The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jake The Shark (feat. Sophie Buddle)

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Jacob gets into a shark costume with help from the hilarious Sophie Buddle.

I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J. Ocarson. We're actually a full radio show on Series XM, not just a podcast. For full episodes of the Bond Fire you can listen on the Series XM app. Go to seriesexm.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Ocarson and Robert Kelly. And I'm giving all my love to this world Only two were told I can't see I can breathe, know I'll be with me And now there's gonna change the way Because we can always think but never

And have the things we're changing for the way we see Whoa, it's the crazy world we're living in And I just can't see that half of us immersed in sin It's all we have to give this future Need help, but you are in sale and now how is it seen to be? We have a mouth and love, we have our useless, twisted bones For you, Smith, Twisting, Boom I'm there for you technology Oh, now there ain't no sound But we all have fun on ground

And I'm big and got a mess we're in Hard to know when to begin If I can slip Damn, would it be fun to play in the set of this video though? Or all the furniture just moving around? We keep falling through the walls It's too too heavy. We break the engine.

Fuck up the set. We'll fuck the gears up. The Bonfire Faction Talk Series XM 103, Robert Kelly, Big Jailcresson, sitting in with us everybody. We have a fun guest on a Monday, rare guest on a Monday. You can check out Spy Kids 3D at Union Hall

as part of the New York Comedy festival Tuesday November 7th at 7 30 It's the hilarious Sophie butle joining us again So so funny. I remember when we did the nasty show was the first time I met her in Montreal Mm-hmm, and you came up you were so nice and you're so quiet. I was like oh boy I know poor Sophie Sophie, you got the best end. Worst of me that way, like she was there for also my fucking Lisa Trigger, but he did the restaurant. Do you remember that?

Oh, oh, it showed me nuts. I'm a big reality TV fan, so it's nice to be part of the action. Oh yeah. Well you be, I think I like that. Are you Kardashians? Are you still owns the girls? Which, the girls?

Does it, do the still owns have a show? Oh fuck yes. Do you watch it? Yes I do, yes I love it. Do you live for it? I also, I don't feel as for it, but he's pretty certain he could finger bang any one of them under the right circumstance.

No, I said the, the brunette. Didn't say any one of them. Oh just the hottest one. Yes, the brunette, only the top shelf. Nevermind, only the hottest one. He said the only top shelf. Yeah, never mind only the hottest one He said the other ones have horse faces. No, I did not say that. I said I say that okay, but did they have horse pussy you can finger anybody you want? Chew that I do I like a horse pussy

No, but you killed I remember she went out and murdered. Oh, yeah, I don't know what happened We're at dinner. I remember the dinner. We brought every, me, you were hosting, right? Was I, who was hosting? I was hosting. You were hosting. And then we were like, let's take everybody, all the whole show at the dinner, which I thought was awesome.

And then they started to complain not so fee, but people started complaining that they couldn't bring everyone else they knew that was a festival. Oh yeah, I mean, you're talking. You're talking about, you're taking it. Yeah, it was a whole thing. Yeah, it was a whole thing. But then the fight was, oh, the chair. I you're taking yeah, it was all thing. Yeah, it was a whole thing But then the fight was what oh the chair

I sat down the chair. Yeah, you sat down the chair next to me I don't remember what the altercation was regarding like I remember the food we went to a Greek place Well Lisa went to go get Booz yeah, she wanted boo so she got what you get booz and so much When she left Jay was like I could totally finger bang Lisa and she was like what and we didn't like that she didn't like that and he was so when she came back I just sort of finger bang her. She didn't like that either. I didn't like that I doubled down Started finger bang in Yamanika She didn't like that and but then she started to like that

And then we all liked and then we used to go pissed off. I wasn't doing to her anymore. Yeah, she didn't like that And then I fingered Bobby. Yeah, I love that Bobby. So I'm trying to make friends. Yeah, and you use to Ziggy sauce Yeah, which was awesome. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. We'll cucumber trunks for a first-hands pleasure. It was your first nancy show. Get there on your stripes a little bit Yeah, I should put cucumbers on my butthole to make the wrinkles go down. Yeah Kikamers very hydrating Um, no, when so when we all Got there, like you guys came in the first group and there was a seat empty next to you

I asked if anybody was sitting there. They said no. Yeah, so I sat down and We started like ordering food when she came back, I asked her what was, I was like, Lisa, what's, I go, what's, she's like, face just looked like something happened while she was gone. I was like, what happened? Or here, and she was like,

not like, show them, it's like she didn't want to talk about it. All right. And then a few, maybe like 10 minutes later, or something, she was like, yeah, I want to make a toast. Cause it's okay. I'm in a better mood now.

Like, you know, yeah, like make a toast and I went, like a dumbass. I go, yeah, yeah, I'm like making toasts and I went, like a dumbass, I go, yeah, no, I thought you looked up, but somebody came in and I go, what's wrong? What was Molly? She goes, you took my fucking seat, but I'm not gonna make a big thing about it. And then I was like, well, now I'm gonna make a big thing

about it because you're a psycho-chot. And I made it a big thing. You did wrinkle her shawl that you had. And her cookie pocketbook she had. I mean, but this is where I like reality TV. It's too deep. I was going out each other over. Yeah. Bitch. Bitch. We took off my shoes. I took my earrings off and Vaseline my eyebrows. Come on, bitch. I'm the, I'm the realest bitch in this house. But when you, but when you sit at a tape, when you go on a big group, where you sit at that table, kind of does matter.

It meant nothing to me. I would have moved in two seconds. If she was like, oh, I was actually going to sit there. I'd go, sure. Because she had to sit down the end. And it was a lot, we didn't fill the table. So the end seat was a seat next to nobody. Across from nobody.

Across from nobody and nobody was at the end of it. There's not this. I agree with you, nobody was at the end of it. I was going to say, I was going to go left far, Bobby, to call me to nobody Yeah, that was a shot. You could you finger blast her also your face? I got you back that nobody bitch You guys made me sit in the bathroom when I didn't mind. Yeah I'm from Canada. Oh

Being immigrant is hard to think you sit in the bathroom at dinner. Yeah, but we're on your stuff. We're on your stuff in grounds though He's sitting in the bathroom at dinner. Yeah, but we should stop. We were on your stomping grounds though. Yeah. That was up in Canada. That was a good, was that the one where Yamaneca got into a fight with the ice cream person? I think there were several altercation staff.

All right. We had Yamaneca and Lees and Treygar on the show. It was going to be things all week. Then they ended up getting into a fight with each other. They didn't talk for a minute. Oh, yeah, yeah. Remember we got that review that was like the nasty show wasn't nasty enough and it's like, okay, we'll be on stage, but I'm saying lots of drama.

It's more called the caddy show. I remember, Yamanika got mad. Well, you were there. Remember we did we did a YKWD episode in between shows and she came down and she just was yapping. Y'all, Manika. So we went into the other room, all of us and locked the door. Remember that? And she was banging, she goes, open the door, motherfucker.

Seriously, open the fuck and she started screaming. If you don't open the fucking door right now, I will fucking never talk to you again. And we went from funny to like, we didn't want to open the door as a joke, to we didn't want to open the door because- Fear. Fear. I might kill you.

Fear say. You guys both, oldest siblings, that's really oldest sibling behavior. No, I'm younger. I am oldest sibling. You are older, okay. And you're youngest? I'm youngest, yeah.

Youngest, okay. So you're just trying to team up with an oldest so that you can bully somebody. I just do whatever Jay does. Yeah. That's what I do. That's what he told me. When I came on the show, just do what I do, kid. Yeah.

I'm taking him skateboard shop in this weekend. We're going to figure it all out together. That's pretty cool. It is pretty cool, actually. What's the show you're doing? So for New York comedy festival. Yeah, I mean, I called it Spike and 3D, the voice of a generation, but it's just because I had forgotten to give it a title, and they were sending me a lot of emails.

So I just did that kind of quickly. It's not in reference to any of my material. So. It's just called Spikens 3D. Yeah, Spikens 3D, the voice of a generation. And then they told me that it was too long, and I was like, okay, well, it doesn't really matter either way, because there's no Spikens references in it. Have you guys seen Spikens 3D?

I did. Is that after your time? I have a 10-year-old time. Or is that long after your time? No, I mean, it is long after my time, but because I have a kid, I have to watch it. Now, tell you what, this, I love it. I thought it your time. I have a 10 year old time. Or is that long after your time? No, I mean, it was long after my time, but because I have a kid, I have to watch it. And I'll tell you what, I love it. I thought it was great.

It's quite good. It's awesome. I've seen it four times. It's, isn't it like weirdly like, it's Robert Rodriguez, right? Antonio Benderas. And the wife is smoking too. No, I mean, Robert Rodriguez is the director, I think.

No, it's pronounced like Antonio Benderas. It's, but there is, it is think it's pronounced like Antonio Benderas It's really but there's is in it. He's the father. I'm so horny for Antonio Benderas The father and spike is treaty particularly that's Toronto now. I haven't seen that's Toronto What oh my god with Penelope Cruz to right now? No with Samek, who's the best she ever looked as an elevator. Yeah, absolutely. But he would, didn't they do two desparados? I don't know, but he did too. He's in that one.

There's two of them. There's two. There's the original desparados. The first one, he's gorgeous. And the first one, then there's the one he did. I did, I think they did a remake of the movie, but the first one, he was not. Il Marriacci is not in that.

El Marrax is the first one, then Desperado, and that's where he said it is sexiest. I was so horny for Antonio Benderas in Zorro that I took fencing classes for like five years. Yeah, that's true. Why? I put my daughter in fencing class that's trying to get her horny for other women.

Oh, my God. Did you really f fence for a while? Yeah, because of that. It's so funny. Why would anybody learn a hobby if not because you're horny for somebody that does that hobby? The reason my daughter did it was no hornyness, it was her mother put her in a bunch of like

tried to get her interested in a bunch of off-brand sports because easy to get scholarships. Yeah, I have nobody does. To like college. Nobody does pencil, nobody does shop put, that kind of thing. It's very like a question. You know, like very few people go to schools and even have some like, what's that?

What's that? It's just the horse dancing. Horse dancing. Yeah. I'm actually just got a scholarship in Cornhole to uh... no he got a scholarship from getting Cornhole to me whoa whoa what are you thinking about it?

I think I think you were like I think that how you got a scholarship? I think wow wow well there's just handed out scholarships here huh? yeah if you get fucked in the butt I guess is it just not acknowledged that Cornhole the game was like after Cornhole, the word for someone getting butt fucked or their asshole.

That's a good point. That's a very good point, Jay. Nobody ever, I think it was what came first. Maybe that came first. And people who played people who played that, um gay sex and we're like, you know, this reminds me of that barbecue. I went to throwing bags and fucking holes. Yeah, but at the time those four gay guys were in a field throwing bags and holes and then

they fucked each other in the ass. Bill Martin is a thing this week. Like the new rules thing. And his smart guy his first joke. Yeah, smart. Oh smart guy. His first joke. Yeah, it's smart. Oh, you can't even say Bill Mart without having that smile. It's like Bill Mart this week. Did you hear what he said?

Oh, you did him here. Did you guys check out real time this week? Did you check out his monologue at the beginning? I mean, it was epic. I just was. It was epic. Lightly. This is the new rules.

I guess Big J is getting a scholarship now Fuck it. This is the new rules. He's- I guess Big J is getting a scholarship now. Yeah. Listen how not smart this joke is. I just made me laugh. He just goes, why is there still a candy called Sugar Daddy's? Like, how does it still exist? It's like, I know.

It didn't mean anything. But now the name's taken on a new meeting. And it shouldn't be there. And you do the same thing to the candy you do to your sugar daddy, by the way. You suck it. Yeah, you suck it. You're gonna fuck your teeth up. Except you paid to get it. That the way you suck it. You suck it. It's a fuck your teeth.

Except you pay to get it. That's a different one. That's true. Yeah, you're buying a sugar daddy. Well, no, I guess that makes sense though. But I mean, that's a real world. We, I think me and I was seeking arrangements, right? Yeah, I had a lot of friends that were sugar babies.

Really? Yeah, I had a friend that did sugar baby and it paid for her master's degree. And I remember when she was hooking up with this guy, he paid her in Bitcoin. This was years ago. And I remember yelling at her, being like, get real money. And then the Bitcoin ended up paying off her entire university. And she bought like an investment property. That's awesome for her. And I don't know. There's nothing to leave her. She bought a pair of leather gloves and slapped you in the face. But I was talking about it. What did she do?

Did she have to, because a lot of times the story, I don't ever always believe it is, you don't have to do anything. You just like show up once in a while and like you know watch and pee, and then you can leave. It depends how much risk you have, honestly.

Like there's obviously there's like young girls that here you don't have to do anything and they go on a date and then there's like a rich guy and he like pressures her into doing something and we'll give them a little bit of money. But if you go into it with street smarts and kind of knowing how to play the situation, you can either get away with not doing anything or get away with doing however much you want and getting the proper money for it. But you need to have balls to do it.

You got to nag him a lot too, right? I don't know, I didn't do it. But I've had a boyfriend for seven years so I give a boyfriend. Yeah do I'm gonna leave? No I do. I have one too. I have one too. Same one. You know there's a sugar baby too candy by the way. Yeah the little little caramel chakka go that my favorite. I can't put my teeth hers now. Your teeth, are you kidding me? Why do you have sensitive teeth? No, they're veniars. They'll come out. Oh, really?

Oh, they look good. Did you just got them? Like six months ago now? Yeah, they look fantastic. Do they have to whittle you down? Oh, yeah. I didn't make them whittle. Yeah, they whittle them while down, little whittles.

Yeah, they look a little bad boy under these. Jacob. If you bite into a caramel apple, will they pop out? It's strong chance. It'll just be in the tooth. So you can't have sweets? You can't have any sweets? No, I can. By the way, I can't be apple. I probably wouldn't have done with my original teeth that much. I get so worried about that. But they say like don't bite an apple. Almost like don't take unnecessary risks with them. I guess. You're just you just heard the don't do apples part.

That was a big one. Okay. And I would assume caramel is no good. Yeah. For money. Yeah. For money was nine. Basically vegetables anymore.

Yeah. I'm talking about straight pizza diet. That's a point. It's like pizza is really easy to bite into. Why did you get pineers? Why? I didn't like my teeth. My front to teeth like crossed over like a static choice Yep, just bothered me. I'm at that bad. He's I never noticed you. I think a little snaggle to it's fun

Yeah, Christine was like bum that I was getting them I Think funky teeth is fun. It's a personality. She's called funky teeth funky. Yeah, Jay's Monkey teeth. Monkey. No, J-Zo's, Monkey teeth. Monkey teeth. You know, could we, I keep forgetting, it's like sitting right next to me here,

but we have Jacob's birthday present, Jacob had a birthday. Jacob, happy birthday. Yeah. Not long ago, we forgot to get your present. Well, we got him a present. Yes. We did get him a present.

But this took a long time. That was a second present. Second present. Christine, if you could present it to Jacob, please. I didn't expect this at all Come on you expect this is a big bag with happy birthday written on it You could tell a woman had something to do with this because the other one was just the bag Would you like tissue paper? Yeah, there's some tissue paper some presentation and then here we go. He's opening up a bag. It says thank you

Oh, this is very very exciting. Oh my god. Are you gonna have you gonna have you need help open in that? I Know you guys don't have Christmas in Canada so fee, but this is what it feels like. Yeah, they don't celebrate birthdays anymore Did you know that? Yeah, we're better than I Think you guys are gonna fold your hovers witness up there I don't know what it is. I think you guys are gonna fold your hovers witness up there. Yeah. I'll do it. Oh, man.

Wait a second, Jacob, wait, wait, don't cut that. That would be a rookie mistake. It's time for a rookie mistake brought to you by Snickers. Rookie mistake. Maybe you just need a Snickers. Snickers, the official chocolate bar of the NFL. Check out Snickers.com slash NFL to learn more now slash to that bag I mean it's nickers not gonna be mad that you were just landing slandering caramel so much

No, no, no, no more of a new get company. Yeah, they're no get. Yeah, they're very no get Jacob, you put your sick ass knife for well. knife oh he's opening up Relax dude. So if he's got a boyfriend she said I love he doesn't have a knife. I'm in fire I love the way Jacob opens up presents like a kid. He just throws the wrapper on the floor. Oh buddy Oh, the way other way look at yay It's the shark suit dude. It's the shark baby. It's your shark blanket. It's a shark blanket You have to see do you see now? Oh, okay, you get in it. You got to get in it. Get in it. Do you got to get in it? Dude, I got on dress now. Yeah, barely I got to take your jacket off. That's it. Dude take off two of your jackets. Yeah

Yeah, just take off two jackets and leave on seven layers seven layers, you should be able to get in that bad boy I can leave on both your pairs of pants too Bonfire contact Sophie it gets Unbearably cold in here. Yeah, Jacob Sophie but all contacts you some Canada you look like a puss and all those jackets I came in here sweating ocean gate. That's so funny. Thank you It took everything in Sophie's power to put on full coverage pants today Here we go. Dude, dude, dude, uh, adult shark. Uh, adult shark, but dude, you stepped through the mouth.

You stepped through the mouth, baby. Yeah, yeah, it's you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's your up. Yeah, you stepped through like a little onesie. Yeah. Oh, there you go. You're cutie botany. I mean, I want to take off your shoes, probably, but that is fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, there you go. You're cutie-buttuity. I mean, I want to take off your shoes, probably.

But that is fine. Leave them on. Yeah, I know. I think it's fine. Leave your shoes on. Leave your feet will get cold. Yeah, you don't want your tutsies to get cold. Yeah, there you go.

Look at you, a little thin person. Scootin' right in there. Oh, you're doing so good so far. It's like a silly, pristine, if you're out there listening everybody. Christine's filming this, not helping Jacob. He was gonna probably eat shit at some point here Jackie moment help you you good?

Would you like Bobby to dress you? Oh I see it's one Yeah I thought there were two legs There are two It just goes to one double foot fin Jacob is never left a girl's house in a hurry. You can tell that.

I know this shark is really struggling to choke them down. Can you help him pull out of the... Please, please. Can you help him pull out the back up? So if it's gonna help you. Here you go. I think he... oh my god oh my my I love that more than anything ever Jacob can you look over here please oh my it's it's perfect right

it's perfect oh your hands your little hands come out. Oh wait, you gotta, you gotta get a photo from the side. I was doing swimming today, like a gliding through the ocean. You're doing great. I thought the mouth zippered but now. Oh my god. That is fantastic. That's so cute.

You like it? Yeah. And I love that the ocean gate hoodie is inside. looks like you ate that submarine. I don't know if I heard earlier Sophie's totally horny for guys in shark outfits. Yeah, and Antonio Benderas. Yeah, yes Those two things and all but just those two things Antonio Benderas. Do you need help getting back in your chair, your little shark? No, I think I'm good. I think I'm good.

The slippers really are, I mean, I'm good. Yeah, you're supposed to be naked in those. No, no cold will be escaping through those feet, but I assure you that. That's so cozy. Thank you both. Thank you for staying in jail.

I hope right now there's a bomb scare, and we all have to run out of the building. I don't know how I would actually walk in this thing. Hellariously. Hop. Yeah. Oh my god. Jacob, go to the bathroom.

Oh shit. Wait, look someone's good. Oh shit. Wait, someone's giving us over the door. Hang on, Jacob just went down like a second. Jacob just broke his head. Are you okay? Jacob just broke his fin.

You really can't walk in this. It feels like how you walk when you're about to go tell your mom that you just threw up. Jacob just broke his head. Are you okay? Jacob just broke his fin It feels like how you walk when you're about to go tell your mom that you just threw up Yeah, oh you just shit you pants at a nightclub Wait, Jacob. I want you to be right because dude almost keeps opening the door a bunch of times and if he does I want to see this Who is it? Let him in? It would be great if it was just Jacob on the floor in a shark outfit It was the president of the company just coming to say hi. I'll put the head on. Yeah, put the hat on.

I don't know if it's it's more of a head than head. DJ Lil' I'll give you 200 bucks right now. If you carry Jacob and put him outside the door and let the door clothe Dolan Baguette in the studio, making be a shark in the hallways. I'll flop him over my shoulder. Jacob, hallway shark. We got to get some hallway shark footage. Chum the hallway. He'll go out there. Throw some snacks out in the hall. Have you guys ever eaten shark?

No, we're American. No, no, no, no. I'll tell you. We don't do that. Sweet heart. I've been told, like I eat like I love scallops and I've gotten scallops of the shittiest of like Diner's and a lot of people say a lot of times that's shark meat, but I don't know why that would be Why would that be cheaper or something? Yeah, there's a thing called the dogfish that looks like a shark Exactly like a shark and that's the fish they use in England a lot of times for for Chips fish chips. Okay. It's like a shark. It's a dog, it's called dogfish, but it looks like a shark,

but I don't, I don't, you can kill, I think, in Florida, you can kill one bull shark a year and eat the meat, right? What? I know you can kill sharks there. I hate it. I wish they would stop doing that.

Yeah, why? Because they're all endangered. Well, who's endangered? Sharks. So what? They kill, it's very hard. It, who's endangered? Sharks. So what? It's got hundreds of millions a year. Yeah, it's important for the underwater economies, the wrong word, environment for sharks because they

use the water economy. Why, are they the Jews of the sea? They're the top of the food chain. So get rid of them. We all start having the live off of eating jellyfish. Why? Because they kill. There'll be more so- There'll be more so- There'll be more so- There'll be more so- get rid of them we all start having the live off of eating jellyfish why the big moral predators that would eat the jellyfish and you can't have jelly fish if you have a near so that's you should care about that true i'm sorry what

did you say they'll kill all the predators that the jellyfish what are the i'm done but i'm not that fucking down sharks are top of the food chain yeah and if we kill them, there's more other things that they don't eat that we can eat, like tuna and other fish. I'm, I fish. I'm lost. I'm lost.

Where is the jellyfish in the story now? What happened to the jellyfish? Yeah, where's the jellyfish are becoming prolific in the ocean because of the acidification? It's a crazy word to use for jellyfish prolific. Yeah, acidification. I don't know either what either one of those mean, but it's too big for jellyfish. It is. Yeah. What's going on? Acidic prolificness. In jellyfish or the populations. But are you having an earnest conversation about this while we're going to shark? No, I like this. Bobby triggered me like a Dr. Shark.

I have an interesting fact about eels. Oh, please. This is so strange. So scientists don't know how eels reproduce. And for a really long time, they didn't even think that eels had genitals. And they figured out sort of where they think they're reproducing, but nobody's ever seen eels reproduce.

They have no idea. They know that it's like in a sea within another sea. That like eels will go and the little eels reproduce. They have no idea. They know that it's like in a sea within another sea that like eels will go and the little eels will appear, but eels have never been seen reproducing laying eggs or anything like that. Really? Yeah, it's like really mysterious. So eels are magical? Yeah. Wow. Or they're made entirely of genital. Maybe they are the genital. They're the genital. They're their shark genitals. And if we kill the sharks,. They're the genital. Broom. They're shark genitals. And if we kill the sharks, we don't have eels. Jacob's here to say don't kill sharks.

Don't kill sharks. Why, they suck. No, they don't. I hate that you can't go to in the beach now and Cape Cod long Island without having to deal with a great white shark. Now we turned it into Australia. We rooting for jaws Yeah, dude, we do love swimming in the ocean. I I like swimming in the ocean without having to worry about

Fucking getting bitten by his dumb friend the shark. But you do you love to go splash around? I'm a pull line. I love splashing around really I'm a lake guy, but I like the ocean to lake that's I like to but it's dirty now you see you's dirty, that's dirty. I like that too, but it's dirty. Now, you see, you guys are talking about your lakes. I'm talking about Squam Lake, the cleanest lake. We're no one pisses. Squam Lake. Cleanest Lake in the country, one of them.

That's probably not true. 100% true. And. You know what I'd say something, when you say 100, but you put the like the holla bread on it. That's true. I think that's what it's not true. Ah, you're crazy.

I'm happy guys are talking about Israel Palestine a lot on this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're taking bread on it. That's true. I think that's what it's not true. Ah, you're crazy. I'm happy guys are talking about Israel Palestine a lot on this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're digging into it. Yeah, yeah. He's Hamas. I'm Israel. I think.

Oh, drama drama. I got to know that. Yeah, I think Palestine's really got some good ideas going on. And Bobby is super Israel. Yeah, he actually thinks that Gaza is like a camp, like a Jewish internment camp. It's like a camp like a Jewish like a internment camp. It's a good internment camp.

That's what he said. Also, it's the Holocaust on the other side. Israel bombed the hospital and murdered children. Yeah, but yeah, but it was actually Hamas bombed it themselves. I don't think any of that's right. There was no children in it. Well, it was actually confused about the hospital one, because I felt like the first story that came out was that

Israel Israel bombed it and then the next story that came out was Israel was like no It was his Bola that bombed it and then after that Israel again was like no It was us and we got the guy that we were trying to get it was it was a Hamas Jewish bullshit It was it was a mass One of their own rockets because they're not really that great of rockets. Right. They went up and came down and it happens a lot and it didn't hit the hospital, it hit near the hospital.

And then they said it was a rocket from it, but Al Jazeer, who is the news for them, Arab news, showed the video of the rocket. You can see the rocket come from there and went back down. Really? It's called a kind of rocket. You can see the rocket come from there and went back down. Really? The short cover. They kind of, look, you know what? I'm not smart, but that doesn't make me mean that I don't

have an opinion. You have it, I mean. I'm trying to figure out, like, I have no idea how to find out what is and is not correct, because there's so much misinformation from every sort. Like one thing that I've really been enjoying is like how American media covers it, because obviously like the government is very pro-Israel. And so the media that the government is associated with is very pro-Israel. And they really won't even say Israel's done anything wrong. Like right now they did the big power outage.

Like then now it's like another block out. Israel gives Gaza its power and water and stuff like that. Yeah, and so they've said that. I can help you right now. You want to know what side you're on? They behave. You know what side you're on? Do you like beheading babies?

Yes. Okay, then you're on Gaza. Okay. You're with Hamas. There you go. Damn, but I don't even know some kinky-ish shit. Yeah, I just love the spin of it because they're like, oh, they're really helping Gaza get their screen time down.

So sweet of them. That is true. Screen time's actually really bad for you, so. It's really bad for you. It's so nice to get the blue light down before you sleep. And they don't have blue blockers out there. Ha ha ha ha. I just choose.

I'll explain this. You going back to sharks? I just, I don't actually don't have anything to say. I just want to put my wisdom fins together. Wisdom fins. Can I just say this? I really love Jacob's wisdom fins. Hey Jacob Shark, what do you think about all this crazy

Hezbollah Hamas? Israeli shit. Jacob you swam you swam by you swim up the river right up the Jordan River you've been up there What's going on up there? Yeah like a bull shark. Yeah, what's going on up there when you're up crazy rubber? Yeah It's crazy. I just wanted to do that. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, Jacob's putting his fins together. Yeah, this is a thoughtful fingers thoughtful fence. Let me break it down for you like this guys. Jacob's a huge fan of short to give context. Sophie is Jacob loves your favorite animal. I would say so yeah. Yeah, that's why I forgot you love them. I do love them. You love a great white shark

Who doesn't me made one it was in one of the greatest movie of all time? I was that that was a robot. Yeah, that was I didn't break your heart just now. Did I based on a real just Santa Claus you based on a real shark John. Yes, it was not what what we're not talking to base on what great white Gary Gary the great white you don't like jaws. No, everyone likes jaws, but I'm not rooting for jaws Yeah, I'm rooting for the death of jaws and every jaws I've ever seen. I want them to die jaws followed my mom to the Bahamas when that movie came out and jaws filed the family to the Bahamas My mother was awesome to Bahamas scared Scared the shit out of me. Jaws started to slaughter of sharks in this country.

But by the time deep blue sea came around that movie, great movie, then it became, then you real, then they started saying that the people are the real sharks. Not though. We're not. Hold on. I heard Jaws is meheading babies, so what do you say to that? Yeah, I guess you're pro babies being beheaded by these assholes. Radical, great white sharks. Look at all these sharks. On TV, they have little babies underneath them holding on.

They kidnap those babies. You're being radicalized. You have sharks always have so many scars, like fucking prisoners. You know why? Because they're assholes, and they don't even like each other. They just fight all the time. You know what I love when the killer whale eats the great white shark liver.

Just comes up from there. Just the liver, yeah. They do, they do. They don't bite it, huh? Yeah, they're doing that. Where did you eat sharks, Offee? I didn't eat a shark ate a beluga whale one time. What?

You fucking? Is that fucked up? Japanese? Yeah. Where did you get beluga whale in Japan? I was opening for Reggie Watts one year at Toronto just for laughs and we had time in between our shows and he was like I know a great place for peluga. He was like he was like Joe is having a dinner. Do you want to go? And I was like sure I don't like I't know. And we get there and still rogan. And it was at this place, it was at this place in Toronto called Antler, which is like they have weird meats and stuff.

And it was just several courses of meats that nobody had ever had. It was like we had like, Bluga Whale and- I killed a whale with my compound bowl last Wednesday. And then I smoked it over my solo stove in my dressing room. Now here's some milk dumplings. Yeah. And here's some pig balls.

Mooseburger. Giraffe tartar. And sprinkle some of those sasquatch tonic on top. I don't use regular salt that's bad for you. There is no god. What was the craziest thing in that thing? So you went to Hitler. Was beluga the craziest thing? I think beluga was the craziest thing in that? So you've been there, so you went to Antler. Was Beluga the craziest thing?

I think Beluga was the craziest thing because it came in one of those spoons that usually you get with fo soup, one of those big porcelain spoons, and it's just like a pile of blubber, and you throw it back. Really quick, one of the worst. Oh, we have narwhal too.

One of the worst, that's nuts. One of the worst fat names I've been, just hurts every time, being called the Baluga Whale. Oh, of course. And then, with... Baluga's the word of fat. With the picture, always hurt my feelings. FYI, I know you're out there and you're listening.

Good job, Baluga. Oh man. Look at you, Baluga Whale. Jokes on them, Baluga's delicious. It's delicious, Baluga's question. You said, what was the last season of that? What was the last season of that? The one that has the horn.

Yeah, the unicorn whale. It's the unicorn of the sea, dude. The narwhal, have you ever seen these a fucking nuts? They're crazy, they're so pretty. I want one of these. Sounds like a skateboarding move. No, dude, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh, I mean, I want one of their swords. Is it a tusk? I have no idea, I want to cut one off. Apparently they're very mysterious too.

I imagine we do know how they fuck unlike Yelz, but I've heard that they're actually, there's some very little footage of them too. Yeah, they use that fucking thing on the front. And you ate some of that? Yeah. What was that texture? It was kind of rubbery.

It's what you'd think, it's like it's weird. I don't even know what I would think it's like. I would never eat whale ever. I'm liking seafood less as I get older. I'm liking it more. Really? I never liked seafood. Never liked oysters. I was with Patrice's mom. The first year of the benefit. And I was like, let me take you to lunch. And I took her and Keith to lunch and we went to wherever the fuck it was. And we got, she goes, she got oysters. Got like 36 oysters. Right, mom of O'Neal and someone else is dying. True. But Keith was there, order whatever you want. It's on Fatsos' dime. And I think he called me a Baluga. Oh, Keith, you piece of shit. Hey, that beluga's gonna pay. And then, uh. Well, God struck him for you.

She said this to me that helped me. She goes, Bobby, when you take the oyster, just think like you're biting in the ocean. And that psychologically did something where I actually felt like I was biting in the ocean and I love oysters now. And I love all kinds of weird seafood like that. I would never eat that thing. No. No, because that looks like my friend Jim Norton, and I would oysters now. And I love all kinds of weird sea food like that. I would never eat that thing.

No. No, because that looks like my friend Jim Norton, and I would feel terrible. God, it's all a fat forehead. Oh my God. A beluga whale. A beluga whale. That's a beluga whale.

I think it's squishy too when you touch it. I've seen videos of people poking that forehead. Oh my God, you ate that. I would eat anything. Okay, well let's not go down there. Jay, you. Would you try people? Oh yeah. We had that on antler. I would eat anything. Okay, well let's not go down there, Jay. You would. Would you try people?

Oh yeah, we had that on antler. I was from Incore. Human. Yeah. I said you were a Rogan party, all right? Who's Rogan's enemy? We had this on the spit. Guys, this is Brian Callan's calf.

And Chris Delia's ass cheek. Are those his enemies? No, they're friends. Well, do you guys remember Jacob? Well, you might remember this one on Howard Stern. jake that's a no they're friends jake of you remember this one uh... on how it's turned you know jeff the drunk has the dead arm and jason capitol who worked there said like if if it was cooked like he would eat like if they were at one point they were going to amputate

his arm they didn't do it though but he was like would you eat a piece of that arm he said yeah he would try it i could not possibly. I'd have a little nibble. Jay, I'd have a little nibble. You try. I'm curious.

You try what? People. Human meat. Oh, what the fuck is going on? I mean, we know that I need Bobby because I love Blu-Ga. You just, you just slope it right there. Wow. I hear my feelings and got me a horny

You got much I love Baluga I spoon full of obvious. I'm not the fattest woman here by the way anymore No, no, no Christine. No, that's fucked up to say about Christine I didn't say that about Christine you were just talking about how heavy she was no I wasn't I know that you can't were just talking about how heavy she was. No, I wasn't. I know that you can't tell, but Jacob is giving break-fins right now. Oh, we're getting break-fins right now. Is it time? Yes, time.

Sorry, guys, break-fins time. We're hanging out with Sophie but I'll spy kids 3D. It's not written the whole thing. What I want to call it the right thing all the time. Spy kids 3D, the voice of a generation. It's going to be a Union hall, which is an awesome venue. As part of the New York comedy festival tomorrow, everybody. 7.30 PMs, she's so funny.

Get tickets, not in New York all the time, so get out and see her right now. Tomorrow night 7.30 PM. Big joke, as soon as gonna be in Milwaukee, this weekend, the 10th and the 11th Philadelphia. Push that Philly show. Yeah, push that Phil live casino. Listen, go.

This is your hometown. You're going to sell it out, dude. Let's hope so. November 18th after that, he's going to be in Cleveland, Houston, Providence, Feticket, and all other dates. BigJComedy.com. Check out his special. It's on YouTube right now.

Bobby Kelly and Pustel and PA on Saturday, November 11th and Baltimore, November 17th and 18th. After after that Don Yabeach improv, Saratoga Springs, Wisconsin for tickets and all tour dates. He's all over the place everybody. It's Robert Kelly live and check out Killbox available right now on PunchUp.live. Yeah hit us up on social media too guys. Yeah follow us on. Follow us. Yes we'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Hey everybody, thanks for listening. That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show. If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer.

That's right, and go to bigjcomedy.com and robbercallylive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you. Go lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo KellyLive.com to check out our standup dates coming to a city near you.