The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jay Writes His Will

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Jay writes his last will and testament on the air. Christine fights for a percentage and a man named Gil gets a lot of Jay's stuff. Everyone on the show has a "guy" or inspirational hero. Christine's guys seems to be a bigger knob than the rest. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Yo shout out to the late great Earl DMX Simmons, right? Earl Simmons I think it's Earl Simmons Earl DMX soon It's a shame DMX went Came out it was so cool But then like right a little bit after DMX's time is when like under more underground stuff was getting popular and

His stuff seemed like heavy produced Like radio for those played on the radio so much so it loses that kind of like edge Bobby I've amped so good. I was talking about the history of DMX I'm never late. You're never late We Like a bat out of hell dude. Shot out of a cannon. I was talking about the history of DMX to kill some time. Oh DMX, yes.

Yeah, he's playing right now. I said he became a little like to the, I think his fall off had to do with people starting to think it was corny. Because it was so radio hits. Even though they're phenomenal songs you know I mean like it's people who lose interest quickly wasn't his fall off that movie he did no you thought that was a hit which one with Jet Li terrible terrible movie no but that doesn't matter ludicrous is in a thousand terrible movies and yeah but doesn't matter if you're in a bad movie now if you're like that kind of literally

method man has been in so many shitty movies. I've watched many of them. He's the main character of one called a I mean Snoop Dogg's been in terrible movies bones, but there was one I watched mr. Something where he's a He's a lowly mortician method man Like he still has like method man face and like the beard know what I mean? It's so him, obviously, but he's playing, like, a meek, mild-mannered mortician. But I think when I saw DMX in that movie, I was like, aw, shit, because I always thought DMX was just a criminal. Like, just that guy.

It was just when they get so big. Yeah. It's hard to remember that this was a person who was, like, probably dangerous and living in a dangerous situation not long ago. Because by the time you see them, everything's like the shiniest leather jacket, his two pitbulls on a yacht. Do you know what I mean?

So you're forgetting the songs are about it, but you're like, well, DMX is a famous celebrity person. And it got too much to there. Right. Did you see that? You know what was weird? I sent the clip of Tupac. Yeah? celebrity person, and it got too much to there. Did you see that, you know what was weird? I sent the clip of Tupac. Yeah?

As a young boy. I mean, he was like in the video. It's like if you, if I didn't know that was Tupac, I'd be like, oh, that's a gay dancer. With his like Gumby haircut? He had a Gumby haircut, but his hand gestures and the way he talked was so... Yeah, well, he was, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is his famous interview. Is this, I've never seen it. I was like blown away like, I was like, dude, this is not the Tupac I know. No. This is a... I mean, it was. I mean, Tupac was a character. Tupac was a, the art school kid.

I mean, listen... Not that his mom was, his mom seems like she was a pretty intense chick and with the black Panthers and stuff, but I don't think he like Like everything he did violent in his life Happened after fame when he had to like keep up some sort of I keep looking over to black low To keep up like kind of his like level of like like fame like that He was like notorious like he will get involved in that kind of shit but it's a black rapist he was a okay he was a

terrible he was what he was was a black background dancer he's a background dancer so he was a gay dancer yes I mean and then he just became you could watch him background dancing for digital underground if you find a video of that. Can you play this? Play this a little bit I just want to to hear. This is him at what age? Probably like 19. Yeah, 19 or something. I'm Shacor and I attend Tamapai High School. Oh, he's 17. And I'm 17 years old. How do you think you're most like your mom?

I'm most like my mom because I'm arrogant totally arrogant I agree I have to say which also is a very gay thing to be I think I'm beautiful and the best dancer at st. Bernadette's thank you Lou because I wanted to come and do this my job is what easy I was a roller skates waitress at Sonic. I felt like since I'm an actor, they should understand. They should have let me do it, but they didn't. And then I had a cold. So they were making me work in the freezer. I had the sniffles.

The way he touches his chest gently with his hand. His hand gestures are very. He's raised by a woman. OK. Yeah. I was raised by a woman. So was Yeah. I was raised by a woman. So was I. Look at me. It's true.

You know what? You have fingernail polish. Yeah, look at these. Woo. Yeah, Tupac, I never overthought the possibility of him being gay, but it wouldn't be a... That would be a far from a mind blow to me. I mean, they're all gay. P. Diddy was a stranger one to me.

It's all these rich private school kids So yes, the thing wait, I think he was though to wasn't shook night also a fucking like well-to-do Like kid, I think he chose like the stuff. I think he played like football and I think he had maybe good parents These guys are all just Larry the cable guy. Well, she was I was pretty fucking shit I was pretty fucking violent. Thank you, Jacob. So tonight night was pretty violent. Even though I'm not talking to you, thank you. Bobby, you're upset for the wrong reason. I'm not upset. You shouldn't be here, right? I'm not upset. I'm not upset. Yes, you are. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed in you. I'm, what? You can't disappoint me. You can't disappoint a disappointment. How could Bobby

disappoint you? How's it possible? Yesterday.hmm he just disappointed me I held my ground but they didn't they're there being jokey comedians no yeah they we were getting attacked for the the men we look up to in our lives and I stood up for Donnie dust and I took the hits like a man and you coward I back down and then changed the narrative I stood up for Kirby. I didn't Jacob wait Before you say anything else How's your temperature at the moment? Getting heated but not from the room temp, but you're doing okay. Yeah, it's not gonna weigh in the next few minutes that you're here with

Debating Bobby I can't I can't promise you anything But you're doing okay. Yeah. It's not gonna weigh in the next few minutes that you're here with debating Bobby. I can't... I can't promise you anything. But temperature has nothing to do with it. No. Crisis averted. Bobby, your gripe? My gripe is yesterday when you were attacking him about Kirby. Everybody. Except for me. Yeah.

He backed down. Yeah. I don't believe I did. I believe you did. I believe that he was kind of... You had to go finish it. Well, you let a woman that walked in pretty much look like a bag lady. She came with a lot of stuff.

She came in with just bags of shit. A gigantic bag. Bobby's making fun of that. However, if she did a bag lady character, he would have shit himself with laughter. That's what I told him. Jesus, Louisa's. You know, Sidney, make fun of me.

You were giggling like a girl yesterday and the whole world heard it. Oh, do the other one. I didn't ask. Oh, fluttering. I didn't ask you. Oh, fluttering. I didn't ask you to do any of them. Jacob's turning me back on you. That's not what this game is.

Bobby, you have a gripe. Oh, is it? No, no. Bobby, Jay, do a voice. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. It's a pretty good impression.

Tough guy now. Yesterday, yesterday, a chick in a pink dress really put him in his place. She really did. Oh, she. Jay got her going, and what am I gonna do? I don't know. Let the two comedians do what I did.

Do what I did. Make their funny faces. Stand up for your man, Jacob. I did. No, you didn't. You backed down. No, I got from that that you were like, no, I just like the stuff he does,

like I don't like him. No, I do like him no, I just like the stuff he does. I don't like him No, I do like him. I don't want to dress like he does. I wanted I learned I said on the air His whole thing is dress your best your best not his best And I said that but you made your you yucked it up with you with Rachel You yucked it up with Rachel. I like to yuck it up. Exactly. I sometimes like to yuck. He yucked it up.

He yucked it up on Donnie Dust. I got a lot of shit for obsidian knives and I took it and I understand it, but I did not back down. You called him gay. I didn't call him gay. I think you did at the end. No, you can't say you called him gay and I think you did. I believe you did.

I don't recall doing it. I believe... The whole thing about it's gay get to get gifts something like that it's not going to get kids they were asking if it was getting he said him yet i never saw me with all of them bobby wants to meet this guy think i'm not what i will meet him and bring him in here and be proud of donnie dust coming in here i wouldn't

one curvy to come in here because he'd be attacked and i i i care about how to mark you know we're attackers? Yes What first of all, I think I would attack him not you. Yeah, because I can't believe You and I would have to defend him but I Christine and her boyfriend would attack him he's a wiener Total wiener I mean, I also I don't think black Lou gets enough shit because the guy he sent is also a wiener Who is who's black lose wiener and the Elliott official and the Ellie and let me tell you something He sent the mildest video He didn't send the video one when he yelled at one of the guys that paid to hear him

Called him a pussy But you think your kid wants to see this this pussy of a father in front of him? You shake hands with everyone when you come in the door. Show him that video, he's such a dildo. And they paid for it, and they paid for it. I did not enjoy, I did not enjoy. You know, Black Lou's.

You're sticking up for your guy, and I appreciate that. Absolutely, hell yeah. I'll tell you, Black Lou's gotta remind me of. Can you text Josh Christina real quick and ask him? Who's the Instagram follow of the guy who scream cries? All the time he should be sure to you. It's really funny, but it's what it feels like All this um, but black Lou. I don't know. I think I think we your guy was terrible as much as anybody else's It's a guy who just yells and tells you

It's terrible. No to you. It's terrible to Christine. It's I guess Rachel doesn't like either but To black Lou, that's his man. You know what does the friends? Do you know what does the friends is when you see someone paying high respect to these people? Then you're like do I not know the person do you understand that if you buy into this bullshit I'm talking to I love you and I respect you and you have fingernail polish on thank you okay it could be okay okay so here's this I'm a little monster yeah Yeah, I don't, I don't. What dude? I just watched Gaga on Max.

I'm a little monster. I don't have a problem with all your accoutrements that you, you made this up on tour. You became a character on tour to have an identity. No, not the one thing is the glove. The gloves definitely picked up on tour. Oh, nose rings and nose rings, the gloves, the thing is the glove the gloves definitely picked up or oh Rings and nose rings the gloves the thing the whole always had tattoos those teenagers Yeah tattoos, but you know there's a lot of things you do that I'm scar from the back pocket. I'll be honest with you I'm not enjoying the wallet chain much anymore myself

Just when I look at the look sometimes I clip it on and I go I'm not like anyone else isn't enjoying the wall chain the rest of the world the wallet I don't wallet that should be attached to it that's just a low it'll be my back pocket which is paid for your butt cheek nerves I'm gonna tell you to get a wallet from gentlemen's Gazette no I have a wallet she bought me a nice wall. You see Bobby when other thing is I have I have to to not pay attention to what these two consider cool because they disregard there's such a narrow lane of People they find cool cuz James Grange is the opposite of Kirby. He's a dildo Kirby's a dildo Everyone's a dildo to them unless they're rock and roll any extremists, dude You have to be rock and roll for them to not think you're a dildo

That's not true. You'd be dope hip-hop So the wind the lane is you know jazz You could be a country folk listen this guy over here DJ Lou his life's work is another man And and and um and he sticks to it. He doesn't care And and and um and he sticks to it he doesn't care He never backed down from you you had Rachel Feinstein come in here yesterday With a bag of shit came in here and bitched you out and it and I was like stick up for yourself And you're like no, you know, no, it's just I he doesn't I don't want to dress like him I don't want to I just like his Rachel said there's there's better people for even this kind of thing that you can

Show them and I'm sure you were in seconds on mute of Kirby I didn't show right I did I I defy you to have better polish shoes than Kirby smell you never will No, I never will I don't I out. I don't look like a cancer patient because if I had those shoes, Christine, if I had those shoes, I'd wear them once every four years. They're nice shoes. I'm not arguing. I'm just saying I would wear them once. There's only one thing every five years that I would need to wear those for. Right. But that's not what you're you're living does not involve you wearing a suit. You don't have to wear a suit because I'm not a douchebag like this guy

custom suit ill-fitting Why is that Jacob? He's sitting down and Suit's not built for a set. He looks better. I think that's one of his older suits. It might not even be a bespoke one He's got a Goyard trunk behind him. I do like that does his husband have the same ring He's got a Goyard trunk behind him. I do like that does his husband have the same ring Have the same wedding ring. He's married to a woman. Is he really? Yes, you check the genitals on that She's a she he is married to two kids and Jacob what this guy does because he lives like this As soon as this camera goes off He has his wife come put like a firecracker up his asshole

And then he she has to beat the shit out of him or he can't come this guy's into some wacky dark shit no one lives like this for one of our Dallas listeners look at this crazy ass family look at this crazy fucking family yeah okay look at that 2,000 yard stare that guys got on he's like he can't believe man he is not emotionally attached to this family at all Arms hands in his pockets not around his wife his beautiful wife It's a family photo. It's a it's a nice photo. Yeah, why be a go back to the book to your family? Please go back to the picture Christine that picture tells a lot a lot of things the wife Once the first of all the two older kids are aware of what's going on with the father So she's pulling them away from him the other littlest one doesn't know yet. I

Mean that's crazy. What's happening that family picture is haunting and there's too many pumpkins if you ask me Way too many way too big. I mean, it's just too many fucking obnoxious. It's a trash day nightmare wife I want to ask you a question Jay out of Out of all the guys, Lou's guy, Jacob's guy, my guy, which guy is the one that you, if you had to pick one, which would you? To watch? To watch. Or to actually, you'd have to pick to be like,

all right, I'd take this one. Donnie Dust shows you how to like, do interesting like craft stuff. I don't know if it's crafts, but yes, it's bushcraft. It's bushcraft. Bushcraft stuff? Well, you roll your eyes and I take offense to that, but it's- Makes a bow and arrow out of a stick and some intestines that he has to chew on, right?

Yes or no, is that the thing that happens? Yes. Then yes, I would watch that because that's more interesting than watching this fucking closeted Mo shine his shoes or Lou have some fucking white asshole yelling at me to get my life together He's instilling confidence. Pick yourself up young man Jacob I wish you were downstairs with us today. We saw a short king in the lobby downstairs. There's no such thing.

Well, not for this guy. I mean, terribly balding on top, but still trying to keep the rest around it. Shorter than you both. And just this little tiny tucked-in shirt, and you could see all the women he worked with, just not even thinking about Hoping the god this isn't the day he goes you want to go get some drinks before you head home fuck

They all have something ready to say for everything, but they better hope they've talked in the mixture's different excuses breaks your heart every time I just saw him today for the first time But I'll never miss him again. Yeah, he may have gone under my radar because I'm always looking straight ahead and It's like I said No, man under five nine is a real man. No, don't say that Nine is a real human being you're saying to women exclusively Most no, I'm saying that five. I would say five five eight to women exclusively. No, I'm saying that as a...

I would say five eight. Five eight and a quarter. No. I'm sorry. Bobby, again, you're one of us. I am not one of you. I am 100%. You're one of us, but you don't act... You got two short kings who crushed ass in their days.

And you need more Andy Elliott in your life if you think of yourself as a Jacob. I have confidence. Christine, give us more Donnie Dust in your life. Christine, give us a little Andy Elliott, please. I sent some new video to the bonfire. Send the one where he yells at the... Yeah, I sent it. Yeah, give the one where he screams at Jacob for this behavior.

This last one? Yeah, here you go, Jacob. Letting these bitches make you feel bad about yourself. This is Lewis Guy. That you met and you're like're like i would be like that person no disrespect with a fat person with a probably somebody in shape on the second day and being honest okay you guys are all to alter young here some of you guys are

better shape than others my point is is that it's time to did our lives right have you guys ever seen but this guy one guy I'd rather I'd rather fight this guy than take my shirt off in front of room full of people while he looks at me take your shirt off you tub of shit I'll just sell sucker punch I'll throw first. That's the whole video Everyone see what a fat shit you are play. That's my Okay, that little boy wants a superhero dad doesn't look like a superhero right now

So why is he wearing a breathe right strip superhero as fast as I can? I just want you to do this. We're gonna watch you. He's wearing a breeze, right? This guy's an asshole Lou. You don't. You're missing his word brother. You're missing his word. And I want you to know that from this point forward I'm not putting shit in my body that I shouldn't be eating and you're not going to do it either.

Lou, I don't know you at all if I'm telling you that I feel like for five seconds at a barbecue you can sit down and talk to this guy for two Minutes and take him seriously. I bet he's always pitching shit Everything he does though. He'd listen Yes, absolutely you got to soak it up soak the knowledge. Yeah, you got to be you got to be an ear not a mouth

Why do you think yes has so much knowledge? What's his credentials? You say so much? No, I just started as a car salesman. Oh shit. Guys he's a multi-millionaire now. He's teaching people how to do what he does. Yes that's always the Bonzi scheme. I'll teach you. Here's how to make yourself a millionaire. Give me one dollar and I'll tell you and then you give him a dollar and he goes tell other people to give you a dollar you'll tell him how to be a millionaire. That's exactly what the plan is always Yeah, take your shirt off let everyone see what a fat fuck you are Look at this guy is sloppy drippy mess. That's my biggest fear in life that I get into a car accident They have to cut my shirt off on the side of the road. Let me die dude. Let me fucking die

Do not try to resuscitate don all these nurses see my gurney jiggle Oh my god my gurney just look up. It's my body on a gurney lifeless Just jiggling as they hit fucking bumps and traffic just on the West Side Highway They get those medical scissors out and just start up like let me fucking die. Do not oh I don't want to do it would be funny like I barely open my eyes Why they're trying to bring it back to life, and the first thing I do is try to cover myself with my hands. Don't look down.

Keep me on my back, please. Don't put me on my side. Yeah, there's another one. Six pack check. Six pack check. Take your shirt off. Come on. Oh, boy. This is the worst seminar I've ever. I'm gonna take it off like a snail.

Wow, that guy's good. Come on. Yeah! This girl's been in the studio ever... Wow, that guy's good. Come on. He's been in the booth for a while, he ripped. Now, Jason is an extremist. Bradley said something a minute ago that really struck me

in 2019 when I started studying him. Bradley. We should have put him in there. Who's Bradley? The guy who just took his shirt off. I can always no how disciplined I think Christine's won over my body fat percentage Jason take your shirt off come on remember I told you that he's the guy that was like I have a magic floor I throw my laundry I throw my shirt on the floor and it ends up in my

drawer and he's like my wife has a magic purse remember briefly so that's Bradley and he just like came up in my feed one day and he's like a total asshole, but I don't mind him like See what's happening in the world I can do this I Could just do this if you want Face your fears boy What step up? It's time to start playing games Do you want it Bobby I do then attack it all right? I'll attack it attack it hard Attack it till it's complete, and you don't stop until that attack and is done. What do I have what I attack what?

It's the grand it it it as in life. What do you want to be I want to be a But what do I have- what do I- I attack what? IT! The grand IT! IT! IT as in life! What do you wanna be? I wanna be... a good father. ATTACK IT! A good husband. ATTACK IT!

A good lover. You got to ATTACK IT! I wanna be a good stand-up comedian. Rise! Grind! Attack! Rest! Fuckin' ATTACK IT!

Drink three gallons of water a day three three gallons of water a day Is that in the bad? Yes? Okay, it trains your body to extend to extreme situations three gallons a day three gallons a day. What else? Run 16 miles a day 16. I got a plant to fetch yet. Do you want to make associate partner your job? I'm not at that type of job. I Can't help you boy if you want to be helped take your shirt off Take your shirt off. No, no put your titties in your hands try to suck a nipple I don't want to show all the people what you all fail

You make me just want a cake. Get after it! You make me wanna overeat right now. I want cheese, it's so bad. Is this the guy? Wait, this is, it makes me, is this just one of them though? He just sent me one, but I'm sure I can go to his page.

Yeah, go to his page. While you're queuing this up, but this guy just does different screaming and crying scenarios. This one's like, is like is like yeah. Yeah here it is Groom discovers bride has been sleeping with best man backpacker lost in jungle do the best man one says groom discovers Bride has been sleeping with best man I'll let me for want to talk to you

I don't even want to talk to you. You did this. You destroyed our marriage. How could you do it? After everything we have been through. Everything we have fought for. You've been sleeping with my best friend. My best man at our wedding. I was sleeping with my best friend. The music is great. My best man at our wedding.

The wedding? This is hot. I thought you loved me. I thought you loved me! Go ahead, see if it goes, they were just like screaming in the bathroom or something, I think. Hey, what's up? I'm BK Burglar, Bob Kelly, AKA The Rooster. Scrooblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleble That's right. It's the podcast version everybody so if you want to hear the whole thing go to serious xm.com Slash bonfire to get the whole thing yeah, you get tons of other entertainment, too It's not just us you got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show You go to all kinds of other shows and you know what tell a friend, but most importantly this show Yeah, this show just go to the show do something resembling anything I?

Go to the show do something resembling anything I Could do that No, there's a ton of but go to like a yeah, what's this one? My son desperate dad holds police officers hostage to save his sick son It's got a hammer. You lied to me. You said you were gonna call me back, Jack. He just does scenes where he cries.

Do the one father shows up and his daughter dead in the woods. What? Isn't that the one you first head up? Oh, yeah. This guy's use of music is phenomenal RAAAAAAA RAAAAAAA is it body bag?

it's a body bag this is hashtag fiction this isn't like a he's not trying to inspire people no, this is being funny this is an easy way to underpass an underpass. He has police tape over it. I just ran through a puddle in slow motion. It's so god damn weird. Why is that sad? I don't know why that's sad.

Now keep playing it. He's gonna do the thing where they try to stop him. Oh Who is this guy? His name is uh. Um, Louis Sonderson. Louis Sonderson. S-A-U-N-D-E-R-S-O-N 38. Louis Sonderson 38. So this is a guy that you would watch? It's just entertaining. I'm not trying to get the, I don't know what the credentials are of these people that you would watch. I don't know what the credentials are of these people that you would watch.

I don't know what the credentials are of these people that you would watch. I don't know what the credentials are of these people that you would watch It's just entertaining I'm not trying to get that. I don't know what the credentials are of these people that you wanted to just I Mean lose first thing is why would this guy inspire so much goes well guy was his car salesman It's for you know I mean you Bobby ears things always like yours has the most interest again because you're like whatever thing goes The guy bit his own cancer off and then lived in a cave for 10 years that's pretty interesting and then Jacob your little fucking sissies out there fucking frothing his beard literally and figuratively

no way I couldn't hang with this guy for five seconds we could text him if we went right now call him a dildo tell him Robert Kelly said you're a dildo Every photo is intense his face is like he's choosing that like you fuck Fuck best marriage badass dad love God hundred million plus biz We get this shirt made it's time to get it all Hundred million plus I want that shirt. Can we get that shirt made? I fucking, it's time to get it all. 100 million plus. And this is it, he's 100 million there because he's found a scheme doing his bullshit.

But he has to keep that up. Lou wants to give him his money. He has to keep that up though. You know I've never met a consultant, someone in an audience who tells me they're a consultant, I go, what does that mean, what do you do? And none of them can describe it. It's a fictitious job that millions of people have I feel like

And that's what this guy's do it's just a fictitious job He goes I'm the foremost guy to yell at you until you're not trying hard enough. Hey You see this guy's abs you think you're gonna get that from the overeating you're not that's what he does we do Just cuz he just makes obvious statements. You're not gonna get big muscles if you do not exercise. I'm afraid to tell you, I think I'm the first person to lay this on you. You're gonna have to walk more, get your energy up, and take in less calories. You know, I'll give you the secrets. I Want Jada I want you to inspire me. I want to call you

Like hey, I'm you know, no muscly body. I'll fucking scream. No kids. I want you to whore I want to do it like that. Oh just be a schlub walking around yelling people how they should live their lives Okay, I'll do it. He's wearing all that and I'm gonna really tell people I'm gonna really over push exercise And they're gonna be like I don't fit this guy this guy was doing all the same stuff. He wouldn't look like that up at three second workout 7 a.m Does he teach people how to be salesman is that his thing absolutely is there anybody that has success from him is there any Like people saying yeah him dude?

He's killing it well the ripped abs guy. Yeah all the people behind him well that one guy got ripped abs We don't know how much money he makes If you're gonna want to get to the final level It's like Jacob if he wants to save his hair has to go fuck guys at a farm If you want the final of this you got to shave your head and do some kind of a ceremony that employees Involves ball bags on your head. I mean, look at fucking Andy Frisella. Looks like he plays bass in Twisted Sister currently. Ed Mylette, Brad Leah.

That's, oh, this is your person. It's not my person, I know who he is. This is your safe person, your safe space? But you like him. Yeah. He's your guy. Yeah, it's like a- So you have a guy too.

No, I don't. As Christine gets older, I think she's- So you have a guy too. No, I don't. As Christine gets older, I think she's getting more attracted to a sharky fucking money guy that doesn't have to leave all the time. She wants a man. Can I confess something?

This guy's not a man. She wants a man as we know men. That's a man. Nah, this guy doesn't strike me as the fucking fix his own shit. I gave her my ringer yesterday. I'm gonna confess that she rejected my fighter yesterday. What your fucking K-pop guy?

No, James Grange. Oh, he's... The guy I work with. And you called him a knob and it hurt. He's such a knob. He is not. He's not a knob. You just never heard him...

You just heard the videos. He was kind of a knob. You know the American Dad episode with the Steven Snot, with the time machine? It reminds me of like the guy that Steve turns into that's like a douchey workout guy. He's like a cartoon character. No dude that guy's got a drawer full of affliction shirts. I mean my workout person's like a they them that's now a mom that I guess is a she her now. I bet you that guy still wears Von Dutch hats.

Yeah dude, that guy's got a lot of skulls on his stuff. Yeah. This guy's a knob. There it is. Everyone's a knob. Well that guy is. Not everybody. Everybody's a knob.

That guy's a knob. That guy was a knob. He was kind of a knob. There's my workout girl and her husband. I mean total knobs. All right. These two suck. Those two queens.

Nevermind then. Never mind, then. I dislike these two. Every day they wake up to take a fucking posed picture that looks like some kind of goddamn novel cover. They're assholes. The two elves. Yeah, the one's a guy that says he's a girl, the other one's a girl that says she's a guy.

All right. I don't know what happens. I'm sticking with James Grange. And if it came down between him and these two, you're hanging with me and James. You guys, Kirby. That's your guy. Kirby Allison, your little boy toy.

I'll hang out with Kirby, that's right. Damn right. Not in front of Rachel, you won't. Yes, I will. No, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. If you were out front with Kirby and Rachel started walking up,

you'd be like, dude, I gotta go. You're afraid of her. I gotta go. You're afraid of her. I gotta go. You're afraid of that little Jewish yentigo and telling everybody how much you love this little nanny. I'm saying it on the air right now. I love Kirby Allison. Yeah.

That's right. The guy's awesome. Christine, nobody wants to watch your stupid fucking workout people. Is this your people? Can I see the guy talking that you said you like? I wanna hear his bullshit. Yeah, I don't know his videos well enough. let's do I'm not confident. I like that Where's that right here word says it?

All of a sudden I went from the same as everybody else having the same issues the same fears the same challenges I don't care. He's going I walk in and was like I'm gonna throw something at the TV. I'm not necessarily. Are you kidding me? Go back to that. No, not yet. Start that over. No, let's go to.

No, no, no, no, no. Start that over. Can I all go, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be Christine stop making me try to find one you think I'll like him play that one We just why? I went from the same as everybody else having the same issues the same fears the same challenges to where now I don't care and when I walk in and was like Like what do you mean? I'm not necessarily confident. I just don't care about someone heckle cuz I care about my

opinion who's my best friend me who's never leaving me me why is your opinion more important than mine it makes no sense now if I'm paying you for your opinion I can take that differently I'm telling you had that at the end because he's actually giving his opinion so he had to add that if I'm in now if you pay me a dollar then it matters that was bad shit that's Christine funnest one that's gonna inspire us because he has a guy Christine has a guy Christine has a guy Christine has a guy Christine has a guy let me pick please go up up up up and go to keep going up there was one I wanted keep going

Lamborghini's please portray or present some image a lot of people become a victim to that because unless you can keep that up and we all know there's gonna be recessions we all know your business no matter how good it is it's not gonna grow 50 or 100 percent this is a person talking to Christine's guy. The last thing to go is the appearance on Instagram. If they're business owners, they get rid of their employees first. They might be behind on their payments on their office. And then what do they do?

This sounds like serious satellite radio. Look at that! I'm like, this is our business. This is talk radio. This is scaring the shit out of me right now. Doing all these things, so a lot of people can have this charade go on for two, three, four years and what they hope is that eventually things will turn around. We all know that it doesn't always work that way and that's one of the challenges I think today.

Did your asshole talk ever, Christine? What? Did this asshole talk at all? Everyone's got Bentley's and Rolls Royces and Ferraris and everything. Yeah, but I guess this is just an enlisted episode. The reality is they may have that but they might not. He's posting a whole video of him scratching his own chin listening to a guy. Christine, you guys are...

He's a total douche. He comes in and he's like, I'm not going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to dolisted. I guess post a whole video of him scratching his own chin, listening to a guy. He's a total douche. He comes up and I just don't hate him and I wish I did. Why do you keep saying you don't hate him but you wish you did is such an amount of emotion to put into a man you've never met. That's Christine's dream, a guy to listen. Yeah. A guy to stop talking for five seconds. We're turning on Jay. She pays the price for it later. We can all have fun now. Now tonight we're going to have to flip the cushions. You don't have a guy, do you Jay? Who inspires you? Yeah, who inspires you Jay?

Nobody. Nobody. Jay? Nobody. You don't think that's crazy? You have no one you think is cool and inspirational to you? No. Entertaining. Who's entertaining inspirational? You don't watch any inspirational? I mean, probably Howard Stern is probably the most inspirational I think I listen to regularly. You listen to him every day. Yeah. So there's your guy.

Less now, weirdly less now. Now I watch a lot of YouTube clips and like sports shit. But that's your guy. Yeah. You probably took a lot of stuff Howard did and you can see you dress. Like Howard Stern? Well he dresses a little crazy, you know, not his age.

He's barbados. Yeah. I got a 19 years younger, smoking hot model. Oh. I'm sorry, you have Howard Stern money? No. No. Hey.

Ah. My god. You didn't hear the varvatos line. You're wearing just regular boots. Boots. This is the magic purse thing that I found it. You're wearing just regular boots. This is the magic purse thing that I found it. I heard when I told them I got lucky, I got like a magical floor. If I literally take off my shirt and throw it on the floor, it ends up hung up again

in the closet. If I put my pants in this basket, the next day they're folded back where my pants go. It's the craziest you've ever seen. I got from that. They're like, you know Yeah, you're insinuating your life. I'm like, listen, she's got a magic purse dude. Every time she empties it of money more appears I got a magic floor. She got a magic purse. We're happy leave us alone What the fuck does that all that means you drop your shit on the ground pick it up wash it and fold it put it back When I get socks, I don't want them inside out either.

I want them, I want them, I want to put them on my feet. I don't have to do an extra step. My underwear's the right way. I want it folded, all my shirts hung. And if I'm going out, steam my shirt. Yeah, and when I go get a dish, it should be ready. And the coffee should be made. Yeah.

Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't wanna call Tommy Yeah. Fucking brew it, you cunt. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? I don't call time, she's my wife, I love it. Oh, I thought we were in a fight. We work together. I thought we were hypothetical, though.

She has to fill out all the fucking mortgage. Oh my God, I'm such a fucking orator. She goes, there's 38 pages, I go, I gotta go. I gotta go. I'll put initials if I have to. I don't know how to spell anything. Dawn knows how to do my initials perfectly. She knows this. Yeah, I would have started document was and she goes I got it She signed my name

Perfectly she practiced Signing my name. I wonder if Christine's done that behind my back That's what I would say if I knew exactly how to sign Hmm, I know how to use your credit cards on Amazon sure does goddamn she has a bottomless Amazon wishlist but I don't have this magical floor it's weird that's psychotic to say if I threw things on the floor oh my god you won't do anything I do everything strangely I feel like Christine feels like she is a magic floor.

She won't just leave stuff anywhere. Then magically it goes away. Pretty crazy. I drop stuff on the floor and I get yelled at. Yeah, it could go 30,000 different ways. Yeah, but I don't do my laundry. Do you feel that Black Lou in your house, are you a drop it where it lands? And your lady handles it?

She does. But I wash everything, she folds everything. Yeah. That's a partnership. I don't do dishes. I do dishes on Thanksgiving. This guy is saying, like, literally he just shits where he stands and a lady comes by him

and puts a toilet under him. No. Or grabs a little bucket or something. That's what it sounds like. Well, go ahead. That was it, that was the whole clip. Oh, I thought there was more to it. I mean, look.

Yeah? Everybody has a job in the house, right? You do what I don't like to do, I do what you don't like to do. When we needed a fence around the yard, I built it. When she needed the garden, she wanted a garden, I bought it and put it together. Hang on.

When she needed- You built the fence? Did we go through this already? I do all that shit in my backyard. How'd you build the fence? With the Yellowstone like fence builder. I bought the fence and then I bought fence posts. I bought quick dry cement and then I got my friend Big Shoulders Joe who's a man to help

me. There you go. I mean I'm not saying every guy... I told you that. Every guy needs a man friend To around to help you out Who's like which life do you prefer? Would you rather be the man friend? Were you happy to call the man friend? I'm happy to call the man friend like when my fridge the filter got stuck

Mm-hmm, and it fucked up cuz you got one of those Samsung fridges that does everything and they break three months later The back of the fridge had to come out and I couldn't get it out with my hands so I called my friend Paul who's a big man and he came over I was like you gotta go to my house you gotta take the back of the fridge out because we have to fix it put a thing in and he just went over and I go please don't fuck my wife. Did he? No I don't think so. Okay. But if he think so. But if he did, but if he did, I mean... The fridge was out. The fridge was out, he fixed the fridge. Took a little vig, right? Took a little vig.

Why don't you gotta take a little something off the top? A little something for the troubles. I 100% wouldn't give a shit right now. If Don was like, I'm banging this dude, I'd be like, are you gonna cook dinner? No, not your friend, not Joe, not Man Joe. Not him. No, just some guy. No, you'd be mad. I'd. Not him. No, just some guy.

No, you'd be mad. I'd be so upset. Where would you prefer it happen? Where would you prefer it happen the most? Let's say, obviously, top answer is the other person's place. I would say- But would you rather it be house or tiny house? No, I would rather it a home goods parking lot after hours.

But that's not- In his car. There's only two options. Not my car. Of course, there's many better things in your own home, but would it hurt more tiny house or house? Tiny house. It's close quarters, right?

It's close quarters. It's sacred to me. Yeah. Yeah. It's your zen place. Yeah, there's many rooms in the house. How about just on a blanket outside the tiny house under the stars? That's fine. That's fine. I'm fine with that. Really? Yeah, she wants to fuck outside I'm fine. I'd actually respect her

While max is off in the distance fishing Max is with me. I don't want him around. Oh, okay I think dawn would go Lesbo before she'd go guys. Really? Yeah, I think she'd go... I'm always worried about that. Let's see if we can get her and Christina headbutting each other's twats. You really want them forming Voltron against us? Sure.

Have at it, ladies. Fuck it, that's the last thing I want is those two fucking becoming one. Dude, go chew on each other's loose meat sandwiches dog, what do I care? Me and you will be living in a studio down in the East Village. We'll be alright. No dude, we'll be alright. Oh yeah, no Dawn is gonna wreck you, she's gonna take you for half. She's gonna take all of it.

Yeah. Christine I could clean break from pretty much, or we could kill her. You can't kill Christine. Yeah, Christine I could clean break from pretty much or we could kill her What that is my guy is I watch a lot of You know true crime stuff on social media, so I'm telling you as long as we cut off her fingers take out her teeth We buy ourselves months Nothing, huh? I'm entitled to nothing You're still gonna be a little pain in the ass. You know, maybe she's better to get you out of the way So, you know, he's around bitch. next time you blow him put it in a fucking ice

cube tray freeze it and put it up there let it melt what are you supposed to do? Psycho dick for an hour? last time if Christine did it last if Christine did it the last time she blew me that kid would be 13 years old right now he'd be playing with Max? he'd be playing with Max. He'd be playing with Max right now. He'd be walking Max around school. He'd be the guy who shows him around. Him, James, and Max would be best friends.

That's all you gotta do. Steal my cum? Steal his cum for a child he doesn't want? Steal his cum. Get married. Again, it's not Howard Stern money. What if something happens to him? Do you ever think of that? Uh, yeah. And if something happens to him? Do you ever think of that?

Yep, if something happens to him, everything goes to Isabella. Think about it, she's rooting for it. Why would I be rooting for it? I'm in a much better position with you alive. That's right. Yeah, she gonna fucking hook up with Justin and go to a gay farm three times a year?

Sure, she might get to meet Madonna once. Well, you know what? That's actually fun. And those two weirdos she's into. And those two weirdos that you like. Christine, we got you. Anything happens, you come with us. You're gonna live with us. And Dawkins. Dawkins is 100% coming.

You come up to Katona, you live with us. You and Dawn can fucking whack off when I leave. You guys can smush puss. Smush push. While Bobby's off making the bread. I'll wear Jay's hoodies every once in a while. Yay. And paint one on my hands.

I'll just finally get those boobs and try to marry Rich. Fuck yeah. Is that why you ain't getting them? That's your game plan? That's your final... Oh, here you go. Christine, that's as easy. Christine,'s your final... Oh, here you go. Christine, that's as easy.

Christine, get fake tits and I'll marry you. You wouldn't get fake tits for me, but for the next guy? No, that's not the way that should work. To bag the next guy. No. You haven't bagged me yet. Who has money to live off of. You haven't bagged me yet.

You think that guy who drops his clothes on the ground is gonna want those boobs? He's gonna want fake titties. Big fake old titties. He's gonna make her get them. Yeah, I don't do that. I don't force women to do things. It's not my style. Cause you're a good guy.

Cause I'm a great guy. You're a great guy. A fantastic guy. That's funny. But you get fake tits, I'll marry you the next day. I would get fake tits just to see what he would do I'll have to marry her. Christine you don't want to get married, right? More than wanting to get married I really wanted him to be divorced now that he's

Divorced it's like I'm not really like scrounging for marriage Especially seeing what divorce is so up close and personal kind of sucks. Yeah, you guys wouldn't get divorced. You guys are lifers. Yeah, which means one of us has to die. Yeah. Be nice if you made a will. Why don't you make a will, dude? Yeah, Jay, why don't you make a will? Come on, first of all, I don't have to do

a fucking GoFundMe and a show every year just to help Christina. No, yeah, you don't. A a will let me do my will right now. Someone give me a pen. Let's figure it out Let's sort this out. Thank you Paco Okay Jays will now. I don't have a lot of stuff. Well, you got you got money. Who do I give Isabella to? What? Who do I give Isabella to? What? Who do I give Isabella to?

Your daughter's an adult and she has a mom. Who will guide her in a fatherly way? Nate. Nate Bargazzi. Nate Bargazzi. Now. Why? Now.

He's got his own kitty list far away. It's a hundred percent Ari. No, Jason Ellis. Jason Ellis. Yeah. Teach her. Teach her. The ways of submission to a man.

Teacher how to lift and have fun at the same time Teach my daughter to lift and fuck please lift fuck now. Okay, Isabella goes to Ari Ari Shafir. Oh, that's good. I think that's a good answer Travel the world like a vagabond for the rest of a very very possible, but she's getting over the death of her father Keep in mind. Okay. Yeah Okay bond for the rest of her life. Very very possible but she's getting over the death of her father keep in mind. Okay yeah. Okay. So what do we say? The car's a lease you don't own that. Car's gone. Our car's gone. I do own a car. Where? Carla. The car that Carla has. So why do you leave that car to Carla? I don't know. I'm gonna go listen. Carla's car. Oh god Goes to Christine and then write Carla and Christine fight for four years. No, no

It's in pay. Listen Carla's a lawyer. It's right there on paper. She's gonna have to give Christine the car Even drive you drive. Of course, she drives a Californian. Oh, she doesn't drive when I'm in the car because that would be crazy Okay, so Carla's car goes to Christine you're already doing pretty good. What are you getting? She doesn't drive when I'm in the car, because that would be crazy. Um, okay. So Carla's car goes to Christine. You're already doing pretty good. What are you getting at? It's gotta be a Mercedes, right? No, it's like a, it's a nice car, but it's like 2017.

Chevy Equinox. Shit. Okay. Carla's car goes to Christine. Dog, dog goes to Christine. Dog goes to Christine. Yeah, dog's mine. Okay, dog, Christine. You own our couch. dog dog goes to Christine dog goes to Christine dogs mine okay dog Christine

you own our couch I do yep and I own the chair and the love seat but just the couch in the Ottoman couch slash Ottoman that's a nice piece of equipment like the price is right you got a whole living room set donate to charity Couch no, you know what the trash now sucks You leave with a couch. No, why? Why I'm gonna have to move in a smaller apartment that couch won't fit cuz I don't want memories of me around her Okay at all. Okay, that's next I'm putting all memories of me all memories of me Go

To my friend former bouncer from the comic strip Gil Gil he's a former he's a former security Oh is Gil your guy. He's my guy gets all my memories What is Gil taught you huh? What is Gil taught you in life? He'll tell me that even there's people in this world that you would call your man friend when the reality is it's very possible mostly he's just willing to try to do it more than he knows how to do it. So sometimes just try. You go I don't know man I would never know how to hang a shelf that has no show hook. You know what I mean? We're just like, what do you call that?

Floating shelf? Floating shelf, you gotta find the studs. Absolutely. 16 inches apart. I don't think, Gil knows how to find the studs. But he'll try. You just get a stud finder. I've done that before. You don't know how to use a stud finder?

Well, I turned it on. I went around to everybody in a short and went just got this new studfinder And then I would do boop boops when it passed me and then I turned it off. I never tried again Fuck a child studfinder looks like we found it looks like you're gonna have to fucking screw this You get a house you're gonna have to find a man friend. I'm gonna give you one I'm gonna give you one of mine. You hire a man friend? All memories of me go to Gil. What did you say?

Former comic strip security guard. All memories you. What about the Tempur-Pedic? Is it paid off? If it's not paid off, I don't want it. Paid off. I paid it off immediately. Okay.

I'll take the sleep number for my small apartment. Sleep number goes Christine. You have two different beds in the same room or is it the sleep number in the guest room? What are we, Desi and Lucy? Why do you... the other ones in the guest room, okay. Sleep number Christine. I'll say the Tempur-Pedic goes to, and this is gonna surprise a lot of people, I'm gonna need him to be comfortable while he's got all these memories in me. I'm gonna throw that one over to Gil to Gil's Get a tempur-pedic everybody gills make it up

No one this room's ever heard of Gil before but I want the tempur-pedic whoa whoa whoa you said you wanted a sleep number I know cuz I'm gonna have to get a small part. I already put it in pen so No, no, I haven't given money I feel the dresser too cuz I won't fit in my new small apartment dresser Gil can I have some oh we have three TVs that's what I was gonna say now all electronics your TVs and your record no no no not all I get all Sonos also knows go to me you can't just make these things by will she's asking all right. I'm just finding there's five sono speakers

Christine you get the surround sounds and the woofer you have to get your own sound bar sound bar goes And I'm sorry to say this is gonna blow everyone's minds going right to kill I get the sound bar. I get the two sides We know where I get the woofer and's gotta listen to music that reminds him of me and then that music's gonna play over the sound Jim Christine you're being ridiculous You're being fucking ridiculous No you're actually being as selfish

All my memories remain with one person I need him comfortable and able to hear things You can't will your memories I did it already Well that's not, how about your money? What percentage of money do I get he has other things god damn I have other stuff. Yeah, what else? Okay? I want the wallet the wallet and the bag revert back to me Ball Louie Vuitton reverts back to you're being so you're not asking nicely you're being aggressive

And it's making me not want to leave you anything wallet Bobby that's coming over your way, buddy. Oh, thanks. You happy? You know what, Bobby should get the bag too. Wallet slash bag. Can I just say something?

I appreciate that, thank you so much, and I do love it. Is there any way I can get your laptop with not the history cleared? So I can watch the weird shit you were doing? Bobby. He clears it every time he uses it. Oh, you do? Cleared every time I use it.

God damn it. Well, if you know you can. You know know I give your phone over to Bobby. I'll take your phone Why I don't know some weird shit in there so we can go throw it in the bottom of the lake So nobody ever has to go in there Laptop laptops to and phone Also go to Bobby. Thank you Bobby you have your phone with them I will and then you burn them right to hell when it gets to the midget stuff you're gonna start questioning if you ever knew me at all

I gotta throw something my boys in the room here DJ Lou what does DJ Lou want that I have you have that chair from Burt. It's a good chair. You got a chair from, he gave you a chair? It's an outside folding chair. Oh. Settle down. Okay. Let me give you a licks up to. It's a good camp chair.

Great camping chair. Burt chair. Bobby. DJ Lou. I mean. Wait, before you write that down, DJ, I'll give you a laptop and a wallet for the chair. The chair is worth money, it's from Burt. Yeah, but it doesn't say Burt on it.

It's just a camping chair. Well, it does say Burt Kreisch's fully loaded tour. Oh, you know what? Forget it, you can have it. Okay. It's like having a Sufi chair. I don't want it. It is, you do though.

It's like this, that's the chair. Yeah, I don't fucking want that. Oh, damn, Dane should have gotten little Sufi chairs in his backyard. That'd have been funny because look you could sit in it perfectly. It's got the arm rest of the fingers down. The back of the chair, do little Sufi chairs. Get him on the phone, dude. That's a gazillion dollar idea. But the Burt chairs go on the DJ Lou. And you guys if you do want to throw in here any kind of like parlays or trades or something here, I will keep track.

Oh, your grandfather's jewelry should keep track of your grandfather's jewelry. She's good Nico grandfather's jewelry Which does I it's funny cuz I can't wear any of it man, but it does mean a lot to me What kind of jewelry is it? It's a necklace like a gold chain Id bracelet gold. Yeah, it's gold. It's uh, it's very very nice, but more than nice It's very very sentimental. Your grandpa down. I was very young. He made a lot to me You really have not a lot of stuff and I can only trust this with Gil

Former security guard from the comic strip. You know, it was gonna be where my grandpa's jewelry Having fond memories of me in a temperpedic listening to my sound beam You know what? You should give them those leather pillows to they go with the chair that we gave them We'll throw in the leather chairs leather pillows with Gill leather leather pillows for the chair, okay? Yeah Let their pills. I'm running out of stuff though I want the pottery barn thing that goes under the TV colognes go to Bobby nice I Like that was that cologne you wear all the time that I like that you won't tell me Tom Ford or EC Miyake, we see me or Savage or I just get either Barbados. He knows Shabazz. I have some Barbados black I like Barbados, but that is she's your monkey. What is it called? He see me? Ah, key when I'm dead

Yeah, these are all yours. Thank you, and I always have surplus. I make sure I have what I like Jacob I see you over there thinking I must have forgot about you and don't you dare say that Remember those stupid straps you told me to buy so I could work out with I do want a second. They just take up space I'm gonna give you mine. I'm also gonna throw him Christine's as a bonus none of them are getting used all straps Jacob What about the the Versace's? Ever saw she sunglasses you don't know how much that means to me you're giving me your stripes all my straps and Jacob

You know what when you're done. I want you looking fly. I'm throwing those Versace sunglasses Versace's Lou just got bumped out to Jacob now. That's not a black Lou look Black Lou are the TVs gone already. They're not all gone. I mean your TV guy love of TVs But if those are gonna go to Gil I'd love all of your hoodies and jerseys hoodies and jerseys for sure all he has a man cave that 98 inch TV Gil doesn't live in a place where that hundred inch TV is gonna make any kind of sense So Gil can matrix himself in with the other two no one of them. I want the true black never cared once about

Doesn't even care if she has cable once my true black TV We'll talk about it Gil gets one TV for sure Maybe a second TV depending on Christine's attitude throughout the rest of this process and will you get the hundo screen TV these jerseys hundo inch black Lou ps5 Christine the ps5 is clearly going to one person one person only no kill go to Isabella Gilles make it a lot Isabella doesn't play video games she's an esthetician now Gills gonna be playing ps5 She already has one she's a ps5. I think she does So yeah, I don't know

Now I just got a thing I pretty much I think was just divvy up the money Yeah, do you have any other things? Maybe we come back? We'll figure out my money divvy up But so far this looks good. I know we got to take a break here I'm gonna take a break. All right, Shafir gets full custody of Isabella Carlos car going to Christine because you're gonna enjoy that just give it clean it up. It'll be fine The dog goes to Christine of course couch Ottoman charity All memories of me go to Gill sleep number number goes to Christine temper P to gil dresser gil Walton bag Bobby which by the way, I don't like he threw on the trading block right away

Made me feel like he didn't really want it. I do want it, but I did like that camping chair. Okay Laptops and iPhone go to Bobby for safekeeping Bert shared DJ Lou iPhone go to Bobby for safekeeping Bert shared DJ Lou God God grandfather's jewelry going the gil along with a leather pillow Cologne's Bobby All my straps Jacob you're welcome buddy My Versace is going to Jacob also see look good in style hoodies jerseys hundred inch go to black Lou What about the Yeti cooler PS5 goes the cool the Yeti cooler Christine? That's yours mama Christine gets the Yeti Yeti. That's a good one Christine. It is a good one

and Christine also all of my plastic commemorative Spell that sixers and Eagles cups. I should take a picture of how many of those we have. Christine. Christine, you get all of them. Going back from the Ben Simmons era,

oh, all the way back to Carson Wentz and to today. Oh, I want the Crate and Barrel shelf in the guest room. She's really thinking this through. This is not a bit. She thinks I will die Once she knows she's gonna get these few things. I'm worthless to her now. I am better to her dead Well isn't Possession like once Jay dies and everything's in my house everybody else can go fuck themselves now not with that will no Now you possess these nuts. Oh, you know what my nuts Christine

Christine you get my nuts Let's take a break. I know I'm sorry Jacob. We got to be Taking a break. We'll come right back. This was a big yamanika actually yamanika join us yamanika is coming in Big J is gonna be an urban improv this weekend Friday and Saturday fully loaded to all of June Borgata Atlantic City the 27th big J comedy was July that's in July cities in July. Yeah one show the 27th big J. Comedic July that's in july cities in july. Yeah one show the 27th Big-j comedy.com Robert Kelly's in Port Charlotte, Florida this weekend Friday and Saturday After that st. Louis, Missouri to manium Maryland Portsmouth, New Hampshire You can see Bobby every Tuesday night 7 p.m. At the fat black pussycat lounge at the Comedy Cellar

for tickets and all tour dates go to punch up dot live slash Robert Kelly And you know watch YouTube videos and listen to the podcast and tell people All that good shit smash that subscribe button