The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jammed Up with Ian Fidance

Episode Date: May 15, 2025

The lead singer of Barenaked Ladies approaches Bobby before the show to let him know that he's a fan. Jay makes everyone sing their hit "One Week" but only thirty seconds at a time because of new broadcast rules about playing music. Jacob brags about his radio instincts and Jay puts those instincts to the test so he doesn't get jammed up with lawsuits. Ian Fidance has a problem taking off all his jewelry before sex. Jay insists that the whole Bonfire crew take part in a "Buttplug Challenge." You can imagine the logistics of that. Ian Fidance with be performing at Punch Line Philly May 16th & 17th! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Give me a favor Lou hard cut that hard cut Only like 30 seconds of music on the show. Yeah, but is it 30 seconds and then stop and then another 30 is it re Lou turn it back on it 30 seconds and then stop and then another 30? Is it re- Ooooo Louis turn it back on for 30 seconds please And the reason why we're playing this Bonfire Is not, there's a reason behind it

Faction Talk, Sirius XM 103 You can put it back on now I think Big J.O. Prasen, the great Robert Kelly is always sitting across from me The whole crew is in this motherfucker Hey sweetie, hey We're playing this song because we're out front having our little lunchtime. Bobby if you wouldn't mind, Luke cut that off please. Sorry yeah. Go ahead. Ah thanks buddy appreciate that I don't want to get in trouble. We're having a little meeting and I was approached by this interesting man and I was a little nervous. I guess if we work together.

Asked if he was like have we worked together before? And I thought that was literally, oh, that's my wife. Took me a second to realize, does she not know you're on a radio show at this exact time? That's crazy. She doesn't care about me. Oh. She cares about the checks that they send to her.

But this is how, this is... Yeah, but she doesn't care about how the fucking pudding's made. Oh, I got you. She cares about just making pudding. You can turn it back on again, look. So, yeah, the guy walked up, he's like, I was a little nervous, because I didn't recognize him.

Well, I didn't recognize him at first either, and I was gonna be, he came over very brazen, in a sense that I was gonna be like, start making jokes to the crew around us, like, hey buddy, just walk right up and barge in. Hooty, I think he had his asshole, just walk right up and barge in. Hootie, I think he had his asshole essentially in Lou's face.

Am I right, is that where you were sitting? No. No, that was his face. No, no, no. Oh, you're right, it may have been Black Lou's face. He was in your face. He put his back to you to talk to Bobby.

What's that? It was in between you and me. Oh, it was Jacob. Oh, Jacob was sitting there. Oh, wait, it was Black Lou moves, right. If you took Lou and Lou and put them together, you make a Jacob. That's true.

Physically. Both of us together make a Jacob. Yeah. If we put you guys in that fly thing, the thing that showed up in the third pod. A Jacob. Would be a Jacob. A Jacob would come out.

Please, Lou, what are you trying to get? It's fucking, turn the goddamn music off. What's wrong with you, dude? Sorry. Were you at the outdoor lunch spring meeting? Were you at the lunch meeting? I was. Didn't you hear the new music rules?

I guess I wasn't listening hard enough. God damn. Just shut it down. God damn. Well, anyways, the guy came up, introduced himself, and he was one of the singers of... Bare Naked Ladies. Which was cool. But I feel like, did I not give him a- I think it was Chicken of China, the Chinese chicken.

Did I not give him enough? You didn't give him enough because you didn't have any idea until I think we walked in here not a minute ago that that was the guy from Bear Naked Ladies. He said he was from Bear Naked Ladies. Did he say that? He said it to me. He goes, I'm gonna ban Bare Naked Ladies.

We're doing a gig here, but I know you. And as soon as he said that, I panicked. Because you thought you were gonna have to be quizzed on what he does. Well, no, I immediately looked at you. Yeah. Hoping that you'd be like. I did.

Yeah. I did know. And then I looked at you and I go, hey, this is, he goes, I'm a big fan. You're a stand-up comedian, I'm a big fan, Louie, blah, blah, blah, I love your comedy. I was like, oh, this is Big Jay. He's a very funny guy, do a radio show,

throw it over the air. Did you guys say I love your stuff? I think you did. Did I say I love your stuff? You had that vibe if you didn't say it. Yeah, you had that vibe. Well, listen, listen. I do love it.

From the Bear Naked Least, I even throw him like, you're based out of Canada, right? Come on, that was pretty good. This is going him like you're based out of Canada, right? That was pretty good by the way we could play hours upon hours of Evelyn. Yeah, we're No, I like their music I've never seen them live, but I don't I feel like you're right. You like their music I should have hang on one second before you do it Before you do it before you, before you humiliate me to make yourself better.

Humiliate you? I'm your partner. Well, yeah, I know you are. I'm your partner, dude. Dude, I know you're partner and I went too far. I judged you too quick. Go ahead, what were you gonna say? I don't remember.

You're a, you like their music. Yeah, I like their music. Chicken to China, the Chinese Chicken. It You like their music. Yeah, I like their music. Chicken of China, the Chinese Chicken. It's called One Week. Yeah. Um, you knew that. I know you knew that. It's called One Week. I can't think.

By the Bare Naked Ladies. How do you live with him, Christine? I can't. I can't deal with him. But, now, by the way, I'm gonna be honest. Can I tell you something? Can I come clean? Go ahead, come clean. I don't have the answer to this question. I don't have the answer.

I can't even tell if you're right or wrong Tell me one more bear naked lady song The the hit they just came out of the new album Maybe they did Did they yeah, they look it up. They just came out with a brand new album. You're probably right. Yeah, just came up with it It's really good theme song to well, they just they were just on them. They just came out with a brand new album. You're probably right. Yeah, just came up with it. It's really good. I know they do the theme song to... And they were just on...

That nerd show. Oh yeah, the Big Bang Theory. Yeah, they do that song. Man, they're probably loaded off that song. Yeah, well, you think so? Oh yeah. Well, that's like the Rembrandts with them. Yeah, I mean, One Week is their big hit.

So, I like that song. One Week, and we're ba-ba-ba-dipped that one. We just played. Yeah So I like that song. One Week, and we went, that one we just played. I like that song. Yes, everyone likes that song. One Little Slip is a good one too though. Okay, so you pulled up the list now. I didn't pull up nothing, dude. How's One Little Slip go?

Buddy, it's one little slip. Do me a favor, sing 30 seconds of it, because that's all I can compare it to. Dude, The Big Bang Theory is a good one, man. I had 10,000. That was a good one. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. I'm watching you look at your phone. I'm not looking at my phone, dude.

Nobody knows anything. This is a Big Bang Theory theme song? Yeah, it's a good song. How long is it? 20 seconds. 20 seconds, perfect. 20 seconds. 20 seconds, perfect. Now, do you think that they made a one-time fee on that?

Or they get money forever? Do you think that they made a one-time fee on that? Or they get money forever? This is a question we have to ask when he wants to come back on the show. Well, because I did step up at the end. I pulled my shit together at the last minute and said, you guys should come on our show. Yeah.

But I panicked, because I was gonna be like, hey, we're doing a show right now. I should have said, come up. I should have said, come up. Maybe. But I didn't wanna. Here's the problem though, we were gonna have to show right in front of him

that none of us to this moment, still right now currently know his name. This is why I panicked, because I was like, if they come up right now, Jay's gonna know everything, and I'm just gonna have to sit there and nod my head. And I would have made this face. You know.

I would have stared at him and eventually went, it's been, it's been one week. So I just said next time so I could brush up on my bare naked ladies, next thing, he's gonna be in town in a month. And then of course, Big Jim, who is the professional that he is, said who's your connection, I know that. I got it, he took over, which was great.

Because I panicked. I was like, when he said bare naked ladies, I was like, oh my God, I know it. He took over, which was great. Because I panicked. I was like, this is when he said Bare Naked Ladies, I was like, oh, my God, I know you. I just don't know you. Which one was it? It was that one. No, no, no. Yes. This guy? No.

Yes. Yes. Is that the singer? It's one of the two singers. Yeah. The two in the middle, The one that looks like Fat Nate. And Fat Nate and the other guy are the singers. Was it Fat Nate that I met? Could you put it on the video, Christina? I just want to see which part of the song he sings. I didn't meet... I met the one to the left, dude.

No. I didn't meet that one. No, you didn't. That's Fat Nate. We gotta call him that when he comes in too, right? God damn it, Don. You can turn it on. You can turn it up. 10, 11, 12, 13.

It's him, it's like a guy playing guitar right now. That guy? 20 him. It's him. Oh, so he's the rapper, yeah. I met him, he didn't look like him. Drop the Santa Lou. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

This is 25 years ago. Yeah, you are really judging him 25 years ago. He probably knows me. That looks like none of them, the guys we met. Go ahead, Lou, you can turn it back up. That's not the guy I just met. It's exactly the guy you just met. No.

The finest of the flavors. That's not the guy I just met. It's exactly the guy you just met. We got lawyers on our side. You guys got a show. I don't have... I don't really... I really should have stayed much more connected to my Jewish side. Had I known that a corporation was gonna fucking try to push all their weight down on top of me over my fair usage of songs I thought they owned. We just can't... We can't do that. Now, this is a live performance.

Can we play? Is this only 30 seconds also? Use your instincts, Jacob. Jacob, radio instinct me. Yes, it counts. Okay. Your instincts mean nothing to me if you don't have the song playing in the background. Jacob, instinct us.

Hang on. Instinct us. Oh, there he is. You're right, it is him. He got old. What the fuck? Am I waiting for this, or? Yeah, yeah, you he is. You're right. It is him. He got old What the fuck I waiting for this yeah Oh, I fit his This is okay. Close your eyes. You're going to close your eyes. Those are telling me. This is okay. Okay good

This is fine. Yes, I turn it back up, please Black Lou, please start counting from five seconds Into a microphone, please start counting from five seconds. Into a microphone, please, quietly. We would have had them all up here, but here's the problem. He knew me. The rest of the guys could give a damn. He's the singer. Was the rest of the band?

He's the guy. And I, but I treated him like, I mean, I didn't give enough. I should have gave more. I'm telling you for sure. Was I? Was I? You were. I was about to be, she wasn't there. Oh, you weren't there. I'm telling you for sure. Was I? Was I? I'm asking you. I was about to be, she wasn't there.

Oh you weren't there. I was about to be weird to her. Because I was, you know what, let's just be safe. 26. It'll be good, thank you Lou. I thought you handled it well. Did I? Yes.

I got up at the end. Because he didn't know who you were. You did good. I'll tell you what you did do at the end though, which I thought was interesting for a guy who is, listen, they had a worldwide hit. This song was a hit everywhere. They could play this song in any country at any time and the crowd's gonna go nuts for it. You stood up and gave him like, you were like,

what? Because you wanted to eat, our food was coming. Yeah, I was hungry. We were trying to wrap up with Big Jim. I had a headache. But you had a headache and Bobby stood up and did the yule. He goes, well dude, it was great meeting you, my man. he sent him off. Yeah, which I thought was fucking great No, no, no, no Bobby. Yeah, it was sexy as shit. Thanks, man It was fucking dope what you did out there. I like that

I feel like I pulled it together right at the end because I made a choice you pulled together nothing You said that's enough for the bare naked ladies. I go, for now. For now, of course. I hooked it up, Jim's gonna get them on, we can re-establish things, get our stuff in order, get my ducks in a row, come back in, hey, hey, hey, hey. Scabba dabba dooba doop boop, scabba dooba dooba dooba dooba doop boop. But the funnest of the flavors,

and I will say, if we gave a shit, we should really think about, we should really, really think for sure about learning the lyrics to that whole part at some point. So when it comes in, we can impress him. Well, he was really nice, but the rest of the band was looking over like, fuck them. Fuck them.

They were, right? Am I crazy? They were looking over like, fuck them. But that. They were, right? Am I crazy? They were looking over like, fuck them. But that move at the end, I did, I saw that on a TV show. And I used it. I know the show. Ballers, because that's what you were.

Ballers. God damn it, your instincts are right on that one. Dude, you're a fucking baller. You're the rock. You are the rock today down there. Dwayne. Yeah. Dwayne, the Rock Johnson. I can do the eyebrow. Damn, dude dude that guy was all up in your shit. He knew you from Louie. Yeah

He did not know me at all. That was I mean you got a real Thing Christine take those lyrics down, please we Can't have that can't know not if you I mean if we want to still do the show Yeah, we will be kicked off the radio. You can keep them up for 30 seconds. Huh? I believe you can keep them up for 30 seconds.

With the song on? No, the problem is, if I look at the lyrics, inevitably I'm going to start singing them. That's true. And I can't assume that I'll be done that in 30 seconds. And comedy-wise, karaoke is not funny. Go with your instincts. No, no, no. Do not.

My instincts are not what's valued here. No, your instincts got us in trouble. My instincts apparently got us in trouble. We got in fucking trouble because of his fucking dumb instincts. Now we're gonna yell that. We're getting the bare naked ladies. We're getting the... You know what?

God took away, but he gave us. One door closed, and another door opened. And now we're gonna get the bare naked ladies, or at least one of them on the show. You're not getting the song on TV. You're getting them in the studio. What? How does that sound to you?

But I have to tell you this right now. If he picks up a guitar and starts playing that song, at 29 seconds, I'm gonna punch him in the face. Jay, you can't. At 29 seconds, dude, I'm gonna fucking karate chop his throat shut it down dude shut it the fuck down he's gonna hit five four three what's going on guys yeah chicken eat chicken

what's he doing Bobby? Bobby what's he doing? I'm here, I'm here just picture him staring at you getting into a crouching position. Dude, you got seven more seconds before I fucking end your shit. You better speed through this. You better wrap that faster. Chicken, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, chicken, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick If he fucking tries to go for longer than 30 try to get to born in the USA that part of the song That's that's it's a minute 30 in easy and murder him. Oh Yes, buddy, I got a massive headache, I don't know what the hell happened I'm not trying to fuck you you don't keep saying that

I think the pressure of the pre-show got to me the pressure pressure of the game. You guys don't know about it. Yeah, Bobby brought up a great game. Great game. And you're gonna hear it tomorrow. I think when I perform, it takes a lot out of me. Yeah, you give everything. It took a lot out of me, and Jake, I'm not having to respect for when you do it.

You leave it all out there, as they say. Someone who puts it all out there. Yeah. When we hit the stage, I applaud what you did. And I like that you give yourself a headache. You're in pain for your craft. I gave all my electrolytes to that game. And it was hard because controlling four,

five men, alpha men, is not easy. It's not an easy thing. No, no, it's like being a fucking tiger tamer. I don't know how you do it, dude. It's goddamn amazing. Well, I think it sucked all the life out of me, and then when we went downstairs,

and then I, that, when I met the co-founder of Nickelback. Bare naked ladies. Bare naked ladies. Can't spin. Ed Robertson. Ed Robertson. Yeah, I know. Of course we know, dude, I was joking. I know Robert, dude, I call him Ed.

We had a bit where we were joking around before we knew his name was Ed Robertson. Yeah, dude, you know him. Yeah. Ed Robertson. Sorry. Yeah. Buddy, I know who he is.

God, dude, play along with the bit. Jesus, Jacob. We all know, can you do anything? Ed Robinson. Ed Robinson. Ed Robinson. Robertson. Yes, right, Robertson. Robertson. Like Bobby, like Max. Yeah, buddy. You do it at Robin Robinson at Roberts Roberts Roberts right Robert's son

Robert's like Bobby Max yeah buddy can't wait son all his songs like it 1000 miles to go nope 10 on its hits been a chicken to China he has been they've been done with his aim or saying you sorry let's see if I don't be the same or say you're sorry. Let's see, if I don't even know I can read it in time, get to the Chinese chicken park, Christine. I know you had the lyrics up there. We're allowed to have the lyrics up for more than. Can we have the lyrics up for 30 seconds

and the music up for 30 seconds at the same time? Yes. I'll look at the clock. Well, wait. Yeah, I don't like the way you said that. Tell me with your instincts, Lou. If you could. Use your instincts, close your eyes,

put your hands together. You had no idea that Jacob's instincts were gonna make you so busy. Excuse me. Jacob, put your hands together, close your eyes, and use your instincts. Turn off the lights, he needs to be sensory deprived. You can do both for 30 seconds. Are you sure? Yes. But what about comedy? Is it gonna be funny?

Who is it speaking through you, Vishnu? It's just instinct. I don't know where it comes from. It's probably coming from somewhere. It's radio instincts. It's coming from the antennas on top of the building. The radios. That'd be great if Jacob had a my favorite Martian thing that came out of his head. If he had a little tiny Martian in his stomach.

Aquado? You should get a Quado Go you could take us to the Chinese chicken part there we go Now can we oh Man, I think I'm gonna fuck up Bobby. You're gonna fuck this up by for sure. I can say real quick chicken eating Dated reference. I don them, but. Well, dated references, no, it wasn't dated at the time. No, right, I'm just saying. When it came out.

You at the Chinese chicken part? Yeah, right there. Chickadee-Chinese, chickadee-China, the Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick and your brain keeps ticking and watching X-Files and no lights on with dance lines, lines on. Oh, you're cueing it. I'm done. I just saw what he was doing. I can't do this. You can. I have a headache. Lalalala. Oh, you're queuing it. I'm done.

I just saw what he was doing. I can't do this. You can. I have a headache, dude. I know, but you're such a dick. My brain almost imploded. You're getting so much better at reading. Let me see if.

You need electrolytes? They have it. That's a new thing downstairs. What? Jacob, can you? Do you just have a bowl of electrolytes for you? You can push an electrolytes button. There's a drink.

You can add electrolytes. Jacob, can you pass me some of your instincts to maybe help me with my headache? It's visual, but I'm... Jacob is now holding his fingers together, closing his eyes. He's giving you the powers. And I'm connecting to...

Do you feel it? Are you feeling his instincts? Is it taking your headache away? I'm taking it. Jacob's gonna Is it taking your headache away? I'm taking Jacobs gonna burden himself with your head. Yeah, I'll take the headache for you. Thank you. Good instinct Give the Chinese chicken part up Lou. Here we go 30 seconds We've done 40 minutes of this 30 seconds That We literally have done 40 minutes of this. 30 seconds.

That's the line? Yeah. Can I say something? Have a drumstick in your brain. Stop. Everybody in the room has to try it. Well, yeah. One at a time or at the same time? One at a time.

Okay. All right. Until you lose it. That's a lot of lawsuits. Until you lose it. Until you lose it. Right. Ready? We're gonna be, oh, Lou.

No one's gonna- We're gonna be jammed up, dude. Our asses are gonna be fucking, I mean, with legality, up the ass. We are walking a line here. Go ahead, give it to me. Should I go first? Yes. Chickadee China, the Chinese chicken.

You have a drumstick and your brain starts kicking. Watch your next Files with no lights on, we're down to the Mason. I hope to smoke a mansion this, one like Harrison Ford, I'm getting frantic. Next thing I'm tantric, like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy, like Urusawa, I make mad films, okay I don't make films, but if I did they'd have a samurai, gonna get a set of beth- Oh is that 30 seconds? That's 10 seconds, you did it. Oh I didn't get to the part where I was gonna whiff hard.

Fuck. Well let's start here. Start again. Oh yeah it didn't get to the part where I was gonna whiff hard. Fuck. Well, let's start here. Start again. Oh yeah, I guess you can start it again. Of course you can. Take me back to, Kay, I don't make films. Do we have to wait 30 seconds in between the 30 seconds? No. You can just go 30 seconds? No, it was never brought to me and that my attention.

It was 30 second intervals. In the summertime spring meetin' we had outside. Yeah. Did that come up at all? No? If you can go back to it? Yeah. It didn't come up.

Okay, great. I don't think. Okay. Let's break the rules. That's gotta mean there's no hard line on this. Let's break. Let's be rule breakers. I like it.

Jacob, we got him on our team. He's ours. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm Kira Salih. You may have films. Okay okay I don't make films, but if I didn't have a samurai, gonna get a set of better clubs, gonna find the kind of tiny tubs, nope. Wow.

That's it? That's where I fucking lost it. I'm gonna slam this. Okay. Oh shit. I wanna see you do it. I believe in you. Go back to the top.

Christine's stage mom-ing the whole thing, so I'm looking over and she thought I was telling her to get down She's mouthing all the words at the same time. It was distracting as shit You were you stage mom and Jay fucking horrible. She was like I wasn't looking at him Oh my god. Yeah, I was looking at you cuz you're next to the screen, but it makes me happy There's certain music like lights that woman up. She really does. Her little dimples come out a little. Well, not good music. What?

Just like not great music. Her song, that song yesterday you played, she loved it. Well, it's not a great song. I explained that to you. Okay. I'm not getting into this again. I didn't know I was going to get jammed up the ass for it. I didn't know my ass was going to be so jammed about it. You don't know about publishing, gonna be so jammed about it Hi ready bring it all the way to the top

No, no chicken part no chicken part right there chicken chicken. All right wait Wait wait wait Rather yellow leather. Yeah red red yellow leather red leather yellow leather red leather yellow yellow red red leather yellow leather Red leather yellow leather red leather yellow red leather yellow leather yellow red yellow yellow yellow yellow you're ready red Ready and now one you're ready Right here, right? Chickeny time.

Nope. The China and the Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick and your brain stops sticking. Watch the next files with no lights on. We're gonna download these. I told you you weren't gonna make a password Don's Lamaison. You're a Don Lamaison. Damn right. That's messed me up, man.

I knew it was gonna. All right, Jacob, you're up. I'm not gonna do well. I don't sight, man. I knew it was gonna. All right, Jacob, you're up. I'm not gonna do well. I don't sight read well. I'll try it though. Hey, you're goddamn right. Go into your instincts. Okay.

What you're doing right now is you're relying on talent and will, but stop that. Yeah. Rely on your instincts. I'm usually off book. Can I just say something? I'll do my best. I made you a little nervous

when I got past the drumsticks and the brand stop sticking you like oh shit This guy might have it to x-men Yeah, yeah for a second, but I had a sneaking suspicion If I was making side bets I go Bobby doesn't make it past word Don's Lamaze on can I try it one more time? Yeah, yeah, all right go Chicken Yeah. All right. Go. Chicken. The Chinese Chinese chicken have a drumstick and your brain starts ticking watching x-files with no lights on with anyone that's fucking

That one it's that one. You know me you know me You know me. I know you know me. I know you don't la maison Don's la maison Don's la maison Don's la maison don the maison keep going I wouldn't know if I wasn't reading it don't la maison Don's la maison help to smoke a man in the one no fuck. I'm just gonna have to smoke a man's in this one I smoke a man in this one. I hope The smoke amends on this one. It's my command in this one. I hope

For what I'm getting a trick like I'm done. I'm out. There's guarantees. Yeah, this is a naked lady bare naked ladies, Bobby Yeah, if I had a million dollars, that's what I was singing if I had 10 million I mean, let's be honest. They had a lot of good songs that you know And now they want to be best friends with them our guests knew immediately who it was Well, he's a he's from a Younger dude. He's a barren naked lady. Yeah, he's a barren naked lady He's a little hipper than me ends here with the both of us. Let's just put it that way. Look at you hipper Hipper hipper and I mean disagreeing that you're hipper than me. But probably.

Probably hipper than me. He's a little hipper. I mean, dude, you're hip. He's younger. You're younger. But look at him, dude. Look, he's got silver. Great body.

I like music. He's got a great body. He's got a fantastic body. Thank you. He's got a nice fucking, I like his big nose. It's like a sexy big nose. The guy stays slaying ass

So I he must have at least a thick piece both asses. Yeah, he's slaying. He's slaying all the genres right Yeah, yeah, and his mom's the best. Oh, that's nice. I met his mom anyway catch him on tour. He is good having you We'll see you later This is incredible. I got a bottle of something take it every day. This is nice. No, seriously take off Jay. Listen Get out of here. You're great job. You can see him on tour Jacob take him up black look good But bye take care tell your mom I said, what's up? I met his mom. I mean adorable Lover. Yeah, she's great. Did I what? Jay. Jay. No, no, no.

From Philly, that's a different thing. Oh, like a fist bump. You know, it's from Philly. He knows. I was asking if you plowed his mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I was well aware. I was trying to get out of hand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was right. I do think I have a shot. Bobby, please. I mean, not plow her, but make love. No, no, stop. You could do worse than to have Bobby Kelly be your stepfather. He did bring nice bread from the bakery up the street

because he was coming into my home because that's where our podcast studio is. And he brought us nice bread. It was very kind. You brought bread? Mm-hmm. Well, anytime I walk by a bakery, like a real bakery, he has to go inside.

I do, no, I do. I stop in, I go in, I get some bread. Do you float to it? We say like Pepe Le Pew, when he smells the the ladies you float into the room. Yeah, we got it That was good. I was gonna say that I wanted to let you finish The reason he brought the bread is cuz Paul Verzee did it with him and Paul did not bring anything and I think you brought it No, I didn't know what Paul was up to I was coming and I they had a Brigitte dough bread, which is fucking nuts. You ever have a Bershuto bread?

Yes So it's like, you know, it's like this crispy ham inside of a bread. It's nuts it was a beautiful little bakery right up he lives in Brooklyn and Hipster really hipster part of town. No what no, it's like very Hispanic and nice. It's very hip now that you're there Yes. Yeah I saw a lot more. I saw a lot. Yeah, we got that wink was thank you. There's so many Yes, perfect. I gotta tell you from my from being an older gentleman. Yes my point of view. Yes. It was very hipster Oh, you have a lot of lot of young kids a lot of little weird bars a lot of little weird bars, a lot of little crazy restaurants.

Well, you think that's it. You should go to the real Williamsburg, because I live right on the cusp of Bushwick. You should go to the part by the water. That's where it's like, this is a hat store for $350 for a top hat, and then somehow stays a business. Just from slash. Yeah.

Slash comes white. Now Bobby, I got to talk about this prosciutto bread here I see. What kind of prosciutto bread? Because I don't like these thick chunks. Is that the one on the right? It's not the one on the right. That one, yeah. That's the one I got.

Yeah, I don't love the thick chunks of prosciutto. I didn't get it for you. I got it for his mom. So stop making it about you. You got the prosci it for his mom, so stop making it about you. You got the Bershute for his mom? I got it. Well, look at Ezio. He has some Bershute.

You gave his mom a Bershute? I gave her the Bershute when I got there. I said, you can have this Bershute or that Bershute. Pick. And she said, both. I'll take the bread. I'll take the one with the crumbs. And Bobby goes, so you want this dick?

Oh! Oh! And that mean is mine went down to the studio. Hey. That real sweet. The crumbs mean as mine went down to the studio. Hey. Now real sweet. The crumbs are your beaver, Dandruff. His? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bobby tried to turn it to you by just staring at you, but I was meant you. No, I was just staring at him because I thought you met his mom and I didn't want to face you. That's why I was facing Jay. It was the crumbs, Dick, joke. Dick was with the crumbs.

Buddy, I'm with you. And I was saying the crumbs were your I got it. Dick hair, D hair Dan. I was with you, buddy I just thought you were talking about his mom's pussy crumbs And I was gonna stone-face me now my instincts are telling me to make Buddy I would make dick dick hair dandruff buddy. I don't think huge I would have I would have went on both sides of it. I was just staring at him. That's all. My mom's got a nice beaver Yeah, I know

I don't know if my mom does but I'll tell you when I was young she did Tell you what? She had a thick beef. His mom gives away that beaver for a burjuto bread too, by the way I like that and she's a nice lady. Hey, burjuto bread's not cheap Yeah, but she's gonna buy all her bur burrito bread herself. She's a lady. Yeah Yeah, whenever I saw my mom naked when I was younger. She had a bush for sure, but she was young Yeah, it was just a different time man. Yeah, it was young a different time. I was seeing her bush. She was still in her 40s made the late 20s. I don't think mom should shave I think once your mom you should just let it all go. But she was out there.

She was putting herself out there in the world. Really? Which means these guys were coming home to some fur burger. Heavy beaver. Yeah, without a doubt. I saw my aunt's bush once. Yeah?

That was weird. She wasn't my relative. She was my... she wasn't like a... Oh, that's totally fine. It was my uncle's wife. Dude, my aunt lost her boob to breast cancer and then got a fake boob and showed me and was like, touch it, it feels weird.

And I was like, uh... And it was, oh, it was like a fake... Like under the skin, like she had an implant. Core memory that just got unlocked. That was his first tattoo. It was an implant. She had an implant, so she was like, feel, feel, because I'll tell you what, when people get implants.

Yeah, but she didn't have to make me feel the other one. She didn't, that was the weird part. While her bush was sticking out of her bikini. Yeah, she doesn't have to make me feel them while she was 69-ing me. I could get my own milk at that point. Did you fool around with her? Something about a fake tit.

Wait a minute, stop. Did you fool around with her? No! All right, well, I felt her boob because an adult told me to so I did it. But you do, you're a good boy, you do the right thing. Yeah. And you don't tell or everyone gets in trouble.

No. You wait 30 years until you're on radio. This is the moment. Yes. This today's show has been a real breakthrough. Yeah. I think for you. Something about the removal of people's emotions to their tits when they get a new tit job

Because I mean our friend Michelle Got a boob job and I know our friend Michelle got a boob job She got her 40s. She got a reduction, but she had a done. They should have shaped. Yeah. She had them shaped up She went from like a double D to like a full B And but I mean she couldn't wait to hang these sons of bitches out there in the world and this is just like a double D to like a full B. But I mean, she couldn't wait to hang these sons of bitches out there in the world. And this is just like a mom. Just a party girl.

Well, I think when you get any cosmetic surgery, you want to show it off. That's why so many trans men are like, I'm being shirtless forever. Isn't this what guys do? We're always shirtless, right, guys? We're like, with our fucking titty scars? Yeah, yeah, cool it.

I will say, if I had a surgery, if there was that surgery, when I'm picturing that one where they say they can cut a tendon somewhere way behind your dick and it just makes all this extra dick just flop out. What? It's not real. What is your dick on a governor? I'm certain it's not real, yeah.

I'm certain this is not real. Crazy. But my point just being, if I all of a sudden had a dick that dangled like heavy Down to like mid-thigh like a dangle. I would also I would find reasons to get it Would you get a dangle if it couldn't get up fully? No, no So you want to dangle that got up as big as absolutely? I mean, I just watched I'm way behind but I'm Now made it to season three of White Lotus. Did you watch White Lotus?

No. They showed the father in the show. You watch it? The father in the show, at one point with his family, he reaches back with a robe, and in front of his family, they show his dick, and it is, as soon as I saw it, you're one of those ones where you're like, it's soft,

but you're like, fuck, dude, the guy's got a big, thick fucking dick. But is it real because a baby Billy. That was not real. It's not real and I thought it was 100% real. Mark Wahlberg had a prosthetic dick. Prosthetic, that was prosthetic. They're showing more and more wiener

and less and less boobs. Did you guys see Sinners? No, they show wiener in it? No, but it was, all vampire movies have boobs. Yeah. Yeah. And they don't show boobs. And this woman's having sex and she's fully clothes It's like no vampires take out boobs. Yeah, you're supposed to have tits in a yeah in a horror movie You supposed to see little t. Yes. That's well vampires particularly is always big on the the dirty of it. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, no, I think in the Lost Boys. Do you get Gertz's boobs at one point? I don't know But I know Samma has Salma Hayek had him out in from dust till dawn several girls had him out Yeah, I'm the Salma Hayek famously some Hayek desperado sexual awakening that movie good God Jacob support me on this They've asked I always said the hottest chick in the hot It's like moment in time the prettiest girl I've ever seen I'm a hike some hike in desperate Yes, but take yes to them the show before her walking down the street I think when they get an accident fucking stunning coolest movie those guys with the guitars and the guns in them No, yeah, I was there's had gorgeous olive skin No, you thought Tarantino was good in that yeah, dude. That was the coolest industrial dawn. Yeah, we're going back to the movies

Oh, I thought you meant in Desperado cuz he was in Desperado to Desperado who's in Dustal Don who made this who was saying this the other day the pitch for that is so funny Let the pitch for that. It goes. Hey, I'm gonna be the director The Dave Smith he was like, you know, I'm the director of this movie and but it was it was Robert Rodriguez directed it Didn't Tarantino direct the first half and Rodriguez directed the seventh? That's why they're so cartoonishly different. But whatever it is, they were just like,

he's like, you know what? And we're gonna have to have her come out and do a sexy dance with a snake on somebody. And I'll just do it. I'll just jump in there and take care of that. I don't have to worry about that at all. And she's probably rubber snatching tits all over me or something. She probably put her foot in her mouth and drip'll just do it. I mean, I'm the derailers jump in there and take care of that's going to worry about that at all And then she's probably rubber snatching tits all over your side. I put her foot in her mouth and drip tequila down I'm not gonna ask anybody else to do something. I know it's not sanitary. I'll do it

I'll take God she but she had a thing she had an interview where a snake came out and she Fucking flipped out sure. Do you see that? No one is an interview She's doing an interview movie and some snake comes out and she literally has a fucking panic attack and starts losing it But then I was like I go back to this movie where she has this Sight around her and she's dancing. It's it's fucking wild snakes if she's dancing I don't know dude. It was it was, wow, did you find it, Christine? This is fucking crazy. Yeah, but if a snake was presented to me. Watch this, dude.

Yeah, I understand this, though. Watch this. That snake that she was holding. Look, look, just watch this. Watch, watch how much she flips out, though. No, say listen. Say listen, Bobby. Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Say listen, don't say watch. Somebody do something! It's not gonna come up here. Listen, listen. No! Oh my God! Get your hands off me! Everyone's not gonna come up here. Listen, listen. No! Oh my God! Listen. Everyone's jumping up on chairs.

But you gotta hear her. No! I got you. It's okay. No! It's okay. It's okay. No!

It's okay. I mean, this sounds like it's school shooting footage. Okay, I will say. That's crazy. I will say about this, her reaction to that is, does not seem like she would have ever worked with a snake. So I agree with you on what you're saying. Right, but she's in an interview with all these other actresses There's a thousands of people around out on a dock on a lake. It's not gonna be like a

Connake and not like Harvey Weinstein off-camera So she's not a squeeze she lost her mind on this and then on this movie she's Fucking maybe it's a prosthetic. I wonder if it's it's a fake snakes probably fake talking about fake cocks Maybe it's a fake snake, but it does not look fake. It says it's real Hmm, that's a weird and she had to under is that she agreed to the role and underwent hypnotherapy to overcome her fear Okay. Oh, there you go. So she apparently needs to be. But the movie Grown Ups. But that happened after because that was an interview for the movie Grown Ups. Dustal Dawn was way before that way before that.

So she had to get hypnotized to get over a thing for a little bit and show her tits. She had to do a lot. She doesn't show her tits in this. And in this, do you think when she was getting hypnotized about the snake, they're like, okay, you will see the snake and not get scared. And then Quentin Tarantino was like, yeah, and you'll put your foot in my mouth too.

Hey, also, hey, while you're in there. Hey, while you're in there. She doesn't show her tits in this movie? No. Yeah, she does. No, she doesn't. Why don't we watch for a minute? We're not allowed. Well, 29 seconds.

No, no, no, that's not the issue. Oh, when I'm supposed to watch TV, yeah. Anyway, this is a movie Dust Till Dawn. I thought she showed her boobs in it. No, she doesn't show her boobs in it. Anyways, I gotta take it home. Only Desperado. Slowly re-watch.

Only Desperado. That's weird that you can be, do you believe in being hypnotized that shit works? No, or I would not be smoking right now. Dude, the very first construction job I ever worked, our foreman's name was Mark the shark and he told us this joke He goes, how's it hypnotist get his dick sucked. I'm like hell any Pretends to take his cock out and goes you're getting very sleepy

Again that's the joke of a man with a heavy swing. Oh, yeah, he had a thick one for sure Yeah, yeah, yeah tits are out by the way, dude He had a heavy swing. He had a thick one for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tits are out by the way, dude. Desperado. Desperado, tits are out. Oh!

Incredible. Wow. What I said, not 30 seconds ago. Yeah. Well sometimes you're wrong and sometimes you're right. Whoa, what is this? That's not real. It's all on For Insights, so we get ads.

Oh wow. Now he's got a foot fetish and he has her. Does he? Are you guys feet-crawlers? Yeah. Are you guys feet-crawlers? No? Never. I'm not wigged out by feet, necessarily. And if a girl was putting her foot to my mouth,

and I was scoping it out that it wasn't gross or anything, and I was very attracted to the girl, I'll suck a toe if that's what she's into, but I couldn't give two shits. I do not like feet, but you know that girl at Skanks that you called out and we left together? Sure, sure. We were being intimate and I like blacked out

and threw her foot in my mouth and was like sucking her toe and then I pulled it out and I go, what just happened? Like I was so entranced by everything that I was like, I'll fucking eat a foot, I don't care. She's from somewhere weird too, it was like war torn. She has war torn feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She has hawker feet.

Yeah, she's gonna call the duty feet. I'm gonna hawk, hawk, hawk, hawk, hawk, hawk, hawk. I hate feet, I would never put them in my mouth. Yeah, you're an easy gag reflex, but you'd suck a woman's asshole, you'd let her suck your asshole. I'd lick an asshole. I'd lick an asshole.

I guess no one sucks an asshole. You don't have to pull anything out of it. Yeah. Oh lord, I suck too far. Mwah! See, I don't suck too much. See, if something chip your tooth. Pfft.

Oh man, I don't like feet at all. I hate them. Yeah? Ugh, I hate them. I don't like a foot. I don't like the way they... Because I've done it and it tastes like a foot. It's like musky. It's like fucking gross. Whose feet are you sucking? I mean, it's way they, because I've done it and it tastes like a foot. It's like musty, it's like fucking gross.

Who's feet are you sucking? I mean, it's a foot, dude. Me and Christine. I mean, no, the foot tastes like a foot. Yeah, but if they're a clean person, they're not gonna have a stinky foot. Their foot's not gonna smell like a hockey bag. I'm not gonna take a shower with a fucking girl

and then I'm with the girl all night and then we're fucking around and she sticks her foot in my mouth. Fucking AA meeting and then we're fucking around she sticks her foot my mom. Yeah Fucking a meeting and then a foot in my mouth gross No, yeah, I mean feet fucking stink There's no way around if yeah But could you imagine like getting hit in the head while you're like trying shoes on at a foot locker as a kid? And then you're like a foot fetish guy

Imagine being a foot guy, that must suck. Foot, feet, while meaning nothing to me at all, like sexually, if a girl leaves her socks on, I treat that with the same respect that I expect to be treated while I have my tank top on in a sexual situation. I'm a piece of shit, though. I've done, I've eaten a girl's armpit. It's fucking disgusting.

Oh, that's the best. You did that in here. You did it in here, Bobby. I want to wear your armpit like a sleep apnea mask. I'm into it. The deodorant doesn't like. No, no, no. I tell them no deodorant.

Do me a favor. Don't wear deodorant today. You know who likes that, too? No one likes a smelly chick. There's a certain musk a chick. Dude the hardest I've come in the past year was just eating a girl's armpit while I jerked off. It was the best. So I was like super into her. Yeah I had a girl eat my armpit and jerk me off.

Eww! With your hair? Yeah. I jerked off a girl while she ate a different person's armpit. So we all have a similar story with slight differences. Look at this, we're like Eskimo brothers with a head injury. But no, a girl taught me that. She's like, I want you to do this weird thing,

but it's gonna make me cum. And I ate her armpit out. She's like, lick my armpit like a pussy and then finger fuck me. And she, I mean, she just squirted juice out of her pussy. I was like, all right, I'll fucking do that whenever you want. Whoa. Yeah. But I did pick up a soda and open it

I didn't like I didn't like it, but it wasn't as bad as it but I've had I Mean Christine hooked up with a girl who wanted to leave her suck gorgeous girl She wouldn't leave her socks and all the time and then she eventually took her socks off one time and like her feet were fine What kind of side is funny when people just like like oh, I thought it was like knee highs or like hot So no, they weren't hot so they were just like ones loose Yeah, there's like miss just love just low socks But also so I've never even thought that if a girl leaves her socks, and I go she I never want to same thing with me I'll take my tank top off if you are requesting it if we're fucking around you're like no no no I

Can't move forward if you're leaving your tank top on I'll take it off but you've now put me into a I will be performing less comfortably unless you're not gonna get 100% me because I'm uncomfortable with that so I leave I could treat a girl socks to say if they're leaving their socks on it's because it means something to them they don't like their feet and they're gonna be overthinking that if they're out do you know the song and dance I have to do to distract someone when they take off all my rings and my necklaces? Now let it down And I got a marble red and a fucking a ring that I have on my neck smacking someone in the nose

I'm like, oh sorry, you You gotta put your fingers in the pussy just to get them loosened up. You get lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mwah, mwah. Mwah, mwah. Thank you. Mwah, mwah.

Yeah, and if I have too much salt, I can't get my rings off, so I have to sit in the hotel room with my arms above my head. Just give me a minute. Give me a minute. Hey, I have to let the blood go out of my hands. You gotta let the blood flow.

Come on. That's hilarious. How many rings? Six rings. That's a flow come on. That's a layer. How many rings six rings? It's a lot of rings that take off how many necks this rings one necklace with two pendants. Hmm. How many cock rings? Three do you really know have you ever left jewelry at a chicks house? No, I'm very particular about my jewelry but one time I had a threesome in DC and I left the jewelry on the very particular about my jewelry, but one time I had a threesome in DC and I left the jewelry on the On their desk and I had already said goodbye

And I left my glasses and jewelry on the desk because I was so nervous afterwards And I army crawled to get it and I tried to do it like silently and as I reached up they go Ian Are you still here? It was like oh, I didn't want to bother you guys Real question is a butt plug considered jewelry? If it has a diamond sparkle in it. Well, it could be costume jewelry with a fake thing. It doesn't have to be a real diamond, but it has to be like a jewel. They do have jewels.

And I believe at this point, people will wear them out and about when they go out. It's technically jewelry. If you have something carved, put a nice saying into it. Maybe like, you know, forever yours around the edge. Oh, you can get it, whatever you want engraved. You can get the engraving and say whatever you want.

Happy 50th mom on pop-pop. But yeah, there you go. Rest in peace cousin. It's a silicone jewel. It's got a jewel, but I think it's not considered jewelry. I would not consider that jewelry. That's like, I wouldn't consider a hot dog a sandwich. It's got a jewel, but I think it's not considered jewelry. I would not consider that jewelry. That's like I wouldn't consider a hot dog a sandwich. Really?

But why would this, could I make an argument for it being jewelry? What's a hot dog then? It's a hot dog. Yeah, but is it a hamburger sandwich? No, it's a hamburger. Hamburger. Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with it.

But I'm going to argue if a lot of people wear jewelry. Jewelry's on the outside, it's not on the inside. Jewelry is not on the inside. But the jewelry part is on the outside. And also, I wanna consider something. Much like you're doing now, a lot of people who wear necklaces and chains under a shirt, they just have it on there because it means something

to them and it's still jewelry. And he has an earring in his nose, so some of it's in his body and some of it's out. Changing my mind. This is in me. My nose ring is fucking totally in me right now. I think it's considered jewelry. A butt plug at this point.

A clit ring is jewelry. No one sees it. It's jewelry. But those things are attached to you in a certain way. Oh, that's attached to you. But that's not attached, it's just in you. At any point it can flop out of you Well if you're the big fart or I guess if you shit through it if you're running a race

Maybe also if you're running a race or a strong cough What are you being chased by people trying to rob you? Maybe that's possible. I do worry about having a butt plug in If I coughed well, you know, I cough a lot. I smoke pot, cigarettes, and I wear that. Do you wear butt plugs? No, but I'm worried that if I did, I would definitely, you'd see the shot, you'd see it would come out in my pants, it'd be like a little thing sticking out. It would look like I took a wooden shit or something.

But it's just that I farted out my butt plug because I coughed really hard. But no, you put a butt plug in. Doesn't it loosen up your asshole elasticity? No, the asshole. The asshole clenches back up. the asshole clenches back up. Yes Oh clenches back up. That's what's holding it in but but when you hold the blood when you keep putting it in you keep putting it over time

So elastic I dated a porn star and she told me she only has anal sex on camera and she saves the pussy for love Because the butthole expands and contracts and it does not get blown out and the pussy does Something happens to the ass that prolapsing is Well that can that's getting blessed pretty nice for a lot But but this I will say Bobby look the whole it doesn't matter you take a shit every day if you're regular But the shank is way up your ass. You know, the hole, it doesn't matter. You take a shit every day, if you're regular. But the shit is way up your ass. You know the shit is not near your asshole. It's up in your intestines,

and then when you have to go poo, it slides down. Right. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's right near the end. Yeah, but, no, no, no, but the hole is going over the shaft. You see the shaft? The bulb is where poop is.

Your asshole's gripping down on the little baby part in the middle, you know, we should do we should get talk about something else We wear for the show and see who can make the whole show Okay, I fucking nickel-chaser just knock Christine just knock Christine and there's no way black Lou's gonna do this everybody else in the show has to wear a butt plug for the whole show Jacob This is for who's gonna do this. Everybody else in the show has to wear a butt plug for the whole show. Jacob? This is for sex. What do you mean, they're walking around with a butt plug? We'll get you a camouflage one.

For what? To be sexy under that thing. Yeah, because it's hot to tell someone to wear a butt plug and you two are the only ones that know it. It's like some sexual thing that no one else knows. I've asked in shows before, sometimes girls are just wearing butt... Yeah, exactly, it's a couple's, yeah. Exactly're right, exactly, it's like a couple and the guy's

like she's doing it because it's gonna be hot later. It's not like a just in case buttplugs. No, no, no, no. But maybe tonight. No, I think you go out with a buttplug with a plan for sure. Yeah, yeah. Now Christine, what are these terrifying buttplugs

you're showing us because? Oh, they're camo. Is this bulk? That was for Jacob. It's camos. But they go to a board meeting with a butt plug in? Sure. And that's a wild pull to ask.

But yes. Real life. Yeah, you could have someone wear it to work. Jacob, so yes. The answer is you can wear your butt plug to your board meeting. Yeah. You could wear a butt plug in the house. You could wear a butt plug to catch a mouse.

Next time we have a Zoom, one of us should have a butt plug in, and we have to guess by the face who has a butt plug. You'll know. I think you'll know. How do you know? Because whoever laughs like this... Huh! Yeah, yeah. They go, huh! You know, their eyes open up a lot.

Uh! That'd be a great, the next crowd work special you do. Everybody has to wear butt plugs. I like that. And they have to, whoever, people get kicked out as they pop out of their assholes. All butt plug crowd, yeah, this is good. If I make you laugh so hard,

your butt plug is out, you gotta go. You gotta go. Wow. Yeah, sup, sorry. I'm buying tickets to your special. You left already, you gotta go. Now I'm gonna tell you, I might go, if we get to pick our own butt plugs

for this challenge we're gonna do, which I'm assuming is gonna happen next week, butt plug challenge, I'm gonna get one that's got something coming off it. I would like a raccoon tail or something coming out of my pants. Now, how are you gonna know everyone's wearing them and you're not just doing this to make Bobby

the only one wearing them? You know what's funny? I'm so full of like integrity and game. I'm not a cheater in games at all. He's not that I I didn't even think that somebody else would not put it in. Even when the Hiney is involved? I'd be bummed to find out that it wasn't in there I've said that with me and Lewis always when me and Lewis do gun in the butt challenge we go you got to get it in there man you got to get it in there

that's kind of cool what you have a tail. in your hip is that hip Yeah, man, you know my friends where the 24 is Daddy oh, it's like a new metal No, I think I'd like can I is there a long one with like a devil point on the bottom I'm not wearing cat ears It's got nothing to do with the butt plug. But Jay, they match. It's pretty cute. Yeah, it has everything to do with it.

It matches your tail. Why don't you wear that one? All right, whatever. We're all getting to pick our own butt plugs. You're gonna get one with like a chain wallet? I'd like maybe that has like a devil tail on the end. Yeah. See if there's a devil tail butt plug, Christine, please.

This'll be fine. Jacob, what would you like? A fish and rat. There's like a Titanic butt plug, something to do with the Titanic. I wouldn't put anything up your butt that says Titanic. I would go for like dinghies. No, but he's saying maybe you could get a piece.

Titanic theme, I don't know what that is. How's this? We get a piece of the Titanic, and they made it into a butt plug. So it's actually from the Titanic Titanic and it's in your ass. What do you think about that? Jay, that's insane. I wouldn't want that.

You like that? Here's my problem with this. That is so cool. It's awesome. Look at that. Here's my problem. Bobby, look at that. I'm having a conversation with him right now.

And I'm trying to ignore it because it's disgusting. Why is that disgusting? He wants Titanic in his butt. But now I'm picturing Jacob's butt. Oh, it's nice, I bet. Here's the problem with this Devil on Christine. I feel like there's not enough give on that tail, and so I can't wear it in pants.

I need it to butt plug, but have an immediate give. No, you need a hole in your shorts. Maybe. I maybe can put a hole in my shorts. But then I am worried. And while it's in you, you have to talk like little Nikki My brother Cassius put this bump Heart of the ocean. Oh my god

Oh, yeah, okay. All right, so that's good. So look at this one and you get you get earrings with it, too No, it's so Jacob. Do you Louis. Man, look at this one. And you get earrings with it too. No, so Jacob, do you, now if we're saying the outfits go together, I'll be wearing the raccoon and the, or the devil horns and the tail. Are you gonna wear the My Heart Will Go On nipple clamps? And I'm gonna tell you what,

the only thing saving you here, Jacob, is that you can't actively at the same time wear a butt plug and butt beads because it comes with both. If you you try hard enough is that the butt beads Is the butt beads the middle one yeah, yeah, so you put So you put all that in your ass and then well, I mean if you don't have to go all right This is where that 86 year old woman was hiding the diamond the whole time She never threw it overboard

Beat is circular. This is a heart shape. This is like Horizontal and well, but it does great up each time. Yeah, do you know I'm saying? Like each time it's like a gradual notch every time you grow and you're You're you're putting the mark on your now. Have you ever done butt beads? Not in me. I'm someone else the beautiful relief Let me tell you do not yank them out like you're starting a lawnmower. That is not the way to go. Yeah Yeah, yeah. Oh god. Fuck God, that's you. Fuck is that that is that's black. Now here's the weekend.

We we do this game for a year and whoever can get to that wins. So we're going to wear butt plugs and show for an entire year. We keep getting bigger and bigger. And then we go to that red one that you just pulled up. OK. And at the end of the year, whoever can sit on that. Yeah, it's like year of the rat. And then after that, it's year the butt plug. Yeah, Jacob, great news.

That's what they call Titanic That's a Titanic butt plug. Well, it is about the size of an iceberg. Did we find Christine one for me? It's devil tail. It's a little more loose These are all devil tails Yeah, they all seem like they I don't know what you mean like shorter And no I can't tell it looks like from the butt I'm gonna have like Ben like they're very stiff right away for about like four or five inches that red one What about the red one that one particularly? Yeah that one?

No, that might be the one Do you think it's always curved like that that might be the case I like that one because it knows where to stop You know like those ones the other ones can slip further in I think where's the one that's cuz that's knotted up there on the bottom That's like a yeah that guy right there. That might be the one that's a little flimsy. That's gonna flop around I need to flop the J when you're sitting. It's not gonna have give you know you're not gonna be able to tuck it underneath your yourself That's my concern. All right, how much is it? $33 perfect It's the classiest

Without a doubt well, what do we do for you? There's gotta be a pearl jam butt plug Christine. Look it up. Definitely that exists Pearl jam it up your ass. Yeah Pearl jam it up your ass till you're in full nirvana Even flow You could definitely get it in while you're listening some better. That's the one you're your most relaxed Just open the word jam I did okay What about grunge rock anal beads it's flannel yes, I'm not look at 90s theme butt plug ooh Let's see. It's mostly just bands. Mm-hmm

It was invented in the 90s, what are you crazy you have so much to make up for now What am I thinking for black? oh okay, hang on a second. One of us is getting the cheek clacker butt plugs. You see the butt plug that has the thing you can move and they'll go clink clink clink clink clink clink on either side? Oh that's amazing. Order those no matter where this bit goes.

I call that one. Cheek clacker? Yes. How great is that Bobby? They're only $2.99. Huh? They're only $2.99. Huh? They're only $2.99.

No way. Give me a favor, then do me a favor. Even with the tariffs? Christine, I mean this. Oh, oh, it's a sticker. Let me just sit back and get one. He's got the roper face on right now. Look if they exist a click clacker button.

Before we got to go, you got a special out right? Yeah Well, I'll have to free and we plug your butt plugs for a half hour and I have a whole show's been plugged Where where where we're going to be a comedy at the Carlson in Rochester this weekend the 8th through the 10th That is Thursday through Saturday my correct yes And then the punchline in Philadelphia May 16th and 17th going home to Philly Philly Show up for that yeah both both fucking show the fuck up where you gonna go get a cheesesteak while you're out there Oh, man, Steve's Prince of Stakes Steve's Prince. Yeah, try that yeah, I've gone back to Oregon That's my jam now off the Boulevard you up there for Friday Saturday night. I love that guy up

There's a good guy up in Rochester. Oh, yeah, Mark. Yeah, Mark I got mark is that North Charleston Atlanta Ottawa Charlotte all on deck plus many more for tickets in all of his tour dates Go to Ian finance f ID a nce Ian finance comm or at I animal 6-9 6-9 on all socials. I'll check out big J this weekend. He's gonna be at a very special secret place I can't tell you but it might be Mic drop comedy in San Diego might not be But he's definitely gonna be at the Liberty Funnybone in Cincinnati the 16th and the 17th

It's the next week definitely gonna be at Governor's in Levittown, New York The 6th and the 7th and then San Diego and Charlotte definitely in Tacoma and for tickets and all this stuff go to BigJComedy.com or PunchUp.live slash Big J Okerson and then go check out his new special a Plateau he said which I don't I mean it's over a million. No really I thought the second part the second one Big J go to YouTube.com slash Big J Ok and right now and get the other one over a million They them is available for free right now go and check it out

Are you out of your mind playing this music so long you psycho? He's a fucking lunatic do you want me to be so fucking that's why I have to put a butt plug in so I'm gonna be So jammed up the ass with stuff because you guys my own goddamn crew. Oh Bobby Kelly. Oh, also make sure you check out Bennington is gonna be interviewing me at the stand next Thursday 7 p.m.. You can get tickets at the stand NYC Robert Kelly's gonna be at Mike drop comedy San Diego this weekend with you the night I said maybe and parks casino and Ben Salem PA May 22nd after that He's gonna be the dojo of comedy in Morris Plains, New Jersey Portland, Maine

PA May 22nd after that he's gonna be the dojo of comedy in Morris Plains, New Jersey Portland, Maine Rochester all on deck for tickets and all tour dates go to punch up that live slash Robert You know that I lived in Ben Salem, Pennsylvania for a little while Yeah, it's fucking weird a plan your parents and your mom moved there when you went to bad kids camp No, I went there and then I went to bad kids. I did laser tagging Ben Salem. Nice. I know all this stuff We should go put butt plugs in our ass at Ben Salem. That's the place to do it. It is. Butt plug capital of the world.

Bend over Salem. That's what bend over Salem means. I'm going to go ahead and put a button on my head. I'm going to go ahead and put a button on my head.