The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jacob's Filthy Dream

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

Jacob has a sex dream about Christine-who is just like a sister to him!

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on... What is the SXM? Yeah, Series XM. You can say Series XM. Thank you very much. For full episodes of the Bonfire you can listen on the SMX app. No, say series XM. You can listen on the series XM app. Go to seriesXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now, the Bonfire with Big J. Olkerson and Robert Kelly.

Jacob, you keep leaving the room I assume is to knock one out before you tell the story. You were about getting a boner. But we were told earlier before the show, you'll hear at the end of Thursday show, Jacob tells us that he had his first ever sex dream about Christine this weekend. I assume it was Friday morning. I woke up to it Friday morning. What was it a was it a, uh, did it feel realistic?

Was it a night admission? What? A night e-mission. A night e-mission. Friday morning. What was it a was it a? Did it feel realistic? Was it a night admission? A night e-mission, a night e-mission. A wet dream. A wet dream, though. You didn't so you didn't, you didn't go all the way. I never have. I've never had sex dreams. I've never had it.

I only, I don't know, just about context. I only have nightmares. Bobby. I've only had this live with nightmares non-stop. You do. I only have nightmares I've only a good does live with nightmares nonstop you do I only have so it's only normal eventually you didn't a fucking Christina She's putting crumbs in the bed. Yeah, what did she have evil dinner eyes face? My dreams very proud on the wall bad to to horrific well, I could tell you how it starts The dreams very fun. The blood on the wall.

The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall.

The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall. The blood on the wall If I was thinking about this because I knew you were going to ask how, if I only have nightmares how it's possible that I'm having a sex dream, it makes total sense to me. But if you, if you ever want like a realistic version of my, the version of sex I have in my dream is watch Nightmare on Elm Street, three dream warriors, one Joey is dreaming about

the nurse. Okay. And then it ends up turning into Freddie Krueger, who lashes him with the bed, to the bed with tongues, and then he descends into hell. That's a typical dream, sex dream for me. That's hot.

Yeah. This one starts out where? You were already in hell in the beginning. I was in, I was alone in my bedroom, or a version of my room. It was very dark. Dark because Jay was just there and he turned all the lights out. I don't allow lights. No lights. It was also probably cold. I like my room. It's cold. It's completely darker. I can't sleep. Very much like this studio. It is cold in in my bedroom. I like completely dark but the

allowed blaring some sort of television on the same time. Oh, no, no, I can't sleep Nothing has to be pitch pitch dark and no void That's why you like there as you probably think of terrible things where you go to bed I try have like cartoons or something funny on the background so I can Think although I do fall asleep to 20 20 a lot. Jay plays Henry danger in the background when he goes to sleep. Yeah Henry danger danger in the back. Nobody goes to sleep. Yeah. Henry danger. It's a Nickelodeon show for kids. Okay. What? I'm a little embarrassed to tell this because I mean, we know each other for eight years. Why? Christine looks, she's like family. I'll tell you my sex dream about Christine if you

tell me yours. By the way, as soon as I told you this on the Thursday pre-tap, I got a text from Lewis. Who said he also has his two words, who hasn't? You snitch. You fucking snitch. Wow. Look at him. I know. I know. I know. I know. We're on Lou. It's a show. It's a comedy show. I gotta say I haven't. Let's say it is. After hearing Kevin Hart, Lou got real black. That's like black black.

You say you snitch bitch. Black black. Black black. We got black black Lou right now. Lou, don't do that. I'm getting into this. Come on. Lou, what was yours?

Well, who's? getting into this. Come on. Lou, what was yours? You can't walk again. Let's do us, brother. Family's families right there. Oh, sorry. Yeah, we can't do that. I'm sorry. It was too funny. Oh, no, we'll find out this studio. We're going to get black, black Lou in studio.

We're your black, black Lou in studio to give us studio to give us rundown but you know what black black Lou won't tell us black Lou will yeah you know so you can see Christine could take that big old D take that big old D right now but I put on I put on a belly like we're in a cell go Jacob so what's going on you can't listen to her laugh anymore so you shut the cock her mouth finally You can't listen to her laugh anymore so you shove the cock her mouth finally. She initiated. Okay.

So I'm alone in my room. In my apartment. I know she's just in the, Christine comes into the room. Um, I don't remember a lot of the words. She's just just like she starts saying we should do this I think you want to do this like I can we cannot do this because all I'm doing is thinking about betraying Jay yeah you can't betray your pal I can't you can't do that but what if it's true love no I mean it was all about the sex. It was all about the sex. And I said, I'm

so I love that we can't pure sex pure pure. I said we can't we can't do this. And then she said she said it looks like you want to do it because I mean I was like yeah, Rod. Yeah. Yeah. You little Your little rod was sticking through you. It looks down here. Looks this guy a little down here wants to do it. What's your sexy one? Are those plates in your pants or you want to do it? I can't iron that out.

Give me your ear, Lou. Can we give me your ear, Jacob? Let's see if you can have the bulls eye of my my come scroll I'm much more good to it's embarrassing go go go go what she say so she goes it looks like you want to do it And then what did you do you look down inside it? I said And I said yeah, but we can't you know something like that. Yeah, and then she just Grabbed it went through. I'm wearing boxers and she went through the Peahaw the open the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peah the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Peahaw the Pe Look at me, Jacob, Jacob, look at me. Look at me, Jacob. Jacob, look at me.

Don't look at Jay. You can look at Bobby, it's okay. Look at Christine when you tell it. Look, Christine right in the face. So Christine, you were giving me a handy. Okay, nice. Right, what was she doing with her eyes? Looking right in your eyes.

Wait, Jacob, is this gonna hurt? Wait a second. I've been talking about this on stage recently. Was she giving you the, she's whacking you this way because she's looking right at you? She's doing a regular grip like this. The right way. Looking right at you.

Yeah. Okay. Was it a dry grip or did she give a little... No, dry. Dry. Oh, all right. I don't like, at least she must know. I don't like it.

I've never used any. She knows that about you. Wait a minute. I've never used any she knows that about you wait a minute I'm sorry she could read that you don't use Loub when you master make either I don't either do it. I'm a dry Jack I mean I can dry Jack myself, but if a girl does it they don't know no no no a girl needs to do so Yes, I'm spiters girls don't know grip. They don't have that grip You grip too hard. Well, just so you know, Christine wouldn't give you a dry jack.

So this is a dream. Sorry, Christine, what did you say? She wouldn't, what did you say? She wouldn't give you a dry hand job. That's not Christine's game. In fact, I would say if she's giving you a hand job, she's gonna start chugging your cock, dude. Yeah, she got time.

She got to walk the dog. I think, maybe I'll psychoanalyze it after the story. Don't say that one, oh, just what happened. Tell us the story. So look at the total, but I am fascinated why it happened. So she's jerking you. She's light jerking, because Christine, you know how to, you know how to what?

You know how to grip. She just had a grip. And she's jerking you softly. It's a medium. Medium. There's a little more than that. If you went right to town with her hand Okay, so she's right to town with her hands and what are you? Are you she saying what's her face looking like? She's like are you saying this are you saying like don't stop or you just letting it go down? No, at this time I'm as is like all right. I guess this is happening

I had no I had no willpower once you grabbed it once you grab it you're done your powers are gone my powers are gone and now you just are to your back man I mean how many men can say stop stop jerking me yeah none none nobody well that's not true if it's a dry hand job I can't say stop jerking it's the only one I know I'm sure so I know. I understand. So, and how I prefer it. Got you.

So, let me keep looking at Bobby. She's looking in your eyes. What does she say next? It's dark in the room. Sure. There's not a lot of talking, Bobby. There's just a lot of action. So, she's just grabbing.

Then what does she do? I think she might have said something like, you like this, right? Or you're, I can, or I can tell you like this or something like that? Yeah, I could tell you like this. But you said it better. She went, I could tell you like this.

Yeah, like this. Yeah, it was a Celtery voice. It was a low voice. Yeah, I like this. I like this, don't you? I like this, don't you? And then, and then what does she do from there? She's lightly doing that.

And then what? Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me, stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me. Jacob, I can't look at the two of you. No, I have to look at them afterwards. What did she say? What did she do after that?

When she went, you like this stuff, you know? Yes. And then you said, you nodded your head. You didn't even say a word. You just nodded your head. Yeah. And then you said you nodded your head. You didn't even say where you just nodded your head. Yeah. And then you also bite your bottom lip and throw it back where you said that you go. Yes. Did you run your hand? Did you run your hand through your own hair? Yeah, did you like flex your own abs? Did you take I didn't do anything there I was just like okay

you're going back at that point did you take your chain medallion and just bite the coin like so glad you're letting her service you and then she go don't look at Bobby look at me look at me look at me look at me I don't want you to run away from the Jack just look at me I'm with you buddy I'm with you what happened then where does she go now Jacob just like I'm with you buddy. I'm with you. What happened then? Where does she go now? Yeah, she's in the driver's seat. She's in the driver's seat because I like I said I was trying Honestly, God my whole point of this dream was that I we cannot do this because all of you know you're a good person in Christine's a pig piece of shit

Well, hold that while I'm psychoanalyzing hold that thought There's a hold that I'm psycho analyzing hold that thought So so so she she says Yeah, and then you say you you bite your medallion and go snow medallion I'm not wearing my change. You're not wearing your chain. Okay, I'm sleeping in my bed I'll be put a little color less sexy, but okay, by the way for the ladies Listening right now just to get them going, I'm wearing boxers, black boxers. Black boxers. Yeah.

Boxer briefs are boxers. Black boxers. Yeah. Not too, not loose though, like, like pretty tight to my body. Not the sidebar here for a second, but I'd like to say if you consistently wear your change, Jacob, you would start dreaming that you're wearing them. Well, it's just happened.

The change just happened. So then after that, after you arch your back lightly, what? I didn't. You arch your back. Don't say it. You arch your back. Did you worry that you were going to explode in Christine's mouth so you stopped? Wait, did you get, did her mouth get down?

No, no, no, no, no, down here? Oh no, no mouth yet. No, no, no, we're trying to- I never mentioned mouth. I'm sorry, she's jacking still. She's jacking and then we'll- You're back, you're biting lip. What happens? Does she go down here?

Look at Bobby, don't look at me! Oh, but I don't know how you make me out to be- Sexy? I don't think I'm sexy biting my lip and biting a chain. Really? Are you crazy? What are you picturing we're saying? Taking my necklace and biting it is...

Yeah, yeah, I think that's still like you're like... Yeah, it's a throes of ecstasy, sure. I've never had that. Is this real gold? No, no. Yeah, you're always Jewish, you're checking, you go... I can't care. These guys are fucking cheap.

I couldn't get $30 for this on the market. Suck bitch! This is from Amazon. Keep sucking! So, so then what happens? Alright. You're okay. I got you. She stops jerking me.

Okay. And then she goes, then yeah, then she starts blowing me. Okay, whoa, slow down there. Jacob. I mean, she just started. So she didn't push okay, whoa slow down there Jacob. I mean she just started She didn't push her head down She didn't I didn't because of it like I said the guilt a normal like a guilt of right Cannot I can't instigate anything because Jay I would that would be a betrayal of you

You don't have the power to stop it, but you do have the power not to do anything Yeah, you're lying there lying there like you're paralyzed. You're trying to be saved me a lot of money down the road if you would just tell me after that. You should've thought about that. He goes, I'll get Jay away from this piece of shit, but that's tomorrow's problems. So she goes down, she just goes straight down.

She spits out her arms, starts shutting the clock. You can tell you're I was digging it. She, of course she did. cock. You can, you're like, yeah, she can tell you're, I was digging it. Of course she did. Yeah. Your, your, your. The handy was phenomenal. So she goes down and then what happened? What do you do?

Do you make any noise when, like, when it goes from handy to warm mouth? Does the Christine and your dream have a bottomless throat also? Because, and this is why I got a psychoanalyze, because you've brought this up so many times that she's good at it. Yeah, I mean it was. Wow, it was well done. Jay, I'm gonna have to look at you right now because I can't look at him. I mean, this was super. Okay.

Yeah, it was, it Yeah, it was great. Like, on a scale from one to ten, like, ten? In the dream, yeah, it was like the best I've ever had. Yeah, that good. That much ecstasy. Alright, so she's swallowing your hog. Look at Bobby. She's giving you the best you ever had in your life.

Bottomless throw. So now are you touching her head at all? You gotta be touching her head. Yeah, my hand goes in. You're skull fucking. You're skull fucking. So she gives you feeling back. Now you're not paralyzed.

You're in. You're not paralyzed anymore but now you have her hands Now it's on her head going through her hair yeah, your glasses fogging up You won are we picturing she's between your legs are you laying down? No, she's are you sitting up or laying down? No, she's. Are you sitting up or laying down? I'm laying down on my bed. You're laying down your bed. Now, is she from the side of you

or is she between your legs? She's on the side. Are your knees locked? Are your knees up? Are your knees up? Are they locked? Like, are you locking your legs tight or are they up? They're open.

They're open, but they're not the knees aren't bent, right? Are the knees bent? No, no. No. I'm like this because I've just been enjoying flat out. They're open, but they're not the knees aren't bent, right? Are the knees bent? So I'm like this because I've just been enjoying flat out. Oh Bobby. Here's what's going on Jacob Is in shape in his legs are all like perfectly fine. So we I look great me and Bobby Yeah me and Bobby have to open our legs wise you get all the you know all the skin that can fall off of the bottom of your Dick the better so your dick looks like. Maybe I didn't explain it. We have to use gravity to help us to help our dick get bigger.

I look phenomenal. I'm only in boxers. Jacob, you need to tell us that. We already picture. I'm already picturing you phenomenal. We know that. We're just trying to find out where you're at because we know what we have to do to give a woman a picture.

And we just want to get a picture. So she's flanking you from the side. She's on all fours. I assume. I think you're at because we know what we have to do to give a woman. I'm gonna picture so she's flanking you from the side. She's on all fours. I assume. I think in life. I yeah, I look good now, but in the dream, you look for some reason I look except what's wrong. Well, it's your match. I mean, I look I look I look ripped.

What was she? You have a hand on her head. Are you you think maybe holding like her hair up so you can see. I know are you holding with your left hand? FYI. Her hair up so you can see an are you holding with your left hand FYI her hair Up so you can see your weeners going in her mouth. That's bad luck to get blown from the left FYI Well, it starts that's Chinese superstition. It's just where it starts. Yeah, yeah, well my bed always get blown from the right in the future My bed is she she comes into the room my bed. She has to be there to start you need to change that back You should change it also the left the left side blow jobs the gay blow bed. She has to be there to start you need to change that back you should change it

Also the left the left side blow jobs the gay blow job. Yeah, it's gay. Yeah, yeah, I'm playing a u-ring I did not yeah, well either I till I made it up Guess we do lie on the show. I guess we are just non-stop lawyers. Yeah, who guts dad? Oh, you're gay if you get blown from the left hand side Bobby's fucking fighting off knife knife creatures So Jacob she's she's blowing you she's still on the left or she in between your legs Now she's crawled on to the bed. Oh She's thought sort of on the left, but I would say one one over She's straddling my left leg. Okay. That's called a half guard

Hey, I don't know in jujitsu. It's got a half guard. It's half guard I know you about to get in butterfly guard and make this go down I don't know you guys are me at these terms. I'm not getting what is that is she getting into full mount? We're using it to be over you Jacob. We're using jiu jitsu terms right now She's right now she's strong your one like oh is she doing the thing where she's like she's like grinding her pulse against your shin Yeah, you like that don't you yeah nice you're getting here making Bobby hard okay now. I've been hard the whole time Oh, listen So she's blowing you and you're really well you say she's divvying we say, I'm sure Divi not the cum scrolls or what's up?

No, no, yeah, the small ones. Hey, so you fit it, look at me. So you have your hands in her hair now and you're helping her a little bit. Yeah. Your face fucking her. Is there, and if you want to call it, she lost her mother young, she deserves good face fucking.

No, no, I don't, I'm not into this, like, no, no, I'm not, if you want to call it she lost her mother young she deserves good face fuck No, I don't I'm not into this like no, no, I know if you're asking I Mean hang on was it no Jay wash's porn videos were there like they're being stabbed. Oh does Jay do that Yeah, I don't like you think I'm all million plus views on those videos. It's impossible Jacob It's not my thing so my thing either I just it out to know what's going on in the world. It's called keeping your finger on the whole. Jacob stay with me. Don't. Jacob, he's right.

Look at what I did. We're seeing the knives at something you don't, you didn't do, Jay, obviously. What, kissing the mouth? Talk after you're done. So far, we don't do anything you've named. Come in from the gaze out of the bed. I wish Christie would try to suck me from the gayside.

Pop a right in the chops. It's the gayside. So you get in the glass. And she's rubbing her fucking clear against your shin. Is there any part that she looks up to you and goes, do you like that? It doesn't talk there. She's blowing me, but she does look up.

And she's you smiling. She's your enjoyer. Is she groaning? Is she making some noise? At least, like, she's into the thing. Because she's also riding your shed, your leg don't forget. Did she fake a gag at least? Like, a little?

No, I didn't even do it. No, I didn't get that. She didn't get that. She must, though, I'm telling you, she throws up from the center of her chest. I don't know where the gag reflexes. It's because she worked at, she worked at Coney Island. Also, maybe I'm a bad gauge because I don't have a big weener.

So maybe I just think she's a bottomless through. Maybe Christine is a very shallow gag reflex. I don't know. Christine can't even put a fuck a lovely pop up. Throw it up. But I'll tell you what, dude, I can go balls to chin on Christine, but that might just be me. So, so, so she's doing that. And then what happens then? Then, yeah, then I get it.

Then it's like time. Then then I flip her over. And she takes her top off like Andre the giant She had clothes on like black clothes black like nice looking black outfit on While she was blowing me, but then I Flip her over and all of a sudden sudden I don't know it's a dream She had no clothes on sure she's just naked. Why not it's a dream. So she's making well It's not too much of a dream Christine's been working on some quick-change magic, so So so you flip her over so at some point you can't take it anymore

You're like I'm getting some of this. Yeah, you flip her over on her belly or on her back on her back and what do you do? What do you do? Do you go? Come on baby Huh you give her a little look and then you go down there and take a couple swipes one two three three Do you do do you mind your box at all? No, you don't do it do you? You do a slight you little slide look at me. No, you don't do it, do you? No, I do. You do it in a slot, you little slut. Look at me.

Well, it can't be all about Jake. Don't look at me. Don't look at Jay. Look at me. Be generous lover. Yeah, look at Bobby. Look at me. Don't look at Jay.

This is getting weird. Look at me. So you go down and you do say anything to her? No. You don't say nothing. No, there's not a lot of talking. You just go down and go check this out. You go down between your legs.

Christine, you only got to say one thing and that's this. Tully. I didn't do that. So you know what you're doing down there, right? Yeah, yeah. How do you know? How do you know? What does she do?

Does she grab your head and squeeze it? She does. Oh, wow. You doing a fantastic job. Yeah. Does she smush your head with her legs or thighs? Because you're hitting it. It's a little locked in there.

Yeah, a little locked in there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cross with the foot. Oh, she gives you an umaplata. Yeah. Now, are you getting, are you getting her off? At this point, she's coming. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. She's coming. Yeah, she's squeezing the leg. You're a whole thing. You're making her come by going down on her. Yeah, really?

That's it. Then I go. I have a question. Jigga, was this in this dream? Did you stay down there for seven and a half hours? Cause I think that's what it takes. It was just for scenes clip died in 2013. Real quick. Did you have a broke soul foot massager with you while you were down there while she was coming? It look even I think it's far fetched. No, you made her come by going down on her. Yeah, I didn't ask, but she was moaning a lot. Yeah, yeah. Like what type of moan?

No, just give me one more. Let me hear this moan. Cop, let me, let me hear a couple of them. I don't want it. Just do it. I know that the music I know this is gonna be a drop. It's not gonna be a drop. Please cut the music for one second because I want to hear the Moan's bad ready. Just let me hear what everybody super quiet and let's just like let's get this clean for not the drop Is not a drop. I really want to hear I just I just want to clean audio what you said, Jigga, for my own ears. I just want to hear the moment. I want to hear it.

I want to hear it, ready? It wasn't like at the loudest. It was more like super ecstasy on grist teams. Let me hear it. It was more of a, you know, like a, just go it. Don't talk. I really internalized it.

I trust you. Let me hear it. I'm closing my eye. I want internalized it. I trust you let me hear it I'm closing my I want to feel it. I can't maybe I can't bring myself to do it. Just try it. Just try it All right I'm going down on her and then she's Something I can't do it man. It's enough of a it's enough of a fucking drop for you. Just ramping up put the music back on Let's do this You got it right? Yeah, that sounded like you got that clean

All right sound like it was horrible She did it much better than I did you sounded like a dying goat. I don't want to do it I didn't put a lot of passion into it. I think my grandma made those sounds right when she was dying. Probably. Oh. I'm not selling that part, but you have to believe. It was more like this. Yeah, yes.

Yeah, Bobby's doing it. Oh, Jenga. But more also, not too loud. Oh, Jenga. Oh, god. Oh, god, Jenga. Oh, God. Oh, God. Jayga. Oh, God.

Jayga. Jayga. Right there. Right there. Right there. Oh, that type of thing too. If you want to put some realism into it, guys, if you add one of these,

moop. Oh, none of that happened. Like an in-mouth burp. Yeah, she was a... No gas. She had gourd burp. Oh, this is a dream. That's right. This isn't real life. Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. Where was I? I'm going to. Hi, guys. So then you're making her calm. Then what?

Then I stopped doing that. And then what what then I get on top of her on top Yeah, then we we do and now the first thing where the legs where the legs go on the shoulders right away is they you keep them down Down the start. I have one one one leg hook up one leg hooked up, but you're giving her the chest to chest Yeah, yeah, for you dude. That's how you're chest. I'm all above also to get like a maybe an out my four armors. But on an act right now. You're jumping around you want to fucking who you think you are bring those fucking web pages up fast. Push a thumb or I. When Jay says do something do it. And then so we're doing that which is like a lot with a lot of energy.

Very energetic. Like what type of song? There's no music. There's no music. I don't use music. There was no music. You can hear the mattress going like this squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky squeaky sque I remember sweating. I can't look at the sweat on their chest. Sure, look, you can't look at Christine right now. Can't, don't look at you. It's day with me, not yet.

You can look at it at the end of this. So you squeak and, yeah, and then, are your eyes closed? I'm in shape, so I'm like, I'm working. I felt, I was very athletic. So everyone's talking about you look at the mirror on the wall, you kind of checking yourself like a Brazilian hooker and the mirror I'm a mirror right to the side of my bed, but I didn't look like that. No, that's not case. I was the right side

No, the only side my bed is on the right side, so it would be the case Well, it's good It's legacy when you're getting blown from that side and you look at the mirror You should see dick and balls dang on the tree that side and you look at the mirror, you should see dick and balls dang on the tree. So. So. So you're looking at your own body in the mirror. You like I'm fucking hot and you're looking at her and you're going to town.

I'm just looking at her words. Now we're really into it. Oh, you're looking at her eyes. You guys. No, no, I don't. I'm not like. Is her eyes closed? Let's.

Or is there head to the side? Or is it looking right at you? No, she's not up but she's looking up so she's not looking at almost I'm also moving positions I'm on top of her but then I'm like to the side of your technician in between the positions. Do you ever spit in her face the way you order? Okay, Jesus I don't know she liked all this stuff, so I don't think she does either. I don't know anybody who does. She's okay.

Just saying things you could have done. So you're doing that? It's a dream, Jacob. In my sex dreams of Christine, I think she sucks my dick for a minute and I brand her with a hot hanger. All kinds of shit. I see if I can show her a pussy shot. It's like Strange Land.

It's like the movie Strange land. Yeah, I have sex Jersey dawn. It's actually Christine's head So go ahead, George. I'm sorry. You're in the middle of making it. I don't want to tell you that it went on any longer because at this point How long did it go? No, I didn't you didn't come I've never come in a dream. Her pussy was too loose I didn't you didn't come. I've never come in a dream. Our pussy was too loose. Even in the dream. That's when it kicked in that my guilt about Jay.

And you and I said we have to stop. That's what I was saying. What's actually killed it? And and if you want me to, you want me to tell you what happened after? Yes, we do. We stopped, but then it's almost like the next day and Jay does find out and he's super mad at me. But then he forgives me. I don't, I can't forgive myself and I wake up feeling guilty.

But I will tell you this, Christine, no guilt whatsoever. Absolutely. In fact, she wanted to do it again. She was almost like, What is the big deal? Let's just, who cares? Don't worry about it. By the way, Jacob, my character was only mad

because you didn't come. That's usually my part, then I come in and suck it out of her. You know what I mean? Like a real cutie boy. Like a little cutie boy. I come in and I felt you right out of her. I'm gonna throw up.

No straw, Bobby. Yeah, man, I know you're just a straw. No straw Bobby no straw no straw no straws Where's from the hole dude no straw straw it's I get my mouth over the whole Taking octopus kiss oh god oh it's Jacob's got a god Yeah, I know your protein. Jizz got a real gob in there. He really does his thin guy pro So I was I was pissed Yeah, you are upset because you know it sex with your girlfriend But then you said of me no, he was upset with me. You didn't really mention you Christine wanted to do it again though. How'd you know cuz she kept looking at you junk boy J was mad at you was

Incredi she is my show to this goes her She is my show. She's my show. Don't let's go Her vibe I'll see you this time in my shitter look at me look if look for me in the game So her vibe was what is the big deal? Yeah, yeah like that. She's very easy going. Oh great. She's got a very loose. She has a very loose egoose idea about sexuality Jacob, but I woke up Will you sing a song? She was a wonderful lover. You'd say though. Fantastic fantastic. I guess that it was a That was the closest thing I'm Because I've never in one second. One second stop. I wait sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm mortified because it's the closest in my entire life I've ever gotten to it, but my stupid guilt didn't allow me to. You get back in there Jacob, make this happen. I was so upset that I didn't, like it would have been a first. But I woke up.

Do you know when you like, sometimes your boner is bigger than you've ever seen it? Like it actually looks better to you big dick Yeah, you're talking big dick day. It happens big dick day. I was gonna hold it always early day in a hotel for me Yeah, I woke up and it was for real through my my boxers, and I went Hopefully shit. Yeah, you went over and tried to suck it. Did you power one out real quick? Yeah, do you look in the bed? I want to I woke up. I'm not the go to work He didn't try to wank one out real quick to have the dream I held it for a shower Oh, okay, you did it in the shower

Yeah, I'm gonna yeah, what do you mean you're not gonna what? Check off in your bed. No, we used to much much cleaner It's a much much faster to clean You come scroll is on its way. Don't worry about that put that right over you belly black loose dream was a little bit different It was him and his friends smoking blunts and drinking 40s while they pee on Chris while a human toilet Christine Whether we laugh in a Kevin Hart special other watching Kevin Hart special item. Why bitches like piss? You open your mouth open your mouth Becky my name's Christine. Whatever it is open it up I knew it was a white girl name Lisa Christine Becky who gives a shit whatever the fuck it is

Suck my friends Dicks what we pee on you. I'm black back Lou. Suck my friends dick. I'm black black Lou. Get over your human toilet Christine You look I don't have to poop Yo, so it's like I got a Duke get your white ass over here. Oh, you look I don't have to poop. Yo, as soon as I got a duke, get your white ass over here. Oh shit, right on your chest. I didn't do any of that. We weren't seeing- No, you didn't human toilet her?

We weren't seeing. It was- Yeah, I was banging her from behind and then she took it out and put it in her ass. Yeah, classic Christine. Ah, Jacob, that's the- Something's a classic dang cook, someast. Classic Christine. Jacob, that's the new album. Something's a classic dang coke. Something's a classic Christine. Hey.

It was, if I had to put it in one word, Jay. Capital H, capital O, capital T, three exclamation points. Hot. Hot. Hot. But I'm bummed, like I said, I didn't allow myself to. Have an orgasm. Pea on it.

Story in my life. When you were in the shower, did you think about the dream? Oh, well, it was sexy. Yeah. You did. I had to get this poison out of my face. So you did, you did have an orgasm in life.

It was fresh on my back. Jacob is never happened again. It never happened before and it never happened. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. I just realized that's so much worse to tell. Wait, to tell, I shouldn't have said that on here.

No. I shouldn't have said it on here. I'll show you. It's just live. Wait, go. You just said that you just said that you went, the show is turned off to chase girl. No, I'm only. No, to the dream.

Yeah, in life. No, it's not. Bobby. Yeah. I'm only kidding. Did you just said that you went to the show and you talked to Jay's girl? No, I'm only kidding. No, it's a dream. Yeah, in life. No, it's a dream. But it was a documentary. I'm only kidding. Oh, no. I got you, buddy. I got you.

You're only joking. You were just kidding. Yeah, it's a comedy show. It was a comedy show. Yo, DJ Liu, I beat off to your chick all the time, dude. You didn't take it. I stay slugging cock to your chick. Hey, Christine, I jerked off to Jay all the fucking time. Fuck it. Yo, I jerk off to you bitch all the time. Yo, tell Doran I stays poundin' cock to her.

Yeah, you're gonna, and in my dream she goes, you're gonna whack that little fucking thing for me? Ha ha ha. You're gonna, you're gonna put that little pack around my chin? Pull out your little cock. Let me seein' knocking around a little bit. Oh, there it is. Last time I saw her was on Craigslist, Chiquia. Yik, yik, yik. Oh, there it is. Last time I saw it was on Craigslist, Jiquia. Yeah, Jiquia. Oh, we had a good family laugh at you. We put it in a time capsule so we could sell Max when he's older. Uncle Jay's little weeny.

I truly wish I hadn't said that last part. Yeah, but you jerked off to Christine. He cares. So because you whacked off to completion of Christine. Yeah, because you told it. Because you told us you didn't orgasm. We're just joking around anyway. This whole thing's bullshit, like your train story. You, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, But just so you know, guys, Stephen Singer does exist.

He's just not with us anymore, I guess. What do you think it was? You think it's because of the sex dream that I had about the girl that came in with us? It's Mother's Day, Jay. It was a big, big push to Mother's Day. Now we're going to get a big, big push toward the Father's Day.

I'm trying to psychoanalyze how this happened because I don't know where after it. Why this moment in time that I have a stream after it? Eight years. But you've been upping your stories about maybe Christine sent maybe also Christine sent you a don't blame this on me somehow. No, no, no, the drop is my I've laughed on the street and continue to laugh, but that drop about when I'm supposed to do suck your dick for an hour.

Yeah. It's my all time favorite thing because the aggravation in her voice yeah, cracks me up to the one. But I guess psychologically maybe it just stuck in there. Christine, one of this asked me if I liked some new sandals she got. So she sent a picture of her just in panties and sandals to a doctor instead of me. What? Yeah, Bobby's doctor friend. No, Dr. Gale. Not Dr. Gale.

Yeah. Who is in shorts? What are you trying to get free Botox? No, I took a picture in the mirror and I just accidentally sent it wrong guy to him and I'd be like, oh my god That was for Jay. I'm asking about my shoes I can now Christine if you get him on we could probably trim those lips down a little bit for you. I Love dark. I love dark the gale, but you don't love him enough to send a picture your naked wife. No

Well, I guess we have different kind of love We have to get big I think I don't know the math on this we have to take a break. We have to take a break, I think. I don't know the math on this. We have to take a break. We have to take a break. Go to Big J, bigjcomedy.com. Robacale live.com. This Saturday Boston gig, we had to reschedule it. Sorry about that.

So if you have tickets, just go get refunded. I'll let you know what happened. We're gonna reschedule. Go to robacale live.com. I'm gonna be in Cincinnati, Columbus, the Hampshire, this summer I'm doing a bunch of shows all over. So please, and then go to Big J comedy, because you know what he's going to be.

This weekend, J, you are going to be in South Carolina. It's a meeting doing Shen Gill with Nick Moen show, South Carolina and Hershey P.A. Big shows. Big shows. And after that, I'll be in Vegas for a solo weekend there. And then I start the Foyle Lota tour with Bear Crisher. So I'm

doing all gigs on the foy loaded tour so make sure you check that out. It's gonna be a fun summer fun and I'll be back here every week and we'll be doing our thing and I'll be back here and we do stuff and all the while Jacob just pound and dicks to all our girlfriends. Cleaning up Mmm, mmm. Cleaning up over there. Just a dirty room. Clean up on aisle Jacob. It really is. We'll be right back everyone.

Fitbit. To bonfire. I love Christine. And I bake. And now back to the bonfire with Big J. Ocroson and Robert Kelly. 아 I'll let you know because I never told you You found out I've got a crush on you The one I'm gonna show you is my heart that's playing You found out I've got a crush on you

You must have heard it from my best friend She's always talking when she should be listening Can't keep her secret, the same highlight But still I trusted her with all I've been saying I never knew I would have to spend so fast Cause now the worries is up all over the town Then I'm not here for you, I'm gonna take you now And then I'm at home, you found out

I've got a crush on you But I'm supposed to suck you, Jack, for an hour Hey, my heart is in this state, you found out I've got a crush on you 24 characters pussy Get hard get, get hard, get hard. Get hard, get hard, get hard. Get hard, get hard.

What is this 80s, right? Yeah, the Jets, right? Yep, yep. Try to get hard. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, that one. You need that answer and that. Correct, correct, correct. I love Christine and I beg you. I need to finish my work Listen always is Christine Ah

Jacob, Jacob, Jacob The fucking dick When you psychoanalyze a remember she kept blowing you from the gays side of the bed Yeah Keep that in mind The left side is the gays side I can't believe you didn't even give her a nice thick load, Jacob. Yeah.

Way to edge me in the story. I was right there too. I was on the edge. I'm like, man, when did we pop? And I was like, now, woke up. Any waste in it in real life down a drain? Yeah. It's a bad ending.

Now, the ending was great. And you went and fucking unloaded in the shower? Yeah, it was great. You went in real life and basically had sex with Jay's girl in real life. Yeah Here's you're like here's actual seamen for your thoughts. Yeah, I was joking about that part. That's what I would say It's not though. Yeah, but the way Lewis is up tomorrow. Yeah, Lewis told story tomorrow Yeah, Lou until then I, I got to whack off to Jacob's part of Jacob's dream. I'll tell no problem. I'll tell my Christine story, too.

I'm like, I wish Jacob would grab my leg like that and hold it up. He gives me the biz and sort of holds his body above it. It was one leg and then it was both. Then it was two. Would you would you like to show me on the floor? I'll be Christine No, sure you got a minute, but I'd love to see it. I fucking I'm in go light out No, I'm gonna describe We are gonna run it. We'll just try quick. Go ahead. Do I think tomorrow will prepare? No I think tomorrow will prepare. Oh, tomorrow Jacob will fuck the both of you. Hey, tomorrow maybe I'll wear a sweatpants so we can really get a nice,

I can get a nice stretch with my legs in. I'm gonna wear a pajama pants, a little thinner than sweatpants. Jacob, you're gonna be really happy with how flexible I am. It's gonna make you really feel good. Here's flexible as a Christine was. I'm gonna open up for you.

RobertKelliLive.com, like a flower. RobertKelliLive.com. BigJ big jcomedy dot com check us out this weekend Charleston and Hershey Bobby this weekend cancelling Boston. Yeah, well explain. We're scheduling. I got a bunch of the dates up there And you know what it's been fun black loser Roddick tails tomorrow The next day is tomorrow. Black, black, blue. It's the black flag. Black flag. Everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual serious XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, the whole damn thing, go to seriousxm.com slashbombfire for a special offer. That's right.

And go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our stand-up dates coming to a city near you. I stepped on your crackle crackle. I stink.