a long flight? We don't bag it. Yeah. I'll tell you whatever I do. I want bag it like some bag. Oh, well, you're getting the treatment on the plane too.

I'm going back with the garbage after I leave the lounge. You can have my cookie. Why are we? They're gonna send it to the... I'll send it back. Where are my words last couple days? Just going through people's heads. I was no one getting jokes ever.

Which boss yesterday? I don't know why you killed it. We should have done that for the five years. I sort of feel bad. Why? He's not. He was so lost and what was happening. I also tend to worry, I'm like, are we fucking up? And the crowd also has no idea what's happening? If I was listening, I feel like I would get that and I would love that. But I did start to feel I'm like, Rich was so like, you know what it was? It wasn't hitting enough in the room. The ridiculousness of him going like,

you wrote that last night and you're shed with a cigar. We didn't just write that now. He wouldn't be around for five years. So we don't have to worry about that. But I think we should have done that bit every time he came in. We could do it again. He'll not he's already done. He called me today about it. You didn't write that? I was like, no, no, no, no, it's done. Yeah. We could just whatever the next thing is. You can do it. Like he's doesn't you think I'll forget? He'll fall for a different

thing all over again. That doesn't have to be AI writing. You know what? Next time let's always make it something with AI next time make it an AI drawing Because he knows I did go to art school right you know like I drew this I drew this if you rich I'll have I have a guy that has AI he'll I'll draw a Bonnie naked. I'll make a painting a Bonnie naked. Yes. I'll do that tonight Oh, you'll actually do it. I'll I won't I'll have it done. I'm not gonna paint it. Yeah, so it's got to be perfect. Yeah, it's a wonderful pick. I'm gonna do it now. Make her tits realistic. I'm making a little tiny Canadian droopy titties. Wife boobs still looks like my boobs now. Just some some wife boobs wife. Dits. my boobs now. Yeah, just some wife boobs. Wife dits.

Look, she's just stunning and gorgeous, wife boobs. I didn't have any little side effects from the two vaccines I took at one time. So yesterday I was having a crazy migraine. And while this was going on, I thought I was having a fever dream like this wasn't really happening. And I knew it was going on,

but I just didn't believe it. That's why I didn't react. I would have laughed heartily. Are you having one now? Yeah. I brought my Elvis glasses so that I could keep off the migraines. Really? It's written like that. How do you like them? How do you like us? I like it. I like it. You're right dude. What's going on? I'm telling you, I've been getting migraines since I got the vaccine.

It sucks. Did you have a migraine problem before? Yeah, it triggers it. Do you have to got the vaccine it sucks. Did you have a migraine problem before? Yeah triggers it Do you have to get the vaccine to work here? No, I just I'm a risk category What's your yeah, why I got lung damage from the vaccines? No from life from smoking 30 years. Oh, okay, Lou. I don't know if you read that one article, but smoking stops you from getting COVID. No, you're right. You read that one article that I read? Way early in COVID, it, it suppresses it. Believe you, I'm not seeing any benefits. It fogs it out.

No, the benefits are definitely there. Oh, yeah. You voice your coughing up your ball that shit. Did you get the vaccines? The originals. Yeah, you got to. Yes. Are you going to get another one? Are you going to go for the booster and all that stuff? They're telling you to get now. It's like if I was walking by a CVS, they were like, we're taking walkins and it's like, Hey, and tomorrow, by the way, your only

plan is sitting home and like watching TV or playing video games. Yeah. But if that never happens, I probably much like the flu shot will never get it. I don't think I'll ever get it. You get it. You'll get it. I got it today. You got it today. Why? Total bag. I want to borrow my glasses. Yeah. Total bag move. Yeah. I did a coming to bag. It's kind of where I don't want to lose like people tell me that the one thing that would drive me nuts is losing your sense of taste and smell.

I think you're that happening anymore with COVID. Yeah, a few days it's fine. I don't want to lose it. I lost my sense of smell. My mom lost it hasn't come back. Wow. She cannot taste food. It drives her nuts.

Who? My mom. She never got a taste book never That's that that's got a drive you nuts. You can't enjoy food Yeah, that's that's driving her nuts. Yeah, she hates it because I can't I can't taste anything I don't know what anything tastes like that's rare be great if you really like to go down on girls Oh, that'd be crazy. Yeah, oh if you couldn't taste it you get any piece of garbage trash woman You see you go how about I fight your pussy will you do that thing for me? You'll eat this pussy go. I don't care

I taste and smell nothing. Did you ever get this blindfold myself and eat your gross box? Stop looking at me. They have those, I think they're not so berries from Japan or something. You can chew on them and then anything tastes sweet. Like you could eat it lemon and it tastes like a piece of cake. Really? Yeah. I wonder if that would work on vagina.

Oh, pasta. Imagine. We should do it. We should do a test in the studio. It makes it taste like kale. You'd be in the eat your gross box. We should do it. We should do a test in the studio. Make it taste like kale. All you to bean, then eat your gross box. You need my butt. It's a bean.

It's a bean. Or a berry. Or a berry. Or a nut. Or a nut. The bean's been, that was introduced just now. It was berry or nut. Now maybe also a bean.

It could be a fluid for all we know. It's definitely a bean, Barry or not. I'm pretty sure it's a nut or a bean. I think it's a bean. Bean, type in bean that makes everything taste sweet. Type in bean, Barry, nut. JAP nonsense. Dude, I got it.

It works. If you chew on it, you could literally take a bite of a lemon and it doesn't taste sour at all. That's what you were doing. You're ninja training out in the temple? That's what I was doing my ninja training out in the temple. Oh, okay. Well, then I am going to take that face value.

I was climbing a tree. Damn. With my claws. With your ninja claws? With your ninja claws? Yeah. And I threw a ball of smoke Yeah, there it is right there and go the unexpected sweetness of red beans. No, that's not it. It was a bean come on

Wait, all right. Let me try it. It's not being all try Barry try Barry Somebody and then answer that throw nut Somebody. Somebody. And then after that, throw nut. Huh. Uh. Snod's and berries. No, it's not a snod's and berry.

Miracle fruit. Miracle fruit. There you go. Is that it? Mmm. Eating the sour food. It makes sour foods taste sweet. That's right.

That's it. It's called Miracle Fruit. That's it. Miracle fruit. It's also called the Miracle Berry. Evergreen shrub of the family. Sapatissing. Hello. Yep. Sorry. Uh. That's it, miracle fruit. It's also called the miracle berry evergreen shrub of the family, sapatise, hello? Yep.

Sorry. Oh, sapatise. Grown for its mild fruits that make subsequently eaten sour foods taste sweet. So not anything. We'd have to be sour. So if a girl just jogged or did a whole treadmill workout and then it would make it taste sweet.

Take a make it taste like a piece of cake. If her pussy tastes fine already, it would make it taste sweet. Take me get a piece of cake. If her pussy tastes fine already, it would make it taste better. What it though, it seems like it only affects sour. Well, what what vagina doesn't taste sour a little sour a little. It's always a little smell like dirty pussy. Okay, well Christine brings a big strong point I guess. I mean, it's always a little tang. Of course, I guess. I mean, there's always a little tang. Of course.

A little. A little. Yeah, unless it was just rinsed out in the odds of that or low. Right. Yeah, I've had a sour one. You've had a sour one. Yeah, I've had where in the pussy, you taste the ass. I'm sure he's lying on a stomach and a good time.

Class of case for ass went into her pussy again. It's a sick hoodie, black loo. We trying to say something black loo before I thought you were trying to say something. Oh, I was just going to throw in an idea for the boss AI thing. We should write a shitty stand up and use his voice. So he's confused on whether he ever did it or not. Oh, he's a cake. You're talking to the right guy.

I could go on him. I could. My man. Oh, or no, no, no. Here's how we freak him out. So we have that. Do the AI of, yeah, you're saying of his voice doing it. Yes.

Like a shitty stand up that he's never done before. And have him say like, yeah, ridiculous and big voice. I go, when was this set from? Yes. But we have to question you about something. Where is the sick? Because he's not going to get, that's also AI. We have to remember that he's 66,

and this might affect his brain. I hate that he's 66. He shouldn't have said that. Why? He's a lot younger. You thought Vos was younger than 66? I was going to be than 66. He's been doing comedy since the early 60s. No, he told with any young man. Yeah. You didn't know

that? Yeah. He was on the, uh, he carried his violin case. He was on the Smothers Brothers. He's made his debut on the Smothers Brothers show. Are you joking or really? What a bag. Are you joking or really? What a bag. What a bag you are. Haha. He's good Lord. What a bag. What a bag.

No, he's 66 for sure. I mean, he looks, we got to get him credit. It's still fantastic. That's why it's throw me on. He does look good. It looks great and still relevant in this too. Absolutely. It's just fantastic. Funny.

Yeah, he's funny. All that said, he's an older gentleman who doesn't understand the world around him and technology, so we should exploit that by having him say, maybe some super offensive things. That's what you do. You freak him out by playing, it's like, I didn't say that on a thing. He'll actually be like, no, he'll be like, I, you recorded that? That was between me and you and a Buffalo parking lot.

Oh man, I so badly can't wait to have Vos AI. You wish you record, I mean, go the other way. Do something corny and just cheesy. Okay. Just cheesy corny. You know, do what was this set? What would you do that? Or put like, or do it like,

you could actually do it to give like Hannah Gatsby's, ah, like part of her special. Yes. Just involves voice. We should get all, we should get clipped, we should get jokes from all women's specials and put it in Vos's voice. Yeah.

Can you do that now, like a little sample loop? Can you just tell your program to give one or two lines? I think you have to play it a minute or something or which is voice. Oh, right. OK. And the more you train it, the better it gets at it. So it's first try is not going to be just like him,

but it's fifth try will be perfect. So it's the opposite of Voss in real life. Yes. Oh, I love it. And then, yeah, I agree with that something cool Yeah, all women maybe take something like one of those I didn't thought we call them showcases Like women of a certain age where it's like coplets and Leanne Morgan all those Tammy Pasquetelli. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Perfect. She's perfect. Yes, Judy gold

Yes When were these jokes? When did you do these? It's Judy. Show. Did you see the photo I put in the chat of Rosie O'Donnell? And oh my God. Yes.

What's your name? What's your name? Kathy, a Gryffind. Kathy Griffin. I mean, bro, there's a time to stop showing your face. Well, you know, it's, it's, it's not. Kathy Griffin looks as on video looks as good as ever because she just keeps getting carved

up. So she puts filters on. If you saw on person, she probably looks insane. I, there are, there are photos of her in person. You can see them. The photo that everybody, it's on, is it on the bonfire social media? Do we put the, the Kathy, german and Rosie O'Donnell Rosie O'Donnell I said she looks

Fucking crazy. I mean she was like an old professor. She has her lips are gone. It looks like she is good Those weird teeth that come and I swear I mean this and this is not gonna be popular This is not gonna be popular and this is not gonna be popular. And this is fat kid shit. When she was in that movie, and she put on the long, remember like the island movie or whatever? She put on the BMS stuff. Whenever that BDSM, I was like,

okay, I was like, I take a swipe earlier, a cute enough face. You know, I mean, cute enough face. And like, you know, body was like, yeah, you know, that wouldn't be a bad pull for me. League of their own, she was all right.

Both Chubby. She aged like fucking hell. Yeah. They both became old times. You can tell she was a bass player in the Grateful Dead or something like, oh my God, and that Kathy Griffin picture. I just saw a video, Kathy Griffin. She looks, she looks like my grandmother right there. Kathy Griffin pitch I just saw a video Kathy Griffin. She looks in she looks like my grandmother right there

Kathy Griffin and she I thought she was just cute when she was younger just generally speaking cute. I mean, it's bad And then where are they a couple or something? No, they're just two lesbians Well, she's actually Kathy's not a lesbian. She's just a bagag But oh, this is what I don't like. Which looks like a full blown bag if he asked me. She puts the, they put the filters on now. Those both have filters. Those both have filters.

They have the filter you can put on. And they mean. But I think they did that, but that's like almost like the joke there. Oh, it's a joke, but they're, they're, they're, they're using it because without the filter, the photo I put it that is nuts. Go all the way to left, Jacob, show when they were like younger, like next to each other. Yeah. Like that's two different people. Yeah. Well, shit, but you gotta understand, yeah, Rosie's not bad. She's a little chubby.

I, you know, it's like a chicken meat long island after doing governor's on a Saturday. Bring up, you're not wrong. Bring up the picture of her from exit to Eden where she's in the, in the bonded shit. I don't know, I did nothing, it was bad. It wasn't bad. Rosie was, she was a cute little chubby back in the day. Yeah, like when she was on the MGZF hour comedy hour. Not a bad butt too, go to the butt one.

To one right next to it. Right there, yeah, that's her butt. It's not bad. I'm telling you, when this came out, I was like, I'd fuck Rosie O'Donnell for sure. I mean, she squeezed in there. Of course. She got a nice little butt.

Here you go, here's a little nude. I mean, whatever. Yeah, there you go. This is, what does this movie tell the people listening? Exit to eat. Exit to eat and it was back in the day, I think, who was in it? Rosie had done on Kevin Klein, I think Kevin Klein and

1994 Dan Acroix was in it too. Did I say Palmer Curio in there? I gotta say that what talk about that. I saw him walk by the Starbucks the other day and He looks like Kathy Griffin. No. Yeah, really? I don't know why I'm whispering. I don't know. Because you know, is he here? Probably here. I don't know, but dude, those. Sears can hear us. He's prone to violence. Is he? Yeah, man, the time he almost beat up a man. Yeah, but does it be different? He's a big deal. He did. Buddy. Yeah. Please tell me that story. Comedy seller show Thursday nights. Raw dog at a 7 p.m. Eastern. Life in the table. Thank you. Great show. What does that have to do with

boomer? Blue producers. It happened on that show. It did. What happened? When? Tell me this entire story. Five years ago. You don't have to to disclaimer it. Can we pause for a second? Did you know J was the replacement host for a few months of that show? You did tell me that you short-tired memory lost guy. Life in the table. Life in the table is a popular show that Nome and Nat him and Do, Nome did at the beginning,

quit when he had his first child. And I replaced him with you. Oh, you have very short lives. And this was before Skanks, right? Yeah, this was before anything. And you were the host and you would come in and do your show. And I thought you were great. We should find one of those.

And how great would that be to just to hear host J. Hey, Overson. Genius. Hey, you're laughing at table. Hey, what's going on? I'm here with, uh, little couplets. Hey, Lynn, how are you today?

How's it going? I never mind the hubbub behind us. So what happened with Palmer Curio and whatever? It was Dan Adam and like, why did you get Opiate Anthony cancelled? Well, it was that way. Because it was set at the real table at the comedy seller, there was things going around.

So comedians would sit and as you guys were taping a show, comedians would want to get on. and he wasn't scheduled to get on and he kind of muscled his way in and Dan stiff armed him verbally. And he's like, come on, I'll take you right now. He's like, put up your dukes type of thing. Lou, that's... That was, and I mean this, the worst storytelling I've ever heard, my mother, that was crazy.

One guy goes, z goes zip the zaps. Before you know it, a head. Do you know what happened? I'll retell it. They're at the cello one night and they're doing the show and this comics can all come around and they can jump in and out of the show. Paul McCurray or steps up.

He got there. He tries to go into the microphone and then all of a sudden Dan actually puts his hand out. Nope. On his forehead Nope, that's not what we said at all. This is my story. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry puts his hand on his forehead His his some of his hair transplant come out. Oh shit So he's like what and it's on his hand and Dan goes ah, what's on my hand? And he flicks it on the ground

Oh, and then Paul's like that's my hair and Then he and he tries to get on the microphone, he goes, you're not on the show. This is our show, you're not on. Pick up your hair. Pick up your hair. And it actually fell in Dub David off's potatoes. And Dub was like, oh, there's hair in my potatoes. This wild like heroin.

It's exaggerations with expensive. I was like, my potatoes. Oh, hey. And then he was like, let's get this fucking going. And Nana. Oh, hey, and then uh, and then he was like, let's get this fucking going. And Nana was like, well, you get a little carried away. And uh, and then Paul grabbed him by the neck and dragged him outside. Okay. And he buys his dragon as feet. Okay. And Nana was just holding on. Okay.

Like a slug. Yeah. And he's like, well, where are we going? Why are we going outside? Can't we going outside? Can't we just do it inside? It's cold. Down the steps. Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, down the steps. And then he went outside and he slapped Dan and then the face. But Dan, Dan actually slapped Paul back in the face. That's a good kiddo. He used his own power against him. And then when Paul tried to hit him again, Dan grabbed his wrist and broke it. Whoa. Yeah.

I can't believe that went under the radar with me. So that is an example of a professional storyteller and a person who doesn't like to be on the microphone. But I had help from a real professional. I mean, Jay was assistant. Oh, so it was great. But he gave the poop, poop, poop, poop. Yeah, not just that though.

Jay was doing the fully work for that story. I was doing the fully work. It's just what the story, the story you told says, now here's what I got from your story. Actually, Bobby, Bobby sweetened the pile a little bit. He put a little miracle fruit in that one. On that sour-ass story.

The miracle berry. Yeah, you miracle berry that one. That's why I don't have a microphone at Skankfest. I'm not going to be talking. Lou, we love when you're in the microphone and we love you. Stop, stop, chew your gum, chew your new gurg gum. It's gonna make his, he drew his line in the sand now,

letting you know what, how it's gonna be. It's part of the setup. I said, no microphone. I'm not, when did you say that? Lou, like this second you just said that. No, Lou, I'm not, there's no upsetness with you here. I, stop. Stop.

This isn't a thing. Jacob. Jacob just snapped He likes to pile on he really does he loves the spotlight fucking ham. He does he has a hair He looks like spotlight, but that's good. I learned to like it Yeah, I didn't I'm gonna show started I'd even most terrified of getting on the mic guys guys guys guys guys guys guys We're going away. You're all going away look at my finger Jacob look at my finger follow my finger stay right here. You're all right Lou Blue take a suck of that gum You're gonna suck on your gum when did he when did he let everyone know that he was not right now He did it right now. Oh no

I'm giving a fucking migraine look. He's got the fucking disco glasses on you happy Fucking Dora and the Rand's keytarist is back. Yeah. Lose, where are these fucking glasses? Lose this isn't an insult. I just know you have information that we want. Yes. And when you told a story, here's the problem.

You said, in not in so many words, you said, he came in, I get it. He was trying to bully on to get onto the show, just body himself in there. Dan was like, no, it's not gonna happen. And then, but you're just gotta get, you gotta tell us a little more specifically, what did Dan say that actually?

And then Paul, because you just go, Dan, you said he verbally stiff armed him and then Paul's like, you wanna go outside. There's too much skip there. No one, neither of those two guys jumped to fight without like some words first. Well, how, why did it get to the point of, let's go outside and fight?

Because, when you mad at me, said something, like, you're not on the show, you're not good on that or something like that. No, he said, we have a certain protocol and you're not part of the show right now, back off. There you go, protocol. That would bug me too.

Through the word protocol in there. The word protocol should irritate you. If you're a man, if someone uses the word protocol, I don't want to hear about your fucking protocol. You should be grabbed by the neck. Yeah. So then when he said protocol, then what do you do?

I believe Dub's. Is that what that member does hair out? Dub stepped in. What did Dub say? For real, Dub stepped in? Yeah, that was. How is Dub in the story? I just tell him.

I'm so close with that, I'm in. No, I know, but when the, like, I thought you, I just threw Dub in there and then Dub's actually in the store. I just thought of as close with that. No, I know, but when the, like, I thought you, I just threw dove in there and the dove's actually in the story. I knew if Dan's there, dove's there. It's a weird thing. It's a weird thing. Now that I recall, already Lang was at the table and he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.

Hey, guys, well, Howard's not here. I can't do it. God damn it. That wasn't bad. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. Hey, I can't do it. That wasn't bad. Come on guys. I can't do it. Someone said a message that it made me laugh. They said Howard.

Howard, it's me. Are you laying? Someone said if I want to do a, who's it? Rocky, if I want to do Sylvester Stallone, just do my danger field impression, because it sounds like Sylvester Stallone. I just like the message, because I was like, best. Just below. I just like the message cuz I was like

That's probably true. I only have five voices. They cover a lot of people that guy from no jumpers Just my Josh Adam Myers try to level up your game They're all your Josh Adam Myers. You have Josh silver is the same. No, Josh is up here or Josh. Justin's up here I his court fell in the room? Of course, he's Justin. Justin and him are pretty much the same. Oh, you have Justin and Josh. Oh, what about Tiger blood? Charlie Sheen.

Tiger blood. Winning. That's my Josh. You have a Josh and a Justin. I have a Josh and a Justin, but they cover a lot of people. Do Elvis and me Elvis. Oh, my Elvis is a oh What the fuck is all my hand?

Priscilla get over here and put your teenage pussy on my lap orangadu orangadu do dang do the ragadu Your Elvis is I love you It's not a Elvis Oh man get out of the room getting ready to deflire this child orangadu orangadu do dang do the orangadu Can you do uh danger field I'm hanging out of the room getting ready to deflire this child or hang a dude. Or hang a dude, hang a dude, hang a dude. Can you do a danger filter?

Yeah, hey, Mick. Hey, I got a fight but I ain't got no locker. Hey. That's do rocky. Hey, Mick. Yeah, you know, I got a fight but I ain't got no locker, right? No respect.

Dr. Slap me on the face when I was born. I got no respect. Rocky was so stupid. The first Rocky was annoying. He was so stupid. If you want to smear mainly, remember that in part two? You can't read in commercials. You can't fucking read. They threw that in there very well. He just solved that problem by Rocky III. Also, I learned how to read since then never came up again Yeah, I got all but I ain't got no log of do I make no respect to this gym I tell you Yeah, just like a dummy what was the radio is doing? What was the commercial? It was a For cave if you want to smell mainly

Then you have to use old split everything was he was dressed like a Captain caveman you know the barbarian thing on the tarzan What a doofus. Yeah, we did legit brain damage So the doctor told him in rocky for the beginning of rocky for Yeah, no, that was a no rocky five Now he just fought I'm thinking was told in rocky for it at the beginning of The few times yeah, I think they showed him like a brisk and he should have been shaking and drooling and creed I couldn't read but he's an individual single owner, restaurant tour.

It's like, that's a real change in life that happened. And he's the person, I mean, I've never seen someone have a character, yes. Jay, yes. If I can change, and you can change, maybe we can all change. Bobby doesn't do an impression of with the voice He just does the fit he's doing a rocky lip. Yeah, it's it. Well, he's going if he didn't change the voice I do visual Emotions if I get changed dude you can change dude

All these dudes can change You changed it We can all change Lou take that Rosie is off the screen for a bone-up bro. This is buddy amon. I miss her you know her Yeah, I work with her for a couple years. What were you guys an arm wrestling team? What did work together doing crafts? Yeah, oh what'd you do? Trouble wood You guys teach a Tantric or gas or guys and classes?

No, we did radio Rosie or radio really and you like there a lot good do You guys teach a tantra orgasm or guys and classes? No, we did a radio, rosy radio. Really? And you liked there a lot. Good dude. Good dude. Good dude. I actually, I met her in an airport.

She was actually very nice. She looked at me, I looked at her, and I didn't want to say anything. Yeah. And she was like, hey, I was like, hey. You know each other. And she goes, you're on that Louis show, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. He plays brother. I was like, hey, I was like, hey, you know each other. And she goes, you're on that Louis show, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, you play as brother.

I was like, yeah, she's like, I really liked that. It's really good stuff. You're good on it. And I was like, thanks. I like you too. She's like, cool. That was it. Have a good fight, sir.

Bye, buddy. I punch on the shoulder. She punched me back. Hey, thanks for the compliment, guy. I think she's a good actress. Huh? Rosie's a good actress ex-dead

hb0 thing i thought she was really good on recently was it a documentary better gay cruise i like it i like rose i don't hate rosy i was a little crazy but i don't hate it i think her drama is better than her comedy movies all like fucking uh... like robin Williams What do you mean?

Drama was good. Oh, yeah, stunk. Yeah, her comedy wasn't bad. No, no, I'm saying about Robin Williams is the comedy movies. I'm not not understand her standup was actually good. She had her show standup spotlight. Yeah, which was actually great. She was so hot. And VH1 and VH1 and then she had her first best, was she shot in Fanyu Hall. Well then she had her first bachelor she shot in Fanyu Hall. Was the one where she had the backwards like Rich Voss had on and I tell you, I thought she was cute.

What was that? But she is aged like fucking miracle. Well, League of Our Own. She was good. League of Our Own. She was good. Looked good. She looked okay.

No, I thought acting wise. Oh yeah, yeah. We're talking about Jacob. Looks. We're superfincially talking about her fucking lesbian body, dude We know she's a very talented woman who's achieved a lot in this world But I'm talking about her fat ass and tits right now, dude. I don't know the Rosie O'Donnell You know time period that I was into her. I'm just saying yeah, you were never in to Rosie O'Donnell, dude

How'd it give her the biz back in the day? But I bet she has a fucking glove of a muff. I bet it's just a mess down there. Yeah, I bet it feels like the bottom of a foot. Yeah, I bet it has like trappings in it. Trappings? Yeah, if you know like the days trappings of like, you know, like a cart, like a, like a welcome mat, it's got the days trappings in it.

Oh, she's like, if she went in the ocean, she has like a, like a starfish in it. Sure. Yes. There could be a shell, maybe a broken piece of shell. Like pirates of the Caribbean too. When the guy has a shell coming out of his face. Yeah. A good tablespoon worth of sand. I'd say a tablespoon's worth. But what happens with Irish people, especially Irish women, the older they get their lips goes I mean she has no lips. Yeah, and your freckles all grow together before you know You just implode like the house at the end of poltergeist just goes She has those and she has fake teeth, you know everybody who gets rich and famous gets new teeth

Bing hey, he's talking about this guy. Yeah, you've been bald twinkle. Oh, I just get bobbed who gets rich and famous gets New Teeth. Bing! Hey! You talking about this guy? Yeah, you've been barbed. Twinkle. Oh, I just get barbed. You just got barbed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, But it's all the same dude. They don't think Ross Matthews. Yeah, there's only so far they can go,

but their main goal is to look like a guy. Absolutely. From Vermont or Washington State. But it's one haircut, it's a Katie Lang. It's they all get thick black glasses. And they just go for a long time. I tell you what she I hope she her hair she got an awesome hair great hair fucking great here. Yeah, she looks

like David Lynch. When you become a Lesbo in your 60s, you got to just go full David Lynch. Well I do this game bring up the one with her and Kathy again the the the the atrocious one. Well, but do you see while he's bringing it up, Kathy Griffin came out about Kanye this game bring up the one with her and Kathy again the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pictures and stuff. I did see that. And she was like, It's a blues. You're a real cutie, Patoody. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer. That's right. And go to bigjcommy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to

a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo